I am a non-binary person and I have been for a while. I’m struggling a lot with having people use my correct pronouns, just because I don’t use they/them pronouns. I really appreciate videos like these that show you don’t need to use they/them if you’re non-binary.
That's really rough, know you're valid and whatever pronouns you choose to use are valid. I hope you'll be able to surround yourself with people who respect you and your pronouns, you're worthy of that basic level of respect. Actually you're worthy of much more, but starting there😉
The “gay in a way you can’t tell” one reminded me of a story my Aunt told me. Basically, sometime in the 70s or 80s (can’t remember when exactly) she (a cis butch lesbian) and her best friend (a cis fem gay man) went on a trip across Asia. Now, apparently on this trip they were constantly mistaken for a couple, but in her words “every type of couple. We got mistaken for a straight couple with me as the girl and him as the boy, a straight couple where I was the guy and he was the girl, a lesbian couple, a gay couple, truely every type of couple.” Nothing bad happened, besides a monkey stealing her friend’s hat, so overall a good trip with a funny story!
I'm a genderfluild person, who goes by all pronouns and recently I found out two things about my very accepting mum. 1.) She decidedly refers to me only as her 'child' when talking about me to others, because she grew tired of people making a huge deal out of my gender identy, when she just wanted to share a funny story about me and 2.) She gave a friend of hers, who struggled with how to adress me the tip 'go by whatever they are wearing today and don't make a big deal out of it'. Love my mum! 💛
I'm the same, however I only came out last year, and relatively late in life. My mother was one of the first people to whom I came out. However, she still doesn't use my new pronouns, probably due to force of habit, and that she doesn't want to out me to people I haven't told yet. I've told her it's okay, but it's going to take time. I still present as my AGAB, after all.
I’m nonbinary and when my friend was taking photography classes I’d help her out by being in photo shoots. When she presented them to her class, apparently everyone gave up trying to gender me and just called me ‘the one with the pink hair.’ It was just the MOST validating thing ever
After reading the comments I've come to the conclusion that we need more "use any pronoun" gear. There are all sorts of pins/stickers/clothing/jewelry with preferred pronouns on them, which is wonderful. So many websites have options to specify pronouns on profiles, which is fantastic. But apparently I'm not the only one that shies away from it because "any" is never one of the options. (Okay I did see it ONE time, but it was registering for an LGBTQ+ conference...)
My daughter is 4 years old and even she understands that looking tough or pretty or muscular or whatever is totally independent of the gender a person identifies as.
When I was four and someone "adult" (like 15 and above) told me something, I believe them; they are the smart grown-ups, so they must be right! A lot of those things will stick, so if you teach them early on, they will usually remember it forever. Which is why if the opposite is taught, many kids grow up with homo/transphobia tyat is hard to get rid off later in life. You teaching your daughter this pretty much guarantees she'll grow up tolerant, understanding and accepting. Good on you!
Not only have non-binary genders existed for centuries but in many cultures, they are spiritually significant. It saddens me that people reject anything outside their world view, but it gives me hope that many are trying to normalize Non-Binary existence now.
I was actually called mahu before finding out I was intersex and realising I was nb I loved the special attention I was given by our hawaiian culture teacher
it's always this "it's always been like this" oh yeah? how long is your "alwas" and where has it been like this? oh, only in europe in the past 500 to 1000 years? that's hardly representative!
i'm an afab nonbinary and i don't want to be amab, but i still get dysphoria, and i want to be perceived as anything other than a girl, but i dress feminine, but i feel uncomfortable calling myself femme-presenting, and i use he/they. gender is definitely not confusing 👍
I'm non-bianary, though assigned female at birth, and it took me ages to wear skirts comfortably. It felt like I was somehow giving up on my identity. Thanks for the kind words Jamie! It's nice to feel validated, even though I definitely look like a girl most of the time. 💛
I'm with you! I go mainly by she, kept my feminine name, and it was only after I realised that I was enby in my mid-late 20's that I switched to exclusively wearing skirts and dresses. I shunned them growing up because I didn't want to be "girly," and it was only once I realised why I hated that thought that I was able to accept that I could like them.
Someone I know who's AFAB non-binary didn't wear skirts at all before exploring their gender identity. Now they wear skirts often. I think, at least for them, it was not being comfortable presenting as female but not really understanding why. I'm glad you're in a place where you're comfortable wearing the clothing you want to wear.
I think it should be really spelled out for those unfamiliar with the movie: IT IS NOT A MEME! IT IS AN ACTUAL LINE! (I just wanted to point out how wholsome the Addams are 🖤🖤🖤 )
My non-binary euphoria comes when people can’t tell what “gender” I am. Aka androgynous. But just because that’s my transition goal, doesn’t mean that that’s everyone’s transition goal. Everyone has a different idea of what man and woman is. Why can’t non binary be like that?
Exactly, I spent a month at a camp-ish thing and everyone there told me they couldn’t tell if I was afab or amab and the gender euphoria I got was insane. It’s really cool that everybody’s euphoria and disphoria works differently and we should be working to make people feel euphoric whatever it is for them
One time I walked into a sociology class and was asked my pronouns and my response was "oh fuck I'm too gay for that shit" turns out the other new student was a nun from Africa.... and when she was asked she considered for a moment and said "same as them" Again they were a fucking nun
My gender is like a Lacroix that says it's lime flavored. On the outside, the label screams green and citrus, but ANYONE can tell you it just is carbonated water. Not a hint of zest other than the exterior. 💛
I'm a cis girl (unless I'm yet to have some kind of realisation) but I very much support burning gender roles to the ground. Gender is fluid. It is not and has never been binary. It is beautiful, and it can be whatever feels right for you. Wear whatever you want. Use whatever pronouns you feel most comfortable with. I support you.
I‘m a (probably) cis girl and not very feminine but on some days i 100% feel like a girl but on other days I just… don’t know anything anymore Am I cis? Am I genderfluid? Am agender? Nonbinary? Sometimes I’m so sure that I’m a girl but sometimes the concept of gender just doesn’t make sense to me…I’m me. Why do I need to be a girl too? Isn’t „just me“ enough? Idk… Sorry for my rambling and my bad English! It’s pretty late and english isn’t my first language
@@JustJoe10 Nonbinary person here! I don't have much experience with being cis so I can't say much about what it feels like to be a cis woman, but maybe look up the terms demigirl and girlflux? Again, labels really mean nothing at the end of the day, just do what makes you happy :) (Also, your English was fine)
Hey! I know that wizard! Just in case you or someone/anyone else is worried about the gender/s you gambled away: The wizard is taking very well care of every single one of them... S'hey've got heisir own gender issues, being something kinda like pangender but a bit more complex still: S'hey basically feel more comfortable with shiemselves the more gender identities s'hey have, but s'hey're also pretty generous when it comes to giving away gender identities to those who would be happier with them than s'hey, shiemselves, are... Now, if only s'hey could get over heisir terrible gambling addiction...
I once told my mom about the noun name thing and she thought it was weird (she is the type to be happier when the attention is not on her) and she has a job where she meets all sorts of folks, and has told me about meeting a few binary trans people, so I know it's only a matter of time before she meets a nounbinary person. Yes, I wrote "nounbinary" on purpose.
You know, interesting thing about that person accidentally using Prince's special mark on their makeshift nonbinary flag, a common recurring theme in alot of his music and creative works (other than singing about sex) was exploring the duality of his own nature. He was born a Gemini, and always talked about how he often felt like two people living in one body. Not only did he often openly discuss his bisexual leanings, but he openly explored his own gender identity and representation. To quote a lyric from one of his biggest hits "I'm not a woman, I'm not a man/I am something that you'll never understand/But I would die for you". Just something to mull over, especially considering how often people like to glaze over that side of personality.
EXACTLY!! it’s clear that even if prince didn’t identify as non-binary (publicly or otherwise), he definitely was vocal about not fitting the binary boxes and a big supporter of inclusivity. i think he’d probably be happy with people using it that way.
I’m non-binary and I came out really recently, so a couple weeks ago my friend was introducing me to some of her friends and she said “this is Hazel, they use they/she pronouns” and that was the first time I’d actually heard someone use they/them pronouns out loud for me and I’ve never been happier. Thank you so much for making videos like this, they make me so happy (and for saying that enbies can use binary pronouns because I do and I don’t hear that enough!) 💛💛
the first couple of times people used they/them for me in my presence I was confused about who they were talking about because no one had actually said it out loud to me before
The one and ONLY issue I have with gender neutral bathrooms is that men are gross and can't keep a bathroom clean. When people realized we had gender neutral single bathrooms at my college, lots of men started using them and the toilets and floor would have pee on them often. SIGHHHH
I wish we had gender neutral bathrooms but sometimes i forget messes like this soooo i think i MIGHT just stick with the girls restroom... I always feel like im just lying to myself when i use it though 😢
I'm nonbinary and I haven't legally changed my name yet, I just graduated from a VERY conservative university and so it was a little bit of a bummer to have my deadname called out for the graduation but I feel way worse for my mtf friend whose deadname is very gendered :/ Oh well, it'll get better from here
You got this! I feel the name thing my name is Rainsong so everyone compliments my mother, who abused me my whole life. I can’t wait for the name change, and I’m so excited for you guys for a better future!
The "cant tell which way" one is so incredibly relatable lol. I'm nonbinary and bisexual and the best way i know how to explain what that means is as "double-gay": I like men in a mlm way but women in a wlw way 💛 💖💜💙
As an AMAB non binary person, I feel very happy when people acknowledge that we exist too. There's not really much support for us, especially If we are masculine in presentation, I've seen people pushed out of the community just for being AMAB, masc presenting and non-binary. I still fuss over whether I look androgynous enough, but then I realise that I wouldn't say someone isn't non binary of they aren't androgynous, so I usually prevent myself from spiralling. I really enjoyed this video! And here's the yellow heart: 💛
so i'm AMAB non-binary but prefer to be quite femme-presenting -- when i'm at the more masc end of things, i often wonder if i'm just deluding myself and feel really fake -- it's all very odd as jamie said, all our identities are valid
As an afab nonbinary, I never understood how you can see gender so I don’t care as much about my appearance. Although I very much do enjoy androgynous looks. Here’s a white and black heart 🤍🖤
I recently adopted the term non-binary to describe myself after struggling with my gender and gender expression and you were a part of helping me except that part of myself. Keep doing what you do!💛
Can you say congratulations in this context? I want to show support but I lack proper words and don't want to be mistaken for being sarcastic. Maybe I'm just over thinking. Anyways. ✨Support!✨
I can't even imagine what your lived experiences must be. I learned recently about a study in the UK that revealed a huge surprising incidence of people walking around with more than 2 sex chromosomes. And we know that many animals species have more than 2 genders or only one gender. Gender expression is a breathtakingly complex display of genes, physical environment, upbringing and personality.
My name is Pi so when people are like "is that a boy name or a girl name?" And I'm just like "It's a mathematical constant." Also I still use the women's room at work because we don't have a gender neutral bathroom and I've cleaned both rooms and the men's room is always sticky. But when people walk in and see me in the women's room and go "am I in the right room?" I'm just like "I dunno. Where did you want to be?"
Not to be that person, but I hate math! >_< I blame my maths teachers... Also, yeah, I feel you on the bathroom issue. I don't know what the hell it is guys are doing in there, all I know is that it cannot be what I've been doing in there whenever during my life I've identified as masc.
OH DEAR STARS. i'm using 3141592653589793 (yep, pi for short! i just love how it looks like a mishmash of digits but people sometimes recognize it) as my online nickname in some places and i appreciate you SO much
Lol I love that I'm not the only one who chooses to use the woman's restroom because it's usually cleaner! The men's room almost always has soap though so sometimes I'll use the woman's restroom then wash my hands in the men's restroom. Non-binary privilege I guess? Also, I love your "where do you want to be" response. I think I'm going to start using that.
