What it has always shocked me is after spending years together, sharing lots of wonderful things, they can abandon you all of a sudden, finding someone else in a month and simply acting as though they've never met you. The level of coldness and lack of empathy has actually traumatized me.
@@critianclassico8208 Thanks for asking! I'm good, yeah, I've got immunity now and expect nothing from them, I know how the game works. Young men and teens should be advice not to rely on women cos' the story won't end nice. Women don't want a man, they want men and can get them easily. Not my biased opinion but the state of the culture. Your girl will leave the new guy, remember that. Don't take them seriously, move on, train, read, study, work hard, find good friends. All the best, my brother!
Gutted. Utterly devastated. In shock. Shattered. Abandoned. Rejected. Discarded. Dismissed. Over. Sadder than i could ever imagine. I do not wish to take another breath. 30 years-monkeybranched. Today, i cry. Tomorrow, he will cry. It will be too late for him. I was a DOMESTICATED DIVA and I LOVED HIM WELL. HIS HOME WAS HIS CASTLE....all that has tumbled....ge will miss the poshness, love and peace! His chocolate drawer-empty. No perfume on his pillow. No gourmet cookies....no happy easy going wife!
No one loves me. I have no friends, no kids, no love. I am always rejected and I got rejected by the woman I was trying to marry but she didn’t want me. Some of us like me are nothing but worthless trash
Time heals all wounds. We all crave connection, soon you will found a better person and a better connection . That person is perfect, is just an illusion.
In my second reply, I was saying that no one is perfect, it's just our stupid brain, memories, false image of that person and addiction of that person which fools us , make us believe, that person is our perfect match
She left me 3 days ago. I haven’t felt so shattered in my life. I saw a future, she saw incompatibility. I simply don’t understand. Life feels so dark and lonely. I hope you guys are all okay. We will get through this.
Same. We were together for 5 years(3 yrs in LDR) and one day he just said that our personalities are too different and we have different definition of love. Basically, we're not compatible.
Same here… He ghosted me and I dunno if he’ll be coming back or it’s forever.. I gave my best ,invest time to him,we planned for the future together even having our own kids…but now I realized that it’s only a “prank “.Can’t sleep,can’t eat but I’m trying my best to do my best at work..and yeah I have to move on..
It's the lack of empathy and the coldness that i still can't understand. I stood by her, nursed her when she was sick, forgave her for her lack of effort, i wasn't the best but i was always in her corner. 3 months later when i thought i had moved on it hit me like a tone of bricks finding out that she's engaged. How does one make sense of this?
Personality disorder traits are a real thing, and if traits were present in her then you can’t make sense of it. I’m sorry what you went through, I went through something similar
It does make sense, your not meant for each other. It's simple...move on you will meet another woman who you boh will have more in common and love each other...you need to believe
She was most likely already seeing this person when she ended it. I’m really sorry, this happened to me too. She’s gotten engaged after 3 months. That will crash and burn and you’ll be happy with someone else, cause you’ll take your time to heal. ❤
I can get over a break up...what I never understood the need to completely destroy someone on the way out. You have to be a cold, cold, heartless motherf**ker to do that; don't expect that person to welcome you back. She showed who she really is.. believe her.
If they move on too fast. They were emotionally out of the relationship. And just there physically. Don’t ignore the signs. His or her behavior is the answer.
@JoshuaBaris-je6ws A narcissist moves on very fast because they are parasites, they jump from host to host. The new person will eventually be the old person, and the pattern of abuse continues. There is no love involved in ANY of their relationships, they suck you dry and move on.
imagine telling whats wrong, so the partner have a chance to do something about it. I know it sounds crazy, but thats called "being a grown up adult". Something women have yet to master.
