What’s Your Funniest Go-to Story That Is Most Often Requested by Your Friends?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ม.ค. 2022
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when i worked in fast food i went to give this guy his food and my brain got stuck between saying "there you go!" and "have a nice day!" and i wound up saying,,, to this man's face,,,, in the Deep South,,,, "there, you're gay!"
I could imagine his face, just confusion and .____.
This gave me a good chuckle 🤣
Gold
I used to mix up "Have a good day" and "Have a good night" into "Have a good dight" or "Have a good nay". Eventually switched to "Have a good one."
My mind defaults to have a good morning, doesn't matter if its afternoon or night, and is always awkward
I gotta do mine, my girlfriend loves this one:
So back in like maybe 5-6th grade I lived in a condo complex. One morning I wake up, it’s a beautiful spring morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, there isn’t a cloud in the sky. I go downstairs, put on my sandals, walk into the garage, hop on my bike, open the door and start pedaling out into the crisp spring air. I got like 3 laps around the neighborhood just at peace with the universe enjoying the lovely breeze without a care in the world. Then on my 3rd pass by the house my mom comes running out: “DAN, COME BACK!”
“WHY MOM?”
“YOU AREN’T WEARING ANY PANTS!”
“Oh…I was wondering why there was such a nice cool breeze today.”
And I rode back in and got dressed.
Meanwhile from my poor mother’s prospective, she woke up to her kid missing only to find him riding around the neighborhood in his tightly whities.
🤣🤣🤣omg I'm dying laughing at this cuz I've got a really vivid imagination 😂
It was funny. I'm sure when DAN was telling this story to his girlfriend he was still not wearing his pants.
Summary of the story. Almost drowned, fell out of a tree and made my friends think that i was dead. Met a guy by a bonfire who turned out to be a flutist in a heavy metal band. (all while incredibly drunk)
I’m sorry.
A flutist… for a metal band? I would love to hear that lol
@@TheEmeraldMenOfficial i can try to find it 🤣 this was almost a decade ago
Let me guess...the band's called eluvite?
The time I picked up a hitch-hiker and spent 2 days getting her to a bus station so she could get home.
I call this one "The Football Story", my friends absolutely love to talk about this story and I frequently tell it on request, whether its for the sake of hearing it, or to tell new people we've met.
Basically, you know how schools have a lot of festivals and whatnot when the end of the school year approaches? Well, not festivals but just overall they go above and beyond when the end of the school year approaches? Well, that was the case for me, this was towards the end of 7th grade, and our P.E. teacher wanted us to do a football game in a field that was absolutely massive. It wasn't as big as one (at least I don't think) so playing football in that field was absolutely feasible. Anyway, it was towards the end of the game and I get the football tossed at me. I have this moment where I register "Oh, I'm holding it..." and suddenly, I hear this aggressive stomping towards me. I look and I see a horde of 7th and 8th graders barrelling towards me. (since our classes were so close we were basically treated more as "students A" and "students B") Understandably, I ran in the opposite direction towards the goal.
The best way I can describe how it looked is the stampede scene in Lion King. Before I knew it, I felt a student grab my leg. Yet...That didn't stop me. I basically continued running like a mad man while another teenager was holding onto me like a cartoon. Then another student grabbed me and I _still kept going._
Next thing I knew, there were 7 students on me and I was pulling them all like a train. And I won the game for my team.
Believe me or not, I know the truth and that's one of the biggest highlights of my life.
If I was in your shoes, I’d shit myself as I’m running.
@@beastmaster0934 defense mechanism
This happened a few days after my grandma died, when the phone in my house was ringing off the hook because my dad was calling people to give them the news and people were calling my dad to express condolences. The day before the funeral, my sister was visiting us with her kids. The phone rang, and for some reason, my 6 year old nephew picked it up. He goes "hello?" and I could hear the person on the other end. They said "oh hi, Adrian. Can I please speak with your granddad?" (my dad). I expected him to hand me the phone and say "give this to granddad," but instead, he just looked confused for a second. I couldn't believe my ears when he replied "you don't need *my* permission." And then he hung up!
