Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 มิ.ย. 2024
- ►► Access My Happiness After Heartbreak Series for FREE by
Pre-Ordering Your Copy of Love Life Now. . .
→ www.HeartbreakSeries.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my TH-cam channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.
▼
Do you know why heartbreak hits us as hard as it does? In today’s video, I found the answer in an interview with the world-leading expert on grief, David Kessler.
It turns out, a lot of us are carrying around “unattended grief” that affects us in ways we don’t even realize. We often don’t give ourselves the space to fully feel what we need to in order to break free.
This new video is an important one. Even I wasn’t prepared for what I’d feel during the conversation, so I hope you’ll join me and watch it (and let me know your thoughts afterward!)
►► Pre-Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → www.LoveLifeBook.com
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → www.DatingWithResults.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.matthewhussey.com/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Instagram → / thematthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 1:47 - Heartbreak Is a Form of Grief
1:47 - 3:56 - The Dangers of Comparison
3:56 - 5:12 - “Unattended Grief”
5:12 - 6:40 - What Buffalo Can Teach Us About Grief
6:40 - 8:39 - “Anger Is a Bodyguard for Pain”
8:39 - 10:16 - Showing Up for Ourselves
10:16 - 11:32 - When We’ve Abandoned Ourselves
11:32 - 13:04 - The Voice We Use
13:04 - 16:23 - The “Happiness After Heartbreak” Expert Series
Don’t forget, you can watch the powerful full interview with David (as well as 7 other experts) for free by pre-ordering your copy of Love Life today. Head over to HeartbreakSeries.com now for all the information.
2 years on and the pain won't go. Think about my ex wife every single day..
Can I still get access to the interviews if I pre order it from Google Play Books? Because Google Play Books wasn't included on the list of retailers on the website
Hey @@zachs4204! As long as it's a physical copy of the book and not an e-book, you should be able to access the bonus. However, please email our support team at support@howtogettheguy.com and they'll be able to confirm this :) -Bianca, MH team
@@Mark-on3nl 2 years is nothing. I had 8 years and I still survived. Focus in on what you need in life. Focus on what makes you happy and fullfill your life ... I am doing the same thing since I am in the Position as you are. Last time thats what helped me.
@@Dreamgirl224 thank you I needed that
I pray I will never be the reason someone needs to cling to such videos for dear life for the sake of their mental health
What a beautiful comment! ❤
Powerful
Awwwwww❤
I said the exact same thing, May I never be the reason of this kind of pain I'm going through.
so true. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, let alone someone who I've dated before and had good times with.
I envy people who have never had to experience heartbreak.
It literally feels like I can’t breathe, can’t stop crying. Can’t sleep. I feel numb
Once you come out of it i'm telling you you'll feel gratitude for going through it to build you into the person you're meant to become. The people who haven't been heartbroken are behind us on the bingo card of life experience.
This is exactly how I feel, can't breathe, can't stop crying, not sleeping properly, so numb but in so much pain.
Could be anxiety
@@carla6121 How to get out of it? Anxiety, depression, I had bargained myself respect like a sane man wouldn't, but to get that crushed and thrown to a waste bin... I can't seem to get out of it...
@@a_lone_wondereryou need to better yourself and prove to yourself that your not the problem and you can do better and you deserve better
“Grief is just love with no place to go “
Jamie Anderson.
That hit hard....
speechless
Great quote, love it!
Been reminding myself of this quote for the past five months. Had my heart broken tremendously and have been grieving so much that it makes the other hardships I’ve had in my life seem so insignificant, and they were terrible. Heartbreak is the worst pain to go through, in my opinion.
Ouch
i had a Vietnamese GF , we had what the World is Looking for and she died from Breast Cancer,, and i have not been avoiding the issue , but this line does sort of get it because, she died but my love her did not die when died , so yes, Grief is just love with no place to go
My wife and are separating after 14 years of a beautiful relationship. Even in the end everything was peaceful. She's been devoured by her fear of getting old, her insecurities and traumas and influenced by new people she just met. She did not communicate. She cheated. She chose to live a new life instead of working through it with me. I failed as a husband.
This was extremely painful but I refused to numb the pain. No partying, no going out every night, no alcohol and such. I allowed myself to feel all the pain. Now I still feel sad but I'm at peace. I now I did my best, I worked on myself to become a better man.
Im devastated right now because of a breakup of a 2 year relationship. I cant imagine what you must be going through. Respect
Hi.. How are you now.
She will Repaint For sure.
Time is God. Just move on
This is my life right now. I wish you increased peace and contentment in each day to come.
I feel for you😢 same thing happened to me, my husband left me for another woman, we have been together for 22 years with 2 wonderful boys😢, my life is upside down, will my heart heal?💔😔
A hug to everyone commenting. As you can see, you are not alone. Be kind to one another, always. ❤
My heart goes out to everyone here watching this video and helping yourself ❤️ I don’t know you or your story but I am so sorry for your loss.
...thx 🦩
Thank you ❤
Thank you ❤️ your heart is good and kind...
Thank you
❤
My best friend of 10 years and I were in a serious relationship for 3 years until last year when she just dumped me over a text and got engaged to someone else within a week. It took all of last year to steady myself. To anyone out there struggling with heartbreak and grief, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Sending lots of love❤️
I can only imagine the pain you went through when it did happen to you. My best friend of 6 years broke up with me while we were officially together 4 years. Although there wasn’t a third person. The pain and realization of them being gone is so hard to fathom, but I hope things do get better. Thank you for your comment
I hope you heal soon. Going through this monster right now and it effin' sucks.
