How to QUICKLY Get Over a Breakup - TWR Podcast #67

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2024
  • The end of a relationship can feel like the end of the world. Heartbreak is extremely painful and the first instinct is to try and remove that pain by any means. However, during this sensitive period, it's important to be mindful of your decisions as you heal and to help out, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some great tips for healthily processing the heartache and moving on from a relationship.
    0:00 Introduction
    2:08 Treat it like you're breaking a drug addiction
    5:40 Detox/no contact for 30 days
    12:53 Remove any reminders
    16:37 Go back to the basics of good health
    20:28 Rule of 3 or the Big 1
    26:06 Closure does not involve the other person
    34:43 Be dialectical
    40:30 Outro
    -
    ➜ Join the Newsletter: 12weekrelationships.com/
    ➜ One on One Coaching Waitlist : 12weekrelationships.com/join-...
    Connect to 12 Week Relationships:
    ➜ Subscribe on TH-cam: bit.ly/12weekrelationships
    ➜ Follow on Instagram: / 12weekrelationships
    ➜ Visit our Website: 12weekrelationships.com/
    ➜ Listen on Spotify: spoti.fi/2ZdYUZC
    ➜ Listen on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3vxdqI6
    ➜ Listen on Spreaker: bit.ly/3BfJx06
    ➜ Listen on Google Podcasts: bit.ly/3ns32Of
    Connect with Pye and Dr Hong:
    ➜ Pye Jirsa: / pyejirsa
    ➜ Dr. Glen Hong: / therealdrh

ความคิดเห็น • 848

  • @user-uk8pl2fh4c
    @user-uk8pl2fh4c 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +167

    Never in my life thought I will type this in search bar

  • @SanDmaNTheFreakTrucker
    @SanDmaNTheFreakTrucker 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    My wife walked out after 6 years. I immediately ghosted her, deleted a thousand photos, and deleted her number from my phone so I’m not even tempted to reach out. It’s the only way. If they didn’t appreciate your presence they won’t miss your loss.

  • @matthewstanley893
    @matthewstanley893 หลายเดือนก่อน +53

    20 years. We’ve been married for 15 years, but together for 20. We have a 16-year-old daughter, 12-year-old son. We had our daughter when we were both 21 years old.
    My wife asked for a divorce, four months ago . I feel like I’m on a different planet. Having kids so young, my eyes are only just now starting to open to the realization that I have no idea who I am. My identity since I was 21, and I turn 39 this Saturday, has been that of a father, and a husband. The whole concept of work on yourself is alien to me , and only now realizing that I have never done that in 20 years.
    Trying to stay hopeful that each day will provide a little more clarity.

    • @SpyOnDeck
      @SpyOnDeck หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hope things have gotten better for you, since 🙏

    • @balkee42
      @balkee42 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Im in same boat. Im 43. My gf of 14 years ended things last week. I dunno what the heck to do with myself

    • @meganoreilly895
      @meganoreilly895 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Wish you well!! ❤

    • @matthewstanley893
      @matthewstanley893 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@balkee42 one minute, one day at a time brother. Work 13 hours a day like me! The more I can distract myself mind the better. Here for ya if you need to talk.

    • @danica6884
      @danica6884 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I know the feeling and it sucks. My husband and I have been together almost 25years total and we split a couple months ago. I totally lost myself with that man

  • @dgutierrez104
    @dgutierrez104 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +109

    Day #2 in my breakup. Its hard. The worst part is the sleepless nights

    • @Otheeirony
      @Otheeirony หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Agreed…and going to work in a daze…

    • @Debby142
      @Debby142 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It's painful 😢, I understand.

    • @user-tq9to8oi2y
      @user-tq9to8oi2y 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      You ain’t lying I’m going over a week 10 year relationship

    • @balkee42
      @balkee42 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@user-tq9to8oi2y14 years here. We broke up a week ago.

    • @user-sm3qh8ww5j
      @user-sm3qh8ww5j 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Sleepless nights😭

  • @denilsonkariuki
    @denilsonkariuki 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +258

    Its been 2 months, im feeling better. I tried to reconcile but it never worked!. I deleted her contact and avoid any stalking. Time will heal me wish all you guys a quick recovery.

    • @veroh55
      @veroh55 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Same here,I'm on my day 3,starting today my 30days..hopefully to heal soon😊

    • @aldionvanhouten3480
      @aldionvanhouten3480 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Man, it's been about a month for me. It is so hard to let her go because she was there when my father passed away and then a month after that she broke up with me. I know I wasn't perfect in that relationship, but I tried. There was some things I did that was not good, but I tried my best to make her as comfortable as possible. I tried to reconcile because I was having such major separation anxiety with two of my most important people in my life leaving. But every time I reach out to her it just ends up getting worse and making each other sad because neither of us wants to blame each other for ruining the relationship. I feel like it's my fault for ruining things with always trying to push the boundaries with her, and she thinks she ruined a good relationship because she was not ready for a relationship. Neither of us want to blame one another. Then the last time I talked to her she got mad and I'm pretty sure she hates me now because of what I said that was probably needed some further explanation. But I think that trying to explain myself is only gonna make it even worse because I don't think neither of us understand each other's view point. It's so hard, and I don't want to leave things in a bad note, but I think that if I contact her one more time the damage will be even greater, so I'm just gonna leave it there. I think it's better that she views me as the bad guy instead of having her blaming herself.

