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Reddit Guide to Playing Dumb
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 พ.ค. 2021
- Fresh AskReddit Stories: Has anyone wrongfully assumed you were dumb and in the process made themselves look really dumb? What's your story? --- LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES!
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In high school I had an art teacher who hated students using mechanical pencils to draw and would frequently go on tirades about how you can't shade properly with mechanical pencils because of the lead and a bunch of other annoying shit. The thing is, she never provided us with actual drawing pencils - the ones with various points, shades, thicknesses, etc. and we had to use our own. I had graphite pencils, something about the way the lead feels when it goes over paper literally makes my hair stand on end and I get goosebumps. One day we had an assignment preparing us for the end of year exam where we had to show six distinct variations of shading. She saw my assignment was completed and held it up for the class to see, saying: "This is what I want you to do on the exam! This is how everyone's shading should look!" She handed the paper back to me and asked me what pencil I used. Me holding up my mechanical pencil made her lips disappear into a thin line and she just walked away. Sorry that I know how to apply pressure and be patient with shading to make things look proper.
That was me and chalk/chalk boards. It used to not be bad as a kid, I guess because I handled it often, but the last time I touched the board, the skin on my arms erupted in goosebumps and it almost seem to hurt as the feeling rippled up my arms. It was one of the freakiest sensations I've ever had. And all I did was place my fingers flat on the board. Emory boards (nail files) have a similar effect on me but nowhere near as severe.
This is why I sharpened my pencils all the time. Whenever the lead was so short the wood would scrape over the paper, it gave me a horrible sickly feeling in my gums. So I sharpened. A lot.
“That sounds like such a stupid thing to say ‘I’m an engineer so my math must be right’ “
Well actually, their math _must_ be right. I’d rather not drive over a bridge designed by this guy
As someone with a not inconsiderable amount of education, I can tell you with 100% certainty that the guys who wear their education lightly are the ones who know their shit (as opposed to those who know they’re shit).
Luckily most of the time we go off the information given to us by site surveyors and now we have drones that can scan the entire site and we can design based on the data sent to us.
In highschool I had an engineer at an assembly tell us we didn't need math to be an engineer. Only like 10 out of the whole grade caught this.
here is a probability, 0% brain function
Also, their are fucking calculators these days. It doesn't matter if your an engineering student or a high school dropout. If you know how to use a calculator, you can do most basic equations.
My sister tried to tattle on me to our mom for something I said. In the middle of it she forgot what I said so it went, "Mom! Hayley said... ugh.... (looks at me) what did you say again?"
I looked her dead in the face and said I didn't know what she was talking about lol
Lol that’s smart
@@SaikiKFann No it’s not. Why tf would they tattle on themselves? common sense
@@ockanatorgd7968 I was talking about OP what do u even mean
@@ockanatorgd7968 how is that not smart?
Ha! Karma and great answer
playing dumb is great when someone has a stupid opinion bc you can keep asking simple questions in a polite way and eventually they won’t know how to support their opinion and will find the faults with their thought process
Unless they're an idiot in which case they'll act as if they made a good point instead of making crap up
If only it were that easy. If someone is seriously stubborn, or holds a point of view strongly, they won’t back down even if they can’t effectively answer those kinds of questions... More likely, they’ll simply get upset at you and end the conversation without conceding a thing.
@@fragrantwinter8233 true, that has happened. my family tends to act that way but you’d still be surprised at how often it works. i’ve learned how to deal with close minded, stubborn people. it takes time and understanding from their point of view to change their opinions but if done right it really is that simple
@@fragrantwinter8233 it's not a satisfying ending, but them just ending the conversation is enough to prove them to be an idiot, emphasized if you find their anger and refusal to engage amusing. They HATE when you actively find them entertaining. In turn, that can actually help them to re-engage
Basically the entire concept behind the Socratic method.
for anyone whos wondering, bagels are boiled in a water-baking soda mixture to get a good crust and then baked to fully cook them :)
edit: bagels are plain boiled, it's pretzels that are boiled in a water-bakingsoda mixture
Thank you for clarifying that I was actually hunting through here to see if that was true. I've never heard of bread being boiled before, that's actually pretty interesting
I was wondering why newyorkers claim their bagel secret is "in the water" lol I thought they were talking about sewer gaters
Newgrounds
@@muggzsinopa5296 You're thinking of Florida Bagels.
Pretzels are the ones boiled in baking soda water. For bagels, it is plain water that they are boiled in. Then both pretzels and bagels are baked afterwards to fully cook them. I love making both pretzels and bagels at home.
First story, "The swimming kid."
I was that kid. I did it on purpose.
Wasn't my mom. It was an older cousin.
She learned her lesson.
"Do your job of Adulting, or the Stupid Kid will be so stupid he makes you look stupid."
Adding: At 19:00 "I'm an engineering student so my math must be right!"
I have also heard people say "My is studying (Subject) at College, so I know you're wrong!"
That other person is studying it. And now you know it. So, you're telepathic, or something?
Ha, you where a smart Alic little shit. I applaud you 😂
Were you ripped into in the car?
@@bensoncheung2801 She tried. But the more she ripped, the more I giggled. And then I said something like "Wait until you see what's next!"
@@GG-jn4dx I'm still a smart Alec little shit :P
Smart? Nope. Smart Alec? Guilty! And the smarter someone thinks they are being, the more eager I become to rub their nose in "It."