I am a teacher and our school recently put in two gender neutral single bathrooms, but any student can use them for any reason so they're usually gross or being used so I'm still stuck using the women's restroom.
I have the same issue. I am also afab and often more feminine presenting. Another enby always used to tell me no matter how you present the only thing that matters is that you feel good about it and no one can tell you how you "should present". So yeah you are valid no matter how you present !! 💛💛💛
@@sweettea1193 Presenting or wearing certain clothes don't make someone NB. If so, would a woman wearing pants or a suit, or just a tomboy suddenly become a man? Or a guy wearing a skirt or dress suddenly become a woman? Gender Identity is not the same as gender presentation, though sometimes the two are correlated.
As a frequently feminine non-binary afab guy, I give you my Power Of The Glitterbeard to help you bend perception of you to a realm you are comfortable with
5:20 i totally agree! generally it seems like lots of people still think gender and sex are synonyms, so i think if male/female referred to sex, and man/woman referred to binary genders, then it would cause less confusion
The pain of when you see a cool androgynous looking person on the street and want to compliment their clothes or merch or something but your native language doesn't have any neutral pronouns and it's impossible not to use gender and you don't wanna misgender them nor offend them by asking straight up so you just end up never speaking to fellow LGBTQs at all :')
That sucks so much! My native languages aren't grammatically gendered, but two that I'm learning are! Not ideal, but maybe saying the noun and doing a thumbs up or something might work?? Or just a translation of "Cool hair" etc., so the gender agrees with the thing you're complimenting only? And something like "That hairstyle is awesome!" shouldn't gender the person in any language I know of
I work in a grocery store and I always really appreciate people who approach me and just say "excuse me" or "can you help me find something?" instead of adding "sir/ma'am" There are other ways to get people's attention, and you don't need pronouns at all. Like for you, you could say "excuse me, may I compliment you on your awesome shirt?" or something like that.
@@MBZ901 Many individuals that are present in my life are constantly changing their gender expression and pronouns. Needless to say, it becomes difficult to keep up with.
I am genderfluid. When I came out to my two closest friends, I was taken aback. Their response was "Yeah, we knew, we were just waiting for you to tell us 💜" and that was the first time I had ever felt so happy. And also, my name is a mess. Sammja is something I cane up with by combining the initials of my family members and my deadname, and my second name is "Mar" which means "sea" in Spanish.
@@CouldntThinkOfaGoodUsername I don't really know how to explain it, but Mar is pronounced like "are" (as in "you are") preceeded by an m. And Sammja is "Sam" like the name, then "ja" the way it would be pronounced in January. Does that make sense?
💛 I’m an Enby, and The euphoria I get from having people have to physically walk up to me and ask If I’m a boy or girl is amazing… And I got to explain some shit to folks, most are understanding but there’s still a big chunk that aren’t…
As an non-androgynous enby, I love it when my correct pronouns are used. I came out in September and my partner has been so good about correcting people.
@@Red_Devil_Stew he has just told me when he was 16 and he was scouts scavenger hunt and they had to get a picture of a fish, and I worked on the supermarket fish counter at the time 😂. I would have been 21.
lol being only 14 and rly shy and with anxiety I never correct ppl. but yesterday it felt amazing when my mom used they/them for me when we were at a store. I'm only out since a couple weeks ago and whenever my mom uses my pronouns it feels great
I love ur bubbly style on ur channel, it comes across as very lighthearted, but I always find myself crying watching these videos bc they're so validating. They keep me sane, before and after going out into the world.
i came out as non binary to my dad the other day and it really didn’t go well so thank you jamie for uploading this video and giving me some positivity about my gender that i really needed today :]
I'm sorry your coming out didn't go well. Just remember whatever people say, you are you and others don't get to decide your gender for you. You're amazing!
Imagine thinking labeling yourself as non-binary is even remotely close to coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. You're just slapping a label on without any sacrifice or risk and you somehow think you're brave because of it.
@ ThisIsNotACreativeName Genderfluid means your gender changes. For example yesterday I was a guy and used he/him today I’m nonbinary and would use they/he. One week I started out completely masculine and ended up completely feminine by Saturday. My gender is fluid and changes. It’s not set in stone
nonbinary/bunnygender here, a couple weeks ago i was talking to my color guard captain and she asked for my pronouns and it made me so unreasonably happy! i've also (sort of subtly) come out to a couple of my teacher and in general ive just had more and more people use they/them for me (even though i also use a whole hoard of neopronouns, those are just hard to describe to people irl sometimes) and it makes me so unreasonably happy to see more and more people asking about it and acknowledging people!!
The "non-binary people don't choose names but words" one hit hard. I've been thinking about names for over a year now and I'm suddenly feeling like maybe a household object could be my namesake...
I've been puzzling over new name possibilities too (my TH-cam handle being one of the serious contenders). Now I'm wondering what would happen if I let a random word generator come up with my name. 🤔
Ok, just did this and apparently I shall henceforth be called: Plead. Perhaps I should have specified nouns only? Edit: Using all the word types the generator offers, my full name is now: Plead Youth Incredible Yardgrass. Which actually isn't half bad if you do that thing where you repeat words over and over again till they lose meaning and just become random sounds.
@ Sunny Quinn I think that would work. Also we have the same name! But for some reason TH-cam won’t let me change my name to quin so I’m stuck with Skylar.
Slow but steady journey to educate my 10-year-old brother on the lgbt community is still ongoing, and going well. Recently I taught him about non-binary, and how all my friends and I are, and all of our preferred names. I’m raising him to be accepting whether my homophobic transphobic parents like it or not
@@disableddragonborn yea lmao a few of us found each other before we came out and the others pretty quickly afterwards (other ppl call our friend group the emo gays apparently)
"Millennials aren't creating new gender identities they're only giving language to ones that have always existed under the burden of shame." Very well put ♥︎
honestly I find so much comfort in these kind of videos about I feel so seen and validated and comforted in the search of my identity so thank you Jamie!!!! 💛
Y'know who are cool? People who use all pronouns. THE FUCKING POWER. Holy shit. Imagine having a transphobic person attempt repeatedly to misgender you, but they just fail... and they can only fail. They just can't win. They literally just can't. That shit is an insane god-level amount of power. I've nothing more than awe and amazement for those folk.
Thanks Jamie! I cracked the egg on being non-binary in 2020 and now I'm actually starting to get out of that shell. After 30 years my own habits are my worst enemy. I picked a really cool new name (of course it's not an actual name :P), but if people ask me unexpectedly I still hear myself telling them my old one. I'm at the point where every gendered clothing item and cosmetic make me do a double take on my gender presentation, it's a really weird time. I got super supportive friends though, so I'll be fine, but some enby memes and support from you are always much appreciated!
I did it last year at 34 (and went for a shortened version of my birth name, it was my nickname for years and I’ve always preferred it) I lived in “mens” clothes since I was a kid. My partner has been nothing but supportive and only bitches about things that were a problem before i came out (I’m terminally messy).
💛💛💛 Seeing your videos was the starting point of me actually doing things to transition, even if it's not going to be in the close future (gosh darn waiting lists) but yeah, thank you so much, I really appreciate everything you do and I really liked your collaboration with mdj
@Stripes there's a difference between doing what you want and being yourself tho, sure they could have generally done whatever they wanted before realising they are enby, but they were not comfortable because they weren't being themselves. (This is just in general terms, op please correct me if I've made wrong assumptions about your experience!) Sure, i could technically identify as a woman and still do whatever because gender doesnt impact what you can and cant do, but what is the point if it makes me actively less happy to identify that way? If i am a million times happier being a funny little dude-but-in-vibes-only-and-not-actually-a-man, why should i choose to make myself more miserable?
@Stripes you literally don't tho, believing that gender roles mean nothing and believing trans people on their identities are not exclusive to each other. The reason i don't identify as a woman isn't because i went "well women are this way and that way and I'm not like that so I'm not a woman", it's just an inherent sense of self. Someone else could totally present and behave pretty much identically to me and still be a woman, or a man, or agender. From my experience alot of people vilify afab trans people in their minds and think that we're trans because "we think we're better than you". We don't think we're better than you, we just aren't you. Blah blah society as it stands does not allow people to simply exist without having to justify their identity and categorise themselves into one of the limited acceptable boxes so ofcourse people are identifying outside of those boxes, blah blah gender is literally made up, blah blah "afab people are often but certainly not always more feminine but what we define as feminine is the traits we decided they should have when they were treated as subhuman so it means nothing anyway because there is no way to tell if afab humans raised in a culture without genderoles would still be more feminine on average or not" As it stands, labels are useful to get some general information about yourself across quickly and potentially in a less invasive way. It would be exhausting and uncomfrotable to explain my relationship with gender and how its all silly anyway and im just a funny little guy but not in a man way just in the way that you would perceive a pigeon doing something weird on your window sill and go "oh look at that guy!" but its generally fine to kinda talk about me like a man and i would rather strangers assume that than woman because that makes me skin crawl and kinda makes me wanna vom, but that doesnt make me a man im still uncomfortable being perceived that way to some extent because when i date women it sure as hell aint straight. Instead of all that, i can just say im enby and my pronouns are he/they and thats that. Labels just help other people get an easier idea of how you wish to be perceived, and you can choose to just....not use labels if you dont want to. Or elaborate as much or as little as you want. Im sorry if any of this comes across as angry because thats not my intention at all (or if its uninteligable, im like half asleep responding to this ngl) , im just sick and tired of people twisting my experience simply existing into a way to put me down. "Oh you think you're fighting gender but really you're the one reinforcing it!" "Oh youve got internalised misogyny to work through you hate women so much you transitioned just because of that!!" We are not trying to hurt anyone by existing. We are not actually hurting anyone by existing. We are doing our best in a system that wasn't made to accommodate us. We literally just want to be respected and left alone.
Damn sorry for starting a whole thing in the replies lol, and congrats on figuring out who you are! Knowing yourself well enough to realise you're non binary is a wonderful thing
I am afab nb and present mostly traditionally female, I don't think any of my friends see me as anything other than a cis woman and I often have anxiety about whether I am making it up or just want attention. videos like this and the comment section really help me reaffirm my self and how I see myself, thank you so much!
I’m the same! Well, I am lucky that I have gender-nonconforming friends around me so it’s different in that aspect, but I often struggle with thinking that my presentation affects my actual identity and perception. I’m pretty feminine but that doesn’t make me any less nb, you know? I’m genuinely sorry that your friends might just see you as a cis woman when you aren’t. But I’m sure that you’re not an attention-seeker either, because you’re overly worried you might be and that’s almost never an indication of an actual attention-seeker. Im not sure where I was going with this but … um? Afab nb feminine solidarity?
My therapist is a femme-presenting nb person who uses masc pronouns, and few things have been as validating as this connection lol. I was telling him how I feel like a fake saying I'm nb when I'm femme and how "it doesn't bother me that people see me as a woman".... as he heard me completely feel uncomfortable saying that and HEAVY hesitation when I used the word "woman", he was like "The fact that you were uncomfortable saying that shows that you really don't feel that way and are nb" and it was SO validating. I hope you find other nbs that get you
💛Moinings, agender humanoid here. I really like the "using the dictionary to find a name" one! How did you ppl choose a name? I picked Taiga because of my love for the cold and nature.
I go by Ama online because of the sounds. I'm one of those people that perceive personality traits in letters and numbers, so to me, Ama is the most gender neutral name possible. The sound of the "m" is just the essence of neutrality to me.
I learned about non-binary about 6-7 years ago and I remember being very confused at first. I couldn't understand how you can identify as something other than female or male. So I asked on tumblr if anyone who identified as non-binary to explain it to me. I got few messaged, asked more questions and received lovely, detailed answers and after reading all of that I was like "wait a minute... that's actually... lowkey I feel about myself". For a solid while I truly tried to figure out if I was actually non-binary too. Tbh years later I definitely identify as cis woman, BUT I gained valueable knowledge about other people. We all should be comfortable with who we are. Edit: deleted few parts because some of yall are reaching or misreading it for no reason.