Ohhh my heck 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not mine but my father-in-law's. It's long but it's worth it. When he was a kid his family were dirt poor tobacco farmers. Once a week they would hook a radio up to a car battery and listen to The Grand Ole Opry on the front porch. Neighbors would come from all around. One neighbor rode a cow like it was a horse. They had no refrigeration so when the pumpkins got ripe his mom baked like 20 pumpkin pies, which were all over the kitchen. They noticed that guy who rode the cow was missing, although his cow was still there. His mom went into the house and discovered that guy finishing off his second pumpkin pie. She yelled at him. He replied that he didn''t know what she was so upset about, they weren't even that good. She went after him with a broom. He ran outside and hoped on his cow, but, you know, cows are not very fast. She followed him down the road beating him with the broom for a considerable distance while everyone watched and laughed.
But the story isn't over. He told this story many times over the years. One of his friends didn't believe it. That friend showed up to a Halloween party dressed a as giant beer can. My father-in-law's mom was also at the party. This guy cornered her and asked her about the story, thinking he could prove it was all made up. She got so mad just remembering this incident that had happened 50 years earlier that she started beating THAT guy with her cane and dented his costume.
When I was around 3 years old my parents bought me an elaborate cowboy outfit with fringe and little guns in holsters. I wanted to wear it to church and they said no. Their game plan was to keep me naked up till the last moment so I wouldn't get my Sunday clothes messed up. So when they weren't looking I walked out the door buck-ass neckid except for my new cowboy boots and I walked to church. It was only a couple of blocks away. The organist was there going over a couple of songs early and I walked up to watch her play. She called my parents. So everybody thinks it's hilarious that I went to church naked.
Sometime near the end of my Junior year of high school, the class would split up and start doing whatever. One of my friends got a card game called Unstable Unicorns. The main objective of the game was to be the first person to collect seven unicorn cards on their side of the field. This game had special cards with effects ranging from having every player discard their hand and draw new cards to forcing a player to show their hand the entire game. There was one card I used to my advantage, that turned my unicorns into pandas. It was impossible for me to win since pandas are useless, but that also meant I was immune to every card that targeted unicorns, simply because I technically had none.
Anyway, one of my friends was absolutely destroying us in this game. VIctory was literally one turn away. He started showing off his hards at a spectator and later boasted that the only way he could lose was if someone played a card that said "He loses". Well, another spectator took a small piece of notebook paper and wrote those words and randomly played it in between a turn. The table laughed it off and kept playing. Turns out that fabricated card was no laughing matter as it somehow manifested and after a few turns, the poor guy ended up falling apart. He went from dominating every player in the game to ending dead last in short time. We bring up the fake card every now and then whenever he gets cocky at a card game.
The story about the guy having stomach issues at circle K reminds me somewhat of my own story. So my brother, my sister, and my sister's now husband and I went on a road trip together to Northwest Washington and we also saw that eclipse back in 2017 at totality in Oregon. So we watched the total eclipse at grocery store parking lot in a small town with a bunch of other people with the same idea. Well, my idiot self decided to drink a bunch of water while we waited for the eclipse (I'm talking 2 full 30 oz cups of water, both basically chugged). Well on our way back from watching the eclipse, I obviously ended up needing to pee. And I mean I NEEDED to go. I was legit in pain and contemplating just going "screw it" and peeing in a bush because we are deep in bumper-to-bumper traffic with no end or bathroom in sight. My brother is trying to find some kind of back road or something, but even those are backed up (people REALLY wanted to see this eclipse). Well, eventually, we were driving slowly through a small neighborhood (because traffic) and this one house had a sign where they were selling beer to passing cars for like $5. Well, we pull up and almost beg them, saying that we'll pay them $5 if we can use their bathroom real quick. They're awesome enough to not take us up on that and just let me awkwardly shuffle my way to their downstairs bathroom. I am finally relieved and as I'm leaving the woman at the house (I assume she's the mom) asks if I need anything or if I'd like some water before I go. I end up giggling and politely saying "no thank you, water is what got me into this mess". I thank her profusely for letting a total stranger use her bathroom. I remember her name was Nancy. I hope Nancy gets the absolute best in life. She deserves it!
The involved friend and our families love this story: The time I wore a panda suit in Ibiza.