I have a hard time believing this, but if it’s true, thanks for the info!
once my dad was surprised when my little brother got a math award (my little brother is disabled and my dad never treated him rightly) and i asked him why. i knew exactly why, i just wanted to hear him say it. he told me "well,,,, y'know,,,,," and i said "i don't know, actually. tell me." and then he straight up told me he didn't expect anything from him because he was disabled.
oof
Screw. Ur. Dad.
Your dad sounds like one of those people who don't deserve to be a parent, no offense.
@@sebastianb.3978 Poor pull out game it seems
Right not right. Also a comma isn't an ellipses
I remember in middle school I was talking to these two guys who started talking about what big fans they were of the band KISS. I admitted that I didn’t know much about the band other than Gene Simmons, and that one of the other guys was named Peter. Both guys instantly started laughing at me saying “dude, there is NO ONE in the band named Peter.“ i said that I was fairly certain that it was the guy who had whiskers painted on his face. They laughed even harder saying “they ALL have whiskers painted on their face.”
I looked it up later to make sure I wasn’t crazy but I found that I’ve been right, Peter Criss. Not sure how much this counts because I don’t know if they ever realized they were wrong but it was just so odd, they were supposedly really big fans and I knew next to nothing about them.
In their defense nobody wants to be Peter Criss, not even Peter Criss (family guy 🤭)
Failed a high school math class (39% 😱) and had to retake in the summer, was told by the 'guidance counselor' that i should drop out cus i obviously couldnt handle it. Proceeded to get an 86 in the 4 week class thx to my amazing new teacher. The look on her face when i went up to her at the end of the semester 😂
Similar story. I had a trash Algebra 2 teacher and was failing the class; she made me sign a note with my counselor that she would give me the grade I got on the state exam as the class grade as long as it was a 2 out of 4. I got a 4 on the exam but she tried to put my grade as a C. I had to file an appeal with the dean to get my A. The next term I'm acing Pre-Cal because I had a great teacher.
The right teacher who’s willing and able to accomodate to the needs of their students makes a world of difference!
i guidance counselor recommends you drop out?............ she is in the wrong job
I used to have a friend group who played dnd a lot. My bf at the time introduced me, but we broke up.
I stayed with the friend group, we both did, but he tried to make my life hell in the process.
See, I'm usually a very gentle, shy person, so to help kick myself out of my shell I ended up playing a lot of loud, brash, hotheaded characters back to back. My ex decided to morph my image in the group to exactly that: loud, abrasive, hotheaded, acts before thinking.
Thing is, I just love roleplay, and I've scared the table a few times for just how good I portray emotion as readily and immediate at the table as I do.
So for the final game I had with them, I played a calm, cool monk with a backstory where my character's sister ended up being a bad guy.
Family was a core of my character, so my ex used that to try and get me to roleplay my character becoming aggressive to his, saying how he specifically was going to kill my character's evil sister. Makes sense, except I knew the reason he made such a claim. The natural response I knew my character would do, wasn't quite the reaction he wanted.
Subdued rejection, with a bold look into his eye. There was a moment we got physically close, but I kept my hands back and away, as I've been told I have problems getting too much into character, to the point where my actions just end up being my character's actions.
I've put hands on shoulders, lightly gripped the front of shirts. It was all the in the rp. I wouldn't do this ever if I wasn't in a role.
The real kicker was after the fact. My ex had been staining my reputation among the group for awhile, and went to talk to our dm about my actions that session in regards to the small in-party argument.
Here's the kicker. The dm just said everything I did was in character. And while it only delayed my inevitable break-off, I was really appreciative that he understood, and saw my actions as what they always were- roleplay.
I wish I didn't have to pretend to be blindsided by my ex's attempts to kick me out of our group, but I got to have a good time with them, for what it was worth. I just hope that one day, if I ever run into them again, I can show them just how wrong everything my ex told them was.
hope you're doing great now.
too lazy to read. tl;dr?
@@jeromejomon9311 tldr: my ex turned social manipulator mode in our game group after I broke up with him, causing almost everyone to turn against me due to him using the character archetype I played against me.
@@mysticmoonlight9695 feel sorry for you, hope you doing fine.
and thank.
Wow, he (the bf) sounds like a douchebag.
"Weird, we found the one place on earth where the sun sets in the south"
That got me
Ah, yes. The north pole.
And I would know. I studied geography.
I believe that most artic/antarctic locations (with the exception of the south pole) have a time when the sets in the south due to the tilt of the earth's axis.
I would have given the pizza woman a calculator and said "if you type 5.99 + 5.99 and it says 10 you can have the pizzas for free."
@Smit Shilpatul "I said if it is 10 not if it isn't 12 ma'am"
Did she get the pizza or not? Dont leave us hanging
@@Sharkakaka i think they’re saying once they see the price they’ll try and find a reason why they should get the free pizza
@@RazorDire I know, I am saying how dumb that excuse is but that would probably be their best excuse
@@Sharkakaka yeah the only dumb thing to say really lol
I'm really good at spelling, if I say so myself. My teacher hated me for no reason. I correct a word she misspelt, politely. I make sure it's not the sole point of my comment, just a side note because I have a lot because I have a lot of experience with people getting mad at me, my spelling and my OCD. She glared at me, ignoring my *actual* question and 'smartass' is written all over her face. Fair enough. She says I'm rude and wrong. I *clearly* can't spell and she's a *teacher* and is therefore *never* wrong. In her rant, she searches it up (in her spelling). On the thing, it says do you mean (correct spelling, which was what I said). The *look on her face* . Still got in trouble, but it was worth it.
