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The books of Matthew Mark Luke and John according to Hebrews 9 or Old Testament because Christ was still alive in that time. Now it's true we should read every book in the Bible but you have to understand not every book is talking directly to us it's all for our learning and growing and understanding but it's not all directly doctrinally to us. What a narcissistic Christian does is they say they're Christian but all they do is use scripture outside of its context as a means to control or manipulate people they don't really believe in the Bible they believe in what they see or what they feel not what they know. Trust me I grew up in a very narcissistic family my father got very high before I was born and he was about 85 lb in an angel appeared in front of him and told him yes and according to him he believed it meant that as of this moment he was saved from the angel which is directly opposite of what the scripture says according to the Apostle Paul salvation is a free gift to anyone that will believe meaning anyone can get salvation if they trust the gospel which is trusting him with Christ alone for salvation my father never did this to this very day he still hasn't done this he believes that his experience is what saves his soul not scripture and it doesn't matter to him that he was high Because he believes in his experience. Because of this he raised me and my siblings on a false perception of Doctrine he raised us to believe we could lose our salvation and that we had to act and walk and talk and live according to what he says which is not biblical at all. Because of this nonsense my childhood was full of physical and emotional abuse like crazy. It did not help that both of my parents knew that me and my brother were dyslexic so we couldn't read until we were 13 and because we were isolated in the country we didn't have the ability to speak to people or to sit down and really talk about issues or ask questions because our minds were shaped by our narcissistic parents. Whenever we would question their belief system they would beat us and it got so bad that I actually had a psychotic break because it was so abusive. This last year my brother has tried to kill himself three times because of the narcissistic abuse he went under from my parents. And now that we know the Bible and we've read the whole Bible cover to cover and we understand what the gospel is its faith alone. My father has literally denied the Apostle Paul and now denies areas of the Bible that do not correlate with his experience is drug-fueled experience so they're deluded narcissists who don't know what they're talkin about. And have robbed most of their children of their education I remember when my mother looked at me in the eyes and said that her education mattered more than me and my brothers and then decided to give up on our education. She then poured all of her time into becoming a nurse practitioner. There's a TH-cam channel called Grace Bible ambassadors Pastor Steve watch his video series Jesus wasn't talking to you trust me it's a good series
The best people survival guide that I'm aware of is the "Holy Scriptures, which are irrefutable, unchangeable, the world's all-time bestseller and the only book that has withstood the test of time. PTL!
Their narcissistic behavior drives you insane , and when you lose your marbles….they say you have a probate mind. . I can’t tell you how much I want to die already.
1. Feels superior 2. Assumes you are stupid 3. Will abandon you in your darkest and I mean darkest hour. 4. Giving to get 5. Fake sincerity 6. Coldly disregards those he or she can’t use. 7. Give to get in return 8. In a crisis they bail 9. Not apologetic… Blames you. 10. Will cut you out for petty reasons 11. Petty.
All true. I went thru cancer she said she was going to leave me after chemotherapy. She sells our 1st home. 6 months later, she buys a new home, we went to Vegas, I get her pregnant with our 3rd child. Once our 3rd child was born, she said she was divorcing me for "incompatibility" reasons. "She settled and can do better". Shes about to be 35 yrs old. She developed epilepsy during the 3rd pregnancy and now has it as a daily struggle. She got into an accident from a seizure with 2 of our 3 kids in the car. We also had sex 4 times the week of our divorce. She even said "I get off early ill come by and we can have sex one last time before we go to final mediation". She is crazy. Im so much better without her. However, Im not sure when ill be ready for another relationship. Im thankful to God for our 3 beautiful children.
You make a great point. The most important sermon ever ( the sermon on the mount) and you show how much of it deals in some way with this same topic. Well done
So sorry 😞 In my opinion,a religious narcissist is the worst of them all.No one truly believes a person can be a narcissist and have a relationship with God at the same time.
If your father is following God then he is not a narcissist. Because then you're saying God is. If your father is doing things that are out of the Bible then he is doing one of the seven things God hates
I'm sorry Traclyn, please be encouraged. That is not how our heavenly father is. He Loves you and will help you. Continue to pray for your father because In the end we all have to answer to God, no matter what title we hold.
"Christian" and "Narcissist" are inherent contradictions -- in terms -- the antithesis of each other. Now, if you mean narcissists and pseudo-christians . . . , you're on to something.
Narcissistic People must be Respected just "because",red flags 1.older 2.Minister, I've tried understanding RESPECT unearned but demanded ,What causes that??
With an emphasis on reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing, churches (in my opinion) are the single best possible place for both covert and overt narcissists to find an enabling community who will always welcome them, and even elevate them.
Agree! Church is where we think we are in fellowship with like-minded people , can be more open with ourselves and our emotion. The best place for narcissists to find hosts for the emotional parasitism .
I agree!!! There’s something about a church that has always turned me off, even the small fellowship I loved and attended for years. I was full of Gods love and knowledge and then people seemed to have another face to them. It became wry clicky and overnight so many dropped out and never returned. I did too after the sarcastic remarks towards me. I was told once that being a Christian is between you and our Heavenly Father (God). I research and read and speak all day with God. And yes, I can be a hand full at times, but we always work it out ❤😂❤ I’m very appreciative of this sharing.
I was married to one..left me devastated discouraged in the Lord etc..iv quit going to church. He trashed my name in 3churches. It has turned me ugly. I guess Satan won. Gossip..no stating a fact..👊 I was the outsider so church family believes him. Had to church hop he would lie about me dump me..ofcourse gdt back with me r han b embarrassed to b seen with me..so new church here we come. The Bible says Jesus will defend ur name.🤔 he never did..I tried to..few of the women could c thru his vicodine addition fakeness high all the time. But he fooled others with his dancing praise&"worship praying like a layman in tongues regularly titled got 2 big settlements wich both times left me didnt want me to know he had received them..bot himself meaning things breaking promises to me after I supported him no income. & gives pastor a gift of money..knows the scripture front to back..he was in a Christian rehab for 18 months..if u cussed or did anything wrong u had to write scriptures..ya he definitely knows the word. Helps the pastors Dad keeps him company helps out on the farm..gets free meals etc. Anyway..im left being jezzibell😪 so discouraging python monitor leviathan spirits have snuffed my light out. I hope everyone is happy now. They can praise & adore his rotten spoiled fruit. I loved this man with all my heart. 2hrs of deliverance on him annoited pastor said he's friends with his familiars &:won't let go. I saw the dark hallow eyes smirk in corner of his mouth voice changes..stays up all night pacing talking to himself but like conversation with someone else alwys about me calling whore terrible things I lay in bed shaking sometimes he would stand next to bed just staring at me I wouldn't move. 3 times physically assaulted me twice in front of my grandkids I lost my grandkids for2yrs. Once he clamped his teeth on my nose in bed in the dark& just held it there for while. I told him he was sick inhumane who does crazy ceap like this??!! A Man of God does..yep there u go...im done...iv lost faith courage iv lost me I lost my son 4yra ago the narc wasn't even there for me..he was home getting high with the young people. He likes younger girls. There u go..im full of gossip demons 👊 I didnt go to work today..im beside myself..😪
There are spirtual narcs too. Charismatic types who believe in the gifts in the spirit and might be very anointed. What gives them away is poor character, lack of sanctification and often rebellion.
What does a real student of biblical doctrine do when a narc comes to you asking for you to join their Bible study and they smell like marijuana? I'm not judging, I'm not offended either because that's the bait of Satan. My only question is who smokes when they read scripture? Purity is still right, as is humility and holiness. Just because it's legalized now? I don't know anyone who does what this person was doing, and somehow I'm not surprised. They want help is right. The only way is to do the work.
My ex used to quote scriptures that only made sense to her. She has to win all the time, very conditional no empathy, mocks, emasculates, always calls the shots, interrupted Bible studies, demands the man leads yet doesn't submit, no trust, can't let go of things, blames accusations and hates them claims to love.
We’ll be glad you got away! I would have run for my life also ! Let her be miserable all by herself. You go heal and have peace and happiness and one day real love with a giving woman who has things in common with you and smiles and is passionate with you and loves God sincerely ❤ I wish you the best 😊
@@christopherglock7239 you described exactly my x husband of 20 years and when I got the courage to walk out of the marriage, he told me that God doesn't approve divorce because its not HIS will but I should instead remain married to him and suffer like Christ because its a christian thing to do. I guess I am far from being one of Gods favourite child because of my divorce and my failures 😔
This is my mother as well. I usually goes years with no contact. However, when I do start having a relationship again with her it starts all over again. I fortunately live 750 miles away from her. I feel sorry for her, but cannot take her yelling and screaming at me all of a sudden out of the blue. I try to honor her from a distance and pray for her☹️
After 47 years of a narcissistic mother, it CHANGED last year around Christmas. She defends me, she seeks me out and is kind respectful and caring with me. She is very careful. Opposite of her old ways. Bc of my narcissist fiance gossiping with her and making her explode at me( just after I held Thanksgiving for the family) I became a tornado of emotion inti the 2 of them. I told her she had the spirit of fornication on her, having emotional affairs. I kicked him out. One of my sister's became very corned that I would hurt my mother. My mother imlives in my street and she was also concerned I could hurt her bc of the height of my angry and emotional words to her. So my sister arranged a group chat wirh the 5 of us. I exposedmy mothers mistreatment of me and expmained to them that they may not have experienced any of this from' their' mother. She Only needed one vomit bin and I was it. She goes against me in every relationship, even that of my children. She divides us, gossips,judges slanders my family, does not have one word of hope for us and does not have our best interest. When my infant daughter died at 2 months old, my mom said she believes the funeral director thre her body in the dumpster rather than bother either such a small coffin. And she laughed. I was mind blown. My ex husband is still considered family and calls her mom. Although he is a womanizer. I am often excluded from gatherings. Anyway, now I have grandchildren and I want to protect my family ( my mom was being cynical about them,their mom and the situation with the childrens' mom stopping us from seeing g the babies) I left gifts at my moms door and a card apologizing for my behavioral outburst. She did not call or text acknowledgeme t. Anyway,the next week I explained my trauma on the group text w my mom and sister's. since childhood, the emotional issues it led to, the labeling it led to, and as an adult the relationship trauma it led to. I used I statements. I did not accuse my mom. I described things that my mom said or did and how it made me feel. And how I am forgiving and how I have to disconnect Completely from her in order to stop the continued Cycle of destruction in my life. I empathized with my mother,that she kept me alive and well for years, taught me about Jesus, and acknowledged that she may not have realized what she was doing to harm me bc it was 99 percent non violent/physical. I told them she pushed me down as a toddler. And for a nurturer to do that can create a confused monster.i have anger issues (also learned behavior and DNA!)Thankfully I have been a pedi nurse for 21 yrs. My Mom is a retired nurse; became a Nurse 54 yrs ago. My sisters where dumbfounded, sympathetic. For the first time. My mother did not defend herself. The next month I came to our annual Christmas eve mother daughter brunch. My mom was so relieved that I came. She did not make any statements or apology. But her hugs and saying I love you, I love you showed she was Making an effort. her hugs felt a lot warmer than ever before.she smiled a lot at the 4 of us. Took pictures. Since Christmas, I have seen her avoid gossip about me, She changed the subject, started saying no and ran off the another room when my son started complaining about me. I help her care for my Aunt a few days a week. We swap meals often. The relationship does not feel strained; that elephant that I always felt in the room with her is gone. It has only been a few months and she could revert. ..but I do not believe she wants the consequences of a divided family by her being cut off (my dad divorced her years ago) What worked for me was Having the opportunity of a focused platform whether a counselor, group chat, or intervention. Just for my story, an attentive audience including my mom. Describe each event of what was said and/or done to me and how I felt ... May impact any mothers heart. God is able!! Keep the hope.
But, it's super difficult to see it in your parents, especially your mom. You just believe it's normal living, until decades later like myself, sibling, and his child (My nephew)...it started to make sense. We just thought she was like that because she had a troubled past with her father, and family members. I just thought because she profess Har salvation in Jesus that she was going to change! Wrong!
No trying , just doing what you need to inforce the fact that it's your turn to step up or keep getting stepped on . Wake the people up , don't let them stay sleep (blind)
I've been Hearing ,For 11 years God is telling her this and that,and NEVER anything for her to do to fix things with people that she says hurt or" lies" on her,everyone changed and came to her, is she that perfect that she never has to go to anyone and forgive anyone ??
Narcissists in general are great actors, they can play any part & make you really believe they are 100% sincere...the real deal, but your spirit will nudge you and let you know they're off because true kindness, humility, compassion, will not vaunt itself, it will not puff itself up, & these people will throw their fake virtues in your face so you can see just how spiritual they are. Real authentic Christians will have & hold these virtues even when (no one is looking) & applauding their performance!
I would like to add another sign to be wary of in a romantic relationship. If you are being rushed and or pressured to commit, that is a sign of something off as well. I don't mean 3 years in, I mean 6 months into the relationship there is an urgency that doesn't correlate with the time spent getting to know each other.
@@VivClement Yes, and because they do not want to respect the needs of the partner. They think they deserve it to have everything immediately that they want.
I married one too. It took me years to figure out why i ended with a spouse like him because he was nothing like my father. He was just like my mother…
Good grief... you have been through so much! The Lord must really love you for the devil to try to take you out so bad. Praying you are well, blessed and enjoying freedom with Jesus. God bless!
A true christian would be humble (most likely selfless) and "let" you give them something instead of "make" you give them something. No asking or demanding necessary.
Thank you for your insight Kris. My narcissistic mother was so religious growing up but it was just for show. We were made to be on time for church or she’d yell at us. We were told to be nice, be well behaved, act Christian. But when church was over my mother would gossip about everyone in the church on the way home. She was petty, jealous and talked cruelly of other church members. During the week though I guess she forgot she was a Christian woman because she would hate, berate, neglect us, be very late picking us up from school even though we had to be very early for church to protect our perfect image as a family. It was all a sham. She was and still is a divisive, hateful, controlling, manipulative narcissistic woman to this day in her 80’s. She lies and gossips constantly. I told her that is sinning. She hasn’t apologized nor repent for anything she has done, ever. I have since experienced many many religious, covert, so called altruistic narcissists. What a bunch of hypocrites they are. They hide behind their religion to victimize, abuse, control, manipulate and destroy people. I don’t want to see any of them in Heaven.
My 86 yo (healthy) MoMster is deep in religion & I'm the bad son, the Monster that's been a difficult child. I turned "special needs" @ 45 by mother's legal bound final wishes so EVERY CHILD HOOD MEMORY COULD BE TRUSTED TO BY SIBLING TO FINISH ME OFF!
My dad and mom! My dad was the evil malignant one. My mom hated me when I became. Christian. I had the Light within and it reminded her that the cult she belonged to was fake. Both parents came to Jesus in their later years.