Glad you’re steady man. Stay strong ❤
I have been through some break ups in my life. The longest was a 16 year relationship that ended last Aug. I then met a woman, who was everything I dreamed. We were together just 5 months. I had some underlying anxiety that bubbled through and pushed her over the point of not worth it and she called it quits last week. This has been the hardest most painful breakup ever. We got along SO great when we were together. But when we were apart I tended to overthink or misinterpret texts. When I was physically with her I never felt more safe in my life. I really dont sense any light after this one. She was the one woman who I actually was happy about a future with and not just going with the motions. I miss her in every moment.
Same as me
I dont wish this pain on anyone not even my worst enemy
I can never get used to heartbreak. I'm certain now that i am afraid to even just imagine falling in love again.
I feel the same way- even after 25 years the pain does not go away
25 years dealing with the same pain? I am 3 yrs in and I am praying to get through it. I can’t continue living with this much pain.
The thing is that I was the same way, Afraid of loving again. I was sure I am incapable of doing it again. And yet, after many years of not experiencing that feeling, it hit me like a brick, out of nowhere, when I expected it the least. And then the person, who told me they love me, played me over and left me again. And here I am again, believing I will never love again.
"Grief is a change you didn't want." - David Kessler
Brilliant 🔥
“Anger is a bodyguard for pain” *instant tears down my face*
😢bro ..
Losing my parents, feels like I'm an orphan. Violently assaulted by an ex, all relationships are affected and highly triggered. Therapy did not help.
Hugs. It's ok to not be ok. You are a survivor to be here. Salute
I’m so sorry to hear this. Please don’t feel alone, please give therapy another chance it takes some chances to find the right one ❤️
Sometimes you‘ve to survive long enough to make it out of the dark. Then your healing will start ❤ Trust in the process
So sorry. Hope you feel better soon.
Sorry, I understand the feeling. My parents are alive but I know the fact that once they are gone, I will be an orphan. There are times that I wake up in the night and check if they are still alive (worst I know). I know no matter how much I prepare for it, it’s going to be traumatic.
Big hugs to you, I wish you peace xx
I can't bear the pain, I'm grieving a lost relationship with someone who's been very dear to me. I never knew it would hurt so much. It literally feels as if my heart has been wrenched out of my chest with no anesthesia. And so many things remind of this person. And there are no hard feelings, we still care for each other but the grief I feel is almost too much to bear. I don't know how to go on.
never betray anyone.
To you whom is Reading this, breath❤️🤲
I’m trying but it hurts
@@Jazzthetruth418 in utter silence,give it to God in Jesus'name
We do so, bcs in spirit [they] can hear us
I’m crying
Thank you! 💕
😢 im trying
6 months of grieving the man who came along midlife, who gave me all the validation and cherishing I had craved but thought impossible. He lost feelings. I cry most days.
This is what I’m going through now, though it’s still fresh (I’m talking only days since my heart got broken)… the best relationship of my life, they lost feelings and couldn’t explain why or when or how. I’m so lost, numb and paralyzed.. I hope I can process this in a healthy way and ditch the idea that this was my forever partner, I thought what we had was so beautiful 😭
I'm going through exactly the same thing. After being in an abusive relationship for 5 years the other guy helped me over the trauma. And we spend 1 year together. And it was the most amazing thing and suddenly he just didn't want to be together without any explanation. I cry most days. Every waking moment i spend thinking about what could have been. I've been in absolute no contact for more than 2 weeks now. It just doesn't get easier. Help me
My fiance dumped me with no explanation after a wonderful 4 years 2 weeks ago also. 7 weeks out from our wedding. I still don't know why. I am with you, and I share your pain.@@rumakalita8278
Sometimes the Lord uses someone for a short moment in time to prove to us that the way the last people made us feel about ourselves, were invalid. I have a prodigal narcissist spouse that i was with 10 years. He left me with my 4 children last year and it was the hardest. But last month the Lord used a man that I would never have ended up with to show me, that what my ex had me believing about myself was a LIE FROM HELL. He made me realize not everyone sees me the way my ex did. Soak up the love and affection but be leery not to get into a trauma bond instead of love.
I'm about a year into grieving my ex, even tried to move on but realized it wasn't fair to my new partner because my ex was still always on my mind. I feel it's impossible to move on at times, we've tried to be friends and are, but the feelings over the past year just bubble up and my anxious side was pleading again. On day 9 of no contact right now and....yeah....nothing. Its still early, but I battle myself. On one hand I feel used because we lived together for 3 years and suddenly after 2 it's like she hated me. I know she's dismissive avoidant NOW after studying attraction types, but damn if I could go back with the knowledge I have today or at least get a second chance, but no, she's firm we're just friends so....im giving her space, but its HARD! I want to message her so bad, but if it's meant to be she'll reach out eventually, if not? Then it shows I didn't mean to her what I thought I did and I deserve better. I get angry thinking about how she treated me, I wasn't perfect either, but ugh....its in God's hands now
The one who revived our heart just to leave it broken into a million pieces... It hurts...
Exactly 💯 ❤
YES.
This!!
I am in a position where I am 7 months removed from my break up, and despite being kind to myself, working out, meditating going out with friends and trying to learn a new language, I still find myself thinking about her every hour of the day.
I remind myself all the time how lucky I am to have experienced that love, and I have taken ownership of my mistakes and have grown so much since the day I lost a part of my soul.
I am young (33), fit and healthy and I don't really struggle to meet women or go on dates etc, I live in a country without war and I have a supportive and loving group of friends and family that have shown me how loved I am since this happened.