My friend and I went to Ibiza with her parents. Our hotel had this competition where the winner would get a free drink at the bar and the loser had to wear a panda suit to entertain the kids during the evening show (later learned they rarely did this, idk why they did it then). My friend and I joined the competition, I got third place and she got second to last place. The person in last place was a child and didn’t fit in the suit, so the organizers tried to get my friend for the role. She didn’t wanna do it but I thought it was fun, so I told her “You know what, I’ll get in the suit tonight if you go in the suit tomorrow”. My friend agreed and the organizers were happy that they finally got someone in the panda suit.
My friend and I went backstage after dinner, where I got suited up. It looked fucking hilarious on me, my friend and I did a little photoshoot beforehand. The suit was designed in a way that I could only look down, so an organizer had to guide me on stage. I got on stage and waved hello to the children. Got plopped down on the stairs for a photo op. Two children were playing with my hands and one placed a unicorn plushie on my head, I just went along with it. After the photos were taken it was time for panda me to “go to bed”, at which point I was suddenly put in a massive group hug (That was the most adorable moment of my life, the hug was fucking pure). I waved the kids goodbye, went backstage, took the panda suit off and joined the audience for the rest of the show.
I still have the pictures of me in that suit. And if you are wondering, my friend never wore the panda suit. She avoided the organizers like the plague for the rest of our stay (which wasn’t that long).
I got the chance to meet Brad Williams (a dwarf stand-up comic for those unaware, and for those who are, yes he was cute it brightenedup my day) at a meet and greet after one of his shows. He was facing the other way as the people in front of me were leaving and as he turns around to greet me and my dad his jaw drops as he sees me and says "you look like a tall me." He was so excited, he had to tell his opener in the middle of the other guy talking to someone "look, it's me without dwarfism." When he called me "tall," I'm 5'3". Best part, the next summer, we saw him in Vegas (I live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania) and he remembered us. If I was ever starstruck over meeting someone, that was it.
"I'M SO TINY!" oh my god i'm dead.
One time at work, i was alone in my Office and thought, i could Pass some Gas and nobody will notice, right after i did so, my boss came in, took some documents, opened the window and left without a Word. Not only was it awkward as hell, she was also an extremely beautiful woman and i just wanted to disappear for good.
This certainly isn’t my funniest story, but when I was in eighth grade, I was a library aide, meaning that I shelved books and did stuff around the library. That’s beside the point, but I just thought you might need a little context. On the walls of the library were posters (some of which we had to take down and replace). There was this one poster that was on a lode-bearing beam in the library. It listed all of the previous presidents, but wasn’t up to date, so it excluded Joe Biden. For whatever reason, the librarian manually attached a picture of Joe Biden. I thought it would be funny if I made a president of my own to tape on as a joke. I drew the “Monke” meme and put it up on the poster, right after Joe Biden. After a week or so, I went to check on it to see if the librarian had taken it down or if it had fallen. I wasn’t expecting to see that a kid had peeled it off and taped it back onto the poster, but this time, it covered Barack Obama. 💀
in 2016, my friend was doing the mannequin challenge. While he was sitting still with his mouth open, my other friend walked in front of him and farted in his face, making the other friend let out a loud "AW-"
I've got a funny story. So, background info first. I am a very big lady with a big butt. This is relevant to the story. So, a few years ago, I was visiting my family and we went to a party for one of my cousins. There were lots of kids there running around. At one point, when I was standing at the buffet table getting something to eat, of of the little shits runs full tilt into me, bounces off my ass, and goes flying backward to skid across the floor like a shuffleboard weight. It was all I could do to keep from laughing my head off.
Not requested by my friends, but my mom usually tells it by my request.
This was back in the early 2010s when I was still in elementary school. I was getting ready to fall asleep, and my mom had just tucked me in. A few seconds after she leaves my bedroom; my older brother comes strolling in with a fucking ukulele. He decided to interrupt my young kid sleepytime and he chose to try and piss me off. He said that he wanted to sing a song for me, he strummed just one very god awful note, and I immediately just yelled at him. The best/worst part was that my mom didn't help me because she knew that it was gonna be hilarious; and it really was for her. It wasn't funny to me at the time; but it's fucking hilarious now, I was literally just cracking up while typing this out.
