5 Clues to Spot a 'Christian' Narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
- Have you ever felt deceived by someone, realizing the person you thought they were isn't who they truly are? It can leave you feeling like you're losing your sanity. That's why in this video, I'll help you sharpen your discernment by teaching you 5 key clues to spot a 'Christian' narcissist. Don't let these wolves in sheep's clothing fool you any longer.
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those arent christians but of the devil . God Lord Yeshua said : you cant sit here near my taqble and eat from it when/if you sit near devils table and feast from it .
Thisi s So True!!@bride0fLORDYESHUA
@bride0fLORDYESHUA Hollow individuals TRUE!!! No conquence! Evil spirits!!! Scammers, cheats stealers thieves. Best of Liars!!! Phony Pretenders!!! Con- artist!!!
He was Lucifers brother!!!
I took the quiz & found out I'm a Recovering People Pleaser. I'd say that pretty accurate for me.
Rule number 1 when dealing with a narcissist is to NEVER call them out, it’s a waste of time and you will be berated and gaslighted for it. The Bible in Proverbs 9:7 puts it this way; “Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt.” (NLT). A ‘Christian’ narcissist is nothing more than a wicked person masking to be one of God’s people, it’s nothing but smoke and mirrors. Rather than have a sit down with them, put all your energy into your secret exit strategy and leave and don’t look back!
Speak truth/facts to them in the power of the Holy Spirit. No matter how they respond.
Very good comment! Thanks 😊!! The Bible even says:…from such turn away in 2. Timothy 3! No discussion, no mercy, to whatsoever, just turn away! The Bible has an answer by the Holy Spirit 2000 years ago, what psychology suggests today to do with narcissists
Bullseye 🎯!
@@davidrosen3736i have to read again. U cannot remember it all
That's exactly what I experienced I didn't call him directly a narcissist but I told him he was emotionally a psychologically abusive He twists the truth blame shifts manipulate through his behavior and emotions who's guilt and shame and And finally that I felt like he used me manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't for me to marry him because he was scared and wanted stability.
Oh well did I learn that that was not the way to go.
I was a narcissist. I had no Idea that I was. By God's grace he saved my soul, but its taken many years for me to realize by Gods mercy that I was a narcissist. It's been a horrific revelation. Yet God in his great love and gentleness has changed me over the years and continue to lead me out of this hallow, lonely shallow place and making me finally into a person who can care for others by his Holy Spirit and not need to have all focus on myself. May The Lord in his grace deliver all narcissists from such a cruel heart and very dark place in Jesus name amen.
well done seeing your old self and now it is time to heal on.
Were you married? what kinds of things did you do to your partner as a narcissist?
That’s a very comforting message. I just realized my daughter has become a full fledged narcissist after marrying one 19 years ago. I’ve been tortured by her for 18 years, she’s used the grandchildren as weapons, the oldest is 18, then 15, 6, and 1. My husband and I think they’ve spaced out the children to keep us hooked taking care of their housing, electricity, car, insurance, heating for 18 years, they are both very entitled. We can’t cut them off or it’ll put the grandchildren on the street. We’ve been praying together daily to release my daughter from the darkness of narcissism. You have shared a beautiful message of God’s grace, mercy, love, and redemption. This is the first positive message I’ve seen since realizing the awful dilemma we are facing. Praise God!!! I will continue to pray for her frequently and fervently. God bless you for sharing 🙏🙏🙏
if you thought that you are a narcissist, then you are NOT a narcissist because narcissist will NEVER reflect badly on themselves; they believe they are the most perfect/holy person on earth.
@@spaideman7850 Apparently you don't believe that God can change such a heart. Sad for you.
They have the nerve to call you manipulative and toxic if they dont like the way you react to the pain they cause you. They assume the worst about you and refuse to forgive you. They project their character flaws onto you.
Excellent comment
My ex APN. She's nuts
@@FamilyHistoriandude Boy is that a fact.
I ignored the red flags because I believed he was a man of God...I believed God had brought him into my life. I tried so hard to be an obedient wife...I prayed, I forgave, I wasn't allowed to get angry...I made minimal requests and did everything he wanted to do and anticipated his needs. He did not need to anything. He still blamed me for his lying and cheating.. He claimed it was for my protection.
I am divorced now...I did everything I could in trying to save my marriage including sacrificing myself. I almost succeeded in taking my own life.
I look forward to more of your content to learn why this man was allowed into my life. God allows everything....
God Bless You. Think this movie will encourage you for your future good days: "The Encounter" 5 people Encounter Jesus 4 set free to live abundantly. Be with the 4, 4Ever. :)
@@lorianttila9698 he was in your life because you chose him and said "yes" as I did. After I left my narcissistic ex, I had to figure out how I ended up with a man like that so I never make that choice again.
It has been a shock dealing with a non narcissistic individual she doesn’t rage out, doesn’t take an innocent comment as an attack, doesn’t lie to me, doesn’t make false accusations, doesn’t trash me to the outside world, doesn’t scoff at me, doesn’t diminish my accomplishments, doesn’t ignore me, doesn’t deny reality despite evidence to the contrary, doesn’t mock my children, doesn’t project what they have done onto me, doesn’t spoil special occasions, is pleasant to my relatives, doesn’t have me falsely arrested. It’s been a very pleasant shock!
That is honestly to great to hear! When lies of the enemy want to creep in remember you don’t deserve it and rebuke that! May your journey be so sweet with your spouse!
Me me me me me....interesting
Are you the same to her?
Now you can count your blessings! It's like coming back from the dead, isn't it?
@@boondocks8002yep, he's enjoying life again. He's listing His blessings
They’re hurting they’re hurting badly, and they’ve never felt love. We still need to pray for them and hope they have a true conversion of heart.
If you want to spot narcissist:
1. They are always right. 2. They are very defensive 3. They always blame others 4. They would never listen 5. They will ounish you. 6. They play mind games. 7. They lie.
Now narcissism is on spectrum so some have more narcissistic traits than others.
Punish
I'm a Christian and a licensed clinical therapist.... And that's not what the DSM says about the characteristics to diagnose someone with narcissistic personality disorder... Please be careful about naming all unbecoming traits of an individual characteristics as "narcissism"... While everything you named is unhealthy behavior, it doesn't make someone the clinical definition of a "narcissist".
@blessedandannointed
Thank you for your comment. Although I believe there are narcs, in general, I think we all have some bad behavioural issues where we need to surrender to the Lord becoming more Christ like.
@blessedandannointed Eye-opening..."unhealthy behaviors, "... thank you for that!
@@blessedandannointedMany of the people commenting seem to be able to label others “narcissists “ but amazingly nobody here could EVER have such characteristics!
Amen I found out that these wolves in sheep clothing religious narcissist love preaching the gospel as long as the gospel is not confronting and exposing anything about them .
Or they have a very superficial understanding of the gospel use other people's words and insights to make them sound like they're further along than they are. Hijack cliches the churches say pastor say, the chameleons
@@tracyannaleclair9320 absolutely!
Well said.
Tell me about it!
They despise altar calls.
Sadly many pastors are narcissistic now a days!!! It’s been hard finding true elders anymore 😢
Even more so are church goers, naturally as there is more of them, however I'm seeing this more and more!
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.
@@brotherjames1623 you are correct! The covert hides well in religion
Yes. I've found this to be true myself. But now that I'm dependent on God and know His genuine Love I know better.