I just want to put this in here. Not sure ic it's in the video, but my sister told me a story about this guy who met a group of Harvard students. The guy knew these kids had big egos and they started bragging about going to Harvard, so the guy just acted like he didn't know what Harvard was. The students got real heated over itm
"My parents paid good money for me to brag about being in Harvard >:("
@@toriknorth3324 what's Harvard?
That's fantastic lmaooo
I appreciate the person who commented the quote from My Cousin Vinny
4° from top dead center
@@MasonBrown-qq7oq oil liefie o
Same lol
Hi
The story with the hotel desk worker, if I were the manager I would’ve had him apologize to her, since she’s the one he belittled and was rude to.
When meeting someone with a loud (and wrong) opinion or joke, it's always so fun to play the role of the dumb one. "i don't get it" and "can you explain it to me" is my go to's. but a simple "why is that?" also works wonders. then the loud person will try to explain it as they love showing off - but often get flustered and they realize they are wrong lol
No opinion can be wrong but the reason for it can be stupid
Once was talking about the Tudors & how its so extensive. Had been studying it (for fun) for ten years & still got much to learn. Some idiot thought I was lying. Ironically in true Tudor fashion I used his ego against him and he shut up real quick.
Called me an idiot because I thought putting ranch dressing on hotdogs was weird. Everyone agreed with me.
Yoo alpaca ?
It's weird to put ranch on hot dogs. R u by chance white?
@@yeemawheaver1387 they're saying they thought putting ranch on hot dogs was weird and someone who disagreed called them an idiot.
@@yeemawheaver1387 i didn't put ranch on a hotdogs someone else did. they also make what they call bacon ranch. They put ranch on bacon, cover it with cheese, and put it in the oven. Some people think it sounds good though.
@@bobcommander9114 no I didn't put ranch on a hotdog.
These Computer Science ones sound so weird to me.
Them: What's your major?
Me: Software Engineering.
Them: Oh so you're like really smart then?
Me: I used to think so, but now my homework keeps me humble.
My mom argued with me on how a Japanese word was pronounced. I played an anime that was totally in Japanese and proved I was right.
My mom “well clearly they messed up”
Because the Japanese can’t speak their own language correctly apparently
Out of all, this is the dumbest thing I've read in the comment section, like what is up with ur mom dude.
Some of my past classmates claimed that the song we were listening to was Japanese, and when I told them it wasn’t, they yelled that I was wrong.
I’m Japanese
I have some brain damage and 95% of my dumb moments is the brain damage. Although 5% of the time I act dumb and use my brain damage to procrastinate or buy myself a little exter time. My brain damage is simmaler to first stage dementia.
hope it isn't too bad mate, though it seems like your doing pretty well.
Sometimes ya gotta use the tools at hand ...
Best of luck to you.
Me too. Severe traumatic brain injury is so difficult when you used to be super smart. It's not that I'm not smart anymore, it's that I have a difficult time accessing and expressing it. Aphasia came with my TBI, so talking is pretty funny when you think you're saying something but it comes out totally idiotic: "I'm going to the store after work" becomes out loud: "I'm stretching bygone rainbow when it corns." Absolute nonsense verbally, but I really think I said the right thing. House MD had an episode on aphasia. It's getting better, and doesn't affect my writing, only speech. So @jinx18e, I feel for ya. People don't usually realize that sometimes there's a good reason for acting "dumb". Best of luck in your recovery!
@@alienangel777 ya initially I had forgotten how to read and write, if it wasn't for technology I probably still would be further behind than I am now. It sucks trying to do things that you know you use to be capable of, to now just sit in confusion wondering how its even possible. I use to be able to read a 500+ page book a day but now I can barely get through 50 pages a day. I'd read books borrowed from the college library in 7th grade. Now I'm at a 5th grade reading level. My memory took the worst hit though. I don't remember a lot of things I should and a good portion of new memories will never stick. I often pick up my cat and call him by his dead brothers name because I don't remember the old one is dead. Then suddenly I do remember everything. I don't remember my wedding day or my graduation. People always get mad at me when I don't remember things. No one really accepts that I can't remember, to everyone it's just an excuse or me being rude.
0:55 "telling you you just don't want to do your job"
Yeah no shit, he's a lifeguard, of course he doesn't want to do his job, he would rather you be safe than put himself in a life-risking situation because of stupidity.
?
Facts, the fact the kid almost drowned after proves the point. You'd rather the lifeguards do their job while your kid experiences drowning, or just be close to your kid and pay attention so that nobody gets endangered?
Bonus for her being annoyed at the kid rather than taking responsibility lol
"Of course I don't want to do my job! If I have to do my job, that means something has gone horribly wrong!"
Immediately looked up how bagels are made
Holy shit, bagels are boiled!
learn something everyday
Boiled, then baked.
Pretzels are dunked in an alkaline solution before baking.
Ramen noodles have an alkaline solution added to the dough.
Therefore, ramen is pretzel noodles.