I was helping my mom clean up the fake Christmas tree to put away and we only had the stand left to disassemble. It's three prongs pushed into a circular base, anyways we get all the prongs out except for one, which is jammed in REALLY good. So after tugging a lot and getting nowhere my mom and I decide to pull in opposite directions, me pulling up and her pulling down. We do that and the piece finally comes free, so suddenly that I end up decking myself in the face. It was lucky that it came loose and didn't snap off. My mom says she'll use a hammer next time.
Regarding the "Circle K story", I would've ran back inside, and crapped right on the floor, in front of the clerk who denied me access to the bathroom. Or at the very least, let loose right in the entrance to the store. Either outside or inside.
Make the piece of shit clean his family off the floor. GG
I was looking at a few preschool things about a year ago, there was 2 'About me' pages (I did 2 years of preschool) and some of the stuff 3-4 me wrote made everyone in my house laugh so much.
A few example:
When I grow up, I would like to marry 'The ice cream man' and 'my parents'
When I grow up I would like to be 'Brazil'
Hmm that circle K story sounds all too familiar.. until recently i was the assistant manager at a circle K and we had someone take a dump right behind our store a few months back.. And we have a redbox...
Heh.
Well then, I hope you learned that sometimes when people say they're having a bathroom emergency, they really ARE having a bathroom emergency. It's frankly much easier to let the toilet do its job and not the weather or some water hose do it instead. Saves people a lot of embarrassment.
@@girl1213 lol im dying rn. Thankfully it wasnt me im an asshole but not that big enough of one to tell them no they cant use our bathroom. Even if it were employees only. When u gotta go u gotta
I go-to funny story was when I was babysitting and the 14 year old could not figure out for the life of her why the TV wasn't working after she moved it from the bedroom to the living room. She had me come in, almost take the dang thing apart and I was close to throwing it out the window. Then, suddenly, she goes very still, flushes beet red and slowly holds up the unplugged power cord. That was 25 years ago and we still tell this story. The only thing that now caps that story is when I couldn't get my new car to start so I called a friend's husband to come give me a jump. He gets there and as a joke just opens the driver door to sit down a play-start the car as if I didn't know how to crank it. The moment he puts his hand on the ignition key, he frowns, pulls it ou, puts a different key in, and starts the car. Yall, I had used the wrong key and made this poor man drive two towns over to come get me. To my credit there are two keys for the car, and both look the same, but one is only for the door. The other has plastic on the top. I used the one for the door.
I was up in the middle of the night, doing nothing. I hear a deep squeak that I only hear when I rub against the sides of the bath, and I thought, “This is it, someone broke in, we’re all fucked.” I didn’t hear them walking, and after half an hour of holding my piss in, I couldn’t hold it in anymore so I went. Didn’t see anyone, had my piss and looked in the bath. Turns out the sound had come from a fucking spider that came in through the windows.
About 5 years ago, I worked customer service in a call centre. One very quiet Sunday morning, my friend, a rather large lad, was flirting with some of the girls around us, I was on a call. The words I caught from him were “I’m an endangered species, me.”
I muted myself, said “you’re too big to be endangered.” All the girls are giggling, I have to hold back since I have a customer on the line and my mate paused for a second before breaking down laughing to the point of tears.
Before anyone accuses me of fat-shaming or something, I’m a large guy too. Me and my mate were always playfully ragging on each other. It’s how we are.
"Ceremonial Queef Dance" - three words that were NOT on my 2024 bingo card.
12:02 the ice cream was really good💀💀💀
6th grade middle school, 5th period history class. Sitting next to people I've never been friends with. Drinking a smart water with the nipple tip to suck the water out. I'm chugging my water and the dude next to me squeezed it all in my mouth. So much that I couldn't swallow. Had to spit it all out/cough it all out onto the carpet. Teacher came over and scolded both of us. Thats how I met my best friend 10 years ago.
The story I slipped in the shower and my sister and her boyfriend hearing it… . That’s all
"Employees only"="I get the key to the bathroom or you need to call a hazmat team."
That time I ate trinidad scorpion and thought I'd die lol
Got me at. "Dumbass, she was talking to her kid not you."