Just another perspective for everyone to consider. I’m a portrait photographer and I used to photograph both weddings and families. My work has been both nationally and internationally published. A particular image comes to mind. A bride and groom on their wedding day. The image of a true life fairy-tale romance. They both looked like models. Like royalty. Deeply in love with each other. The image was published in a magazine. Anybody could have picked it up at Barnes and Noble and stared at it, wishing they had that. And do you know what I remember when I look at that photo now? That I manipulated them into the pose I wanted, expression included. And that the groom was extremely cranky and over it. And wanted to know when he could stop having his photo taken and go smoke a cigarette. And in front of me, the bride used some *very* strong words to get him to pull it together. That’s what I remember. I saw the same thing with a family shoot. The photo could not paint a better picture of domesticity. And the couple fought right in front of me. I heard the husband call the wife a “psycho”. And I just stood there, awkwardly, waiting for them to calm down. My point is that yes, some couples are genuinely happy after leaving their previous relationships. And no, not everything is a facade. But be careful if you compare yourself to professionally taken engagement, wedding or family photos. In general, people are good at turning it on for the camera. So when a professional is directing them, forget about it. Even with photojournalistic images, we throw plenty out and keep a selected few to tell a story. A story that we have the power to manipulate a bit. I had my heart absolutely shattered 3.5 years ago. I’ve never fully recovered. And I’m somewhat convinced that I’ll never find anybody now that I’m 40. I recently saw on social media that my ex and his new bf have gone to Disney World several times. And it triggered me. Disney was always my thing. He proposed to me just outside of Disney. The flash mob proposal video went viral. We looked…”perfect”. It’s easy to envy them. Then I remember. He proposed to me in Disney because I loved Disney. He hated it. When I suggested we grab wedding brochures while at Disney, he was like, “why would we want to get married on the Disney property?” At the airport a couple of days later, he picked a fight with me. And as we flew home in first class…newly engaged…Diamond on my finger…we flew home, in complete silence. Moral of the story: Be careful what you’re jealous of-it might be a facade. And for every good thing you miss about them, think of three things you couldn’t stand about them. The more you do that…the more you realize that their new person is now the likely recipient of all that…the more you’ll realize that you quite possibly dodged a bullet.
I’m 38, female, British born and raised, Indian ethnicity, single, 5’5, slim, and a Nurse. Never engaged, married or have kids but want it all. I thought I’d met the one on a first date recently but turns out he was a player - it destroyed me for the last 3 weeks because I really liked him and thought he liked me. Recently, feeling better now. I’m leaving it to Karma to sort him out.
I made wedding bands for a living. Very quickly I got a sense for what marriages were based on a solid loving foundation and what ones would not even make it a year. There are a million tiny red flags to be seen if the eyes are open. But so many are focused on the goal of getting married - but not on creating a foundation of a quality loving relationship to weather lifes storms over the years. Like you said, a guy calling his wife "psycho". The relationship can either be a death by a 1000 slices or 1000 acts that build a loving, emotionally present strong long lasting relationship. And your ex - doing things with the new person that he did with you - I guarantee the replacement partner feels invisible and like a replaceable widgit, because your ex is still going thru the motions and routines of your relationship with him - meaning he's not even relating to the new person at all.
@@armandopacheco1245 let’s goo!! I just did my first jiu jitsu tournament! 🙌🙌 and am on my 7th month of weight training!! A lot of progress since! I’m proud!!
I"m happy that there are so many of us that needed to hear this.. because even though the path is hard, in the end we become not only ok, but much better than we were before.
Anyone currently going through this, please be gentle and kind with yourself in your thoughts and actions...this is when you need love and kindness to self the most. Do not make this mean anything about you!
Cut them off completely & don't waste a second more time on them. Tell yourself it was an error of judgment on your part & congratulate yourself for getting out. Simple as that. You'll probably hate them one day anyway so just get out
Here's what helped me within 6-8 weeks: - hitting a gym - starting a new hobby - going on solo trips and creating new memories - when mental pain hit i picked up my dumbbels and smashed it out - started dating and literally got my male energy back (6 dates within 3 months, all ok, ultimately did not lead anywhere because i was not searching for attachment or commitment) fight the fight, move on, live life to the fullest
I've been hitting gym too and picking up a bowflex set definitely helps. On my birthday she just gladly posts she's in a rebound. Yeah, kinda hurts until I think about it. I'm a bit of a sex starved manwhore, and on my birthday I took a girl out and went to town on her. I didn't even realize it until I counted but I've already banged 5 people and the last seems like it's gonna be a regular thing so I'm also rebounding to a degree lol but at least I'm not gonna be a fucking moron like she is and pick my downgrade and try to force what she had with me on the new guy.
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. My ex wife told me she has met someone else 17 hours ago, and it hurts. What was described in this video is almost exactly what I'm going through. We were together for 20 years, and whilst it wasn't perfect, I was in love. We split a year ago, her choice, but to find out she's met someone has hit me harder than the initial breakup. In the brief conversation we had, I was already compared to him, my shortcomings laid out. It's been such a blow, I'm struggling to cope with it. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, I didn't expect that would be achieved with someone else. Thank you for the advice.
Those kinds of individuals who leave someone because of a new exciting chase for another person, I promise you, these people will never be happy. It'll be the same script over and over, of getting used to the person, getting comfortable until everything becomes familiar, till then one day, they try to find someone new again.
