Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed this topic and episode, please click the "like" button and subscribe to our channel here on TH-cam. Thank you for your interest in science! -- Andrew
Andrew sir, we need a vid where you talk abt feeling so little looking to the upcoming years you've got to live and not doing enough, like you never feel like doing enough if you want to
There is a beautiful quote from Rumi that has helped me tremendously on my journey of self-awareness, and it always comes to mind when I approach love: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." I still use it as a mantra sometimes, and each time, I gain a deeper understanding of its meaning. I thought I’d share it. Your guest was terrific!
I think it is so important to show each other love. I know this is a bit off-topic but my boyfriend didn’t have a birthday or anything, but I found out that most men only get flowers at their funeral. That struck me. I decided to get him a lower bouquet that you put together like lego (because real flowers might not have thrilled him haha), and he was SO touched! We spent the evening building it together, and it turned into the sweetest date night. Still so happy about it!
That’s adorable! I just got one for my boyfriend too and I’m so excited to have a lovely date night together with him! In case someone is wondering, I found it through a quick look online. It is called: His First Flower Lego Style Bouquet
Show love but try to genuinely find out what your partner would love to receive as a gift. Is he genuinely crazy about flowers? Most women never get a tool kit as a gift, doesn't mean i should give her one. Let's not project our wishes in the gifts we make
*"And so you find, that in many relationships you have one person who is afraid of losing the other, and one person who is afraid of losing themselves"* Two of my favorite speakers on the same podcast. Thousands of hours in psychotherapy can be avoided and even more relationships can be saved by understanding the above quote.
Not sure to what extent understanding the quote will help, for understanding, while not being able to talk with eachother about difficulties, I doubt will be enough. I've heard it so many times now, from people reflecting on their divorce/breakup: how it would not have happened had they talked through their stuff. With eachother. And not with people outside the marriage/relationship.
are you for real? haven't you seen the article about how he mistreats women and lie to them for sex? thats gross behavior and very ironical to see this particular topic for him to lecture us about
@@44yyBBaakkyou’re the polarization they were talking about in the podcast. You believe everything you read in tabloids? This entire podcast is about how there are different sides to the story, about how we experience different realities and narratives. I don’t claim to know whether the tabloids are true are not but I have seen other stories of men’s careers absolutely demolished because a woman saw a man with a successful career and used that to spin narratives and gain money or popularity. I’ve also seen men use and abuse power. And I’ve seen vice versa. Either way, you don’t know the truth.
OMG!!!!! Andrew and Esther!!!! Two of my favourite people ever in the same room !!!talking!!! and we get to see this!!!!!!! Dang!!!!!! What a time to be alive!!!! I am soooooo looking forward to listen to this!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I have long been a fan of Esther and I believe she has surgical precision when it comes to getting to the heart of the matter -- and she does it with such skill and compassion that it hurts less than couples often imagine. Her tailor metaphor makes perfect sense and I love that she views herself that way.
Martha Beck…and Esther Perel!!!…I’m beyond thrilled and excited to see this new wave of excellence being highlighted. Seeing THIS podcast appear today is quite the gift. THANK YOU Dr. Huberman and the Huberman Lab for introducing the world to these relational/interpersonal giants. God knows the world needs the wisdoms you continue share/introduce. ❤
It’s truly remarkable seeing how these two people in top of their fields still so enthused in learning from each other. No ego whatsoever, just science and empathy. Truly amazing!
I wasn't 20mins in to the video and I think I fell in love with this woman. Her mind is fabulous! I truly hope to be this intelligent, dynamic, and stunning inside and out at that age. 🥰
In my 48 years.. This is the most profound conversation that I’ve listened to… seriously. I had a dozen responses…and my mind was blown over and over. OMG this was… pivotal. Thank you so much for educating and connecting. OMG. Than you for your time… I can’t express my thoughts & feelings enough… All of this ❤
This video was perhaps one of the most profound and transformative pieces of content I have ever consumed. I am just over a month out of a relationship that ended abruptly, and the ability to apply almost all of these topics to my personal situation and relationship is astounding. This video has shattered what I thought I understood about myself, my actions, and those of my partner throughout the relationship. Thank you for this, Andrew, and thank you Esther. This video has legitimately created a pivot point in my life and has given me the framework and knowledge to better care for partners and myself in future relationships.
Can you share what you’ve learned? What of the video applies and is true to your experiences? Would love to learn from you as well… best of luck! Glad to hear you’ve found so much value in this too :)
10:29 Esther Perel is so beautiful, with such a special energy around her. Her voice is captivating-I could listen to her talk forever. Loving this episode!
I'm in a relationship with a younger man.... I'm 47 he is 35, It's been fantastic. We both are adventurous, active, free spirited and passionate. We are best friends. The ebb and flow between us is like a dance. Living in the moment. I definitely receive judgement from others being the older partner, but I let it roll off my back. Sure, the age difference may become an issue some day, but we chose to jump in and give it our all. I'm very happy about our ability to work and talk through our issues. We hear and respect each other and recognize our personal attributes and flaws. When we fall we get back up.
I'm 34 woman dating a 27 year old man and this is by far the most mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually fulfilling relationship I have ever been in. It does feel kinda weird when I think about the age difference, but it's whatever. We get along perfectly, same interests, same sense of humor, same curious nature, same adventurous side.
@@Macabre.Marionette Why would you feel weird? Do you think a man would consider a woman seven years younger than him as much younger? He wouldn't, and neither would anyone around him. I understand where you're coming from but it's time we change the narrative.
@@leonore3349 just because it's not the "typical" dynamic. Some of my coworkers give me a hard time as well. My mom was also 6 years older than my dad and they were both insanely toxic and dangerous people and I've made it my life's mission to be nothing like them so this occasionally make some worried that it will end up like their relationship did. I know me and my BF are not like my parents but it's still a worry.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Admitting when we are wrong.... many people only do this after they've damaged relationships beyond repair... therefore a very important part of an authentic apology is timing, as soon as possible is best. The longer you leave a person believing you don't care the more your relationship with them is damaged because their level of stress hurts them from your not showing up. You can only give them so much if this stress before their body demands they get away from you through illness.
I find trying to explain things from the other’s point of view helpful but it’s hard to get people to do this. One person thinks they are right and the other wrong (generally) but there are two sides to everything.
After James Hollis, this is by far the most profound and enriching conversation I've seen. Also, thanks to Andrew's excellent questions and elaborate assumptions. 'What comes from the heart, reaches the heart'. This definitely landed well. Thank you!
So many great guests on this podcast but Esther Perel truly has to be one of the most inspiring. So many gems in this conversation. I love what she says about having three different marriages in life, even though they may be with the same person. The distinction between genuine remorse and narcissistic shame is crucial to healing and reviving a relationship, it seems to me. Seriously trying to make a relationship thrive is not for the faint of heart! It demands courage and vulnerability.