I'm so proud of myself and the man I have become.
the past year I have completely flipped the way I think, and have learned how to guide my negative self pitty thoughts into positive and kind ones, but despite all this, I still think about her every hour of every day.
I am often able to catch myself and just say to myself that "I hope she is happy and healthy, and lives a long and full life and that I am thanksful for all the lessons I learnt through her and am now a better man because of my experience", but still 7 months later I will just randomly break into tears from something unrelated to her or a break up and just feel so sad for a good 5-10 minutes.
I work out, I meditate and I love myself, but I feel like there will always be part of my sould missing.
I don't know if I have gotten to the point where I have let go, as I still think about her all the time, but I never am mad or angry at her.
Maybe letting go doesn't mean not thinking about them, maybe it means being able to be okay with the feelings you have and moving forward despite those feelings.
So proud of you 🫂
I feel you. The pain is so intense
❤❤❤❤
So touching
You sound like a wonderful man. Some lucky woman will deserve your love again some day ❤️🔥💞
I recently experienced my first ever heartbreak at 33 years old and I am in such grief and hurt right now. Pain is personal and what I am in now is not easy. Never have I ever felt these real emotions that I am experiencing. Praying and hoping I will be fully healed one day.
Hey bro. I'm 34 and in the same situation. 2 weeks in and it starts to get better but (as you know) we need to be patient over a period of months. Just keep speaking to your close network and do things that help you grow as a person.
Happened to me at 31. We were dating for 3 months but they were intense. It’s been over 7 months and I think of her every day, but the pain is not nearly as intense anymore. It has helped me immensly to pray to God, to trust that He has a plan for me and that if it’s meant to be he will unite us again OR he has an even more amazing women in store for me. Trust God/The universe/Higher power that you will experience even better things in the future. Trust this with ALL your heart. When you feel loss, anxiety, depression, turn to that higher power and with CONVICTION believe that Better things are coming. Hope this helps, it really has helped me. Take care guys
@@jamesprentice2894 Thank you! Over a month since I was devastated from my heartbreak but I believe I am progressing well. Baby steps and I know I will achieve my healing from this but still not gonna lie there are days where I feel awful.
@@BasedBrothers Because God is love. He knows he has better plans for all of us and what happened to us, what we experienced were all charge to our personal learning. I also think about the person who broke my heart everyday but not as much as the early days of my heartbreak. Prayer is a powerful tool to aid us full healing.
Same at 30 boyfriend of 13 yrs said he saw no future with me .
Last few days have been the worst days of my life and I felt like the ground should open and swallow me. With alot of pain in heart and no one to talk to, Seeing these comments made me realize am not a alone . thanks
Same it just happened to me. I'm not sure how I exist without the person.
@@srianna0416 we gonna be fine and look back and be grateful to God for saving you
😢😢😢
We broke up last week I can't breath
You are not alone
The man I've been in love with betrayed me last week. We were never together, but he knew how I felt about him and he hurt me anyway. But I don't think he realizes that he hurt me. I have never felt so heartbroken in my life.
I am going through my worst (second) heartbreak ever. I thought I was gonna be the mother of his children one day. It happened one week ago and he acts like we never happened and I never existed. He is out having fun while I feel like I can never recover from this. How do people act like they really care about you - for years - to just prove you so wrong. I don't even know who this person is.
Sending love and hugs to everyone going through something similar
I divorced out of a toxic, damaging marriage of 21 years over a year ago. A recent breakup from who I thought was the last love I would ever need has hurt more than my divorce ever could. Pain of losing what you have always truly wanted is devastating 💔
🙏🏼 I get it. I’m sorry
I get it too. I’m so sorry. 😞
I am in the exact same place. Every word of it. Bad marriage for 21 years, 3 years of being single and dating and lonely, then I met the love of my life. 18 months together, it ended last week. It hurts 1000 times more than my divorce.
going through the same lets pray for each other
My experience too
I went into the relationship and marriage clear that I didnt want children, and biologically cant have them. My wife agreed to that future. 2 weeks ago, on my birthday, she told me we're getting a divorce because she wants a family. I'm crushed. Thank you for this video.
Mate, I’m literally in an extremely similar position. Feels like so much time has been wasted and navigating the pain and grief is consuming.
But… we’ve got this.
We can keep turning up for ourselves and get out the other side.
Here with you brother 👊🏼
@@charliebrown8829The pain has been crippling and I dont know how to process it. Time and a whole lotta miles on the ole motorcycle i suppose. Much love bro, the pain is proof of the love. Stay strong
Anger is a bodyguard for pain. Too True.
Wow. My wife says she can see my anger as no one else. But never knew why I was so angry. ❤
Thank you for this. The man that I loved died of suicide- no note, no nothing- at only 58, after two years together. All of our plans to retire together and to grow old together- all gone. Now, I'm finding out about all kinds of things (some other woman's perfume-filled bandana and other things that were found out afterward). Suicide leaves so many questions, with no answers. It is a horrible thing to go through. I have watched some of David's videos and they are very helpful- as are yours. Thank you for your video! Please pray for me, I am in such extreme pain. I am praying for all of you for healing, also. Thanks, everyone.
I cant imagine the pain… so sorry
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@@andrewvasilyev3540do you think the spiritual counselor really worked? I’m scared I’ll never get her back. 4 years gone just like that.
hope youre ok same just happened to me literally was my best friend cheated on me left me with everthing we built together been a month since she left for a guy she was ready to be with lmao
It's been 8 months since my relationship ended. I do still get their thoughts once in a while but it's so much easier now, I don't wake up and sleep with his thoughts on my mind like I used to before. My mind plays tricks and brings in happy memories of us as well, I appreciate those days for a moment and let it go. I always pray to God everytime I feel sad and time and time again I forgive my ex for hurting me. It helps me to move forward.