Wondering if the former pastor of the mega church in Southlake Texas is this kind of person.
He initially threw out a large amount of DARVO when his escapades with a 12 y/o girl were finally made public in the past couple of weeks.
Come to think of it, possibly the elders who knew she was 12 are narcissist as well.
The last point rang true for my elderly mother, instability. "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." James 1:8
It is like watering a plastic plant. It does NOT work on them.
@@SigmaEmpataLevante fantastic analogy!
I love this analogy!!
Funny how she use water analogy. Did the rain water come from a leaky roof?. Proverbs 12:15 A constant dripping on a rainy and a contentious woman are alike. Restraining her is like holding back the wind or grasping oil with ones right hand. It takes two to tango. But women by nature (sinful nature) are narcissistic. They are vain, look into the mirror far more, worried about looks and outward appearances of themselves. Everything and I mean everything (clothing, makeup, hair color, jewelry) that is made "for a woman" costs a lot more and specifically targets the narcissistic tendencies of women. Women not only buy into it, they will pay double or triple. Make it pink, you will be charged double for it and you lose half the populations interest in the item (men). Logic and reason don't work on women, only emotion. Run away men from women like this.
"If you're the type to mistake arrogance for confidence or scripture reading for true biblical belief, you, too, could be swayed into believing that you are dealing with a secure person who is able to handle criticism" - So, so good, Kris! I'm truly grateful for you! 5:02
He kept changing the conversation to a Bible study instead of listening.
I'm so glad the videos are blessing you.
@@Kris_Reece
1) "Intimate Connection." Every time I write a devotional, he's not interested in discussing it. He simply glances at it, but is not interested in learning.
2) Criticism. My own personal narcissist expected me to drive him to the supermarket after church every Sunday. He didn't even use the self-service lane! It took him forever to get in and out of there. One time I didn't get home until 2:30 (church had ended at noon). I said, "When are you going to buy your own car?" He screamed at me, "I DON'T WANT A CAR!" He didn't care if I criticized him or not. (I have met other narcissists who did, in fact, take suggestions as a threat; or at least they would simply dismiss me as "uneducated.")
3) Pride. UGH! One time I had written an essay about the Holy Spirit. Another church member was eager to learn more and I wanted to expand on the lesson. She asked me a question. But my own personal narcissist butted in and answered it for me. He has a way of dominating conversations and crowding me out. He then wasted 15 minutes on useless small talk about a job he once had. Another time, I had written a novel (unpublished). The family loved it. He said, "I helped him write it." I was so angry! I said, "No, you didn't!" He screamed, "YES, I DID!" For several years afterward, he kept harassing me, demanding, "How much money did you make on that book?!" I finally said, "Nothing! I don't expect to get rich doing that!" (That finally shut him up.)
4) "Needs." There was a time when I worked 60 hours per week and had very little time for Bible study. After work, I would go to my room and shut the door, because I need quiet solitude in order to read and write. My own personal narcissist complained that I didn't watch TV with him.
5) Misuse of Scripture. I finally had enough of my own personal narcissist, so I kicked him out of my apartment. He insisted I owed him. He quoted Cain: "Am I my brother's keeper?" I told him he couldn't use that as a blank check to get anything he wanted from me.
Wow. You stood up for yourself!!!
I bet it felt great. And you probably thought. Why didn't I do it earlier.
Well done for you and keep writing. Even if it is only for your pleasure. ❤
@@davidlafleche1142 Jesus said, Let the dead bury their dead and follow Me.
I have never met anyone who is not only capable of intimacy or constructive criticism. This is why I stay to my self.
If you're a narcissist. You're not a Christian.
They don't forgive or really love. They believe in them not others, Believing in Christ changes the heart. Their hearts are dead.
Narcissists are the devils soldiers. They are never from the Lord.
Anybody with a mental disorder can become saved, but it doesn’t mean that their behaviour will change only God knows whether they’re saved or not
It’s all religions. People hide behind it.
Thats not true.
Literally JUST broke off our engagement. I think for me the absolute worst part of being with a Christian Narcissist is how they use Gods word to manipulate you in to suppressing our desire to leave the toxic relationship and second would be the gaslighting.
How were you able to finally figure out that she was a narcissist? And how did you break off the engagement?
Congratulations!
I'm glad you broke your engagement because you saved yourself from years of abuse. On my wedding I knew I was making a mistake. I didn't have the courage to speak up. That night my narcissist ex husband refused to have sex. I thought we were both virgins. I found out later he gave me an std. I remained a virgin for 16 months. Our sexless marriage was for 19.5 years. It ended when he had an affair. Again, I'm glad you have the courage to do what you did. Ironically we met and were married in a Baptist church.
@@ruthgunneson-poling1571 After my divorce my best friend warned me, "Stay away from any guy you meet in.church--there are some really sick people in church!"
He who marries the VIRGIN does well. He who does not marry, does better..... Apostles, In that case it is better for a man not to marry. (Jesus) For those who can accept this, should accept this.
At the start of this video, I knew where she was going with the analogy. The problem is for those of us who were raised by narcissists. We ONLY know the fake because that's all we grew up with. We then become the scapegoats for narcissists because we tell the lies they tell.....and get caught. When you're young, you know something is "off" in your gut, but ....what....nevermind that they're a "Christian" and would NEVER do that. You're just a bad kid who is CLEARLY wrong.....
I could go on and on but this is the reality of GEN X'ers who had to deal with narcissists. The struggle was real
WELL SAID !! 👌
Thank you so much for helping me understand my ex-husband and everything he did and why. It was so confusing when I was married to him. He was an elder in the church but behind closed doors he was a monster. I went to counseling by myself for years to try to fix what was wrong with me because he made me believe everything was my fault. Listening to videos like yours and reading about npd helps me so much. It's painful but at the same time helpful (if that makes sense.) He ordered a mail-order bride from China soon after the divorce and my heart breaks for her. Kris, God is using you mightily to help people like me. Thank you so much and God bless you!
Thank you for sharing. I'm blessed to hear that the videos have been helpful for you. :)
Street Angel… Home Devil
This Lady here , Dr. Carter " Free to be Me" series ( TH-cam) and Dr. Ramani Top Foremost Expert on all things Toxic and Narcissistic Literally Saved my sanity when I was Frazzled, and confused, pulling my hair out over a Covert manipulator's Toxic Word Salad , a Lady that came across as perfectly Delightful , said all the Right things, appeared to Do all the Right things for about 11 months until WHAM, her mask fell off !
Wow our marriage experiences parallel each other. All those decades destroyed me. Mine was before psychotherapy was a thing. 🙏🙏
@@MJ-my9sg I'm so sorry you suffered at the hands of your abuser! It's terrible that there are so many of us.
"Your needs are a nuisance". Great line, and so true.
I feel like this happens a lot especially in men’s/women’s Bible study groups, too. When you have a concern and you’re brushed off as being “angry”. It’s frustrating.
I’ve noticed in business dealings that anytime someone you just met finds a way to tell you they are Christian, they aren’t. They are just hoping that you drop your guard, and they are about to try and swindle you.
Yep , in every way
"I have finally seen the light" so to speak. It took me 65 years to finally let them go. Now, since I choose not to engage even when the nice side comes out. I have be DONE DONE DONE! It's not easy, but necessary for survival.
