How Does a Husband lead a home
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ธ.ค. 2020
- Not all husbands know how to lead the home. Sean gives some great points on how husband can lead their families.
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I’m a young husband and now father and I’m having trouble with the entire concept. The entire aspect of a servant leader gets very oxymoronic in a sense. Like for me, I live my life to protect,secure, & ensure prosperity in my family. I make all of my decisions based off how it will affect my family. So that means, I sacrifice a lot things that I desire, to ensure my wife & baby are happy. This is the “serve” part of leadership. Any of my wife desires, I don’t say “no”, I say how can I make it happen. The conflict occurs when I try to exercise the “lead” aspect of servant leadership. Many decisions or actions I ask my wife to do and support, she takes it as an option, and most of the time does the latter. Which usually produces consequences that I have to resolve myself… it’s like the more I serve her, the less credibility I have in making decisions. It’s like a double edge sword and it’s driving me out my marriage. I feel that support should not just come from the husband which is the head of the home. The wife has to support his decisions too. She doesn’t have to agree but the husband should have final say so and she not punish him for it (rather it’s ignoring him, withholding sex, long winded debates, etc). From counselors to pastors with whom I spoke with, their rebuttal is always that I’m trying to “control” her and woman are going to always rebel. If that’s true, how can you lead when leading by example only makes you as the husband suffer more. (I not only sacrifice my wants, but I also have to resolve any consequences my wife causes, while doing everything yourself.) It’s like what’s the point of marriage if ima just make my wife happy and don’t get it in return. And any request i ask, it’s consider “controlling” .
Sorry for what you’re going through. It is best to pray for her and not let it fester in your heart, as sometimes we don’t know any better and need spiritual support/guidance. A wife is to submit to her husband, which means to support you, identify your needs, allow you to lead, respect you and trust you even if she may not always be in agreement on decisions, listening to you, being kind and approachable, showing you love. It truly is beautiful. Brother please guard your heart and don’t be discouraged. Pray that she will receive a renewed heart and spirit and that her heart will soften and that she will transform to be your helpmate and not in opposition of your God given responsibility of being the head of the home. That she will seek Him wholeheartedly, and trust you and trust that God is leading you, that the grounds of communication will open for you both to understand one another and reconcile as ONE a union. Rebuke the enemy that is hardening her heart.
I have heard that marriage counselling can be very helpful to utilise in times of hardship but of course both must be willing. God bless
There are many scriptures but here are just a few
Psalm 51:10
Colossians 3:10
Psalm 27:14
Ephesians 5:22
Amos 3:3
John 14:1
I'm sorry about your situation. I believe if you did it from a.place of live in your heart, it may yield a better response from your wife.
I am going through the same thing smh with my wife.
@@alexandra7950 great point.
Have you spoken to her about it? It sounds like there is a lack of respect and maybe some resentment. Are your requests reasonable? Would you do what you're asking her to do? You both should speak to someone together so a full picture is presented in order to produce a solution/resolution.
My woman has the type of soul that could save a nation … lord help me learn to bring every piece of greatness to the surface in myself so she can bring all her greatness to the surface 🙏🏼
Praying that your marriage is blessed
As a women that has supported my family and tried to add in many ways... its not good for Me to feel responsible for earning and doing thr major things for the family.
I didn't understand why I was so anxious, controlling, fearful... until re- remembering that I am meant to be a helper to my husband... we had it the other way round. I found it hard to relax and respect him when I felt so much weight of responsibility.
Now under his Authority and with him bearing the most responsibility I feel lighter and more loved, as now I can focus on the things that make our lives and home function better...there is more peace and even the children are showing more respect since they see Me following Daddy.
I still share some thoughts but am learning it's better for Me to slow down, so He has time to think His own thoughts and pray befor hearing mine.
God's design is beautiful and the fruit of it is the fruit of the Spirit.
Merry Hall, I couldn't agree more.