This is me. 😢I thought I wrote this! Can we be friend?
😅
Same here🥲 It’s not even a month, since my soon to be ex left me.
Just came on the year we parted ways, with no reason or closure, but excuses spanning the entire spectrum. I process a little longer than most, hard to brush under the rug as I gave and went all in and still feel the sting...one day at a time, some better than most. Thanks for your post.
As soon as I watched the video, I started crying. Then, as the video progressed, I started feeling calm and hopeful. Thank you so much for giving out the message, Matt.
That makes me really happy. Just wait til you see the whole thing!
Me too, dear. Me 2. Can't stop crying about everything. Especially about something happened 3 months ago.
Even for Mathew though .. seeing his sadness.
Good luck in your healing ❤
Great message, thank you so much 🙏
Me As Well...
Grief is love that has nowhere to go.
I have to much love then and it hurts
You have to approach every relationship knowing it will end. It’s the natural order of everything.
It can't be, there's people who die together... who stay together til the end
Surely
Not really... don't fall for this trick else u ll never feel the beauty of the relationship.
@@how_you_talk I’m married. I wholeheartedly expect my marriage to not last forever because death will eventually take one of us. Or divorce, which statistically is the more reasonable thing to expect in our lovely modern age. You’re busy with feelings, strip those out of the equation and start thinking.Love is evil, I’ve lived long enough to know it.
@@buggus0034 why is love evil
@@user0m170 Because you haven't figured out what it is. Love is the most destructive power on the planet. It can be wielded and make you into a shadow of who you should be. I would know. I live it every single day. If you are a guy, my suggestion is to never get married. If you want children make the kind of money you can get a surrogate. It means you can probably pull women with the kind of money, but make sure your children never know their mother.
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd.
Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
After my break up I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
With so much anxiety 😢I can’t let the pain go
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Is he on instagram?
Loosing a child is the most devastating heartbreak i felt,been a year now and feels like yesterday,still painful until now,and maybe forever,but i still trying to accept til now
Blessings❤
Pouring love into you ❤
Praying for you
God Bless you..I too lost my boy in Afghanistan in 2014...10 years in grief time is like 10 days ago. A psychologist told me I you will never be the same again. You lost part of your heart when he passed, you can never get it back. But through grieving, you'll bring back the love and life lessons your child gave you while he or she was here with you...there is never a time limit to grief...One day you'll be back in the arms of your child so will I...God Bless you...I know your hurt...❤❤
🙏🙏🙏
My boyfriend of over 5 years just broke up with me. I loved him more than anything and he was the most stable thing in my life. I lived with him and have no one else. I am only 20 so i grew up with him in a way, but it feels like this pain will never pass.
It will
It will, i can assure you that, it gets better day by day.
Plz use this situation as a warning to gaurd your heart! Never allow anyone to have all of you ! The pain your experiencing is the result of your heart all in on this relationship! I know this ! I’m sixty years young! Been there ! Understand people change and should! But as you see being all in leaves you absolutely vulnerable to a broken heart that can take years to heal ! And that’s if you let yourself heal ! There are real good guys people who are good for you! Maybe god has a better boyfriend for you ! Everyone you meet isn’t meant to be always in your life ! God puts people in your life and removes them !
Allow yourself to grieve and don’t hesitate to move forward! There is a good young man out there for you! ❤️🙏🏻 praying for you !
My girlfriend over 7 years just broke up with me over a stupid reason. It's hard to realize, but live goes on.
I started when I was 15 as well mine lasted for 13 years I’m only 28 and divorced and lost the the absolute love of my life at least that’s what she was to me. I still don’t know if I meant that much to her. She cheated and left me pretty much all at once it was soul crushing but as they explained I went right into the storm of pain and explored it and after months of doing so I’m finally getting better keep your head high we will get through it
My son died a month and half after my husband died. A double grief. It was in 2016. I would like to have had help emotionally and other people also could have help with these emotions. 😢 😅 Thank you
Thinking of you. Sigh my friend.
My partner was killed in 2014 and my best friend died while I was at my partner's funeral. I never got to say goodbye to either of them. I didn't find any help at the time either and I know I have brought a lot of that pain with me to the present. I cannot imagine losing a child, I'm so sorry. I truly hope you've been able to find peace.
God be with you always.
Broken people do broken things, a broken heart creates broken people
I've been dealing with having my heart broken for 6 months now. I had to quit my job due to breaking down all throughout the day but in the end I feel as if I needed to feel this pain to heal from everything thats been inside me for such long time. Every time I feel my emotions coming I just let them go unrestricted and I feel as if I am healing from years of holding my emotions inside.
Hope you can get back to work, maybe not at the same place but back at work nevertheless. My healing started when I got a full time job to help me not have enough time to allow myself to sulk. Retraumatizing myself reviewing and revisiting the heartbreaks everyday was hindering my recovery. Hope you are as lucky as I was to land a job you love, adore and makes you happy on a daily basis. I teach ESL to small children. Of course I can never love them more than my own child, my son, my Sun and everything for me, but it is incredibly uplifting and amazing to make so many chidren's lives better and spark their minds with thirst for knowledge. Quite challenging as well, so it gives me purpose beyond next morning. Having not much time left to linger on too much heartbreak has done wonders to my peace.
Bro there's billions of women. God did u a favor. Look at the positives. Work on the things u enjoy and qhdn you're ready start dating. You'll be surprised what u find.