When I heard Ms Perel say if this interpretation works for you, it is not because it is more true than the others, it is because it's useful, I thought, this is the sign of a great therapist.
Going through a difficult period in my life after the breakup of a five-year-long relationship, your podcasts have become a bright spot during these times, bringing so much enlightenment and knowledge about myself and those around me. Thank you for existing and for everything you are doing. You definitely make the world a better place. 🙌
I am an example of a cornerstone relationship. We are high school sweethearts, 2 kids, a house, loss/grief, health issues, and careers experienced together. I completely echo Esther’s sentiment on the struggle to expand the foundation. With regular date nights, therapy, and a lot of hard work and tears, we continue to lay new ground together. I must say though, every time we have to expand, it hurts, and it’s easy to question if it's worth it, but dang is there is a lot of love and connection built afterward.
27:54 Dr. Huberman this is principle 4 from the Gottman Institute about letting your partner influence you. It is quite scary like you said, especially for those of us that like to be in control.
@@marieboussard5629 I understand what you are saying, and it’s probably my error to only explain the challenges, but I honestly wouldn’t want to be on this rock in space with anyone else but my husband. He is kind, funny, humble, smart, and a hard worker. We laugh on the daily and the colors are brighter because of him. Not only do I love him as my husband, but I love him as a human…he is exceptional…and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him by my side. ❤️
@@marieboussard5629 I understand what you are saying, and it’s my error that I only mentioned the challenges. I would not want to experience life on this rock in space with anyone else but him. He is kind, funny, smart, humble, and a hard worker. We laugh together on the daily, and the colors are brighter because of him. He is by far the best choice I make for myself each and every day. I truly hope to spend forever in his arms. It’s sappy, but it’s true. 😆❤️
I understand what you are saying, and it’s my error that I only mentioned the challenges. I would not want to experience life on this rock in space with anyone else but him. He is kind, funny, smart, humble, and a hard worker. We laugh together on the daily, and the colors are brighter because of him. He is by far the best choice I make for myself each and every day. I truly hope to spend forever in his arms. ❤ (I keep trying to reply and it’s not showing on my end so I’m sorry if there are repeats on yours) Oh, and to add: It’s a lot like parenting. Hard, but rewarding. Just a little extra thought. Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean it isn’t “destiny.”
We need more people telling us truth like Andrew Humbert. This is also what I read in book called Grow Beyond by Nathan Chambers. You can see real progress with consistent effort...
Esther Perel is an old soul. AND really interested in humans and their relationships so down-to-earth, warm-hearted full of life and humour... and so much more. She is an amazing gift, especially with her family history it's a miracle. Thank you so much !
Complicated family histories are often a great driving force for people to study and thrive as psychologists and mental health therapists & researchers 🙂
"Knowing yourself as well as you do, what do you think makes it hard to live with you?" What a brilliant question related to self-awareness and also looking at ourselves unbiasedly. Two of my favorite people discuss a subject of huge importance! Thank you for this BRILLIANT episode!
There are no words that can completely and accurately capture the beauty, the brilliance, the depth of this absolutely amazing conversation. Every time I listen to Ester talking I feel as i took a deep, deep dive in the human mind and soul, yet after what feels like minutes (even though it's been hours) I'm left longing for more, needing to know, to learn, to unravel more. Esther has this innate ability, this laser focus vision that reads one deepest thoughts. She can accurately ARTICULATE what one only feels but can't always put into words. She not only sees it all, but she also has a deep understanding of both sides AND of all the moving factors (past experiences, thoughts, expectations, fears, way of communicating, emotions, self constructed stories and so on. Thank you, Andrew!! I hope, as you mentioned, that you'll meet again soon and continue this fantastic conversation.
every time I see Esther I have an urge to purchase one of those hand bracelet pieces so I can feel like an empathetic and accomplished therapist while talking with my friends
Esther is a gift to anyone wanting a successful relationship of any kind… A Must actually! The quality of our relationships truly IS the quality of our lives. She’s Brilliant. An understatement ❤
I’m also a neuroscientist at Harvard. Sir, you are such a great explainer. I hope one day I will be like you. I also create content on neuroscience and its applications in our daily lives. Thank you so much for the great content 🙏. Esther Perel's insights into romantic relationship dynamics are precious. Her emphasis on curiosity about the other person and our personal growth within the relationship resonates deeply with her approach to relational health.
When this episode came out, I was thinking, "oh I don't need to hear this I'm married." But I was sooo wrong... It felt like a therapy session rather than just consuming information. I went through a range of emotions and I'll surely discuss them with my husband. Thank you for bringing Esther to the show!!!! ✨ I would love to see Elizabeth Gilbert on his show someday. 💫
I am in a capstone relationship, meeting my boyfriend in my late 50's and now living together. We are still negotiating our relationship and this chat was insightful.
This is an amazing deep retrospective needed discussion to a deeper understanding into our relationships. “A person is more complex than a keyhole” “ we don’t treat symptoms we work with lives” There is an opportunity here that we can work together with our significant others to understand each other on this level for healing and repair.
I’m in my ultimate marriage/ relationship now and after listening to the first 20 minutes so far, I smiled and I feel anyone can benefit from listening and learning from this great conversation! Great podcast and joy to everyone here!! We all can learn from this one! Love it so far!
love this version of Esther Perel; Andrew managed to bring out the depth of her expertise and experience. very refreshing compared to previous podcasts that she was on.
Esther Perel is a national treasure. I have consumed various other TH-cam video clips featuring Ms. Perel - and I am always captivated by her words; I learn something new even if the topic itself is the same. Thank you for having her on this podcast - I enjoyed it and take it as a gift!
Andrew, thank you so much for interviewing Ester. My wife and I are rebuilding/ strengthening our relationship after 20yrs. Esters work is incredible. Cheers my friend. Keep it up, I’ve been following you for yrs…thanks to Joe and the way you relay the information you have to share. Take care
Dr. Huberman, I'm about half way through this podcast and hand on heart say this is the best Esther Perel Podcast/chat I've ever watched or heard. Not only were the questions you both asked thoughtful, but also the answers. The dance of professional regard for each other's domain and to include that respectfully and inclusively in a question or a response was such delight to receive as your audience. Thank you, both for such a grounded conversation. It's one that will bookmarked for a life-time of reference.