@@MoMo-mi4lm So blessed to read your comment My mother, too, is about to say goodbye to my father, after 65 years. All of my life, I've understood that she has never received the love, commitment and respect that Dad committed to provide her, when they took their vows. In every way, he has failed the honor and uphold the covenant that he swore to honor & uphold. Even my grandmother called to her attention, that their vows were not equal or balanced. SHE promised to treat HIM with love, respect and compassion, until the ends of their lives, yet HE did NOT promise her the same. She now says she regrets not paying heed to her mother's advice. I've been trying to convince her to open her eyes for many years. I wish it had happened many years ago, but better late, than never!
I only feel safe when I'm completely alone.
I get that!!👍👍
But unless God specifically said for you to be alone, you shouldn’t be alone. what you need to do is go to God and ask him for your family. Psalm 68:6 God takes the lonely and He sets them in a family. 💖 It worked for me.
@@amagickalmeliss Amen ! God bless your family 💟
She knows what her boundaries are.
Me too friend 😬🥴
Everything you share about yourself on a deep level will be remembered to the point of memorization by the narcissists and filed in their brains under "future ammunition".
Connecting with them is Like trying to water a plastic plant - well said my fren!❤🎉
My mom has to tell her story of going to heaven at every family get-together. I've heard that story a thousand times. Her narcissism is a family tradition.
I lived this every day with my mother. No, she never told this story, but was the biggest hypocrite walking! She was extremely legalistic and hypocritical and didn't think it was a problem, it was awful. I was her target all my life with her. She's dead and gone and I never she'd a tear at her passing
You blame religion but youre just the same as your mom. You need to repent and know that Jesus Christ is not a religion but a relationship. Pick up your cross daily and read the word because youre prideful and lack love@angelagrant9163
Maybe her heaven story is to motivative you and her family or would you rather her talk about hell? And gnashing of teeth?
@@EmpressofChrist It's bragging, trying to prove her specialness with God to others. The extreme low self esteem of narcissists compels them to build up their false self with the veneer of perfection. Classic grandiose Narcissism.
It is a hard lesson to learn that loving and serving others does not necessarily mean pleasing them
For sure love without truth becomes mere sentimentality. We need to love our friends more than our friendships and warn them if they act as if they are on the broad road to hell. You shall know them by their fruits.
I wish i would have known these things in my 20's. It very literally took me a lifetime to figure this stuff out. And i still cannot put it into words.
You do it so well 👍.
It was not allowed to talk about narcissism on the media of years & decades ago!!
I am definitely burnt out from being that nice Guy, and praising a woman that I fell for, thinking she deserved it.
I did something similar. I made the mistake of being attracted to a woman who I assumed was God fearing based on her Facebook posts. And I thought since we appeared to have a lot in common we should try being more than friends. But as I got to know her, I was told lies and manipulated. I have questioned if she's a covert narcissist, but I feel I could be wrong, based on other traits. After being burned by others, I don't trust any Christian woman now who posts mostly Christian related posts and very little else of her life.
I reflect and heal my own neediness and surrender it and any loneliness to God . Otherwise we are victims waiting to happen!!
I used to work at a military hospital and there was a girl that worked there with me that was almost exactly as you describe. If you ever run across a person that goes out of their way to show everyone she's a Christian, run away as fast as you can. A person that's REALLY good doesn't need to do that.
Only your demons triggers you that she's Christian .
I had the same experience where I kept adding nice things I did for her and it was never enough, she always demanded more. If I didn't bow to her every whim, OR if I voiced a concern, then I was an "abuser" and "not a good Christian husband." But, when she voiced a concern, I would take all the blame and apologize. Only to be told my apologies were "fake" and that I "didn't care." She actually said to me at one point, "I have nothing to apologize for, I don't do anything wrong, I don't know why you're so upset." There's a reason she's an ex-wife even though she constantly used scripture to manipulate me to stay with her. 🙄
I just got out of something like that…begrudgingly if I’m being honest. Taking the blame is rough is t it? I still feel that way. And, more honesty, if she tried to come back I’d let her in. It’s hard to make myself get angry about all the games cause, plot twist, we work together too.
It’s hard to stand up for yourself too. That alone makes me feel weak. It’s bad enough I strive for someone to come into my life that’s good and genuine that I’m blind to the concerns I have with those I let in.
Stay up. We will be alright.
I understand more than you know. My SIL is exactly that way.
@@shaungreenlee724 no. Do not let that snake back into your life. Understand, they will not ever get better. They will only get worse. Block, delete, remove. Give your life a ‘courtesy flush’ if you get my drift.
And be very wary of anyone you choose to let in. The world is full of ultra toxic individuals in 2024.
@@shaungreenlee724 PLEASE don’t EVER let her back in. It will be worse than before! There is a reason why Narc abuse counselors say it’s imperative to go NO CONTACT!
@@kristafloral Thank you. Gladly she closed the door but she does reach out occasionally and it’s hard to not reply. I just replied to something five minutes ago. I just wish I didn’t have this desire to be loved. I fall for anything. I even feel horrible thinking she could be a narcissist.
Watering a plastic plant. Holy accurate analogy Batman! 😯
A narcissist is not a christian.
It is a demon and not the Holy Spirit.
Not any doubt.
yea, start rebuking those demons, that stirs them up.
Yes, and today that demon is quite busy and prolific.
Exactly, my former friend turned out to be a real religious spirit, not a trace of the Holy Spirit in her after her mother turned her into her clone. Whatever Godliness she once had about her is no longer there. So many religious spirits think being a pharisee makes them filled with the Holy Spirit.
@@FamilyHistoriandude It needs this dicernment to get that revelation. And if H
God trusts us with that knowledge that comes out of a pure heart we can be assured we know a lot about how satan works.
@@FamilyHistoriandude Spot on. Many have the word of the Lord without the Lord of the word. Rough paraphrase from the great Christian film "Time Changer". Free on TH-cam. Movie Night. ;)
When you're dealing with Narcissistic co-workers, same rules apply. We are to pray for those who persecute us.....and let HIM take vengeance....because it's HIS anyway. Give it and them to God and go to sleep
@@tammybagwell1741 Thank you. I've been dealing with this for years and I'm slowly trying to detach myself away from him. Part of me feels angry, hurt, sad because I invested so much time, energy, and money just to be treated like crap. I just got to the point where I was tired of being disrespected and demeaned and thankfully my coworkers have been supportive in telling me to leave him alone and I deserve someone who will treat me with respect. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
He kept redirecting the conversations back to the Word that wasn't even the subject and learning more about the Bible. Never addressing my personal needs. I finally saw it.
same here. always getting scolded for not having read enough to give in to her view on things... i feel so stupid today...
I can totally relate, my ex would throw me bible verses that are really out of context when we're discussing things. Sigh thanked God tho, I'm free
@@simonschneider5913 don't feel stupid. You are being given a gift of the rest of your life in freedom and able to be peaceful after some healing
@@jackyloudoble808 We are and we can't allow ourselves to forget how that felt. It's very confusing and disturbing to use the Word in that way.
The word is the word of God ,duh
Kris this sounds just like my old marriage. Thank you for your dedication to God.
Bless you mightily Kris! All you say is spot on and from God and the Word!