I've had to suppress my grief to keep going through a difficult situation and I know how damaging that can be. I've just been through months of worry and anxiety after years of waiting for an end to a particular situation that's been hanging over me. I'm glad you've been able to take the time. When my situation was over I kind of collapsed on the floor in floods of tears while trying to clear out some old paperwork. It was such a relief to finally feel the tears come. Better out than in is what I say. But find time for 'functioning' too so that you can have some distractions. Just to take some time out from the grief here and there and let some 'light' in. At my darkest times I challenged myself to leave the house for at least five mins a day and to find one thing to make me smile. Acknowledge and heal the sadness but also see the good things. Hope things get better for you.
I’m in the same boat as you. Mine was 5 months ago. Nobody really knows just how deep the pain goes and you’ve had your own struggles that are personal to you, and so cry and grieve in all the time you need. Letting it all out is one of the best ways to heal and it takes bravery. It’s easy to stuff things down and ignore things but when it is just too big to do that, letting it all out is going to save you in the end. Proud of you!
@warriorqueen9792 Trust me I felt the same pain. Dead inside. Absolutely broken and shattered. Reality torn away from me. But I'd rather know the truth and eat that fucking pain then dump a big giant dose of motivation in my life that will elevate me to a level I otherwise couldn't. Yes I might suppress. I just ignore anything related to her. Help the people who were loyal to me and snapped me out of that hypnotic bullshit relationship I was in and put me back on the path to rebuilding myself. I had no business being in a relationship which is why I got the result I got. Same with you guys. GOD DID NOT WANT THIS TO BE YOUR TIME. There was a lesson to learn and growth to be had. Once that is accomplished you will love yourself and who you've become. Then you'll attract the right one. Be happy it happened now than when you meet the love of your life.
I think im still grieving for the me i didnt get to be
I understand that. That’s hard. We all could have been someone different had our circumstances been different. I’m sorry you’re hurting.
But remember, if that had been the case, then we would have been missing some of the vital parts of us that arose out of our circumstances.
Also, imagine what you have YET to be…that’s always exciting to me. So much possibility.
Thank you for your comment. Ive been grieving the loss of my dreams of being married and being a mum. The pain in my heart..
My babymama went to rehab and left me for a heroine addict because they could relate to their addictions. I wrote her an empowering message every day to tell her our daughter and l were proud of her for going to rehab, that way she could see all the support when she got her phone back. We even originally had plans for me to pick her up when she was done to celebrate. Didn't matter though, rehab daddy had her locked on some mistakes l've made in the relationship and that the grass is greener with a new person. Sometimes you can do everything you feel is right, and to the other person it may be too late or not enough. I don't know who needs to read this but I want everyone to remember that you won't be enough for everyone and that's okay. Be enough for yourself. Even if you can't see it, your effort will pay off eventually, even if it's with someone else.
I felt emotions for 3 days. But the emotion towards it aint as heavy as before. Whats tiring is the no appetite, no energy, no sleep. Just emptyness in my mind. Its been nearly 2 weeks since the breakup. 10 years we was together. I just want to be able to sleep and eat.
This is me right now
I am 28 with my first true heartbreak of almost 6 years. It is unbelievable how much I hurt. I have lost what felt like home wherever life went. I’m sure like most I can’t wait to be happy again.
I am sending my love to you. I’m in the first true heartbreak of my life as well. I’ve had, what I would call, heartaches. Many in my life, but this one takes the cake and has definitely shattered me. I’m so sorry you are going through the same thing. If anything, I want you to know you are not alone and I admire your positive outlook on saying you can’t wait to be happy again. I admire that because I can’t say the same for myself as I don’t believe I will be, but you will be for sure. I wish I had the same outlook as you do! I know you are in such great pain, and I am praying for your healing. But during this temporary darkness, just know that you inspired someone today 😊
Same with me I can't wait to be happy again
8 years on, and I still feel the pain... the world is just not as colourful as it used to be
I had my mini Australian shepherd put to sleep she was 16.5 years old and I've had her since she was 6 weeks old.
Oh my 😢 I’m so sorry. My cousin just did the same for his 15 yr old pittie.
Rest in peace to your four legged friend and my condolences to you, hope you have love and support system around you in this hard time
So very sorry!, they are such a huge part of our lives
Losing a pet is one of the hardest grief I've ever had. Just know you gave your baby a good life.
😢😢
It's been a couple of days and I finally understand the quote "Nothing takes more patience than trying to heal yourself". I have dated an affluent and very powerful man. We broke up and it just feels like life has no meaning anymore. The worst part is that I know no man is going to compare to him and I can't talk to anyone about it because I have signed an NDA. Maybe no one will see my comment, but I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Affluent & powerful, but still just a man.
I was dating this girl for 6 months. Never felt any love like this. It was magic, she broke up with me. 16 days ago, came around but after a huge argument she said stop texting me. I never experience a pain like this. Everything reminds me of her.
Sending hugs to all suffering heartbreak. We can get through this.
I came here after 1 year getting out from 7 years of relationship whom he cheated on me (found he was taping a sex video with multiple womens. and he was invited them to his house). I forgive him twice. This resulted can’t breathe, sleep while crying, wake up because of cry, unending blaming, zombie everyday, cry in the office, cry again after home, loss 15kg during the mourning, no going out, feel torture and pain because when I wake up every morning, I still alive.