Im a Argentinian born profesional tango danser. I follow your podcast for a while. Love the content here is a idea 💡 I would love for an episode to explore the benefits of partner dancing, specifically tango. This dance is not only a physically challenging activity that improves coordination, balance, and endurance, but it also has a profound emotional and spiritual impact. On an emotional level, tango creates a unique connection between partners, fostering trust, non-verbal communication, and empathy. Spiritually, it’s almost meditative, as it requires full presence and surrender to the moment. Additionally, tango is an incredible tool for learning how to relate better to others, as it demands both dancers to be in sync to create a shared experience. It would be fascinating to hear your perspective on how these physical and emotional interactions can impact our brain and overall well-being. Thank you for the incredible content you always share!"
In this episode Andrew is reminded by a very mature woman that a one fits all protocol is pointless in relationships..... Seriously one of the best episodes yet.. Your always hitting it out of the park but this one is above and beyond....
Esther is an unbelievably well spoken professional and has such a vibrant, attractive, elegant energy! Also, you just hit every spot with these questions. I'm so glad I got to experience this interview. How enlightening! Thank you.
A conversation years in the making. Super grateful for this one. I asked for this in the comments 2 years ago! My request has finally been fulfilled and I am not disappointed.
This podcast is one for the freaking books!!!! So many aha moments; like Huberman said so many gems; some opened my mind and others brought me to tears because of how she broke down the why behind them. I could listen to her for hours, even huberman was taking it all-in as if this was a life session! Wow we need part 2. Bravo❤
Wow, I must admit I screeched when this episode came out. I'm a big fan of Esther, and I truly needed to hear this conversation - it changed my perception, and I'm grateful to be able to come back to this episode, and share it. Thank you Esther, for your work and your ability to explain concepts so eloquently! Andrew, thank you so much for including relationship dynamics in science, it's changing the world ❤
As a Physician and as a human, I got to say this podcast, as well as Dr. Peter Attia's book and podcast, changed my life! the way I want to practice medicine and the way I take care of my own health! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for expanding your podcast to cover these complex topics. It would be so amazing if you did a whole series with Esther Perel, and/or invited Brenee Brown to have a conversation (read Atlas of the Heart if you haven’t). I would also appreciate listening to an episode that covers the Lymphatic System, and how it can affect overall physical and cognitive health and functions - as well as protocols for improving and maintaining your lymphatic system. Thank you so much🙏🏽
Esther looking gorgeous in the black and gold! I will listen to anything either of these two has to say. I’m so stoked that they did an episode together! Hopefully Esther will interview him for her show too. 🙏
Beautiful episode. I have followed Esther Perel for sometime now and I always find so much wisdom every time she opens her mouth. Truly loved this episode!
This episode was a true joy for me, Sir. Thank you for inviting Esther Perel - it is a blast! In todays fast-paced world of multiple relationships - both personal and professional - we are forced to test the quality of those, on daily basis. Sometimes these connections have to break, if we had never learned how to nourish them, or when we realise they are not serving our wellbeing. The outcome of these connections constitutes our individual sense of belonging - to ourselves and to the world around us. Very few of us were taught in schools , or by our in-born families , how to recognize the need to belong, and how to address it in a functionnal manner. There is quite a journey ahead of us to re-learn that "alphabet of belonging" in adulthood - but it is possible and in our reach.
The segment on apologizing/apologies was so enlightening. It explains anxiety I have around apologizing that I couldn't put my finger on until hearing Ms. Perel explain matters. I give sincere apologies and always right before giving them I worry that the other person won't accept it. And then where will that leave me? Thank you Ms. Perel for the three times and it's on the other person wisdom. There should be more exploration on the concepts she has surrounding apologies.
This conversation was sooo rich, so nourrishing and so beautiful that it made me cry several times. I love the beauty, the passion and the commitment that this woman embodies and carries to the world... and Andrew vibrates in the same field so fluently. thank you both for this inspiring and insightful conversation! I want to listen it again right away ❤🙏
Esther is speaking perfectly on this topic. I'd like to tell her thank you, because I feel validated and less lonely. I'll be studying this and more of her talks. I hope I can learn to give better advice and how to talk about these subjects with people. To hear human emotion and connection being truthfully spoken about is more than helping me. It's become a hostile and defensive environment from the use of psychology terms like "narcissist". Even through counseling I found the therapists falling into this same trap. Rarely do we hear people speak in a way that encompasses the whole life of a human. Esther really has put her heart and mind into this.
Thank you so much Andrew and Esther for this deep dive into our relationships and who we are in them. After this podcast, I sat down to journal, using a timeline of my own life experiences. At 72, this took a while -- and it was so worth it. I was able to make sense and gain perspectives, nuance and deeper understanding of my childhood, my marriages and friendships. I realized how so many people were involved in me discovering the parts of myself that were yearning to be reclaimed and rediscovered -- and how I contributed to others also finding lost parts of themselves. Oh we did all this accidentally most of the time -- and often very clumsily. You both are contributing to my building of a much more solid framework on which to construct the life I want -- and the support/scaffolding I wish to provide to others - especially my adult children and my grandchildren. I will be listening again -- and sharing this podcast through my blog and social media. Much gratitude for such an impactful conversation . Andrew -- you are bringing us some dynamic game-changing guests and discussions. Please keep it coming!
To hear a relationship as a "system that straddles stability and change and then grapples for homeostasis" are terms in which I've never heard it explained and helps so very much. Thank you both.
From the mind’s perspective there is no present, only past or future. The trouble is we keep on overthinking everything and not just being with what is. There is no time to observe self or the other. Thank you for another amazing conversation! ❤
This combination is mind blowing! I am in awe of the intelligence and the wisdom of both parties even after watching both in different talks before. It’s incredible how deep this conversation is. The healing and awareness this brings to us in this troubled age is beyond comprehension. Thank you for making this happen!
I really enjoyed this conversation! If I were to add anything to it, I would ask Dr. Huberman to ask Esther the simple question: what is a successful romantic relationship? Maybe even 'what is a romantic relationship?' It seems to me that many discussions around relationahips address how to fix issues, but do not center on how to build a new relationship successfully.
Talk about a question with many different answers. I don't know the words she'd use, of course, but I'm guessing she'd tell you about how we used to have a clear script for relationships, and a successful relationship was one that made money and produced children; but nowadays people choose their own relationship and decide what that means for them. Relationships take many different forms, the variety has never been greater, and there is no shortage in new forms popping up everywhere.
@@muizzy yeah, I would be very curious to see her answer to this. I also imagine she would say something like that. The moment we call some relationships 'successful', and some not, we imply that the successful ones have something in common. I'd be curious to know what that is for her. Surely after seeing so many couples in therapy she'd have a very educated answer on this.
Also, a question like: does a romantic relationship have to involve only 2 people? This discussion pretty much assumes 2 partners across the board, but does it have to be that way? Where does a freindship end and a romantic relationship begin? So many possible questions to ask about this topic.
@@Theo-ul8qm There are many successful throuples and sometimes there are more. Esther has an entire podcast (Where Should We Begin) and a blog, which it seems like you would enjoy a lot.