I celebrate it every time one of my friends goes on a soul seeking journey to question and explore there gender even when they come to the conclusion that they were cis all along. I remember one time I was at a NB meetup where there was a woman who had been there a few times and they were really embarrassed to admit that they had realized through her exploration that she actually cis and all of my NB friends surrounded her with love and congratulated her for exploring her gender and learning more about herself. I think everyone owes it to themself to earnestly explore their gender.
Every gender journey is valid and is important, I’m really glad you asked questions and explored things ☺️ I wish more folks would do that. Thanks for being an ally
@@sweettea1193 I literally said in my original comment I am not non-binary, dude, read with comprehension. There was a point where I thought I was by talking to non-binary people and relating to them a lot, but then I realized I wasn't. It was a simple self-discovery journey and trying to find myself, understand my gender identity. As other replies said, it is still ok to go through that and in the end realize one identifies as cis.
I did the "tomboy to wait i like girls to wait i'm not a girl" pipeline to lol. I'm a nonbinary guy (and afab) and they/he pronouns. Also, wish I was an amab enby instead of an afab enby. 💛
After struggling this week with trying explain to my brother that yes, refusing to call me they/them because you he doesn't like it is rude, and isn't supportive, these enby memes are just what I needed. Thank you Jamie
Try explaining it like this, maybe. There is someone named Richard. One of the most common nicknames for Richard is Dick. Richard has made it clear he hates being called Dick, but his friends insist on calling him Dick, even after it obviously makes him upset. Are his friends actually being supportive by continuing to call him Dick? Alternatively, if there's a nickname or pet name that someone gave him that he hates, ask him how he'd like it if you only ever referred to him by it because you don't like his name. If it absolutely comes down to it, you could *find* one that he absolutely hates being called, and call him by it. Then when he inevitably gets mad about it, just tell him, "Well, I don't see the difference between me calling you Poopybreath Dildoworth because I don't like your name and you refusing to use the right pronouns for me because you don't like it."
I love your respect for everyone. You have no idea but you help me a lot and have helped me a lot in the past. Your way of looking at things helped me a lot too with my dysphory and dealing with transphoby. (And much more things too). I remember your reactions to illogical people and all those things that stress me out and let me felling bad and wirh that and the knowledge and respect that you demonstrate to others, it helps me to relax or go out of a bad mental state or place, thanks a lot! 😄 You helped me a lot when I was really in a dark place in my mind. I saw light and lightness in your videos and that helped me a lot and still helps a lot too. Those videos about nonbinary people specially are helping me a lot too of lately. In truth all your videos do but those are helping a lot recently. Thanks a lot. Much light and love to you and Shaaba.
💛As someone who has only within the past year come to realize my identity as a non-binary person, I am very glad you do these videos! They're informative and bring a smile to many people's faces! I also went through the "I'm a tomboy" to "I'm fem aligned" to "I don't know what the heck I am" to "I'm all genders but none at the same time" pipeline
That’s literally insane that this was posted just now!!! I just had a conversation on a discord like 30 min ago with someone coming at me about there only being two genders scientifically. I hadn’t even said I was an enby yet. I actually said I was pretransition AFAB. My situation surrounding gender is so complicated and painful. My view on my own gender was built on trauma that I didn’t expect this individual to hear me out on, but they did. I came out as male as a five ish year old and was assaulted by my mother and her friends. I had chopped all my hair and was so happy to show her and she attacked me. She said I was too beautiful to be a man and she would not lose her daughter. The following years she continued abuse me until I could leave at 17. As an adult it is difficult to completely accept being a trans man, as the thought of it is so incredibly painful for me. My spouse also prefers women, so changing my body feels unfair to them. The gender identity is a bit of a mess to be honest, haha. I go by any pronoun just accept any assumptions to avoid confrontation. In my circle I go as non-binary. This person listened to me and seemed to be understanding! It made me feel so surprised but also grateful that someone who has a strong opinion is also someone who is willing to take in new information. It made me feel hopeful. Thanks so much Jamie!!! Always a pleasure! 🌧🌈⛈
Sounds like we have similar backgrounds, sadly :( I'm so sorry you've gone through all of that, and I also struggle accepting myself as a transman due to lots of abuse and trauma. Actually, I've kinda been wondering if I'm a very masculine nonbinary, but all the trauma and gaslighting and my past as one of those "all men evil" (isolation and only knowing horrible abusive men for ~2 decades. I don't think that way now thankfully) feminists makes it hard to know for sure about some things lol I really hope your spouse is able to come around more to things (or is able to reframe/rename their attraction to you and grow with you on that front to where you're both happy and your authentic selves)
"Only 2 genders scientifically"? Ha! There aren't even "only 2 sets of genitals." 17 or of every 1000 people are intersex - i.e. have "ambiguous genitalia." I'm so saddened to hear that you had to endure so much abuse from your parent. You did not deserve that. I hope for a better and brighter future for you.
😣 I’m really so terribly sorry you’ve gone through all that. I hope you can find a therapist to talk to who can help you make sense of things, and to put your wants and needs first-it sounds like you’ve been literally trained to NOT do that, and that can be so bad for our mental and physical health. We all need to come first sometimes (and not just in the fun x-rated sense). You deserve to be who you are, whoever that is, however you construct that, regardless of your spouse or mom or anyone else. 🌈🦄💜
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Please know that you are VALID and PERFECT and no one has the right to take that away from you! If they don't understand, it's their loss, not yours.
Hi, I am a nonbinary person who has struggled with thinking about what other people think my gender is. When you said that any person can dress how they want and that it does not affect their identity, I felt so seen! I like wearing dresses but I like wearing pants too and hearing a person tell me that that is ok is a amazing! Thank You!
Am non-binary and there are no real they/them pronounces in my language so the struggle with getting people to accept my identety here is very high (expecially my mom accepting the new pronounces)
That is tough, I’m sorry. But language is constantly evolving, and maybe new neutral pronouns will emerge that feel more gender-affirming for you ☺️ good luck from a fellow enby pal
I hope sometime Jamie does a vid on aro memes! On another note, I'm just vibing in socially transitioned trans man and people think Im nonbinary cuz I look androgynous. I confused a whole room of people and for 2 weeks they were trying to figure out what I am
See, as an enby, that would be the BEST! XD Though I know for binary folks, especially trans people, that can be a bit painful. Hopefully it brought you amusement and not frustration! 💜
@@JustJoe10 I have so much fun being called the confusion. Atp I introduce myself that way. Sometimes it sucks cuz people insist Im a girl, but its nothing disheartening. I just own my confusion and laugh whenever someone hesitates to use pronouns for me
I realized a while back that I feel awful when I misgender/deadname someone and want to apologize profusely, but also I'm nonbinary and changed my name and when people do it (accidentally) to me it doesn't bother me because I know they're trying. Noticing this odd double standard of mine made me realize I should probably chill more when I accidentally use the wrong word/name for a friend.
Same tbh! It took a while for me to recognize that most people prefer if I don’t make a big deal out of accidentally misgendering someone bc while it seems that lots of apologizing shows sincerity, it’s just. Better if someone just quickly apologizes, moves on, and tries not to do it again.
I think it definitely hurts if they don't even notice it and even worse when they keep doing it without taking a second to pause. But I definitely hate when someone apologises for too long and feels like they have to reaffirm that they support me and are sorry. Like, I appreciate the sentiment but it feels almost performative and awkward. Which is to say that I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just very difficult to move things on and it halts conversation.
I am an enby and live in a homo/transphobic country with not even mom accepting my identity, but your videos make me happy every time, your positive vibe helps me get through the day. Thank you for what you're doing!💛💛💛
When I first heard the term non-binary I thought "Oh my god, that's how I feel!" as I never had the words for it growing up in the 90s. Then I watched some videos about being non-binary, where everyone used neutral pronouns and most seemed to have quite severe dysphoria and I thought "Oh, this isn't how I feel so maybe I'm not non-binary". Then I found the term Agender and I think finally I've worked it out. 🙂 For me, I've never felt any gender at all but I don't mind how other people perceive me or what they call me. There are times when I feel uncomfortable (wearing very feminine clothes or make up, being assumed to be part of a group of women) but mostly I just live my life with my non gendered brain. It's very much an internal thing for me. It's so useful to have spaces online where lots of different experiences can be discussed and all people are accepted. ❤️
Yeah ikr it's so validating, I grew up around the same time u did and there were only transgirl/guy labels being represented, as a kid i felt so dysphoric forcing myself to be a transguy so i dont have to be a girl and i felt like my dysphoria w my female body wasn't enough, and today the representation is so much better that its ok to not be a girl or a guy and have dysphoria.
I think your experiencing is interesting because I (an agenderish person) find a LOT of agender people feel exactly the way you described, that seems to be the norm in agender spaces. Ironically enough I often feel alienated from agender spaces because I don't feel this way and am more like the nonbinary people you described prior. It does matter how people percieve me and I would prefer neutral pronouns. But I'm also not entirely like the stereotypical enby, and that can be alienating too. I think it comes down to the fact that being nonbinary is such a broad experience, it's a word that encapsulates so many different identities and I wish more people recognized this instead of treating it like a third gender with strict rules that need to be adhered to in order to gain 'legitimate' membership, in the same way they do with being a man or woman.
@@ThiCC_Yosh It's ironic that some people think gender clinics are forcing kids into transitioning when actually for people like us, they would have been so helpful to work out that we're not FtM/MtF. Just hearing that you can be non-binary and not tell everyone was so useful to me. I see it in a similar way to being autistic. There are people I haven't shared my diagnosis with but it doesn't make me any less autistic.
Hey, can you help me out with something? I've identified as agender too, for a few years now. But lately I've been wondering about it. Every article I've read about the definition of agender has listed, in a list of terms that may be used as synonyms, something along the lines of "null-gender" or "void." But that's not how I feel. I do not feel a lack of gender within myself. Rather, I feel that I wander across both genders. That, if there was a line with woman on one end and man on the other end with a mark in the middle to indicate complete lack of either masculinity or femininity (with increasing distance from the middle representing increasing masculinity or femininity), my gender would best be represented by a bubble around the middle. The bubble is not perfectly centered on the mark; it covers slightly more of the masculine side. And it is a bubble, and I wander around within that bubble, and that way of living is how my gender works. If I could have any power I wanted, I would have the power to switch between being male and female any time I want with almost no effort. My male and female forms would be nearly identical and very hard to tell apart, and I would switch between them very often, probably without always noticing that I had. As an agender person who might have more experience with a community of agender people than I do (I have none), have you found that the word agender includes that kind of experience? In every other way, the words agender or neutrois fit me perfectly. I'm just confused about the listing of null as a synonym.
@@sarahvunkannon7336 I'm not one of those who commented earlier, but as another agender person, I think what you describe better fits the definition of _genderfluid_ than _agender._ You're feeling some degree of association with the concept of _man_ and _woman_ at different times, or at the same time to different degrees. For me, both of those concepts are purely academic; I know what society uses to define them, but I feel no belonging, identification, or recognition with either. In fact, my AFAB-secondary-sex traits cause what I finally recognized as gender dysphoria, because they "gender" my body and always have. As someone who grew up well before most of Jamie's audience, it took me until I was in my 30s to even begin to understand my identity, and I didn't pin it down until after I was 40. I say this to remind you that while it certainly is a relief to understand these things about yourself, there's no deadline to get it right. And you're valid no matter what. 💜
I mean, even if "I'm not a man or a woman" were an entirely new concept - so what? Twenty years ago, "social media influencer" wasn't a job and now we're all up to our necks in them.
