Hi Kris. All the traits you mentioned I have encountered in 2 different relationships--one covert, one overt. The first was a 35 year marriage and the second was a 75 day whirlwind until his mask slipped once and I disappeared from his life. What has me troubled is the shattering of trust. Both men had a strong profession of faith, yet in day-to-day life, there was a disregard for the other (me) completely contrary to scripture. Are these the ones that the Lord will say, "begone from me, I never knew you"? I also sensed a spirit of misogyny in both of them and other principalities.
@@gailrosenberg48 thank you dear sister for sharing I am in the dame situation. I married a do called Christian so to work together for the Lord 🙏 He proved yo be the devil after he was sure he could grab all of labor I did for God. He joined other men manipulators and removed me from my ministry with 5he excuse of my womanhood. I know the situation is unbearable but I also know that my God is greater He is fighting the rightous battle for me and for the do many women I minister to. As you said the hate women they are jealous of our success they use the bible against the woman's ministry
@@gailrosenberg48you please be praying for me and my ministry. Women are in need of being understood and recover from rejection and depression. I am a Theologian an a counseling psychologist. I need lots of prayers
God can for sure change a narcissist. He changed me. But I begged and cried out for Him to do that. I learned to love Him more than myself. But it has taken years to overcome my narc traits. Still recovering and slowly changing those disgusting habits. With Jesus anything is possible. First step is to repent and humble yourself before the Lord.
@@foodeater1236 I am free. I think I just struggle with vanity but other than that I have a servant mindset. I don’t try to make everything about me. I stopped the manipulation and control and threatening and violent outbursts and revenge type behaviors. Just living a happy godly and free life in Jesus life. God is truly my Deliverer
@@Revival_Momma Indeed, the first step to change is looking at oneself and putting yourself in the position of others in which you'll think how you would act if what you did was done to you. The only thing that separates humans from animals is the ability to reflect upon oneself and one's actions. The life of a Christian is one of constant self control and prayer, everyday we battle so that we won't fall back to our old ways. Good luck and may the Father bless youm
@@Revival_Momma God died on the Cross for EVERY ONE and that includes: people with ALL kind of problems...what makes one person or onother one better ?!...nothing at ALL ! He loves ALL of us the same and wants tô save ALL of us ! May the Lord bless and Guide you, you mean alot to Him believe It 10:07 my friend !!!
It’s just SIN. Sinful people. Thus has always been addressed in the church. Sadly, people merge the teaching of a known occultist, Freud with Holy Scripture, and they think there’s something new to be heard or done.
Amen! God is giving instruction to those who have ears to listen. It's necessary knowledge that He is giving us to help us deal with narcs and how to avoid and discern them. Very necessary to have these tools, this armor, to protect ourselves in this time of exponentially increasing narcissism. "The Days Of Noah" are upon us.
Fake, fake, fake all is fake but the most annoying part is when they have many faces, that, no one believes you when you say, “they are not so who they seem to be.”
When I was in a hell of a relationship with a narc, I was telling what was going on to my sister on the phone while travelling by train. When I finished the conversation, a homeless came out of the toilet, went to me and said 'you are to good for this boy, get out of this relationship as soon as you can' and went away. I was so surprised it really felt as if God was speeking through him and it was just the strenght that I needed to get away for the last time.
@Marjo Lein God knew what you needed to hear. He placed that person right there to overhear your phone call. Wisdom comes in surprising ways and I hope you are acting on it.
“Honor thy mother and father” has been held over my head and repeatedly screamed at me by my narcissistic mother. She scores a 8/8 on your list. But, I forgive her, time and time again. And now in my mid 30s, and with a child of my own, I see that keeping her at arms length is the only way I can protect myself. I am highly sensitive and an empath. Most likely have PTSD from childhood, and much of it was gaslighting or verbal/emotional abuse or being told I’m “bad” and “broken”, while still showing the outside world how “perfect” our family was. I have had to accept I will never have the mother I wanted or needed. I have tried to not let it change me, but it has. I am much more sensitive to others. I have learned all the ways I want to love my child more and how NOT to parent. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but have a very supportive spouse. I’m only 13 minutes in to the video, but I feel like you are speaking to me. Thank you for your ministry.
If you grew up wt a Narcissistic mother and where the scapegoat, you can have Borderline Personality Disorder, the scapegoat of Narcissistic mothers get that, see video of Dr Judy Rosenberg. The child that where the golden child, turnes out to be a Narchissist themselvs.
Keeping them at arms length...it's how you handle any toxic person. Had an older sister, 3yrs, that I do bed satan. she was a classic and very dangerous covert narcissist. She married, 2nd time, a lawyer, who was her enabler. I quit talking to her 30yrs ago, she Never saw her grandkids even though they lived nearby..she died alone, only one narcissist friend who got what was left.She had multiple lawsuits, and judgements still pending..
Thank you for sharing. This verse has also been held over my head while I was growing up in a church culture with low education and next to no awareness on mental/emotional health or any psychological issues. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
My father, even this month, December, first week, 2021 held this verse over my head Proverbs 30:17. He asked me if I remembered it. I chose to ignore him. He taught it to my brother ane me when we were children, probably six or seven years old, then. Now I am 55.and married to a narcissist for 30.5 years and have two grown up sons.
A Covert Narcissist does apologies, but they are not remorseful and will make no changes in their behavior. They may make a small change but after shorter and shorter periods of time they will revert back to doing what they apologised for.
Yessssss. So true. I want to live for God, and my husband is in the way. I will feel guilty for my behavior and ask God forgiveness, but my husband feels nothing and never sorry. I am very tired. I have changed, and I hate it
When you're wondering if you're dealing with a Narcissist, look for the "Three E's": 1. Entitled 2. Exploitative 3. Lack of Empathy I was deceived by a covert religious Narcissist in "ministry," and lost $16,000. I'm nearly 67 and am car camping till I can recoup the monies I lost.
I am so sorry you are enduring this. I have a ex husband who has conned the world with his Christian jargon. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing….for sure. Narcissists almost impossible to break free off. I pray your situation changes and gets better.
Money cant buy your sanity, safety or SALVATION.. I'm so glad you made it out.. may your spirit man be richly replenished with wisdom, discernment, joy, faith, endurance, conviction, peace..may you recoup with your finances and be stable and able to teach others what to look for as you share your testimony of what lessons you learned in all this🤗
Mmmmmm. This is why we have to be VERY cautious, and choose to listen to the voice of the LORD AND HIS VOICE ALONE. HE WILL CONFIRM TO YOU WHETHER OR NOT, YOU SHOULD DO THINGS FOR HIS WILL OR NOT. I PRAY THAT THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU, AND THAT THE LORD RESTORE EVERYTHING THAT YOU LOST A HUNDREDFOLD 100 TIMES OVER IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN.
@@DJH97 It's NOT that they didn't plan ahead. Didn't you read what they typed completely? Generally the Lord will ALLOW US to go through various things, in order for us to comprehend what HE was trying to teach and show us in the midst of the situation. So, we can break damaging and old habits that are bad for us. And SO we can choose to learn to do things differently, if we are NOT careful, the enemy will trick us into believing, that NOTHING IS WRONG WITH US. BUT in fact many of us are bound by a spirit that is called codependency, and that develop from being raised by a narcissistic parent or parents.
Toxic people play on your sense of guilt. Especially if it's its family relationships. If they can push your guilt button, they can drag you deeper into the game. Being aware of demonic devices makes you more equipped and respond appropriately. So praying for wisdom is important.
@@natinamack5123 hello. Could you please give me some idea of what your mother did that was narcissistic? My daughter kicked me out of her life and is refusing to let me have any time with my two grandchildren. 18 months ago she texted me and told me that she had come to realize that I’m a narcissist and she didn’t want me in her life anymore or in the lives of my grandchildren. I didn’t even know what a narcissist was. I had heard other people call certain people that, but I really didn’t know what it was. So I’ve been reading about it and watching TH-cam videos on the subject and I still haven’t found myself in any of the definitions of the many forms of narcissism. We had such a wonderful relationship when she was growing up. We had a really good bond and we did lots of fun things together when she was a child and even after she became an adult. She even told people that I was a really good mom and that she was glad that I was her mom. I know I made mistakes, everyone does. But she was greatly loved and cared for by me and my whole family. She did go off to college and I missed her terribly, but she came home after a month because she was so homesick. I was disappointed for her that it hadn’t worked out. She got a job and started dating and eventually met the man she married. I was just happy that she was happy and had met and married someone she loved. Of course I still wanted to be a part of her life and I definitely wanted to be a part of my grand babies lives. But on her terms of course. I was just happy seeing them once a week for a couple of hours, if she wasn’t busy. This just came out of nowhere. I’m completely broken-hearted and I still don’t know what I did that would warrant being kicked out of her life. I just don’t understand what I did and she won’t tell me. I asked her if we could get some counseling together and try to work things out between us, but she said no. If you could give me any examples of what your mother did that was narcissistic so I can hopefully get some idea of what I did so I can fix myself, I’d really appreciate it. God bless. PS, of course there’s more to the story and I wrote it all out under this comment section where the original poster’s name is Heather. If you want to read the whole story you can find it there. I practically wrote a book, so I didn’t want to type it all out again.🤣 It’s okay if you don’t want to do that, I just thought it might make more sense if you knew the whole story. Thanks again and God bless.
I’m 100 % drained. I can’t even function anymore. I’ve lost the will to live. I can’t even dig myself out. I’m in the deepest hole I’ve ever been in my life.
@@nathansmith6365 This teaching is from a Christian perspective, if you disagree with that, then you are entitled to do so. But THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO COME ON THIS CHANNEL AND BASH PEOPLE FOR THEIR BELIEF'S.
This hit me hard. I'm a Christian who was married 24 years to a narc, trying my best to pray him into change..and finally divorced him when I was driven to suicidal thoughts! I'm now in the process of forgiving myself for being so gullible. And yes, the church community is NOT aware of this. My pastor kept telling me I need to "learn how to live with him." 😐 My goodness, you are so on point in what you're saying! Thank you for your wisdom and willingness to help others.
You can help others also with your testimony of what red flags were there and how others lied and concluded with the DELUSIONS of others that were harmful to you.. please dont waste your trial.. there are people all around you that can be spared the yrs of abuse because you are a living testimony of being faithful to the lord and not MORTAL MEN.. you ESCAPED Egypt and are going to the milk and honey.. may you be found faithful his COMING 🤗
@Richard Johanson Gods love = wanting the greater good for another person.. it's not LOVING to help them hurt them by not having no boundaries and not guarding your heart against darkness.
I agree. I was married to a taker , verbally & psychologically abusive person for 25 yrs. A month after our divorce I was in awe one day for I finally felt peace, relax, & for the first time felt calmness in my heart. I thank God that he opened my eyes, gave me strength to finally removed this man out of my life. I’ve been in peace since then.
The narcissist chgd me in a good way by making me be ok with being alone. I came from a big family and was never comfortable going anywhere by myself but yrs later n after some counseling...im FINALLY ok. Family never recognized how important "family" should be so i walked away n order 2b healthy.
I have been astonished by people in the church who pretend to be good, but do harm. What’s even more deregulating is that if you speak out against their behavior, you are then labeled as having a Jezebel Spirit. So, the narcissist gains even more control. What is even more upsetting is you then might be re-victimized, and counseled to forgive, for speaking against narcissistic behaviors, therein giving the narcissist more power. Sadly, some churches are no different than the world!
I'm so sorry to hear that has been your experience I wish I could say I was surprised. I pray that you will not let those people turn you off from God. He'll always be there for you.
I think you can make people aware in your church. I was fooled by a Christian Narc. My father is one and my stepdaughter but they were not Christian. It is much more painful for me as this person mirrored her christianity from me. I am deeply upset but 3 to 4 people know in my church so she can be watched. I have done everything to resolve situations with her but she is mean hateful and so angry. God showed me that I have to forgive her am working on that but its not easy.