You're so right. My ex of 1 year and 4 months checked off so many of my boxes, did all the "right" things. Then out of the blue on Monday he breaks up with me out of nowhere because I deserve better, he's gonna work on himself, etc. Then, I find out the day he broke up with me and was telling me that whole script, he was holding hands with another girl, and now they're all over each other, the thing is, she looks almost exactly like me. It took me hearing this to realize, I never really knew him as well as I thought and I feel that the comfortability and lack of excitement made him leave, but that's okay because I was the bestest thing that ever happened to him. I guarantee no one will put up with the things he does
@@f4ggysm4llsdon’t put up with those things again from anyone else. People that are bad in relationships are the ones that do things like this. It happened to me and he came back twice. Probably because I’m a ninja at putting up with bs. I’m learning not to be that person, it gets you no where good!
It’s taken me 2 years to heal from the same type of situation. I watched him give another girl everything I had to practically beg for. I thought he wasn’t good at love, but turns out.. he’s an Olympic swimmer at love. Just not for me. I wanted to move on like he did, but I couldn’t. I decided that me loving people doesn’t mean they have to love me back, and as much as I was giving love I wasn’t giving it to myself and I think that important, because you wouldn’t put up with anything subpar #Humbled
My ex did something similar. I was in a situationship with him for two years, but when he couldn’t commit, I decided to let it go. We had our misunderstandings, especially because he was talking to other women. One woman, in particular, was the final straw that ended things for good. Now, ten months later, he tells me he's getting married to that same woman. I'm in shock because he always claimed he wasn't capable of being serious with anyone. Yet, here he is, ready to commit. This woman doesn't seem special to me, yet I can't stop comparing myself and wondering why I wasn't enough for him to commit to after two years together. Why did he choose her so quickly after supposedly having commitment issues for so long? He strung me along for two years, and it all amounted to nothing. I’m heartbroken and still hoping to find my person. But I’m so tired of searching. I don't understand how less than a year can change so much. This past year, I focused on my professional growth and made significant strides, yet I’m still left wondering how I ended up here.
not necessarily, you might put feelings into subconsciousness for years and on surface it looks like you moved on. But it causes clinical depression subsequently
Still healing from the biggest betrayal of my life a little over a year ago and this is exactly what I felt and I decided to focus in my inner healing and stayed single to this day and now I can say that everything was a blessing in disguise… I can honestly say I am now thankful it happened because I was able to understand and believe my true worth… he is with someone else but know we were definitely not at the same level and understand I had to heal many things within me … I am so very proud of myself for the way I have pulled myself up from everything that has tried to destroy me … don’t ever give up on yourself!
Hello, so happy for you. I am also finding myself and rn the pain is unbearable but i am still taking one day at a time and trying to flush things out.
@@SoyosauceI'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
@@akashshukla6841I'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
I went through a betrayal this year and Matt thanks to u ,i am single,working out,giving my career time and being the best version of myself that i can!
My ex broke up with me 9months ago. We had been together for a little over a year. He never posted anything about me on social media, which didn’t bother me at the time. About 6 weeks after our breakup he was already in another relationship and posting about her all the time everywhere. He would put up captions saying “thanks for putting up with me” lol wish I would’ve gotten that since I did put up with him 😂 honestly it hurt to see him seemingly love someone the way I wanted him to love me. But it also helped me to move on and truly focus on healing. Now 9 months post breakup he’s refollowed me on social media and has liked all my posts… it seems he’s trying to come back while still in his current relationship. A few months ago I would have eaten that up, but now I’m seeing him in a different light and I know I don’t want him back. Thanks Matt for your encouraging videos… it’s helped me so much! Much love to you and yours ❤
This actually happens to me and also she pass for time with the new guy more than she ever passed with me, but i learn the lesson we only need our validation, not seeking for the external one.
My heart hurts so bad!!! Two weeks out and I’m like a walking zombie ready to burst into tears at any moment. I work in a very social situation and I’m struggling minute to minute to act normal.
Had a beautiful 3 year relationship. Someone else suddenly walked into his life and he cheated and then ended up leaving me for her a day later. It’s so hard to cope, especially when he was so loving and caring towards me up until the very moment he met her. Thank you for your words ❤️
I was replaced within 2 weeks afterall I did so so much for him. It shattered me , I was broken into pieces I'm still in the process of healing. It's really really heart breaking
Still healing. I was taught a lesson of a life time. Now focusing on developing myself. Just realising that I didn't do much because focused on her too much.