    • @NguyenNguyen-oq4rx
      @NguyenNguyen-oq4rx 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@veroh55how are you feeling now? Knowing that you may never see she/he again in your life?

    • @veroh55
      @veroh55 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@NguyenNguyen-oq4rx I healed and already in another relationship

    • @beenagairola8745
      @beenagairola8745 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How are you doing?

  • @sabrinaliu66
    @sabrinaliu66 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +129

    i was doing all the wrong things the first week, then calmed down and realised how stupid i was, i am not going to give him the power to make myself miserable, he doesn't deserve my love and energy anymore.

    • @SpyOnDeck
      @SpyOnDeck หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      We've all been there. How are you doing 8 months later?

  • @mercyonuigbo9828
    @mercyonuigbo9828 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +296

    I’m hurting and this really helped me
    Thank you
    Starting my 30 days
    “ why are you chasing someone that doesn’t want you”

    • @12weekrelationships
      @12weekrelationships  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      100%. Thank you for being here!

    • @ZhivkoKabaivanov
      @ZhivkoKabaivanov 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      In my case that person wanted to be with me but I was too stubborn. Which resulted to the breakup.

    • @cjp5690
      @cjp5690 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Man……😢exactly

    • @jessieshey7950
      @jessieshey7950 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      It’s been since June for me I swear I died and came back that’s how bad the heartbreak was and we’ll it’s better now the Lord has been my guide. I got ghosted and gave soooo much 💔💔💔💔💔

    • @calamitycarl
      @calamitycarl 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      i get this point. But I can't move on, because she did want me, just something went wrong. Yes, now she doesn;t want me, but she did really like me, before i messed up, and thats why i can't forgive myself

  • @roelienvanzyl534
    @roelienvanzyl534 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +93

    The rejection part is the worse...It distroys our self-esteem on such a huge level!

    • @609STAACKS
      @609STAACKS 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Faaax I been with this girl for 9 years she came back but I wasn't ready the. When I was ready she was dealing with somebody and they vibes was not the same

    • @609STAACKS
      @609STAACKS 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I think that's what bothered me the most realizing she no longer wants me in the way she use to and the fact that she is looking at somebody else in the way she use to look at me

    • @michelleamaya8540
      @michelleamaya8540 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      😢yes going through this it hurts so bad

    • @michaelhill2933
      @michaelhill2933 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You gotta build your worth from the inside and it won't hurt as bad. Don't ever lower your worth off of someone else's rejection. I know it's hard but keep trying. U only let em hurt your self esteem if you need them. Don't ever need someone, want them in your life, but know you'll be ok if it doesn't work out

    • @jahrooof
      @jahrooof 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes. I’m going through this same thing.

  • @bissyloo
    @bissyloo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +96

    i let someone i trusted convice me
    i let someone i loved use me
    it caused me to feel worthless under-valued embarrassed ashamed than eventually ghosted
    i was there when he needed help
    i was there when he needed comfort
    i was there when he needed to end it so many times but i kept resisting it
    i was there living in a fantasy relationship thinking he was my one
    but itʻs all getting clearer now
    we were not meant to be together
    i can finally forgive myself
    i can finally let go
    i can finally move on
    i can finally b someone better …

    • @lynnewint3112
      @lynnewint3112 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm sure you can, you don't need someone who doesn't see your value cuz I'm pretty sure someone would be thankful to have you around. It's his lost and not yours so better cheer up. Someone made me an option as well without me knowing about it so I'm like if that's the case let those people have you cuz I can have someone who would see me and love me the same way I do or maybe more

    • @user-nj2ko1rq2d
      @user-nj2ko1rq2d 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Sounds just like what I went through.

    • @Divalevel
      @Divalevel 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      8 year fantasy relationship for me. He just up and ended 5 days ago bc he found a new interest. When I read ur comment it was like u were writing about my experience. The only thing is I haven't forgiven myself yet. I think that is the hardest part. I was a good, faithful, loyal woman to him something I thought men wanted. I will still be those things bc that's who I am. I guess like u said we were just not meant to be. I'm hurting so so bad. I feel totally betrayed. I hope I make it through. Tfs

    • @matthewstanley893
      @matthewstanley893 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you for sharing, I hope that things are still looking up for you. I see it’s been a couple months since you posted this.
      Your words are eerily, familiar, replace he with she.
      I’m four months into my wife, asking for a divorce after 20 years. The embarrassment is so heavy. I also feel ashamed of myself for being so blind and naïve for so long but more than anything it’s the embarrassment that I was genuinely pouring love into someone and something that was never actually there.
      Its caused me to isolate from friends and family. I’m ashamed to talk about my marriage, because when I do, it becomes painfully clear that I just accepted a long time ago an incredibly low self-worth and convinced myself that I was only good enough to be treated so shitty. No self-respect.
      Sorry for the long reply, I have a hard time talking to anyone, and this is kind of therapeutic.
      Again, I hope you’re doing better. ❤

  • @davidforrest5982
    @davidforrest5982 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    5 yrs of marriage and she left a month and a half ago. Time to focus on my self now more than ever. I’ll never break. I love you all.

  • @lucaslevonmusic
    @lucaslevonmusic หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Don’t cry over her, she never cried over you.