@jeanago, yes, there is such a thing as spiritual abuse in churches and when it happens you can leave there. i have experienced something similar BUT BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO GOD IN MY TIME ALONE. NEVER GAVE UP ON GOD. I not only prayed for wisdom but discernment. Yes, there are wolves in sheep's clothing.
After 30+ years being married he was going behind my back talking to another woman. He hid big financial issues he had with his business. He started treating me like everything was a competition and argued and was in a bad mood. He wanted to start fights so I would leave. I found myself changing being in a bad mood and no patience with any thing big or small. He gave me anxiety and stress. He wouldn’t work on our marriage after my practically begging him over 6 years. I found out he was telling the other woman he loved her etc. Then he turned into someone I didn’t even know. He was terrible to me. Spending lots of money on the other woman, himself and wouldn’t do anything to help me. Finally he said he wanted a divorce. So I gave it to him even though I loved him. He broke up with her and went right on to another and lived with her while we were married. Finally the divorce is done and I’m free. My life is so much more peaceful and I’m not a emotional trauma bonded mess. I literally wanted to die. God opened my eyes and showed me the truth. I thank God for my healing and getting me to where I am today. Almost 3 years later. He constantly sends me messages to try to keep me thinking about him but I’m on to that. I don’t allow him to mentally control me anymore. I learned to put god first and me second always. God and I grew much closer and I trust him. God helped me heal and make it through. I had no idea what a narcissist was but I sure do now. Lots of lessons learned and I trust God with my life. Awesome talk and yes the church should address this issue I think it’s very important to teach people and young people before they end up in a marriage with one.
Can God change a narcissist? Yes. I’ve been one for a long time and didn’t know it. It’s been a long, painful process to realize and acknowledge my behavior, but my relationships with my wife and children have been improving. I’m grateful for God’s grace and equally grateful that my family didn’t give up on me.
@@karagraham9764 No, not diagnosed...just told by my kids that I am. Anyway, not sure what the difference is in being diagnosed and "high in traits". In any case, I've done a lot of reading/watching videos like this one and I think I easily fit the description.
@@edadan There’s diagnostic criteria for it. You can google narcissistic personality disorder criteria to see the list and you have to have a certain amount of them in order to be a true narcissist. Otherwise you might have some of the symptoms but not have the full blown disorder. If your kids are teenagers they are just being spiteful because it’s the catch phrase this year, that people are narcissists when in actuality they may just be acting in narcissistic ways without the full disorder
i suffered in a toxic marriage for almost an year. He tried to ruin me in every possible way. But by the grace of our lord Jesus now i'm out of it. Miracles do happen. Never lose your faith in god.
Amen I am glad you are out. My marriage didn't last 4 month's and I left the guy. A week after my wedding day last year he became so abusive that I prayed to God to remove me from such a marriage. My divorce was finalized two weeks ago and I am free from the narcissist.
She took my 2 month old child halfway across the country and cheated on me with her ex. Said I abused her and the child - of course I never did, but the courts believe anything. Evil - black eyes. I’m so sad for my daughter
I started to realize I was married to one from three things: can’t take any type of criticism from anyone. He is always pointing a finger at someone else when there are issues of any kind. And expects people to read his mind and know how to do things in the way he wants them done. Honestly, I’m exhausted. All the time. I used to love being around other people, but these days, I prefer to hide in a small quiet spot…away from people at all costs. I just don’t have the energy or desire to put on a happy face for others.
"Bad company corrupts good character." God said that we will eventually become like those we spend most of our time with. I have dealt with this a lot with entitled people. We are to be discerning in our giving. We can trust the Holy Spirit to tell us who to give to and who not to give to, its all about doing His Will.
Jesus called them His friends. When you give to another what they ask you make them your friend and you do not automatically become their friend. You make someone your friend when you give them what they ask for. That is the meaning of friend.
@@sandramorris7991 if your seeking out help that probably means you are not a narcissist Also just because you interupt people does not mean you area a narcissist.
@@maremare1655 A true friend according to the Bible is one who gives their friends what they "need", not only what they want, in fact giving something to a friend when it would harm them is not what a true friend would do. Proverbs 27:5-7 "…5Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 7The soul that is full loathes honey, but to a hungry soul, any bitter thing is sweet.…"
The realization that I've been living with a evil narcissist, only made me want to seek God even more. Now I need healing and guidance and I'm ready to to a better me in the future.
Dated a narcissist for 2 years. Didn’t know anything about narcissistic people before I met him. I eventually learned what he was but I am an empathetic person. I lost my peace, and developed panic attacks from this relationship. I told myself if I stayed in this relationship it would eventually kill me, but I stayed. I got extremely sick about four months ago and almost died. My health is still recovering, but God is so merciful and faithful.
I definitely noticed I was taking on traits and behaviors of my ex husband. Not only that, but my behavior was changing due to the chronic trauma I was enduring day in and day out. I was acting in ways that were so out of character for me, which created a lot of shame and guilt. Now that I’m free of that marriage, I finally feel back to myself and that’s why it’s so important to separate yourself from the toxic person, so you can gain clarity in all the confusion and come back your true identity.
This is exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for sharing because it’s been challenging for me to put into words. May God bless and heal you completely ✝️❤️
My husband I’ve been with for over 37 years displays all 8 behaviors and he’s covert. I am wise to his ways (it took many years) and he sees he has no control over me now and he doesn’t quite no what to do other than to ramp up his threats and nastiness towards me.
Healing from a “close” relationship with a covert narcissist is very heavy and hard. It takes a long time. Especially when others AND your family don’t see it !!
Yoh that explains what I'm dealing with now but cutting off communication and social media is helping.Its the worst experience to experience in all forms of friendship and narcissists I've ever dealt with
@Zaki... I can relate. I am doing to that to save my mental health. I went back to counseling because it was so draining, emotionally, spiritually, even physically, mentally. Praise God I am cutting off all ties.
(33) ". . . Who is My mother, or My brothers?" (34) And he looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! (35) For whoever does the will of GOD is My brother and My sister and mother " (Mark 3:33-35.)
Broke down crying when you talked about narcissists changing me. This is the first time i am hearing that because I don’t recognise myself anymore. Thank you for saying that. I am appalled at my recent reactions to his triggers. I cry always for help from God
#8 is the one major sign that made me realize I needed to separate myself from these people in my life. Though the other signs were very present, I realized that I had to go no/very limited contact because I felt like interacting with these people was changing me. When I started reacting in negative uncharacteristic ways out of frustration, confusion, exhaustion and hurt; I had to protect my mental health and peace of mind and separate myself from them. Family or not. There's a saying... "not my monkeys, not my circus" so I'll mind my business. Well I decided even if they are "my monkeys" (family) I don't have to stay in the circus (mess and abuse).
I'm married to a narcissist for 30 years. I've had to fight to validate my emotions. He claims my approach is wrong and this demeans me. I'm glad I'm learning about this trait and empowering and equipping myself to handle the situation better.
This is great! Narcissistic families and partners will often push for everyone to 'accept' the horrible, dismissive behaviour being given. You DO NOT have to stick around for poor treatment of any kind or any disrespectful treatment. Stand up for yourself and protect your right to live in peace.
Amen sister 🙋♀️ ✋ (smack!) Godly, righteous women have a very difficult time tolerating ongoing, never acknowledging, a talk that doesn’t match a walk, constantly gaslighting and unloving behaviors. Especially when they claim to be a “believer”! It’s just like Kris said, they have a form of godliness but deny it’s power 🔌they aren’t plugged into the Source of 💗 Love! It gives Our Precious Father, Son and Spirit a bad name and that is unacceptable on every level!
How did the narcissist changed me: not being able to trust anyone - to be extremely guarded. But after going to God asking for healing & discernment, I learned to set boundaries with others. Although others noticed the change when I gave them my boundaries, some respected my boundaries while others did not like them at all.
After 52 years, I had to accept that my family wouldn't change. I wasn't able to grow because of the verbal abuse, the covert rejection. I owned my pain and I walked away. I also realized that the family dynamics were still being played out from the way our narcissist father pitted them against me. I was still being made the scapegoat. I see that they are brainwashed and I was too. I was brainwashed into believing anything that ever happened in life was my fault. My father blamed me for his hatred for me because he felt I was the product on an affair. God has since opened my eyes up to see that the abuse from family stemmed from this and had been carried by me into my entire life because of being treated like he treated me in every job.
Same age as you and circumstances have gone no contact with both parents and all backstabbing siblings. It hurts like hell like your whole life was fake. Don’t miss the drama and scapegoating though the smear campaign is in full swing it’s the betrayal that hurts , then you realize they never cared and you were just supply to offload their denial of accountability. Good riddance!!! You are not alone! Hang in there it’s a long road to recovery but they’re not stealing your life anymore ❤️🙏
Did you ever think about getting a DNA test? That way, if he really isn't your father, then you have no obligation to even think about dealing with him and his mistreatment towards you.
I recently removed myself from a narcissist. And I've noticed that it definitely has changed my veiw about trust. I had an issue with trust entering into the relationship,but now I feel like it's even more difficult to trust people,who just may have good intentions. . But one thing I appreciate GOD for ,is that he has given me an extreme amount of wisdom ,and insight about myself,and how to use proper discernment. I thank GOD actually for the relationship I had with the narcissist, because I truly believe GOD used it for the purpose of ministry in my life,as a testimony. I thank him for giving me the boldness to stand up against unrighteousness,and to walk away from the narcissist, setting up my boundaries. I thank GOD for revealing the heart of the narcissistic predator that meant me harm. But now GOD is working it out for my good. I'm definitely not afraid of demon spirits,and thank GOD for not giving me the spirit of fear, and for giving me the POWER and Authority of JESUS CHRIST to cast the devil out
My 24 year marriage changed me because the verbal abuse beat me down over and over. I was so empty I literally lost fruit. I held onto God and He began restoring me. As I got healthier, he got worse. We ended up divorced. My family is that way too.
Wow - this video was spot on! I was married to a narc for 9 years and he was so toxic emotionally it was nearly impossible to love him - it was a one sided relationship and I never received any love back.. After setting up boundaries (which he didn’t like at all) eventually we divorced last year and God has restored my health, heart and emotions. Thank you for your clarity in describing what a true narc consist of…….I have cut him off completely and have regained my peace in life
Yes, it needs to be dealt with and taught in church. I was treated terribly by two pastors bc I was told that I wasn’t being submissive or this was my cross to bear. Many Pastors are not equipped to deal with personality disorders. The victim gets blamed. And yes, I was becoming somebody who I am not in our relationship. I didn’t like who I was becoming. I was behaving outside my own integrity. I had to leave the relationship because he refused to change.
Kris is so right! That is one that I’ve not thought of. The narcissist had destroyed my trust, my joy and I had to stop being who I am naturally because they take & take & take and run over boundaries repeatedly. My entire family is toxic and has this one person has caused me so much pain & heartache by destroying my relationships with the people I love most with gossip & lies over a long period of time. I stayed silent because I thought surely they’d see through it. But it backfired on me anyway. I’m so tired of having to prove myself that I just have to stop. I cannot tell you how much this channel has helped me! I’m so thankful for this. I can finally unravel my mind after 43 years of this, with the teachings of Jesus! Please pray for me. I’m up against so many & so much & have a small child.
Self awareness is KEY. Show me one Narcissist that has any SELF Awareness. Cant go any further until we have SELF AWARENESS, it's where it has to begin
I recently discovered that my husband of 36 yrs is a covert narrsasist. I'm a giver and an empath, AND codependent (which I just now discovered). Over the years, my confidence has been shattered and I struggle with drug addiction. I've always blamed myself for our troubled marriage. Now I see he is to blame also!