💛 tysm for the lovely video Jamie!! Definitely gonna have to use the responses to "are you a boy or a girl", they were fab! These kinds of videos are realy helpful, affirming and just really nice to see as someone going though descovering my own identity^-^
YAY, thank you Jamie! I just realized I'm a feminine presenting AFAB non-binary person who is fine with she/her as well as they/them. I'm just more comfortable with that than calling myself a woman, but I didn't realize it was an option until this video, so YAY! Thank you! I had no idea how to leave a little yellow heart, but I just figured it out! 💛
Enby memes are so validating and I love it :) I'm a baby enby because I only started socially transitioning in select spaces in 2020 so I'm still not really sure what my vibe is. I still dress very feminine because it's all I know and I can't justify the cost of getting neutral or masculine clothing (not in this economy). I'm getting better about not feeling so rushed to figure out what my vibe and presentation are, I'm trying to just let it happen as it happens.
One great way to try out different clothing styles is to go to thrift stores! It's where I've found the majority of my masc presenting clothing. At some places, you can find reaaalllyyy nice brand name things and niche luxuries for like 80-95% discount (ex: less than $10 for a silk blouse, and ~$3-5 for most items) Though I admit, even $5 for a shirt has been too expensive for me, sometimes 😅
I suggest looking to see if there's any clothing exchanges in the LGBTQ+/Queer community in your area. People bring clothes they don't want anymore and you can pick from other people's unwanted clothes and nothing costs any money and it's usually a lot of trans and nb people validating each other and it's lovely. Don't know if that's harder to find since the pandemic hit, but it's worth looking into. I know the struggle of needing clothes and wanting to experiment but not having money for that.
this is such a lifesaver cause i just got out of a really weird argument w my fam who don't get that bad mental health can not always be seen from the outside
I don't quite feel non-binary enough to post a yellow heart, but if there was the option in those choose your gender forms for "man", "woman" and a "do we have to go there again?", I'd choose the latter. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
@@ConstantChaos1 I had to go read about the term before saying anything, but I think you might be onto something. I've pretty much accepted that I'm a human being first, myself second, and the gender part is trivial most days. I think I'm somewhere around non-binary, demi-girl and an undefined oddball, and kinda cool with not knowing exactly where I fit.
@@Leena79 glad to help, honestly imo apathetic is the place to be, like if you care then you can be misgendered but apathetic people are just sitting here like try your best but you can't insult me by being a knob
There are loads of identities that eschew gender altogether (agender is the one I can think of off the top of my head) so you are definitely not alone ☺️ but no need to choose any labels at all if that feels more you.
I remember fully understanding my gender in 1st grade (age 6, for any non-Americans) I didn't know the word non-binary, but I distinctly remember thinking about where I fell between boy and girl. I am who I always have been, I just finally have the words 💛
Me, a person who was born and raised as a chick, but never quite felt ok with that, now just starting to figure out what I actually am: 🐣 "Peep Peep???"
I needed a good laugh today and these were delightful. Love the "whatever" gender bathroom sign. It's me, the enbies, the octopus, and Gonzo the Muppet in there (but not all at once because it's a single-use bathroom). 💛
THIS IS SO RELATABLE!! Especially hearing like “hello boys and girls” or “split up into groups of boys and girls” or “trans brothers and sisters” (as said in the video) Like it’s so so sad
Oh my gosh. The "Split up into groups of boys and girls" struck something in me. I remember not really knowing which one to go into as a kid because I'm AFAB, but always kinda wanted to go with the boys but also didn't feel entirely uncomfortable with the girls. In 2016 I realized I'm FtM, and in then the last couple years I've been realizing I'm also NB and it all makes sense now.
Man a bunch of coworkers and I went to a place and the lady giving the tour started by saying "already, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to go over some rules..." And now we all joke that rules don't apply to me.
IM SHOWING THIS TO MY MOM RIGHT NOW!! I LOVE YPUR CONTENT JAMIE!! i used you and you relationship to educate my mom about trans people and their relationships as well as relation to their sexualities.
The name dictionary meme really got me 😂 i chose my name Wrenn cuz its literally a bird..but with an extra N and its got a whole winded fun story behind it that i love.. 2) my mother is a Robyn and its fun to tell people we're just a happy nest of birds 💕
This man is a beacon of positivity and I love him so much. Also, as a pretty weird coincidence, just when I started doubting my gender id, and thought I might be nonbinary, he released this video. It's safe to say that if I'm more confident with myself today, it's because I discovered this chanel one month ago. Tks, Jammi. You are as cool as Dinosaurs.( I hope you read this)
I have been having increasing thoughts that I'd much rather be just me, no matter that my body presents as female outwardly. I would attempt to dress more masculine when i was younger, but felt that my bust size gave me away
damn. yet again another great video. I always find non-binary memes hilarious as it seems like the intent is to either cause confusion or chaos or both and i am all for it. 💛
All these meme videos are so validating, I’m nonbinary(any pronouns) and still figuring out my name but I feel so seen watching these, thank you for making em 💛
I'm currently at a stage in my four year long gender identity crisis where I know that my gender isn't important to me (assuming it even exists...) but I don't know whether I identify as non-binary or maybe cassgender or genderfluid or if I don't want a label at all. I like to think that I don't care how people perceive me but when I have long time "friends" who still think of me in terms of what's in my pants or only use one set of pronouns (I use all), it irks me a lot. But it's nice to know that I will always be able to relate to the non-binary memes and just have a break from the identity crisis to scroll through wholesome comments sections like these. Thanks Jamie for making the content you do!
I’m nonbinary though more masc leaning. Some have been supportive while others haven’t, especially at home and in school- but I got accepted into a form of boarding school that focuses on art and is very supportive of their queer and trans students. They celebrate pride and let you change your name and pronouns on paper- they ask you if your parents are allowed to know or not too. Though I’m not starting until after summer, I’ve met a bunch of nonbinary and trans ppl there already when we visited. I can’t wait to be able to be me at school without being judged for it.
5:47 i was exactly that friend, it was in front of other people and I'm still so sorry..it was maybe two years ago, and by now I know a lot more things, I learned a lot, including how to react in such situations. I just need to accept that I tried to be respectful back then, and I wasn't as far as I am now. I mean there wasn't a catastrophe following, I just imagine my (back then) friend felt uncomfortable.
💛💜🤍🖤 Thanks for the Enby memes, Jamie, I was feeling like a bit of a fraud as an enby after having to repeatedly misgender myself because I'm not out to my mother, and while I'm out at work it's only to colleagues not customers so I get misgendered all day long. Really love when youtubers I respect do the enby memes. Makes me feel like less of a fraud.
I am a non-binary person and I have been for a while. I’m struggling a lot with having people use my correct pronouns, just because I don’t use they/them pronouns. I really appreciate videos like these that show you don’t need to use they/them if you’re non-binary.
Hello fellow Enby!
I hope at some point you and your correct pronounces get accepted! Rooting for ya
That's really rough, know you're valid and whatever pronouns you choose to use are valid. I hope you'll be able to surround yourself with people who respect you and your pronouns, you're worthy of that basic level of respect. Actually you're worthy of much more, but starting there😉
Which pronouns do you use? Also, I'm sorry you're having a hard time getting people to respect your pronouns. I hope it gets better.
Hello, fellow Enby, I'm in a similar situation unfortunately. I hope we both find peace 🏳️🌈
The “gay in a way you can’t tell” one reminded me of a story my Aunt told me. Basically, sometime in the 70s or 80s (can’t remember when exactly) she (a cis butch lesbian) and her best friend (a cis fem gay man) went on a trip across Asia. Now, apparently on this trip they were constantly mistaken for a couple, but in her words “every type of couple. We got mistaken for a straight couple with me as the girl and him as the boy, a straight couple where I was the guy and he was the girl, a lesbian couple, a gay couple, truely every type of couple.” Nothing bad happened, besides a monkey stealing her friend’s hat, so overall a good trip with a funny story!
aww, that's so funny!
Thats the best story ever
monke do be like that in asia
The monkey didn't steal his hat because it was always the monkey's hat, her friend just had no idea at the time.
Love that!
My gender expression is literally wanting people to not be able to tell if I’m a femboy or a butch lesbian woman 💛
That's gonna be a goal
This! 💛
@@xdrakken4710 Same💛💛 I didn't know how much I wanted this until I saw it
I want people to figure out that I'm not a guy or a girl, but I want it to take some mental gymnastics to get there
@@R-R3DH34D-X_X exactly
I'm a genderfluild person, who goes by all pronouns and recently I found out two things about my very accepting mum. 1.) She decidedly refers to me only as her 'child' when talking about me to others, because she grew tired of people making a huge deal out of my gender identy, when she just wanted to share a funny story about me and 2.) She gave a friend of hers, who struggled with how to adress me the tip 'go by whatever they are wearing today and don't make a big deal out of it'. Love my mum! 💛
your mom seems a really good person >3 - fellow genderfluid person :)
Go, Mum!
I'm the same, however I only came out last year, and relatively late in life. My mother was one of the first people to whom I came out. However, she still doesn't use my new pronouns, probably due to force of habit, and that she doesn't want to out me to people I haven't told yet. I've told her it's okay, but it's going to take time. I still present as my AGAB, after all.
Mum gets it!
that's sweet :)
I’m nonbinary and when my friend was taking photography classes I’d help her out by being in photo shoots. When she presented them to her class, apparently everyone gave up trying to gender me and just called me ‘the one with the pink hair.’ It was just the MOST validating thing ever
That's awesome! :D
My pronouns are they/them and 'the one' no further questions
@Stripes I mean... did the joke fly that far over your head or were you just being mean spirited?
*THE PINK ENTITY*
Personal goals, I want to be a gender fuck and I will be, but for now I have not yet achieved it.
After reading the comments I've come to the conclusion that we need more "use any pronoun" gear. There are all sorts of pins/stickers/clothing/jewelry with preferred pronouns on them, which is wonderful. So many websites have options to specify pronouns on profiles, which is fantastic. But apparently I'm not the only one that shies away from it because "any" is never one of the options. (Okay I did see it ONE time, but it was registering for an LGBTQ+ conference...)
My daughter is 4 years old and even she understands that looking tough or pretty or muscular or whatever is totally independent of the gender a person identifies as.
Your daughter has been raised very well.
I love your daughter. She’s been brought up well, give her a treat from me.
You raised your daughter well :)
I read this wrong and read of as on, but once I got it, I was very happy for your well taught daughter.
When I was four and someone "adult" (like 15 and above) told me something, I believe them; they are the smart grown-ups, so they must be right! A lot of those things will stick, so if you teach them early on, they will usually remember it forever. Which is why if the opposite is taught, many kids grow up with homo/transphobia tyat is hard to get rid off later in life. You teaching your daughter this pretty much guarantees she'll grow up tolerant, understanding and accepting. Good on you!
Not only have non-binary genders existed for centuries but in many cultures, they are spiritually significant. It saddens me that people reject anything outside their world view, but it gives me hope that many are trying to normalize Non-Binary existence now.
I was actually called mahu before finding out I was intersex and realising I was nb
I loved the special attention I was given by our hawaiian culture teacher
it's always this "it's always been like this" oh yeah? how long is your "alwas" and where has it been like this? oh, only in europe in the past 500 to 1000 years? that's hardly representative!
@@karowolkenschaufler7659 are you on crack?
And intersex people existttt
Non-binary doesn’t exist because zero is not a spectrum.
i'm an afab nonbinary and i don't want to be amab, but i still get dysphoria, and i want to be perceived as anything other than a girl, but i dress feminine, but i feel uncomfortable calling myself femme-presenting, and i use he/they. gender is definitely not confusing 👍
"What's your gender?"
"Uh, well, its like a dark grayish pink?"
"What?"
"Exactly."
Ooh, are we twins?
I'm non-bianary, though assigned female at birth, and it took me ages to wear skirts comfortably. It felt like I was somehow giving up on my identity. Thanks for the kind words Jamie! It's nice to feel validated, even though I definitely look like a girl most of the time. 💛
I'm glad you feel like you can wear skirts more comfortably now. Wearing skirts makes you no less non-binary. You are valid.
@@unapologeticallylizzy Thank you, that means a lot. 😁
I'm amab nonbinary and present in a very masculine way myself, learning that nb people can look any way helped me figure out my identity!