Rice and McDonalds fries have a thing layer of plastic on it
@@eyesofthecervino3366 hmmm... pretzel soup
So in the fifth grade I was in my science class and I didn't have the best grades as a student B- at the highest and in my science class we had this group project we have to do with the other kids at our table and this one bratty girl which will call Vicky. Was leading the project like we told her our answers and she would say they're right or not. and I don't know where the assignment just clicked in my head. and I said it was a completely different answer from what Vicky has said and she and the other kids at my table called me an idiot did not listen to me for any of my answers I put in my answers and they put in Vicky's and a week later they all got D accept me who gotten A the only one with all of the answers correct Vicki and the other kids at my table or not too happy. couldn't get that smug smile off my face for weeks that's still one of my favorite memory of elementary school to this day. ( sorry for the long comment )
Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to get the smirk off my face for weeks, either. Good for you! :)
Could you please add periods? Also I wish I could’ve done something like this
@@Mx_Mc i got you
I played dumb for my previous doctor, who was honestly over the hill and in need of retiring. Brought up my frustration with my romantic life and he took that as an opportunity to convince me I was bipolar. He scheduled a referral with a specialist and wrote me a prescription for meds for such. Well, he forgot that I had seen a specialist earlier that year to assess my eligibility for disability benefits through SSI and signed a waiver to share the results with my regular physician. Well, I revealed that when the receptionist phoned me wondering whether or not I had set up this referral and subsequently, this doctor of mine retired. I caught him hook, line and sinker and he realized it was time to hang it up.
TL;DR: Caught my turnkey of a doctor trying to hoodwink me and he retired as a result.
After my department was taken to task by the new hatchet man from our Quality Assurance department in their first quarterly report for doing things as were prescribed in our manuals, instead of how the hatchet man thought it should be done. I took great delight in responding to the company wide published report line by line, debunking his findings, explaining that the system didn't work in the way QA thought it did. I may have pushed it a bit too for though, when in my last line I stated simply "In closing, everyone will please note that on this planet, we spell assurance with two "s"'s, not three [as the report did].
In my day, that would have been a physical letter, and my stuff occasionally would crisp brown at the edges before delivery. :)
14:26 When I was a kid, maybe 11, my mom sent me to the store for a few things including a head of lettuce. The heads of lettuce at the store looked pretty ratty, and then I saw the World's Most Perfect Head of Lettuce: smooth, dense, PERFECT. We had cabbage to eat that evening.
To be fair, cabbage pretty much is the cooler lettuce.
I'm a translator and interpreter. I'm also a young looking black woman with kinky twist curls and lighter brownish red hair.
1. "We were looking for someone with more experience and not someone recently graduated."
I'm 38 and it's my 15th year.
2. "We were asked for a Japanese interpreter..."
Me: "日本語がはなせますは。"
"And a French interpreter..."
Me: "Je parle français... "
3. "It's possible for you to finish translating (250000 word book, research report/study)" in 10 days.
Me: If you pay me quadruple to skip several meals and sleep no more than 3 hours a day while ignoring any other clientele I'll get it done in that time frame.
4. ""Our request was for a Japanese translator."
Me: "I'm who you've requested."
"How? Your black."
"I learned and I'm aware..."
Jeez does this feel so relatable. This was painful to read. 😕
@@grasshopperjohnson184 Sometimes I genuinely don't understand why people don't think persons of color can be educated. My graduating class was 78% minorities in 2005. My niece is graduating in a stem field with a class of 61% minorities with over 25% at honors level. A minority student is more likely to graduate with honors than one who is not. Jeeze...
I worked at tea shop at beach vacations site(not English speaking country), got a very rude tourist lady coming in speaking broken English so I talked to her in English. When her friends arrived they were badmouthing the beach/area in French. So, I spooked to then in English until its was time to pay and I told them in French that "Aldo I don't speak a lot of French, I do understand it quite well". C'mon, if you came a turistic place in Europe you have to expect that most people working there will be at least bilingual and there is a chance they now your language
Me, on a video featuring a very elegant Chinese lady: I can’t decide whether I want to call her a princess or a fairy. 💕
Jerk: I want to call her CHINAVIRUS!!
Me: ...Why? That’s an odd nickname- and quite negative, at that.
-
I know exactly why, but I hope that jerk feels embarrassed or ashamed. 🤷🏻♀️
You can bet that the same person would probably make excuses and deflect if you called out bad things people who have the same race as them have done. Regardless of your opinion of the Chinese (or other) government(s), that doesn't mean that the normal people from there are responsible for that, nor do they automatically support said actions.
Here’s what proves intelligence isn’t a stat, it’s a million stats, you have door opening intelligence, you have spelling intelligence, you have math intelligence, you have … *I could continue* intelligence… people are only fluent in a few.
@@blackdaddy9762 yes but what about this provides that as a possible reply?
I have a million dinosaur names intelligence… and I am trying to get coding intelligence, the good types in other words.
I'm terrible at door opening intelligence 😞
But I love me some dinosaurs ^_^
(And sociolinguistics, animal behavior studies, and folklore).
But seriously. I can never quite master opening the door before walking into it. Gotta get that timing down...
@@grasshopperjohnson184 *how many dinosaurs do you know… I know around 700…*
Oh, and I’m a massive fan of animal behaviors and folklore, don’t know anything bout that first one though, wait no I do, kind of.
@King Ammonite the absolutely terrifying, yay a fellow nerd!
Here's where I disappoint you though. By name/sight I can only really name 5 or so dinosaurs off the top of my head. My favorite currently is the baryonyx but this has much to do with their more recent very colorful and feathered depictions. They remind me of hairy bush vipers.
Sociolinguistics boils down to the study of language dynamics and how those interact with society/culture/ethnicities/dialects, etc. I'm mostly interested in languages in contact (e.g. what happens when there are two or more languages are spoken in one region). Also code-switching as a concept is fun, and I fall into it a lot. It's a problem that I've learned to embrace lol.
What kind of folklore do you like?
@@grasshopperjohnson184
Folklore I like? Everything, from the common criptid to the old myths of vampires and dragons, wolves causing issues in villages supposed to be werewolves, people accused of being hyenas, witches and witchcraft, mokele mbembe, giant elephant snakes of the savannas which hoard gold and more.