I have suffered much too like others here on this platform. Praise God for people like yourself, that bring light and truth. Courage and strength, hope and wisdom. I prayed and fasted and God taught me to never again expect anything good from anyone again! I do have faithful friends that love me for who I am praise God, but I’m talking about the narcissists, not to expect any good thing from them!
I was a co dependent. My husband being a Christian narcissist whose favourite scripture to quote me was a wife is to learn from her husband at home etc etc and be submissive. I thought he
Had an obligation from God to treat me the way the bible says.. well that’s a complete joke to narcissists. It’s there way or the High way ofcourse.
So recently God told me, do not ask or expect anything from him ever again, you’re wasting your time. Well it’s Been decades! God said, only rely on Me to love you, admire you, respect and honour you, support you, provide for you. I’m your vengeance. He has filled me with His peace from head to toe! God has healed all my wounds. He has even had my enemies devour each other! Read 2 chronicles 20.. wow!!😄🙏🏻
Which I had no idea He would do for me, I feel so loved and adored by Jesus!
So I have found my answers spiritually on how to overcome the narcissist!
I’m set free. I will stay set free. I now do not care what people say about me or behind my back. I do not expect anything good from anyone anymore. Only my Heavenly Father whom truly loves me! My real husband is Jesus! I am one of the wise virgins that is filled with the Spirit of God! I will be there at the wedding to marry my Groom!
🙏🏻🥰💪😇
may others suffering be encouraged and finally set free 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I hate this subject. My wife labelled me as a narc. Any time I wasnt in agreement with her then I suddenly got put in this category. Now after years of her listening to advice like this video I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to leave her but she was driving me crazy. It's a dangerous thing in my opinion to mix modern non biblical theories with scripture. Be careful people. Be humble. Just because this information is becoming popular doesn't make it right. Exegesis is how a student studies the word and not interpreting the meaning of scripture through popular modern psychology. God help us all. We should handle God's word with fear and reverence and not use it against our spouses to destroy them. Be careful not to jump on the bandwagon of armchair diagnosis. Maybe you are the problem.
There are so many things not spelled out in the Bible. Yet we must use wisdom to deal with these matters in life. You will not see a mental health diagnosis such as schizophrenia in the bible , so should we discount what mental health experts say about it ? While the word narcissist isn’t in the Bible , the fruit of this type of person is seen throughout different people in the Bible . How does God deal with these kind of people ?
@@strivin4excellence09
To put it another way, there are some pervasive ageless sociological/relational phenomena, CLEARLY "spelled out" in the Bible... Only when modern psychology merely coins a new TERM to describe a VERY OLD CONCEPT, some people evasively pretend that psychology and the Bible are thus incompatible.
It's a dodge. It's an attempt to avoid the scrutiny of these very topics which are so obviously central to the human experience, that both the Bible AND psychology plainly agree on the nature of the problem (even if mere psychological diagnosis is inadequate for an ultimate Cure).
What a modern psychologist calls a "Narcissist", is nothing more, and nothing less, than the Biblical phrase of "Wolves in Sheep's Clothing" (aka. "Brood of Vipers" in another instance). Different terminology, but SAME. EXACT. ISSUE.
Anyone persisting with the claim that Psychology and the Bible are at odds on this point, is only doing so to try to pretend Piety. As a cover. To evade the responsibility of HONESTLY "looking in the mirror".
I'm not here diagnosing anyone as a Narcissist. But there does come a point after repeatedly butting heads with some people on this allegedly problematic issue of "Un-Biblical Diagnosis", where I'm forced to inwardly conclude, "Methinks they doth protest too much".
[John 3:39~] "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; ~ and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life. ~ I do not receive glory from men; ~ but I know you, that you do not have the love of God in yourselves."
When someone protests always about the field of Psychology being invalid because it's outside the Bible, and "There's no such thing as authoritative answers on ANY topic, to be found anywhere else but the Bible..." that's the Bible passage that always springs to my mind.
We're not trying to "avoid Scripture". We're certainly not trying to Reinterpret Scripture. What we ARE trying to Interpret, is a PERSONALITY. A KIND of personality, WARNED about in Scripture. AND warned about in Psychology. A kind of personality who pretends Humility, even PREACHES "Humility", but remains, regrettably, impervious to constructive personal criticism. Even when they've received the same specific feedback repeatedly from multiple different observers in various different contexts. Whether that applies to one person or the other (Or maybe both! That certainly happens too!) in any given relationship, is not for me to say, unless I've observed the dynamic in question up close and personal.
All I'm saying, is I've certainly got bitter personal experience of being directly mentally destroyed by a "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" from very close range, over a very long time. So I do tend to quickly recognize certain symptoms. One of the classic indicators is an empty form of Religiosity.
"...Holding to a form of Godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these." [2nd Timothy 3:5]
"He who has ears, let him hear".
Maybe your wife was the narcissist, not you?
I am so sorry this happened to you. Please understand this is not a make believe mental/spiritual condition. This is a horribly abusive type of person who easily hides in places we don't expect--like churches. The evil comes out only at their targets, is horrible.
You probably recognize the validity of other mental illnesses, this is one that destroys others. That's why we need to understand what it looks like. Again, I'm sorry if you have been falsely called a narcissist.
These videos almost have a stasi quality to them. It’s one thing for a professional to diagnose someone but this is something else. For some reason it makes the hair at the back of my neck stand up.
This also describes law enforcement. With a few notable exceptions, their motto is "rules for thee but not for me."
The TWO WORST BRANDS of "Narcissism," in my opinion, is "Spiritual/Christian Narcissism" & "Malignant Narcissism (NPD & ASPD Put Together)!"
@@musicalgal1992 right.
Absolutely. People put so much trust in them. Like myself. Go in broken and walk out shattered.
Thank you for all your online literature and wealth of information on ‘narcissistic’ people. Sadly, I was married to one … but the best advice I could personally offer is when you allow God to move you through the healing to a place where you prefer not to use or refer (even in your mind) to him (or her) as a ‘narcissist’, which I feel is all too often today’s overused buzz word. After God softened my heart and got me to a place of truer inner healing He helped me to gain my own sense of power back in refusing to use this word to the point of asking my counsellor if she would kindly not use it. We know the Living Word tells us there is power in our words and speaking into them only gives that person the power over your mind, instead of allowing God to do His work in eventually healing you. Once I personally accepted this, I felt a sense of release to my past and softening of my heart to my future in being able to more fully centre my attention onto His calling for my new life. I pray that others will come to this place in seeing and appreciating the beauty He gives for our offered ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Blessings and love to all.
Yes I agree the word is way overused nowadays.... I believe you were with a so called narcissist, I'm not speaking about your personal experience. But in general I believe many people can have narcissistic traits to some extent, especially people with trauma and who were emotionally neglected when they were young. It's a coping mechanism for them to survive. I've seen people get better when they start dealing with their underlying trauma. I think when we call everyone who seems to be self centered and defensive or manipulative a narcissist, we create more problems because we won't see any possibility for growth or healing for these people. And we also might be unaware we ourselves can be self centered at times too. Or even become similar because of our hurt. I believe that the people that I've been in very toxic relationships with were ultimately unhealed traumatised people, but they were definitely children of God and often unaware of their behaviour. They weren't true narcissist but more dismissive avoidants or anxiously attached. Also addiction can make someone very manipulative. The amount of information I see on dealing with narcissists compared to other types of toxic or traumatised people is very odd to me. I think people would be better helped in their personal situations when they learn how to deal with certain types of toxic behaviours. Because with many people there are certainly ways that you can deal with it and set boundaries. There's also cases where whatever one does, it doesn't help and one has to leave the relationship. But I also see a lot of people break contact with others when they themselves are the ones who can't deal with their emotions and trauma.