There are a ton of people listening to this video who were traumatized, abused, and miss treated as a child that chose to be a responsible, decent kind, loving adult
I have tried everything imaginable to help my wife of 34 years and never paid attention to people talking about Narcissists because “aren’t we all narcissistic “ that was prior to this winter when I made frightening discoveries. You have explained our relationship in great detail. She’s driving me crazy!
My sister is the textbook narcissist. She makes everything about her. The 8 signs you gave of a narcissist, every point fits her 100%. I truly believe she is on the highest end of the spectrum. We are both in our 60's now and I have finally come to the point I'm done with her. I'm a Christian and she is a proud atheist. Enough is enough. I value my peace and will no longer allow it. Thank you so much for your ministry. This video was a huge help! Ephesians 1:2
Oh sweetie I'm having the same problem with my sister. Except my sister isn't an atheist. She totally believes in God but has turned him into a God that suits her. I've tried sharing the gospel with her but it's become apparent she's not having any of it. I have truly tried to share truth with her but she just ends up attacking me so I'm going to leave it in God's hands. It really makes me sad but I know I can't help her. She literally will say I said something I didn't say and when I say I didn't say it she says I don't remember because of my my short term memory problems caused by my seizures. She's always playing the victim and has never once apologized to me. I always end up being the one who apologizes. I found out she's a covert narcissist. She fits every single sign. That's why it took so long to realize she was a narcissist.
I just LOVE this therapist…how she keeps it biblical…”We ALL HAVE narcissistic tendencies due to the sinful nature”….so so so true, annoying, irritating, sad and even depressing truth, but TRUTH none the less!
👍Absolutely! I left a church after realizing the Pastor I was partnered with was very controlling and demeaning. Then word got around to the Senior Paster that people in the church were becoming offended with others. His response was to preach that those who are offended need to get over it, "in love", but yet those doing the offending were in no way at fault or had any responsibility for the way they were treating others that was causing people to become offended.
Apparently I’m surrounded by narcissists and am a giving person. You can restore your life no contact no abuse your terms or no deal period for your own sanity
I felt compelled to provide a view on overt and covert parent. I am a mother and from your response being a child of the two I can see where you may feel your mother being the covert. From my experience with my ex did things which made me feel insignificant and put me down and live according to his way and very controlling and manipulative. This making me feel the need to feel I had no worth and wanting someone to acknowledge his abuse. Now if going for 20 years of this I feel some may label me as the covert but I don’t know if this would apply to your situation. Please don’t misunderstand me But could your mother possibly be hurting so bad that a little empathy is necessary?
In addition to God’s word, therapy, may help with you being able to process emotional responses with them, and begin the process of setting boundaries. Be blessed!
God has shown me many people are narcs. You meet others who have no problems discarding you and belittling you. I have learned to set boundaries and not take what they did at face value, it's their own struggles, we must protect ourselves at all costs.
After 24 years of being married to a so call Christian person who is a narcissist person. I finally ended. I didn't know l was married to a narcissist until I saw your video. Thank you and thanks God 🙏 for helping us.
One of the biggest problems with us as Christians is that we are afraid to let the narcissistic people reap what they sow….. it is as big a part of the kingdom of God as turning the other cheek…..
I’ve been looking for a Christian based video on how to deal with Narcissists and all the ones I found had a progressive/New Age POV. This is the first one I found that is actually rooted in the Bible and I am so glad I found this! My father has covert narcissistic tendencies and it has been tough dealing for my wife and I to deal with him and my mother (who seems to have flying monkey tendencies) in a loving, Christian manner.
My in laws too… how has your wife coped with this? It’s extra tough when it’s your in laws, Because you can’t just call it straight out, like u could with your own family. 😕
@@uplift56 remember the wiz and the flying monkeys, who didn't move to do anything until she said so? Well...flying monkeys are enablers and will believe anything the narc throws at them and say to them. Narc's also gaslight them, basically manipulating them by turning truth into lies by way of sabotage and deception. Hope this help? Also look Dr. C's videos...he talks a lot about narrcism and what's flying monkeys.
I no I've changed from being a kind generous person to someone that doesn't trust anyone especially women,all the women that were in my life always wanted something and stole everything, narcissism in family and partners is taught from a young age ,kids do what they see and learn from people around them,they will pick up any bad traits narcissists do in front of them
I asked God for an example of Him changing a narcissist in the Bible. I was reminded of Nebuchadnezzar. Think of the intensive God-given "therapy" he had to go through to bring him out of his delusions and into truth! Seven years of acting like & living with animals. But then he became sensible and acknowledged and gave glory to God.
So true! They accused HIM of operating by demonic power. Talk about "confession by projection"! They were jealous, power-hungry, malignant narcissists.
My daughter has refused to speak to me for 5 1/2 years. The Lord has strengthened me! I can sleep! I'm so thankful. That being said I miss her, my heart has been broken.
I appreciate your wisdom and the scriptures. For 40+ years I have been the family scapegoat, and I have had to endure a very toxic relationship with a family member. As a Christian I allowed the relationship to continue...which has nearly destroyed my physical health...because I thought it was the Christian thing to do. However, in the last couple years the level of Narcissism has increased and 3 weeks ago I had to go "No Contact" for my safety. It has taken me so long to do this because of the lack of understanding and support I have recieved in the church, so I really appreciate that the Lord led me to your video, and that you are addressing the "Elephant in the room/church."
You were right, as was I. Being a martyr, is the ultimate symbol of being a true follower of Christ. If you take a step back, like I did after 40 years, you’ll see that Jesus was the ultimate enabler, for God, who is the ultimate narcissist. We’ve been indoctrinated to not challenge anything related to the ways of god. I’ve never been freer of toxic behavior, when I allowed myself to see god for who he is. A masochist, and narcissist.
Also Shaneen Megji another Christian TH-cam personality has excellent videos on the topic. Her mantra, “ Toxicity is not your Destiny!” much love to you 🙏
I was constantly quizzed on Scriptures by my spouse. I ignored him. Then he began saying mixtures of Scriptures interpreted with differences I knew were from other pastors, but he said they were his. I again just listened. When I felt a release, I'd make a statement including the person's name who had blessed us with those perspectives. So he switched tactics on me by saying the Scriptures and interpretations and ask,"Is that right or not?" Even when he taunted me saying, "Aren't you a Bible teacher?" I just remembered in my mind,..Don't dishonor God's word by responding. The Scriptures are sacred. They are the way He speaks to us and how He has His relationship with us ❤. The Spirit will also step into the conversation for you. It's amazing 👏
Excellent video!! I've watched a lot of videos about Narcissism, but I liked that you brought God into the explanation. As a Christian, I could relate and have experienced a lot of what you presented. I have tried to "avoid" Narcissists but felt guilty about it. Now, I understand that the Bible says we should avoid those kinds of people. Thank you!! I learned a lot!!
1. There terrible listener (proverbs 18:13) 2. Extreme self worth behaviors (Roman 12:3) 3. Expect them to be in your circle of friends and family 4. They disregard criticism (proverbs 15:32) 5. They don’t take responsibility (proverbs 28:13) 6. They’re incredible envious 7. Their fake (nothing is genuine) 8. They’re changing you (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Jus for today I will put more energy on to today and let my empath voice rest lol but narc are wounded souls nit all bad but some are very bitter ( Tina and a few other lol I don’t hide I name names and pray they grow and most of all learn gratitude but today I want to put my energy and time in improving my day but thanks to all good energy that cross my path namaste love and light
My husband has all 8 traits! This is opening up all my childhood trauma finding out my parents and siblings are narcissistic and I was the scapegoat that everyone was after to destroy me!😭🚩
My thoughts are with you🙏Being used as a Scapegoat is a confidence stripping situation...and I once felt myself to be helpless in that kind of situation. The Only being there was God..that I could rely on, because no-one else wanted any involvement. The only True friend is God..and others who believe in Truth. It's amazing how many are so scared to speak the Truth and come out of their Comfort Zone, and some that you Thought were your friends are not. We don't have to tolerate it 🙏
The narcissist in my life has destroyed a lot inside. Especially since I wasn't believed by anyone and he could ruin me unhindered. Everyone loved him so I didn't find protection with anyone. I can smell the narcissist a mile away, and he smells me.
Talk about wisdom! How can so many Christian people tell us to keep loving no matter what, when narcissists are incapable of love. The love chapter in Corinthians is talking about God's love for us; only God can truly love to that extent. And only God can change a narcissists heart, and that's only if the narcissist chooses to respond to the love, most choose not to.
@@tigerlilywatkins3393 narcissistic loves empaths . It also has the word narcissistic in the bible. Jesus ignore the narcissistic ! You don't understand narcissistic don't & doesn't want to change . Dr. Pill even said , narcissistic canot be help. If narcissistic does go to see a therapist it not to get help but to use it to their advantage of to her their victims even more & narcissistic would pretend to get help to try to fake more about being a empaths ,to their advantage to here their victims even more . Narcissistic people can't love & give love ,it's fake . Narcissistic people is nothing but completely fake . They don't have empathy ,no remorse ,no guilt & no conscience . They need to be exposed . More people knows about narcissistic ,they can be exposed . The antidote to narcissistic is the truth of what they are . Dr.Phill has on u tube ,fill in the blanks . Fill in the blanks with Dr Phil talk about narcissistic of how to deal with them. In the bible it has the word narcissistic in the bible . Go to Google & say where in the bible that says narcissistic & it will tell you where to look in the bible for narcissistic & read it ,but when Jesus was here he ignores the narcissistic . Narcissistic think & believe they are above all . They think they are God ! Narcissistic think they own you . I blocked him on everything & change everything & completely no contact . They will hoover you by say they love & missed you ,they don't at all ,it's fake ,you apply back if you do ,you will get even more abuse . Anyone can be a narcissist your mother , Father ,a sister or brother or even a pastor . Read in the bible about narcissistic & on UTube they have like videos about narcissistic for survivors ,who been though narcissistic abuse . One is called Rebecca Zung & Andrew you not alone . They are different videos on UTube about narcissistic . Please educate your self about narcissistic ,I would never want anyone went though what I did with a narcissist . It's not women that goes though narcissistic abuse but also men's as well . Read in the bible about narcissistic ,& to go on UTube about Dr. Phil about narcissistic ,it's called ,Fill in the blanks. It is also a video called Narology unscripted videos about narcissistic to . Please educate your self . Once you find out what a narcissist is ,you might see you have a narcissist in your life .
Since being in a relationship with a narcissist, I no longer have confidence in my choices, major decisions. I cried because the abandonment I knew had happened and felt the lies, blaming and gaslighting came so great after much praying and crying, sobbing thoughts of suicide doubting my memory brought me to divorcing something I did not want to do but I was exhausted, no energy, no hope. I just did not stop crying it took 2 years. I laugh again but I do not trust. I believe I can not rely on a human. I have gained so much wt, developed a heart problem. But I am determined others would know God will not change someone who acts proud, is manipulating and lying. He does forgive those and change those who humble themselves before him acknowledge they have faults and want to bring Jesus glory. So I am trying to have my log removed from my eyes. I went no contact, as the narcissists always blamed and really can not recognize any good you offered or did for them. Never kept their promises let along the marriage vows. I mourned the child I saw in his photos but I can not help him in anyway. I accept he did not love me and is not capable of loving.