As for how many dinosaurs I can name, I can name quite a few, being bad at numbers I’ll just list all I can name off the top of my head:
Baryonix
Tyrannosaurs
Metriacanthosaurus
Giganotosaurus
Carcharodontosaurus
Albertosaurus
Tarbosaurus
Argentinosaurus
Brachiosaurus
Utahraptor
Achillobator
Velociraptor
Troodon
Archaeopteryx
Microraptor
Dilophosaurus (favorite of mine)
Guanlong
Dracovenator
Australovenator
Ichthovenator
Parasaurolophus
Corythosaurus
Dilong
Alioramus
Triceratops
Avaceratops
Pachycephalosaurus
Dracorex
Stygimoloch
Einioceratops
Spinosaurus
Suchomimus
Gallimimus
Archeornithomimus
Micropachycephalosaurus
Protoceratops
Styracosaurus
Pentaceratops
Deinonychus
Vulcanodon
Camarasaurus
Pegomastax
Dryosaurus
Hypsilophodon
Heterodontosaurus
Olorotitan
Iguanodon
Camptosaurus (now it’s a different creature and the name changed from what I remember but can’t remember the new name)
Latenivenatrix
Dakotaraptor
Gojirasaurus (yes, Godzilla is real now, just nowhere as big and not standing upright and dead during the Triassic)
Riojasaurus
Europasaurus
Uhh… that’s all I can think of on a moment’s notice, but I am aware of good 700 or so existing known dinosaurs, and that’s just the dinosaurs.
My senior (M) was posted once while I protested about wrongly taught Game Design university cirriculum that he had regretted I would make juniors having to play board games for it.
It's half right: they still had to play them, but they're definitely enjoying it, and had made good games unlike him.
For me, who's still self learning it to this day, I'm designing board games as a hobby.
I graduated high school that's when I gave up humiliating other people. This is what kids do once we are adults this should be avoided. Respect works
I am the 1000th viewer it's not much but I feel like god
praise caidengaming 07
Meh, try being the 1000000. That means your the first to be 1 in a million
As you should
About the bagel one (around 8:52), bagels are boiled and then baked. This is because baking it immediately makes it expand more and it looks less appetizing aswell because it's not shiny. There's a short on TH-cam explaining this.
Friend of mine bought me a Queen “We will Rock You” clock. A months later she and I were talking on the phone, and she says “your Beatles clock looks great” my response “Ah yes, the famous BEATLES song ‘We Will Rock You’” 😂
I work in a factory that makes electric motors, and an automatic forming press I needed to do my job was going out. I would constantly call maintenance to come look at it, but as I was the only one who really cared about getting it fixed, I was treated as being hysterical and kind of ignored.
Finally, a third shift maintenance worker had come in early and came to see what was wrong. He proceeded to talk to my supervisor as if I wasn't there, saying 'This is what happens when you mess with settings without knowing what you're doing'. He proceeds to mess with the settings and destroys the motor that was sitting in there waiting to be pressed, and snapped several major bolts in the press itself because of what he did, making the problem officially worse.
I told him 'This is what happens when you mess with settings without knowing what you're doing'.
Are people really that confused about the bagel question? Bagels are both boiled AND baked.
They first get boiled in a solution of water and malt syrup then get covered with whatever toppings they're being covered with, and then bake to completion. The boiling is what creates the thick outer crust.
Pretzels are somewhat similar, although instead of malt syrup, it's a lye solution.
Also, not quite the same thing, but one of the things that I absolutely love to say is that my favorite sandwich is a pizza, because TECHNICALLY Pizza is an open-faced sandwich, and this inevitably Sparks one of those stupid arguments where nobody is really that passionate, but it gets way more heated then it should be.
Everybody looks at you like you're dumb, but then some people think about it a little longer and agree with you, and now everybody collectively thinks the other person is dumb
Years ago, had a funny incident in a super Walmart 🛒. I went to stand in line at a side cashier, check out & was behind a rude obnoxious guy who called me chubby, fat. I let it slide but then glanced down & saw the %=÷× drop about $60.00 cash by his feet. 🤑🤑🤑 I saw the $ & acted very concerned, said; oh sorry sir please go ahead.... I stood on top of the $ and waited a minute for him to leave. I scooped up the $60 & walked off. The funny part was a kid by the guy saw the money fall on the floor.
Karma is kostly. :)
15:40 correction, people don’t EVER read signs. Not even that they don’t read them right.
I have had to take tongs away because I have “Not yet ready” signs on the hot dog rollers. I’m on my fourth person who decided to use his bare hands to get the one not ready dog he wanted and I had to throw all of them away.
I’m a uni student in the physics department and the first four classes I took were taught by the head of the department himself.
I was at a school networking mixer and this random person I never met was bragging he had the highest marks just generally running his mouth while I smiled and nodded cuz social anxiety. The head of our department walked up and this guy greets him by his first name while I say “hello, Dr._____” the other guy got the ‘who are you’ look and I ended up having a 20 minute conversation with him about my future plans.
That doesn't have to do with being dumb though.
9:00 bagels are boiled and then baked. Soft pretzels are also boiled prior to baking. It makes the skin more chewy. The liquid has either lye or baking soda in it to cause this chemical change. There is a version of bagels sold in the US that is not boiled but they have a gummy texture but are otherwise very soft. They became popular in the late 1990s. When people who grew up in NYC or other areas with traditional bagels had them they loudly stated that they were not REAL bagels, for obvious reasons. Took me years to have the real thing. I ended up making them myself and was wowed by how much better they are.