My mother and grandmother are narcissists. They adopted me, my brother and girl. She had a girl naturally born who was the golden child. All the adopted children were the family black sheep. They made us go to church on Sunday and Wednesday. I was made to go to the church middle school and high school. When I was in 10th grade my parents went through a nasty divorce and ruined my high school years. Their narcissism came out on full display during and after their divorce. They both accused each other of adultery as an excuse to get divorced and make each other appear to be the bad guy. I would hear them fighting a lot in the office room in our house. It was traumatic for me to witness their divorce and afterwards I was the one who they leaned on for emotional support.
@@RS54321 part of the image she likes to portray. Narcissist are all about their image and how ppl view them. If they are views as loving, Godly, etc...and you do something against them then not only are the "victim", but you are now proving everything (negative) they said about you. I ppl that attend church are more loving, caring, etc.. and more willing to help "those less fortunate". So, going to church gives that " eventhough I'm struggling, I'm thanking God for all my blessings" appeal.
Oh my goodness, yes! I had this slap me upside the head with a family member I will not name. I thought she was such a godly loving woman until I pointed something out that disturbed me. My question turned her into a screaming rage machine. It was crazy! It took me years to untangle what in the world was going on with her. I had to have three different people who I talked to about her confusing behavior to (none of them knew her, she lives in a different state and this wasn't the only thing, it was just my wake-up call) tell me she was a narcissist before it got through. Now when I see her I just keep my mouth shut since she likes to twist everything around to be negative and make sure she isn't terrible to my children. She really likes to find someone to pick on. Another thing I had to learn the hard way. 😢 She talks bad about other ppl if she has no one else to put her meanness on. All done in a sweet voice of helpfulness though. It's disturbing.
Been dealing with toxic people since I was a child before the word "Narcissism" came about in the 90s. Family, relatives and associates claiming to be Christians and good people as they learn all they can about you then turn the tables to persecute you and of course they don't remember the past as it's too painful for them to make the effort and introspect.
Same here now I'm trying to get my life together and it's so difficult and hard pray for me .. I also have codependent issues I was raised like this ever since I was a little boy and my mom's womb my father I know my mom she was trying to do it protect me at the same time it's like I don't know how to get out into the real world cuz all it does is now I'm dealing with life and I don't know how to go about getting back on every time I go out in life those are the people that come in to my life anybody have any suggestions or ideas what I should do I'm open for help..
@@ericknight1941 Praying for you Eric! You deserve the spiritual support and the family in Christ who truly love and serve others in a Christ like manner. Remember your soul needs healing. Check out Kate Souza’s ministry. She is teaching on healing of the soul and very important to focus on God in this process for you. God loves you , and You are called for such a time as this. Seek true relationship from God and He will send the right connections to you. God bless you
Thank you!!! I can’t stand hypocrisy! And I hate fake fruit on the table… that was my mother …. Preaching to strangers and knocking on strangers doors to save them while I her child was starving and exhausted
Wow!! Charity starts at home THEN spreads abroad!!! I pray you've allowed the Holy Spirit to flood your heart with forgiveness for your mother!! Blessings!!
It's all about getting the glory from others and to hell with their supposed loved ones. Been there and became scornful of any others doing good. Took a lifetime to get over "do gooders" and become open to those truly wanting to help people without shortchanging me. Have nothing but total contempt for glory-seeking do gooders. Was briefly married to a communal narcissist. Miss Daisy
Both parents did all that. My dad gave 2mil away before he couldn’t function at 84. But sure didn’t give to any of us three children. Delved it out to ministries and every drug addict in town.
I sure can relate. Thousands given to the pastor, but I was a week kid from lack of food. Of course I later ended up in a neglectful unfaithful marriage and went without food more than not. Got away and he ruined my life.
This was soo good. I just got out of a covert narcissist relationship. Often times he would say that I was toxic and I was the one with the many issues.
They tell on themselves all the time. It’s called projection. Glad you got out. God used this experience to help me stop being co dependent and show me He healed my low self esteem issues.
EXACTLY! They always do that. They cause problems and issues for no reason, and out of the blue, and when you respectfully show them that what they’re doing is wrong, they twist everything, and manipulate the situation, and try and make you out to be the one with issues. It really really sucks.
I had a Christian narcissist boyfriend and the Lord told me to "end it now"!!! I am so relieved I did! Now he came back to church and "lurking around" trying to get my attention! I will not take him back!!!
My daughter dated a guy in high school whose adoptive mom was a total Christian narcissist. It was a horrible experience that landed with my daughter eventually needing to see a therapist. Thankfully we are free of them now. Her poor son was such a brainwashed victim. She was one of the most horrible people I've encountered and she's still at it. Fooling people left and right.
I can also use these signs to examine myself, because i might be also one, but hopefully not. Thank you so much my sister in Christ! God Blessed your heart!
@Simone Casillas Thank you for your sweet reply, i appreciate it a lot, it's such a comfort. Thank you! And you just keep on asking the Lord our God, He is truly faithful and He knows your heart, all your struggles and what you truly desires. Let just keep the faith for He promised us that He will finish the work He has started on us. Great is His work in our lives! In Jesus's mighty name, Amen! Please pray for me and for my family to have a stronger faith in Christ Jesus, i've been having an spiritual battle in the season of my life right now. Thank you so much! :) May God Bless you always!
If you are regretful over anything you've done and seek forgiveness, you are not a narcissist. Narcissists are never regretful for what they do right or wrong doesn't enter into their head, because they consider themselves "perfect." So you're not a narcissist.
@@marlenevideos8666 I think that she was very forth COMING in her knowledge to examine herself.. truth is bad company corrupts good morals. I know I did not want to respond the way I did in my toxic relationships once I met JESUS, but I found myself with some of the same traits.. I believe if we are uncomfortable and we go to JESUS with our conviction he is might to give us a new way of our reponses.. I REPENT for my part, my part was alot.. I was not helping my fellow man by pretending or setting boundaries and not following through.. the more I was brave and practiced the truth, the more revelation I was given with greater conviction.. that conviction served as a alarm that would sound off very loud to remind me the pain and danger to fellowship with others that do not fear GOD and keep his COMMANDMENTS. I have had many seasons of the pain to exit children, family and so called BRETHREN. I stand today in strength to know that it is a very NARROW walk and God is so serious to warn us of who we partake with.. we are called to be private gardens and not public parks.. we are to be wise and ponder our ways and motives daily. Not everyone is going with you, we must endure and push through the pain.. we must not BLOOD out in RELATIONSHIPS.. that is not what God calls us to do. When we dont PERMIT another person to change, it's really us being SELFISH.. think about that.. if we love someone = wanting the greater good for another.. is it ok to help them hurt them? We dont get this kind of teaching from the 4 walls.. they twist SCRIPTURE and turn it back on you for not LOVING everyone.. it's so sad, dangerous and scary to be asleep and lead ASTRAY.. but the trial is to cause us to go deeper in our walk to recognize truth and put our pain in his hands.. helping us to be aware to make the repairs.. bless you.
@@marlenevideos8666 Right and wrong enter their heads. They just reject any attempt to blame them or wrong them because they have it in their head that they were right. They are unable to be argued with because they do not form any cogent thoughts at all. All of their cognitive powers are used to maximize the perfect image at all times.
I have to deal with a narcissist at church. I avoid her and use gray rock method, but she is upset that I am not letting her in my close circle. I have prayed about how to handle any enablers that may come and question me. Here will be my reply: "I have 3 mottos I strive to live by. 1: There is more than one side to every story; 2: each person is entitled to their own thoughts and feelings; and 3: I strive not to gossip or talk about people behind their back." I have memorized this and it gives me power to be the follower of Christ that I strive to be.
Make sure you keep that circle close. If this person is trying to pound into it, especially. Because honestly, they'll take you down be careful from someone that knows and boy do those spirits love to work for that person.
@@ericwilliams626Criticizing them does no good. I guarantee that someone has told them this. They just don’t care. They will just be a nuisance and stir them up. Solving as peacefully and quietly as possible would
You have nailed my mother! I have recently discovered that my elderly mother is a narcissist, so I’m listening to many helpful videos like yours to help me deal with her & keep my sanity! Thank you & GBY!
You're not alone at all. 51 yrs old and just discovered this with my elderly mom. But, I often wondered why we never got along...at all! Lol. But, it all makes sense now. Just recently she approached one of my friends at church and told her, "I know you and my daughter are friends, but there are two sides of the story, and began to tell her all of my business". My friend didn't even know she was being baited. Some people at the church believe she's so sweet because she passes out greeting cards on special occasions. But, behind the scenes she's a beast. I will continue to love and honor my mother, but I know longer will be her door mat. I strongly encourage putting in place boundaries, and sticking to them. Watching various videos has helped me not to shout back, be disrespectful, and revengeful. She start dismissing my feelings I've learned to dismiss myself from the toxicity, and stand up for what I know is right. Just some helpful tools for you. Be blessed and hang in there!🙏🏽💖
56 just learned my mother is one, unbelievable frustration why I was always wrong and invading my privacy. Thank you this was very helpful. Been praying God shows we a way out. Love scripture
@@natinamack5123 the best thing to do is just visit her but stay away and don’t tell her anything about your business. Don’t let people who know her know about your personal business also because she will continue to be causing problems. I am 52years old and my mother has caused me a lot of pain all my life but I am slowly putting an end to it. You have to stay away.
Great video. Sound advice indeed but I would add something else to this list and that is to learn to listen to or tap into your intuition and gut feelings. Your body picks up on these characters but we dismiss how they make us feel. They often show flashes of their malevolence towards us but we often dismiss these incidents. They always leave you feeling drained and over time you will see a pattern from them. Always listen to your intuition. Pride and arrogance give off their own frequencies and so not only watch and learn about them, but feel and learn. Authentic people always give us a sense of peace, narcissists always stir up calm waters. Trust God and listen to your gut feelings and intuition always. Never second guess them.
This was painfully accurate I feel like such a fool for having a breakdown over my experience. Sometimes I can be too open and naive when it comes to meeting new people. When I heard this it was like somebody pointed out an obvious answer to a puzzle.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself… the easiest targets are people that are honest and kind hearted. Our minds don’t think the way the manipulators think so until we’ve been abused by them we don’t know… but once they tell us who they really are we must believe them forgive and love them from a DSTANCE❤️💪🏽🙏🏽☝🏽✝️
I was also in a friend group but soon It was revealed to me they were jezebel-like, bullies, controlling. Most of these love to be in the spot light and love complimenting others. Says one thing…then cussing behind to others , looking down on others. Using God’s grace but there is no apology. I have had friends like this and I thought one of them was my best friend for life. Use discernment, but not be fearful of opening up to new people. God is our best friend and then everyone else comes after Him, even having a kingdom marriage.
I too got "love bombed" for over a week! I even began asking "Has she been sent by God?" Only to be "discarded" like something on the bottom of your shoe! No closure, no explanation, just "you and me were not God's will, please leave me alone". And now I have the long arduous task of picking up all the pieces. I have forgiven, but forgetting will take a LOT longer.
@RS54321 oh he was sooo charming until the "red flags started flying"!!! The Lord told me to "end it now"!!! I dumped him!! Unfortunately he is still lurking around to try and get my attention!!!
Bless you for this! I had NO idea what a narcissist was until God showed me I was married to one. You are helping so many by the truth. You validated what my spirit was showing me 😊
Are you still married?? I am 7 years in and I care for my husband deeply but man… even he has admitted that he thinks he’s a narcissist! I’ve taken all the online quizzes too and they say I’m have severe emotional abuse symptoms… I mean after I had my second baby by C-section I was 4 weeks postpartum and he made it all about him and had a total mental and emotional breakdown about how I wasn’t there for HIM in the last four weeks etc… I mean… having another major surgery and keeping your kids alive… you’re welcome. We’re going to marriage counseling soon I’m just terrified tho… anytime we’ve talked with someone he spends almost the entire time talking about his childhood and his heart and emotions etc… and then I just don’t know what to say at all when I’m asked to talk.
Just two days ago I found you. Just two weeks ago I began to learn that I am married to a narcissist. Well he appears to fit all the descriptions. I’m broken now but so thankful for you and others who have shown me truth about what has been happening for 26 years. I need help. Don’t know where to turn. I’m learning to seek God’s face more now than ever before in my 50 plus years as a Christian. For sure I need healing, cleansing and strength. Most TH-cam “instructors” say there is no way that change is possible and to run. My heart says to do that, but my head says hang in there because where would I run to? At 81 years of age, how do I start over? Please pray with me and advise. Thanks
My heart goes out to you...I feel your pain 100%. It is such a lonely, disheartening walk. May God fill you with His perfect love and peace to ride this storm out, howsoever the Holy Spirit leads... When the truth hits, all becomes clear and finally makes sense, doesn't it? To have your thoughts, feelings and experiences validated by someone else offers such relief - initially (we weren't going mad after all!)...but then that new reality of who/what we are truly married to hits home and suddenly the present becomes all the more unbearable and the future looks even more bleak than it already did! I don't have any answers and don't know what to do myself, but I'm sending a big hug to you, precious one! All I do know is that Jesus Christ offers hope in every circumstance and He is faithful and true and will never leave us nor forsake us. God bless you.
I'm sorry 😔, it's hard. I prayed a lot for him to walk closer to God to change his ways. I didn't know he was a narcissist until he died. All these emotions came out, I was an enabler. I'm 67 and was married 25 years with him. Before that I was married to another Narcissist, which was worst he abused us all. I was 16 when he raped me and had to stay with him. I had no voice to tell anyone cause I lived with my Mom's dad and mother at age 5-13, he molested me the whole time!! I did what I was told. I was so fearful, still am😔 I was placed in foster care at one month until 5 years, then moved in with that monster! With they found out, then again I was placed in foster care system, my mother didn't want me. I was so messed up, it's a wonder I'm alive but God has a plan, still trying to figure that out. But I'm safe now. Trying to get healing 🥰 so yes I will pray for you 💕
I've been married over 46 yrs. I finally figured it out 6-8 yrs. ago. He was humble, charming and quite wonderful. Everyone loves and hangs on his every word. I'm 65 and I moving to my own place. He's been telling lies about me and has even admitted it. He said he would straighten out the lies if I stay. I'm sure that's another lie. Hang in there Barbara. I don't have ALL the answers, but God does. It's very difficult @ 65, It must be horrible @ 81.
My ex-wife used to call me a narcissist. But nobody else in my life has ever accused me of being a narcissist. After listening to your channel. I realize she was the narcissist. So I do what I can. I pray for her.
Hello Kris, My mother is a covert religious narciss. She has used her religion to hit us over the head for decades. She is superior, shows no empathy, she never was emotionally supportive of me and my siblings. Now she is elderly and still continues to live for herself and has no good insight into herself and being elderly. She continues to not use good judgement, and now being elderly, will not use any wisdom in how she should live safely as her life nears the end. Continues to brag about how wonderful she is, and never ever inquires on us children and how our lives are.
That was my mother too. She passed away at her church's senior care facility across the country. She didn't inquire of her children's wellness. When I visited her 5 years ago, she could only spend 20 minutes with us because she had to go to the weekly Bible study.