I'm ready for Esther to write another book set it around these questions you were hoping she would be asked her book mating in captivity is a yearly read for me@@Theo-ul8qm
This episode brought to me so deep sensations that I need to express how thankful I am to have the opportunity to listen to it!! This is not just about Mrs. Perel also about you Mr. Huberman. Thank you so much and congratulations!! Just loved it!
As someone very late to the emotional growth game both as an indiviual and within relationships. All this made such sense to me. "It takes two" is ringing in my mind over and over after listening to this. I feel like answering a few questions and creating 4x more is the path to awareness.
Thank you so much for bringing Esther in for today’s episode. For me, it is the best. I’ve heard, watched, seen so many of her videos, interviews, presentations over the years and this discussion is truly phenomenal. The range and depth of topics explored are just so rich and thought-provoking. Thank you 🙏🏼
Esther owned this conversation, captivating. I have avoided all of Andrew’s content the last few years, it was magnificent to watch her guide him through this conversation. Looking up her audiobooks now, thanks ⭐️
This woman is soooo beautiful throughout! The way she shines when she talks is breathtaking 😳. Thank you Andrew for introducing me to this amazing human being. I am wanting more of her inspiring amazingness now! Love all your podcasts and thank you for everything you do! ❤️
I've been sober 16 years as of 9/13/2008. I left AA about 8 years ago. I dont want to identify as an alcoholic or addict the rest of my life. I hate labels. Plus, i'm much more than just an alcoholic.
😂 glad Huberman was able to receive a TWO-hour therapy session by having Esther Perel on his podcast...as a therapist myself, questions posed always root from whatever the individual is working/processing through. 😊
I will admit that this the most useful podcast I ever know because it contains a lot of important informations about different aspects of life , thank you so much
I’m very grateful for this mind blowing episode! Thanks to Esther for expounding on a topic that can be so complicated to talk about, yet she does in such a way that facilitates understanding, and to you for interviewing her. There’s so many gems, that I will need to rewatch again and again- to make sure nothing goes to “waste״.
A true expert!! Thank you both and thank you Dr Huberman for the hard work and dedication you put into serving all of us curious human kind 🙏... I'll be listening to this one multiple times ❤
The apology is incomplete. I love that. Acknowledge, ownership, apologize, change, make amends...are all these apart of a complete apology that leads to healing?
Hold on…had to stop at min. 15:47 to laugh out loud. Love this woman. Two of my favorite professionals ever. This is my new favorite episode. Applause applause!!!!
Marriage vow: “I’ll fuck up on a regular basis and on occasion, I’ll acknowledge it.”😂 agree - my fav quote so far in and I love listening to these two! 🤍
This talk definitely wasn’t long enough! So many things become clear, and yet I also feel hopeless. My dad was having an affair, which my mother knew about, while I was lolling around in her womb. I know that her emotional state affected me, but I still don’t know what to do about it. Yes, we can rewire and reprogram our ‘brain’, but how? I try to follow those paths of reimagining, reframing, thinking and feeling in new ways, but it feels like holding a massive beach ball under water - and it inevitably pops up. Failure. I appreciate you sharing your own experiences, Andrew, and for trying to help others. I know I’m ‘messed up’…and now what. 😅The thing is that it impacts every aspect of a person’s life, unless they are able to compartmentalise. I know it affected my professional working life and career because I could never sustain emotional resilience over extended periods of time. We need loving intimate relationships to feel whole, and yet they are so challenging. (I know my situation is hardly unique or even interesting, but I’m just sharing this anyway.)
Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed this topic and episode, please click the "like" button and subscribe to our channel here on TH-cam.
Thank you for your interest in science! -- Andrew
Andrew sir, we need a vid where you talk abt feeling so little looking to the upcoming years you've got to live and not doing enough, like you never feel like doing enough if you want to
😂😂❤❤❤😂😂😢😮😅
Oral contraceptives are unnatural
😂😮😢😅😂😢😮
@@hubermanlab Appreciate you Andrew
There is a beautiful quote from Rumi that has helped me tremendously on my journey of self-awareness, and it always comes to mind when I approach love: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
I still use it as a mantra sometimes, and each time, I gain a deeper understanding of its meaning. I thought I’d share it.
Your guest was terrific!
@@Maggieiaconeta Love Rumi!
Hadn't heard that before, thanks for sharing.
@@cassandrablissness if you love Rumi, I'm quite sure you will love Gibran too, I'll suggest to read "On Marriage", my favourite.
@@Maggieiaconeta yes! Another fave for sure!
Thank you for sharing that breathtaking quote.
I think it is so important to show each other love. I know this is a bit off-topic but my boyfriend didn’t have a birthday or anything, but I found out that most men only get flowers at their funeral. That struck me. I decided to get him a lower bouquet that you put together like lego (because real flowers might not have thrilled him haha), and he was SO touched! We spent the evening building it together, and it turned into the sweetest date night. Still so happy about it!
That’s adorable! I just got one for my boyfriend too and I’m so excited to have a lovely date night together with him! In case someone is wondering, I found it through a quick look online. It is called: His First Flower Lego Style Bouquet
Women are usually not romantics.
You're an outlier.
That was very sweet.
If you ask him about it 60 years later he will still remember it
Show love but try to genuinely find out what your partner would love to receive as a gift. Is he genuinely crazy about flowers? Most women never get a tool kit as a gift, doesn't mean i should give her one. Let's not project our wishes in the gifts we make
Sweet and adorable
*"And so you find, that in many relationships you have one person who is afraid of losing the other, and one person who is afraid of losing themselves"*
Two of my favorite speakers on the same podcast. Thousands of hours in psychotherapy can be avoided and even more relationships can be saved by understanding the above quote.
Do you know which minute mark she said this? I’ve been searching for it for the past hour.
@@javellynt6698 1:36:28
Not sure to what extent understanding the quote will help, for understanding, while not being able to talk with eachother about difficulties, I doubt will be enough.
I've heard it so many times now, from people reflecting on their divorce/breakup: how it would not have happened had they talked through their stuff. With eachother. And not with people outside the marriage/relationship.
@@javellynt6698 it's at 1:36:20
These guys are seriously healing an entire generation
are you for real? haven't you seen the article about how he mistreats women and lie to them for sex? thats gross behavior and very ironical to see this particular topic for him to lecture us about
@@44yyBBaakk send me the link and i'll read it :)
@@44yyBBaakk people who believes news on face value
@44yyBBaakk of course it's some article that is a copy of a copy of a copy, it's all the same, allegations without proof. Allegedly.