  • @titomunay
    @titomunay 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Man, this conversation just did me F*ing GREAT good! Wow! Everything just transformed inside of me and every time I get confused I'll come back here, even though I don't think it'll be necessary! Thank you!

  • @KimK_AllDay
    @KimK_AllDay 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    The break-up was so disrespectful, childish, and crazy. After the argument, I blocked him, and now, a week later, he's either blocked me or is ignoring my message.
    We've been together for about 13 years and have more good times than bad. I really do feel it's time to move on. My emotional needs are not met while he's constantly asking for sex and acts like a maniac whenever he thinks I'm holding back. But he struggles to buy me flowers or cards and is infamous for saying what he's going to do and never delivers. I'll be glad when I'm over this
    non-reciprocal situationship😢😭

    • @user-lw6du1zx5e
      @user-lw6du1zx5e 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same

    • @hiraknath6559
      @hiraknath6559 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My relationship for 14 years is also now on the verge of ending.. I am really depressed. But seeing your comment, makes me feel I am not alone. How are you now, friend?

    • @maryconte7140
      @maryconte7140 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@user-lw6du1zx5eSame here, 4 years, he ended it over the phone and sent my things to me via UPS. Very cold and immature.

    • @Xxx-vx1pi
      @Xxx-vx1pi 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      same. u deserve sooo much better. actions over words

  • @nicolameikle8737
    @nicolameikle8737 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +161

    This video has broken my heart 💔 It’s opened up my awareness of the addiction I have to my ex which is causing awful behaviours to feed my ‘childhood wounds of abandonment & rejection’

    • @ThisIsIt42768
      @ThisIsIt42768 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      this man exactly going through

    • @BMILBOCKER10
      @BMILBOCKER10 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me too 😢

    • @eyaalem7990
      @eyaalem7990 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same here. It’s a good opportunity to just dig ourselves. This is a getaway to creativity. It’s raw creativity.

    • @wizzler613
      @wizzler613 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same 😢

    • @alenaadamkova5322
      @alenaadamkova5322 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      People shpould go every weekend to nature, camping, or hiking or to some cottage...absorb the nature, make food outside enjoy the fresh air...
      Nature increases your mood buta lso the immune system of body by 30-40 percent.
      do it regularly, then notice how it affects the relationships. Also the kids need the nature a lot.

  • @raquizana
    @raquizana ปีที่แล้ว +199

    4 yrs.. just ended up 2 days ago. It's Fu*king hurt man. The memories and everything that I did for her.. 😢

    • @12weekrelationships
      @12weekrelationships  ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Sorry to hear. Indeed, it's painful.

    • @karolp7698
      @karolp7698 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sending love!

    • @kaoshi_kutie
      @kaoshi_kutie ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You will get the through it ❤️🤗 let yourself mourn the relationship it’s the only way to heal

    • @rotondwamphagi7668
      @rotondwamphagi7668 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dear stranger , Am sorry to hear this . Its extremely difficult to deal with this but keep going it will get better with time

    • @raquizana
      @raquizana ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@kaoshi_kutie thank you I feel better now, she's dating someone before we break up. I just accepted it as a man.

  • @missfitphamous
    @missfitphamous 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    I did the 75 day challenge to break free because its very addictive when you have been talking to someone every day for years

    • @nataliew7372
      @nataliew7372 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did you stay strong?

    • @joannamaybe
      @joannamaybe 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I feel you.. rejection from my favorite person

  • @meganoreilly895
    @meganoreilly895 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    When you share a kid you can’t completely forget them

    • @cris-yo1950
      @cris-yo1950 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thats what I fear the most. We were together for 1.5 years and have a baby daughter together. Maybe its different for me since I havent been with her for that long.

  • @lilioshka
    @lilioshka 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +173

    These two gentlemen have such soothing voices, it was a pleasure to hear them.

    • @AntwhaleNearfar
      @AntwhaleNearfar 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Unintentional ASMR.

    • @Oscar_239
      @Oscar_239 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yes puts my mind at ease

    • @Ponnybit
      @Ponnybit 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      nice eq ;)

    • @DavidFelix-zo1gr
      @DavidFelix-zo1gr 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very well

    • @KimK_AllDay
      @KimK_AllDay 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yessss... very calming, too. I'm glad I found this channel.

  • @poorgirltutorial28
    @poorgirltutorial28 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    The rejection and ghosting are the worst things to process. 😢 But this made me realize that getting closure will never work. Thank you for this. 💔

    • @jahrooof
      @jahrooof 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes, I’m going through the same thing. It hurts.

    • @JeffersonRah
      @JeffersonRah หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yup same here

    • @Ab1994ab
      @Ab1994ab 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      My sons mom and I used to bond so well even though we’ve been broken up we’ve been working on ourselves for a future with each other. And she just told me she found somebody. I feel so fuckin betrayed. I’m hurt. Idk what to do to get better , I go to sleep hoping I wake up better and first thing on my mind when I wake up is that ..

  • @testebiiidama4129
    @testebiiidama4129 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Breakups have the opposite effect on me, I don't eat nonstop. I practically gain automatic anorexia. I can't eat and the little I can eat makes me feel like throwing up. It would be good to have more tips for those who can't maintain zero contact, because work in the same place, have children, etc.

