Expressing Your Masculinity
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2023
- Gay culture has historically idolized traditional concepts masculinity in the context of societal norms, which includes traits like physical strength, assertiveness, and stoicism.
But we must remember that there isn't a single, fixed definition of masculinity. While some embrace traditional concepts of masculinity, others lean towards more non-conforming expressions.
Lately, there has been a growing acceptance of the fact that gender expression and sexual orientation are distinct aspects of identity. In this episode, we're exploring our personal expression of masculinity by answering questions such as:
- What does masculinity mean to you?
- What's the difference between toxic masculinity and healthy masculinity?
- In what ways has societal conditioning shaped how you relate to your own masculinity?
- How do you express your masculinity?
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Unfortunately the majority of gays they show on tv/film are always feminine. They rarely show masculine gay men.
It sounds like everything about this episode is phrasing the lgbt attack on muscalinity and the inability to see how beautiful it and embrace it. I see there is an episode of how attracted gays are to straights (obviously preforming the old version of masculinity) and heterophobia, ill go to those episodes hoping maybe ill get insight to the complex you are trapped in
Agreed. Idk why they talk about masculinity being “performative” as if there’s no gay men who aren’t fem.
Hmm... for me expressing either masculinity or femininity is something about which I neither know nor care; I want to express my gayness and become seriously dispirited seeing the G under attack from both the right and the left.
As a kid, I have always considered guys who can fix,build or repair things to be "masculine". As such, I have aspired be that way as an adult.
After finding that to be inconsistent to what I like doing or what comes naturally to me as an adult 😂, I had to abandon that and redefine what the "masculine" in me is.
And so now, "masculine" means "comfortable in one's own skin " warts and all.
I don't have to be the strongest, the loudest, the biggest, the most confident etc. To be "masculine". I just have to be self-accepting enough to be indifferent to what others define "masculine" to be.
The latter is not easy. Most times, the ego wants "masculine " to be external projection rather than an inner "being ".🤔
As Matt mentions a broad masculine area one enters into, I feel that masculinity is on a sliding spectrum. To me, masculinity implies assertiveness, confidence, safety, and down-to-earthness. I really like Matt's anecdote about he and his personal trainer, how they interacted, and how Matt's relaxing playfulness incited the same in his trainer. I express my masculinity by healthy living and by being goal-oriented. I also express it in my manner of dress. I think a lot of these can come naturally to a person, once they truly know themselves.
10:18 till now you only talk why old fashioned masculinity is dangerous and bad.
This episode need to be rewritten, "how to connect to the new only legitimate which is not hetro muscalinity"
This episode was disappointing and should be titled *repressing* your masculinity as not to mislead. There’s nothing performative or toxic about a guy who isn’t stereotypical. A lot of us grow up playing sports or working with tools, cars, etc with our Dads or in school. I’ve been out since I was 14, i don’t need to “perform” the guy I’ve been for 33 years. Very patronizing rhetoric for men of the community just being themselves.
I looooved Reno’s lap dance question. It’s interesting because of course most of us have the stereotypical image of a lady dancing for a businessman. But not only have I been to gay strip clubs, but also to gay friendly ones with lots of hen parties, and those dancers are MASC! I actually see myself dancing and in power, seducing, controlling, making decisions while the other one just watches passively.
It’s hard for me to think about expressing my masculinity because I’m a bit feminine, and I like it, but if course being masculine is nice too. I can only think about myself at the gym, lifting more and more gradually, and in some thirst traps on Insta. Occasionally I look at myself and I think “ok! I didn’t know I had that in me!”. Cheers guys, great episode as usual, good vibes.
Hmm... For me the concept of masculinity is associated with intelligence. It's something he does in a way that makes me attracted to him. Usually, intellectual things and with emotions involved, if that makes sense. The way he expresses ideas perhaps? Other things are bonuses. If he is fit physically, this is a plus. If he has a sense of humour, this is a plus. He likes to be outdoors/travel? Great. He takes some risks? Man, he expands his horizons. Grounded and can make his partner feel comfortable when spending time together? Mmm.. yes. He views a relationship as a potential to grow as human beings instead of an end destination? Amazing.
I find openess, kindness, playfulness and will to be warm so to speak more masculine than being closed off, calculated, rough and assertive most of the time. I like guys with "warmth" so to speak.
This is def a hot button topic for me, im trying to “fix”myself but find myself being more strict on how masculine i expect another guy to be. For me its meant the other guy can 100% pass as straight, not a single clue hes gay. I also tend to prefer stoic/emotionless men. Lol i know how toxic this is which is why i said im working on myself.
I used to be like this, too, but then I learned that "Straight" does not necessarily equal 'masculinity'.'
Amazing podcasts
What a powerfully thoughtful subject. Learnt so much.
I seek my partner to emotionally scoop me and give me comfort and protection. Does that make me less masculine and more expressly feminine? I am not sure and I do not mind. I just respond well to alpha energy.
singing is great! it's an activity that forces one to be present in the moment, and the authenticity of singing is neither masculine nor feminine, but whole in and of itself :)
Matt's story about the shaman resonated with me first, b/c it proves that you can be attracted to someone w/o the sexual component, and I think it emphasizes the fact that men are afraid to touch ea. other for fear of appearing Gay. Consequently, we're in a type of "emotional prison."
I don't really care about expressing my masculinity, b/c my (our) conditioning to constantly "be a man" and to conform to this role, is so objectionable and restrictive. This is why I rejected it long ago. As my best friend used to say, "I just think of myself as a person," and I'm in agreement.
Several yrs ago, Boy George stated during an interview, " To me, being a man is having the male organ." I NEVER liked when someone was trying to railroad me into a rigid stereotype. 💪🏾 I like my freedom!
Did you know that there was a recent study about how ALL men (Bi, Heterosexual, Gay) today are touch-deprived? It's true, and they theorize that this is part of the reason that there's so much violence in our country. It's b/c anger is the only "safe" emotion for men to express. It's led to psychological damage, in some cases.
hahah exploring my masculinity lol ..dudes dedes ,,, come on ,,Love you boys ..Love you where would I start to explore think?
one day i will have enough money to seek therapy or coaching and they will heal me
and i will go to a safe space far away from here
and i will find someone who will love me alot like i will and i will not suffer anymore
i hope i see that one day