@@44yyBBaakkyou’re the polarization they were talking about in the podcast. You believe everything you read in tabloids? This entire podcast is about how there are different sides to the story, about how we experience different realities and narratives. I don’t claim to know whether the tabloids are true are not but I have seen other stories of men’s careers absolutely demolished because a woman saw a man with a successful career and used that to spin narratives and gain money or popularity. I’ve also seen men use and abuse power. And I’ve seen vice versa. Either way, you don’t know the truth.
OMG!!!!! Andrew and Esther!!!! Two of my favourite people ever in the same room !!!talking!!! and we get to see this!!!!!!! Dang!!!!!!
What a time to be alive!!!! I am soooooo looking forward to listen to this!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
This is literally what i said in my mind 😂❤
@@leeman6101same!! 🎉
Literally same!!! Shared this video to three people already and I haven’t even finished it yet
me too!😂❤
Hahahahhahaha I just posted the same squeal of excitement.
This woman is so wise, insightful, and brilliant.
Yes, she’s brilliant. Such an interesting conversation and so insightful!
I LOVED, "I don't do anything all the time. I work like a tailor. I do fittings."
About to apply that mindset to almost every aspect of my life lol
I have long been a fan of Esther and I believe she has surgical precision when it comes to getting to the heart of the matter -- and she does it with such skill and compassion that it hurts less than couples often imagine. Her tailor metaphor makes perfect sense and I love that she views herself that way.
@@amydavis5174❤
Martha Beck…and Esther Perel!!!…I’m beyond thrilled and excited to see this new wave of excellence being highlighted. Seeing THIS podcast appear today is quite the gift. THANK YOU Dr. Huberman and the Huberman Lab for introducing the world to these relational/interpersonal giants. God knows the world needs the wisdoms you continue share/introduce. ❤
find Partner from Dreams by Bruce Thornwood (thank me later)
It’s truly remarkable seeing how these two people in top of their fields still so enthused in learning from each other. No ego whatsoever, just science and empathy. Truly amazing!
I wasn't 20mins in to the video and I think I fell in love with this woman. Her mind is fabulous! I truly hope to be this intelligent, dynamic, and stunning inside and out at that age. 🥰
In my 48 years.. This is the most profound conversation that I’ve listened to… seriously. I had a dozen responses…and my mind was blown over and over. OMG this was… pivotal. Thank you so much for educating and connecting. OMG. Than you for your time… I can’t express my thoughts & feelings enough… All of this ❤
Agree entirely. It was beyond excellent👌🏴
This video was perhaps one of the most profound and transformative pieces of content I have ever consumed. I am just over a month out of a relationship that ended abruptly, and the ability to apply almost all of these topics to my personal situation and relationship is astounding. This video has shattered what I thought I understood about myself, my actions, and those of my partner throughout the relationship. Thank you for this, Andrew, and thank you Esther. This video has legitimately created a pivot point in my life and has given me the framework and knowledge to better care for partners and myself in future relationships.
Can you share what you’ve learned? What of the video applies and is true to your experiences? Would love to learn from you as well… best of luck! Glad to hear you’ve found so much value in this too :)
Loved so much what she said:Get out the hell if here, u can't stand you, but i can't imagine to live without you!! So so true... ❤
10:29 Esther Perel is so beautiful, with such a special energy around her. Her voice is captivating-I could listen to her talk forever. Loving this episode!
She truly is!
Sharp dresser as well, love her look!!
Agreed. The french accent is the icing on the cake.
When they discuss love and desire; how love for some people come with a sense of responsibility - a burden, which reduces desire...my mind was blown.
I'm in a relationship with a younger man.... I'm 47 he is 35, It's been fantastic. We both are adventurous, active, free spirited and passionate. We are best friends. The ebb and flow between us is like a dance. Living in the moment. I definitely receive judgement from others being the older partner, but I let it roll off my back. Sure, the age difference may become an issue some day, but we chose to jump in and give it our all. I'm very happy about our ability to work and talk through our issues. We hear and respect each other and recognize our personal attributes and flaws. When we fall we get back up.
Thank you for sharing, sounds wonderful! How long have you been together?
I’ve been married 25 years now to a man 11 years younger. The age difference was a big deal only to one of his siblings.
I'm 34 woman dating a 27 year old man and this is by far the most mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually fulfilling relationship I have ever been in. It does feel kinda weird when I think about the age difference, but it's whatever. We get along perfectly, same interests, same sense of humor, same curious nature, same adventurous side.
@@Macabre.Marionette Why would you feel weird? Do you think a man would consider a woman seven years younger than him as much younger? He wouldn't, and neither would anyone around him. I understand where you're coming from but it's time we change the narrative.
@@leonore3349 just because it's not the "typical" dynamic. Some of my coworkers give me a hard time as well. My mom was also 6 years older than my dad and they were both insanely toxic and dangerous people and I've made it my life's mission to be nothing like them so this occasionally make some worried that it will end up like their relationship did. I know me and my BF are not like my parents but it's still a worry.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is steve_porassss
Admitting when we are wrong.... many people only do this after they've damaged relationships beyond repair... therefore a very important part of an authentic apology is timing, as soon as possible is best. The longer you leave a person believing you don't care the more your relationship with them is damaged because their level of stress hurts them from your not showing up. You can only give them so much if this stress before their body demands they get away from you through illness.
I find trying to explain things from the other’s point of view helpful but it’s hard to get people to do this. One person thinks they are right and the other wrong (generally) but there are two sides to everything.
After James Hollis, this is by far the most profound and enriching conversation I've seen. Also, thanks to Andrew's excellent questions and elaborate assumptions. 'What comes from the heart, reaches the heart'. This definitely landed well. Thank you!
Agreee
So many great guests on this podcast but Esther Perel truly has to be one of the most inspiring. So many gems in this conversation. I love what she says about having three different marriages in life, even though they may be with the same person. The distinction between genuine remorse and narcissistic shame is crucial to healing and reviving a relationship, it seems to me. Seriously trying to make a relationship thrive is not for the faint of heart! It demands courage and vulnerability.
When I heard Ms Perel say if this interpretation works for you, it is not because it is more true than the others, it is because it's useful, I thought, this is the sign of a great therapist.
Going through a difficult period in my life after the breakup of a five-year-long relationship, your podcasts have become a bright spot during these times, bringing so much enlightenment and knowledge about myself and those around me. Thank you for existing and for everything you are doing. You definitely make the world a better place. 🙌
I am an example of a cornerstone relationship. We are high school sweethearts, 2 kids, a house, loss/grief, health issues, and careers experienced together. I completely echo Esther’s sentiment on the struggle to expand the foundation. With regular date nights, therapy, and a lot of hard work and tears, we continue to lay new ground together. I must say though, every time we have to expand, it hurts, and it’s easy to question if it's worth it, but dang is there is a lot of love and connection built afterward.