I'm with you! I go mainly by she, kept my feminine name, and it was only after I realised that I was enby in my mid-late 20's that I switched to exclusively wearing skirts and dresses. I shunned them growing up because I didn't want to be "girly," and it was only once I realised why I hated that thought that I was able to accept that I could like them.
Someone I know who's AFAB non-binary didn't wear skirts at all before exploring their gender identity. Now they wear skirts often. I think, at least for them, it was not being comfortable presenting as female but not really understanding why. I'm glad you're in a place where you're comfortable wearing the clothing you want to wear.
"We had a false flag on the female front" was a line an AFAB non-binary person I know used when coming out. It has stuck with me ever since.
That is fabulous! XD
Just sent in my VA eligibility papers, and added a box marked "genderchaotic." Did the same on medical papers. Nobody has bothered me about it. 💖
Oh my god I love it 💛
The “It’s an Addams” moment cemented the fact that the Addams are so Queer Affirming and in my opinion, it’s basically a Queer Utopia.
I think it should be really spelled out for those unfamiliar with the movie: IT IS NOT A MEME! IT IS AN ACTUAL LINE!
(I just wanted to point out how wholsome the Addams are 🖤🖤🖤 )
@@Basilissa_Sunight Can confim that scene went exactlyl as shown in the images. Gomez does come in and say "It's an Addams." That is 100% legit.
My non-binary euphoria comes when people can’t tell what “gender” I am. Aka androgynous.
But just because that’s my transition goal, doesn’t mean that that’s everyone’s transition goal.
Everyone has a different idea of what man and woman is. Why can’t non binary be like that?
Thank you. I am new to having figured out that I am NB. It will take a while to figure out how to present myself. 💛💜
Yeah!! As long as I’m not recognised as masculine I don’t care but femininity makes me happiest :))
Exactly, I spent a month at a camp-ish thing and everyone there told me they couldn’t tell if I was afab or amab and the gender euphoria I got was insane. It’s really cool that everybody’s euphoria and disphoria works differently and we should be working to make people feel euphoric whatever it is for them
One time I walked into a sociology class and was asked my pronouns and my response was "oh fuck I'm too gay for that shit" turns out the other new student was a nun from Africa.... and when she was asked she considered for a moment and said "same as them"
Again they were a fucking nun
@@ConstantChaos1 😀😀😀
My gender is like a Lacroix that says it's lime flavored. On the outside, the label screams green and citrus, but ANYONE can tell you it just is carbonated water. Not a hint of zest other than the exterior. 💛
Lol
I'm a cis girl (unless I'm yet to have some kind of realisation) but I very much support burning gender roles to the ground. Gender is fluid. It is not and has never been binary. It is beautiful, and it can be whatever feels right for you. Wear whatever you want. Use whatever pronouns you feel most comfortable with. I support you.
As a cis male this made me smile.
Thank you for that.
true ally right here❤️ as a nb person seeing people like you gives me hope
I‘m a (probably) cis girl and not very feminine but on some days i 100% feel like a girl but on other days I just… don’t know anything anymore
Am I cis? Am I genderfluid? Am agender? Nonbinary? Sometimes I’m so sure that I’m a girl but sometimes the concept of gender just doesn’t make sense to me…I’m me. Why do I need to be a girl too? Isn’t „just me“ enough? Idk…
Sorry for my rambling and my bad English! It’s pretty late and english isn’t my first language
@@JustJoe10 Nonbinary person here! I don't have much experience with being cis so I can't say much about what it feels like to be a cis woman, but maybe look up the terms demigirl and girlflux? Again, labels really mean nothing at the end of the day, just do what makes you happy :)
(Also, your English was fine)
Update: that escalated quickly 😂 I'm still a girl and happy with she/her... but fae and star pronouns are cool too
If you're an agender person, the classic, "I gambled my gender away to a wizard" should work just fine
- an agender person
Hey! I know that wizard! Just in case you or someone/anyone else is worried about the gender/s you gambled away: The wizard is taking very well care of every single one of them... S'hey've got heisir own gender issues, being something kinda like pangender but a bit more complex still: S'hey basically feel more comfortable with shiemselves the more gender identities s'hey have, but s'hey're also pretty generous when it comes to giving away gender identities to those who would be happier with them than s'hey, shiemselves, are... Now, if only s'hey could get over heisir terrible gambling addiction...
Not agender, but I love this and want to use this to mean I gambled away the one I was assigned
@@yuuri9064 My headcanon for the gender gambling wizard is that s'hey are the good counterpart to J. K. Rowling.
Thanks for this important life advice!
👌
I once told my mom about the noun name thing and she thought it was weird (she is the type to be happier when the attention is not on her) and she has a job where she meets all sorts of folks, and has told me about meeting a few binary trans people, so I know it's only a matter of time before she meets a nounbinary person.
Yes, I wrote "nounbinary" on purpose.
You know, interesting thing about that person accidentally using Prince's special mark on their makeshift nonbinary flag, a common recurring theme in alot of his music and creative works (other than singing about sex) was exploring the duality of his own nature. He was born a Gemini, and always talked about how he often felt like two people living in one body. Not only did he often openly discuss his bisexual leanings, but he openly explored his own gender identity and representation. To quote a lyric from one of his biggest hits "I'm not a woman, I'm not a man/I am something that you'll never understand/But I would die for you". Just something to mull over, especially considering how often people like to glaze over that side of personality.
That's wonderful
EXACTLY!! it’s clear that even if prince didn’t identify as non-binary (publicly or otherwise), he definitely was vocal about not fitting the binary boxes and a big supporter of inclusivity. i think he’d probably be happy with people using it that way.
I didn't know any of this!!!
I’m non-binary and I came out really recently, so a couple weeks ago my friend was introducing me to some of her friends and she said “this is Hazel, they use they/she pronouns” and that was the first time I’d actually heard someone use they/them pronouns out loud for me and I’ve never been happier. Thank you so much for making videos like this, they make me so happy (and for saying that enbies can use binary pronouns because I do and I don’t hear that enough!) 💛💛
You're valid and your pronouns are valid! 💛
Hazel is a beautiful name!
the first couple of times people used they/them for me in my presence I was confused about who they were talking about because no one had actually said it out loud to me before
You are the coolest
The one and ONLY issue I have with gender neutral bathrooms is that men are gross and can't keep a bathroom clean. When people realized we had gender neutral single bathrooms at my college, lots of men started using them and the toilets and floor would have pee on them often. SIGHHHH
I wish we had gender neutral bathrooms but sometimes i forget messes like this soooo i think i MIGHT just stick with the girls restroom... I always feel like im just lying to myself when i use it though 😢
I'm nonbinary and I haven't legally changed my name yet, I just graduated from a VERY conservative university and so it was a little bit of a bummer to have my deadname called out for the graduation but I feel way worse for my mtf friend whose deadname is very gendered :/
Oh well, it'll get better from here
I'm sorry your university sucks, but congratulations on graduating and good luck with the legal name change!
@@unapologeticallylizzy agreed
You got this! I feel the name thing my name is Rainsong so everyone compliments my mother, who abused me my whole life. I can’t wait for the name change, and I’m so excited for you guys for a better future!
@@doindaworst5824 good luck with changing your name! We've got this
Quick question: how can you have a conservative university? What country are you studying in?
Just curious!
The "cant tell which way" one is so incredibly relatable lol. I'm nonbinary and bisexual and the best way i know how to explain what that means is as "double-gay": I like men in a mlm way but women in a wlw way 💛 💖💜💙
As an AMAB non binary person, I feel very happy when people acknowledge that we exist too. There's not really much support for us, especially If we are masculine in presentation, I've seen people pushed out of the community just for being AMAB, masc presenting and non-binary. I still fuss over whether I look androgynous enough, but then I realise that I wouldn't say someone isn't non binary of they aren't androgynous, so I usually prevent myself from spiralling.
I really enjoyed this video! And here's the yellow heart: 💛
so i'm AMAB non-binary but prefer to be quite femme-presenting -- when i'm at the more masc end of things, i often wonder if i'm just deluding myself and feel really fake -- it's all very odd
as jamie said, all our identities are valid
I'm afab. I like seeing masc enby representation because I fall under demi-guy. It's great seeing it. Here's a purple heart 💜
Ngl I don't like remembering I have an agab djsisisi but I'm amab and don't consider myself fem masc or androgynous
As an afab nonbinary, I never understood how you can see gender so I don’t care as much about my appearance. Although I very much do enjoy androgynous looks. Here’s a white and black heart 🤍🖤
the reason why not a lot of people support nonbinary people is because it isnt proven by science that nonbinary people exist.
Reminds me of what my Dad said when my sister was born: he was so overwhelmed that he said, 'It's a baby!'
My middle child is non-binary and I love to see the way they express themselves and the fact that they can be who the are.
Omg, im a middle child and i went up to my mom that im Non-binary XD
I'm nonbinary and Jamie's channel was one of the places I first even realised that being nonbinary was an option
Same 🥺💛
Same, he pushed me down the rabbit hole of looking into different gender identities, which made me realise I'm Agender non-binary
I recently adopted the term non-binary to describe myself after struggling with my gender and gender expression and you were a part of helping me except that part of myself. Keep doing what you do!💛
Same, I'm still in the acceptance phase but Jammi plays a very important part in this.
Can you say congratulations in this context? I want to show support but I lack proper words and don't want to be mistaken for being sarcastic. Maybe I'm just over thinking. Anyways. ✨Support!✨
Same. I found him quite by accident doing some searches and so many of these videos have helped me get more comfortable with me.
if using he/they pronouns counts as being nonbinary that clears crap up
I can't even imagine what your lived experiences must be. I learned recently about a study in the UK that revealed a huge surprising incidence of people walking around with more than 2 sex chromosomes. And we know that many animals species have more than 2 genders or only one gender. Gender expression is a breathtakingly complex display of genes, physical environment, upbringing and personality.
Jamie makes me feel like a warm and fluffy egg, good vibes all around.
My name is Pi so when people are like "is that a boy name or a girl name?" And I'm just like "It's a mathematical constant."
Also I still use the women's room at work because we don't have a gender neutral bathroom and I've cleaned both rooms and the men's room is always sticky. But when people walk in and see me in the women's room and go "am I in the right room?" I'm just like "I dunno. Where did you want to be?"
i love that
Not to be that person, but I hate math! >_< I blame my maths teachers...
Also, yeah, I feel you on the bathroom issue. I don't know what the hell it is guys are doing in there, all I know is that it cannot be what I've been doing in there whenever during my life I've identified as masc.
OH DEAR STARS. i'm using 3141592653589793 (yep, pi for short! i just love how it looks like a mishmash of digits but people sometimes recognize it) as my online nickname in some places and i appreciate you SO much
Lol I love that I'm not the only one who chooses to use the woman's restroom because it's usually cleaner! The men's room almost always has soap though so sometimes I'll use the woman's restroom then wash my hands in the men's restroom. Non-binary privilege I guess? Also, I love your "where do you want to be" response. I think I'm going to start using that.
I am a teacher and our school recently put in two gender neutral single bathrooms, but any student can use them for any reason so they're usually gross or being used so I'm still stuck using the women's restroom.
I recently realised I'm nonbinary but I often feel invalid because I usually present more feminine (I'm afab). This whole video made me so happy 💛
you're absolutely valid! 💛🫂
I have the same issue. I am also afab and often more feminine presenting. Another enby always used to tell me no matter how you present the only thing that matters is that you feel good about it and no one can tell you how you "should present". So yeah you are valid no matter how you present !! 💛💛💛
@@sweettea1193 Presenting or wearing certain clothes don't make someone NB. If so, would a woman wearing pants or a suit, or just a tomboy suddenly become a man? Or a guy wearing a skirt or dress suddenly become a woman? Gender Identity is not the same as gender presentation, though sometimes the two are correlated.