?? My mom used to think I was mad at her if I was a day or so late in calling her, though she'd never call me, I noticed. Also, she once told me that love is like a bank account. Each screw up or fight or favor is a withdrawal, and every show of giving lilove is a deposit, and you can get overdrawn. No, love is like love and doesn't operate like a bank account. Was what my mom said a sign of narcissism? A couple of summers ago, my mom, a retired pediatrician, decided she'd go behind my back and divulge my private medical information to a cousin of ours I barely knew, without my knowledge or consent. When I called her a couple of months later and asked her about it, my mom flew in a defensive rage on the phone, cutting me off, shouting over me, and then hung up. All I was doing was telling her that she does not have the right to do that. I am a 52 year old man, and she does not have the right to violate my rights to medical privacy. I told her that I cannot trust her. Then, she sent me a really nasty email, where she blamed me for the outrageous behavior she displayed on that phone call. I didn't reply. Later, I tried to set up a telehealth family counciling session, but she wasn't apologizing for her behavior. Because of that, I have not pursued the council ing sessions because I do not see any kind of regret for her behavior, and I don't want to risk wasting any therapist's time. I still don't feel I can trust her, so I feel the days of me confiding in her are gone. I've gone no contact with her. Did I deal with that correctly?
How has the narcissist changed me? I feel devalued and discarded, worthless and full of shame, condemned and guilty, unforgiven and accused, judged and sentenced. My Christian husband, because of something he wants me to do that involves my body, and my choice, threatened divorce unless I acquiesced. This week, he indicated he is filing for divorce. I can say so much more, because this is just the hair that broke the camel’s back. The worst part, when he wants to make a point, is to say that God is showing him…. It is going to be a difficult road back for me to feel worthy again. My husband has a rage problem, usually piqued by any sense of being blamed, or assuming I know what he is feeling, and he twists the Word, to suit his narrative. He lies, but in a way that he believes is not a lie by twisting things in a way that he justifies it. Whenever I had a concern about him, and would share from the heart, it would infuriate him, everything would then turn toward himself, and I never got resolution. In fact, I would be on my hands and knees begging forgiveness because how dare I think he is imperfect. Then weeks and weeks of notes left everywhere justifying himself and blaming me for whatever. I am already speaking in the past, and yet the papers have yet to arrive. He is a member of Mensa, highly intelligent but zero emotional iq. Sighs. Interestingly My father was a member of Mensa, highly intelligent and abusive, a true narcissist-. I do find though, that delving into the Word and playing worship music and praying for him helps. One thing I have found though is not to try to reason with unreason, and that the less I say or respond to, the better off I am. Thank you for your insight, from a Christian perspective. Please keep us in your prayers
I thank God for your ministry. I have been praying and asking the Lord for wisdom and He has certainly confirmed a lot of things through your teaching. To God be all the Glory. God will use what the enemy meant for evil for my good. All things are possible Kris! May the Lord continue to bless and keep you as you are feeding His sheep. May you hear well done my good and faithful servant. Again..Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Kris thank you for glorifying God through your ministry. Also you put things so well and easy to understand. There is much info in psychology on the topic but where Christian people struggle is how is it viewed from God's and the Word perspective and you really help to clarify so many things.
I had a conversation TONIGHT with my husband. We live in an RV park that requires dogs to be leashed and poop picked up. Husband doesn’t follow the rules which has ended up in a warning letter. After a counseling session I told him it was important to me that he follows those rules so we don’t get kicked out. He readily agreed and said he had no problem doing that. 20 minutes later, he takes the dog out and doesn’t pick up the poop. Which caused a big fight. A few weeks later it came up that he doesn’t think our fights are that big of a deal and he just moves on. I asked how. He said, “well, I don’t think poop is that big of a deal.” I told him that the issue wasn’t the poop it was a broken commitment mere minutes after promising to do so. He said I should be grateful that he didn’t lie about it and that the issue is he made a mistake and I’m not being gracious. This is on the heels of infidelity on his end. He claims that he isn’t being unfaithful, but counselor doesn’t think that’s true based on his behavior. I was grateful that today’s conversation was so clear. I wasn’t even upset, I was grateful God showed me so clearly that he is a narcissist. Praying for wisdom to navigate God’s will in the midst.
@Krys Elizabeth If you can plan your escape, start doing so immediately. Do not waste another precious year of your life with the monster inside your husband's body. From the time I wanted to leave til the time I actually could pull it off was 15 years. Yes, you read that correctly. I never really had the courage to do so until I became suicidal. I wasted a total of 35 years on a non-marriage to a man incapable of anything close to healthy human connection. Run!!!!!
wisdom? how do you feel in his presence? how do you feel in the presence of your friends AWAY from him? separate from him for several months; with little or no contact; if you are a LOT HAPPIER, then if u stay separated, he will then eventually commit THAT sin, then u can divorce him.
What's even more insidious is that narcs can drive you to adopt some of their strategies just to "compete" making YOU look like a narc yourself and they WILL use this against you.
I had to pause at eight minutes in. It was becoming a lot to take in as memories flood in. This information and connection to the bible verses is really special. Thank you for creating this video and doing the research.
I am christian all my long life. The church never addresses this kind of practical subjects to give us awareness, to help those to self examination and pray for change. I was told to forgive 7×70 and lost everything, exploited by 4 narcissists family members. I don't think the pastors themselves know how to handle this demons of narcissism. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your equipping ministry and teaching with us. Yes, wholeheartedly agree this needs to be taught in churches because so many Christians are targeted and exploited by these takers-wolves in sheeps clothing. We need to be trained how to recognize and discern when these tactics are being used against us. Training in church gets a big yes!
The reason why this doesn't get taught in the " church is because the " church is a business.. Gods people are the body of CHRIST, not a building built by MORTAL MEN.. and you see that to be true because people go in sick and come out sicker.. it is a personal RELATIONSHIP with the living CHRIST.. we must study to show ourselves APPROVED.. God will equipt us to discern quickly if we are set apart and not eating at the tables of DEVILS.. I pray God GOD continue to give you wisdom, discernment and revelation to help your fellow man as you now how new insight in truth.. and you can help others quickly, at your job, market place, there are 100 settings to go after the lost and share our testimony! Bless you.
I really love your video regarding narcissist. I really agree on everything you said. I am struggling with a Narcissist person who always put the blame on me puts me down and has no empathy at all. He is selfish self absorbed and arrogant. He is changing me into a bad person and he is very envious when he knows that I am doing well with my life he try to find something to use against me. I feel stronger listening to your video I learned so much from what you said. Thank you for sharing this video.
The title of this video captured my attention. I liked your presentation. It is a breathe of fresh air. I recently suspected my husband being a covert narcissist about two years ago after 33 years of being together. It has changed me so that now I feel like Now, I'm holding on to God for dear life. We definitely need more conversation like this in the Christian community. Going through this has made me feel isolated because I don't want to hear the "christian" platitudes. I felt like my faith was used to keep me in something that seems detrimental to my entire existence.
I know your comment is 1 year old but I still want to say I completely relate. Christian, narcissist husband, 33 years married and I only discovered two years ago that this horrible confusing personality/abuse had a name. I will pray for you M. ❤
I’m 17 and going through this with my narcissistic father. I see my younger siblings started to pick up on his behaviors and I’m worried.(I’m the oldest) I am trying every single day to better myself and start the healing process from everything!
God Bless You. Seek understanding and confirmation from God. He will show and tell you what to do. You are on the road to true healing and understanding, and with your knowledge and compassion you will help others. You are on the road less traveled. Prayers for your family, especially your siblings. God gives us "free will". Your siblings maybe in "reactive abuse" mode. Only time will tell, but you are there to show them a different way to live their life. Blessings to you dear one. Stay in prayer and God will show you how to manage your situation.
Yes, I think God can change a Narcissist. As you have already stated, God is a Gentlemen, and as such will not force his will on us. He also knows that before a true repentance can take place, the Narcissist needs to meet him in a place of truth about themselves, who they are and the damage they cause, and if that is coupled with a sincere desire for change and a willingness to do the hard work necessary to accomplish the goal. Then YES, I definitely think that he can change a Narcissist. But I don't think that the Narcissist can accomplish the full goal solely in their own strength, and must rely on God to finish and seal the work.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. Both of my parents are Narcissists . I have heard from both of them honor your mother and father. I have ptsd from the abuse from them .i for give my parents . Narcissists, are pure evil and are from the Devil. NARACISTS are liars, treat people awful, threaten your life, call you names much more. I am a Christian myself. Yes , there is Christians in church who are Narcissists also. I was friends with a few of them i for gave them but no longer talk to them. It's shame that no pastors can help you out when you tell them what you are going through. I left those churches where the pastors only told me to pray or they told me i got to deal with it. I go to a new Christian church now the pastor is there for the people.
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Hi Kris. All the traits you mentioned I have encountered in 2 different relationships--one covert, one overt. The first was a 35 year marriage and the second was a 75 day whirlwind until his mask slipped once and I disappeared from his life. What has me troubled is the shattering of trust. Both men had a strong profession of faith, yet in day-to-day life, there was a disregard for the other (me) completely contrary to scripture. Are these the ones that the Lord will say, "begone from me, I never knew you"? I also sensed a spirit of misogyny in both of them and other principalities.
I think this link is broken. The guide did not download
Thank you Kris!
@@gailrosenberg48 thank you dear sister for sharing
I am in the dame situation. I married a do called Christian so to work together for the Lord 🙏
He proved yo be the devil after he was sure he could grab all of labor I did for God. He joined other men manipulators and removed me from my ministry with 5he excuse of my womanhood. I know the situation is unbearable but I also know that my God is greater He is fighting the rightous battle for me and for the do many women I minister to. As you said the hate women they are jealous of our success they use the bible against the woman's ministry
@@gailrosenberg48you please be praying for me and my ministry. Women are in need of being understood and recover from rejection and depression. I am a Theologian an a counseling psychologist. I need lots of prayers
God can for sure change a narcissist. He changed me. But I begged and cried out for Him to do that. I learned to love Him more than myself. But it has taken years to overcome my narc traits. Still recovering and slowly changing those disgusting habits. With Jesus anything is possible. First step is to repent and humble yourself before the Lord.
How are you now?
Praise The Most High! I love hearing this!❤
@@foodeater1236 I am free. I think I just struggle with vanity but other than that I have a servant mindset. I don’t try to make everything about me. I stopped the manipulation and control and threatening and violent outbursts and revenge type behaviors. Just living a happy godly and free life in Jesus life. God is truly my Deliverer
@@Revival_Momma Indeed, the first step to change is looking at oneself and putting yourself in the position of others in which you'll think how you would act if what you did was done to you. The only thing that separates humans from animals is the ability to reflect upon oneself and one's actions.
The life of a Christian is one of constant self control and prayer, everyday we battle so that we won't fall back to our old ways. Good luck and may the Father bless youm
@@Revival_Momma God died on the Cross for EVERY ONE and that includes: people with ALL kind of problems...what makes one person or onother one better ?!...nothing at ALL ! He loves ALL of us the same and wants tô save ALL of us !
May the Lord bless and Guide you, you mean alot to Him believe It 10:07 my friend !!!
"The healthier you get, the worst the narcissist gets" Preach!!!!
So true.🇯🇲🌴💕
TRUTH! ADD a "victim mentality" n I'm in a constant battle to stay above water n sane 👍😭💯 it's EXHAUSTING 👍💯
True
Lord have mercy. This is so true.
I’ve noticed
1. Terrible listener
2. Extreme self worth, attention/validation
3. Hate criticism
4. Don’t take responsibility
5. Can’t apologize, get defensive
6. Envy, jealous
7. Fake, unhealthy attachments
8. Changing you thru manipulation and gaslighting
Thank you for listing them!
This is great. Narcissism needs to be addressed more especially in the Christian community.
It’s just SIN. Sinful people. Thus has always been addressed in the church. Sadly, people merge the teaching of a known occultist, Freud with Holy Scripture, and they think there’s something new to be heard or done.
The good, old fire and brimstone sermons....
Covert Narcissistic Pastors!
Yes
Amen! God is giving instruction to those who have ears to listen. It's necessary knowledge that He is giving us to help us deal with narcs and how to avoid and discern them. Very necessary to have these tools, this armor, to protect ourselves in this time of exponentially increasing narcissism. "The Days Of Noah" are upon us.