I’m sorry you went through this as well. My mom to a tee. The amount of cruelty behind closed doors I have endured is beyond comprehension. Using her Christianity as weapon and abusing it has been awful. I am Christian but I came into my own with my love of God and what a true Christian is. She believes she is truly the chosen one in the family but yet is cruel to me. I’m the empath and my sister is her mini me. She has never behaved toward her like she has to me.
My "bff" of 48 years abandoned me a few months ago. She's treating me as if I did things to her when she's always done little things to me. I'm now thankful she did it. It explains many things that I wondered about over the years. I have purged myself of all gifts, pictures and cards. Continuing to pray for healing. 🙏
What you said at 3:20 explained exactly how I was feeling. I dated a Christian guy for a few months, the first Christian guy I had ever dated and he was a complete narcissist. I was so confused. This opened my eyes and I see that I can’t assume someone doesn’t come with redflags just because they claim to follow Christ. This guy knew very little about me because we only ever talked about him. I’m so glad God got me out of that relationship quickly.
Dated a narcissistic Christian girl. She would always say she had a “gift” and that “her understanding was above mine, and she didn’t expect me to understand”. She said she prayed for wisdom ONCE to God, and claimed that she got it, and now touts that supposed fact during any little argument or disagreement, and would use it to make me feel worthless, or less than her. It really sucked. But my experience with the Holy Spirit was that he put peace in my heart, and my love for others grew. I never felt the need to necessarily change anyone, or debate with anybody. All I felt the need to do was to love on people, tell them about the gospel, and I knew God would do the rest. So I can’t say if it was the Holy Spirit in her… but from my experience, and from the experience I’ve witnessed in others who were close to God, what she had was Christian narcissism as more of a religious practice, rather than a relationship with Christ. I love her still, and don’t wish her anything bad, quite the opposite. I really pray that God touches her heart, and shows her that what she’s doing is wrong, and humbles her. I hope she has a husband and kids and a happy life too!
This describes exactly what I'm going through, she made out her mind is vast and she thinks she is better than other people. The deeper your journey with the lord, the more of a servant you become. She made me feel less than, I was not as good as I should be. We all have our journey, some start small and slow, but its not a race and no one has the right to make you feel bad. The signs were there, I just didn't want to see them, love is blind.
felipebernardes6997 I'm sorry, Brother. But until she can accept accoutability for herself as the Bible calls all believers to do regularly, a Husband and Children are THE LAST things she deserves. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but Narcs just refuse to self reflect b/c they fail to see anything wrong with themselves. If They refuse to self reflect honestly, how can they change & grow in God's ways? It was hard for me to accept when I fell for a narc who also claimed the she was a believer as well. But when I did my research on narcissism, there was little to no promising signs that she would ever change. The fact is, Narcs only see other people only as sources of validation(aka: fuel), They do not see people as people. Plus They do not seek God for validation & love as they should. May I make some recommendations on channels that have helped me undsrstand the narcissist? The Royal We, Shaneen Megji, Batel Skater, Jess Stanley, HG Tudor-knowing the narcissist, DoctorRamani, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach inc., Surviving Narcissism(Dr. Les Carter), Stephanie Lyn Coaching, Danielle Radin, Rebecca Zung, ApplyGodsWord.com/MarkBallanger, Narcissists' Adversaries, David Servant, Ask Anoushka, Tamie M. Joyce, Danish Bashir, Narcissistic Recovery Healing, Kenny Weiss, Richard Grannon, and The Enlightened Target. May The Lord be with You as You heal Brother
This has been my experience too. I don’t feel alone. When people talk about religious abuse they leave the faith entirely. I did at first but came back because of an encounter with God. He is real! I believe that, I also believe the Holy Spirit is real too But my experience has been like yours. I feel guilty for speaking ill of anyone. I want to love others and be truly selfless. Many people want to be pastors, but God called us to love everyone and give to the poor. I want to dedicate my life to philanthropy in my city and loving the homeless + donating to local libraries so kids have that as a resource. Truly God is good ❤ he changes hearts. So many Christians have a lot of pride and are self deceived. The more I learn about God, the more I appreciate his greatest creation: humanity. The more I respect everything he created from animals to the earth. I pray more people find humility in Christ because we need it more than ever
Ive got one of these and it took me years to even realize that I was being emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually abused and destroyed. When you don't know what you are dealing with yet, it's so very confusing and painful. And it doesn't ever end because they started treating you the right way. It only ends when you run and don't look back. I'm trying to work on that now
RELEVANT! WE LIVE IN A NARCISSISTIC SOCIETY AND YOUR MINSTRY LEADS US TO HAVE A GODLY WAY ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. THX FOR YOUR SUBMITTAL TO WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR YOU TO DO!
This was truly very hard to watch. I spent YEARS at a church with a family of Pastors like this, a wife and a husband. These people had two extremely jealous daughters who hated any other youth around them who got an ounce of attention from the congregation. One of the daughters hated me specifically w/ a passion for simply existing. Soon the pastor started treating me like a pariah as well, all to appease his miserable daughter who he knew hated me for NO REASON. I later discovered that the entire family is involved in witchcraft. They aren't even real christians. They literally are witches and warlocks pretending to be christians taking advantage of the message of the gospel. I now understand why the two daughters were so hateful. They are spawns of their evil parents. Thank you for shedding light on this. It is a GREAT problem in many churches.
Wow , I hope that you have found another church and have cut off any contact with them ! Witchcraft is no joke ! Although they have no power over Gods children the demons can attack but not break us! Those people are truly going to reap what they have sown! That is not only mocking our Lord but just pure evil and God is going to deal with them and have the last word! It is true when we as believers can sense demonic activity , it is a unsettling feeling 😮thank God that He is our covering ❤
I am currently going through a "discovery" period with my wife of 35 yrs. She is a vulnerable. This christian part is something that has really confused me. She is the perfect church member in everyone's eyes. Super involved, she is the finance mgr., sunday school teacher, nursery monitor, three days a week member. But at home she is mean, drinks gin and tonics, talks badly about people, complains about everything (I cant say I've ever really heard her compliment anyone). But EVERYONE loves and praises her. She has recently turned on me and in no time has pretty much destroyed my life. I've quit going around people she associates with and this includes going to church. I believed her just like everyone else but just allways told myself she was under stress. She isn't.
Then go talk to someone about it find a real Christian not a fake place that you can get some counseling cuz it’s only going to get worse. Maybe separate for a bit and see how your marriage can be reconciled. But she needs to rededicate her life back to God and please don’t think all believers are like that, but there are a lot of fake Christian people and twisted doctrine out there. So pray about it and ask God to show you what to do . I am so sorry that you are going through this and if you have children they are also . But I do know that God is real and this is not how He is representing himself. He loves you both and would want you to be happy with one another and love each other. So I pray that things change and that you don’t get discouraged or disgusted and that she truly repents and comes to know the Lord. Other than that I pray the right people come and help you ok 👍 But I get it I have a narcissist mom and I know what it’s like . Praying for you both❤
Yes! I tried to teach for a Christian School.I have never felt so completely miserable in my life. They wanted cheap labor and donations of time and money. They wouldn’t allow anyone other than themselves to make decisions. Slavery is painful.
I'm sorry you went through that. I had a humiliating experience at a well known Christian organization years ago so I can relate to yours. 😔 I consider myself to be a Christ follower as sadly, Christians have given Christianity a bad rep. 🥺😔
I’ve seen Christian’s hire druggies because they wanted cheap labor, then try to witness to them , how can they witness to people effectively when they are being cheap and not paying a person what they are worth. Their witness to the druggie they are taking advantage of, is that they are being cheap.
Yes V m as you described it slavery out of which the Lord has worked for us to be out of these bandage and love 💕 the Lord worshiping Him in spirit and in truth. God is every where as Jesus says we focus on Him alone God bless you thanks gor sharing
Actually the most toxic thing is jealousy, envious and insecurities, also the malignant Narcissistic, I have dealt with malignant Narcissistic and their jealousy
It’s heartbreaking when you realize the full capacity of what these people are and how hard it is to deal with them especially if they’re your children or family members that are supposed to be having your back🙌😓
In my case it’s my son. This video sounds exactly like him. I’m sorry to say I had to go no contact with him. He has done everything in the book to try and win at life against me when there’s no contest. I pray that he will take the necessary steps to get counseling but you know he will never admit to doing anything wrong.
Yes. Dead on. One of the most evil, cruel people I’ve ever encountered was a narcissistic pastor. Biggest phony I’ve ever seen. Made a large donation to a local family and advertised it all over FB. So humble lol. Have gone No Contact and will never have anything to do with them again
I had a pastor 20 years ago that was so cruel to me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I recently found out that during this time he was having an affair. It all makes sense now.
I was called " evil" one time by someone who supposedly was a follower of God. It worried me because this person had no evidence that I was evil. It was said out of the blue. But through observation, I eventually saw their evil side. I later came to realize it is not me that is evil me it was them.
Having been recommended to watch this video, I unreservedly agree with you. I recently summarised the research on Psychopaths in Churches - an extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder - and my mailbox overflowed with dreadul stories like the comments you have had on here. It is heartbreaking to read these. Keep up your good work. Blessings.
They point out everyone else’s sins while making excuses for their own. My “Christian” sister tells me I wear too much makeup, I dress inappropriately, she doesn’t see fruit, I am drifting away from God. All she does is criticize. I was in a fashion show at church for charity. Instead of being proud of me, she criticized me for using the church to glorify myself. I didn’t sponsor it, the church did. It was a ladies lunch and fashion show on Saturday afternoon to raise money for a charity for abused women. All I did is say yes when they asked me to be in it. The clothes were not sexy. They were for old ladies and very conservative.
Only when you go no contact and allow God to remove them and their Filth (they refuse to submit to God and let God Him deal with it) will you ever have peace. Initiallly it might be painful but then and only then will you be out of the narcissistic fog they put you in and you will see clearly and wonder why you tolerated it for so long🙏
30 years of my life in a marriage with a covert, 'Christian ' narcissist with a very crazy mind. So much abuse, oppression and woundedness. Praise God for his faithfulness to take care of the righteous. Everything you discussed was my life for 30 years.
I was in a relationship and lived with a narcissistic man for 2 and a half years and it utterly destroyed me. A year after I was free Jesus saved me (last year). I am finally healing from these experiences thanks to God's overwhelming love and care. Now, I'm confronted with a sister in our congregation who triggers the hell out of me. I noticed very quickly that she is a narcissist as well. It's very tough because of the trauma I've been through with my ex. I spend a vast amount in prayer to be able to deal with it and I often feel bad/guilty for not being able to love her properly. These videos help to understand how to deal with such things. Is there any hope for her? I wonder how a Christian can be and act like that, repeatedly. It's energy and time consuming. Thank you for the tips. God bless you 🌻
I feel you, Noony! Since I've had covid and been bedridden for 7 months and not being able to go to church, the saying is true you know who your friends are when you're sick. My two best Sisters in Christ that I trusted (that is absolutely almost impossible for me) for 2 years have broken my heart. One never even calls to ask how I am, the other has just turned out to be an information gatherer and a gossip who wants to just argue with everything I say, tell my future ex, and even blame me for the problems of abuse since I married the new, fake Christian narcissist man that's came to our church last year. His mask came off the next day. It's been a year of pure hell between him, having chronic fatigue syndrome activated by his abuse daily, his sexual sadism which I finally cut him off, and never ending almost daily rages, screaming and raving and cursing and slamming the door when he storms out until last time when it came off the hinge when I threw him out for the last time. I just got served with annulment papers last week. She basically called me a liar when I told something he said that froze my blood. She just flat out said he didn't say that, kept insisting he didn't and if he did it was just kidding. I said ,"were you here to witness that conversation? You don't even know him!" This woman is unbelievable. She's a small town, protected, sheltered very nosy busybody and naive woman who was a nurse for a year in the 80s. I was a nurse for 13 years internal medicine in the fourth largest city in the US. I have figured her out since I've had no lack of narcissists in my life in fact 99% of all people I've ever known have fallen into that category. Her problem is her ego is hurt when I know things that she doesn't or when I've experienced and witnessed things that she can't even imagine. She went from passive aggressive to downright aggressive when I got sick. While I'm so sick, I can't breathe when I try to walk, I'm in s wheelchair now. I can see that she is always competing with me, and her ego gets hurt when I tell her you can't possibly know where I'm coming from, because you've never been there. I got a text out of the blue the other day because I got started on the medication I needed badly and the first day I could tell I was an interaction and there was. I told her that when she asked if I was feeling better. 2 hours later she texted me "it just floors me that you expect doctors to help you when you don't even level with them". She wasn't in the office at my appt. I was so angry but God helped me to send a civil text back and I said "could you maybe reserve a little of your judgment on conversations I've had that you weren't there for? He prescribed both of those, and I more than level with them, otherwise I can't get the treatment I need". She's been at that church her whole life, and is the one who knows everything about everybody and thinks she is Ms. Doctor to everybody. But there are some others at the church who have come forward and I've gotten to know better and it's been a blessing. Narcs are everywhere now just like the Bible said in the end times, people will be boastful, full of pride, lovers of themselves, lovers of money, without natural affection, etc. I pray for her but I won't be giving her any more information. I pretty much gone gray rock on her if she asks. Then of course she got all sweet and asked me if I needed something out of their garden. She's not going to Hoover me back in. And I found that you can't talk or reason with a narc, so between her and my ex being there I'm probably just going to find a new church. I think that's what God wants for me and that's why this is happening. I would seriously grey rock or better, go no contact with your narc. Make friends with somebody else that you haven't maybe known well, don't sit with her. It will make her angry but we don't go to church to be tortured by demons even though there's a lot of them there at every church. Satan's doctrines of demons have infiltrated every church building, but as you know the true church isn't who's in the building! Maybe it's time for you to find another one. God has a good way of leading us away from bad things to better things. I know he has work for me to do and it's probably somewhere else. Just pray to him to guide you, pray for this sadly demonically possessed woman just like I do for my ex. It has taken a ton of prayer to get to where I can pray for him for real, the anger and betrayal is so familiar to me I didn't think I could possibly be fooled again. I ignored the red flags, thinking maybe God is blessing me with a good Christian man now that I'm saved. Just let Him guide you. Pray a lot about it because dealing with these demons can turn nasty and dangerous. And yes, they are demon possessed. I spent almost 30 years as a "white witch" doing all kinds of healings and spells and readings and mediumship professionally, so I've witnessed more than my share of demonic possession. If she comes at you again like that tell her demons to stand down In The Name of Jesus Christ, proceed to pray for her or read the Bible and you will see how paralyzed she gets, or she may just run, literally run away. Another clue is their pupils dilate all the way, their eyes are totally black and sometimes even the whites too. If you try to talk to them you'll know that person is not in there. The voice can change dramatically and they will spew nonsense. If you're filled with the Holy Spirit, then you have authority over them. I wouldn't try to cast them out though because most of these people will not get saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and the demon will return with seven more more wicked than himself. If it were me I would just gray rock/no contact. It's saddens me so much that there aren't any really true Churches anymore, most of them have totally conformed themselves to the world and devoted themselves to entertainment in a 10 minute watered down false gospel of easy believism. Jesus predicted all of this and it's here which means he is at the door after the Antichrist is discovered and a one world order is in place. I know so this sounds crazy but you would not believe what I have seen in my life, and much of it it's so I can give testimonies and help people recognize fake and lukewarm Christians, so that I can also and try to bring them to the TRUTH of Jesus Christ. God bless you and I pray you get an answer soon. 🛐✝️🙏💖🤗😘🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Any advice for me. I’m 21 years old married to a 55 year old. She doesn’t like to admit when she is wrong. She doesn’t respect that I have family friends I grew up with. She doesn’t want me in contact with sisters in Christ & I feel like that’s not normal being that I’m called to ministry. Any advice ? I feel like divorcing
Your words spoke to my heart! I am actually coming out of a relationship with a minister who is a narcissist. Every word you spoke applies to the pain I have endured and still endure. The layers of confusion are the best way to describe this. All my life i believe in Jesus Christ our Savior and never had my walk with the Lord attacked so maliciously! All points in your video has been done to me but then he turns into the victim. Doing any good deeds for me where later thrown back in my face and then announce to the world that he was doing the work of the Lord. I am praying everyday and rebuilding my relationship with the Lord. Thank you again for sharing this video!🙏🏽🙌🏽💜
Self righteous, arrogant beyond contempt, the broadcasting of their belief in God and their very visible Christian deeds are totally in opposition to their inauthentic selves. Impossible to get close to, be accepted by them. They believe they are God. Coverts are lethal. This is a brilliantly, insightful commentary. Bless
The overly broadcasting or wearing it on clothing too much ( maybe that’s a bit bit picky but it irks me) tend to throw up false flags to me. A new or returning Christian can be excited for a time but the relax after awhile. It’s the long term of the self righteous broadcasting that just feels fake and for show.