    • @BlueToxiiC
      @BlueToxiiC 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      she broke up yesterday and i just cant eat i have the same problem as u

    • @intika8015
      @intika8015 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I understand same happen to me this time I had last 5 kg food didn’t had taste and I want it to throw it out, now I’m at list eating . And sometimes food tastes really good !!! Keep going watch a lot of videos, does help :)

    • @BlueToxiiC
      @BlueToxiiC 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@intika8015 im afraid of bingin, but when im thinking of the memories we had my hunger goes away

    • @sandcrushlove
      @sandcrushlove 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I'm in so much pain I can't eat at all. Just lost my appetite completely but trying to drink coffee (with milk) and eat cheese. It's all I can bring my self to eat and drink right now just to have something in my stomach so it's not swirling with acid.

    • @vanessagarcia5043
      @vanessagarcia5043 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      I been through 4 hurtful break ups in my life. Im actually going through a breakup right now that ended 2 days ago. Just know you will hurt through this time. It’s okay to hurt & and cry. It’s okay to not be able to eat. It’s okay to not be okay. You need to go through the process of being heart broken. It’s a process! One minute you will be fine, the next minute you will be in tears. You’re still in the addictive state & it’s hard. But keep working on yourself. This is my third time watching this video & it keeps making sense each time I watch it. Keep working yourself. Trust me. Keep putting yourself first & revisit this video in a couple of weeks or maybe even months, and it it will make sense

  • @roelienvanzyl534
    @roelienvanzyl534 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    The break up is one thing, them moving on with someone else is on another level.

    • @609STAACKS
      @609STAACKS 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That's the stage I'm going threw now

    • @jason2723
      @jason2723 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same

    • @jahrooof
      @jahrooof 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yeah, good for them. Shows the type of person he or she is.

    • @Dfree4000
      @Dfree4000 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So I'm not the only person that feels that. Worse part is the kid is too young too know bringing them up feels bad smh...

    • @yaseengaffoor
      @yaseengaffoor 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      They were never yours, it was only your turn.

  • @Pffffffffffffffffffffff
    @Pffffffffffffffffffffff 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    About point number 4: After too many dissatisfying flings and dates and a couple heartbreaks, I started running, and man I ran a sub-3h40 marathon and I'm 44, my confidence is better than ever before, I'm having better quality dates, I set myself goals for the fun of it (qualify for Boston is now one of them), and the best part is I am now part of a community of active and healthy people... with a lot of single beautiful women!

  • @pomup107
    @pomup107 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    I listen to this vid trying to sleep every night. You guys cannot imagine how much you have helped me in this period. Thank you so so much!!!

  • @matteoescana4338
    @matteoescana4338 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    My gf break my heart after being together for 9 years. She woke up one day saying that she is not happy anymore. The only thing that will make the things better is time, time is the only medicine and eventually you’ll find someone who truly love you. We broke up 10 days ago and sometimes I’ve seen here in places and she looks happy and I just don’t understand how can she moved on just like that but that’s life. My suggestion is to carry on doing what you do, work, gym etc etc and time will make it better🙏

    • @youllneverguesswho886
      @youllneverguesswho886 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @matteoescana4338 I’m sorry for what you’re going though. I feel your pain also, my 9 near relationship ended around 2 weeks ago and the heartache is horrible. But I’m not crying as much now and trying to focus on myself. I hope you’re able to do the same and we both find our happiness again one day 🤞🏼

  • @Letsgetit138
    @Letsgetit138 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    This is by far the best video I’ve seen over getting over a break up on TH-cam. This one really moved me

  • @thaigirlinhouston878
    @thaigirlinhouston878 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Today is my day 2 it’s hard I miss him … 😢but I know time will heal me …. Pray for everyone for recovery fast

  • @anabalraj410
    @anabalraj410 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +62

    So true - 'why chase somebody who doesn't want you?' Too many of us try to hold on to that thing that we know and too afraid to leave it alone, even though we know it's not good for us anymore... Thanks for sharing this video...

  • @ravdoss
    @ravdoss ปีที่แล้ว +83

    "Everything that was once good is now bad" 36:15
    My ex described our relationship of 20 years this way after deciding for divorce. She said the "only good thing" from our time together was our son. It was impossible to even grasp and she repeated it to relatives and I assume her friends. For every good thing I could cite she'd say she could come up with two bad things. It felt as though she had to cast the entirety of our relationship as one giant hellscape in order to justify destroying it.

    • @RichRobinson
      @RichRobinson ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That’s rough.
      I’ve experienced a similar kind of scenario - suddenly branded as the bad guy who “can’t be trusted” just so she could justify getting me out of the picture and give her new relationship the best chance of survival. She knew I’d done absolutely nothing wrong. I think it’s the only way she felt she could handle the situation to move on with him. It didn’t have to go down like that. I felt betrayed and unfairly punished for someone else’s weakness.
      Their relationship was on and off. She tried to reach out during one of their breaks but I didn’t take the bait. He hung himself 2 years later.
      I guess it’s fair to say it didn’t work out for them. 😂

    • @sloanmagnum5009
      @sloanmagnum5009 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      She sounds like she was miserable the whole time. We only have your side of the story and shes not here to defend her position on the matter. If she went as far as to make sure you knew how unhappy she was then theres a reason from her perspective. Whether or not you were or were not the bad guy, she felt how she felt in the end. Where there not signs earlier in the relationship that hinted at her unhappiness? There had to have been.