After one year, it would get better. I promise you as I wished last year I rather die than feel these torturing pain was constantly hitting every time you breath. The pain is real. The heart broken is real. I also could understand after experienced this real pain the heart literally shattered into pieces until you feel the physical pain around heart location. However, I promise you, just to hang in there. You would get better one day and seeing to live is a actually blessing. ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤
My anger is why dint I protect myself better....I had a toxic childhood,it wasn't my fault, I have to forgive myself ,it wasn't my fault, love myself,have compassion for myself and move on and never give permission to let anyone hurt me again if I recognize toxicity.❤
I feel lIke I'm going to struggle with this for the rest of my life.
Me 2.. its been years since the break up.. still painful.. very much
I’ve been through so much and couldn’t afford to have my heart shattered impossibly further. For my own sanity, I’m not trying anymore. No one will get a chance to date me let alone ghost me, again. I’ll pretend romance and relationships don’t exist.
I see you love fries and soda now. It's just as dangerous, I think.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Really? How do i find one please?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
I just wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart that is now healed because of you.
It was exactly one year ago when I broke up with my girlfriend, I was so heartbroken that I tried absolutely everything to change my life from the roots. I was so depressed, I didn't want to get out of bed. But I never gave up on myself, I started watching your videos and every day I worked on my mental health.
Now I feel better than ever and I know this is just the beginning
I just wanted to say thank you and I know how much comments like this can help others, believe me, I know this from experience. Keep your head up, take care of yourself, never give up, put your life in God's hands and everything will be alright in time.
❤❤❤
Well done ! Never gave up
Hiii. It's been 6 months for me and I still have days when I feel really sad. I do hope that one day soon, I can also get over them completely. Sometimes I feel like I am disappointed in myself that even after half a year it still affects me
@@shakhzosh Hi bro, don't worry, it's normal
I was the same.
Even after almost a year since brake up i wasn't fully over it, but there is no roles
Someone will deal whit it faster, someone slower.
A year is average time for your heart to heal.
Just focus on yourself and u will see after some time how good you will feel
Keep your head up 💪
I believe I came to you for a reason, I asked God to show me what video I needed to click on to speak to my heart. I can feel my heartbeat, I got to the part of the video where he started mentioning unattended grief. Instantly I started sobbing and I didn’t even know I had anymore tears left. This is a hard part of my life but I believe it was for a better purpose to shape me into character I’m meant to be. Thank you for making this video, it has helped me. 🙏🏽
Watching this video stirred up old emotions, leaving me longing for my ex and struggling to move forward.
Saying goodbye to someone dear is hard. When my 12-year relationship ended, I couldn't move on. But with help from a spiritual counselor, we reunited. Now, I'm happy and grateful
Could you advise me on how I can meet the counselor you've mentioned?
I'm glad you're interested! To connect with Suzanne Ann Walters, the spiritual counselor I mentioned, just look her up online. Her guidance is worth seeking
thanks a lot. I will do just that
stupid pathetic bots
"You know how staying the same feels like" -David. Thank you
My husband cheated on me and divorced me and then my mum died for sudden cardiac arrest while I was w her w my kids. And after 7 years my heart is still is broken
I’m so sorry, sending you peace and comfort
Words won’t begin to express how deeply sorry I am for you not only because I can relate to some of the things you’ve gone through but because no one deserves it. You have the strength to get back and build back up
This is so terrible. I'm so sorry
This is sad, I'm so sorry. I pray God heals you
God only knows why things happen... you're stronger than you know. Heartbreak sucks... you won't ever be prepared to deal with it or get through it as quickly as we'd like. You're going to get through this for you and your family. My prayers and thoughts are with you❤
How many times we hear "Move on", "Get over it" after a heartbreak. Nobody knows that is truly a pain, not just emotionally, but often physically. Noone will tell you after you loose somebody, who died, that it is time to move on... So strong and deep ideas. Thank you!
This just made me take a deep step back on my entire life and decided to heal for real this time
One of the best videos on internet
and believe me I am working as a psychologist/ psychotherapist, I have seen tons of videos.
Thank you!
me too sister
This video caught me off guard. It is a very good one. My long-time therapist is this kind of kind human. The real thing. Rare!
I broke down the moment he started talking. I’ve been going through the grief of losing my dad and the grief of losing a person I love! So painful!
I wonder how this works when after 25 years I still miss the love of my life and the only one to blame is myself as I left him for another man. I live with regret to this day!
Having lost my grandma a few weeks ago, this resonates with me so much. She's the first person I've ever lost in my life and I am still so shocked by how hard it is to let her go. She called me every single day and just knowing someone cared that much to do that made me smile everyday. I've come to realize that the hardest part of life is when the person who gave you so many amazing memories becomes a memory.
Aww that’s touched me so much. You were going through your own heartbreak whilst helping us. That just shows what a pure sole you are Matthew. Thank you for helping us.
I’m coming out of the other side oh a heartbreak now after so much self-reflecting, learning and working so hard to become the better version of myself.
Sitting with the pain is unbearable but you have to! Like you have said, you’ve to get into the storm to come out of it sooner. Wise words and so true.
I once read that ‘there’s only one person you spend your whole life with …‘yourself’! So true. Be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. I was in a very bad place but weeks of therapy and listening to various podcasts like yourself. Lewis Howes (who has had you on his podcast too!), Mel Robbins and Gabby Bernstein - you have all helped me to get to where I am. Thank you so much.
I’ve forgiven so I can be free! I’ve no bitterness now. I’m at peace finally
Its am emotion. It is a storm. You cant predict life. You can only live every storm
A woman was once that voice for me. I hope she stays happy forever and nothing touches her.
I’ve been crying every day for the last 3 months… and I’ve known the majority of the time only some of the tears are for that relationship that ended then.