The most difficult is to discern a "christian narcissist" online. It's easy to develop bonds online with those who are likeminded and become friends. People can be whatever they want to portray online and you don't really know them. These signs you gave eventually come out even in online friendships if you give it time. People can't help but eventually betray their true selves. It's good to know what to look for and to hold online relationships at arm's length until a person is proven true. I've had some who tried to draw me into their inner circle, use me for their means, manipulate, gaslight, and finally I had to cut myself off from them. I've also made some very dear Christian friends online that have proven to be true.
Ginny just like what happend to me…I was pur through a total chaos and mockings, cursing and the list goes on what happend only God knows the full extent how I was used . Thank you for sharing your experience! Behind close doors many children of God going through the same trials and tribulations. In the end God is turning everything around for our God and what really matters that We mature in Jesus and love ! The true friends I have online are few but I know God knows what He is doing. Blessings , Adrienne
Narcissists do well online and social media platforms. I've met a covert narcissist who claimed to be a Christian married woman with 2 kids. Her words and behaviours online are selfish and deceitful, putting others down. Plain demonic
Yes, the online ones are the worst. There is only one pastor on line that I really like. I had a narc friend who loves to be online and fool his followers.
You just explained how my wife is exactly. My kids saw it before me. I have been pulling my hair out. Trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong even going as far thinking I’m the problem and the narcissist myself. Everything you just shared in thisvideo is how my wife is..
I called out a narc at my church (I was tired of her stories and lies), and her face completely changed as her 'mask' fell off. She blasted me in front of a room full of people and then immediately tried to triangulate with another person to side with her. It was quite the thing. The church elders took _months_ to finally kick her out of the church, offering her counselling and support (which of course she didn't take b/c she didn't see she had any issues), and this was after multiple people had been hurt by her. The lack of discernment and education about narcs in the church is sad, and I pray more people wake up to these types of people to better protect themselves and the church body.
I am terrified and yet blessed to come cross Kris Reece. I am in a Narcissist marriage exhausted, confused, tired and stuck & don’t feel the strength to get out.
I was seriously abused by an aggressive Christian narc, he was an ex criminal who had supposedly repented in prison but in actuality he had redirected his bullying perverse energy into a coercive controlling form of piety, i was gaslight and controlled in away i never expected as i thought christians were meant to be good people, some are but some are still unhealed and have just redirected their narcissism.
Just found out about you, I listened to this,you are wonderful,was with one for over ten yrs,she discarded me and it hurt so much.i spent so much money and did everything for her.she claimed she was a Christian fooled me I didn't know what s narcissist was.thank you and God bless.
You'll also notice they tend to show up to a party with nothing. They will pretend to help you by opening up the potato chips and eating them. Opening up a container that happens to have what they want, and start eating it right out of the jar, helping themselves...even without washing their hands. They see what will serve them first, and most of the time ONLY THEM.
I have heard the Word Narcissist before but never understood until now! It is the most accurate description of my Sister! She thinks she's better than everyone else, she LOVES the Spotlight and beware if you do something she disapproves of! Out comes her Bible and she Beats you over the Head with it!! She is my Parents FAVORITE Daughter! I am the Black Sheep and can do NOTHING right! I have so much to learn about this Toxic Trait and I NEED more of God to heal me of my Brokenness!! 🙏
Yes, and always in the limelight with superior knowledge. One more thing I encountered was constant interruption saying, wait let ME lead in prayer...a long praise and worship prayer.
I came across one, she never wants to help me even when she knows of my condition and frustrations, instead telling me I should get baptized, I did all but she still insist that I should seek the Holy Spirit and looks down on me telling me she can't help an unbaptized person, really rude
Excellent breakdown! I noticed key word "fake" in the 7 descriptions, which is the crux of a true narcissist. People are baffled by "Christian" narcissism, often bewildered. They expect to see the sanctified "newness" at play, but instead see some of the ugliness of the flesh. Thus begs the question, "Is this person truly born again, or are they just putting on the facade of religion in order to feel better about themselves?" (2 Tim 3:1-4) Thank you for this video. God Bless!
yes the first sign of a person being born again is humbleness humility and an overwhelming desire to shed all selfish ambition and follow the lord completely..a new creation from the old self.
My parents are both Christian but my dad always apologized when an apology was due to us kids. He would humble himself. My mother, on the other hand, felt she was always right regardless if she provoked us to wrath. My daddy went home to be with the Lord. I’m still here going through trials and tribulations with my mother. After a visit, i take up to a month away from her to detox. I keep talking to my daddy and God to keep my faith going. The devil is a liar and can use anyone as a tool. My goal is to fill my father’s shoes.
I was married to a narcissist person for 24 years who proclaim to be Christian and read the Bible everyday goes out of his way to show people that he's good. But closed doors he has nothing but an evil person I finally got away from. I prays God for delivery our family from him.
My mom has Cancer, in ordering to control my brother and make him feel guilty, she tells him she is dying of cancer. To everyone else, she is healed.. I cringe. But say nothing.
Oh my goodness thank you. I am in the UK I have been a member of my local church for a few years. A year ago a person swept into Church people were saying how wonderful she was. I am very open but my spirit was very cautious. As time went on I became more anti. I prayed and prayed about my reaction examining if I was jealous or being silly. But they got baptized and came onto the committee. I felt more distance . Last week we had a small meeting about Christmas myself the vicars wife and this person. We got onto Faith and the comment was made " I believe in God I think but I can't trust him to deal with my future as I can't let go of my anxiety and cannot give him tomorrow " To say I was shocked is an understatement. God is my future I would not be here today without trusting my future to Him. I have decided to remove myself from this small church that has became in awe of this person.
I've been praying hard. Asking God to help me see things as objectively as possible and through His perspective, but I'm still grieving over a recent relationship that has proven through education like this, to be completely toxic/narcissistic/unbiblical. I was missing my friend, who was more than a friend to me and going over past behaviors and patterns, and everything is making more sense as I get more versed with this. For the first time, after listening to your videos, by God's grace, I can see myself moving forward and not being as downcast as before. I am still going to pray for my friend, ZC, because I truly care for him, and I feel sorry for him despite all the hurt he has caused my heart. Only God knows why he is the way he is. We live in such a broken world. I'm just glad I had an opportunity from the Lord to witness to him, and hope that he truly was sincere in repenting and accepting Jesus as his Savior. I will keep praying that God will transform his heart of stone into a heart of flesh. God bless you for your encouragement and all these insights.
Thank you so much for this, it made me realise my own shortcomings and challenges but also gave me the release to cut ties with a needy/ narcissistic person without the feeling of guilt and being a bad Christian for giving up on them. The free PDF is a priceless gift!
Never MEASURE a man in the good times.. MEASURE them when it gets HARD.. " that is who they really are.. believe it. 2 TIMOTHY 3 Test the spirits and dont be in the habit of collecting RED FLAGS. REPENT AND COME OUT FROM AMONGST THEM AND BE SEPARATED SAYS THE LORD OF HOST.. TOUCH NOT THE UNCLEAN THING AND I WILL RECEIVE YOU. WAKE UP NEIGHBORS AND FOLLOW JESUS NOT MORTAL MEN.. BIBLE BEFORE BELLY.
And because narcissists are so powerfully drawn to need adoration and the ability to control others, they will naturally gravitate toward leadership positions in the church. The closer you get to inner leadership circles, the more likely you are to encounter narcissism.... especially if YOU aspire to leadership.
I have been married to this person for over 30 years. Has used Scripture so skillfully to get what he wants, but not to examine himself. I am a broken human for staying.
I would like to add 2 things to watch out for in church....people who fake smiles and interest when talking to elderly chuch members or visitors...and people who seem to be praying, head bowed, but are actually taking sly glances around them. It isn't nice to have to be on guard in church but much better than suffering.
Narcissist motto, nothing beats giving like getting. Entitled to time, energy, your business, money and more. Whatever you have that they want they believe they deserve. They are the cheapest people you’ll ever meet. Cut them off. Dust off your feet and move on.
I was married to one for 4 years, two months and three days. Couldn’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, our daughter’s personality is just like his. She was a strong willed child. At age 50, she got mad at me because she couldn’t control me on a certain situation so, she cut me out of her life, said I was the reason for her anger issues and she never wanted to see or talk to me again! She hasn’t had a relationship with her adult son for almost a year and hasn’t seen her grandson but once since he was born, 7 months ago. Our family has fallen apart since she got mad a me. It’s so sad but I can’t have a conversation with her. If you don’t agree with her on any issue, she will shut you down and blame everything on you…….me, that is! 🙏🏻. We go to he same church!! 😢
Ready to learn how to identify and deal with difficult people? Grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
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The books of Matthew Mark Luke and John according to Hebrews 9 or Old Testament because Christ was still alive in that time. Now it's true we should read every book in the Bible but you have to understand not every book is talking directly to us it's all for our learning and growing and understanding but it's not all directly doctrinally to us. What a narcissistic Christian does is they say they're Christian but all they do is use scripture outside of its context as a means to control or manipulate people they don't really believe in the Bible they believe in what they see or what they feel not what they know. Trust me I grew up in a very narcissistic family my father got very high before I was born and he was about 85 lb in an angel appeared in front of him and told him yes and according to him he believed it meant that as of this moment he was saved from the angel which is directly opposite of what the scripture says according to the Apostle Paul salvation is a free gift to anyone that will believe meaning anyone can get salvation if they trust the gospel which is trusting him with Christ alone for salvation my father never did this to this very day he still hasn't done this he believes that his experience is what saves his soul not scripture and it doesn't matter to him that he was high Because he believes in his experience. Because of this he raised me and my siblings on a false perception of Doctrine he raised us to believe we could lose our salvation and that we had to act and walk and talk and live according to what he says which is not biblical at all. Because of this nonsense my childhood was full of physical and emotional abuse like crazy. It did not help that both of my parents knew that me and my brother were dyslexic so we couldn't read until we were 13 and because we were isolated in the country we didn't have the ability to speak to people or to sit down and really talk about issues or ask questions because our minds were shaped by our narcissistic parents. Whenever we would question their belief system they would beat us and it got so bad that I actually had a psychotic break because it was so abusive. This last year my brother has tried to kill himself three times because of the narcissistic abuse he went under from my parents. And now that we know the Bible and we've read the whole Bible cover to cover and we understand what the gospel is its faith alone. My father has literally denied the Apostle Paul and now denies areas of the Bible that do not correlate with his experience is drug-fueled experience so they're deluded narcissists who don't know what they're talkin about. And have robbed most of their children of their education I remember when my mother looked at me in the eyes and said that her education mattered more than me and my brothers and then decided to give up on our education. She then poured all of her time into becoming a nurse practitioner. There's a TH-cam channel called Grace Bible ambassadors Pastor Steve watch his video series Jesus wasn't talking to you trust me it's a good series
The best people survival guide that I'm aware of is the "Holy Scriptures, which are irrefutable, unchangeable, the world's all-time bestseller and the only book that has withstood the test of time. PTL!
Would love to see something on how to survive toxic adult children and the worldwide phenomenon that afflicts 1 in 8 people.
Are you running this workshop again...or do you have it recorded for viewing?
They go crazy when people disagree with them
Amen!
Amen to that!
Sure gets difficult when you begin to set boundaries and they come unhinged
They get "defensive".
Yeah true but some disagree in a very rude way
Their narcissistic behavior drives you insane , and when you lose your marbles….they say you have a probate mind.
.
I can’t tell you how much I want to die already.
1. Feels superior
2. Assumes you are stupid
3. Will abandon you in your darkest and I mean darkest hour.
4. Giving to get
5. Fake sincerity
6. Coldly disregards those he or she can’t use.
7. Give to get in return
8. In a crisis they bail
9. Not apologetic… Blames you.
10. Will cut you out for petty reasons
11. Petty.
I have actually had one apology from a Narc. It was insincere & immediately followed by a "but you did...."
Girl he waited until I was at my lowest point and left me broken 💔
All true. I went thru cancer she said she was going to leave me after chemotherapy. She sells our 1st home. 6 months later, she buys a new home, we went to Vegas, I get her pregnant with our 3rd child. Once our 3rd child was born, she said she was divorcing me for "incompatibility" reasons. "She settled and can do better". Shes about to be 35 yrs old. She developed epilepsy during the 3rd pregnancy and now has it as a daily struggle. She got into an accident from a seizure with 2 of our 3 kids in the car. We also had sex 4 times the week of our divorce. She even said "I get off early ill come by and we can have sex one last time before we go to final mediation". She is crazy. Im so much better without her. However, Im not sure when ill be ready for another relationship. Im thankful to God for our 3 beautiful children.
I agree!!!
Terrifyingly accurate.
phoniness
1. Fake humility (Philippians 2:3)
2. Fake niceness
3. Fake sincerity (Matthew 5:37) Tell you what they think that you want to hear
4. Fake giving (Matthew 23:5)
5. Fake faith (James 2:17)
6. Fake repentance
7. Fake thankfulness
You make a great point. The most important sermon ever ( the sermon on the mount) and you show how much of it deals in some way with this same topic. Well done
Mvp
Good list
Description of my siblings
Fruitless
I am a child of a narcissistic pastor 😥 They are a good pastor but behind family closed doors... well.. God is helping me heal.
So sorry 😞 In my opinion,a religious narcissist is the worst of them all.No one truly believes a person can be a narcissist and have a relationship with God at the same time.