Lol “ceremonial queef dance”💀💀💀💀💀
It’s not even stories. It’s just dreams I’ve had and stuff I’ve written when I was the biggest idiot in the Midwest that’s hilarious.
My sibling and I grabbed the Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book that I wrote when I was in the 3rd grade and for the upteenth millionth time we laughed until we cried.
My dad actually just heard about this one a few days ago. After two friends and I got done going for a smoke and cruise we got to my place. My mom was around and had been drinking wine. She asked us three if we were hungry. We all enthusiastically replied "yes!" After about 15 minutes I was called to the kitchen to retrieve our welcomed snack. It was, and I quote from my friend "the most burnt grilled cheese I'd ever seen." My mom must have gotten distracted while cooking them. I think anyone who has cooked after several glasses of wine could agree. The kicker, with each cooked to hell grilled cheese was accompanied by a single baby dill pickle. My friends always bring it up and have a good laugh after the kicker. Love you mom, even your burnt grilled cheese.
Warning. Don't listen to this while eating
No way! I read a bunch of these stories about two days ago!! I beat Em too it😂
25:43) I mean it’s understandable sometimes our brain just likes to fuck with us 🤣
28:05 professor loves controversy
ok, so this is one that I love to tell, this happened in high school, my mom was the manager at a Noodles n Company (which is a shitty pasta restaurant chain) and the restaurant that she worked at was across the street from my school so she had some of my classmates working there. Well, there was this one girl (lets call her Sam) who worked with her, I had a couple classes with her and my mom and Sam did not like each other at all. one day during my photography class, I was working on something and I over hear Sam talk about her job at Noodles, she was saying how much it sucks works there and how much of a bitch her manager was, saying all these nasty things about my mom (she didn't know I was her daughter at the time), so I go "hey Sam, which Noodles restaurant do you work at?" and she goes "oh, just the one across the street from the school." and I ask "what's the name of your manager?" and she says my mom's name, so I said "Oh, that's really funny, cus that's my mom's name and she just so happens to be the manager at that place." and oh the look of realization and pure horror on this girl's face, PRICELESS. she started to apologize profusely, she was so embarrassed. after school that day I told my mom what happened and she just died laughing, Sam was fired soon after that, my Mom was already planning on firing her anyway so I guess I gave her another reason to.
Circle K story had me dead lol
So , let me preface this by saying I was with a girl I had a mad crush on or I would have done things differently. We were out drinking the night before and we crashed at my place (nothing happened) because my car had been towed while we were in the bar. We wake up and decide to just walk to the impound lot because it was only a 45 minute walk. Part of the way I can feel the pressure starting build in my intestines. We are about half way there and it was like holding back a seltzer bottle of shit. So every few minutes I have to get a grip on things and stop to reign in the pressure in a little. I pretended to have a sore back and was stopping to ‘stretch it out’. There really wasn’t anywhere to stop so I just keep this charade going until we get to the car lot. We get the car out of impound for more money than the car was actually worth and drive away. Now that I’m sitting the pressure is easier to control but it also hurts more. So I continue with the ‘back stretches’ until I get her back home. She starts chatting about going out again that night and I’m desperately trying to show interest in going out again at the same time as my internal organs are starting to shut down. As soon as she shut the car door and I drove a block away I just full on shit my pants. Conservatively, at least 8 adult diapers worth. It was a choice between a ‘fairly controlled shit’ and a ‘spray all the surfaces in my car shit’. Got back to my apartment and just got in the shower fully clothed and hosed everything off before my sister came home. I rinsed everything out and put the clothes in the washer on hot and no one was the wiser. And that’s the story of how I managed to conceal my massive shit from this gorgeous girl. If it had been anyone else I would have just let’er rip at home before leaving. No one knows this story though…..
Why are like 30% of these stories about someone literally shitting all over entire rooms wtf.
Freshman year at band camp, it was raining heavily during lunch. Me and my cabin mates decided to be incredibly stupid and sand outside in the pouring rain. We went to our cabins after for rec time, and the only senior in our cabin decided to change into dry clothes. She also brought a heavy duty industrial fan, and decided to attach her bra to the end of the fan to dry it out. We spent 15 minutes watching this blue sports bra flapping in the wind and laughing. Best part was our cabin was decorated in pride flags.