I feel like I need to cry for a year at least. It’s daunting.
Let is out! wishing you the best in your healing ❤❤
Chin up, be proud of the love you gave. The sun will shine again,the birds sing ,you'll smile, laugh and love again x
When I was depressed and walking out of it baby steps and held hope that one day it wouid be different I used to remind myself I couidnt see the next good thing but that’s because I’m in the middle of the cloud , I’m
Surrounded by the cloud of course I can’t see anything else. So you too might feel like that .. try not to get daunted , it will get more bearable xx
Going through exactly the same right now
Already 19 months. She was (is) the absolute love of my life. She was sincere and told the truth. She could not stay. I was (and in a certain sense still am) shattered. I cannot even go out with another woman because it's as if I am terrified to hurt the woman's feelings; I dont lie and I dont deceive. It is the fear of a woman feeling used or mistreated in any way by me.
You can see in Matthew's eyes that this is touching for him too. We can actually feel he relates to our pain, that's hardcore empathy and it's really helpfull. Thanks!
The grief I am experiencing is the loss of my stepchildren. As a man who never had children himself I found myself loving them more than I expected.
The grief of knowing that their mother is damaging and damaged. That I can't be with her anymore and in knowing that and leaving that meant leaving them.
I've been facing this storm for awhile now and I'm waiting for it to pass. However I accept that it might take awhile and also accept that the damages will be severe when it ends.
I started crying a few minutes in, and kept crying. This video was very cathartic for me, thank you.
❤
I’ve been grieving my whole life 😢
I am old enough where I can see things from the end. I have seen these things before and I know what to expect under various situations.. I avoid getting invested until I feel safe. If it falls apart it falls apart. No love lost if it really wasn't there to begin with. I try to discern these things before it goes to far. As a result, people have become very transparent over the years, so I no longer get disappointed.
Only you can decide when you are ready to heal and move on. It doesn’t take time, it takes you and you being ready! Your heart deserves all the attention you are giving it. Usually an initial heartache opens the chambers to past heartaches so it becomes an entire life healing process. Dig deep! You are worth it!
Don’t let anyone rush you or pressure you to go back to “normal” or how things were before you got hurt, either. There is no such thing as normal anyway; trust that the new “healed” you will thrive!! Trust yourself and who you are❤
You are the greatest miracle in the world and someone’s most precious blessing. 🙏🏽
I am going through heart break since last month after dating someone for 2yrs but he betrayed me. The emotions are raw and are on and off. One minute you are feeling OK, the next you are in a v sad place, v tearful and lost. I am v hopeful I will overcome
Grief from loved one dying and from a loved one leaving/rejecting you is a scream inside you that only you can hear
Love the buffalo story! I’ve learning that the only way to get through the grief and heartbreak is to let myself go through it with love and care!
I cried. This video is a whole blessing. Yes, David’s analogy, his voice, everything. Thank you ❤
❤
Video came at a perfect time. Almost made it to 4 years-I grieve the girl I was before we met but it’s ok to grieve and then look forward to better things.
That analogy of the buffalo walking INTO the storm sums me up completely. Whatever bad stuff happens I fall to pieces worrying BUT I head straight toward whatever it is and hang on for dear life ‘til it’s sorted. Sadly my ex was an ostrich - buried his head in the sand thinking the storm wouldn’t find him. It did.
I cried for how true this video is… I just had my heartbreak; my boyfriend betrayed me. I’ve been angry for quite some time for what he did. But right when you said “anger is a bodyguard for pain”, I cried instantly. I realized that I avoided the sadness of losing our future together…
Pain is difficult to address especially if the wound is still there n has not fully healed there’s things only u and God can face unspoken pain …. Be kind to urself heal again your worthy of Love ur worth it Heal
I have been going through a heartbreak for a very long time now. I´ve been trying different things to get through it but I always come back to the pain it feels mainly because I´ve been alone for a very long time. My ex girlfriend moved on very fast from our relationship and is now soon to have a baby. Eventhough I am very happy for her, she really deserves a lot of happoiness, I don´t feel I am able to overcome my heartbreak. I once felt it was a something i could control but i still find myself having the same issue, which affects my self confidance and my own self love... for which i have none. It is very tough. But i thank you for your words Matthew. You are very kind.
One of your best videos. What a masterpiece. Thank you for constantly evolving and bringing this content to a hurting world.
I have been dealing with a heart break I was feeling anxious I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate in work it took over me. Everybody in work noticed a change in me but I was too ashamed to tell them it was over an x boyfriend. We think we should be strong enough to deal with a heartbreak but it's too painful. Thank you so much for this video very powerful it really made me think of myself and how I accepted someone who wasn't worthy of having me in their life. I feel empowered now thank you❤
I am going through this same heart break as well...I can't eat..I can't sleep, I cry all the time...I just want to be numb...I don't want to feel anything 😢
I feel the same.
Hope you get over your heart soon remember you are worth more than that and he is not the only man in the world. There will be someone better for you and you will look back and think what was I doing.❤
@@ediedonohoe7512 ❤❤
@@ediedonohoe7512 I just miss him so much :( and he wants us to remain friends and quite desperately, too but I told him I need to break off the attachment or I'll continue to suffer. Now I'm having second thoughts, I almost can't bear this pain of not talking to him
I have been married for 49 yrs to a man i thought I knew. He betrayed me by having an affair for 31 years. We moved away from this person some 1200 miles. Her husband dies and she moves to our state 7 miles from our home. My husband has always denied anything between them. Now he has dementia. I suppressed those feelings all those years. Never did I suspect anything. Perhaps I didn’t want to believe that. I am truly experiencing the grief, anger and heartbreak. I purchased this book because I expect I am going to really need to read all of it.