@@PrincessMiriam0 that's always been my thought. Like how? How can you say you care or know God?
If your father is following God then he is not a narcissist. Because then you're saying God is. If your father is doing things that are out of the Bible then he is doing one of the seven things God hates
I'm sorry Traclyn, please be encouraged. That is not how our heavenly father is. He Loves you and will help you. Continue to pray for your father because In the end we all have to answer to God, no matter what title we hold.
@@PrincessMiriam0
They cannot.
Narccissist Christians shame others for having different beliefs. and the manipulation is horrible.
Fundamental narcissistic people are the worse
"Christian" and "Narcissist" are inherent contradictions -- in terms -- the antithesis of each other. Now, if you mean narcissists and pseudo-christians . . . , you're on to something.
Like my parents who raised me in a Christian household
Narcissistic People must be Respected just "because",red flags 1.older
2.Minister,
I've tried understanding RESPECT unearned but demanded ,What causes that??
@追譯逝水年華 Christian and Narcissist seem opposite spectrums SELF/Christian
With an emphasis on reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing, churches (in my opinion) are the single best possible place for both covert and overt narcissists to find an enabling community who will always welcome them, and even elevate them.
FACTSSSSSSSSSS
There secret will be shouted from the rooftops.
True. I met two of them
Agree! Church is where we think we are in fellowship with like-minded people , can be more open with ourselves and our emotion. The best place for narcissists to find hosts for the emotional parasitism .
I agree!!! There’s something about a church that has always turned me off, even the small fellowship I loved and attended for years. I was full of Gods love and knowledge and then people seemed to have another face to them. It became wry clicky and overnight so many dropped out and never returned.
I did too after the sarcastic remarks towards me.
I was told once that being a Christian is between you and our Heavenly Father (God). I research and read and speak all day with God. And yes, I can be a hand full at times, but we always work it out ❤😂❤
I’m very appreciative of this sharing.
Yes, religious narcs r out there. I met a few of them. They r very knowledgeable in the Bible and can also be very cruel. It can be very confusing.
Married one...HORRIBLE! What's worse...the church enables them!
I was married to one..left me devastated discouraged in the Lord etc..iv quit going to church. He trashed my name in 3churches. It has turned me ugly. I guess Satan won. Gossip..no stating a fact..👊 I was the outsider so church family believes him. Had to church hop he would lie about me dump me..ofcourse gdt back with me r han b embarrassed to b seen with me..so new church here we come. The Bible says Jesus will defend ur name.🤔 he never did..I tried to..few of the women could c thru his vicodine addition fakeness high all the time. But he fooled others with his dancing praise&"worship praying like a layman in tongues regularly titled got 2 big settlements wich both times left me didnt want me to know he had received them..bot himself meaning things breaking promises to me after I supported him no income. & gives pastor a gift of money..knows the scripture front to back..he was in a Christian rehab for 18 months..if u cussed or did anything wrong u had to write scriptures..ya he definitely knows the word. Helps the pastors Dad keeps him company helps out on the farm..gets free meals etc. Anyway..im left being jezzibell😪 so discouraging python monitor leviathan spirits have snuffed my light out. I hope everyone is happy now. They can praise & adore his rotten spoiled fruit. I loved this man with all my heart. 2hrs of deliverance on him annoited pastor said he's friends with his familiars &:won't let go. I saw the dark hallow eyes smirk in corner of his mouth voice changes..stays up all night pacing talking to himself but like conversation with someone else alwys about me calling whore terrible things I lay in bed shaking sometimes he would stand next to bed just staring at me I wouldn't move. 3 times physically assaulted me twice in front of my grandkids I lost my grandkids for2yrs. Once he clamped his teeth on my nose in bed in the dark& just held it there for while. I told him he was sick inhumane who does crazy ceap like this??!! A Man of God does..yep there u go...im done...iv lost faith courage iv lost me I lost my son 4yra ago the narc wasn't even there for me..he was home getting high with the young people. He likes younger girls. There u go..im full of gossip demons 👊 I didnt go to work today..im beside myself..😪
@@michellemansker8222 I’m so sorry to hear of all that you have been through. x
There are spirtual narcs too. Charismatic types who believe in the gifts in the spirit and might be very anointed. What gives them away is poor character, lack of sanctification and often rebellion.
What does a real student of biblical doctrine do when a narc comes to you asking for you to join their Bible study and they smell like marijuana? I'm not judging, I'm not offended either because that's the bait of Satan. My only question is who smokes when they read scripture? Purity is still right, as is humility and holiness. Just because it's legalized now? I don't know anyone who does what this person was doing, and somehow I'm not surprised. They want help is right. The only way is to do the work.
My ex used to quote scriptures that only made sense to her. She has to win all the time, very conditional no empathy, mocks, emasculates, always calls the shots, interrupted Bible studies, demands the man leads yet doesn't submit, no trust, can't let go of things, blames accusations and hates them claims to love.
We’ll be glad you got away! I would have run for my life also ! Let her be miserable all by herself. You go heal and have peace and happiness and one day real love with a giving woman who has things in common with you and smiles and is passionate with you and loves God sincerely ❤ I wish you the best 😊
@@christopherglock7239 you described exactly my x husband of 20 years and when I got the courage to walk out of the marriage, he told me that God doesn't approve divorce because its not HIS will but I should instead remain married to him and suffer like Christ because its a christian thing to do.
I guess I am far from being one of Gods favourite child because of my divorce and my failures 😔
@@fionageorgakis699 God also hates rage, manipulation, guiltripping and twisting his word for selfish reasons.
Mine is the exact same way! I am getting out tomorrow!
I have gad seizures bc of what he put me through. NO MORE!
You just described my mother. I have been no contact with her for a year. My life has gotten better. I am gaining clarity. …what a gift.
This is my mother as well. I usually goes years with no contact. However, when I do start having a relationship again with her it starts all over again. I fortunately live 750 miles away from her. I feel sorry for her, but cannot take her yelling and screaming at me all of a sudden out of the blue. I try to honor her from a distance and pray for her☹️
That’s beautiful!!
After 47 years of a narcissistic mother, it CHANGED last year around Christmas.
She defends me, she seeks me out and is kind respectful and caring with me. She is very careful. Opposite of her old ways.
Bc of my narcissist fiance gossiping with her and making her explode at me( just after I held Thanksgiving for the family) I became a tornado of emotion inti the 2 of them. I told her she had the spirit of fornication on her, having emotional affairs. I kicked him out. One of my sister's became very corned that I would hurt my mother. My mother imlives in my street and she was also concerned I could hurt her bc of the height of my angry and emotional words to her. So my sister arranged a group chat wirh the 5 of us. I exposedmy mothers mistreatment of me and expmained to them that they may not have experienced any of this from' their' mother. She Only needed one vomit bin and I was it. She goes against me in every relationship, even that of my children. She divides us, gossips,judges slanders my family, does not have one word of hope for us and does not have our best interest. When my infant daughter died at 2 months old, my mom said she believes the funeral director thre her body in the dumpster rather than bother either such a small coffin. And she laughed. I was mind blown. My ex husband is still considered family and calls her mom. Although he is a womanizer.
I am often excluded from gatherings.
Anyway, now I have grandchildren and I want to protect my family ( my mom was being cynical about them,their mom and the situation with the childrens' mom stopping us from seeing g the babies)
I left gifts at my moms door and a card apologizing for my behavioral outburst. She did not call or text acknowledgeme t.
Anyway,the next week I explained my trauma on the group text w my mom and sister's. since childhood, the emotional issues it led to, the labeling it led to, and as an adult the relationship trauma it led to. I used I statements. I did not accuse my mom. I described things that my mom said or did and how it made me feel.
And how I am forgiving and how I have to disconnect Completely from her in order to stop the continued Cycle of destruction in my life. I empathized with my mother,that she kept me alive and well for years, taught me about Jesus, and acknowledged that she may not have realized what she was doing to harm me bc it was 99 percent non violent/physical. I told them she pushed me down as a toddler. And for a nurturer to do that can create a confused monster.i have anger issues (also learned behavior and DNA!)Thankfully I have been a pedi nurse for 21 yrs. My Mom is a retired nurse; became a Nurse 54 yrs ago.
My sisters where dumbfounded, sympathetic.
For the first time.
My mother did not defend herself.
The next month I came to our annual Christmas eve mother daughter brunch. My mom was so relieved that I came. She did not make any statements or apology. But her hugs and saying I love you, I love you showed she was Making an effort. her hugs felt a lot warmer than ever before.she smiled a lot at the 4 of us. Took pictures.
Since Christmas, I have seen her avoid gossip about me,
She changed the subject, started saying no and ran off the another room when my son started complaining about me.
I help her care for my Aunt a few days a week. We swap meals often. The relationship does not feel strained; that elephant that I always felt in the room with her is gone.
It has only been a few months and she could revert. ..but I do not believe she wants the consequences of a divided family by her being cut off (my dad divorced her years ago)
What worked for me was
Having the opportunity of a focused platform whether a counselor, group chat, or intervention. Just for my story, an attentive audience including my mom.
Describe each event of what was said and/or done to me and how I felt ... May impact any mothers heart.
God is able!! Keep the hope.
Chances are You are the narcissist and disrespect people including parents. You are most likely ashamed of something You did and need to blame Her
The devil wants You to disrespect and go no contact w parents because it hurts them and You the puppet
We must learn to try the spirits...and by their fruits you shall know them...ask God to give us the spirit of wisdom...
But, it's super difficult to see it in your parents, especially your mom. You just believe it's normal living, until decades later like myself, sibling, and his child (My nephew)...it started to make sense. We just thought she was like that because she had a troubled past with her father, and family members. I just thought because she profess Har salvation in Jesus that she was going to change! Wrong!
No trying , just doing what you need to inforce the fact that it's your turn to step up or keep getting stepped on . Wake the people up , don't let them stay sleep (blind)
I've been Hearing ,For 11 years God is telling her this and that,and NEVER anything for her to do to fix things with people that she says hurt or" lies" on her,everyone changed and came to her, is she that perfect that she never has to go to anyone and forgive anyone ??
So true! How is The Covert Narcissist in my life a Deacon Candidate of the Roman Catholic Church? He does not treat me in Christian Fellowship.
Amen Sheila 🙏🏼🤍🦾
The most dangerous narcissist is the wolf in SHEPARD’S clothing.
Nicely stated.
Yep. Along with "Malignant Narcissists."
Sooʻoo true
Praise The Lord
Narcissists in general are great actors, they can play any part & make you really believe they are 100% sincere...the real deal, but your spirit will nudge you and let you know they're off because true kindness, humility, compassion, will not vaunt itself, it will not puff itself up, & these people will throw their fake virtues in your face so you can see just how spiritual they are. Real authentic Christians will have & hold these virtues even when (no one is looking) & applauding their performance!
I would like to add another sign to be wary of in a romantic relationship. If you are being rushed and or pressured to commit, that is a sign of something off as well. I don't mean 3 years in, I mean 6 months into the relationship there is an urgency that doesn't correlate with the time spent getting to know each other.
Yes because their mask can only last so long so they want to marry you before they start showing their real colors
@@VivClement Yes, and because they do not want to respect the needs of the partner. They think they deserve it to have everything immediately that they want.
Happened to my mother as well as myself.
It's sad but this happend to me. On point!
Happing to me right now
Just wow! I was raised by a narcissist and then married to one for 32 years. He was a youth minister and Christian school teacher. It was awful.
I married one too. It took me years to figure out why i ended with a spouse like him because he was nothing like my father. He was just like my mother…
27 years and I just found out … how?
Wasted 30 years on my narc spouse. The evil is prolific.
Good grief... you have been through so much! The Lord must really love you for the devil to try to take you out so bad. Praying you are well, blessed and enjoying freedom with Jesus. God bless!
@@leonordelagarza2902
28yrs for me.
A true christian would be humble (most likely selfless) and "let" you give them something instead of "make" you give them something. No asking or demanding necessary.
Well please show me a real christian 😂
@elohiymkingdom9453 look for one instead of asking you'll find it, I know
@@elohiymkingdom9453❤❤ Hy-lo is one ❤❤👽
@@masterjose8483really? We will know them by their fruits
Thank you for your insight Kris. My narcissistic mother was so religious growing up but it was just for show. We were made to be on time for church or she’d yell at us. We were told to be nice, be well behaved, act Christian. But when church was over my mother would gossip about everyone in the church on the way home. She was petty, jealous and talked cruelly of other church members. During the week though I guess she forgot she was a Christian woman because she would hate, berate, neglect us, be very late picking us up from school even though we had to be very early for church to protect our perfect image as a family. It was all a sham. She was and still is a divisive, hateful, controlling, manipulative narcissistic woman to this day in her 80’s. She lies and gossips constantly. I told her that is sinning. She hasn’t apologized nor repent for anything she has done, ever. I have since experienced many many religious, covert, so called altruistic narcissists. What a bunch of hypocrites they are. They hide behind their religion to victimize, abuse, control, manipulate and destroy people. I don’t want to see any of them in Heaven.
My "mom" is a narcissist. Goes to church every week + Bible study volunteers in the pantry, and watches Biblical movies all day.
My 86 yo (healthy) MoMster is deep in religion & I'm the bad son, the Monster that's been a difficult child. I turned "special needs" @ 45 by mother's legal bound final wishes so EVERY CHILD HOOD MEMORY COULD BE TRUSTED TO BY SIBLING TO FINISH ME OFF!
My dad and mom! My dad was the evil malignant one. My mom hated me when I became. Christian. I had the Light within and it reminded her that the cult she belonged to was fake. Both parents came to Jesus in their later years.
My mother and grandmother are narcissists. They adopted me, my brother and girl. She had a girl naturally born who was the golden child. All the adopted children were the family black sheep. They made us go to church on Sunday and Wednesday. I was made to go to the church middle school and high school. When I was in 10th grade my parents went through a nasty divorce and ruined my high school years. Their narcissism came out on full display during and after their divorce. They both accused each other of adultery as an excuse to get divorced and make each other appear to be the bad guy. I would hear them fighting a lot in the office room in our house. It was traumatic for me to witness their divorce and afterwards I was the one who they leaned on for emotional support.
Why do you think she watches those movies all day. Does she do this in front of other people?
@@RS54321 part of the image she likes to portray. Narcissist are all about their image and how ppl view them. If they are views as loving, Godly, etc...and you do something against them then not only are the "victim", but you are now proving everything (negative) they said about you. I ppl that attend church are more loving, caring, etc.. and more willing to help "those less fortunate". So, going to church gives that " eventhough I'm struggling, I'm thanking God for all my blessings" appeal.
When you disagree or give them constructive criticism watch out!!
that has been my experience as well
Oh my goodness, yes! I had this slap me upside the head with a family member I will not name. I thought she was such a godly loving woman until I pointed something out that disturbed me. My question turned her into a screaming rage machine. It was crazy! It took me years to untangle what in the world was going on with her. I had to have three different people who I talked to about her confusing behavior to (none of them knew her, she lives in a different state and this wasn't the only thing, it was just my wake-up call) tell me she was a narcissist before it got through. Now when I see her I just keep my mouth shut since she likes to twist everything around to be negative and make sure she isn't terrible to my children. She really likes to find someone to pick on. Another thing I had to learn the hard way. 😢 She talks bad about other ppl if she has no one else to put her meanness on. All done in a sweet voice of helpfulness though. It's disturbing.