@@Lily_and_River … well said. Although I never deserved to be treated in such a way; hurt people hurt people. And although a hard lesson learnt, there was one to be in God taking me through this unchartered emotional territory. We all live in/with sin … not one of us is spared by the enemy. After going through the grief, trust in Him and lean not on our own ways but His wisdom. I can’t say I allowed this before marrying a man with an, unknown at the time, littered past of his own past sexual trauma and abuse. I am not excusing him, God just helped deliver me to a place of understanding and accepting this in healing my broken heart and moving me into my future. Complete forgiveness is an ongoing process; but one I trust my faith will lead me to. So long as He forgives my sins and inadequacies, I know I have to forgive others … even if eventually. Thank you for sharing your insightful words and for your goodness in helping others. ❤
@@deechristensen8188 Thank you for your comments aswell. I'm going through something similar although I still hold hope for my husband. At the beginning of this year I had to seperate from him and go no contact for my own safety and sanity. I've experienced God closer and more intimate than ever before the past years, even when I was still living with him and was really scared aswell. I'm also thankful for the healing process and everything He is showing and learning me. It's hard, painful, necessary, healing and freeing all at the same time. In a way He answered my prayers by getting me out of a very toxic marriage and continuing with the plans He has for me. So I relate to much of what you say here. Back when I married my husband I was a child of God but I didn't let Him truly lead me the way I do the past years. I even think I wouldn't have married him back then when I would've been the person I am now. But I still pray and believe God can make our marriage new again. When He doesn't, I will be alright. I would worry about my husband's well being though. Even though I've given him over in the hands of God, I cannot imagine right now to let go of everything yet. I cannot let go of the promises God has given me, also about him. I like what you said about forgiveness. I'm not ready to forgive yet, because of the things that are still going on at this moment... I'm not at a point where I can leave it behind me yet. But I definitely know I will one day.
@@deechristensen8188 oh and yes the 'hurt people hurt people' phrase has helped me a lot too! Even though we made mistakes ourselves, it doesn't excuse their behaviour. It's been crazy to work through the amount of manipulation and gaslighting and allowing God to show the truth about myself and my marriage. No one deserves to be treated this way by ones husband. A husband should protect and love his wife like Christ protects and loves the church. When there's emotional safety a wife can submit herself to her husband from a place of love. We definitely need Jesus to meet such a standard, we can't do it on our own.
@@deechristensen8188 I'm not sure if you saw my replies... I think TH-cam might have removed them 🙄
Clue #1 for me was what I called “pretty prayers”; empty and shallow. No authentic relationship with Jesus.
My dad is a Christian narcissist. I only discovered this last year. Explains sooooo much
he cannot be both, he is either a christian or a narcissist, he is therefore a pretend christian...
Churches are filled with narcs!
If you come out and complain about your father in public, you think that is the Christian thing to do? Honor your father and mother. Men avoid this person at all cost. Anyone who does not have a good relationship with their father will only be a leaking roof nagging wife, it is a major red flag. Run away,
@@r1chm you could've stopped at honour your mother and father. I can accept constructive criticism. But the last part was hurtful...
@@bunnyboonot4u If you cannot love your brother sister .. father, who you can see, how can you love your heavenly Father, you cannot see. You are nagging your dad in public behind his back, and you are going to tell me you are not that way with your husband? My father was a alcoholic. We did not get along, My mother prayed for him all the time and although there were times when she wanted to give up and divorce him she honored her word to the Lord. He became a Christian, he was baptized with the Holy Spirit which I would have never thought would have happened and I can say I am more proud of him than anything. We get along great. Women like this one is a deceiver and causes division among Christians worse husbands and wives. God hates those who cause division among the brotherhood of the believers. Prov6 18-19 The last part is only painful if it is true.
Yep exactly what I was going through....and couldn't take it anymore!! I was told I'm being a disobedient wife and being disobedient to God, was told by my husband....you have to obey your husband!! I did everything i was suppose to do as a wife and more and still was told I'm being disobedient 🙄 he never trusted me and i never gave him a reason not to, he was extremely jealous, constantly put blame on me, made me feel like i was the crazy one and yet again still wants me in his life?? Im like are you seriously okay?? No matter how hard you try to figure them out or try to help them its just going to drive you insane!! I walked away...I could not deal with the stress anymore. 😟😞🤦♀️🙄
How did you get divorced? How did you tell him and how did you get him to agree?
I have so much anxiety because of his reaction when he gets pissed off he will be passively aggressive and be childish but I just can't bear to get any emotionally exhausting texts or to be with him in person We have been separated since September.
Currently trying to write a short email to tell him I want to sign divorce papers
@@tracyannaleclair9320 I think you are supposed to get yourself ready first before leaving or giving divorce papers. You have to be physically safe. It can't be like you are asking them. They will not agree. Your safety as you (and if applicable, your children) exit is paramount.
@@ajeff6480 I told him I wanted to separate and I've been separated since September.
We don't live together I got that part straight.
She is very passive aggressive spiteful vengeful and he knows if it's his words that cause me the most upset.
His dog died a month ago and our pets are like our children because I don't have any and his don't have anything to do with him.
My heart broke for him I showed our love support and empathy forum and he just assumed that things are going to go back as if nothing happened.
Fast forward I just need to end this because as long as I'm still married to him I'm going to be playing these mind games with myself and rehashing everything, it's not healthy.
It'll go bad either way whether I do it in person or via email, the benefit to not doing it in person is I can avoid any sort of emotional manipulation.
If I have the money I'd have a lawyer take care of all of it for me but I have to keep him calm and not get him too angry because if I do he'll purposely not sign the papers and make life miserable
@@ajeff6480 This is my punishment/consequence of marrying him despite my second thoughts and doubts.
I thought that since we were both believers and have the holy Spirit, while we would struggle we would persevere.
But this isn't dealing with a regular person there is no having a relationship with them.
I told him I felt like he used me and manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't so that I would marry him because he was scared and insecure since he was filing bankruptcy and losing everything his retirement from a failed business his house, everything.
Excuse me for his own purpose.
I just want this to be over already
@@ajeff6480painful it's like being hoodwinked into marriage...I pray for ur freedom n peaceful life....
Christian and Narcissist don’t go together!
Joy = "J"esus, "O"thers, then lastly "Y"ourself. So is the Christian life. Love gives lust takes. God Bless.
They do. One said to me that God will forgive them if they ask for forgiveness for the horrible things they say and do. I told them forgiveness doesn't work like that if you are constantly repeating the bad things they do and say.
@JL-es3gc exactly. I think those people are the "pigs" proverbs is referring to in the observation "...& a pig is washed only to go back to wallowing in the mud". washing a pig is a big job! & useless, because a pig's nature (being unable to sweat) requires it to go in the mud to cool off. so in the Bible, pigs represent people who are unclean inside & unable or unwilling (does it matter?) to be permanently cleansed & take on a new life. I agree --- sadly --- they're not seeking to be transformed, merely made acceptable. sad.