Fake, fake, fake all is fake but the most annoying part is when they have many faces, that, no one believes you when you say, “they are not so who they seem to be.”
This is my world with my hubby. What did you do?
When I was in a hell of a relationship with a narc, I was telling what was going on to my sister on the phone while travelling by train. When I finished the conversation, a homeless came out of the toilet, went to me and said 'you are to good for this boy, get out of this relationship as soon as you can' and went away. I was so surprised it really felt as if God was speeking through him and it was just the strenght that I needed to get away for the last time.
@Marjo Lein
God knew what you needed to hear. He placed that person right there to overhear your phone call. Wisdom comes in surprising ways and I hope you are acting on it.
Yes , there are earthly angels and Heavenly angels and God sends whichever one's we need ❤
Call me crazy but that may have been an Angel you encountered in human form
And some have even entertained angels
God Did. Signs and wonders.
“Honor thy mother and father” has been held over my head and repeatedly screamed at me by my narcissistic mother. She scores a 8/8 on your list. But, I forgive her, time and time again. And now in my mid 30s, and with a child of my own, I see that keeping her at arms length is the only way I can protect myself. I am highly sensitive and an empath. Most likely have PTSD from childhood, and much of it was gaslighting or verbal/emotional abuse or being told I’m “bad” and “broken”, while still showing the outside world how “perfect” our family was. I have had to accept I will never have the mother I wanted or needed. I have tried to not let it change me, but it has. I am much more sensitive to others. I have learned all the ways I want to love my child more and how NOT to parent. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but have a very supportive spouse. I’m only 13 minutes in to the video, but I feel like you are speaking to me. Thank you for your ministry.
If you grew up wt a Narcissistic mother and where the scapegoat, you can have Borderline Personality Disorder, the scapegoat of Narcissistic mothers get that, see video of Dr Judy Rosenberg. The child that where the golden child, turnes out to be a Narchissist themselvs.
Keeping them at arms length...it's how you handle any toxic person. Had an older sister, 3yrs, that I do bed satan. she was a classic and very dangerous covert narcissist. She married, 2nd time, a lawyer, who was her enabler. I quit talking to her 30yrs ago, she Never saw her grandkids even though they lived nearby..she died alone, only one narcissist friend who got what was left.She had multiple lawsuits, and judgements still pending..
Thank you for sharing. This verse has also been held over my head while I was growing up in a church culture with low education and next to no awareness on mental/emotional health or any psychological issues. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
Dont wait .get straight now .they get so much worse
My father, even this month, December, first week, 2021 held this verse over my head Proverbs 30:17. He asked me if I remembered it. I chose to ignore him. He taught it to my brother ane me when we were children, probably six or seven years old, then. Now I am 55.and married to a narcissist for 30.5 years and have two grown up sons.
A Covert Narcissist does apologies, but they are not remorseful and will make no changes in their behavior. They may make a small change but after shorter and shorter periods of time they will revert back to doing what they apologised for.
If a person truly loves you, he/she will feel the hurt when youre hurting too
Yessssss. So true. I want to live for God, and my husband is in the way. I will feel guilty for my behavior and ask God forgiveness, but my husband feels nothing and never sorry. I am very tired. I have changed, and I hate it
When you're wondering if you're dealing with a Narcissist, look for the "Three E's":
1. Entitled
2. Exploitative
3. Lack of Empathy
I was deceived by a covert religious Narcissist in "ministry," and lost $16,000.
I'm nearly 67 and am car camping till I can recoup the monies I lost.
I am so sorry you are enduring this. I have a ex husband who has conned the world with his Christian jargon. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing….for sure. Narcissists almost impossible to break free off. I pray your situation changes and gets better.
I’m so sorry. Thank the Lord I’m 61 and planned ahead enough that I am self sufficient. Stay away from takers.
Money cant buy your sanity, safety or SALVATION.. I'm so glad you made it out.. may your spirit man be richly replenished with wisdom, discernment, joy, faith, endurance, conviction, peace..may you recoup with your finances and be stable and able to teach others what to look for as you share your testimony of what lessons you learned in all this🤗
Mmmmmm. This is why we have to be VERY cautious, and choose to listen to the voice of the LORD AND HIS VOICE ALONE. HE WILL CONFIRM TO YOU WHETHER OR NOT, YOU SHOULD DO THINGS FOR HIS WILL OR NOT. I PRAY THAT THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU, AND THAT THE LORD RESTORE EVERYTHING THAT YOU LOST A HUNDREDFOLD 100 TIMES OVER IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN.
@@DJH97 It's NOT that they didn't plan ahead. Didn't you read what they typed completely? Generally the Lord will ALLOW US to go through various things, in order for us to comprehend what HE was trying to teach and show us in the midst of the situation. So, we can break damaging and old habits that are bad for us. And SO we can choose to learn to do things differently, if we are NOT careful, the enemy will trick us into believing, that NOTHING IS WRONG WITH US. BUT in fact many of us are bound by a spirit that is called codependency, and that develop from being raised by a narcissistic parent or parents.
When someone is showing you who they are - believe them and act accordingly. (before the disappointment causes disillusion)
If someone says they hate you believe them then avoid them.
Toxic people play on your sense of guilt. Especially if it's its family relationships. If they can push your guilt button, they can drag you deeper into the game. Being aware of demonic devices makes you more equipped and respond appropriately. So praying for wisdom is important.
@@fml5910 yes! This is exactly what happens with my mother and I.
@@natinamack5123 hello. Could you please give me some idea of what your mother did that was narcissistic? My daughter kicked me out of her life and is refusing to let me have any time with my two grandchildren. 18 months ago she texted me and told me that she had come to realize that I’m a narcissist and she didn’t want me in her life anymore or in the lives of my grandchildren. I didn’t even know what a narcissist was. I had heard other people call certain people that, but I really didn’t know what it was. So I’ve been reading about it and watching TH-cam videos on the subject and I still haven’t found myself in any of the definitions of the many forms of narcissism. We had such a wonderful relationship when she was growing up. We had a really good bond and we did lots of fun things together when she was a child and even after she became an adult. She even told people that I was a really good mom and that she was glad that I was her mom. I know I made mistakes, everyone does. But she was greatly loved and cared for by me and my whole family. She did go off to college and I missed her terribly, but she came home after a month because she was so homesick. I was disappointed for her that it hadn’t worked out. She got a job and started dating and eventually met the man she married. I was just happy that she was happy and had met and married someone she loved. Of course I still wanted to be a part of her life and I definitely wanted to be a part of my grand babies lives. But on her terms of course. I was just happy seeing them once a week for a couple of hours, if she wasn’t busy. This just came out of nowhere. I’m completely broken-hearted and I still don’t know what I did that would warrant being kicked out of her life. I just don’t understand what I did and she won’t tell me. I asked her if we could get some counseling together and try to work things out between us, but she said no. If you could give me any examples of what your mother did that was narcissistic so I can hopefully get some idea of what I did so I can fix myself, I’d really appreciate it. God bless.
PS, of course there’s more to the story and I wrote it all out under this comment section where the original poster’s name is Heather. If you want to read the whole story you can find it there. I practically wrote a book, so I didn’t want to type it all out again.🤣 It’s okay if you don’t want to do that, I just thought it might make more sense if you knew the whole story. Thanks again and God bless.
This is very true
I’m 100 % drained. I can’t even function anymore. I’ve lost the will to live. I can’t even dig myself out. I’m in the deepest hole I’ve ever been in my life.
Cry out to the Lord! He loves you!
Change those lies for the truth of God. Fight Satan with “It is written” and Satan will flee!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding acknowledge him and he will direct your paths!!!
Bullshit...trust in yourself...and lean into your own understanding
@@nathansmith6365 This teaching is from a Christian perspective, if you disagree with that, then you are entitled to do so. But THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO COME ON THIS CHANNEL AND BASH PEOPLE FOR THEIR BELIEF'S.
Yes.
If there is a god....its neither he or.she
❤️ 💕 ❤️
It should be talked about in church. My husband is a narc.its hard to keep boundaries,he's very sly,cunning and conniving.its very stressful.
This hit me hard. I'm a Christian who was married 24 years to a narc, trying my best to pray him into change..and finally divorced him when I was driven to suicidal thoughts! I'm now in the process of forgiving myself for being so gullible. And yes, the church community is NOT aware of this. My pastor kept telling me I need to "learn how to live with him." 😐 My goodness, you are so on point in what you're saying! Thank you for your wisdom and willingness to help others.
You can help others also with your testimony of what red flags were there and how others lied and concluded with the DELUSIONS of others that were harmful to you.. please dont waste your trial.. there are people all around you that can be spared the yrs of abuse because you are a living testimony of being faithful to the lord and not MORTAL MEN.. you ESCAPED Egypt and are going to the milk and honey.. may you be found faithful his COMING 🤗
@Richard Johanson Gods love = wanting the greater good for another person.. it's not LOVING to help them hurt them by not having no boundaries and not guarding your heart against darkness.
@Richard Johanson what prompted you to respond with this SCRIPTURE?
@Richard Johanson I looked up those verses and again I ask why did you choose to use that verse when I responded the first time. Thanks
@Richard Johanson what did you get from it?
Givers ( Empaths) have to have Boundaries; because TAKERS DO NOT! 🎯..You are right on the mark!👍
The sure don't. So glad my Lord showed me reality from his own perspective.
I agree. I was married to a taker , verbally & psychologically abusive person for 25 yrs. A month after our divorce I was in awe one day for I finally felt peace, relax, & for the first time felt calmness in my heart. I thank God that he opened my eyes, gave me strength to finally removed this man out of my life. I’ve been in peace since then.
Givers will always attract takers! I learned that the hard way!
The narcissist chgd me in a good way by making me be ok with being alone. I came from a big family and was never comfortable going anywhere by myself but yrs later n after some counseling...im FINALLY ok. Family never recognized how important "family" should be so i walked away n order 2b healthy.
I have been astonished by people in the church who pretend to be good, but do harm. What’s even more deregulating is that if you speak out against their behavior, you are then labeled as having a Jezebel Spirit. So, the narcissist gains even more control. What is even more upsetting is you then might be re-victimized, and counseled to forgive, for speaking against narcissistic behaviors, therein giving the narcissist more power. Sadly, some churches are no different than the world!
I'm so sorry to hear that has been your experience I wish I could say I was surprised. I pray that you will not let those people turn you off from God. He'll always be there for you.
I absolutely understand this scenario
I think you can make people aware in your church. I was fooled by a Christian Narc. My father is one and my stepdaughter but they were not Christian. It is much more painful for me as this person mirrored her christianity from me. I am deeply upset but 3 to 4 people know in my church so she can be watched. I have done everything to resolve situations with her but she is mean hateful and so angry. God showed me that I have to forgive her am working on that but its not easy.
Boom💥
@jeanago, yes, there is such a thing as spiritual abuse in churches and when it happens you can leave there. i have experienced something similar BUT BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO GOD IN MY TIME ALONE. NEVER GAVE UP ON GOD.
I not only prayed for wisdom but discernment. Yes, there are wolves in sheep's clothing.
After 30+ years being married he was going behind my back talking to another woman. He hid big financial issues he had with his business. He started treating me like everything was a competition and argued and was in a bad mood. He wanted to start fights so I would leave. I found myself changing being in a bad mood and no patience with any thing big or small. He gave me anxiety and stress. He wouldn’t work on our marriage after my practically begging him over 6 years. I found out he was telling the other woman he loved her etc. Then he turned into someone I didn’t even know. He was terrible to me. Spending lots of money on the other woman, himself and wouldn’t do anything to help me. Finally he said he wanted a divorce. So I gave it to him even though I loved him. He broke up with her and went right on to another and lived with her while we were married. Finally the divorce is done and I’m free. My life is so much more peaceful and I’m not a emotional trauma bonded mess. I literally wanted to die. God opened my eyes and showed me the truth. I thank God for my healing and getting me to where I am today. Almost 3 years later. He constantly sends me messages to try to keep me thinking about him but I’m on to that. I don’t allow him to mentally control me anymore. I learned to put god first and me second always. God and I grew much closer and I trust him. God helped me heal and make it through. I had no idea what a narcissist was but I sure do now. Lots of lessons learned and I trust God with my life. Awesome talk and yes the church should address this issue I think it’s very important to teach people and young people before they end up in a marriage with one.