Been dealing with toxic people since I was a child before the word "Narcissism" came about in the 90s. Family, relatives and associates claiming to be Christians and good people as they learn all they can about you then turn the tables to persecute you and of course they don't remember the past as it's too painful for them to make the effort and introspect.
Same here now I'm trying to get my life together and it's so difficult and hard pray for me .. I also have codependent issues I was raised like this ever since I was a little boy and my mom's womb my father I know my mom she was trying to do it protect me at the same time it's like I don't know how to get out into the real world cuz all it does is now I'm dealing with life and I don't know how to go about getting back on every time I go out in life those are the people that come in to my life anybody have any suggestions or ideas what I should do I'm open for help..
How true.
@@ericknight1941 Praying for you Eric!
You deserve the spiritual support and the family in Christ who truly love and serve others in a Christ like manner. Remember your soul needs healing.
Check out Kate Souza’s ministry. She is teaching on healing of the soul and very important to focus on God in this process for you. God loves you , and You are called for such a time as this.
Seek true relationship from God and He will send the right connections to you.
God bless you
Spot on
Thank you!!! I can’t stand hypocrisy! And I hate fake fruit on the table… that was my mother …. Preaching to strangers and knocking on strangers doors to save them while I her child was starving and exhausted
Wow!! Charity starts at home THEN spreads abroad!!! I pray you've allowed the Holy Spirit to flood your heart with forgiveness for your mother!! Blessings!!
It's all about getting the glory from others and to hell with their supposed loved ones. Been there and became scornful of any others doing good. Took a lifetime to get over "do gooders" and become open to those truly wanting to help people without shortchanging me. Have nothing but total contempt for glory-seeking do gooders. Was briefly married to a communal narcissist. Miss Daisy
Both parents did all that. My dad gave 2mil away before he couldn’t function at 84. But sure didn’t give to any of us three children. Delved it out to ministries and every drug addict in town.
I sure can relate. Thousands given to the pastor, but I was a week kid from lack of food. Of course I later ended up in a neglectful unfaithful marriage and went without food more than not. Got away and he ruined my life.
JW kid? Me too.
This was soo good. I just got out of a covert narcissist relationship. Often times he would say that I was toxic and I was the one with the many issues.
They tell on themselves all the time. It’s called projection. Glad you got out. God used this experience to help me stop being co dependent and show me He healed my low self esteem issues.
Reverse perverse
EXACTLY! They always do that. They cause problems and issues for no reason, and out of the blue, and when you respectfully show them that what they’re doing is wrong, they twist everything, and manipulate the situation, and try and make you out to be the one with issues. It really really sucks.
So true. Everything that you should say to them.....they say to you. They will not take the blame or apologize for anything and if they do it's fake.
@@tanyatanya891 you are so right because they really do just let out all they're secrets without realizing
I had a Christian narcissist boyfriend and the Lord told me to "end it now"!!! I am so relieved I did! Now he came back to church and "lurking around" trying to get my attention! I will not take him back!!!
Don’t do it they will tear you up no matter what they say to get you
My daughter dated a guy in high school whose adoptive mom was a total Christian narcissist. It was a horrible experience that landed with my daughter eventually needing to see a therapist. Thankfully we are free of them now. Her poor son was such a brainwashed victim. She was one of the most horrible people I've encountered and she's still at it. Fooling people left and right.
Just look at what Jesus said about such people. He will reject them.
I can also use these signs to examine myself, because i might be also one, but hopefully not. Thank you so much my sister in Christ! God Blessed your heart!
@Simone Casillas Thank you for your sweet reply, i appreciate it a lot, it's such a comfort. Thank you! And you just keep on asking the Lord our God, He is truly faithful and He knows your heart, all your struggles and what you truly desires. Let just keep the faith for He promised us that He will finish the work He has started on us. Great is His work in our lives! In Jesus's mighty name, Amen!
Please pray for me and for my family to have a stronger faith in Christ Jesus, i've been having an spiritual battle in the season of my life right now. Thank you so much! :)
May God Bless you always!
If you are regretful over anything you've done and seek forgiveness, you are not a narcissist. Narcissists are never regretful for what they do right or wrong doesn't enter into their head, because they consider themselves "perfect." So you're not a narcissist.
@@marlenevideos8666 I think that she was very forth COMING in her knowledge to examine herself.. truth is bad company corrupts good morals. I know I did not want to respond the way I did in my toxic relationships once I met JESUS, but I found myself with some of the same traits.. I believe if we are uncomfortable and we go to JESUS with our conviction he is might to give us a new way of our reponses.. I REPENT for my part, my part was alot.. I was not helping my fellow man by pretending or setting boundaries and not following through.. the more I was brave and practiced the truth, the more revelation I was given with greater conviction.. that conviction served as a alarm that would sound off very loud to remind me the pain and danger to fellowship with others that do not fear GOD and keep his COMMANDMENTS. I have had many seasons of the pain to exit children, family and so called BRETHREN. I stand today in strength to know that it is a very NARROW walk and God is so serious to warn us of who we partake with.. we are called to be private gardens and not public parks.. we are to be wise and ponder our ways and motives daily. Not everyone is going with you, we must endure and push through the pain.. we must not BLOOD out in RELATIONSHIPS.. that is not what God calls us to do. When we dont PERMIT another person to change, it's really us being SELFISH.. think about that.. if we love someone = wanting the greater good for another.. is it ok to help them hurt them? We dont get this kind of teaching from the 4 walls.. they twist SCRIPTURE and turn it back on you for not LOVING everyone.. it's so sad, dangerous and scary to be asleep and lead ASTRAY.. but the trial is to cause us to go deeper in our walk to recognize truth and put our pain in his hands.. helping us to be aware to make the repairs.. bless you.
@@marlenevideos8666 Right and wrong enter their heads. They just reject any attempt to blame them or wrong them because they have it in their head that they were right. They are unable to be argued with because they do not form any cogent thoughts at all. All of their cognitive powers are used to maximize the perfect image at all times.
The fact you are questioning the fact you might be says your not . Maybe someone has made you feel like that .
Taking notes ✍️ Let your NO be no & YES be yes !! Its great !! That God gives us christian believer "' Discernment"" .... 💯🙏💯 AMEN 👏👏👏
I have to deal with a narcissist at church. I avoid her and use gray rock method, but she is upset that I am not letting her in my close circle. I have prayed about how to handle any enablers that may come and question me. Here will be my reply: "I have 3 mottos I strive to live by. 1: There is more than one side to every story; 2: each person is entitled to their own thoughts and feelings; and 3: I strive not to gossip or talk about people behind their back." I have memorized this and it gives me power to be the follower of Christ that I strive to be.
Make sure you keep that circle close. If this person is trying to pound into it, especially. Because honestly, they'll take you down be careful from someone that knows and boy do those spirits love to work for that person.
Stop being indirect. Tell them to go away, literally. Hey lady, go away, you're a fool! They get the message. Trust me.
@@ericwilliams626Criticizing them does no good. I guarantee that someone has told them this. They just don’t care. They will just be a nuisance and stir them up. Solving as peacefully and quietly as possible would
You have nailed my mother! I have recently discovered that my elderly mother is a narcissist, so I’m listening to many helpful videos like yours to help me deal with her & keep my sanity! Thank you & GBY!
You're not alone at all. 51 yrs old and just discovered this with my elderly mom. But, I often wondered why we never got along...at all! Lol. But, it all makes sense now. Just recently she approached one of my friends at church and told her, "I know you and my daughter are friends, but there are two sides of the story, and began to tell her all of my business". My friend didn't even know she was being baited. Some people at the church believe she's so sweet because she passes out greeting cards on special occasions. But, behind the scenes she's a beast. I will continue to love and honor my mother, but I know longer will be her door mat. I strongly encourage putting in place boundaries, and sticking to them. Watching various videos has helped me not to shout back, be disrespectful, and revengeful. She start dismissing my feelings I've learned to dismiss myself from the toxicity, and stand up for what I know is right. Just some helpful tools for you. Be blessed and hang in there!🙏🏽💖
You are one of millions....u r not alone
It's so painful coming to terms with my mom
56 just learned my mother is one, unbelievable frustration why I was always wrong and invading my privacy. Thank you this was very helpful. Been praying God shows we a way out. Love scripture
@@natinamack5123 the best thing to do is just visit her but stay away and don’t tell her anything about your business. Don’t let people who know her know about your personal business also because she will continue to be causing problems. I am 52years old and my mother has caused me a lot of pain all my life but I am slowly putting an end to it. You have to stay away.
Great video. Sound advice indeed but I would add something else to this list and that is to learn to listen to or tap into your intuition and gut feelings. Your body picks up on these characters but we dismiss how they make us feel. They often show flashes of their malevolence towards us but we often dismiss these incidents. They always leave you feeling drained and over time you will see a pattern from them. Always listen to your intuition. Pride and arrogance give off their own frequencies and so not only watch and learn about them, but feel and learn. Authentic people always give us a sense of peace, narcissists always stir up calm waters. Trust God and listen to your gut feelings and intuition always. Never second guess them.
Great advice!!!!!
@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2qlThank you. 🙏🏾❤️
You're so right. I wish I knew this when I was younger.
" Authentic people always give us a sense of peace, narcissists always stir up calm waters." Amen! I want to engrain this in my soul to remember
This was painfully accurate I feel like such a fool for having a breakdown over my experience.
Sometimes I can be too open and naive when it comes to meeting new people.
When I heard this it was like somebody pointed out an obvious answer to a puzzle.
I pray you guard your heart and recieve wisdom as you come upon anyone. Bless you.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself… the easiest targets are people that are honest and kind hearted. Our minds don’t think the way the manipulators think so until we’ve been abused by them we don’t know… but once they tell us who they really are we must believe them forgive and love them from a DSTANCE❤️💪🏽🙏🏽☝🏽✝️
I let my guard down too thinking they were following bible principles but boy was i deceived.Your not alone.
I was also in a friend group but soon It was revealed to me they were jezebel-like, bullies, controlling.
Most of these love to be in the spot light and love complimenting others.
Says one thing…then cussing behind to others , looking down on others. Using God’s grace but there is no apology.
I have had friends like this and I thought one of them was my best friend for life.
Use discernment, but not be fearful of opening up to new people.
God is our best friend and then everyone else comes after Him, even having a kingdom marriage.
I too got "love bombed" for over a week!
I even began asking "Has she been sent by God?"
Only to be "discarded" like something on the bottom of your shoe!
No closure, no explanation, just "you and me were not God's will, please leave me alone".
And now I have the long arduous task of picking up all the pieces.
I have forgiven, but forgetting will take a LOT longer.
Went 31 years not knowing or more like being co-dependent. The scales were shed from my eyes 6 month ago! Asking for Gods help and direction.
God will help you. He did me.
Survival tip when it’s a courtship: RUN as far and fast as you can.
If married RUN !!!!!!!
Run run as fast as you can and don't look back.
Yeppers!!! Don't get sucked in by the love-bombing and superficial charm.
I did 5 weeks ago but he came back to church acting all sad! Nope I'm totally done!!!
@RS54321 oh he was sooo charming until the "red flags started flying"!!! The Lord told me to "end it now"!!! I dumped him!! Unfortunately he is still lurking around to try and get my attention!!!
Thank you for all of your videos!! Biggest help ever!!
Unfortunately, I know someone like this. Very shameful to have in the church.
Bless you for this! I had NO idea what a narcissist was until God showed me I was married to one. You are helping so many by the truth. You validated what my spirit was showing me 😊
Hello
So you exchanged one for another imaginary one?
God had to show me what a narcissist was after I was about to marry one 😥🙏💕
What is being married to a narcissist like? How are you able to battle the gaslighting talk?
Are you still married?? I am 7 years in and I care for my husband deeply but man… even he has admitted that he thinks he’s a narcissist! I’ve taken all the online quizzes too and they say I’m have severe emotional abuse symptoms… I mean after I had my second baby by C-section I was 4 weeks postpartum and he made it all about him and had a total mental and emotional breakdown about how I wasn’t there for HIM in the last four weeks etc… I mean… having another major surgery and keeping your kids alive… you’re welcome.
We’re going to marriage counseling soon I’m just terrified tho… anytime we’ve talked with someone he spends almost the entire time talking about his childhood and his heart and emotions etc… and then I just don’t know what to say at all when I’m asked to talk.
Just two days ago I found you. Just two weeks ago I began to learn that I am married to a narcissist. Well he appears to fit all the descriptions. I’m broken now but so thankful for you and others who have shown me truth about what has been happening for 26 years. I need help. Don’t know where to turn. I’m learning to seek God’s face more now than ever before in my 50 plus years as a Christian. For sure I need healing, cleansing and strength. Most TH-cam “instructors” say there is no way that change is possible and to run. My heart says to do that, but my head says hang in there because where would I run to? At 81 years of age, how do I start over? Please pray with me and advise. Thanks
My heart goes out to you...I feel your pain 100%. It is such a lonely, disheartening walk. May God fill you with His perfect love and peace to ride this storm out, howsoever the Holy Spirit leads... When the truth hits, all becomes clear and finally makes sense, doesn't it? To have your thoughts, feelings and experiences validated by someone else offers such relief - initially (we weren't going mad after all!)...but then that new reality of who/what we are truly married to hits home and suddenly the present becomes all the more unbearable and the future looks even more bleak than it already did!
I don't have any answers and don't know what to do myself, but I'm sending a big hug to you, precious one! All I do know is that Jesus Christ offers hope in every circumstance and He is faithful and true and will never leave us nor forsake us. God bless you.
Thank you Erica you blessed me this morning
Hey love you start over with yourself find yourself again doesn’t matter the age ♥️ self love self happiness 💙
I'm sorry 😔, it's hard. I prayed a lot for him to walk closer to God to change his ways. I didn't know he was a narcissist until he died. All these emotions came out, I was an enabler. I'm 67 and was married 25 years with him. Before that I was married to another Narcissist, which was worst he abused us all. I was 16 when he raped me and had to stay with him. I had no voice to tell anyone cause I lived with my Mom's dad and mother at age 5-13, he molested me the whole time!! I did what I was told. I was so fearful, still am😔 I was placed in foster care at one month until 5 years, then moved in with that monster! With they found out, then again I was placed in foster care system, my mother didn't want me. I was so messed up, it's a wonder I'm alive but God has a plan, still trying to figure that out. But I'm safe now. Trying to get healing 🥰 so yes I will pray for you 💕
I've been married over 46 yrs. I finally figured it out 6-8 yrs. ago. He was humble, charming and quite wonderful. Everyone loves and hangs on his every word. I'm 65 and I moving to my own place. He's been telling lies about me and has even admitted it. He said he would straighten out the lies if I stay. I'm sure that's another lie. Hang in there Barbara. I don't have ALL the answers, but God does. It's very difficult @ 65, It must be horrible @ 81.