Stop wondering why this happened and realize it was meant to be. I have said this times ands times that I am never tied to someone who leaves me. It’s just that their part in my story is over. I am writing a new one 🙂❤️
I’m 54, divorced, and was just in a 6-yr relationship with someone who is 57 and divorced. He told me last month, ON VACATION, that we grew apart, and shouldn’t see each other anymore. He told me that I should go home, after 3 days. We were absolutely perfect for each other. He constantly told me he loved me so much because I was so supportive and helped him become such a positive, courageous person. I’m still in shock. I still cry myself to sleep and awake crying after 4 weeks. He has broken my heart and devastated me. 💔.
I experienced this about 2 years ago. I stuck with him through his hard times only for him to turn around and give his healed self to someone new. They did the travelling that we had planned. It was horrible, I was shattered and I went through hell. However, it taught me to made more self-reliant, nothing can hurt me anymore.
May no one ever go through a heart break during pregnancy or sickness. 2024 will be a year of great and mightier things in love and every aspect of life❤
It took me only 2 - 3 months to get over my ex-wife. I still love her to this day, but I am so glad I left her. I'm fortunate because I made SURE that I did not look for distractions during my heartbreak, but instead, worked towards working on figuring out how to love myself genuinely instead of faking confidence. I didn't think it was possible until now. So HANG IN THERE. The pain will end sooner once you learn how to live on your own terms! Trust the process!
Just know that it's their loss and you cannot control anyone. I was cheated on and lied to by my husband of almost 20 years. Lost tons of weight took a year and a little bit more to get over it. I still have problems trusting because of someone who supposedly cares for you so much for so long to do this what makes me think that no one cant do this. This is a hard one to get over but I think I'm almost there. I fully intend to love with my whole heart I'm not gonna let his mistakes hold me back. He won't and can't destroy my good heart!
I don’t even know you, but i. care about you. i don’t believe i have to know someone to care about them and your empathy. makes me care for you. hope you’re doing better, it’s. been a year…
I spent years loving someone, to the best of my abilities. What hurts now is to unlove the same person after the breakup! Loving her was easier I think.
I've been with the same partner for 17 years this past Monday (since I was 19) After a midlife crisis after turning 40, he recently left me for one of his 'friends'. I feel completely abandoned, betrayed, heartbroken and devastated that this has happened to me. Not only do I have to mourn the loss of the future we had planned, but the amazing life I once shared with this person. I also have to mourn the loss of the version of him I once loved/knew and come to terms with the fact that he no longer exists. I feel like I'm mourning the death of my best friend and my soul mate. I will get through this, but I have never felt so lost and heartbroken in my entire life.
Experienced heartbreak about 4 months ago. Takes time, effort, and energy to process the whole thing especially when you’d never expect they’d do such a thing and break up with you :( Thank you, Matthew
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Yrs ago i had a love so strong it changed my life. She broke my heart and moved on. I've had relationships since but my heart never really really has felt the same since. I'm only realising now I'm still dealing with the turmoil that past gave me. It's not just as easy as move on she doesn't care. I know my neuro spicy brain perceives and feels different to the average person. But one day my soul will be free from weight.
You will heal in time and if you do the work. But is it fair to get into serious relationships and end up hurting others and not being able to love them to the same degree they love you?
@@jessicajackson1200 it wasn't, and that's why I ended it with my most recent. She deserves someone who fits her needs and long term dreams better, and with love I had to let her go. I want to feed the inner dragon so I'm not chasing the external ones, and causing destruction along the way
Thank you so much for talking about this! I went through something similar this year. My ex said that he couldn't think of being in a relationship in his life or anytime sooner. He pleaded to me saying that he had to focus on his work and he wanted to be alone. He cried to me saying that he couldn't put any effort in the relationship. He chose to be physically intimate with me even a day before the break up. I gave my all in those six months of the relationship. I missed to notice all the red flags and I celebrated him. He ended the relationship over a call. In two months, I found him with another girl that broke me completely. I felt deceived and used. When I was already running to hospitals, I started falling more sick. I lost focus on my work. So, I decided to take a break and I am working on myself now. I am spending more time with myself, my friends and my family. I am slowly trying to stop spending my energy on the anger I hold for him. It's working well. I see myself in a place where I can value myself better now.
It is absolutely heart and soul crushing. Same thing happened to me. Showed me a good time intimately and that's the last time I saw him. June 13 of this year. I still cry but, I got started at a local gym, and personal trainer to get started in strength training and swimming, treadmill and I'm going to try a different machine for cardio as well. Best wishes to you!❤
As I am spending my last morning in our home of 13 years, to have this almost identical story and guidance shown to me at this movement gives me a sense that i am seen and the universe is watching. I am so tired of this fight and tired right down to my soul. I know my inner self is so angry at myself, I ignored him so long. I hope I will forgive myself. The journey begins today.