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.
Thank you for the video 💜I had to laugh out loud when you said that they say "God will bless me, not you". I litterally had a narcissistic woman in my church tell me: "God showed me that something's about to happen to me and you will be disappointed. Let's just keep it between us" A few years later she accused me of being a witch and I'm not the first one she has done that to 😳 You best believe I stay faaaar away from her
What in the world?! She’s crazy.
Thank you, these are all things I have seen in family members. I live in a culture in which arguing and fighting is normal and expected. I stay away from them as much as possible. We cannot reach those who are in rebellion against God.
This is a great description of my ex husband of 29 years! He was also a pastor, no surprise. He is still this way. Only one of our 9 children will see him, and he claims to not understand why. Instead of looking at himself, he sends them letters with scripture.
This is literally the best video on narcs I've ever seen. Thank you!. I'm saving this to watch when i need reminders to stay away❤
Im in a friendships that I am finding difficult. This person called me her best friend very early in the relationship. Now that the relationship causes me a lot of anxiety and questioning, I feel like being called a best friend was and is being used as a tool to manipulate me.
Mine had me walking on egg shells in my own house. I never knew people like Christian coverts existed, I must of been very fortunate in life I never had to deal with a demonic person before. My love from 46 years ago came back into my life in Aug of 22 I had to ask her to leave my house, I felt bad but she was killing me literally.
Sounds like they are "love bombing" you. It is a tool used to control/manipulate others.
That sounds really bad. I hope you find the power to escape from this person.
I think I encountered a Christian narcissist when I decided to get some lay counseling at my church. It gave me a bad familiar feeling. However I gave chance after chance after chance for the situation to prove me wrong.
I'm glad your eyes were opened
What was the bad feeling like?
Thank You for this information. I have "had" a girlfriend, been with her for 11 1/2 years and she fits every point you spoke of. As I said, "had", enough is enough. Time to move on and remember the little good time we had together and try to forget the amount of bad times. Every time i leave her for the day I feel less of a person than when I started the day with her.
Glad I watched your video, now I know!
I'm perplexed , by the bibles declaration , that we would be exposed to NARCISSISTS , LOVERS OF THEMSELVES . AND YET , THIS PHENOMENA IS IN OUR CHURCHES AND FAMILIES AND YET THERE IS NO PROGRAM OR ALERTNESS , OR HONESTY , IN HOW A CONGREGATION CAN DEAL WITH THIS.
I know that nice gal , you describe , and yes , he's burning out . GOD HELP HIM , ❤
Yes!!!! Exactly 💯 I told the truth about a wolf in sheep's clothing in my very first church and they didn't believe me!!! She was demon possessed and running rings around them while abusing me and the demons would only manifest with me but they thought I was crazy unfortunately and believed her, she was laughing at them. She died and I don't know if she was saved in the end but if not, they enabled a soul to go to hell. No one I think will believe me in the church either now about my husband who has tried to push me into suicide. It's been a horrendous 14 years of serious covert abuse. The church haven't got a clue the level of this. I think the Lord might be bringing me into a ministry of exposing wolves - I told him six years ago no way, I'm not the person for the job lol but I think I am. I can see them. When I got saved, demons manifested in children where I was teaching, all over the place. But my husband has been the most difficult. Because they're so hidden. It's sneaky and slow, drip, drip, drip.... devastating. Only by God's Grace and mercy for me as a blood bought daughter of the King am I alive to tell the tale. I'm leaving him finally in about two weeks. I was shown the truth and of course, it has set me free. Amen ❤️🙏
I'll go a step further, "preachers" preach to love yourself first.
Most churches are not equipped to deal with this. The pastors and elders who have never dealt with narcissism before have no clue on how to spot this. When I brought the issues I was going through in my marriage to an elder during counseling. He told me that I should just “love” my wife more in spite of the emotional abuse, rage and other manipulation tactics and devious things she was doing behind my back.
@@imperfectillustration6261 I hear ya. "They are not our friends but rather our worst enemies who sooth people in their sins." Sin and Repentance ignored and we see the results "feel good" deluded secular humanists with Bible verses mixed in. God Bless your future. 🙏
The hardest part is HOW the narcissists criticize. Normal criticism is “constructive”, but for them it “destructive”. Then when we call them out they gaslight us with “see you can’t take criticism” or “stop over-thinking this”. This just happened to me yesterday and as I was replying through message I could see my hands shaking. It felt like a form of ptsd kicking in after smelling all too well the difference with constructive and destructive criticism 😶
Constructive criticism & tough love, 2 things narcissists rub in your face all the time!!
Thank you for your teachings wish I knew about them before divorce. Would've answered so many questions and not prolonged abuse from covert narcissist. God bless you keep up the great work.
I was involved with a Christian narcissist for 2 years; he was a member of the clergy - pious and generous on the outside but emotionally abusive and stingy (with money, time, empathy, etc) with me behind closed doors. It was truly hellish. He was a brilliant actor, would use scripture against me (or try) and blame me for the sexual relationship we had but which he later cut off telling me he felt “unclean” with me. I was so devalued on a regular basis I could not think and barely function. He was so hot and cold, with me - one day acting like I was invisible and the next day apologising and acting sweetly. When I wanted to leave he would talk me into staying but then start his abuse cycle almost immediately all over again. I literally felt like I was going to faint from exhaustion and sorrow.
I’m so sorry you went through that. These people are seriously sick. I hope you find healing and strong boundaries.
We're u married?
@@dorismahoney1440 no
@@RhymeandRamblings thank you
You poor dear! Thank God you’re out of that and educated 🙏❤️
Not to long ago I started putting some physical and emotional distance between a malignant, religious, narcissist and myself. The narcissist started texting to ask for help. I repeatedly refused providing the help. The narcissist texted that I was not a Godly person and I would always be alone. I texted back telling about a time in my young life when I put a gun to my head and tried mustering the nerve to pull the trigger. At that moment Christ spoke to me saying, "you are not alone.You were never alone. I was always with you." I asked this religious narcissist who should I believe, you or Christ?
Amen. And Love gives Lust takes.
I’m just so weary after almost 28 years of dealing with this. I’m so tired of the Bible being thrown in my face 😢
Why stay?
@@karenmartin4221 Agree. Get out as soon as possible. It will never make sense because they will just keep changing the "rules" and you'll never please them. Ever.
@@karenmartin4221 I’ve always stayed for my children. Once they are all graduated, then I’m thinking I will leave. Unless a miracle happens, but I’ve been asking for one for 28 years now.
Scripture shouldn’t be used to bludgeon people
Love gives lust takes.
Following up on previous conversations. That is very insightful indeed. I couldn't put a finger on it until you said it. I would share something personal and difficult with her and she never checked in with me on these topics again. Major red flag. Thanks for validating that behaviour for us. 😊
😄 *My Family called me a Narcissist, I said "No I'm Better Than That!*
I just found this channel and I'm so thankful. I subscribed without hesitation. God bless you and keep you.
Give me strength Lord Jesus. I’m struggling providing for my children. I will keep faith. I have two beautiful boys both have special needs. I’m overwhelmed because they require so much from me. I’m fearful because every month is a struggle to not end up on the streets with my boys. Lord restore my faith. I’m so tired Lord Jesus of constantly struggling to pay bills and struggling to buy groceries. Ashamed because I’m failing as a mother. Please Lord continue to give me strength.💕
❤❤
God doesnt give more than you can handle. Be encouraged. I hope wherever you are you get the assistance you need to lighten your burden. The Lord strengthen you and keep you. The Lord cause his face to shine upon you and grant you His peace. Father hear the cry of your child.