My ex-wife used to call me a narcissist.
But nobody else in my life has ever accused me of being a narcissist.
After listening to your channel. I realize she was the narcissist. So I do what I can. I pray for her.
Hello Kris, My mother is a covert religious narciss. She has used her religion to hit us over the head for decades. She is superior, shows no empathy, she never was emotionally supportive of me and my siblings. Now she is elderly and still continues to live for herself and has no good insight into herself and being elderly. She continues to not use good judgement, and now being elderly, will not use any wisdom in how she should live safely as her life nears the end. Continues to brag about how wonderful she is, and never ever inquires on us children and how our lives are.
I completely relate. I have a covert narcissist mother, who loves to use guilt trips and gaslighting. My prayers for you.
That was my mother too. She passed away at her church's senior care facility across the country. She didn't inquire of her children's wellness. When I visited her 5 years ago, she could only spend 20 minutes with us because she had to go to the weekly Bible study.
@@rosemaryraplar8 Hi Rosemary, I thought I was the only one out there. Bless you and thank you for sharing your story.
I’m sorry you went through this as well. My mom to a tee. The amount of cruelty behind closed doors I have endured is beyond comprehension. Using her Christianity as weapon and abusing it has been awful. I am Christian but I came into my own with my love of God and what a true Christian is. She believes she is truly the chosen one in the family but yet is cruel to me. I’m the empath and my sister is her mini me. She has never behaved toward her like she has to me.
Even the devil quotes scripture right?
My "bff" of 48 years abandoned me a few months ago. She's treating me as if I did things to her when she's always done little things to me. I'm now thankful she did it. It explains many things that I wondered about over the years. I have purged myself of all gifts, pictures and cards. Continuing to pray for healing. 🙏
What you said at 3:20 explained exactly how I was feeling. I dated a Christian guy for a few months, the first Christian guy I had ever dated and he was a complete narcissist. I was so confused. This opened my eyes and I see that I can’t assume someone doesn’t come with redflags just because they claim to follow Christ. This guy knew very little about me because we only ever talked about him. I’m so glad God got me out of that relationship quickly.
Dated a narcissistic Christian girl. She would always say she had a “gift” and that “her understanding was above mine, and she didn’t expect me to understand”. She said she prayed for wisdom ONCE to God, and claimed that she got it, and now touts that supposed fact during any little argument or disagreement, and would use it to make me feel worthless, or less than her. It really sucked. But my experience with the Holy Spirit was that he put peace in my heart, and my love for others grew. I never felt the need to necessarily change anyone, or debate with anybody. All I felt the need to do was to love on people, tell them about the gospel, and I knew God would do the rest. So I can’t say if it was the Holy Spirit in her… but from my experience, and from the experience I’ve witnessed in others who were close to God, what she had was Christian narcissism as more of a religious practice, rather than a relationship with Christ. I love her still, and don’t wish her anything bad, quite the opposite. I really pray that God touches her heart, and shows her that what she’s doing is wrong, and humbles her. I hope she has a husband and kids and a happy life too!
Amen
This describes exactly what I'm going through, she made out her mind is vast and she thinks she is better than other people. The deeper your journey with the lord, the more of a servant you become. She made me feel less than, I was not as good as I should be. We all have our journey, some start small and slow, but its not a race and no one has the right to make you feel bad. The signs were there, I just didn't want to see them, love is blind.
felipebernardes6997 I'm sorry, Brother. But until she can accept accoutability for herself as the Bible calls all believers to do regularly, a Husband and Children are THE LAST things she deserves. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but Narcs just refuse to self reflect b/c they fail to see anything wrong with themselves. If They refuse to self reflect honestly, how can they change & grow in God's ways? It was hard for me to accept when I fell for a narc who also claimed the she was a believer as well. But when I did my research on narcissism, there was little to no promising signs that she would ever change. The fact is, Narcs only see other people only as sources of validation(aka: fuel), They do not see people as people. Plus They do not seek God for validation & love as they should. May I make some recommendations on channels that have helped me undsrstand the narcissist? The Royal We, Shaneen Megji, Batel Skater, Jess Stanley, HG Tudor-knowing the narcissist, DoctorRamani, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach inc., Surviving Narcissism(Dr. Les Carter), Stephanie Lyn Coaching, Danielle Radin, Rebecca Zung, ApplyGodsWord.com/MarkBallanger, Narcissists' Adversaries, David Servant, Ask Anoushka, Tamie M. Joyce, Danish Bashir, Narcissistic Recovery Healing, Kenny Weiss, Richard Grannon, and The Enlightened Target. May The Lord be with You as You heal Brother
This has been my experience too. I don’t feel alone. When people talk about religious abuse they leave the faith entirely. I did at first but came back because of an encounter with God. He is real! I believe that, I also believe the Holy Spirit is real too
But my experience has been like yours. I feel guilty for speaking ill of anyone. I want to love others and be truly selfless. Many people want to be pastors, but God called us to love everyone and give to the poor. I want to dedicate my life to philanthropy in my city and loving the homeless + donating to local libraries so kids have that as a resource.
Truly God is good ❤ he changes hearts. So many Christians have a lot of pride and are self deceived. The more I learn about God, the more I appreciate his greatest creation: humanity. The more I respect everything he created from animals to the earth. I pray more people find humility in Christ because we need it more than ever
Ive got one of these and it took me years to even realize that I was being emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually abused and destroyed. When you don't know what you are dealing with yet, it's so very confusing and painful. And it doesn't ever end because they started treating you the right way. It only ends when you run and don't look back. I'm trying to work on that now
RELEVANT! WE LIVE IN A NARCISSISTIC SOCIETY AND YOUR MINSTRY LEADS US TO HAVE A GODLY WAY ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. THX FOR YOUR SUBMITTAL TO WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR YOU TO DO!
My father is a narcissistic pastor. I’ve had to almost completely just stop talking to him.
This was truly very hard to watch. I spent YEARS at a church with a family of Pastors like this, a wife and a husband. These people had two extremely jealous daughters who hated any other youth around them who got an ounce of attention from the congregation. One of the daughters hated me specifically w/ a passion for simply existing. Soon the pastor started treating me like a pariah as well, all to appease his miserable daughter who he knew hated me for NO REASON. I later discovered that the entire family is involved in witchcraft. They aren't even real christians. They literally are witches and warlocks pretending to be christians taking advantage of the message of the gospel. I now understand why the two daughters were so hateful. They are spawns of their evil parents. Thank you for shedding light on this. It is a GREAT problem in many churches.
Wolves in sheep's clothing.
Wow , I hope that you have found another church and have cut off any contact with them ! Witchcraft is no joke ! Although they have no power over Gods children the demons can attack but not break us! Those people are truly going to reap what they have sown! That is not only mocking our Lord but just pure evil and God is going to deal with them and have the last word!
It is true when we as believers can sense demonic activity , it is a unsettling feeling 😮thank God that He is our covering ❤
I am currently going through a "discovery" period with my wife of 35 yrs. She is a vulnerable. This christian part is something that has really confused me. She is the perfect church member in everyone's eyes. Super involved, she is the finance mgr., sunday school teacher, nursery monitor, three days a week member. But at home she is mean, drinks gin and tonics, talks badly about people, complains about everything (I cant say I've ever really heard her compliment anyone). But EVERYONE loves and praises her. She has recently turned on me and in no time has pretty much destroyed my life. I've quit going around people she associates with and this includes going to church. I believed her just like everyone else but just allways told myself she was under stress. She isn't.
Then go talk to someone about it find a real Christian not a fake place that you can get some counseling cuz it’s only going to get worse. Maybe separate for a bit and see how your marriage can be reconciled. But she needs to rededicate her life back to God and please don’t think all believers are like that, but there are a lot of fake Christian people and twisted doctrine out there. So pray about it and ask God to show you what to do . I am so sorry that you are going through this and if you have children they are also .
But I do know that God is real and this is not how He is representing himself. He loves you both and would want you to be happy with one another and love each other. So I pray that things change and that you don’t get discouraged or disgusted and that she truly repents and comes to know the Lord.
Other than that I pray the right people come and help you ok 👍
But I get it
I have a narcissist mom and I know what it’s like .
Praying for you both❤
Yes! I tried to teach for a Christian School.I have never felt so completely miserable in my life. They wanted cheap labor and donations of time and money. They wouldn’t allow anyone other than themselves to make decisions. Slavery is painful.
It happens everywhere even secular, that's why negotiating early is best.
I'm sorry you went through that. I had a humiliating experience at a well known Christian organization years ago so I can relate to yours. 😔
I consider myself to be a Christ follower as sadly, Christians have given Christianity a bad rep. 🥺😔
That's Christianity for you. I was raised Christian so I recognize the grift. Humanizing God is profitable.
I’ve seen Christian’s hire druggies because they wanted cheap labor, then try to witness to them , how can they witness to people effectively when they are being cheap and not paying a person what they are worth. Their witness to the druggie they are taking advantage of, is that they are being cheap.
Yes V m as you described it slavery out of which the Lord has worked for us to be out of these bandage and love 💕 the Lord worshiping Him in spirit and in truth. God is every where as Jesus says we focus on Him alone God bless you thanks gor sharing
Actually the most toxic thing is jealousy, envious and insecurities, also the malignant Narcissistic, I have dealt with malignant Narcissistic and their jealousy
Hello Kimberly
???
It’s heartbreaking when you realize the full capacity of what these people are and how hard it is to deal with them especially if they’re your children or family members that are supposed to be having your back🙌😓
In my case it’s my son. This video sounds exactly like him. I’m sorry to say I had to go no contact with him. He has done everything in the book to try and win at life against me when there’s no contest. I pray that he will take the necessary steps to get counseling but you know he will never admit to doing anything wrong.
Yes. Dead on. One of the most evil, cruel people I’ve ever encountered was a narcissistic pastor. Biggest phony I’ve ever seen. Made a large donation to a local family and advertised it all over FB. So humble lol. Have gone No Contact and will never have anything to do with them again
I had a pastor 20 years ago that was so cruel to me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I recently found out that during this time he was having an affair. It all makes sense now.
Never talk back at them, it will be hell.
53 yrs of feeling inadequate and now I know the truth... thankful but late!...
I was called " evil" one time by someone who supposedly was a follower of God. It worried me because this person had no evidence that I was evil. It was said out of the blue. But through observation, I eventually saw their evil side. I later came to realize it is not me that is evil me it was them.
Alot of evil people are like this. They will scapegoat others.
Having been recommended to watch this video, I unreservedly agree with you. I recently summarised the research on Psychopaths in Churches - an extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder - and my mailbox overflowed with dreadul stories like the comments you have had on here. It is heartbreaking to read these. Keep up your good work. Blessings.
Quoting Scripture in a way (out of context) to get or keep you in line.
You just described my brother.
I'm so grateful as a Christian God let me to this video! Very healing
I've been married for 14 years. Everything you said now explains everything I've been going thru.
They point out everyone else’s sins while making excuses for their own. My “Christian” sister tells me I wear too much makeup, I dress inappropriately, she doesn’t see fruit, I am drifting away from God. All she does is criticize. I was in a fashion show at church for charity. Instead of being proud of me, she criticized me for using the church to glorify myself. I didn’t sponsor it, the church did. It was a ladies lunch and fashion show on Saturday afternoon to raise money for a charity for abused women. All I did is say yes when they asked me to be in it. The clothes were not sexy. They were for old ladies and very conservative.
You can’t take what these people say seriously. They will drive you nuts.
Only when you go no contact and allow God to remove them and their Filth (they refuse to submit to God and let God Him deal with it) will you ever have peace. Initiallly it might be painful but then and only then will you be out of the narcissistic fog they put you in and you will see clearly and wonder why you tolerated it for so long🙏
can very much relate to this comment thanks for sharing
30 years of my life in a marriage with a covert, 'Christian ' narcissist with a very crazy mind. So much abuse, oppression and woundedness. Praise God for his faithfulness to take care of the righteous. Everything you discussed was my life for 30 years.
I was in a relationship and lived with a narcissistic man for 2 and a half years and it utterly destroyed me. A year after I was free Jesus saved me (last year). I am finally healing from these experiences thanks to God's overwhelming love and care. Now, I'm confronted with a sister in our congregation who triggers the hell out of me. I noticed very quickly that she is a narcissist as well. It's very tough because of the trauma I've been through with my ex. I spend a vast amount in prayer to be able to deal with it and I often feel bad/guilty for not being able to love her properly. These videos help to understand how to deal with such things. Is there any hope for her? I wonder how a Christian can be and act like that, repeatedly. It's energy and time consuming. Thank you for the tips. God bless you 🌻
I feel you, Noony! Since I've had covid and been bedridden for 7 months and not being able to go to church, the saying is true you know who your friends are when you're sick. My two best Sisters in Christ that I trusted (that is absolutely almost impossible for me) for 2 years have broken my heart. One never even calls to ask how I am, the other has just turned out to be an information gatherer and a gossip who wants to just argue with everything I say, tell my future ex, and even blame me for the problems of abuse since I married the new, fake Christian narcissist man that's came to our church last year. His mask came off the next day. It's been a year of pure hell between him, having chronic fatigue syndrome activated by his abuse daily, his sexual sadism which I finally cut him off, and never ending almost daily rages, screaming and raving and cursing and slamming the door when he storms out until last time when it came off the hinge when I threw him out for the last time. I just got served with annulment papers last week. She basically called me a liar when I told something he said that froze my blood. She just flat out said he didn't say that, kept insisting he didn't and if he did it was just kidding. I said ,"were you here to witness that conversation? You don't even know him!" This woman is unbelievable. She's a small town, protected, sheltered very nosy busybody and naive woman who was a nurse for a year in the 80s. I was a nurse for 13 years internal medicine in the fourth largest city in the US. I have figured her out since I've had no lack of narcissists in my life in fact 99% of all people I've ever known have fallen into that category. Her problem is her ego is hurt when I know things that she doesn't or when I've experienced and witnessed things that she can't even imagine. She went from passive aggressive to downright aggressive when I got sick. While I'm so sick, I can't breathe when I try to walk, I'm in s wheelchair now. I can see that she is always competing with me, and her ego gets hurt when I tell her you can't possibly know where I'm coming from, because you've never been there. I got a text out of the blue the other day because I got started on the medication I needed badly and the first day I could tell I was an interaction and there was. I told her that when she asked if I was feeling better. 2 hours later she texted me "it just floors me that you expect doctors to help you when you don't even level with them". She wasn't in the office at my appt. I was so angry but God helped me to send a civil text back and I said "could you maybe reserve a little of your judgment on conversations I've had that you weren't there for? He prescribed both of those, and I more than level with them, otherwise I can't get the treatment I need". She's been at that church her whole life, and is the one who knows everything about everybody and thinks she is Ms. Doctor to everybody. But there are some others at the church who have come forward and I've gotten to know better and it's been a blessing. Narcs are everywhere now just like the Bible said in the end times, people will be boastful, full of pride, lovers of themselves, lovers of money, without natural affection, etc. I pray for her but I won't be giving her any more information. I pretty much gone gray rock on her if she asks. Then of course she got all sweet and asked me if I needed something out of their garden. She's not going to Hoover me back in. And I found that you can't talk or reason with a narc, so between her and my ex being there I'm probably just going to find a new church. I think that's what God wants for me and that's why this is happening. I would seriously grey rock or better, go no contact with your narc. Make friends with somebody else that you haven't maybe known well, don't sit with her. It will make her angry but we don't go to church to be tortured by demons even though there's a lot of them there at every church. Satan's doctrines of demons have infiltrated every church building, but as you know the true church isn't who's in the building! Maybe it's time for you to find another one. God has a good way of leading us away from bad things to better things. I know he has work for me to do and it's probably somewhere else. Just pray to him to guide you, pray for this sadly demonically possessed woman just like I do for my ex. It has taken a ton of prayer to get to where I can pray for him for real, the anger and betrayal is so familiar to me I didn't think I could possibly be fooled again. I ignored the red flags, thinking maybe God is blessing me with a good Christian man now that I'm saved. Just let Him guide you. Pray a lot about it because dealing with these demons can turn nasty and dangerous. And yes, they are demon possessed. I spent almost 30 years as a "white witch" doing all kinds of healings and spells and readings and mediumship professionally, so I've witnessed more than my share of demonic possession. If she comes at you again like that tell her demons to stand down In The Name of Jesus Christ, proceed to pray for her or read the Bible and you will see how paralyzed she gets, or she may just run, literally run away. Another clue is their pupils dilate all the way, their eyes are totally black and sometimes even the whites too. If you try to talk to them you'll know that person is not in there. The voice can change dramatically and they will spew nonsense. If you're filled with the Holy Spirit, then you have authority over them. I wouldn't try to cast them out though because most of these people will not get saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and the demon will return with seven more more wicked than himself. If it were me I would just gray rock/no contact. It's saddens me so much that there aren't any really true Churches anymore, most of them have totally conformed themselves to the world and devoted themselves to entertainment in a 10 minute watered down false gospel of easy believism. Jesus predicted all of this and it's here which means he is at the door after the Antichrist is discovered and a one world order is in place. I know so this sounds crazy but you would not believe what I have seen in my life, and much of it it's so I can give testimonies and help people recognize fake and lukewarm Christians, so that I can also and try to bring them to the TRUTH of Jesus Christ. God bless you and I pray you get an answer soon. 🛐✝️🙏💖🤗😘🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Any advice for me. I’m 21 years old married to a 55 year old. She doesn’t like to admit when she is wrong. She doesn’t respect that I have family friends I grew up with. She doesn’t want me in contact with sisters in Christ & I feel like that’s not normal being that I’m called to ministry. Any advice ? I feel like divorcing
@@IsaiahJNicolas 21 and 55.....huge age difference. WOW. What your parents think? There's trouble here from the start.