    • @testebiiidama4129
      @testebiiidama4129 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I feel you, man. My ex husband started talking like that in the beginning when we broke up, and added that I disgraced his life, that he was an idiot for starting the relationship and insisting so much on it, etc. But now he's calmed down, good years have passed and he's still my best friend. Sometimes it's just the way he/she processes the pain, breakups are painful even for those who choose to break up. Lucky for me, as his wife I was already used to these outbursts of uncontrolled emotions and excessive anger over small things (in fact that was one of the reasons I thought it best to break up) I managed to deal reasonably well with all the hatred he distilled at first, since at least that was a good reason for him to react like that.

    • @edt8535
      @edt8535 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      She did that reframing thing to make herself feel better and to justify her own actions in her mind. Period.

    • @ravdoss
      @ravdoss ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@sloanmagnum5009 Every relationship has its ups and downs, no? And yes, you only have "my side" of the story and even in that you've only but the briefest glimpse of what I chose to speak about in reference to this video. The question of signs is an odd one because as I said... every relationship has its ups and downs, did I think there was anything glaring or relationship destroying? No but here's the kicker ...she admitted on her blog to having lied to me, her family and friends how she felt about things FOR YEARS, so there's that. There were times where I had asked if things were all right between us only to be told that all was fine and asked why I thought otherwise, those were lies she chose to tell versus the truth that could've led to things being worked on. You can ask all the right questions but if your partner will look you dead in the eye and lie then put it back on you like it's all in your head... what do you do? Call them a liar? Once she decided to be done she was a torrential downpour of truths she'd been keeping all to herself.

  • @fredkhan3657
    @fredkhan3657 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This was great , the last segment about just manufacturing hate / anger .
    11 years of 90% great relationship forgotten over 10% not that bad :/
    Thank you guys .

  • @SocialwithRocki
    @SocialwithRocki ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Can I just say I just got ghosted after 2 years and was devastated until listening to you guys. The humor alone has cheered me up … these are great steps thank you

    • @SocialwithRocki
      @SocialwithRocki ปีที่แล้ว +2

      30:36 😂😂😂😂

    • @gingerqueen820
      @gingerqueen820 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How are you feeling now? Hope you are ok friend.

    • @SocialwithRocki
      @SocialwithRocki 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@gingerqueen820 we are back together and doing amazing 🤩 I put my foot down and realized that I was part of the problem, ghosting was his reaction to avoid conflict

    • @KATKATT-on3gk
      @KATKATT-on3gk 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ghosted after 16 yrs. Ugh

    • @SocialwithRocki
      @SocialwithRocki 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@KATKATT-on3gk wow I’m so sorry about that

  • @alexgolubski
    @alexgolubski 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I know I’m basically addicted to him. He broke up with me yesterday. It the difference is I know why he wants to break up. It’s harder for me bc like it’s if you love them let them go. I need to clean myself up and grow from this but I’m like a plant without sunlight. That’s how I feel. His smile would light my world. I need to find a new light and it has to be MY happiness. This time around I have to be for me.

    • @monicaitambu9176
      @monicaitambu9176 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      How do you feel now please ,

  • @nofofakafeaot
    @nofofakafeaot 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This really cleared up everything for me and I’m so glad I came across this, just by watching your video I feel so much better already. Thank you both very much.

  • @claudiaweier1153
    @claudiaweier1153 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Hank you for sharing your insight. Truly appreciate your honesty and open hearts to share what will save my life. I'm at the bottom of the put. but trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Thank you both.❤

  • @bleu7468
    @bleu7468 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I am so thankful I stumbled onto this, going through the mourning phase still and everything that was mentioned on this episode really resonated. I need to work on being dialectical, this is whats making me hold onto this toxicity.

  • @danettecook2709
    @danettecook2709 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I love how calming both of your voices are. This really helps when people are hurting. Thank you.

  • @functionalhealthdetective
    @functionalhealthdetective 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you so much for the eye opening perspective, especially the "role play" part about "closure" - almost exactly as if it played out in real life. It made me realize how stupid I was being in my approach. Its makes so much sense from that perspective- almost as if I am causing myself more pain in my desire to fix things and get "closure" This is litterally one of the best breakup videos I have seen in the last several months (and i have watched 100's of them from all different channels). This show really hit home. First time seeing your channel, it popped up on my feed and I am forever grateful!

  • @hollisterchik90
    @hollisterchik90 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is awesome. Really loved the podcast. Going through a toxic breakup. Really happy to see things like this for help.

  • @jordanwatson9114
    @jordanwatson9114 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Never thought I’d ever have to watch anything like this, I felt stupid even typing it into the search bar. I’m so glad I did though because after the first 25 minutes of watching has helped me so much, it really helped me feel not so broken. Youse are saving people from themselves and I thank you both very much.