As a frequently feminine non-binary afab guy, I give you my Power Of The Glitterbeard to help you bend perception of you to a realm you are comfortable with
Same here
5:20 i totally agree!
generally it seems like lots of people still think gender and sex are synonyms, so i think if male/female referred to sex, and man/woman referred to binary genders, then it would cause less confusion
Fun fact: Jammi's videos never fail to put a smile on my face
same
The pain of when you see a cool androgynous looking person on the street and want to compliment their clothes or merch or something but your native language doesn't have any neutral pronouns and it's impossible not to use gender and you don't wanna misgender them nor offend them by asking straight up so you just end up never speaking to fellow LGBTQs at all :')
That sucks so much! My native languages aren't grammatically gendered, but two that I'm learning are!
Not ideal, but maybe saying the noun and doing a thumbs up or something might work?? Or just a translation of "Cool hair" etc., so the gender agrees with the thing you're complimenting only? And something like "That hairstyle is awesome!" shouldn't gender the person in any language I know of
Sometimes I think in terms of "folks", gentlefolks, persons.
I work in a grocery store and I always really appreciate people who approach me and just say "excuse me" or "can you help me find something?" instead of adding "sir/ma'am"
There are other ways to get people's attention, and you don't need pronouns at all. Like for you, you could say "excuse me, may I compliment you on your awesome shirt?" or something like that.
Oh yay an enby meme episode! Thanks so much Jamie, and hello any fellow enbies reading this 💛🤍💜🖤
Quote of the Day: “I just wish society would hurry up with their acceptance.”
Why did you comment thrice
@@PeacheIIe there is much to be said
It's hard to accept something that changes every 2 months.
@@anassakadik4247 can you elaborate? /gen
@@MBZ901 Many individuals that are present in my life are constantly changing their gender expression and pronouns. Needless to say, it becomes difficult to keep up with.
I am genderfluid. When I came out to my two closest friends, I was taken aback. Their response was "Yeah, we knew, we were just waiting for you to tell us 💜" and that was the first time I had ever felt so happy.
And also, my name is a mess. Sammja is something I cane up with by combining the initials of my family members and my deadname, and my second name is "Mar" which means "sea" in Spanish.
That is somehow a very cool name my friend ✨😮👍
How do you pronounce it??
Gotta love friends like that.
Sammja is such a cool name, i'm lowkey jealous
@@CouldntThinkOfaGoodUsername I don't really know how to explain it, but Mar is pronounced like "are" (as in "you are") preceeded by an m. And Sammja is "Sam" like the name, then "ja" the way it would be pronounced in January. Does that make sense?
💛
I’m an Enby, and The euphoria I get from having people have to physically walk up to me and ask If I’m a boy or girl is amazing… And I got to explain some shit to folks, most are understanding but there’s still a big chunk that aren’t…
Thank you Jammi!
I came out as Nb a few days ago and i needed some memes nwn 💛
Congrats 💜💜🤗🤗
Welcome to the expanding family, fellow breaker of binaries!!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
congrats!
-your fellow enby
As an non-androgynous enby, I love it when my correct pronouns are used. I came out in September and my partner has been so good about correcting people.
Aww, Good for you, having a good circle around you that accepts you for who you are is important and I am glad you were able to find it!
@@Red_Devil_Stew he has just told me when he was 16 and he was scouts scavenger hunt and they had to get a picture of a fish, and I worked on the supermarket fish counter at the time 😂. I would have been 21.
lol being only 14 and rly shy and with anxiety I never correct ppl. but yesterday it felt amazing when my mom used they/them for me when we were at a store. I'm only out since a couple weeks ago and whenever my mom uses my pronouns it feels great
Yissssss. Also a non-androgynous enby, and my friends have been using they/them pronouns more consistently for me recently and its wonderful 🥰
I love ur bubbly style on ur channel, it comes across as very lighthearted, but I always find myself crying watching these videos bc they're so validating. They keep me sane, before and after going out into the world.
i came out as non binary to my dad the other day and it really didn’t go well so thank you jamie for uploading this video and giving me some positivity about my gender that i really needed today :]
I'm sorry your coming out didn't go well. Just remember whatever people say, you are you and others don't get to decide your gender for you. You're amazing!
I hope you have, or meet lots of people in your life who do accept you and love you as you are. Stay strong, and know you're not alone
I've heard that parents often need time to get over themselves. Meanwhile, please accept some mama hugs.
💛🤍💜🖤
Imagine thinking labeling yourself as non-binary is even remotely close to coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. You're just slapping a label on without any sacrifice or risk and you somehow think you're brave because of it.
I love your videos! Genderfluid video someday? We truly don’t have nearly enough recognition ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
👁️👁️you genderfluid?🕳️🏃💨🤸🥳
Agreed, we need more recognition.
may u explain to me what Genderfluid means? I looked it up and didn't really understand 🙇🙏
Im genderfluid! Yes please do a genderfluid video. Idc if it’s with memes or TikToks or something else.
@ ThisIsNotACreativeName Genderfluid means your gender changes. For example yesterday I was a guy and used he/him today I’m nonbinary and would use they/he. One week I started out completely masculine and ended up completely feminine by Saturday. My gender is fluid and changes. It’s not set in stone
nonbinary/bunnygender here, a couple weeks ago i was talking to my color guard captain and she asked for my pronouns and it made me so unreasonably happy!
i've also (sort of subtly) come out to a couple of my teacher and in general ive just had more and more people use they/them for me (even though i also use a whole hoard of neopronouns, those are just hard to describe to people irl sometimes) and it makes me so unreasonably happy to see more and more people asking about it and acknowledging people!!
You've summoned a zengender gremlin from the depths of wherever we come from, hello new friend :)
a fellow xeno/neo hoarder....
@@random1380 awesome 😎
The "non-binary people don't choose names but words" one hit hard. I've been thinking about names for over a year now and I'm suddenly feeling like maybe a household object could be my namesake...
Good luck with finding a name that feels right for you!
I've been puzzling over new name possibilities too (my TH-cam handle being one of the serious contenders). Now I'm wondering what would happen if I let a random word generator come up with my name. 🤔
Ok, just did this and apparently I shall henceforth be called:
Plead. Perhaps I should have specified nouns only?
Edit: Using all the word types the generator offers, my full name is now: Plead Youth Incredible Yardgrass. Which actually isn't half bad if you do that thing where you repeat words over and over again till they lose meaning and just become random sounds.
@ Sunny Quinn I think that would work. Also we have the same name! But for some reason TH-cam won’t let me change my name to quin so I’m stuck with Skylar.
spoon
I realise how I infuriated people by being relatively non-conforming as a child AND I LOVE THAT FACT ABOUT MYSELF. 🔥
heck yeah i live to piss off conservative
Ikr it's SO fun
@@Wolli6666 maybe you need to think about it a little more often if you're gonna be a jerk
lmao, I remember a while back people had a fight over what gender i am, (on discord) and I just watched the chaos unfold.
@@artemis754 Hope you had snacks around you 😂
💛💛💛 this video simultaniously made me happy, but also sad that there are still so many unaccepting sillies out there
I'm nonbinary and I approve this message. Thank you Jammi for making me feel seen and heard!
Slow but steady journey to educate my 10-year-old brother on the lgbt community is still ongoing, and going well. Recently I taught him about non-binary, and how all my friends and I are, and all of our preferred names. I’m raising him to be accepting whether my homophobic transphobic parents like it or not
All of your friends are nonbinary? Damn. I'm nonbinary and basically friendless, and have only known a few other enbies.
@@disableddragonborn yea lmao a few of us found each other before we came out and the others pretty quickly afterwards (other ppl call our friend group the emo gays apparently)
So you and all of your friends are non-binary. That doesn't sound like a trend at all. /s 🙄
@@DarthSion6987 it's called queers finding other queer to be friends with because we don't want to deal with cishet people's bullshit
"Millennials aren't creating new gender identities they're only giving language to ones that have always existed under the burden of shame." Very well put ♥︎
I’m not non-binary but my kid is. I actually found your channel on my own, and when they saw I was watching you they got very excited.
Aww
That's too cute. 🥺💕
After being mis-gendered at school the whole day (am genderfluid.was feeling non-binary today) this was exactly what i needed after coming home
Genderfluid solidarity :>
How do they know if they’re misgendering you if it can change day to day ? (Just curious and want to know)
honestly I find so much comfort in these kind of videos about I feel so seen and validated and comforted in the search of my identity so thank you Jamie!!!! 💛
Y'know who are cool? People who use all pronouns. THE FUCKING POWER. Holy shit. Imagine having a transphobic person attempt repeatedly to misgender you, but they just fail... and they can only fail. They just can't win. They literally just can't. That shit is an insane god-level amount of power. I've nothing more than awe and amazement for those folk.
This comment made me lol. **chef's kiss**
I envy that so much, myself. I wish I could have that power.
My official pronouns at work are Any/All/None because they all apply at various points.
i appreciate the validation! although i normally am referred to as she/her sadly since my voice is feminine and they assume i'm a "tomboy"
@@bionquinn Ha!
Thanks Jamie! I cracked the egg on being non-binary in 2020 and now I'm actually starting to get out of that shell. After 30 years my own habits are my worst enemy. I picked a really cool new name (of course it's not an actual name :P), but if people ask me unexpectedly I still hear myself telling them my old one.
I'm at the point where every gendered clothing item and cosmetic make me do a double take on my gender presentation, it's a really weird time. I got super supportive friends though, so I'll be fine, but some enby memes and support from you are always much appreciated!
I did it last year at 34 (and went for a shortened version of my birth name, it was my nickname for years and I’ve always preferred it) I lived in “mens” clothes since I was a kid. My partner has been nothing but supportive and only bitches about things that were a problem before i came out (I’m terminally messy).
Ayyy! Welcome to the non-binary club 🥰 your membership card and flannel shirt will arrive in the post shortly 💛🤍💜🖤
💛💛💛 Seeing your videos was the starting point of me actually doing things to transition, even if it's not going to be in the close future (gosh darn waiting lists) but yeah, thank you so much, I really appreciate everything you do and I really liked your collaboration with mdj
I feel so good to realize that I’m non binary. It’s so liberating to reject the shackles of gender and just be who I am.
Congratulations! Glad you can feel that freedom
@Stripes there's a difference between doing what you want and being yourself tho, sure they could have generally done whatever they wanted before realising they are enby, but they were not comfortable because they weren't being themselves.
(This is just in general terms, op please correct me if I've made wrong assumptions about your experience!)
Sure, i could technically identify as a woman and still do whatever because gender doesnt impact what you can and cant do, but what is the point if it makes me actively less happy to identify that way? If i am a million times happier being a funny little dude-but-in-vibes-only-and-not-actually-a-man, why should i choose to make myself more miserable?
@Stripes you literally don't tho, believing that gender roles mean nothing and believing trans people on their identities are not exclusive to each other. The reason i don't identify as a woman isn't because i went "well women are this way and that way and I'm not like that so I'm not a woman", it's just an inherent sense of self. Someone else could totally present and behave pretty much identically to me and still be a woman, or a man, or agender. From my experience alot of people vilify afab trans people in their minds and think that we're trans because "we think we're better than you". We don't think we're better than you, we just aren't you.
Blah blah society as it stands does not allow people to simply exist without having to justify their identity and categorise themselves into one of the limited acceptable boxes so ofcourse people are identifying outside of those boxes, blah blah gender is literally made up, blah blah "afab people are often but certainly not always more feminine but what we define as feminine is the traits we decided they should have when they were treated as subhuman so it means nothing anyway because there is no way to tell if afab humans raised in a culture without genderoles would still be more feminine on average or not"
As it stands, labels are useful to get some general information about yourself across quickly and potentially in a less invasive way. It would be exhausting and uncomfrotable to explain my relationship with gender and how its all silly anyway and im just a funny little guy but not in a man way just in the way that you would perceive a pigeon doing something weird on your window sill and go "oh look at that guy!" but its generally fine to kinda talk about me like a man and i would rather strangers assume that than woman because that makes me skin crawl and kinda makes me wanna vom, but that doesnt make me a man im still uncomfortable being perceived that way to some extent because when i date women it sure as hell aint straight. Instead of all that, i can just say im enby and my pronouns are he/they and thats that. Labels just help other people get an easier idea of how you wish to be perceived, and you can choose to just....not use labels if you dont want to. Or elaborate as much or as little as you want.