27:54 Dr. Huberman this is principle 4 from the Gottman Institute about letting your partner influence you. It is quite scary like you said, especially for those of us that like to be in control.
Doesn't seem like it's really worth it. Maybe, with the one you're truly destined for, it wouldn't be so difficult.
@@marieboussard5629 I understand what you are saying, and it’s probably my error to only explain the challenges, but I honestly wouldn’t want to be on this rock in space with anyone else but my husband. He is kind, funny, humble, smart, and a hard worker. We laugh on the daily and the colors are brighter because of him. Not only do I love him as my husband, but I love him as a human…he is exceptional…and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him by my side. ❤️
@@marieboussard5629 I understand what you are saying, and it’s my error that I only mentioned the challenges. I would not want to experience life on this rock in space with anyone else but him. He is kind, funny, smart, humble, and a hard worker. We laugh together on the daily, and the colors are brighter because of him. He is by far the best choice I make for myself each and every day. I truly hope to spend forever in his arms. It’s sappy, but it’s true. 😆❤️
I understand what you are saying, and it’s my error that I only mentioned the challenges. I would not want to experience life on this rock in space with anyone else but him. He is kind, funny, smart, humble, and a hard worker. We laugh together on the daily, and the colors are brighter because of him. He is by far the best choice I make for myself each and every day. I truly hope to spend forever in his arms. ❤
(I keep trying to reply and it’s not showing on my end so I’m sorry if there are repeats on yours)
Oh, and to add: It’s a lot like parenting. Hard, but rewarding. Just a little extra thought. Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean it isn’t “destiny.”
We need more people telling us truth like Andrew Humbert. This is also what I read in book called Grow Beyond by Nathan Chambers. You can see real progress with consistent effort...
Gotta love Andrew Humbert
@@kmiriabell😂😂😂
You should subscribe to Humbert Labs now. Very informative, all around.
I wholeheartedly agree, Gordon Flake
The comments sections of this genre of content is always insufferably annoying
Esther Perel is an old soul.
AND
really interested in humans and their relationships
so down-to-earth, warm-hearted
full of life and humour...
and so much more.
She is an amazing gift,
especially with her family history it's a miracle.
Thank you so much !
Complicated family histories are often a great driving force for people to study and thrive as psychologists and mental health therapists & researchers 🙂
"Knowing yourself as well as you do, what do you think makes it hard to live with you?" What a brilliant question related to self-awareness and also looking at ourselves unbiasedly. Two of my favorite people discuss a subject of huge importance! Thank you for this BRILLIANT episode!
Two of my most profound teachers together for two whole hours! I'll be clearing my schedule and making an evening of this... very excited!
There are no words that can completely and accurately capture the beauty, the brilliance, the depth of this absolutely amazing conversation.
Every time I listen to Ester talking I feel as i took a deep, deep dive in the human mind and soul, yet after what feels like minutes (even though it's been hours) I'm left longing for more, needing to know, to learn, to unravel more.
Esther has this innate ability, this laser focus vision that reads one deepest thoughts. She can accurately ARTICULATE what one only feels but can't always put into words.
She not only sees it all, but she also has a deep understanding of both sides AND of all the moving factors (past experiences, thoughts, expectations, fears, way of communicating, emotions, self constructed stories and so on.
Thank you, Andrew!! I hope, as you mentioned, that you'll meet again soon and continue this fantastic conversation.
every time I see Esther I have an urge to purchase one of those hand bracelet pieces so I can feel like an empathetic and accomplished therapist while talking with my friends
hahaha factsssss
Be Goldish ❤
Diggin The hand bracelet 🥰
Every time!!!
Esther is a gift to anyone wanting a successful relationship of any kind…
A Must actually!
The quality of our relationships truly IS the quality of our lives. She’s Brilliant. An understatement ❤
I’m also a neuroscientist at Harvard. Sir, you are such a great explainer. I hope one day I will be like you. I also create content on neuroscience and its applications in our daily lives. Thank you so much for the great content 🙏.
Esther Perel's insights into romantic relationship dynamics are precious. Her emphasis on curiosity about the other person and our personal growth within the relationship resonates deeply with her approach to relational health.
I love your contents too ! ❤❤❤
When this episode came out, I was thinking, "oh I don't need to hear this I'm married." But I was sooo wrong... It felt like a therapy session rather than just consuming information. I went through a range of emotions and I'll surely discuss them with my husband. Thank you for bringing Esther to the show!!!! ✨
I would love to see Elizabeth Gilbert on his show someday. 💫
I am in a capstone relationship, meeting my boyfriend in my late 50's and now living together. We are still negotiating our relationship and this chat was insightful.
This is an amazing deep retrospective needed discussion to a deeper understanding into our relationships. “A person is more complex than a keyhole” “ we don’t treat symptoms we work with lives” There is an opportunity here that we can work together with our significant others to understand each other on this level for healing and repair.
I’m in my ultimate marriage/ relationship now and after listening to the first 20 minutes so far, I smiled and I feel anyone can benefit from listening and learning from this great conversation! Great podcast and joy to everyone here!! We all can learn from this one! Love it so far!
Ultimate Marriage. 🤘
love this version of Esther Perel; Andrew managed to bring out the depth of her expertise and experience. very refreshing compared to previous podcasts that she was on.
I've listened to many of Esther's interviews and I think this is the best one. There is such nuance to the conversation that I really appreciated.
Esther Perel is a national treasure. I have consumed various other TH-cam video clips featuring Ms. Perel - and I am always captivated by her words; I learn something new even if the topic itself is the same. Thank you for having her on this podcast - I enjoyed it and take it as a gift!
*international treasure.😊
@@yogini326 Indeed I stand corrected!
Huberman's questions are so so good (as always, but this is defo the best interview of Esther Perel I've heard)
no effin way. what an epic duo to have a conversation. Well done
Andrew, thank you so much for interviewing Ester. My wife and I are rebuilding/ strengthening our relationship after 20yrs. Esters work is incredible.
Cheers my friend. Keep it up, I’ve been following you for yrs…thanks to Joe and the way you relay the information you have to share.
Take care
Sometimes I struggle a bit with the differences I have with Andrew, but I deeply appreciate the humble gratitude he showed Esther.
Dr. Huberman, I'm about half way through this podcast and hand on heart say this is the best Esther Perel Podcast/chat I've ever watched or heard. Not only were the questions you both asked thoughtful, but also the answers. The dance of professional regard for each other's domain and to include that respectfully and inclusively in a question or a response was such delight to receive as your audience. Thank you, both for such a grounded conversation. It's one that will bookmarked for a life-time of reference.
Im a Argentinian born profesional tango danser.