Can God change a narcissist? Yes. I’ve been one for a long time and didn’t know it. It’s been a long, painful process to realize and acknowledge my behavior, but my relationships with my wife and children have been improving. I’m grateful for God’s grace and equally grateful that my family didn’t give up on me.
Have you been diagnosed as having narcissistic personality disorder or were you perhaps high in traits?
@@karagraham9764 No, not diagnosed...just told by my kids that I am. Anyway, not sure what the difference is in being diagnosed and "high in traits". In any case, I've done a lot of reading/watching videos like this one and I think I easily fit the description.
Amen! Same here! God is so good and faithful to those who follow after Christ Jesus and obey Him🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@edadan There’s diagnostic criteria for it. You can google narcissistic personality disorder criteria to see the list and you have to have a certain amount of them in order to be a true narcissist. Otherwise you might have some of the symptoms but not have the full blown disorder. If your kids are teenagers they are just being spiteful because it’s the catch phrase this year, that people are narcissists when in actuality they may just be acting in narcissistic ways without the full disorder
Thank you. People don't realize that narcissists always have friends who are narcissists too regardless if you think they are your friends.
This is so true. I recognized this a little late. Even his ex wife was narcissistic that he had a close friendship with.
i suffered in a toxic marriage for almost an year. He tried to ruin me in every possible way. But by the grace of our lord Jesus now i'm out of it. Miracles do happen. Never lose your faith in god.
Amen I am glad you are out. My marriage didn't last 4 month's and I left the guy. A week after my wedding day last year he became so abusive that I prayed to God to remove me from such a marriage. My divorce was finalized two weeks ago and I am free from the narcissist.
She took my 2 month old child halfway across the country and cheated on me with her ex. Said I abused her and the child - of course I never did, but the courts believe anything. Evil - black eyes. I’m so sad for my daughter
I started to realize I was married to one from three things: can’t take any type of criticism from anyone. He is always pointing a finger at someone else when there are issues of any kind. And expects people to read his mind and know how to do things in the way he wants them done.
Honestly, I’m exhausted. All the time. I used to love being around other people, but these days, I prefer to hide in a small quiet spot…away from people at all costs. I just don’t have the energy or desire to put on a happy face for others.
"Bad company corrupts good character." God said that we will eventually become like those we spend most of our time with. I have dealt with this a lot with entitled people. We are to be discerning in our giving. We can trust the Holy Spirit to tell us who to give to and who not to give to, its all about doing His Will.
Jesus called them His friends. When you give to another what they ask you make them your friend and you do not automatically become their friend. You make someone your friend when you give them what they ask for. That is the meaning of friend.
It appears that I must be a narcissist but I don't lack empathy. In fact I am very sympathetic and I can't stand to see other people suffer
I see myself in this video. I interrupt people.
@@sandramorris7991 if your seeking out help that probably means you are not a narcissist
Also just because you interupt people does not mean you area a narcissist.
@@maremare1655 A true friend according to the Bible is one who gives their friends what they "need", not only what they want, in fact giving something to a friend when it would harm them is not what a true friend would do.
Proverbs 27:5-7 "…5Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 7The soul that is full loathes honey, but to a hungry soul, any bitter thing is sweet.…"
The realization that I've been living with a evil narcissist, only made me want to seek God even more. Now I need healing and guidance and I'm ready to to a better me in the future.
Dated a narcissist for 2 years. Didn’t know anything about narcissistic people before I met him. I eventually learned what he was but I am an empathetic person. I lost my peace, and developed panic attacks from this relationship. I told myself if I stayed in this relationship it would eventually kill me, but I stayed. I got extremely sick about four months ago and almost died. My health is still recovering, but God is so merciful and faithful.
Only God can change a narcissist s heart, but first the heart has to be willing to accept God's word in his ❤.
Best thing I heard was to hope in God rather than hoping that the narcissistic person changes because That dries up the bones. Thank you.
I definitely noticed I was taking on traits and behaviors of my ex husband. Not only that, but my behavior was changing due to the chronic trauma I was enduring day in and day out. I was acting in ways that were so out of character for me, which created a lot of shame and guilt. Now that I’m free of that marriage, I finally feel back to myself and that’s why it’s so important to separate yourself from the toxic person, so you can gain clarity in all the confusion and come back your true identity.
This is exactly how I am feeling. Thank you for sharing because it’s been challenging for me to put into words. May God bless and heal you completely ✝️❤️
Yes!!! Oh goodness...yes!!
This is soooo needed to be discussed as satan was the first narcissist and when you find yourself caught up with one its very real and hard to escape.
My husband I’ve been with for over 37 years displays all 8 behaviors and he’s covert. I am wise to his ways (it took many years) and he sees he has no control over me now and he doesn’t quite no what to do other than to ramp up his threats and nastiness towards me.
So hateful..reminds me of my favorite aunt… everyone is passed… and I’m still here with all my unanswered questions 😕😭😶
Can totally relate. Unfortunately. Christian narcissists are the absolute most difficult.
So true. Dealt with it for a long time but Lord opened my eyes. No more.
Healing from a “close” relationship with a covert narcissist is very heavy and hard. It takes a long time. Especially when others AND your family don’t see it !!
Yoh that explains what I'm dealing with now but cutting off communication and social media is helping.Its the worst experience to experience in all forms of friendship and narcissists I've ever dealt with
I don’t think it is possible
So true
Yes I so understand. In the process of healing.. it's been a long 15 months. Looking forward to new beginnings.
@Zaki... I can relate. I am doing to that to save my mental health. I went back to counseling because it was so draining, emotionally, spiritually, even physically, mentally. Praise God I am cutting off all ties.
(33) ". . . Who is My mother, or My brothers?"
(34) And he looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said,
"Here are My mother and My brothers! (35) For whoever does the will of GOD is My brother and My sister and mother "
(Mark 3:33-35.)
AMEN.. MAY HE WHO HAS AN EAR LET HIM HEAR WHAT THE SPIRIT IS SAYING TO THE CHURCH!!!! STAY AWAKE AND FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH TIL THE END!
Preach Linda ! 🤗
Broke down crying when you talked about narcissists changing me. This is the first time i am hearing that because I don’t recognise myself anymore. Thank you for saying that. I am appalled at my recent reactions to his triggers. I cry always for help from God
#8 is the one major sign that made me realize I needed to separate myself from these people in my life. Though the other signs were very present, I realized that I had to go no/very limited contact because I felt like interacting with these people was changing me. When I started reacting in negative uncharacteristic ways out of frustration, confusion, exhaustion and hurt; I had to protect my mental health and peace of mind and separate myself from them. Family or not.
There's a saying... "not my monkeys, not my circus" so I'll mind my business. Well I decided even if they are "my monkeys" (family) I don't have to stay in the circus (mess and abuse).
They change you in the way that they disrespect and humiliate you until nothing is left of you.
I'm married to a narcissist for 30 years. I've had to fight to validate my emotions. He claims my approach is wrong and this demeans me. I'm glad I'm learning about this trait and empowering and equipping myself to handle the situation better.
Yes! God can change a narcissist. But he won't override our God-given will.
This is great! Narcissistic families and partners will often push for everyone to 'accept' the horrible, dismissive behaviour being given. You DO NOT have to stick around for poor treatment of any kind or any disrespectful treatment. Stand up for yourself and protect your right to live in peace.
Amen sister 🙋♀️ ✋ (smack!)
Godly, righteous women have a very difficult time tolerating ongoing, never acknowledging, a talk that doesn’t match a walk, constantly gaslighting and unloving behaviors. Especially when they claim to be a “believer”!
It’s just like Kris said, they have a form of godliness but deny it’s power 🔌they aren’t plugged into the Source of 💗 Love!
It gives Our Precious Father, Son and Spirit a bad name and that is unacceptable on every level!
@@Thankful305 so true. Bless you and your awareness! Stay strong. God is so gracious and good and knows our hearts 💓💓💗
@@Thankful305 Very interesting. I had not correlated this scripture with narcissim., but it seems to fit!
How did the narcissist changed me: not being able to trust anyone - to be extremely guarded. But after going to God asking for healing & discernment, I learned to set boundaries with others. Although others noticed the change when I gave them my boundaries, some respected my boundaries while others did not like them at all.
After 52 years, I had to accept that my family wouldn't change. I wasn't able to grow because of the verbal abuse, the covert rejection. I owned my pain and I walked away. I also realized that the family dynamics were still being played out from the way our narcissist father pitted them against me. I was still being made the scapegoat. I see that they are brainwashed and I was too. I was brainwashed into believing anything that ever happened in life was my fault. My father blamed me for his hatred for me because he felt I was the product on an affair. God has since opened my eyes up to see that the abuse from family stemmed from this and had been carried by me into my entire life because of being treated like he treated me in every job.
Same age as you and circumstances have gone no contact with both parents and all backstabbing siblings. It hurts like hell like your whole life was fake. Don’t miss the drama and scapegoating though the smear campaign is in full swing it’s the betrayal that hurts , then you realize they never cared and you were just supply to offload their denial of accountability. Good riddance!!! You are not alone! Hang in there it’s a long road to recovery but they’re not stealing your life anymore ❤️🙏
Did you ever think about getting a DNA test? That way, if he really isn't your father, then you have no obligation to even think about dealing with him and his mistreatment towards you.
I recently removed myself from a narcissist. And I've noticed that it definitely has changed my veiw about trust. I had an issue with trust entering into the relationship,but now I feel like it's even more difficult to trust people,who just may have good intentions. . But one thing I appreciate GOD for ,is that he has given me an extreme amount of wisdom ,and insight about myself,and how to use proper discernment. I thank GOD actually for the relationship I had with the narcissist, because I truly believe GOD used it for the purpose of ministry in my life,as a testimony. I thank him for giving me the boldness to stand up against unrighteousness,and to walk away from the narcissist, setting up my boundaries. I thank GOD for revealing the heart of the narcissistic predator that meant me harm. But now GOD is working it out for my good. I'm definitely not afraid of demon spirits,and thank GOD for not giving me the spirit of fear, and for giving me the POWER and Authority of JESUS CHRIST to cast the devil out
Yes God can change a narcissist. God can do anything.
King Nebuchadnezzar was a narcissist. God humbled him.
My 24 year marriage changed me because the verbal abuse beat me down over and over. I was so empty I literally lost fruit. I held onto God and He began restoring me. As I got healthier, he got worse. We ended up divorced.
My family is that way too.
Same here.
✝️🙏🛐👍.
I’m sorry this happened to you
Wow - this video was spot on! I was married to a narc for 9 years and he was so toxic emotionally it was nearly impossible to love him - it was a one sided relationship and I never received any love back.. After setting up boundaries (which he didn’t like at all) eventually we divorced last year and God has restored my health, heart and emotions. Thank you for your clarity in describing what a true narc consist of…….I have cut him off completely and have regained my peace in life
👍
Yes, it needs to be dealt with and taught in church. I was treated terribly by two pastors bc I was told that I wasn’t being submissive or this was my cross to bear. Many Pastors are not equipped to deal with personality disorders. The victim gets blamed. And yes, I was becoming somebody who I am not in our relationship. I didn’t like who I was becoming.
I was behaving outside my own integrity. I had to leave the relationship because he refused to change.
How about leaders in the church that are narcissists?