Men feel that same anxiety and worry at times and still have to love and respect their wives. Know your man, your respect shouldn’t be based off how much money he makes. A woman can say all day she wants a man who provides but as soon as a man says he wants a woman that cooks, cleans, and does the laundry he’s seen as wrong. Know your spouse, you can tell if they’re really trying or if they’re just lazy
@@jordanmontay9877I agree with you, but I think what she’s saying is because she was outside of her femininity by partaking in responsibilities that was beyond her innate ability it allowed her to feel overwhelmed and caused her to lack confidence in her spouse. I can agree with that because I’m currently going through that, but unfortunately I’m not married so I’m way out of pocket 😂
@@jordanmontay9877 it's not right for a wife to feel this overwhelmed. The husband's role is to protect his wife and lead the home. If she becomes too overwhelmed it can lead to, stress, anxiety which eventually leads to depression. A husband should protect his wife from such things. The bible says to love your wife.
Women too have their key roles, and when they push their key responsibility onto their husbands it pushes everything out of sync.
@jazzylady1 I don't think money is attached to masculinity or femininity. Does the bible say it is?
Loved this! I feel like many people don’t speak on the role that a husband is meant to reflect Jesus’ love for the church. I hear most people, if not all, tell women they need to be led but they don’t elaborate to men what it means to lead. Grateful for this video.
Even The Most High gave us His Word written down to follow. Yet some people expect us to have blind trust in them. It may be because they don't have a plan, and are flying by the seats of their pants.
My friend sent me a video of another TH-camr and your video followed. I was busy cleaning so I could not get to my phone to change it. So I listened (not just roommates seminar). Im so glad i did. I believe god heard my prayers and answered through you.
🙏 AMEN !! I have been waiting for years to hear someone explain this like this girl the first time !!
I needed this. As a fiancé and a new father and also having a father that subscribes to old “Head of the household” rhetoric. I’m really learning as I go. This gives me more understanding of how to navigate a household. Thank you
@@isaljaguar7800 you’re missing the point because you’re too focused on wanting POWER over women. Calm down brother. You wanna be in charge of something, get a dog.
@@isaljaguar7800man is not in charge of a woman, he is a servant to both a woman and his children.
Being a LEADER sounds very beautiful path to go with. Love it.
This is what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you
God bless you and your wife for being such positive examples. My life has been changed
I see so much freedom and clarity and peace watching this video
A great explanation
Godbless
Wow ,wow, wow is was so awesome....I definitely learned a lot in this video....keep up the great work 👏
Best video thus far on this topic.
This is the word I was looking for; It doesn't concern family leadership only, but leadership in any type of context. Many thanks and be blessed.
Thanks for the clarity
Well spoken!!!!
This was super helpful. There is really no definition in modern society about what a good husband should be. Even if there is, it's really clouded. Thanks to this brother for making this quick video to remind us about it.
Amen this will be saved to my favorites there has been a lot put on me lately and I have too let go and let God guide me to be a better Father & Husband
This was really good!
Yes..this is a son of GOD..and I believe that GOD want HIS sons to be like that👏🏿👏🏿 blessings to you and your Wife and family
Amen & thank you
Loved everything you said!
Thanks so much for the encouragement and for watching
Great breakdown. I have always heard the "what" when it comes to leadership from a husband. The "how" in this video gives me a greater depth of understanding. As men, we always hear how we are the priest, provider, and protector. It is said as if we automatically assume how to do this from a biblical perspective. As men, we put forth our effort to be a priest, provider, and protector with very little teaching.
Love this positive masculinity content ❤❤❤❤❤❤ wish I could like this 100 times!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for this video.
Glad it was helpful!
Amen brother
Servant leader
Great video
That for sharing
Glad you enjoyed it
Amen!!! I just want to cry, I’ve been trying to explain this to my guy, and he really didn’t understand the meaning of leadership and being the head. Thank you so much.
Great content. I never had men in my life to show me this. I got a wife of 8 years 3 kids all together everything has being good. If course we have had down but nothing severe. But I just needed to more understand lead. I seem to being doing everything right at a 90% rate. But I sometimes believe that everything once in a while I can not handle a situation 100% right which leads to a clash and I have to stop analyze and figure it out because I wasn't taught nor did I ever see how a man step up a lead in some situations. This really helped me
Great insight. Seeing your woman as your partner is the key. Working together, listening to her opinion and learning from each other. 👍💯
Yes, it's just that simple. 🙌🏾🕊️🙏🏾
I love this video! It’s a hidden gem lol !
I’m enjoying the abundance of information women & men provide that help me please God as a wife and mother. But I just noticed how Most men are using their platform to speak directly to women/wives about how we need to walk with God but I don’t see much at all with men speaking to the husbands on how God wants men to lead the home and what that looks like on a daily basis.