I follow your podcast for a while. Love the content
here is a idea 💡
I would love for an episode to explore the benefits of partner dancing, specifically tango. This dance is not only a physically challenging activity that improves coordination, balance, and endurance, but it also has a profound emotional and spiritual impact. On an emotional level, tango creates a unique connection between partners, fostering trust, non-verbal communication, and empathy. Spiritually, it’s almost meditative, as it requires full presence and surrender to the moment. Additionally, tango is an incredible tool for learning how to relate better to others, as it demands both dancers to be in sync to create a shared experience.
It would be fascinating to hear your perspective on how these physical and emotional interactions can impact our brain and overall well-being. Thank you for the incredible content you always share!"
Esther Perel's knowledge and understanding of human relationships is divine. She and her work are truly a gift to anyone who leans in to it.
What a beautiful life mission she found to make people feel alive. ❤
Esther Perel is the legit guru of relationship and sexuality.
one of the most beautiful episodes i have ever ever listened to. i filled 3 pages with notes (im a note taker). absolutely eye opening
Im not a note taker by any means and I took so many notes this episode lol such wisdom
I ended up with 10 pages haha, front and back! (in relation to its application in my life as well)
In this episode Andrew is reminded by a very mature woman that a one fits all protocol is pointless in relationships..... Seriously one of the best episodes yet.. Your always hitting it out of the park but this one is above and beyond....
Esther is an unbelievably well spoken professional and has such a vibrant, attractive, elegant energy! Also, you just hit every spot with these questions. I'm so glad I got to experience this interview. How enlightening!
Thank you.
OMG, finally, a chat with Esther Perel 🥰😍🥰😍
yes i very excite. i want find one another wife. i enjoi now. but i want four prepare four later.
I am thinking the same ,
I was waiting for this episode with Esther Perel here on the Huberman podcast .
Thanks!
A conversation years in the making. Super grateful for this one. I asked for this in the comments 2 years ago! My request has finally been fulfilled and I am not disappointed.
Love how she always keeps it real. No judgement, we're all just people with our own shit
This podcast is one for the freaking books!!!! So many aha moments; like Huberman said so many gems; some opened my mind and others brought me to tears because of how she broke down the why behind them. I could listen to her for hours, even huberman was taking it all-in as if this was a life session! Wow we need part 2. Bravo❤
I thought it was phisically impossible for me to love Andrew any more, until I saw Esther bringing the best parts of him out - wow
Wow, I must admit I screeched when this episode came out. I'm a big fan of Esther, and I truly needed to hear this conversation - it changed my perception, and I'm grateful to be able to come back to this episode, and share it. Thank you Esther, for your work and your ability to explain concepts so eloquently! Andrew, thank you so much for including relationship dynamics in science, it's changing the world ❤
It just came out 10m ago , how did you have time to watch it and change your perception ? 😂
wth... podcast out 59 minutes ago. your post 48 minutes ago. 11 minute difference. you listened to a 2 hour 6 minute podcast in 11 minutes?
Oh haha that's confusing isn't it 😅
It was posted on Spotify several hours earlier, so I listened to it there and came to leave a comment here ❤
@@eldesiilbek9315 that makes sense
As a Physician and as a human, I got to say this podcast, as well as Dr. Peter Attia's book and podcast, changed my life! the way I want to practice medicine and the way I take care of my own health! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for expanding your podcast to cover these complex topics. It would be so amazing if you did a whole series with Esther Perel, and/or invited Brenee Brown to have a conversation (read Atlas of the Heart if you haven’t). I would also appreciate listening to an episode that covers the Lymphatic System, and how it can affect overall physical and cognitive health and functions - as well as protocols for improving and maintaining your lymphatic system. Thank you so much🙏🏽
"Knowing yourself as well as you do, what do you think it makes it hard to live with you". Wow, that's an amazing powerful question.
Esther looking gorgeous in the black and gold! I will listen to anything either of these two has to say. I’m so stoked that they did an episode together! Hopefully Esther will interview him for her show too. 🙏
Beautiful episode. I have followed Esther Perel for sometime now and I always find so much wisdom every time she opens her mouth. Truly loved this episode!
This episode was a true joy for me, Sir. Thank you for inviting Esther Perel - it is a blast!
In todays fast-paced world of multiple relationships - both personal and professional - we are forced to test the quality of those, on daily basis. Sometimes these connections have to break, if we had never learned how to nourish them, or when we realise they are not serving our wellbeing.
The outcome of these connections constitutes our individual sense of belonging - to ourselves and to the world around us. Very few of us were taught in schools , or by our in-born families , how to recognize the need to belong, and how to address it in a functionnal manner.
There is quite a journey ahead of us to re-learn that "alphabet of belonging" in adulthood - but it is possible and in our reach.
Two of the most brilliant, charismatic, and humble teachers of our time together! Amazing!
I love Esther. Her research and conclusions are groundbreaking.
Esther Perel and Terry Real are two of the giants everyone needs to hear about. This conversation was exhilarating.
The segment on apologizing/apologies was so enlightening. It explains anxiety I have around apologizing that I couldn't put my finger on until hearing Ms. Perel explain matters. I give sincere apologies and always right before giving them I worry that the other person won't accept it. And then where will that leave me? Thank you Ms. Perel for the three times and it's on the other person wisdom. There should be more exploration on the concepts she has surrounding apologies.
"The truth of today is the joke of tomorrow". Wonderful
So great and so true!
I love watching how two highly intellectual people have a good quality conversation… thank you for helping me spend my spare time wisely 🤗
This conversation was sooo rich, so nourrishing and so beautiful that it made me cry several times.
I love the beauty, the passion and the commitment that this woman embodies and carries to the world... and Andrew vibrates in the same field so fluently. thank you both for this inspiring and insightful conversation! I want to listen it again right away ❤🙏
Esther is speaking perfectly on this topic. I'd like to tell her thank you, because I feel validated and less lonely. I'll be studying this and more of her talks. I hope I can learn to give better advice and how to talk about these subjects with people.
To hear human emotion and connection being truthfully spoken about is more than helping me. It's become a hostile and defensive environment from the use of psychology terms like "narcissist". Even through counseling I found the therapists falling into this same trap.
Rarely do we hear people speak in a way that encompasses the whole life of a human. Esther really has put her heart and mind into this.
Thank you so much Andrew and Esther for this deep dive into our relationships and who we are in them. After this podcast, I sat down to journal, using a timeline of my own life experiences. At 72, this took a while -- and it was so worth it. I was able to make sense and gain perspectives, nuance and deeper understanding of my childhood, my marriages and friendships. I realized how so many people were involved in me discovering the parts of myself that were yearning to be reclaimed and rediscovered -- and how I contributed to others also finding lost parts of themselves. Oh we did all this accidentally most of the time -- and often very clumsily. You both are contributing to my building of a much more solid framework on which to construct the life I want -- and the support/scaffolding I wish to provide to others - especially my adult children and my grandchildren. I will be listening again -- and sharing this podcast through my blog and social media. Much gratitude for such an impactful conversation . Andrew -- you are bringing us some dynamic game-changing guests and discussions. Please keep it coming!