Kris is so right! That is one that I’ve not thought of. The narcissist had destroyed my trust, my joy and I had to stop being who I am naturally because they take & take & take and run over boundaries repeatedly. My entire family is toxic and has this one person has caused me so much pain & heartache by destroying my relationships with the people I love most with gossip & lies over a long period of time. I stayed silent because I thought surely they’d see through it. But it backfired on me anyway. I’m so tired of having to prove myself that I just have to stop.
I cannot tell you how much this channel has helped me! I’m so thankful for this. I can finally unravel my mind after 43 years of this, with the teachings of Jesus! Please pray for me. I’m up against so many & so much & have a small child.
✝️🙏🛐. Prayers for you.
Amen
@@Orthodixi thank you 🙏🏻
@@Prometheuspredator thank you 🙏🏻
Self awareness is KEY. Show me one Narcissist that has any SELF Awareness. Cant go any further until we have SELF AWARENESS, it's where it has to begin
I recently discovered that my husband of 36 yrs is a covert narrsasist. I'm a giver and an empath, AND codependent (which I just now discovered). Over the years, my confidence has been shattered and I struggle with drug addiction. I've always blamed myself for our troubled marriage. Now I see he is to blame also!
There are a ton of people listening to this video who were traumatized, abused, and miss treated as a child that chose to be a responsible, decent kind, loving adult
I don’t think I will have enough words to express how GRATEFUL I am for this video and your entire TH-cam channel. Thank you for your great work!
Thanks so much for watching and your words of encouragement. I'm glad you're receiving from the channel.
I have tried everything imaginable to help my wife of 34 years and never paid attention to people talking about Narcissists because “aren’t we all narcissistic “ that was prior to this winter when I made frightening discoveries. You have explained our relationship in great detail. She’s driving me crazy!
My sister is the textbook narcissist. She makes everything about her. The 8 signs you gave of a narcissist, every point fits her 100%. I truly believe she is on the highest end of the spectrum. We are both in our 60's now and I have finally come to the point I'm done with her. I'm a Christian and she is a proud atheist. Enough is enough. I value my peace and will no longer allow it. Thank you so much for your ministry. This video was a huge help!
Ephesians 1:2
Oh sweetie I'm having the same problem with my sister. Except my sister isn't an atheist. She totally believes in God but has turned him into a God that suits her. I've tried sharing the gospel with her but it's become apparent she's not having any of it. I have truly tried to share truth with her but she just ends up attacking me so I'm going to leave it in God's hands. It really makes me sad but I know I can't help her. She literally will say I said something I didn't say and when I say I didn't say it she says I don't remember because of my my short term memory problems caused by my seizures. She's always playing the victim and has never once apologized to me. I always end up being the one who apologizes. I found out she's a covert narcissist. She fits every single sign. That's why it took so long to realize she was a narcissist.
Peace needs to be protected at all costs . Wise counsel
I just LOVE this therapist…how she keeps it biblical…”We ALL HAVE narcissistic tendencies due to the sinful nature”….so so so true, annoying, irritating, sad and even depressing truth, but TRUTH none the less!
👍Absolutely! I left a church after realizing the Pastor I was partnered with was very controlling and demeaning. Then word got around to the Senior Paster that people in the church were becoming offended with others. His response was to preach that those who are offended need to get over it, "in love", but yet those doing the offending were in no way at fault or had any responsibility for the way they were treating others that was causing people to become offended.
Very good point.
Apparently I’m surrounded by narcissists and am a giving person. You can restore your life no contact no abuse your terms or no deal period for your own sanity
My father is a overt narcissist. My mother is a covert narcissist. I’m struggling to cope and set boundaries
I felt compelled to provide a view on overt and covert parent. I am a mother and from your response being a child of the two I can see where you may feel your mother being the covert. From my experience with my ex did things which made me feel insignificant and put me down and live according to his way and very controlling and manipulative. This making me feel the need to feel I had no worth and wanting someone to acknowledge his abuse. Now if going for 20 years of this I feel some may label me as the covert but I don’t know if this would apply to your situation. Please don’t misunderstand me But could your mother possibly be hurting so bad that a little empathy is necessary?
In addition to God’s word, therapy, may help with you being able to process emotional responses with them, and begin the process of setting boundaries. Be blessed!
Oopsivedoneitagain is so very wrong.
God has shown me many people are narcs. You meet others who have no problems discarding you and belittling you. I have learned to set boundaries and not take what they did at face value, it's their own struggles, we must protect ourselves at all costs.
After 24 years of being married to a so call Christian person who is a narcissist person. I finally ended. I didn't know l was married to a narcissist until I saw your video. Thank you and thanks God 🙏 for helping us.
One of the biggest problems with us as Christians is that we are afraid to let the narcissistic people reap what they sow….. it is as big a part of the kingdom of God as turning the other cheek…..
I’ve been looking for a Christian based video on how to deal with Narcissists and all the ones I found had a progressive/New Age POV. This is the first one I found that is actually rooted in the Bible and I am so glad I found this!
My father has covert narcissistic tendencies and it has been tough dealing for my wife and I to deal with him and my mother (who seems to have flying monkey tendencies) in a loving, Christian manner.
Thanks for watching. I'm so glad you're finding the content helpful. Blessings!
My in laws too… how has your wife coped with this? It’s extra tough when it’s your in laws, Because you can’t just call it straight out, like u could with your own family. 😕
This is also my first Christian based narcism channel very good.I feel i can share it with my christian brothers and sisters.
What is the “Flying Monkey tendencies “ 👀??
@@uplift56 remember the wiz and the flying monkeys, who didn't move to do anything until she said so? Well...flying monkeys are enablers and will believe anything the narc throws at them and say to them. Narc's also gaslight them, basically manipulating them by turning truth into lies by way of sabotage and deception. Hope this help? Also look Dr. C's videos...he talks a lot about narrcism and what's flying monkeys.
I no I've changed from being a kind generous person to someone that doesn't trust anyone especially women,all the women that were in my life always wanted something and stole everything, narcissism in family and partners is taught from a young age ,kids do what they see and learn from people around them,they will pick up any bad traits narcissists do in front of them
I asked God for an example of Him changing a narcissist in the Bible. I was reminded of Nebuchadnezzar. Think of the intensive God-given "therapy" he had to go through to bring him out of his delusions and into truth! Seven years of acting like & living with animals. But then he became sensible and acknowledged and gave glory to God.
Jesus was Stalked by Narcissists ‼️
So true! They accused HIM of operating by demonic power. Talk about "confession by projection"! They were jealous, power-hungry, malignant narcissists.
@@JessicaJLandi At the End Time, the Narcissists and their Flying Monkeys will get burned ‼️
My daughter has refused to speak to me for 5 1/2 years. The Lord has strengthened me! I can sleep! I'm so thankful. That being said I miss her, my heart has been broken.
I appreciate your wisdom and the scriptures. For 40+ years I have been the family scapegoat, and I have had to endure a very toxic relationship with a family member. As a Christian I allowed the relationship to continue...which has nearly destroyed my physical health...because I thought it was the Christian thing to do. However, in the last couple years the level of Narcissism has increased and 3 weeks ago I had to go "No Contact" for my safety. It has taken me so long to do this because of the lack of understanding and support I have recieved in the church, so I really appreciate that the Lord led me to your video, and that you are addressing the "Elephant in the room/church."
You were right, as was I. Being a martyr, is the ultimate symbol of being a true follower of Christ. If you take a step back, like I did after 40 years, you’ll see that Jesus was the ultimate enabler, for God, who is the ultimate narcissist. We’ve been indoctrinated to not challenge anything related to the ways of god. I’ve never been freer of toxic behavior, when I allowed myself to see god for who he is. A masochist, and narcissist.
@@donnaanderson2846 no....Allah is Mercy,Justice,Kindness,Wisdom and love at all times....may you and i find our lost wisdom asap....aameen
Yes there are narcissistic priests/scholars in mosques too...but that has nothing to do with Islam and my beliefs in Allah swt Alhamdulillah
Also Shaneen Megji another Christian TH-cam personality has excellent videos on the topic. Her mantra, “ Toxicity is not your Destiny!” much love to you 🙏
@@donnaanderson2846
What so called Christian abused you?
I was constantly quizzed on Scriptures by my spouse. I ignored him. Then he began saying mixtures of Scriptures interpreted with differences I knew were from other pastors, but he said they were his. I again just listened. When I felt a release, I'd make a statement including the person's name who had blessed us with those perspectives. So he switched tactics on me by saying the Scriptures and interpretations and ask,"Is that right or not?" Even when he taunted me saying, "Aren't you a Bible teacher?" I just remembered in my mind,..Don't dishonor God's word by responding. The Scriptures are sacred. They are the way He speaks to us and how He has His relationship with us ❤. The Spirit will also step into the conversation for you. It's amazing 👏
Excellent video!! I've watched a lot of videos about Narcissism, but I liked that you brought God into the explanation. As a Christian, I could relate and have experienced a lot of what you presented. I have tried to "avoid" Narcissists but felt guilty about it. Now, I understand that the Bible says we should avoid those kinds of people. Thank you!! I learned a lot!!
Agreed. My thoughts exactly.
There is No mutual giving in a relationship with a narcissistic person, it’s a one-way taking on their part.
1. There terrible listener (proverbs 18:13)
2. Extreme self worth behaviors (Roman 12:3)
3. Expect them to be in your circle of friends and family
4. They disregard criticism (proverbs 15:32)
5. They don’t take responsibility (proverbs 28:13)
6. They’re incredible envious
7. Their fake (nothing is genuine)
8. They’re changing you (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Thank you ❤️
Yes‼️The Church is WAY behind on this.
Every major institution is. Bless
Control is there goal and losing my mind is what I end up doing.
Jus for today I will put more energy on to today and let my empath voice rest lol but narc are wounded souls nit all bad but some are very bitter ( Tina and a few other lol I don’t hide I name names and pray they grow and most of all learn gratitude but today I want to put my energy and time in improving my day but thanks to all good energy that cross my path namaste love and light
God can change a narcissist sis but only when he punishes them and shows them they are nothing but fake evil psychos. I love you
My husband has all 8 traits! This is opening up all my childhood trauma finding out my parents and siblings are narcissistic and I was the scapegoat that everyone was after to destroy me!😭🚩
My thoughts are with you🙏Being used as a Scapegoat is a confidence stripping situation...and I once felt myself to be helpless in that kind of situation. The Only being there was God..that I could rely on, because no-one else wanted any involvement. The only True friend is God..and others who believe in Truth. It's amazing how many are so scared to speak the Truth and come out of their Comfort Zone, and some that you Thought were your friends are not. We don't have to tolerate it 🙏
The narcissist in my life has destroyed a lot inside. Especially since I wasn't believed by anyone and he could ruin me unhindered. Everyone loved him so I didn't find protection with anyone. I can smell the narcissist a mile away, and he smells me.
The narcissist can't give love & show love ! If you don't have love ,you have nothing !! Thank you for your video & God blessed you !!
Talk about wisdom! How can so many Christian people tell us to keep loving no matter what, when narcissists are incapable of love. The love chapter in Corinthians is talking about God's love for us; only God can truly love to that extent. And only God can change a narcissists heart, and that's only if the narcissist chooses to respond to the love, most choose not to.