  • @Eva22275
    @Eva22275 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This video helped me more than anything else has so far. Putting it in terms of an addiction and some of the things you both said and even the compassionate way you talked about it, really helps. Putting it in terms of getting a fix helped me see things clearer and I dont want to put myself through any more pain than I've already been dragged through. So thankful I came across this, thank you

  • @stillying
    @stillying 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Thanks, this is really helpful. I am coping with a breakup now. Even I know it’s the right thing to do, I know I want to leave, but I am still in pain and want to get a closure from the other person. I have listened to some other podcasts, I am glad you guys are talking about dealing with it like dealing with addiction. That’s exactly what I was feeling. I was addicted to that person. Even I knew the relationship wasn’t great anymore. I was still hanging on there because it’s more painful to cut the addiction.

  • @gglin5595
    @gglin5595 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    You are right . Why do we chase someone who doesn't want us...

  • @Aquaelle6
    @Aquaelle6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    4 years living together and have "broken up" countless times. This video gives me hope in my future self and it's exactly what I needed to hear!Thanks guys.

  • @Lilo56555
    @Lilo56555 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

    I think this episode was really eye opening for me personally because of what I am going through right now. Very good talk, I enjoyed every second of it, and I might even replay it in the future for sure. All the best.

  • @jonasg1150
    @jonasg1150 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    This is a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️settled breakdown. So clearly outlined on how to make a smooth transition while healing. I'm currently in the detox phase. Blocks, bounderies, and uninstall social accounts.
    Great🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @indigodp7
      @indigodp7 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We got this 🙏 .. wish you the best 🙏

  • @hamhi98
    @hamhi98 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This video is extremely helpful and absolutely packed with great analysis of how to handle a breakup

  • @Ob26786
    @Ob26786 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Amazing way to tackle this subject, thank you!!!

  • @xdvriuss
    @xdvriuss 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    “You are your own closure” thank you.

  • @xiamaem3526
    @xiamaem3526 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’ve listened and watched this 5x now. The advices are very helpful!

  • @AudioNumeric
    @AudioNumeric ปีที่แล้ว +13

    The key is Forgiveness…. Let Go

  • @trevoraugustus2249
    @trevoraugustus2249 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Breaking the drug addiction is super tough with co-parenting of little kids. So much back and forth is necessary, it really adds a layer of will power needed.

    • @user-ui5fi6rp9m
      @user-ui5fi6rp9m ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are absolutely right, but like you said, with co-parenting of kids, breaking the addiction will absolutely be necessary.

    • @jeaninekane653
      @jeaninekane653 ปีที่แล้ว

      Text him on WhatsApp for help 👆👆👆

    • @JM-cp6ei
      @JM-cp6ei 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Look into “parallel parenting” if u are still struggling with this. At first, it takes adjustment but I’ve seen parents become amicable within months of implementing after years of co-parenting breakup torment.

  • @matts6595
    @matts6595 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Of all the breakup videos on here, this one has been the most helpful and real by far. The role playing was triggering over how real it was to receive those sorts of responses not only in seeking closure, but any sort of outreach can potentially lead to that back and forth. The addiction aspect is so helpful in that it reframes the situation into more logical terms and not an emotional mess. This video is amazing. I hope you have more similar ones.

  • @davidionepearl4244
    @davidionepearl4244 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This was a wonderful find at the perfect time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  • @slin1199
    @slin1199 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I love the closure examples. It gives me a better idea of what could happened and really stopped me reaching out to him

  • @victoriaswift193
    @victoriaswift193 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This is one of the best podcasts I’ve ever heard. I needed this so much.

  • @dominikagibalova6356
    @dominikagibalova6356 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I reeeally enjoyed this Konversation. Very helpful. I love this sense of humor a lot. You guys are high classss.

  • @kathleenblair7278
    @kathleenblair7278 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I decided to break things off with a man that was looking for casual sex only. I am a recovering alcoholic and the break up made me want to drink. I am going to go forward regardless of how much it hurts. To drink would take me back drinking and being a piece of meat between the sheets.

    • @palapalak.8907
      @palapalak.8907 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I can so relate. It's so painful.

    • @edt8535
      @edt8535 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Someone who wants casual sex only is only worried about himself and he does not respect you, at least not like he should. I’m a man and I have certainly wanted casual sex from women before…but I have stopped doing that. Trust me, if that’s what the guy is after, it won’t likely change. I’m sorry, but that’s the painful truth.

    • @eringrey9297
      @eringrey9297 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      2 months later. How are you?

  • @specialkdubs5800
    @specialkdubs5800 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I've watched a lot of these videos in the past week. This was by far the most constructive. Thank you guys.

  • @abdulrahmanfathey2280
    @abdulrahmanfathey2280 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s been a while and I’m looking for something to soothe my pain and this is the podcast that changed everything and helped me to go sleep, the way y’all talk and the quiet background is super dope

  • @mariag7879
    @mariag7879 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Awesome. So raw, real and insightful

  • @mizeria777
    @mizeria777 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really appreciate your podcast and your way of talking and voice levels on here because it’s really soothing and calming. A lot of people on TH-cam doing this similar podcast have this kind of energy that I don’t even vibe with when I’m in the middle of Break up That really doesn’t feel empathic.
    Also, I wish I should’ve watched you guys the day of my break up because I’ve already sabotaged it by reaching out to him three times in the seven weeks of gap since the break up of me and my ex

    • @patgraham4622
      @patgraham4622 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sending you hugs. Wish I too had seen this video earlier. I was rejected twice, this hit home " why are you chasing someone who doesnt want you" I am in therapy and working on myself.