One of my favorite.. I have a neighbor who is just out of high school and still finding her way. Good kid overall.
There are days🤦
She came down screaming and yelling at me (for who knew what at that time I couldn't understand her)
After 5 mins of her going off I ask her to explain in normal tone.
She can't find her lanyard with her house keys on it.
It's been missing for a few days, ever since she went to CA to visit her mother. Not at moms place she, she asked. Called greyhound...nope...checked with the neighbors who have the other key to watch the pets...nope.
I kep quiet until she was done.
Did I mention she isn't the smartest lightbulb? As she walked right by the lanyard and was looking at it?
Someone in my class mentioned that they got bit by a lizard over the weekend and this other kid said they needed to get checked for rabies just in case. They just refused to believe that it’s not possible for a lizard to get a disease only mammals can get.
To be fair, half of these can be explained by the person having a shitty day
Story, so to lighten up the mood of my household I often play dumb/childish, but one day my older brother that is in his 20s place some rat traps in the well house right in front of the door, I go in there a lot to turn on/off the water hoses (this was a time i needed to turn one on and nobody told me that my brother put them in there) so in the dark room having no need to look down I step in one, thankfully a thick piece of rubber meant to take my boots off caught it and I didn't get hurt. So when my brother was about to leave I asked him the next time he set the traps in the well house to not put them in front of the doorway, he looks and asks "do you have eyes" and laughs then I say "sorry I don't look down everywhere I go, but at least I have the common sense to not put rat traps where people walk, unlike someone close to being twice my age" we were in the living room and everyone in the house was there and laughing at him.
I work retail: spent 5 minutes with my manager trying to convince a guy that $3.80 is less than $4. And is not in fact more, which is what he was trying to claim.
The issue was he wasn't reading the correct part of the receipt, which is understandable. The receipt shows you 1. The original price. 2. The amount being taken off and 3. What you paid. Which we explain to customers all the time, but when we told the guy he paid $3.80 per item which was actually less than the half price of $4 (he had a senior discount so extra 10%) he started getting angry saying we were ripping him off because they weren't $4, and we charged him more. Eventually it clicked and he just got really quiet said sorry and left quickly. I imagine it was a sobering moment for him and he had a lot of thinking to do and questioning his life and mental capacity (when you get older your brain starts to go a bit and I think that's what hit him). I hope he's doing alright.
The seasons thing seems really backward, because the Earth is tilted whether it’s closer or farther from the Sun
When you spin a top and then push it so it moves in a circle, the tilt of the spin doesn't maintain the same orientation to the center of the circle. Instead, it rotates at the same rate as the "orbit", keeping it's direction "stable". So, looking at one hemisphere, the tilt is towards the sun during the "first" half of the orbit (first or second is arbitrary) and away from the sun during the "second" half. And for the opposite hemisphere, it's away from the sun during the "first" half and towards it during the "second" half. Only, of course "towards" and "away" gradually shift from one to the other, which is why spring and fall are intermediate seasons to the more extreme winter and summer.
As for why the tilt makes more difference than the distance from the sun, it's because hours of daylight heat the earth and hours of night allow it to cool off. And when you have thousands of hours of continuous heating (arctic summer, with continuous sunshine)and thousands of hours of continuous cooling (arctic winter, with no sun at all), it's irrelevant weather the sun is closer or further during which of those intervals: being further away when it's not even above the horizon can't possibly have any effect.
At the equator, where there's no practical tilt at all, there's also not much change of "seasons"; what little there is is caused primarily by the spillover from further latitudes being warmed or cooled unevenly. IF we had a really eccentric orbit, rather than one that was close to circular, that would have more impact - but still only in equatorial regions, because for any planet with habitable temperature ranges, hours of heating are always going to matter more than temperature of the "oven".
TL;dr: Play with spinning tops. Note what the axis does and does not do.
College acquaintance. Miserable speller. Terrible speller. Some spellcheckers were just coming around and they installed one on their computer to help them quit getting marked down for their horrendous spelling. However the program could be 'taught' how to respond and give forth with a spelling for a word. So they would force their miserable spelling onto the program and in a few weeks it was so corrupted as to be unusable. (we had a discussion one night about the spelling of 'label'... they insisted then DEMANDED that it was 'lable' and were screaming at me, and I quietly said 'yelling at me isn't going to change the fact that label is spelled l-a-b-e-l' .... So after about the fourth pass of them corrupting up their spell checker, a group of us intervened. The program was wiped and reinstalled AGAIN. Then some serious evening time was spent feeding it new words and giving it an extensive vocabulary of correctly spelled words. THEN the program was locked down. The 'learn' function password protected. They screamed, they wept, they swore, but the spellchecker then worked so they could garner enough points to pass.
1:12 I'm actually shocked at this, because normally people like this will try and then blame you after you warn them. But she didn't she just left in a rage. Like most terrible people will never admit to being wrong.
In reference to the story at 3:30, does anyone else think that it’s possible these people are so ‘book smart’, having had their past 10+ years studying and reading and studying more, that they lose out on their ‘street smarts’ or some of their common sense? I’m not trying to make fun of them or belittle them, but I just thought of this as I was listening to that particular story.
Had a English teacher (I'm from Brazil) tell us "You guys don't know this word" It was written 'shall' and she read "shell" and proceeded to explain what it was.
I turn to some of my classmates and say: "Isn't shall? like YOU SHALL NOT PASS", Teacher was hearing and said, "no, it's shell"!