16:00 - Oh… *cricket*
The staples paper to face story had me laughing so hard I cried
Anyone else hoped he'd bomb the floor of that Circle K right there?
Ceremonial queef dance. Had to take a minute off from work and loose my guts laughing
Oh god I can't even pick which one is the funniest
15:58 the secretary says, "Oh.
STATIC
Of course half these stories involve poop LMFAO
Thanks for the stories
Yay! New, great content! Never been this early. :)
That stink bug story had to come out of West Virginia. Just saying
1: when asked if I wanted to buy a raffle ticket to support children with cancer, I said that I don't think children should have cancer.
2: when watching the Christopher Reeves version of superman, an ex asked why the mother wasn't speaking and why only the dad spoke when Clark was sent to earth. I said that on krypton, women knew better than to talk while men were speaking because they're advanced.
3: the things I say when in conflicts get brought up by friends a lot. Like Bill Burr in Philly, level language.
As a Muslim man, if I said it’s a magical lightbulb. I would be detained free prostate exam. Check every look in cranny of my body and all that in the middle of the airport.
One time I was speeding down this back road with my friend in another car when a friend crashed. Sheriff came and none of us got arrested for mor my friend causing an accident doing 70+ In a 25. The cause of the accident was the car was in a state of disrepair and the shock literally bent in half causing the car to nearly flip into a creek. Also happened a second time too except it was in a different state and my friends were High as fuck on weed, we went down this bumpy ass road by the state police range. We did 65 in a 35 and then in a 25. Friend had his car towed and the weed taken away I drive them home and none of us got charged or arrested.
The time I peed my pants at work.
I have a ton of funny stories, this one isn't the funniest by far but it's what's at the front of my mind
right, so the school i went to was kind of semi-strict? i dont really have a good frame of reference seeing as it was the only school i ever went to and it also batshit insane but in a fun way, but there were uniforms, you weren't allowed to walk on the grass, and also no devices at school. no laptops no phones or pretty much anything that could be used to access the internet. it was only in my final year there after lockdown that they allowed us to bring devices, but before then, if you had a phone and they found out it would be confiscated and they would give it back afterschool
so this was in spanish class, the spanish teacher i had was this gigantic muscular african man with a thick accent, everyone was kinda scared of him because he was strict absolutely jacked but he could also be relaxed and funny too, it was kind of a gamble on what mood he was in, i guess. so anyways, we're in class doing work and idly chatting cuz most teachers dont care if you talk as long as u not too loud and finish your work in time. there was this strange device on the wall and someone asked what it was, teacher told us it was personal router (?) because the school wifi sucks bad. this one boy, Mallory, jokingly asks for the wifi password and we all laugh because, well duh, none of us should have any devices so we dont need the wifi passwords. teacher also laughs but then goes and starts half-heartedly/jokingly patting down Mallory's bag as if searching for a phone. this one other kid wasn't paying attention and asked what the teacher was doing, someone else said he was searching for the rubbers. the teacher stops and with the most over-the-top shocked expression shouts at the top of his heavily accented voice "MALLORY. YOU USING THE RUBBERS ALREADY!!!???" and everyone fucking lost it instantly, i cant even do it justice in words you had to hear how he said it
Mine is the story about the cows and the bus...
My dad done the same thing but outside but on mechanic Shop he said a report let it fly
My story is my ex husband, a friend of ours and I were 100% shitfaced on St. Patty's Day & got pulled over. Ex was driving, so he was pulled out of the car, and was given 3 field sobriety tests (Officer called for a Srgt. to do the test as he was unsure of the results.) So the Srgt. is putting ex thru the paces, & the officer is standing close to my passenger side door. I open the car door & the Officer takes a step forward, telling me to stay in the car & close the door. I promptly puke all over his nice & shiny shoes. My friend in the back seat is sweating bullets because he had a big bag of stinking bud on him.
None of us went to jail, & I've never touched tequila again
My uncle is the car shade demon
Who is Cliff Richard?