Thank you and you wife for your ministry. May God continue to bless !!
Your approach to life and your faith in God is something that I would have wanted in my relationship in marriage and my friendships. It's so hard to have someone that thinks that Christians are supposed to be so perfect, that I encountered someone in my life that doesn't have a strong faith in God. We are not in a relationship, but he has been trying to control every aspect of my life and overlooks that we are not compatible at all. The worst is that no one should discourage someone's faith. He needs to find someone that is more compatible with him, than spend the rest of his life trying to change me to suit his needs. I need to surround myself with people who I want to become like. Thank you.
Needed this
Thank you my brother for the heads up
You bet
This is excellent. So happy I found it. I know the direction I want to go in, I just need a little help.
Thank you brother. This is awesome 👍.I feel like sometimes I am failing. I am trying my best to lead. No I do not want to Lord over my family but lead them to be the best that God need me to be and the best my family should be in Christ
Appreciate the encouragement & amen
Sir, we need your teachable, & book & workbook on this((keeping in mind that your wonderful energy is appealing to believers and actually quite palatable to non-believers as well)). And please also a version for high school and college student. Our country and culture has suffered due to needing these types of detailed structured and very clear lessons
I'm grateful for this very simple layout. I wish I had this to show my ex-husband years ago.
I became the therapist of my home until my tired got tired, because he was gaslighting and ghosting me, instead of confronting the problem.
For many years, I was questioning things that were happening to me, and for the life of me, I didn't know that I had generated so much conflict my life. It was probably a matter of people not understanding where I was coming from, and me not knowing that I needed to explain myself or apologize for something that may have been misinterpreted. But, the reality is that many years later, I have someone that I'm not understanding why he is trying to keep me off balance in every aspect of my life. I know that if I need counseling, it is not because of me: It is him. I know that I never did anything to him, and he may have sided with people that were against me for some reason. Sister friend, I hope all works out for you.
Girl I’m so tired of being the therapist 💯😭
Even though you had seen the video,he wouldn't have listened to you
Good video!👍🏾🔥
Thanks! 😃
I've been doing the most without even knowing it. It was naturally done.
Leadership is hard😀 Although the world system has really changed the meaning but leadership comes with great responsibility, being the first to take the right steps. I just trust in GOD for help to lead right.
I am having trouble with my marriage and I have failed miserably and now my marriage is in jeopardy and I realize what I have done wrong and I pray that it’s not to late I am working on myself and hopefully I can save my marriage. I know I don’t deserve anyone’s prayers because I really don’t but can y’all please pray for me
We will be praying! God is still for you and loves you. Look into marriage counseling and community to help you through this time.
Amazing !!!!
We appreciate the love and support
You Right #Amen
This is a very balanced teaching based on the love of The Messiah.
That’s contradictory! TMH released his hands like a father a long time ago that’s why we have free will now ! Your relationship with them is your example of faith dedication and what he eluded too! But great vid
Omg thank you for breaking it down
I said “ my husband will lead “ and crickets that word lead, doesn’t sit well with society at all
Interesting he quotes John Maxwell vs the Bible first. Secondly, in the Bible Paul makes it clear the man’s role over his family. Going back to the beginning God himself states in Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
Brother not sure where you’re getting your doctrine from but please prayerfully consider the platform in which your speak and the message you are giving.
Genesis 3:16 is a curse or bad consequence of her disobedience. Please read all of the consequences received. Does what The Most High said to Adam regarding the ground being cursed, and bearing thorns and thistles, and him eating bread by the sweat of his brow sound like a good thing. When you consider that in the context of everything else that was said, tbat is not The Most High's order. That is the result of their disobedience. The original order was what Adam declared in Genesis 2.
I think you're reading the Bible through the sinful lenses of the world (male entitlement, male dominance). First, we look to Christ, and everything Paul said must go back to Christ. So, Christ said to love one another. Ephesians 5:21 says to submit to one another, wife to the husband (receive and support) and the husband's headship is acts of service just like Christ loves and cares for the church. There is no hierarchy there, and sorry guys, but the Bible actually does not, repeat not, say that the husband is the head of the home, the priest of the home (that's Christ), has the final say, etc. All of this goes back to Christ's command to love one another. Instead of hierarchy with the husband on top, husbands and wives are more like a salt and pepper set - each very different and good on their own, but for the best flavor, use them together.