@@tigerlilywatkins3393 narcissistic loves empaths . It also has the word narcissistic in the bible. Jesus ignore the narcissistic ! You don't understand narcissistic don't & doesn't want to change . Dr. Pill even said , narcissistic canot be help. If narcissistic does go to see a therapist it not to get help but to use it to their advantage of to her their victims even more & narcissistic would pretend to get help to try to fake more about being a empaths ,to their advantage to here their victims even more . Narcissistic people can't love & give love ,it's fake . Narcissistic people is nothing but completely fake . They don't have empathy ,no remorse ,no guilt & no conscience . They need to be exposed . More people knows about narcissistic ,they can be exposed . The antidote to narcissistic is the truth of what they are . Dr.Phill has on u tube ,fill in the blanks . Fill in the blanks with Dr Phil talk about narcissistic of how to deal with them. In the bible it has the word narcissistic in the bible . Go to Google & say where in the bible that says narcissistic & it will tell you where to look in the bible for narcissistic & read it ,but when Jesus was here he ignores the narcissistic . Narcissistic think & believe they are above all . They think they are God ! Narcissistic think they own you . I blocked him on everything & change everything & completely no contact . They will hoover you by say they love & missed you ,they don't at all ,it's fake ,you apply back if you do ,you will get even more abuse . Anyone can be a narcissist your mother , Father ,a sister or brother or even a pastor . Read in the bible about narcissistic & on UTube they have like videos about narcissistic for survivors ,who been though narcissistic abuse . One is called Rebecca Zung & Andrew you not alone . They are different videos on UTube about narcissistic . Please educate your self about narcissistic ,I would never want anyone went though what I did with a narcissist . It's not women that goes though narcissistic abuse but also men's as well . Read in the bible about narcissistic ,& to go on UTube about Dr. Phil about narcissistic ,it's called ,Fill in the blanks. It is also a video called Narology unscripted videos about narcissistic to . Please educate your self . Once you find out what a narcissist is ,you might see you have a narcissist in your life .
Since being in a relationship with a narcissist, I no longer have confidence in my choices, major decisions. I cried because the abandonment I knew had happened and felt the lies, blaming and gaslighting came so great after much praying and crying, sobbing thoughts of suicide doubting my memory brought me to divorcing something I did not want to do but I was exhausted, no energy, no hope. I just did not stop crying it took 2 years. I laugh again but I do not trust. I believe I can not rely on a human. I have gained so much wt, developed a heart problem. But I am determined others would know God will not change someone who acts proud, is manipulating and lying. He does forgive those and change those who humble themselves before him acknowledge they have faults and want to bring Jesus glory. So I am trying to have my log removed from my eyes. I went no contact, as the narcissists always blamed and really can not recognize any good you offered or did for them. Never kept their promises let along the marriage vows. I mourned the child I saw in his photos but I can not help him in anyway. I accept he did not love me and is not capable of loving.
Thank you for this! Absolutely one of the best and my first Christian based one ♡
I'm so glad you found it helpful. thanks for watching.
?? My mom used to think I was mad at her if I was a day or so late in calling her, though she'd never call me, I noticed.
Also, she once told me that love is like a bank account. Each screw up or fight or favor is a withdrawal, and every show of giving lilove is a deposit, and you can get overdrawn.
No, love is like love and doesn't operate like a bank account.
Was what my mom said a sign of narcissism?
A couple of summers ago, my mom, a retired pediatrician, decided she'd go behind my back and divulge my private medical information to a cousin of ours I barely knew, without my knowledge or consent. When I called her a couple of months later and asked her about it, my mom flew in a defensive rage on the phone, cutting me off, shouting over me, and then hung up. All I was doing was telling her that she does not have the right to do that. I am a 52 year old man, and she does not have the right to violate my rights to medical privacy. I told her that I cannot trust her.
Then, she sent me a really nasty email, where she blamed me for the outrageous behavior she displayed on that phone call. I didn't reply.
Later, I tried to set up a telehealth family counciling session, but she wasn't apologizing for her behavior. Because of that, I have not pursued the council ing sessions because I do not see any kind of regret for her behavior, and I don't want to risk wasting any therapist's time.
I still don't feel I can trust her, so I feel the days of me confiding in her are gone. I've gone no contact with her.
Did I deal with that correctly?
How has the narcissist changed me? I feel devalued and discarded, worthless and full of shame, condemned and guilty, unforgiven and accused, judged and sentenced. My Christian husband, because of something he wants me to do that involves my body, and my choice, threatened divorce unless I acquiesced. This week, he indicated he is filing for divorce. I can say so much more, because this is just the hair that broke the camel’s back. The worst part, when he wants to make a point, is to say that God is showing him…. It is going to be a difficult road back for me to feel worthy again. My husband has a rage problem, usually piqued by any sense of being blamed, or assuming I know what he is feeling, and he twists the Word, to suit his narrative. He lies, but in a way that he believes is not a lie by twisting things in a way that he justifies it. Whenever I had a concern about him, and would share from the heart, it would infuriate him, everything would then turn toward himself, and I never got resolution. In fact, I would be on my hands and knees begging forgiveness because how dare I think he is imperfect. Then weeks and weeks of notes left everywhere justifying himself and blaming me for whatever. I am already speaking in the past, and yet the papers have yet to arrive. He is a member of Mensa, highly intelligent but zero emotional iq. Sighs.
Interestingly My father was a member of Mensa, highly intelligent and abusive, a true narcissist-. I do find though, that delving into the Word and playing worship music and praying for him helps. One thing I have found though is not to try to reason with unreason, and that the less I say or respond to, the better off I am. Thank you for your insight, from a Christian perspective. Please keep us in your prayers
I have ended a covert narc after two years. Made me realise I had to stop talking to my narc mum too
I thank God for your ministry. I have been praying and asking the Lord for wisdom and He has certainly confirmed a lot of things through your teaching. To God be all the Glory. God will use what the enemy meant for evil for my good. All things are possible Kris! May the Lord continue to bless and keep you as you are feeding His sheep. May you hear well done my good and faithful servant. Again..Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This lady Kris Reece is the best on TH-cam. Glad I found her.
Kris thank you for glorifying God through your ministry. Also you put things so well and easy to understand. There is much info in psychology on the topic but where Christian people struggle is how is it viewed from God's and the Word perspective and you really help to clarify so many things.
I'm.a loving forgiving person but my lesson is to love me like I never was loved
I had a conversation TONIGHT with my husband. We live in an RV park that requires dogs to be leashed and poop picked up. Husband doesn’t follow the rules which has ended up in a warning letter. After a counseling session I told him it was important to me that he follows those rules so we don’t get kicked out. He readily agreed and said he had no problem doing that. 20 minutes later, he takes the dog out and doesn’t pick up the poop. Which caused a big fight. A few weeks later it came up that he doesn’t think our fights are that big of a deal and he just moves on. I asked how. He said, “well, I don’t think poop is that big of a deal.” I told him that the issue wasn’t the poop it was a broken commitment mere minutes after promising to do so. He said I should be grateful that he didn’t lie about it and that the issue is he made a mistake and I’m not being gracious. This is on the heels of infidelity on his end. He claims that he isn’t being unfaithful, but counselor doesn’t think that’s true based on his behavior. I was grateful that today’s conversation was so clear. I wasn’t even upset, I was grateful God showed me so clearly that he is a narcissist. Praying for wisdom to navigate God’s will in the midst.
@Krys Elizabeth
If you can plan your escape, start doing so immediately. Do not waste another precious year of your life with the monster inside your husband's body. From the time I wanted to leave til the time I actually could pull it off was 15 years. Yes, you read that correctly. I never really had the courage to do so until I became suicidal. I wasted a total of 35 years on a non-marriage to a man incapable of anything close to healthy human connection. Run!!!!!
wisdom? how do you feel in his presence? how do you feel in the presence of your friends AWAY from him? separate from him for several months; with little or no contact; if you are a LOT HAPPIER, then if u stay separated, he will then eventually commit THAT sin, then u can divorce him.
What's even more insidious is that narcs can drive you to adopt some of their strategies just to "compete" making YOU look like a narc yourself and they WILL use this against you.
I had to pause at eight minutes in. It was becoming a lot to take in as memories flood in. This information and connection to the bible verses is really special. Thank you for creating this video and doing the research.
I am christian all my long life.
The church never addresses this kind of practical subjects to give us awareness, to help those to self examination and pray for change.
I was told to forgive 7×70 and lost everything, exploited by 4 narcissists family members.
I don't think the pastors themselves know how to handle this demons of narcissism.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your equipping ministry and teaching with us. Yes, wholeheartedly agree this needs to be taught in churches because so many Christians are targeted and exploited by these takers-wolves in sheeps clothing. We need to be trained how to recognize and discern when these tactics are being used against us. Training in church gets a big yes!
The reason why this doesn't get taught in the " church is because the " church is a business.. Gods people are the body of CHRIST, not a building built by MORTAL MEN.. and you see that to be true because people go in sick and come out sicker.. it is a personal RELATIONSHIP with the living CHRIST.. we must study to show ourselves APPROVED.. God will equipt us to discern quickly if we are set apart and not eating at the tables of DEVILS.. I pray God GOD continue to give you wisdom, discernment and revelation to help your fellow man as you now how new insight in truth.. and you can help others quickly, at your job, market place, there are 100 settings to go after the lost and share our testimony! Bless you.
It is a personal relationship with the Saviour that we need it is true, "then we can do all things through christ which strengthen us"
I really love your video regarding narcissist. I really agree on everything you said. I am struggling with a Narcissist person who always put the blame on me puts me down and has no empathy at all. He is selfish self absorbed and arrogant. He is changing me into a bad person and he is very envious when he knows that I am doing well with my life he try to find something to use against me. I feel stronger listening to your video I learned so much from what you said. Thank you for sharing this video.
The title of this video captured my attention. I liked your presentation. It is a breathe of fresh air. I recently suspected my husband being a covert narcissist about two years ago after 33 years of being together. It has changed me so that now I feel like Now, I'm holding on to God for dear life. We definitely need more conversation like this in the Christian community. Going through this has made me feel isolated because I don't want to hear the "christian" platitudes. I felt like my faith was used to keep me in something that seems detrimental to my entire existence.
I know your comment is 1 year old but I still want to say I completely relate. Christian, narcissist husband, 33 years married and I only discovered two years ago that this horrible confusing personality/abuse had a name. I will pray for you M. ❤
@@fayray9544 Thanks for your comment and prayers
Narcissist is a reflection you get for a good reason. So is evil. Figure that.
I’m 17 and going through this with my narcissistic father. I see my younger siblings started to pick up on his behaviors and I’m worried.(I’m the oldest) I am trying every single day to better myself and start the healing process from everything!
Praying 🙏 for your strength and wisdom and walk with the LORD!
I was in the situation like you. I m glad you can see now. Prayers for you and your siblings 🙏
@@DaughterofYAH1111 ⁰pi po koi li Liu Liu>oppo 0!⁹@)0(0
God Bless You. Seek understanding and confirmation from God. He will show and tell you what to do. You are on the road to true healing and understanding, and with your knowledge and compassion you will help others. You are on the road less traveled.
Prayers for your family, especially your siblings. God gives us "free will". Your siblings maybe in "reactive abuse" mode. Only time will tell, but you are there to show them a different way to live their life. Blessings to you dear one. Stay in prayer and God will show you how to manage your situation.
I've become more aggressive because of her and her lack of empathy so it's made me more frustrated all the time .
Yes, I think God can change a Narcissist. As you have already stated, God is a Gentlemen, and as such will not force his will on us. He also knows that before a true repentance can take place, the Narcissist needs to meet him in a place of truth about themselves, who they are and the damage they cause, and if that is coupled with a sincere desire for change and a willingness to do the hard work necessary to accomplish the goal. Then YES, I definitely think that he can change a Narcissist. But I don't think that the Narcissist can accomplish the full goal solely in their own strength, and must rely on God to finish and seal the work.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. Both of my parents are Narcissists . I have heard from both of them honor your mother and father. I have ptsd from the abuse from them .i for give my parents . Narcissists, are pure evil and are from the Devil. NARACISTS are liars, treat people awful, threaten your life, call you names much more. I am a Christian myself. Yes , there is Christians in church who are Narcissists also. I was friends with a few of them i for gave them but no longer talk to them. It's shame that no pastors can help you out when you tell them what you are going through. I left those churches where the pastors only told me to pray or they told me i got to deal with it. I go to a new Christian church now the pastor is there for the people.