After she turned her back, me and my classmates silently agreed that its shall and laugh it out.
Don't know if she's saying it wrong up to this day.
5:13 If you can't explain why you're right, consider that you may be wrong. Either way, your education is nothing to brag about because either you're wrong or you don't know it well enough to explain.
Everyone around me treated me like I was an idiot until I got an Engineer degree with top score all the way plus a well paided job as a junior. Now with a good looking wife 2 boys and a house with an epic mancave. Now they suddenly became very humble around me 😅🤣😂
I wrote "Sugar" on my hand one day at school cus my dad wanted me to get some on the way home, got bullied for spelling it "wrong" and Im like, bro are you dumb
One time my manager called me because she couldn't get the printer to work; she and her boss had been trying for ten minutes. I walked into her office, saw that the printer was plugged in and the socket was turned on, but the printer "on" light was off. I turned it on and left.
I didn't mean to embarrass either of them in front of the other, but I didn't get a pay rise for the next four years.
9:55 I get it, dealing with idiots is exhausting, not necessarily their fault but still exhausting
The one with, '300 but only 3 mistakes' I wouldn't have came back to the job.
Bagels are first boiled, then baked (traditionally in a wood fired oven). Most commercial bagel producers just bake them, so they turn out too dense and pasty, not crispy enough. Everyone was half right.
I appreciated the "My Cousin Vinny" after the woman who knew cars. Love that movie, and that is a great scene.
When some neckbeard says he knows more about cooking than I do when I went to culinary school with 13+ years in the restaurant business. 'Fancy' to these katana-wielding excuses for humans is adding extra shredded cheese to a Hot Pocket.
8:59 bagels are boiled for 30-60 seconds before being baked; this process is what gives them a chewy crust and dense inner mass (source: Google)
In all honesty the computer science guy is fair, a lot of people assume they know enough about computers to have these conversations and stare at me blankly when I start bringing up anything more complicated than an OR function, then again I did arduino and C++ my dad was the one who did actual computer work.
But seriously the computer literacy of the average person is terrifying, I dont know as much as I think a lamen should and im still the one who shows people how to solve super simple issues
Wikipedia on bagel “A bagel…..is a bread product originating in the Jewish communities of Poland. It is traditionally shaped by hand into the form of a ring ….that is first boiled for a short time in water and then baked.” So yeah it’s both boiled and then baked
Remember going to a Marriott hotel, man their pillows were crap, your head would just... SINK, I fell asleep at 1 am, and bonus paying $109 will not get you a microwave. :D
7:00 fun fact, every now and again the earth suddenly decides to spin backwards, and changes poles and the earth is knocked off its axis a billionth of a centimeter a year. I believe if my memory serves me, that earth changes poles every 2,000 years, and the earth changes the direction it spins every billion years. Not sure when we will expect the next pole change, but according to the fact that I read about the last time it changed, but don’t remember, it’s going to be soon. But for better fact checking, please research this yourself and feel free to leave a comment with any corrections.
Just so you know teachers talk and most likely the maths teacher knew what the science teacher was covering that day staged the little argument as a way of aiding the kids up take of the previous class, When it's a frequently recurring question on end of term or national competency tests this little trick will help the kids store and recall that lesson.
I had a customer come in a few years ago and at the time I had been working at this store for about 3 years and he asked for a phone from a phone company we don't sell and haven't sold in about 2 1/2-3 years and he goes off on me telling me he just bought his gf/wife a phone here for that company and around that time his gf/wife walks up having not really been listening at all instead just wondering around and he turns to her and asks "babe when did I buy you that phone" and while she's still looking around and distracted says "about 3 years ago" he turns around to me and I have my most innocent smile on my face and asks "I'm sorry I didn't hear her what did she say?" He says about 3 years and walks off
In The story from the lifeguard, the kid couldn't needany help making her look bad.
_"I miss when the algorithm was based off the current video rather than other videos you've seen"_
💯
"Welcome" is not a college level word. I'm pretty sure I was able to read and write it before kindergarten.
I was telling a guy that the moon landing was fake and he found it so funny he had to call his best friend.
Best friend tells him that he wrote his college thesis on the topic and firmly feels the same way..best friend got a B+ 😂😂 the look on his face was priceless.
I always try to keep my introverted side unless I trust those people enough, so I just blend in at first pretending to just follow along, until I get close with those I truly resonate with. So that included me NOT EVEN SHOWING MY FULLEST POTENTIAL BECAUSE I ALSO DON’T WANT TO COME OFF ARROGANT OR UNINTENTIONALLY running over others mentally. *I haven’t found a trusted person in this group, especially I’m judged for no reason, for just being the other side of myself that I’m showing on, that I’m weird, and all other negative comments. WE HAD BEEN TOLD TO PLAY A WORD GAME, WHERE WE QUICKLY PASS ON STORIES TO STORIES, for example I told the next person AND SHE WENT TO THE CABIN DOOR AND DROPPED the next person will answer HER KUNGFU PANDA CONDOMS AND DID THE UNTHINKABLE, SHE ACTUALLY then the next person will think of a continues* I HAD TO ANSWER QUICK for my teams, because there was a green and maroon team, I was part of the maroon team, color who gets left winning will be a win for all his or her team. So I won it for my team, everyone was just like silent. Anyway, incase you’re wondering, I left that group, because of their toxicity, it was one of the smartest decision I’ve made, because after I left, I saw more dramas on their social medias where everyone started to catch each other backstabbing one another, I even heard that 5 of them got scammed by another member.