Here’s a Total FAKE
Plant 🌱, this Subscriber post the exact same comment on many other Christian channels.
It’s called Baiting
The content is so accurate in what the characteristics of a narcissist is, Kris, thank you. I'd like to take it a step further for your followers... WHY are narcissist the way they are? They were created to be as they are, because of much 'neglect' and 'abuse' in their own upbringing. Also, in Ephesians 6:12, it states that we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the 'spirits' that operate in or over a person. While I'm not saying that we're to subject ourselves to these toxic dynamics willingly, what I am saying is, "How would Jesus have us pray for those who are plagued by this mental disorder?" Instead of making them out to be these horrific individuals, I believe that God would have us look with wisdom and having healthy boundaries in our encounters with them and not harden our hearts, but pray for them to be delivered from themselves. I always go back to, "What would Jesus do?" Food for thought...
Excellent comment
Indeed! Amen 🙏🏽
I've been studying narcissism for about a year to recover from divorce and abusive father and brother, so when I met a nice pretty apartment neighbor, I caught her narcissism in 14 minutes. So I've been practicing on her to set my boundaries etc. She knows how to do the right things for show so makes an okay 1x a week for 2 hour friend (or less) but now that she knows I'm not an easy supply, we're both backing away but it's been good practice for me to learn to set boundaries, I'm much better at being firm about that now...lol.
Thanks for letting me know what you i've been going through for 18 years of being manipulated by a monster!Thank God im free...
Thank you Minister Reese God bless you ♥️🙏🏾😇
Minister?? That title can only go to a man...she can have a ministry tho. Biblical truth...God's peace
Wow, Wow, Wow! You are remarkable good! You have left me speechless. What you have said in 14 minutes, has taken me years to gather, and research to learn about this horribly destructive personality flaw. Hundreds of videos, articles, etc., and you summed it up, hitting every key area in a few minutes. I hope that everyone has the luck of seeing this video. You are Golden. Bravo to you, and thank you, so very much!
It's the instability for me. A different person on any given day. That isn't normal. What a perfectly timed message having recently met a "Christian" Narcissist. All the signs are there. Thank you for taking the time to educate bless others. ❤️ 🙏
I have ever dealt with a narsist all this is true, I have learned more
Sounds like my father he's a wolf in sheeps clothing he also acts like he's holier than thou but he's not even christian he just uses religion to manipulate and to push his hypocrisy onto me. He's not very honest either he loves gaslighting and playing mind games.Defiently agree with you on that I can't be with someone who constantly manipulate and want to say one thing and mean another.
😔
Super accurate 💯 ive seen most of these clues,not a nice experience to be involved with such people but ive learned to be cautious and more aware,thanks for reminding me on this important stuff🙏🏻Amen
She just described my nex's behavior through and through lol im chuckling cause he ticks all the boxes! Every single point mentioned! I pray to God that people who has never been in a close relationship with a narc before will watch this video and never have to learn from experience🙏 because the trauma takes too long to recover from
Yes #2 definitely my mother in law, except for the confidence part. Also #4 & 5. She uses scripture and God to shame, blame and excuse bad behavior. With her you aren't allowed to have an independent thought or make decisions for your own life. She uses the family is everything and comes first card.
You’re absolutely right they love to dish it out but they can’t take it. I took it for 50 years. I think I had enough. Sometimes I feel that I have picked up some of the traits only to show them what it’s like to be miss treated the way they have miss treated me. I’m talking about my husband, his sister is his mother and even my kids being around them and not my family also. Hurt me a lot and they didn’t seem to care it didn’t bother them didn’t bother them at all. It was like you’re imagining it. It’s all in your head, it wasn’t in my head name is treating me. They disrespected me they look down at me. They criticize me and I took it and I used to let it Blow over my head like it didn’t bother me, but then the more they did it the more it started to bother me and one day I just told my mother-in-law off she didn’t like that she was like so highly insulted because she was so arrogant, and she didn’t talk to me the rest, the whole life no loss on my part believe me it was a blessing as far as I was concerned But my husband, he always mistreated me. He always called me names. He called me an idiot he would always talk down to me and then I’d say stop calling me names and he would say oh I don’t mean nothing by it that’s just my way. That was someway, I didn’t appreciate it and he couldn’t understand and he wouldn’t stop and he always wanted to control me and he still does. He’s playing the victim that him the narcissist and he’s the victim. He divorce me he wants me in the in the gutter he keeps calling me a slut. I’m not a slut I was never a slut he has slept around. He even got somebody else pregnant and I didn’t find out till 50 years after we were married. And he got that person pregnant first and told me he never slept with anybody but me. He’s been a liar since I know him not realizing it because I was gullible I was brought up totally different. I respected my mother and father. I would never hurt them and they were very good to me but I had discipline and I had responsibilities. He did not. She did not let them do anything so they became lazy adults and controlling and felt they were entitled to everything. He still harassing me. He almost killed me. He beat the hell out of me. I sent him to jail for beating me up, because he almost killed me, but he never did that before so I let him stay in jail for several months cause he was playing games with the bank account and I needed to pay the bills in the house because the house was also in his name and I wanted half the money from him. He started playing games from jail. He gave strangers his ATM card to take all the money out of the bank and they were an authorized, he was pulling a lot of stuff even in jail. I can’t believe what I have been going through and I’m all alone because he made sure that at the end the end of our lives I’m going to call it he wanted me all alone. 00 my families gone my kids turned against me because he turned them against me with his mother And he turned his friends on me saying that I’m not good when he’s the one that’s been the manipulative one his whole life. I can’t tell you how many times we moved because he was irresponsible. He didn’t want any responsibility owning a home and I made sure that in retirement we would have no mortgage. I paid all the bills all the time I gave up so much, I know he wants me in the street and he wants to take the house away from me. He’s a bum and he’s getting away with it. I guess I’m gonna have to wait for God to punish him .Justlike you said. The only thing is I want to punish now I want to see it. I would love to see it experience it I know I’m since I’m 15 I’m 73 years old. I think I deserve that much to see him punished once and for all his mother never was. he always reminded me as the years were not on like the movie psycho. I never realized it was a narcissis till two years ago. I thought he was just you know arrogant and bossy I just I never realized it. What an idiot I was.
You are NOT an idiot. Please know that God wants you to love yourself and care for yourself as much as you've cared for others. Unfortunately, people get into these situations because we believe in the good of others. Unfortunately, we also don't get to know someone who's m.o. is that of a narcissist. They are master manipulators, and we fall for their games because they are that 'good' at deception. I know, I've been there (20+ years). I'm so sorry you have gone through so much. Just don't beat yourself up with words or thoughts. Don't do to yourself what your husband did to you. You are so loved.
Don’t tear yourself down. We didn’t know. Now God has made sure that we know now. Live in the power of Holy Spirit, God the Father, and our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ !! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amen....