That's hilarious
This technically isn't even my story, but I still retell it ALL the time because for some reason it struck me as absolutely hilarious.
My friend's english class (I believe this was in our junior year) was a mostly civil place, but she had the misfortune of getting stuck next to one of the more typical obnoxious high school boys. This kid--we'll call him Ryden--was a bit unaware of his surroundings, doing things like leaning his chair into my friend's desk when he turned to talk to his friends or just generally getting in peoples' personal space without noticing. He also had a habit of flipping his hair back from his face in a needlessly dramatic and overexaggerated toss that made us wonder if he even had any bones in his neck. So anyways, my friend is sitting next to this nitwit, focused on the teacher's presentation, when Ryden decides his floppy hair is flopping too much into his eyes. He shakes his head a bit to loosen up his joints, leans forward, winds up the pitch, and tosses his head back in a perfect arch like he's in that scene from The Little Mermaid...
right into the bookshelf a foot behind his desk.
My friend didn't actually see the impact; she just watched his head fly out of her peripheral vision, heard a sudden "THWACK" reverberating through the air, and turned to see Ryden, scalp clutched in his hands, bent forward over his desk, whispering "ow, ow, ow, fuck, my head, ow, ow" over and over. At this point, my friend is shaking, staring holes into her desk and biting down on her lip as hard as possible to avoid bursting into laughter. The teacher, blissfully unaware of what has just occurred, continues talking as though nothing had happened. I can't remember if any of Ryden's friends saw the collision either--it very well may have been only my friend that even noticed what happened. Of course, she recounts this to me the second she gets out of class, and we just about fall to the floor, convulsing with laughter. For the next couple of weeks, I had to restrain myself from randomly entering a fit of hysteria because the image of Ryden's head sailing directly into a bookshelf kept popping into my mind.
The one about the broken toe during sex, I feel, I have a part on my back that jus tingles like crazy whenever it gets touched
wow
My one friend almost took a transgender woman to bed because he was drunk and if we didn't realize, he would have slept with her.
So?
@@LindsayW138 we found it funny and people love hearing the story.
Who the heck is cliff richards
Probably the most famous recording artist in the UK who isn't a Beatle.
In the military overseas deployment I "ate" a female co-worker who forgot to mention she had a yeast infection. I got sick the next day and had the runs for a week.
Damn that really sucks.
@@rebekahsearcy8986 Literally lol
These robot voices just take away all the fun !!!
Thank god for the comments having mildly funny stories because the video’s were literal 💩
First comment in two months
bro why do this much stories revolve around literal shit
Yesterday I ran into a kinda new neighbor who told me abt the most random thing that happened the other day
He had been outside moving a box inside when he heard a door slam and someone yelling "OH SHIET!!!" in the best Shrek voice he'd ever heard and then out of the blue a random bag of smoking burnt microwave popcorn came flying at him and hit him in the face.and he had yelled "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE POPCORN GODS HAVE BLESSED ME!!!!"
It took a second for me to relize that the exact same day and time he said I was making popcorn and getting ready to pull an all nighter and have a Shrek marathon and when I went to check my popcorn the microwave had filled with smoke and I burned the popcorn so I grabbed it yelled "OH SHIET!!!" in a Shrek voice and threw the bag as far as I could put my back door and then I hear someone yell "HOLLY FUCKING SHIT-" and i slammed the door out of fear
I CANT BREATHE
the second you add "and then everyone clapped", "and everyone started to laugh" or "and then everyone cheered", your story becomes immediately blatantly fake and not believable in the slightest.
i can't understand a chuckle or a high five but making a crowd think you have god-like powers of comedy who then become in awe of you? no one is stupid enough to buy that. if you're gonna tell a fake story, at least try to make it believable.
wow...that story got real racist real quick.
Too many graphic poop stories 🤢
the number of these "funny" stories involve disgusting crap stories speaks volumes about Reddit users. Disgusting, not funny
Why are so many Reddit stories about shit.
one time i caught a mouse and i put it in the toilet and i had to piss so i peed on the mouse and the mouse drowned.
That's horrid.
Dude, what the fuck?
@@beastmaster0934 I had to go bro
Sociopath.
The times I've driven from Ontario to Illinois to visit my bestie in prison.