I have lost someone i love. I dont hate her for not choosing me which makes the whole getting over her process hard and its not easy giving up that hope that tells you that somewhere down the road things may work out between us but it is necessary. So , right now im just trying to focus on loving myself, healing and improving myself and its not easy either but nothing good in life is easy to attain. It's a journey and i will find myself again but for now i do the work on myself and accept that this chapter of my life has ended.
Love your videos Matthew. I have learned in past relationships no matter how much it hurts at the time, things always get better and a person comes along who can see your worth. If someone wants to leave never stop them. Wish them well and let the door close on them for ever. We can not make any one love us. They have to want to. I have had exes then try to come back later but never let them back. They had their chance.
@JoshuaBaris-je6ws No story to tell really. Busy with life and Family micro management like every one. Work long 12hr shifts. Have a Family to raise and provide for.
Very good advice! I made the mistake of letting a long distance past love try to come back multiple times over the past 15 years and he recently hurt me again so I have to be done for good this time. I’m so tired of getting my heart ripped out and I’m learning how to set strong boundaries.
@@MelModica It is never to late to reflect and realise some People will never change and will only hurt again if let back into our lives. You deserve someone who values you and respects you and will be Privileged to have you in their life.
It's all the more painful that they've moved onto someone else days after we broke up. 13 years together, and I'm going through so much pain now. It's been less than a week and it's hard to focus and process everything. I'm devastated, and it's so hard for me to try to focus on myself. It's absolutely crushing.
Oh my gosh, Matthew.. it is so validating to hear you speak how someone can suffer constantly from anxiety and pain in a relationship, not being able to tell anyone about it, just fighting with it alone daily.. that was my reality for almost a year and now he just abruptly broke our connection. Im devastated.
I met my wife 15 years ago, I was 21 years old, she was 19. We shared and did everything together, we have been in a relationship for 14 years and married for 5 years, our children are 2 and 4 years old. We often hung out with my best friend, whom I've known for 17 years. About one and a half months ago she told me that my friend and her had fallen in love. When I first heard this I honestly didn't want to live anymore. I couldn't think of our children, I just wanted to die. Still absolutely numb I now somehow try to move forward and focus on our two kids. Sometimes I'd like to fast forward my life to see where the hell this is going and how long the pain is going to stay. I'm still trying to cope with the situation.
Damn bro, i thought i had it hard. And with a friend too, thats terrible. Ive been with this woman i met online for 1.5 years and married 1 year and we have a 11 month daughter. She really mistreated me but I still loved her. She started dating other people and left me heartbroken. Im coping with this but it seems your situation was worse, hope you are doing better now.
I've been fighting this pain every single day since I decided to take a break from dating. I couldn't put my finger on it at all, and your analogy and words were on the money. I thought I was giving up on love but I decided and chose to not give up on me. That's the difference I wasn't seeing. I'm not tempted by things to fill my ego. I feel it in my heart, that all I want in the world is to heal. For the first time I'm doing it right.
My partner left me and our son for someone else. Our relationship had been bad for a couple of years. It lasted for 3 months and he came back to me. I stupidly took him back and he cheated again less than a year later. My self esteem was in my boots. Thanks for this video, there’s a lot of wisdom here. It has been an ego death. I now couldn’t care less about gaining his validation and I know I’ll never look outside of myself again.
If the incident he told was true, I have no reason to complain about my luck. My heartbreak is nothing compared to what the man must have felt. I'm grateful that I didn't have to face something that horrible. 7 Years. My God. Mine was 1.5 years and I went mad for a month. It took me tremendous energy to come back, and I'm still working on it. I still want her back. I pray to get her back. But I'm at a point where I know, that I can live without her and maybe find someone else some other day. Dating apps aren't made for men. It's like everything in the dating world is designed against men. But I will not give up on love. It will find me because I have been a sincere lover. Not all the time, but yes, I have tried really hard to be one.
@smileyglitter852 Thank you! I hope things get better for you. I've pretty much moved on, but I do miss her but that's alright ig. We are going to make it!