@@Himmiefan the issue with using Ephesians 5:21 as reference to verse 22 is that verse 21 is the end of a paragraph. Verse 22 outlines a new topic specific to marriage. This is Paul’s style of writing to compare and contrast.
I agree with you that submitting to one another is a great idea to marriage. However it is not the order in which Paul is describing. In this particular case Paul is referencing Gods order and design for marriage as it reflects Christ and the church. Christ never submitted himself to whatever the church desired, rather he died for his bride (the church) so that we can be made perfect and have a path to salvation. Christ is the head and if marriage is a reflection of His relationship to the church then there does exist a hierarchy. I’m not saying it, the Bible say it.
Thanks kenan
This is not making sense.
Amen! Amen! Amen!
I like this video. I believe this to be true.
very glad!
Everything he said 90% true. But be mindful sometimes influence is not enough. Don't go to no whipping post hurting yourself. Leaving should be the last option. But still needs to be a option
I have been struggling to find my leadership style in marriage and this was extremely difficult to research because I really felt like I had no clue where to start or who to turn to.
In order to find the best leadership style in marriage, each has to know himself and herself. 1st Peter 3:7 says to dwell with your spouse according to knowledge 🤔. If both spouses are being authentic, truthful, and honest, then in time the best flow of the relationship can be determined. Just like the speaker implied, it's not a one size fits all. The Most High will help you to tailor and customize a plan that works for you and your spouse.
100% agree. We need to know each other , understand how each other views things, understand our strengths and weaknesses and see how we can work together as a team to create the happy life we both want.
@@SouthernPioneer1965 I agree. Marriages are not a one size fit all.
I have so many questions
Men get put first responsibly women say and do things that should not be said or done that is a natural way of life in human nature so if for example your spspouce got into an argument with her idk her mom you are the one who has to bare the CONSEQUENCES of them actions so if you are a wise man u would try and put yourself in the shoes to others and be fair so that way there can come a resolution it is a very easy thing to say vs do so u just have to constantly remember that no one is perfect we all rotten so we have to show god based off character why we will continue to trive in his honor the way he intends .. food for thought ✊🏽
than when we are not equal if the husband is the head of the home being equal is a mutual relationship[ as a team
And Ephesians 5:21 said the husband and wife must submit to each other. All the Ephesian verses are an example of how to live out Christ's command to love one another. There is no hierarchy or who-is-the-boss there.
@@Himmiefan it does not address my statement, you reply is of something else. If you not wanting to read and reply accordingly wasting my time to read something that is irrelevant
great video i would advise to have your partner you r women to watch this video as well because she needs to be on the same page .. she needs to trust you to be the leader it only works if she on the same page
Is it possible that a husband and wife work better with some distance in between? When im away for work we get along very well. We get along in person too but we clash alot. I know i have changed but she has the old image of me still. Will time help? Shes not wanting to be married anymore. In this moment giving her what she wants mean divorce. I offered an alternative of lets be together but apart.
If it's best, we can chat with you both to see what is the best course of action in repairing your marriage. Use this link to schedule time with us: calendly.com/seanandlanette
For the life of me, if I had children and a job, there would be no time for me to do anything but focus on my own life. I just found out that three accounts I had were closed, and I asked for the life of me, "who would close my accounts without my knowledge or permission? All I'm asking what would make a man feel the need to run someone else's household when he has his own? If I were married, I would never allow a man without Christian values to lead my home. I think one of the worst things is that I would always want me and my children's father to be the role models that they look up to not have them bow their heads in shame because of our lifestyles or decisions we make.
I'm not as physically strong as a lot of the women around me though. Is this a bad thing? I've been working out, but still skinny and frail as they come :/
How can you be equal when there is an hierarchy? How can we be partners when we are not equal?
The Bible says God is the head of The Son and they are one. They are equal. (1 Corinthians 11:3).
@@adventuresofitzel Man is the Head of woman.
there are so many videos about it when they are being asked of about it , all of the time, they don't reply accordingly. You are one of those videos
men have to be the rock we support and lift everyone else up .. who lifting us up ??? we lead but also come last ?? put everyone else first .. not trying to pic apart the video well i guess i am
So the man shouldn't run his household and take charge? What about the woman that yet to be the man and woman in the house?