Im sorry if any of this comes across as angry because thats not my intention at all (or if its uninteligable, im like half asleep responding to this ngl) , im just sick and tired of people twisting my experience simply existing into a way to put me down. "Oh you think you're fighting gender but really you're the one reinforcing it!" "Oh youve got internalised misogyny to work through you hate women so much you transitioned just because of that!!"
We are not trying to hurt anyone by existing. We are not actually hurting anyone by existing. We are doing our best in a system that wasn't made to accommodate us. We literally just want to be respected and left alone.
Damn sorry for starting a whole thing in the replies lol, and congrats on figuring out who you are! Knowing yourself well enough to realise you're non binary is a wonderful thing
I am afab nb and present mostly traditionally female, I don't think any of my friends see me as anything other than a cis woman and I often have anxiety about whether I am making it up or just want attention. videos like this and the comment section really help me reaffirm my self and how I see myself, thank you so much!
I’m the same! Well, I am lucky that I have gender-nonconforming friends around me so it’s different in that aspect, but I often struggle with thinking that my presentation affects my actual identity and perception. I’m pretty feminine but that doesn’t make me any less nb, you know? I’m genuinely sorry that your friends might just see you as a cis woman when you aren’t. But I’m sure that you’re not an attention-seeker either, because you’re overly worried you might be and that’s almost never an indication of an actual attention-seeker. Im not sure where I was going with this but … um? Afab nb feminine solidarity?
@@kaykeunil thank you kind internet stranger. Afab nb feminine solidarity indeed :D
My therapist is a femme-presenting nb person who uses masc pronouns, and few things have been as validating as this connection lol. I was telling him how I feel like a fake saying I'm nb when I'm femme and how "it doesn't bother me that people see me as a woman".... as he heard me completely feel uncomfortable saying that and HEAVY hesitation when I used the word "woman", he was like "The fact that you were uncomfortable saying that shows that you really don't feel that way and are nb" and it was SO validating. I hope you find other nbs that get you
@@secretlybees WOAH! I am so happy for you, that is amazing!! :D Your therapist sounds like a wonderful person
Echo chamber
💛Moinings, agender humanoid here. I really like the "using the dictionary to find a name" one! How did you ppl choose a name? I picked Taiga because of my love for the cold and nature.
I go by Ama online because of the sounds. I'm one of those people that perceive personality traits in letters and numbers, so to me, Ama is the most gender neutral name possible. The sound of the "m" is just the essence of neutrality to me.
I chose the name Taffeta because
1. It sounds like a candy, and
2. A fabric has a cooler name than what my parents gave me :')
I learned about non-binary about 6-7 years ago and I remember being very confused at first. I couldn't understand how you can identify as something other than female or male. So I asked on tumblr if anyone who identified as non-binary to explain it to me. I got few messaged, asked more questions and received lovely, detailed answers and after reading all of that I was like "wait a minute... that's actually... lowkey I feel about myself". For a solid while I truly tried to figure out if I was actually non-binary too.
Tbh years later I definitely identify as cis woman, BUT I gained valueable knowledge about other people. We all should be comfortable with who we are.
Edit: deleted few parts because some of yall are reaching or misreading it for no reason.
I celebrate it every time one of my friends goes on a soul seeking journey to question and explore there gender even when they come to the conclusion that they were cis all along. I remember one time I was at a NB meetup where there was a woman who had been there a few times and they were really embarrassed to admit that they had realized through her exploration that she actually cis and all of my NB friends surrounded her with love and congratulated her for exploring her gender and learning more about herself. I think everyone owes it to themself to earnestly explore their gender.
P.S. Mo I’m proud of you it takes guts to question your gender especially in the world we live in.
Every gender journey is valid and is important, I’m really glad you asked questions and explored things ☺️ I wish more folks would do that. Thanks for being an ally
@Stripes what I mean is I don't fit into gender norms.
@@sweettea1193 I literally said in my original comment I am not non-binary, dude, read with comprehension. There was a point where I thought I was by talking to non-binary people and relating to them a lot, but then I realized I wasn't. It was a simple self-discovery journey and trying to find myself, understand my gender identity. As other replies said, it is still ok to go through that and in the end realize one identifies as cis.
💛💛💛💛 Thank you for being such an amazing man, Jamie!
I did the "tomboy to wait i like girls to wait i'm not a girl" pipeline to lol. I'm a nonbinary guy (and afab) and they/he pronouns. Also, wish I was an amab enby instead of an afab enby. 💛
After struggling this week with trying explain to my brother that yes, refusing to call me they/them because you he doesn't like it is rude, and isn't supportive, these enby memes are just what I needed. Thank you Jamie
I hope he comes around
Try explaining it like this, maybe.
There is someone named Richard. One of the most common nicknames for Richard is Dick.
Richard has made it clear he hates being called Dick, but his friends insist on calling him Dick, even after it obviously makes him upset.
Are his friends actually being supportive by continuing to call him Dick?
Alternatively, if there's a nickname or pet name that someone gave him that he hates, ask him how he'd like it if you only ever referred to him by it because you don't like his name.
If it absolutely comes down to it, you could *find* one that he absolutely hates being called, and call him by it. Then when he inevitably gets mad about it, just tell him, "Well, I don't see the difference between me calling you Poopybreath Dildoworth because I don't like your name and you refusing to use the right pronouns for me because you don't like it."
@@alchemysaga3745 that's beautiful
@@alchemysaga3745 ooh I like that. I know a name he hates being called so its perfect
These videos are always so cozy. Thank you Jamie, and stay hydrated! 💛
I love your respect for everyone. You have no idea but you help me a lot and have helped me a lot in the past.
Your way of looking at things helped me a lot too with my dysphory and dealing with transphoby. (And much more things too).
I remember your reactions to illogical people and all those things that stress me out and let me felling bad and wirh that and the knowledge and respect that you demonstrate to others, it helps me to relax or go out of a bad mental state or place, thanks a lot! 😄
You helped me a lot when I was really in a dark place in my mind. I saw light and lightness in your videos and that helped me a lot and still helps a lot too.
Those videos about nonbinary people specially are helping me a lot too of lately.
In truth all your videos do but those are helping a lot recently.
Thanks a lot.
Much light and love to you and Shaaba.
💛As someone who has only within the past year come to realize my identity as a non-binary person, I am very glad you do these videos! They're informative and bring a smile to many people's faces!
I also went through the "I'm a tomboy" to "I'm fem aligned" to "I don't know what the heck I am" to "I'm all genders but none at the same time" pipeline
That’s literally insane that this was posted just now!!! I just had a conversation on a discord like 30 min ago with someone coming at me about there only being two genders scientifically.
I hadn’t even said I was an enby yet. I actually said I was pretransition AFAB. My situation surrounding gender is so complicated and painful. My view on my own gender was built on trauma that I didn’t expect this individual to hear me out on, but they did.
I came out as male as a five ish year old and was assaulted by my mother and her friends. I had chopped all my hair and was so happy to show her and she attacked me. She said I was too beautiful to be a man and she would not lose her daughter. The following years she continued abuse me until I could leave at 17.
As an adult it is difficult to completely accept being a trans man, as the thought of it is so incredibly painful for me. My spouse also prefers women, so changing my body feels unfair to them. The gender identity is a bit of a mess to be honest, haha. I go by any pronoun just accept any assumptions to avoid confrontation. In my circle I go as non-binary.
This person listened to me and seemed to be understanding! It made me feel so surprised but also grateful that someone who has a strong opinion is also someone who is willing to take in new information. It made me feel hopeful.
Thanks so much Jamie!!! Always a pleasure! 🌧🌈⛈
Sounds like we have similar backgrounds, sadly :(
I'm so sorry you've gone through all of that, and I also struggle accepting myself as a transman due to lots of abuse and trauma. Actually, I've kinda been wondering if I'm a very masculine nonbinary, but all the trauma and gaslighting and my past as one of those "all men evil" (isolation and only knowing horrible abusive men for ~2 decades. I don't think that way now thankfully) feminists makes it hard to know for sure about some things lol
I really hope your spouse is able to come around more to things (or is able to reframe/rename their attraction to you and grow with you on that front to where you're both happy and your authentic selves)
"Only 2 genders scientifically"? Ha! There aren't even "only 2 sets of genitals." 17 or of every 1000 people are intersex - i.e. have "ambiguous genitalia."
I'm so saddened to hear that you had to endure so much abuse from your parent. You did not deserve that. I hope for a better and brighter future for you.
😣 I’m really so terribly sorry you’ve gone through all that. I hope you can find a therapist to talk to who can help you make sense of things, and to put your wants and needs first-it sounds like you’ve been literally trained to NOT do that, and that can be so bad for our mental and physical health. We all need to come first sometimes (and not just in the fun x-rated sense). You deserve to be who you are, whoever that is, however you construct that, regardless of your spouse or mom or anyone else. 🌈🦄💜
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Please know that you are VALID and PERFECT and no one has the right to take that away from you! If they don't understand, it's their loss, not yours.
Hi, I am a nonbinary person who has struggled with thinking about what other people think my gender is. When you said that any person can dress how they want and that it does not affect their identity, I felt so seen! I like wearing dresses but I like wearing pants too and hearing a person tell me that that is ok is a amazing! Thank You!
Am non-binary and there are no real they/them pronounces in my language so the struggle with getting people to accept my identety here is very high (expecially my mom accepting the new pronounces)
That is tough, I’m sorry. But language is constantly evolving, and maybe new neutral pronouns will emerge that feel more gender-affirming for you ☺️ good luck from a fellow enby pal
I hope sometime Jamie does a vid on aro memes!
On another note, I'm just vibing in socially transitioned trans man and people think Im nonbinary cuz I look androgynous. I confused a whole room of people and for 2 weeks they were trying to figure out what I am
oooh that's great, I think, that sounds great but I'm not sure
I‘m a cis girl (I think) but that would make me so excited!
Imagine the chaos and confusion you could cause!
I highly recommend saying you are a fruit salad when they ask 😋
See, as an enby, that would be the BEST! XD Though I know for binary folks, especially trans people, that can be a bit painful. Hopefully it brought you amusement and not frustration! 💜
@@JustJoe10 I have so much fun being called the confusion. Atp I introduce myself that way. Sometimes it sucks cuz people insist Im a girl, but its nothing disheartening. I just own my confusion and laugh whenever someone hesitates to use pronouns for me
💛 Thanks for this video, I needed to feel a bit more light hearted about people needing labels and not feeling like I fit any where. Love your videos!
I realized a while back that I feel awful when I misgender/deadname someone and want to apologize profusely, but also I'm nonbinary and changed my name and when people do it (accidentally) to me it doesn't bother me because I know they're trying. Noticing this odd double standard of mine made me realize I should probably chill more when I accidentally use the wrong word/name for a friend.
Same tbh! It took a while for me to recognize that most people prefer if I don’t make a big deal out of accidentally misgendering someone bc while it seems that lots of apologizing shows sincerity, it’s just. Better if someone just quickly apologizes, moves on, and tries not to do it again.
I think it definitely hurts if they don't even notice it and even worse when they keep doing it without taking a second to pause. But I definitely hate when someone apologises for too long and feels like they have to reaffirm that they support me and are sorry.
Like, I appreciate the sentiment but it feels almost performative and awkward. Which is to say that I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just very difficult to move things on and it halts conversation.