  • @csolo3057
    @csolo3057 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This opened my mind up so much and I felt like you guys were calling me out on my s**t. Literally had me put everything in perspective and show me the error of my ways in my relationships. Especially the part on closure. Thanks guys

  • @jaybee5794
    @jaybee5794 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I'm going after someone that doesn't value me, to prove to him that I'm of value... Ugh

  • @humblecoolkid5707
    @humblecoolkid5707 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    its realy helpful. i had an heartbreak and i just needed to listen to this

  • @JM-cp6ei
    @JM-cp6ei 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wow, this episode was so helpful and well done. It makes so much sense. Some of these concepts I’ve never heard before, but when u treat it like an addiction, what it really is similar to, it allows u to think of it from a 3rd party perspective which is really challenging to do when ur in the thick of it. great strategy in keeping with the willpower to find what everyone deserves: a healthier relationship with yourself And eventually a healthy partner.

  • @L8-APEX
    @L8-APEX 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    This helped put things in perspective for me. It still hurts, a lot. But at least now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.

    • @L8-APEX
      @L8-APEX 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      2 months later, I haven't spoken to her since the night we broke up. She got a new, MUCH older boyfriend (20yr gap) which also helped me because I now see her as desperate and pathetic. Finding that out also gave me a good laugh. I'm slowly getting back into the dating world and have began talking to a new girl. Cold turkey worked very well however she's still my first thought in the morning and last thought at night. I think that will change too as more time passes

    • @kankercutie
      @kankercutie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@L8-APEXupdate?

    • @L8-APEX
      @L8-APEX 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @kankercutie The girl I was heartbroken from ended up marrying the old dude (most likely for financial security) after dating/knowing him for a little over 2 months 😂😂 I can see now that I was also being used and could care less about her now although I still miss her kids that I became very close with. Wasn't even allowed to tell them goodbye or explain the situation. I hope they know I didn't abandon them. The new girl I mentioned im no longer dating either. She was extremely selfish and two-faced. I'm back to being single now and am content. It's amazing what some time and perspective will do for pain. I am very lonely but at least I'm off the emotional rollercoaster. I dont think I'm cut out for what dating had become today. I wanted kids & a family but at age 34 the chance of that is dwindling each year. I guess not everyone meets their someone and I've come to terms with that now.
      The main thing I can say is give yourself time before you do anything drastic like I almost did. Things will get easier. You can be the perfect partner to someone and they'll still leave you. That's on them, not you.

    • @kankercutie
      @kankercutie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@L8-APEX oh omg ...

  • @robsherar3159
    @robsherar3159 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Best video on this particular topic I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot). Game changer guys, well done 👍🏼

  • @chrisjames1866
    @chrisjames1866 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Incredibly helpful and insightful
    Thanks guys & I’ll have a listen to more
    Letting go is complex & in my experience painful but the lessons through this lens of pain are providing me with a self awareness that was hidden whilst in the relationship and I truly don’t think I could have done the kind of work I’ve been able to do without being this vulnerable
    Anyway thanks again for the balanced view point it’s helped the tape stop whirring

  • @cirrus393
    @cirrus393 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I absolutely love the somehow very laid back but very tough love approach to your deliveries. This was seriously helpful, thanks

  • @jaimealatorre2115
    @jaimealatorre2115 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This was such clear and great advice! Thank you so much

  • @Rankutubuki88
    @Rankutubuki88 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I used to make fun of those people, that are crying because of the breakup. I was thinking that, its just a gurl or a guy! There are lots of people out there!….. until…. It happened to me for the first time 6 months ago. At the age of 37😭😫. I was really over the top “not myself”. I just can’t go back to myself, i was depressed and cant let go of the fact.

  • @HH-gv8mx
    @HH-gv8mx 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Out of all of the relationship TH-cam videos, THIS ONE was the most helpful. It made sense.

  • @barbarauptain
    @barbarauptain 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I am going through a divorce from an 8 year marriage, this was so helpful as we have tried to get back together 2 times in the last 3 months we have been separated and it definitely has set me back on my healing journey, I am now back on track to healing... What I really liked about this video was the examples you gave, well done, Gentlemen! Thank you, keep up the good work!

  • @msdarlingdanielle
    @msdarlingdanielle 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate this information. I’m hoping to apply all of this to my life. I want to avoid my future being negatively affected by this current situation. Thank you.

  • @anthonyvargasjr1602
    @anthonyvargasjr1602 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wow I really needed this video after a year of going back and forth every two weeks the walking on eggshells and her bipolar Behavior, i cant dobit anymore! I never thought I'd have to block someone but for my sanity im blocking her crazy ass. Day 1 the healing starts now. Great video ty!

  • @seanarchie621
    @seanarchie621 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Awesome conversation Thankyou for making this content. Helps me put everything I’m going through into perspective. I’m not the only one going through this.

  • @oliviaduarte7056
    @oliviaduarte7056 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Ty for the podcast. It was extremely helpful. Started my 30 days yesterday.