This was back in 7th grade, and I live in Australia. But I’m born in November and said I was born in a spring month. For twenty odd minutes everyone (including the teacher) was telling me I was wrong and that November was a summer month. It got me so confused that I still don’t know which months belong to which season but I’m born in spring!
Props to the teacher who searched and corrected himself. Sounds like my high school bio teacher, sense of humor and took joking as a serious business. Lol I miss your classes Mr. S.
I am a team leader of my department, I had last two counterparts on other shifts get onto me because of my reports. I didn't argue my case as I don't answer to them but to our boss. Well, now this week I am on another shift training their 3rd Team Leader since I've been TL on my shift how to do the reports. Our boss asked me to do it because I know how to do the reports more than anyone else and wanted me to train the new guy correctly. Which is why our boss requested me to be trainer instead of the former (2nd) Team leader. Yeah... neither knew how to really do the reports but honestly were trying to deflect blame and try to appear they were better at the job than me... didn't work out too well..
For some reason people are stupid about water.
I tell my worker we need ice
“Uh we don’t have ice I thought you knew that”
I tell him just put some water bottles in the freezer (this was Afghanistan)
“That’s just frozen water, not ice, I think I need to talk to someone about you,, you should t be able to tell people what to do”
He got sooooo much god damn trouble when I let him email the man in charge of all cooks.
Also had to prove that frozen water weighs the exact same and room temp.
Like he had a college degree
Pretending to be dumb actually gives alot of opportunities to read people's intention since it gives people leverage. In other words thier own power rising will be thier downfall. The story of horse of Athena is a excellent example. It is how I beat 6 people in monopoly. I had the most leverage mid game while giving off the impression I had none. I literally picked the winners from just that move and I picked the weakest winners so I could win against them.
Anyone else catch the “my cousin vinny” reference
Had to listen to it a couple times because it sounded familiar but I caught it. Then came to comments to see if anyone else did.
You are awesome
Retail is hell. I have had someone freak out at me because they saw the total on the receipt and thought they were charged all of it on their card despite giving me cash. I pointed to the part of the receipt that says “Cash 10” and that it doesn’t give you a total that you paid on the card. I had to ask him to please stand aside while he checks his bank so I could take the other customers. He then just left when he realized I was right and his bank verified it.
The doctor story is proof positive that being highly educated is not the same as being smart.
Oh my god. The comment on being a cashier is so relatable. As a cashier I sold a man a zucchini that he insisted was a cucumber. He yelled at me and called me a stupid kid (at the time 18) put it through as what he wanted. Came back an hour latter with his wife. Got to watch her call him an idiot in produce wile pointing at the labels.
When someone insults you just act like you didn’t hear them and ask them to repeat themselves. Totally kills it.
I like the combination of the swear filter and the person typo-ing "shut" as "shit" resulting in the phrase "that crap him up"
The pizzas: cost $5.99 each.
Karen: $5 + $5 = $10!
OP: You forgot the other $1.98.
Karen: You're an idiot!
OP: .__.
Karen: thinks she's won and leaves without her food.
OP: pulls out reverse uno card. Smirks cos they got free pizza.
TIL Yam vs sweet potato
To be fair to math teacher, I was thought in school that during winter Earth was farther from the Sun. I remember questioning it, because we were also thought that while it is winter here, it's summer in southern hemisphere. And for the longest time i didn't know which one is true,
Once you leave earth's atmosphere, space is COLD. So heat doesn't travel from the sun in the way we think.
I used the word "voluminous" in grade 9 and a bunch of boys assumed I meant "voluptuous" and bullied me for about 3 days, despite me repeatedly telling them that they're different words with different meanings. They got made fun of for that more than I did lol.
I have a deck of cards for resonces to situations and I find myself throwing down "play dumb" card so much it's like second nature.
A classmate tried to convince me that the Airbus A380 wasn't called that, but that it was called "emirates".
Poor girl probably had no idea i was watching a crapton of "air crash investigation" episodes at the time and that i was very interested in aviation, Emirates wasn't the name of plane (obviously) it was the name of the airline that owned the A380s, i tried explaining to her that it was "A380" and that it was built by airbus, then sold to various airlines including Emirates and that it was written there so that people knew what airline it was owned by, after explaining she just said "well, i still believe it is called emirates"
That just about made me want to smash my head on the ground, to all the aviation lovers reading this, i feel your pain and i want a vaccine just as bad as you
I gotta assume that those parents who ignore or defy safety rules can't stand their kids and want to get rid of them by arranging an "accident." It's less that you're questioning their parenting and more that you're stopping them from getting rid of their insufferable crotchfruit and/or getting the life insurance money.
Boiled Bagels just ruined my day LOLOLOL
I play dumb with my roommate because it’s the easiest way for me to get away from him. He always wants to talk about himself and his problems and cuts you off in the mind of every sentence so I play dumb to avoid him. I just can’t bare another conversation about how I’m tired of being cut only for him to cut me off in the middle of the sentence.
When that one guy bragged about HTML I laughed out loud.
21:20
LOL so he's building a website basically, but couldn't possibly explain that
10:23 My older sister and I had caught a whole bunch of crawdads and she insisted we put them in their own paper cups to "keep them from fighting". They were very much alive but Dad said this one looks dead. We assured him they were all very much alive. He pokes at the "dead" one and it grabbed his finger so firmly he left a good bit of blood at the scene. Sorry I laughed so hard Dad but it really was funny.
bagels are baked, but they have to proof, and to do that you have to boil them first for a few minutes.