She's a treasure. Not problems you solve but paradoxes you work on together.
An active engagement with the unknown (curiosity) is the best approach to achieving success in life, generally.
To hear a relationship as a "system that straddles stability and change and then grapples for homeostasis" are terms in which I've never heard it explained and helps so very much. Thank you both.
This is something you can watch every year, a good way to check in with yourself.
From the mind’s perspective there is no present, only past or future. The trouble is we keep on overthinking everything and not just being with what is. There is no time to observe self or the other.
Thank you for another amazing conversation! ❤
What a gem of a podcast. Esther is a special person.
This combination is mind blowing! I am in awe of the intelligence and the wisdom of both parties even after watching both in different talks before. It’s incredible how deep this conversation is. The healing and awareness this brings to us in this troubled age is beyond comprehension. Thank you for making this happen!
I really enjoyed this conversation!
If I were to add anything to it, I would ask Dr. Huberman to ask Esther the simple question: what is a successful romantic relationship? Maybe even 'what is a romantic relationship?'
It seems to me that many discussions around relationahips address how to fix issues, but do not center on how to build a new relationship successfully.
Talk about a question with many different answers. I don't know the words she'd use, of course, but I'm guessing she'd tell you about how we used to have a clear script for relationships, and a successful relationship was one that made money and produced children; but nowadays people choose their own relationship and decide what that means for them. Relationships take many different forms, the variety has never been greater, and there is no shortage in new forms popping up everywhere.
@@muizzy yeah, I would be very curious to see her answer to this. I also imagine she would say something like that.
The moment we call some relationships 'successful', and some not, we imply that the successful ones have something in common. I'd be curious to know what that is for her. Surely after seeing so many couples in therapy she'd have a very educated answer on this.
Also, a question like: does a romantic relationship have to involve only 2 people? This discussion pretty much assumes 2 partners across the board, but does it have to be that way?
Where does a freindship end and a romantic relationship begin?
So many possible questions to ask about this topic.
@@Theo-ul8qm There are many successful throuples and sometimes there are more. Esther has an entire podcast (Where Should We Begin) and a blog, which it seems like you would enjoy a lot.
I'm ready for Esther to write another book set it around these questions you were hoping she would be asked her book mating in captivity is a yearly read for me@@Theo-ul8qm
This episode brought to me so deep sensations that I need to express how thankful I am to have the opportunity to listen to it!! This is not just about Mrs. Perel also about you Mr. Huberman. Thank you so much and congratulations!! Just loved it!
I could listen to her ALLL DAY- EVERYDAY! The gems 💎 she drops are amazing - I would love to attend one of her events ❤⭐️🌟🌟🌟
As someone very late to the emotional growth game both as an indiviual and within relationships. All this made such sense to me. "It takes two" is ringing in my mind over and over after listening to this. I feel like answering a few questions and creating 4x more is the path to awareness.
Thank you so much for bringing Esther in for today’s episode. For me, it is the best.
I’ve heard, watched, seen so many of her videos, interviews, presentations over the years and this discussion is truly phenomenal. The range and depth of topics explored are just so rich and thought-provoking. Thank you 🙏🏼
Esther owned this conversation, captivating. I have avoided all of Andrew’s content the last few years, it was magnificent to watch her guide him through this conversation. Looking up her audiobooks now, thanks ⭐️
29:13 - story shapes experience
36:50 - creatures of meaning
44:14 - some people can’t apologize
Gosh, she’s so smart. The best couple therapist out there.
I knew Esther will be here too and bring this conversation ! Just saw Esther live last week in La and she is just a legend .
This woman is soooo beautiful throughout! The way she shines when she talks is breathtaking 😳.
Thank you Andrew for introducing me to this amazing human being. I am wanting more of her inspiring amazingness now!
Love all your podcasts and thank you for everything you do! ❤️
I've been sober 16 years as of 9/13/2008. I left AA about 8 years ago. I dont want to identify as an alcoholic or addict the rest of my life. I hate labels. Plus, i'm much more than just an alcoholic.
😂 glad Huberman was able to receive a TWO-hour therapy session by having Esther Perel on his podcast...as a therapist myself, questions posed always root from whatever the individual is working/processing through. 😊
Thank you Dr. Huberman, team, sponsors and supporters. Thank you Esther Perel. ☀
Esther so gracefully drops pearls of wisdom as waters drops gliding of a swans feathers, naturally! Wonder-full!!
Thank you :)
I will admit that this the most useful podcast I ever know because it contains a lot of important informations about different aspects of life , thank you so much
I’m very grateful for this mind blowing episode! Thanks to Esther for expounding on a topic that can be so complicated to talk about, yet she does in such a way that facilitates understanding, and to you for interviewing her. There’s so many gems, that I will need to rewatch again and again- to make sure nothing goes to “waste״.
Thank you!!! 🦋🦋🦋 LOVE Esther Perel!!! “Love and do what you will, then there is no sorrow”…. j. Krishnamurti
We don't need more ways to separate, we need efforts to bring back the collective of people.❤
A true expert!! Thank you both and thank you Dr Huberman for the hard work and dedication you put into serving all of us curious human kind 🙏... I'll be listening to this one multiple times ❤
The apology is incomplete. I love that. Acknowledge, ownership, apologize, change, make amends...are all these apart of a complete apology that leads to healing?
Hold on…had to stop at min. 15:47 to laugh out loud. Love this woman. Two of my favorite professionals ever. This is my new favorite episode. Applause applause!!!!
What was funny?
Marriage vow: “I’ll fuck up on a regular basis and on occasion, I’ll acknowledge it.”😂 agree - my fav quote so far in and I love listening to these two! 🤍
This talk definitely wasn’t long enough! So many things become clear, and yet I also feel hopeless. My dad was having an affair, which my mother knew about, while I was lolling around in her womb. I know that her emotional state affected me, but I still don’t know what to do about it. Yes, we can rewire and reprogram our ‘brain’, but how? I try to follow those paths of reimagining, reframing, thinking and feeling in new ways, but it feels like holding a massive beach ball under water - and it inevitably pops up. Failure. I appreciate you sharing your own experiences, Andrew, and for trying to help others. I know I’m ‘messed up’…and now what. 😅The thing is that it impacts every aspect of a person’s life, unless they are able to compartmentalise. I know it affected my professional working life and career because I could never sustain emotional resilience over extended periods of time. We need loving intimate relationships to feel whole, and yet they are so challenging. (I know my situation is hardly unique or even interesting, but I’m just sharing this anyway.)