    • @user-bi2xh4un3m
      @user-bi2xh4un3m ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How is it going

    • @leahcarandang9592
      @leahcarandang9592 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My second week a lot better :)

    • @michellecastro1696
      @michellecastro1696 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      how are you? im on my day 2. feels like my heart is literally broken

    • @nserasera
      @nserasera 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did you reach out in the beginning? I did contact after 10 days and now I feel like I messed up. But I just started it again and will continue. I guess relapse is apart of recovery but I’m committed and feel stronger like I can, partially bc reaching out didn’t change much…

  • @yahnazoe3618
    @yahnazoe3618 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This podcast was incredibly helpful during a very difficult breakup. 30 day detox program is going to make this healing time different and more healthy then any other. Thank you.

    • @yahnazoe3618
      @yahnazoe3618 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And the thing about if there is something there now it will still be there in 30 days because we are trying to be friends like we were before. But the 30 day thing takes the pressure off and allows me to grieve the loss of lover..

    • @isaacwilliams7217
      @isaacwilliams7217 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      how is it going now?

    • @scarletsletter4466
      @scarletsletter4466 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Don’t try to be friends, unless you were close friends for many years before you dated, or it wasn’t a longterm serious relationship. It’s just not usually worthwhile to be friends with exes

    • @kankercutie
      @kankercutie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@yahnazoe3618update

  • @user-vx9st9lj3s
    @user-vx9st9lj3s 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yep much needed relationship talk. Absorbing and helpful! God Bless!

  • @kathywhitner2049
    @kathywhitner2049 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thanks you guys ❤ I just ended a three yr relationship.
    I knew in my 💜 he wasn't the "one" as much as I wanted him to be. Hes a great person and brought a lot to the table. He was everything I wanted but the one thing I needed... I came to the realization and we ended it. It's still fresh and I saw him today briefly and it set me back again. Just wishing I had a cold ❤ and no feelings or emotions! Ugh
    But thanks for your candid and mildly entertaining pod cast... I just have more work to do on myself ❤

    • @scarletsletter4466
      @scarletsletter4466 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same. Almost exactly.

    • @margaretsprague9465
      @margaretsprague9465 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Going through it...haven't done it yet...sadly still hanging on😢

    • @gillounet4766
      @gillounet4766 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      3 years to realize he wasn't enough for you ? Wow.

    • @leahcarandang9592
      @leahcarandang9592 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      On the same boat, 3 years he ended via phone call. It hurts but we will heal eventually.

  • @walterayala7590
    @walterayala7590 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank God I found this I needed this so badly

  • @merlieradin3060
    @merlieradin3060 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m glad to hear this advice ❤

  • @jessicalynnagain
    @jessicalynnagain หลายเดือนก่อน

    I definitely needed to hear all of this. Thank you so much❤

  • @lteller4445
    @lteller4445 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great information!! Thank you for this information made it so much easier on me

  • @MS-ns4ki
    @MS-ns4ki ปีที่แล้ว +6

    When someone ruthlessly left me .. I never chased him nor anyone else .
    That’s why I snip snip.. bc I already know what this is all about.

  • @nflyss3805
    @nflyss3805 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, I love the way your guy demonstrates closure

  • @kritikan35
    @kritikan35 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I am on the 30days challenge since yesterday ❤would love to come back and leave a comment on the successful complete

  • @EuniceGraceShoplinks
    @EuniceGraceShoplinks 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have learned so many things from this podcast. Thank you.

  • @nicholasbrajkovic1710
    @nicholasbrajkovic1710 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is phenomenal. You guys are great, thank

  • @lisastanek6954
    @lisastanek6954 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Really needed this today, Thank You!

  • @AudioNumeric
    @AudioNumeric ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Wow. This dialogue is an exact replica of my on relationship with my separated wife of almost 2 years. I am the empath, my wife is the abuser, the manipulator... the goggles have woken me up to her abuse and I am done. I wish her the best!

    • @L8-APEX
      @L8-APEX 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I'm an empath as well. It seems to have been more of a curse than a blessing. I'd pick up on a problem long before my ex was ready to admit there was one. She gaslit and manipulated me constantly. We broke up over something trivial and it could've easily been fixed. I'm now realizing that if it wouldn't have been that thing it would've been something else. If they really loved you the way you loved them, they would've stayed and would've made it work. Period. You're better off for it in the long run.

  • @myaalberto2959
    @myaalberto2959 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is sooooo deep & on point!!!!

  • @Travel-withnjugunas1624.
    @Travel-withnjugunas1624. 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am going through a hard time from a break up i am grateful to hear from you guys

  • @lashuncruz
    @lashuncruz หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you two for this. It has helped me out so much.

  • @Haise8
    @Haise8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much
    This was GREAT and timely as I'm going through a break up.
    Thank you again

  • @Onecallconsultants
    @Onecallconsultants หลายเดือนก่อน

    This podcast is so good. Helped me loads

  • @bettyyairo2073
    @bettyyairo2073 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It’s not easy to put away all the things that remind you of him cause my son is a copy of his dad. I enjoyed watching this, thanks 🙏

  • @ChrisJCole
    @ChrisJCole 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This video was so incredibly helpful.

  • @mayureshgadekar2860
    @mayureshgadekar2860 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for this.. these were the exact things which I wanted to hear

  • @charlenewuerch3608
    @charlenewuerch3608 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Good stuff this really added the most valuable concept on closure .. thanks

  • @Angel-8
    @Angel-8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you so much. Incredibly helpful.

    • @user-ui5fi6rp9m
      @user-ui5fi6rp9m ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for your support and kind words!