@@IsaiahJNicolasthe age difference between the two of you may cause her more insecurity than she is willing to admitted to.
Please pray for my son, wife, and their 3 little boys.. God knows what's going on.
Your words spoke to my heart! I am actually coming out of a relationship with a minister who is a narcissist. Every word you spoke applies to the pain I have endured and still endure. The layers of confusion are the best way to describe this. All my life i believe in Jesus Christ our Savior and never had my walk with the Lord attacked so maliciously! All points in your video has been done to me but then he turns into the victim. Doing any good deeds for me where later thrown back in my face and then announce to the world that he was doing the work of the Lord. I am praying everyday and rebuilding my relationship with the Lord. Thank you again for sharing this video!🙏🏽🙌🏽💜
All things are possible with God.
God only intervenes in our lives upon request.
Also, read Chronicles about all the evil kings.
My malignant narc dad and mentally ill mom gave their lives to Jesus when they were older. God answers prayers!
@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql wow.
Self righteous, arrogant beyond contempt, the broadcasting of their belief in God and their very visible Christian deeds are totally in opposition to their inauthentic selves. Impossible to get close to, be accepted by them. They believe they are God. Coverts are lethal. This is a brilliantly, insightful commentary. Bless
The overly broadcasting or wearing it on clothing too much ( maybe that’s a bit bit picky but it irks me) tend to throw up false flags to me.
A new or returning Christian can be excited for a time but the relax after awhile. It’s the long term of the self righteous broadcasting that just feels fake and for show.
good description, validated my feelings towards an ex friend
Would love to have you do a video on dealing with a narcissist “Christian” sister/sibling.
That would be a good idea as I have a sister who is a Christian Narcissist.
Good warning against the covert Christian narcissist!
We need to pray. Its a evil spirit controling them. They can be healed.
The most difficult is to discern a "christian narcissist" online. It's easy to develop bonds online with those who are likeminded and become friends. People can be whatever they want to portray online and you don't really know them. These signs you gave eventually come out even in online friendships if you give it time. People can't help but eventually betray their true selves. It's good to know what to look for and to hold online relationships at arm's length until a person is proven true. I've had some who tried to draw me into their inner circle, use me for their means, manipulate, gaslight, and finally I had to cut myself off from them. I've also made some very dear Christian friends online that have proven to be true.
Ginny just like what happend to me…I was pur through a total chaos and mockings, cursing and the list goes on what happend only God knows the full extent how I was used .
Thank you for sharing your experience! Behind close doors many children of God going through the same trials and tribulations.
In the end God is turning everything around for our God and what really matters that We mature in Jesus and love ! The true friends I have online are few but I know God knows what He is doing.
Blessings ,
Adrienne
@@royaldiadem324 blessings back atcha! Sorry you went through this also. I guess it's part of our learning and growing in Christ.
Narcissists do well online and social media platforms. I've met a covert narcissist who claimed to be a Christian married woman with 2 kids. Her words and behaviours online are selfish and deceitful, putting others down. Plain demonic
1. Fake humility
2. Fake niceness
3. Fake real
4. Fake giving
5. Fake faith
6. Fake repentance
Yes, the online ones are the worst. There is only one pastor on line that I really like. I had a narc friend who loves to be online and fool his followers.
You just explained how my wife is exactly. My kids saw it before me. I have been pulling my hair out. Trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong even going as far thinking I’m the problem and the narcissist myself. Everything you just shared in thisvideo is how my wife is..
Oh yeah Tommy pray for her. Ask God to order your steps concerning your marriage.
Me too, exactly!
I called out a narc at my church (I was tired of her stories and lies), and her face completely changed as her 'mask' fell off. She blasted me in front of a room full of people and then immediately tried to triangulate with another person to side with her. It was quite the thing. The church elders took _months_ to finally kick her out of the church, offering her counselling and support (which of course she didn't take b/c she didn't see she had any issues), and this was after multiple people had been hurt by her.
The lack of discernment and education about narcs in the church is sad, and I pray more people wake up to these types of people to better protect themselves and the church body.
I am terrified and yet blessed to come cross Kris Reece. I am in a Narcissist marriage exhausted, confused, tired and stuck & don’t feel the strength to get out.
Covert narcissist biggest tell: "pity me, pity me"
Repentance is NOT apologizing. Repentance means changing the way/what you think. It means exchanging your thoughts for God’s thoughts.
I was seriously abused by an aggressive Christian narc, he was an ex criminal who had supposedly repented in prison but in actuality he had redirected his bullying perverse energy into a coercive controlling form of piety, i was gaslight and controlled in away i never expected as i thought christians were meant to be good people, some are but some are still unhealed and have just redirected their narcissism.
Just found out about you, I listened to this,you are wonderful,was with one for over ten yrs,she discarded me and it hurt so much.i spent so much money and did everything for her.she claimed she was a Christian fooled me I didn't know what s narcissist was.thank you and God bless.
Thans for watching Dave!
same here, Dave; hope you have moved forward and are enjoying your walk with the Lord Jesus even closer now.
You'll also notice they tend to show up to a party with nothing. They will pretend to help you by opening up the potato chips and eating them. Opening up a container that happens to have what they want, and start eating it right out of the jar, helping themselves...even without washing their hands. They see what will serve them first, and most of the time ONLY THEM.
Jesus "Pharisees are bad"
Narcissists " hold my mirror "
🤣👏👏
Narcissists: omg im being persecuted
*people minding their own business*
Narcissists: you need to repent before God sends you to hell
I have heard the Word Narcissist before but never understood until now! It is the most accurate description of my Sister! She thinks she's better than everyone else, she LOVES the Spotlight and beware if you do something she disapproves of! Out comes her Bible and she Beats you over the Head with it!! She is my Parents FAVORITE Daughter! I am the Black Sheep and can do NOTHING right! I have so much to learn about this Toxic Trait and I NEED more of God to heal me of my Brokenness!! 🙏
Yes, and always in the limelight with superior knowledge. One more thing I encountered was constant interruption saying, wait let ME lead in prayer...a long praise and worship prayer.
I came across one, she never wants to help me even when she knows of my condition and frustrations, instead telling me I should get baptized, I did all but she still insist that I should seek the Holy Spirit and looks down on me telling me she can't help an unbaptized person, really rude
Narcissists are delusional
And they do suffer. Forgive, but do not become a doormat.
@@LadyJane29030 I agree with you. It is important to forgive them but you are not supposed to enable their Narcissism.
Thank you for dressing modestly, so refreshing to see a modest Christian woman. This is important.
Your exactly who she is describing.
@@rubytuesday7653 you’re *
Why do you have to thank her for that? Why is that important to the topic of this video?
@@frizzyrascal1493 it is virtuous to compliment other people on being virtuous....
I also enjoy seeing women dress nicely.
Excellent breakdown! I noticed key word "fake" in the 7 descriptions, which is the crux of a true narcissist. People are baffled by "Christian" narcissism, often bewildered. They expect to see the sanctified "newness" at play, but instead see some of the ugliness of the flesh. Thus begs the question, "Is this person truly born again, or are they just putting on the facade of religion in order to feel better about themselves?" (2 Tim 3:1-4) Thank you for this video. God Bless!
yes the first sign of a person being born again is humbleness humility and an overwhelming desire to shed all selfish ambition and follow the lord completely..a new creation from the old self.
You pinpointed my narcissist sister to the letter! I am in awe of your accuracy. Thank you for the epiphany!
My parents are both Christian but my dad always apologized when an apology was due to us kids. He would humble himself. My mother, on the other hand, felt she was always right regardless if she provoked us to wrath. My daddy went home to be with the Lord. I’m still here going through trials and tribulations with my mother. After a visit, i take up to a month away from her to detox. I keep talking to my daddy and God to keep my faith going. The devil is a liar and can use anyone as a tool. My goal is to fill my father’s shoes.
Is speaking to those who have passed on called necromancy?
Saying daddy is so odd
@@mmichellecherrywhy
Narcissism has it's roots in the Jezebelic principality. Jezebel had all the characteristics of a Narcissist.
I was married to a narcissist person for 24 years who proclaim to be Christian and read the Bible everyday goes out of his way to show people that he's good. But closed doors he has nothing but an evil person I finally got away from. I prays God for delivery our family from him.
My mom has Cancer, in ordering to control my brother and make him feel guilty, she tells him she is dying of cancer. To everyone else, she is healed.. I cringe. But say nothing.
I have the same issue! My mother will never apologize for anything!! Even if she is told what she have done.. she does evil
Oh my goodness thank you. I am in the UK I have been a member of my local church for a few years. A year ago a person swept into Church people were saying how wonderful she was. I am very open but my spirit was very cautious. As time went on I became more anti. I prayed and prayed about my reaction examining if I was jealous or being silly. But they got baptized and came onto the committee. I felt more distance . Last week we had a small meeting about Christmas myself the vicars wife and this person. We got onto Faith and the comment was made " I believe in God I think but I can't trust him to deal with my future as I can't let go of my anxiety and cannot give him tomorrow " To say I was shocked is an understatement. God is my future I would not be here today without trusting my future to Him. I have decided to remove myself from this small church that has became in awe of this person.
I've been praying hard. Asking God to help me see things as objectively as possible and through His perspective, but I'm still grieving over a recent relationship that has proven through education like this, to be completely toxic/narcissistic/unbiblical. I was missing my friend, who was more than a friend to me and going over past behaviors and patterns, and everything is making more sense as I get more versed with this. For the first time, after listening to your videos, by God's grace, I can see myself moving forward and not being as downcast as before. I am still going to pray for my friend, ZC, because I truly care for him, and I feel sorry for him despite all the hurt he has caused my heart. Only God knows why he is the way he is. We live in such a broken world. I'm just glad I had an opportunity from the Lord to witness to him, and hope that he truly was sincere in repenting and accepting Jesus as his Savior. I will keep praying that God will transform his heart of stone into a heart of flesh. God bless you for your encouragement and all these insights.
Thank you so much for this, it made me realise my own shortcomings and challenges but also gave me the release to cut ties with a needy/ narcissistic person without the feeling of guilt and being a bad Christian for giving up on them. The free PDF is a priceless gift!
I was here to evaluate someone causing me pain. Only to find who I really am. I'm not any better.
Thanks
Never MEASURE a man in the good times.. MEASURE them when it gets HARD.. " that is who they really are.. believe it. 2 TIMOTHY 3
Test the spirits and dont be in the habit of collecting RED FLAGS.
REPENT AND COME OUT FROM AMONGST THEM AND BE SEPARATED SAYS THE LORD OF HOST.. TOUCH NOT THE UNCLEAN THING AND I WILL RECEIVE YOU. WAKE UP NEIGHBORS AND FOLLOW JESUS NOT MORTAL MEN.. BIBLE BEFORE BELLY.
And because narcissists are so powerfully drawn to need adoration and the ability to control others, they will naturally gravitate toward leadership positions in the church. The closer you get to inner leadership circles, the more likely you are to encounter narcissism.... especially if YOU aspire to leadership.
You are correct.
I have been married to this person for over 30 years. Has used Scripture so skillfully to get what he wants, but not to examine himself. I am a broken human for staying.
😢
I would like to add 2 things to watch out for in church....people who fake smiles and interest when talking to elderly chuch members or visitors...and people who seem to be praying, head bowed, but are actually taking sly glances around them. It isn't nice to have to be on guard in church but much better than suffering.
Narcissist motto, nothing beats giving like getting. Entitled to time, energy, your business, money and more. Whatever you have that they want they believe they deserve. They are the cheapest people you’ll ever meet. Cut them off. Dust off your feet and move on.
I was married to one for 4 years, two months and three days. Couldn’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, our daughter’s personality is just like his. She was a strong willed child. At age 50, she got mad at me because she couldn’t control me on a certain situation so, she cut me out of her life, said I was the reason for her anger issues and she never wanted to see or talk to me again! She hasn’t had a relationship with her adult son for almost a year and hasn’t seen her grandson but once since he was born, 7 months ago. Our family has fallen apart since she got mad a me. It’s so sad but I can’t have a conversation with her. If you don’t agree with her on any issue, she will shut you down and blame everything on you…….me, that is! 🙏🏻. We go to he same church!! 😢