Ive been fighting this for 6 years. But ive not wasted my time. Ive done my therapy (for other things but also my self worth) and im doing some lone travelling. Ive realised its better to wait until someone comes along, who has their shit together. Ive spent too much time sipporting others. My last ex moved on within a month. Good luck to him...
we had known each other for nearly a decade, and got into a relationship which lasted for 2 years. At the end, he got married to another girl within 2 weeks after our break up. The worst thing is he was talking to her and cheating on me, but I didnt realized. He put the blame on me at the end... Now from that time 1 year passed. I have been sufferring from a lot of things , my health and relationship with other people around me. But I'm more happy today to the effort towards my self-worth and self-awareness. It is heartbreaking experience anyway
My ex did something similar. I was in a situationship with him for two years, but when he couldn’t commit, I decided to let it go. We had our misunderstandings, especially because he was talking to other women. One woman, in particular, was the final straw that ended things for good. Now, less than a year later, he tells me he's getting married to that same woman. I'm in shock because he always claimed he wasn't capable of being serious with anyone. Yet, here he is, ready to commit when he couldn't with any woman for 30 years of his life including the two years with me. This woman doesn't seem special to me, yet I can't stop comparing myself and wondering why I wasn't enough for him to commit to after two years together. Why did he choose her so quickly after supposedly having commitment issues for so long? He strung me along for two years, and it all amounted to nothing. I’m heartbroken and still hoping to find my person. But I’m so tired of searching. I don't understand how less than a year can change so much. This past year, I focused on my professional growth and made significant strides, yet I’m still left wondering how I ended up here.
In my first relationship it took him 4 months to move on and start a family and it took me 3 years to heal from the trauma. Then with my next partner it took him 2 months to move on and 6 months to marry her, and it took me 2 years to heal. Since then it’s been 4 years and I’ve been single and have no desire to date. I’ve found peace and love with myself 💗
the fact u have to make a comment about it says everything! of course it is. no one would have doubt it. but you making a comment about it tells me you need attention on this topic!
What's Matthew is saying is so true. It's in your worst moments that you can become stronger if you don't give up. I'm living this situation right now and i'm so pleased to find some peace in Matthew's words. Even if you know this, it's always a good reminder to hear it again and again, especially when you have no family nor friends around you. Thank you Matthew to help us. Hanna from France!
I now know the term of my feeling is called "ego death", and it's by far the worst, most horrific feeling I've ever felt in my life. It is literally hell, but now I'm going to focus on my own growth. Thanks, Matthew!
I hate the fact that I wasted 5 years of my life on him. Giving everything I have just to find out that he is engaged and he has another life. I really can’t trust anyone anymore, it hurts every day and I really hope that no one would go through this. Because really it makes me sick every day, I lost passion in life, and what hurts more is when you hear others saying you’re stupid and you allowed this to happen to you. It’s so sad that you really can’t open up to someone completely and talk about how you feel. And they will never understand how painful it is 😢💔
I found out 5 days ago my boyfriend has been dating someone else for the last two years. I had no idea. they are on a cruise right now. No words. I guess I should have been less trusting!
I’m going through it now. My ex was seeing a man behind my back. She moved on gaslighted me and didn’t tell me that she had someone new after 7 years together. You know what I’ve had a gutsful of feeling sad and upset. No more am I going to feel like crap whilst she is carrying on in her new relationship. About time I moved forward. Being successful in my life and work should be wonderful. I love and believe in myself. Love and Peace ❤
Wish everyone who are seeing this video will get recover as fast as possible. It’s pain, it brings us negative energy, it ruins our happiness and makes us live in regret. It keeps us wake up at night and shed the tears. But time will heal the wound. We need to accept that he/she is not the one for us. We just borrowed his/ her from someone else. Our soulmate is waiting us ahead.
Went trought that 4 months ago she suddenly left me and i could not see any red flags after 5yrs of relationship and with a daughter. Only after 1 month of wanting to break up i confronted her and she told she had feelings for someone else. She basically destroyed me and i went trought psychologjst coz i was having suicidal toughts. It was very very hard on me coz i truly loved her. Now im building myself up getting in shape and doing things i like with me and my daughter. I still love her to this day but having her back isnt an option, she betrayed me and lost all my respect. "They dont know me, son" and ill be rising up from this stronger than i ever been. Stay strong, time is the only cure.
its not necessarely an unhealthy attachment to parents. Some of us are just the unlived children. Take me as an example. Im the middle child of 3. Aka the unwanted one.
Watching this, makes me think about how I spent 12 almost 13 years with someone I was thinking about marrying, after discovering she had been lying about the paternity of the three children I thought we had together. Opening those envelopes and seeing the results were the worse moments of my life, I felt like I had failed and couldn’t wrap my head around where things had gone wrong. I still have those thoughts to this day but I made the decision lately to see the good in each day and it’s getting easier to move forward.
I was with him for 16 months. I thought he was “the one”, right up until he wasn’t. We had an argument and abruptly parted ways. He moved on very quickly. This was a man that told me he never met someone like me. This is the man that told me I treated him better than anyone he ever knew. It’s hurts to be broken from the same person your thought you were going to heal with.