What if the wife doesn't want to submit to his authority and is domineering and oppressive?
you can schedule time to chat with us. We do marriage coaching: calendly.com/seanandlanette
I dont know if she will give me time to show i can be a leader of my family. It might be too late.
❤️❤️❤️
Why can't they husband partner with the spouse. Why do you have to lead ?
What if she doesn't want to submit?
If you're a man, it's not your place, sorry but that's right, your place to talk about her submission (her receiving and support). It is your place to live out Christ's command to love one another. That's what these Ephesian verses are really about. It's the sinful world that says that it's about the man being the boss and the woman being subordinate. So, work on being kind and not being self-centered.
What if the wife won't listen and makes it hard for me to lead?
If the wife wont listen to the point where the relationship is irreconcilable, note that this can go the other way as well. I would say that you are no longer compatible and need to move on. As with any relationship, there are options that can improve communicating such as counseling or just trying to communicate humbly that your needs aren't being met and that you would appreciate positive conversation. If that's not possible, then you have reached the territory of whether or not a divorce is in order. Seek out other pieces of advice and try to make the best decision you can and good luck.
Women typically behave this way when they don’t trust or have faith your leadership abilities. You should sit her down and have the conversation about that.
That's when you seek The Most High on behalf of your family or your leadership style as it pertains to your wife.
He said men only advantage is physically wrong men are emotionally stronger that's what's wrong with the world default family structure is no longer if you can't dominate over a woman with respect let her Go
Thanks for you submission, i think you need to be more practicable. How about when the man is trying to lead the wife and have communicated his plans on how that would be the best for the family and the wife refuses to follow through because of flimsy personal reasons. For me, good leadership can never be attaned when there is no good followership or support system. In a marraige there are no two leaders, in a vehicle it is not two drivers or ship. When a woman wants to exert control to please herself at the expense of the family good is not the best. When there is no trust and constant debate over every little detail, how can a man lead the home? Should a man be a figurehead and a sycophant in his home where God has given him the sole responsibility over his home?
Very strong point on this comment
Does that mean that a woman is not allowed to ask valid questions or offer valuable suggestions? A woman has a mind and can bring great value to a relationship. Consider the woman in Proverbs 31.
Brother, I think it’s wonderful that you understand that your wife is not inferior to you. However you are the head, and she is supposed to submit to you. The thing is this world has made masculinity such the enemy that men of God are repressed held back because women are so brainwashed. I personally am very independent and I understand that a man like Christ wouldn’t try to control the exert power over me, but as a woman who loves the Lord obey willingly because that is my responsibility as a wife. Women have to humble themselves, in all reality a lot of women try to exert their own personal idea of power over men,it’s all pride, vanity. I wish women really could appreciate what it is to know God fully
My wife refuses to work with me. It's her way or no way. She was a single mother for a long time before we met/got married and she wants to continue living that way. My opinion is not valued. I am not treated as an equal.
you can schedule time to chat with us. We do marriage coaching: calendly.com/seanandlanette
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Somebody have to be the head somebody have to be to the body there is no equal equal never work she will lose respect for you long term christ don't serve us we serve Christ
a husband doe not need to have ' a tag ' a 'role' to be the protector he would not care for his family if he did not protect them , and father and mother husband and all family members have the natural instinct to care for their family even in the animals kingdom the parents protect their family, the mother would naturally protect her child it is bizarre to say '' I am the protector ' walking around with a ' tag' and the mother would not protect the child if is in danger?? that is just bizarre to state the father is the protector!! !
He just explained everything my husband is not 😒
You married him, now what?
Who was created first? how can be equals if God decided to create first the man, please stop teaching simp stuff
Animals were created before man, yet The Most High gave man dominion over the earth 🌎. Hmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
your wrong about strength is the only difference... men are way more creative and build the world we live in .. all construction jobs ... most things created ... just truth
If you are dealing with a competent woman, she will not need a ton of leadership. Women in general don't really want "leadership", they want men who take initiative in the areas they are best suited to do so. Unnecessary leadership in areas where its not needed is counter productive and annoying. All people should lead in their strong areas. And generally, the best leadership and christ-like leadership is not in actually telling people what to do and not to do, its LEADING BY EXAMPLE. Christ was not a "boss" he inspired with his actions and truth....