I love u Jammi, you really helped me understand my identity
i love ur name!!
crime frog
@@ro_pp thank you
I am an enby and live in a homo/transphobic country with not even mom accepting my identity, but your videos make me happy every time, your positive vibe helps me get through the day. Thank you for what you're doing!💛💛💛
When I first heard the term non-binary I thought "Oh my god, that's how I feel!" as I never had the words for it growing up in the 90s. Then I watched some videos about being non-binary, where everyone used neutral pronouns and most seemed to have quite severe dysphoria and I thought "Oh, this isn't how I feel so maybe I'm not non-binary". Then I found the term Agender and I think finally I've worked it out. 🙂
For me, I've never felt any gender at all but I don't mind how other people perceive me or what they call me. There are times when I feel uncomfortable (wearing very feminine clothes or make up, being assumed to be part of a group of women) but mostly I just live my life with my non gendered brain. It's very much an internal thing for me.
It's so useful to have spaces online where lots of different experiences can be discussed and all people are accepted. ❤️
Yeah ikr it's so validating, I grew up around the same time u did and there were only transgirl/guy labels being represented, as a kid i felt so dysphoric forcing myself to be a transguy so i dont have to be a girl and i felt like my dysphoria w my female body wasn't enough, and today the representation is so much better that its ok to not be a girl or a guy and have dysphoria.
I think your experiencing is interesting because I (an agenderish person) find a LOT of agender people feel exactly the way you described, that seems to be the norm in agender spaces. Ironically enough I often feel alienated from agender spaces because I don't feel this way and am more like the nonbinary people you described prior. It does matter how people percieve me and I would prefer neutral pronouns. But I'm also not entirely like the stereotypical enby, and that can be alienating too. I think it comes down to the fact that being nonbinary is such a broad experience, it's a word that encapsulates so many different identities and I wish more people recognized this instead of treating it like a third gender with strict rules that need to be adhered to in order to gain 'legitimate' membership, in the same way they do with being a man or woman.
@@ThiCC_Yosh It's ironic that some people think gender clinics are forcing kids into transitioning when actually for people like us, they would have been so helpful to work out that we're not FtM/MtF. Just hearing that you can be non-binary and not tell everyone was so useful to me. I see it in a similar way to being autistic. There are people I haven't shared my diagnosis with but it doesn't make me any less autistic.
Hey, can you help me out with something? I've identified as agender too, for a few years now. But lately I've been wondering about it. Every article I've read about the definition of agender has listed, in a list of terms that may be used as synonyms, something along the lines of "null-gender" or "void." But that's not how I feel. I do not feel a lack of gender within myself. Rather, I feel that I wander across both genders. That, if there was a line with woman on one end and man on the other end with a mark in the middle to indicate complete lack of either masculinity or femininity (with increasing distance from the middle representing increasing masculinity or femininity), my gender would best be represented by a bubble around the middle. The bubble is not perfectly centered on the mark; it covers slightly more of the masculine side. And it is a bubble, and I wander around within that bubble, and that way of living is how my gender works. If I could have any power I wanted, I would have the power to switch between being male and female any time I want with almost no effort. My male and female forms would be nearly identical and very hard to tell apart, and I would switch between them very often, probably without always noticing that I had.
As an agender person who might have more experience with a community of agender people than I do (I have none), have you found that the word agender includes that kind of experience? In every other way, the words agender or neutrois fit me perfectly. I'm just confused about the listing of null as a synonym.
@@sarahvunkannon7336 I'm not one of those who commented earlier, but as another agender person, I think what you describe better fits the definition of _genderfluid_ than _agender._ You're feeling some degree of association with the concept of _man_ and _woman_ at different times, or at the same time to different degrees. For me, both of those concepts are purely academic; I know what society uses to define them, but I feel no belonging, identification, or recognition with either. In fact, my AFAB-secondary-sex traits cause what I finally recognized as gender dysphoria, because they "gender" my body and always have.
As someone who grew up well before most of Jamie's audience, it took me until I was in my 30s to even begin to understand my identity, and I didn't pin it down until after I was 40. I say this to remind you that while it certainly is a relief to understand these things about yourself, there's no deadline to get it right. And you're valid no matter what. 💜
I mean, even if "I'm not a man or a woman" were an entirely new concept - so what? Twenty years ago, "social media influencer" wasn't a job and now we're all up to our necks in them.
The "I'm a tomboy" -> "I like girls" -> "I'm not a girl" was 100% this enby's trip 💛🤍💜🖤
Same 💛
I was
"I don't like girly things" "I like girls" "I'm trans" "I hate everybody and am trans"
Same!! 💛♡💜🖤
im asking everywhere until i get an answer cause youtube doesnt like me if i use he/they pronouns do i count as nonbinary
@@sage-the-silly-0.0 if you identify as non binary then you count as non binary 💛🤍💜🖤
💛 tysm for the lovely video Jamie!! Definitely gonna have to use the responses to "are you a boy or a girl", they were fab! These kinds of videos are realy helpful, affirming and just really nice to see as someone going though descovering my own identity^-^
YAY, thank you Jamie! I just realized I'm a feminine presenting AFAB non-binary person who is fine with she/her as well as they/them. I'm just more comfortable with that than calling myself a woman, but I didn't realize it was an option until this video, so YAY! Thank you!
I had no idea how to leave a little yellow heart, but I just figured it out! 💛
Enby memes are so validating and I love it :)
I'm a baby enby because I only started socially transitioning in select spaces in 2020 so I'm still not really sure what my vibe is. I still dress very feminine because it's all I know and I can't justify the cost of getting neutral or masculine clothing (not in this economy). I'm getting better about not feeling so rushed to figure out what my vibe and presentation are, I'm trying to just let it happen as it happens.
One great way to try out different clothing styles is to go to thrift stores! It's where I've found the majority of my masc presenting clothing. At some places, you can find reaaalllyyy nice brand name things and niche luxuries for like 80-95% discount (ex: less than $10 for a silk blouse, and ~$3-5 for most items)
Though I admit, even $5 for a shirt has been too expensive for me, sometimes 😅
I suggest looking to see if there's any clothing exchanges in the LGBTQ+/Queer community in your area. People bring clothes they don't want anymore and you can pick from other people's unwanted clothes and nothing costs any money and it's usually a lot of trans and nb people validating each other and it's lovely. Don't know if that's harder to find since the pandemic hit, but it's worth looking into. I know the struggle of needing clothes and wanting to experiment but not having money for that.
As a trans man $5 button-ups from the thrift store are my bread and butter.
2:08 there are 3 boxes though. the man box, the woman box, and the sandbox
this is such a lifesaver cause i just got out of a really weird argument w my fam who don't get that bad mental health can not always be seen from the outside
I don't quite feel non-binary enough to post a yellow heart, but if there was the option in those choose your gender forms for "man", "woman" and a "do we have to go there again?", I'd choose the latter. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Thats gender apathy right there
That is if you're comfortable with that label
I'm intersex and nb but much more apathetic than caring so I can relate
@@ConstantChaos1 I had to go read about the term before saying anything, but I think you might be onto something. I've pretty much accepted that I'm a human being first, myself second, and the gender part is trivial most days. I think I'm somewhere around non-binary, demi-girl and an undefined oddball, and kinda cool with not knowing exactly where I fit.
@@Leena79 glad to help, honestly imo apathetic is the place to be, like if you care then you can be misgendered but apathetic people are just sitting here like try your best but you can't insult me by being a knob
There are loads of identities that eschew gender altogether (agender is the one I can think of off the top of my head) so you are definitely not alone ☺️ but no need to choose any labels at all if that feels more you.
Finally someone doing a video on the enby memes, I see so little of that!! 💛💛
I remember fully understanding my gender in 1st grade (age 6, for any non-Americans) I didn't know the word non-binary, but I distinctly remember thinking about where I fell between boy and girl.
I am who I always have been, I just finally have the words 💛
Much love for all those nonbinary peeps ❤
Thank you :)
Me, a person who was born and raised as a chick, but never quite felt ok with that, now just starting to figure out what I actually am:
🐣 "Peep Peep???"
thank you!!
I needed a good laugh today and these were delightful. Love the "whatever" gender bathroom sign. It's me, the enbies, the octopus, and Gonzo the Muppet in there (but not all at once because it's a single-use bathroom). 💛
THIS IS SO RELATABLE!!
Especially hearing like “hello boys and girls” or “split up into groups of boys and girls” or “trans brothers and sisters” (as said in the video)
Like it’s so so sad
Oh my gosh. The "Split up into groups of boys and girls" struck something in me. I remember not really knowing which one to go into as a kid because I'm AFAB, but always kinda wanted to go with the boys but also didn't feel entirely uncomfortable with the girls. In 2016 I realized I'm FtM, and in then the last couple years I've been realizing I'm also NB and it all makes sense now.
Man a bunch of coworkers and I went to a place and the lady giving the tour started by saying "already, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to go over some rules..." And now we all joke that rules don't apply to me.
IM SHOWING THIS TO MY MOM RIGHT NOW!! I LOVE YPUR CONTENT JAMIE!! i used you and you relationship to educate my mom about trans people and their relationships as well as relation to their sexualities.
The name dictionary meme really got me 😂 i chose my name Wrenn cuz its literally a bird..but with an extra N and its got a whole winded fun story behind it that i love.. 2) my mother is a Robyn and its fun to tell people we're just a happy nest of birds 💕
This man is a beacon of positivity and I love him so much.
Also, as a pretty weird coincidence, just when I started doubting my gender id, and thought I might be nonbinary, he released this video. It's safe to say that if I'm more confident with myself today, it's because I discovered this chanel one month ago.
Tks, Jammi. You are as cool as Dinosaurs.( I hope you read this)
I have been having increasing thoughts that I'd much rather be just me, no matter that my body presents as female outwardly. I would attempt to dress more masculine when i was younger, but felt that my bust size gave me away
Mood.
Also, I failed being male (couldn't enlist) but I don't want to be female either sooooo... Enby by default I guess.
damn. yet again another great video. I always find non-binary memes hilarious as it seems like the intent is to either cause confusion or chaos or both and i am all for it. 💛
The trans brothers and sisters one really hits home
All these meme videos are so validating, I’m nonbinary(any pronouns) and still figuring out my name but I feel so seen watching these, thank you for making em 💛
I'm currently at a stage in my four year long gender identity crisis where I know that my gender isn't important to me (assuming it even exists...) but I don't know whether I identify as non-binary or maybe cassgender or genderfluid or if I don't want a label at all. I like to think that I don't care how people perceive me but when I have long time "friends" who still think of me in terms of what's in my pants or only use one set of pronouns (I use all), it irks me a lot. But it's nice to know that I will always be able to relate to the non-binary memes and just have a break from the identity crisis to scroll through wholesome comments sections like these. Thanks Jamie for making the content you do!
7:40 I also like to say "I was first chair last trimester" or something that feels like it should be an answer but doesn't
💛
I’m nonbinary though more masc leaning. Some have been supportive while others haven’t, especially at home and in school- but I got accepted into a form of boarding school that focuses on art and is very supportive of their queer and trans students. They celebrate pride and let you change your name and pronouns on paper- they ask you if your parents are allowed to know or not too. Though I’m not starting until after summer, I’ve met a bunch of nonbinary and trans ppl there already when we visited. I can’t wait to be able to be me at school without being judged for it.
Im guessing it has co ed dorms?
Omg that school sounds amazing!!
@@SaviourInDistress Yup!
@@m.c.3602 sounds like a dream damn! Lucky you
5:47 i was exactly that friend, it was in front of other people and I'm still so sorry..it was maybe two years ago, and by now I know a lot more things, I learned a lot, including how to react in such situations. I just need to accept that I tried to be respectful back then, and I wasn't as far as I am now. I mean there wasn't a catastrophe following, I just imagine my (back then) friend felt uncomfortable.
💛💜🤍🖤 Thanks for the Enby memes, Jamie, I was feeling like a bit of a fraud as an enby after having to repeatedly misgender myself because I'm not out to my mother, and while I'm out at work it's only to colleagues not customers so I get misgendered all day long. Really love when youtubers I respect do the enby memes. Makes me feel like less of a fraud.