I’m working on this during therapy right now and this has been the hardest thing for me to get over. It’s soul crushing when someone you love just doesn’t love you anymore.
"The person that cares less is the person in power. ".... Someone told me that, and if I have another chance (i knowi will), things are going to be really different ...😢
"My ego is not my amigo" - BMTH 🤘 Thanks for this video, I really needed to hear this. 🤗 Just ended an almost 9y relationship with my first love, with one break of 6 months with no contact. We couldn't commit rn, we have different love languages and needs. I showed unconditional love by letting him go so we could heal ourselves. But I'm so scared I'm gonna see him giving everything I ever wanted and needed to someone else. 🥺
I am so sorry you are going through this. But I promise you, you are worth so much more. And yes , you can worry about him showing someone else affection.. but .. he is standing in the way of you finding the “love your life”.
This video is a great source of comfort during tough times. For those looking to heal and grow, the journey to self love workbook by Cameron J. Clark is a wonderful guide.
I still see her every time i close my eyes. I feel wholly incapable of reclaiming myself. I cant enjoy my progress as i cant share it with her anymore. I miss her. And no contact just feels like a huge mistake. I miss my best friend. I miss my other half. 10 years together. 10 months since she left. I dont know why now i feel it so strongly again.
I am going through this now! It was extremely painful... What I did was embrace my pain and my need to grieve, accept that the relationship I was in was rejected, and try to take care of myself. Incompatibility or a change in his emotions or the fact that the way we evolved was not compatible, has nothing to do with me or my ego. Focusing on our Ego can make us jump to unnecessary and painful conclusions.
Hi there my husband left and moved straight in with the girl,he was so comfortable doing that it means that I have been in the dark for a long time, people don't just move in together,they must know each other very well,12 years later his crying over stupid decisions he made ,but I'm much happier now without him, you'll get there give yourself time , hope everything works out for you
I really really needed to hear this today! Currently recovering from a breakup of a 3.5 year long relationship. Time to slay the dragon within ❤ thank you for reminding me!
Worst part about losing your loved ones, is that they are your comfort. Now that they are gone, it feels as if nothing can comfort you, except your ex - and they have no responsibility to do so and they shouldn't.
Higher spirits are horrified at how much unnecessary heartbreak is just everywhere. People treating others like they are disposable. It's not meant to be like this. Im way too damaged to probably ever be in a relationship again. It's too scary to think i could ever feel as bad as i did. 2.5 yrs later and it still making an impact.
Matt, as a regular viewer I am sure more of your audience wants the how to deal with heartbreak related videos rather than the how to date successfully videos. This relates to a personal level, please make more videos on this topic. Finding happiness can be easy but getting over sadness can be tough. Thank you for such amazing videos
Come on ! We are not eternal… billions of people out tente, move on. Detach , let go with grace and move on. You will get there. Be happy alone , love yourself and keep giving love around. Just let go. They are not part of your destiny.
This was amazing I love your videos.I’m actually living proof of everything you said!!! 10 months ago when he left I thought I was going to die, it physically hurt my heart and I was so mentally drained and today I’m in better shape than I ever was, working with a therapist reading way videos brought me through that tunnel to the light! I’m a better stronger me and I’m not young, just wish I had l this years ago! Anyone who’s just going through this I can tell you it 💯 gets better but you need to get motivated!!!! ❤
Never give 100% of yourself to a relationship. Keep your friends, family ties, hobbies and interests. You need to have a piece of yourself reserved in order to come back from something like this. Don’t let your identity be swallowed up into another person and their life or it will take you forever to recover from it.
In the midst of “working things out” she became distant and then on my birthday she said she wanted time to “work on herself” I respected it. However a week later, after looking through our photos i went to look at her profile online and she had already been in another relationship the whole time we were “working things out”. She was living a double life like nothing happened.
My ex husband and I went through a complicated divorce. Looking back I think we could've saved the marriage. He's with someone new now, they've been together for 6 months or so. When they first got together he was still calling me, trying to set things right. I told him xyz needed to happen, and it was always a back and forth. Well one day I asked him if he loved this girl. He said yes, so I told him to stop disrespecting me and her and that if I loved someone new I wouldn't be speaking to him. And he cut me out. He changed his phone number. It really hurts. He chose her and it's okay. I'm happy he's happy. But I'm angry I'm not. I'm jealous he has new love first. It's so complex emotionally. I'm working through it one day at a time. I keep dreaming about them having babies together. And I think it's just processing. But man. That hurts to dream. I wanted it to be me.
To those having heartbreak and reading the comment below: Not everyone has compassion, don’t listen to ‘kevin’, a breakup does not mean that they never valued you. That comment only comes from a hurt soul, thats not your life.