They always project their short comings on others; especially those they claim to love
Great program. Godly message for everyone. Thank you Kris! Blessings to you and your ministry. I’m about to face an unknown narcissist who’s causing emotional and economic damage within the family. Please pray for me. I’m going to do child care for my grandchildren over the spring break. Give their dad a reprieve. Listen and help him navigate through tough times. Trauma bond is high. He’s come a long way in a short time however his struggle to “understand “ the individual and their actions is such a confusion. He will never understand. Feeling as a failure I’m there to encourage him and show him his successes in raising not two children. Three children including the “covert narcissist” I’m not a professional. So I’m not diagnosing. Actions are the key. Armed with the knowledge and experience in my own life. I’ll calmly step into the Frey and help sort out the confusion. Not that he’s completely innocent. More of a shut down young man caring for his family as the marriage falls apart. Regrettably the mother is not willing to seek help. Has chosen destructive habits as an adult which no one can force change. Fortunately the children love their dad and are sticking by him as he navigates the turbulent waters. Thanks again Kris! ❤😊
God bless you Kriss, well explained and so true.❤
They never validate your feelings and experiences, but quickly tell you what the other persons reasoning could be. ex. They were having a bad day and didn't mean anything by it. Everyone experiences things differently. You never know where or what they might have went through today. This is done in the form of "I Care about You" "See. I am trying to show you that you are just over reacting. Then they change the subject to the weather or Themselves. Leaving you with wondering that You are the problem. You have anger issues, you don't care about others, you don't see the other's side of things. Which is Not true at all. If they validated your feelings first and said something like "Oh I know how you feel. That's terrible." before they went into how you might view the situation differently. It is all about them seeing how much they care about you and others. "See what a good person I am." Leaving you feeling empty.
#2 all the time!!!! I gotta get out.
Actions over words - well done. This was helpful.
Thank you for your videos! Very interesting. I am so glad you are delving into this "Christian" perspective. This is sooo important as so much abuse has happened via the "Church".
O my goodness I’ve been duped by several long term “friends”.
Recently I was watching a cat and a mole in the field. The cat would lay still looking intently at the mole then pounce at it while batting it with its paws. It wasn’t going to kill the mole (yet) but had a plan to please itself as it tortured the rodent. O the cat would stop, look away and nonchalantly lay there like it was finished when all the while its senses were alive, focused and savoring every moment of this game of torture. After a minute or two and the mole felt safe enough to get away the cat suddenly jumped up, surrounding the mole, battering it once again. This scenario played out over-and-over for several minutes.
I thought to myself, 🤔 this looks a lot like a narcissistic relationship!
As the whole creation groans............
I am a Christian, and I recently learned that a "friend" is a Narcissist who claims to be a Christian.
Whenever she says God Bless, or as long as God a.b and c... something inside me cringes.
She still says she doesn't understand this part of scripture... "We don't fight against flesh and blood, but powers and principalities in high places."
And her coldness is really scary.
This was such a great video. Thank you.❤❤❤
Remember that a mark of a narc is that they constantly find a way to INSULT you. One way or another they will try to insult you and "take you down a peg" because they convinced themselves (since they believe they are your judge, jury AND executioner) that you somehow DESERVE what they dish out. Keep and eye out for those who INSULT you. Evil ALWAYS insults humanity because evil HATES humanity. If you are a good person evil will try to INSULT you the most because it HATES you the most.
I think that's why they like dating apps so much. They control everything🥴
I am no longer a Christian after my toxic marriage, but I appreciate this video. Thank you.
Jesus never leaves or forsaken us, I hope you will return to the Lord and not not abandon your faith because of what a human being did to you. I too went thru mind blowing things with my X but it made me draw closer to the Lord. Jesus paid it all for YOU. I pray you let Him heal your wounds ded heart and Soul and seek after the lover of your Soul who doesnt deserve to be abandoned because of the sins of a man or woman.
Never compromise your salvation for a shallow person , you are loved greatly by Jesus
Going through a similar thing. I dont do church anymore. Very weary now of the facade.
God loved you!
No, please don't let another person or situation turn you away from Jesus!!
Some of my fam-members are Christian but exhibit toxic behavior (due to trauma). They don't recognize and call me crazy when mentioned. Sometimes doubt myself. Thank you. Needed this❤
THANK GOD I NOW RECOGNIZE THEM!
I have been dealing with these entities most of my life and it started in the family.
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL! 💕
Religious narcs are the worst
This is only a small thing but put a hundred small cuts together and it feels like death to your nervous system. When he sees something important that needs to be done and says ah we will need to take care of that soon and I say we could just get it done right now while we are here and before its worse.He turns to me and says you are a demanding woman . I go out of my way not to be demanding with ANYONE. He also has a plan of work or need to go do, for each day that keeps me feeling isolated and unable to do what I would like to .What a mess I put myself into and God warned me in His Word, dreams and people . And worse He gave me a way out I took it and then returned. Can't go back over a burnt bridge. Feeling I failed in every way possible and feel defeated.
Gods on your side
He thinks you're great
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ..Rom.8
Can you leave him?
@@anneboyle2240 Put myself in a bad position. The flags were there and i took the you need to come home so we can do the future bait , anyways .So im here and have some figuring it out and working it out to do now. My own bad no one elses .❤
This is some great information and very useful for both the Christian and Christian psychotherapist. Thank you.
Thank you very much❣️🙏 It is good to see this list among Christians❤️
Do narcissists usually come from an extremely disfunctional upbringing?
I believe they mostly do.
@@elizabethcobb3316 They lack stability.
#6 is powerful… It’s not always about forgiveness… trust is important!
I've been trying for 13 years to please my wife, despite my own flaws and sins. I've done whatever I can to check her boxes and it usually feels like nothing is ever good enough. Just over a year ago she filed for divorce the day after I re-enlisted in the Army to continue supporting her and our daughters. About three months ago she started seeing another man and we are not even divorced yet. What's worse is that she has already immersed him into every aspect of the lives of our daughters in every aspect. But, according to her, I am the "controlling" "narcissistic" one. I'm praying for both of us, as I am far from perfect, and having faith that God will change her heart (if she allows Him to) and through Christ, our marriage and family will be healed and restored, better than it's ever been. I know it will take time and both of us working together, but I also know that God is far greater and more than capable.
Brilliant!!! So very helpful!!! And spot on.
As someone who used to deal with this issue, God humbled me and transformed my life. And I do not deserve it.
With that being said not all narcissists are intentional, with a lot dealing with the same traumas you have, and for you to judge narcissist, treating them like they're worse than sin without realizing your own self-absorbed tendencies as a human is hypocritical, and Jesus would not be happy.
I also noticed most criticizes of narcissists are nothing but bitter and that is just as dangerous because at one point I exhibiting tendencies of both and it took God himself to deliver me.
I'm not saying don't take it seriously, but what I am saying is don't become self-righteous and bitter, as is the habit of the majority of this community it seems like.
11:14 rules for thee, not for me
thanks for the video.
There are consistent traits with narcissists; I am trying to sort out the obvious spiritual root cause, and how scripture describes this.
Wow! This is a good video. Thank you
Very instructive !
Was a victim of this and my wife suffered from a lost relationship with a supposed best friend…. But was mistaken.
Your 5 points are so matching with what we have experienced.
The Bible tells us through Paul not to associate with people who claim to be Christians but are not. Certainly because they are so hardened, no progress can be found as no evidence of true repentance.
True Christianity is a life of everyday examination and repentance 🙏🏼