Hey I hope you are okay and you'll be okeyy you're so strong!
@@shalinipathania518 Thank you so much. I need all the encouragement that I can get.
I cried. Actually, I have been crying from time to time, especially when I think of him. There are so many memories, and everything I see triggers me intensely. I don't know if time can heal me in the end. All of life is a process of recovery that never ends.
Maybe he just someone that come to you life to teach you smth, and if it meant to be it will workout. I move to another city by myself had a gf there and we raised a cat together know im alone with all the memories and an always hungry pig but it will get better or you will get better at handling it, wish you the best
There is a reason behind your grief. You will get stronger Trust me. What is situation now can you tell me?
@@propro693 I just thought about the happy times I had with him and started crying again. I'm feeling so sad and wanted to find someone to talk to online, and then I saw your message. I think it's the synchronicity.
@@freesoul0109 Maybe. You can talk to me any time you want
@@propro693 Thank you, you are a very kind person. How can I rerach you?
I saw myself as a little girl on a mountainside.. I saw my parents walk past and abandon me and within a flash all my abusers use me, hurt me and leave me. God is the only one that hasn’t used me, abused me or left me. I pray my heart will heal from all the grief 🙏🏼
If you are trying to say something, don't keep this to yourself. I learned of a horrific abuse of a child a few years ago and this person began healing after talking about it. (It was the worse case of childhood torture). Free yourself from these people that hurt you. God bless you and you will heal.
Thanks to God, I consider myself as a person who really healed moved on. it is just an incredible feeling, it is like you are not caring anymore. 🙏🏽❤️
This is so good! We are all in grief. All the time.
Heartbreak and grief i feel is the contribution to the start of that concrete jungle inside of us, you never know what you are going to face next. Matt thankyou
I had just recently confessed to a girl my age that I had strong feelings for her and she had told me she was already committed to a relationship with someone and I felt so numb until I decided to pray to God and I was never a religious person but when I prayed just tingles and shivers ram through me and I just burst into tears and before I had even prayed I wasn’t feeling much I just felt so disconnected
My partner and i getting married, in 2 moths and 3 days ago he got cold feet and hasnt spoken to me for 3 days. Saying he want to find himself. I give him space and just wait for the final blow to me happen. It is like being on the sinking titanic waiting for certain pain before the numbness and quiet. I can't express what this feeling is. Although i cling of the hope that my partner see something after evaluating his decision to still be with us and fight it through. He claims himself for me not being the reason behind it but he feels that the change is scary with all the responsibility.
Im not here to shame him or make me seem like the person with more pain then him but i really want this nightmare to end. Thanks for this video it helped me to confront this feeling and it feels already a little better.
The worst grief is yours… this resonated so much. Seven months on from the unwelcome reality that the love my life is no longer a part of my future I am still heartbroken 💔 it’s time to attend to my grief thank you for the video
Thanks for being so raw with us. Moving conversation.
When you talked about anger that really hit me hard. I realize the anger that pops up in me is grief. Grief of trusting people who hurt me. Grief of relationships I thought I had that were an illusion romantic & family. Grief for the time I felt I wasted with someone who never really loved me. Even grief for the passing of my father that I never really felt and kelp busy to disguise the pain.
Just last night I finally mustered up the courage to break free from a toxic and abusive 2-year relationship with a partner who’s been lying to me since forever. Really difficult what I’m going through right now but it is what it is. Thank goodness I bumped into this video as I start w/ my healing process. It’s gonna be a long bloody one, I know, but I’m confident I will emerge triumphant. So help me God.
We are here with you ❤
Thank you, Matthew. Means a lot to me. Love your contents. Stay awesome!🫡
Thank you for this beautiful truth Matthew.
I lost my life partner 12 years ago and every relationship since has opened old wounds when they ended.
It hurts and I’m a buffalo and stuck it out head on.
I’m now healing again with a spiritual Buddhist leader.
Many blessings to you.
WOW. So much heartbreak - relationships, deaths, all of it. Im so tired of being pissed, hurt, so ready to heal
Wow, Matthew. I love your amazing storytelling ability as you explain how we feel and why, all the deeper levels we must connect to. I know for me, as a 25 yr old woman, I rarely feel anger. I never was allowed to be angry growing up, so I've always felt very disconnected to it as an emotion. Even when I feel annoyed, I worry more about what a burden that will place on others who perceive me that way. I wonder in what ways I can explore anger in a healthy way, that allows me to understand myself better. Thank you for this realisation ❤
I think it works both ways to what Matthew said about anger covering sadness. For those who were encouraged not to express anger as children, as though it is an unhealthy and unwelcome emotion, sadness could be the cover for the anger underneath. As humans we have a full range of emotions that simply cannot be expressed without another. That's the beauty to know joy when we have known pain.
In the end it's all about what emotions are more 'comfortable' to express. For some people anger is uncomfortable. In my household, for example, there was lots of anger and it was very normal, however, when sad it was always 'don't cry'. Therefore, for me personally, expressing sadness underneath anger has been a journey because I didn't know what that looks like. For 2 years I couldn't cry in my late 20s. I called it cry constipation.. it was awful. Now, after much meditation and self inquiry, I cry regularly. It feels amazing to let that energy flow. I feel so blessed to have the ability to feel what I am feeling. It is truly God's gift 💝
I hope you can connect with your anger. Sacred rage is a wonderful motivating tool to work with 💖