I love this!! ❤😭 I also just want to take a quick min to appreciate Matthew's background (no furniture or tacky vases). To me (personally) it represents a clear mind and an open space with room for self honesty, safe for vulnerability. ❤ Great advice as always
Gosh! I needed to hear this. I didn’t think I needed more help here but this is so validating what I went thru these past 2 yrs. I’ve grown sooo much and now I know why. I had ego death. I was going thru exactly what you said. Everything… But now I’m happier than before and not needing a man to make me happy. Now to tackle the trust issues I have and not be scared of dating
You got this! build up self-trust to lessen the trust wounds. Set out yoru red flags and non-negotiables and honour them no matter what. Speak up when something isn't right and you need to set a boundary Request for needs to be met and see if the other person is willing to see them through. See if they are congruent with their actions lining up with their words! Good luck ❤
This video hit home with me, Mathew. This all happened to me. In a relationship for 24 years and then suddenly discarded. Have done the work in the last 4 years and I have finally learned. This video is so very informative. I can’t thank enough for the video topic. So glad I have found your channel. Thanks
My ex husband after 30 years left, wanting to be best friends. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. But after attending two years of therapy and attending narcissistic abuse and support groups I'm finally piecing years of gaslighting lying manipulation and making me feel like I was losing my mind I'm so angry. as he gets involved with some stupid woman within 3 months, I told her that he was a narc but she didn't get it. So my covert narcissist it's really slick and intelligent just loves to be so helpful to everybody except me. He actually got angry because I asked for spousal support you know I am handicapped after all. I just can't believe these vampires are out there in their bat caves. He gutted me emotionally being crushed to death which I almost killed myself because of the f head thank God my divorce is over with I'm growing and moving on
I was 36 years and he had me replaced in two weeks,in a way it helped me a bit because I realized he could not care less about me if I was so easy to replace that it angered me and oddly made me stronger.
@annbow4064 Gees two weeks, I just can't fathom being in a relationship like ours, 30 + years, and they are off looking for a new supply. But he is her problem now. In the long run, I got my sanity and my freedom back. Best of luck to you ❤️
It’s funny how so many women blame men. When they file take half and call everyone a narcissist. I don’t get it or believe them. I see nothing but men being destroyed. Txs
Thank you for this. I left a verbally and emotionally abusive man that has borderline tendencies…likely narcissistic too. He’s moved on yet I’m struggling with it. I know it’s not me with the problem…he’s broken. He needs constant reassurance, validation, attention, admiration, etc, etc. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but it’s that gross trauma bond. I’m proud of myself for leaving. Standing strong against a man that pleaded with me, apologized endlessly after every fight yet NEVER changed. I needed these reminders that I’m not the broken one. That I will wait for the one that deserves me ❤
I’m leaving my comment so that I could remind myself of what I’m going through. In my case he broke up due to long distance and I agreed . I was his first relationship he treated me the best . Being in love ,the friendship everything was best until he gave up on me . A part of me died a little that day. But the worse was yet to come he found a rebound within one month of us breaking up. That thing broke shattered whatever remains of my already broken heart. It’s been terrible and it’s been two days since I last contacted him . I’m grieving,continuously crying but I want to heal myself before I jump onto another person. I still love him I can’t help that .
Hang in there. My ex moved on after 2 days! Moved on physically anyway. It crushed me. I cried every day for several months. But over time I am healing. It’s been 5 years and I’m mostly at peace but it took a solid 18 months from the breakup to start to really let her go.
@@BullyMaguire4ever aww sorry to hear that..but I’m glad u are fine now . I’m still healing miss him a lot but I guess it’s the letting go of the hope slowly and gradually that’s helping me a little. I miss him every day but I think we both deserve better him with someone who’s near him and I someone who’s gonna keep choosing me like how I will do the same . So I’m trying to make amends and focus on getting my masters and career goals achieved.
Mathew, you’ve put out a thought that most of us have and struggle with unconsciously - and you put it forward so eloquently and kindly. The work you do really is remarkable and the sincerity always shines through in your videos. Thank you ♥️
It took me 2 solid years to start recovering. She even used my razor to shave her crutch for another man the day she left. We were together for 5 years. I read this somewhere else, i want to pass on this knowledge. She is NEVER YOURS !!! Your just paying to have your turn with her.
Thank you for this. We don't talk about this enough. I'm a psych student. I'm studying attachment and lifespan development. Not at all where I started. I'm both going through a breakup with someone I adored and studying it. This is helpful content. Ego Death. It's hard to see someone you loved in love with someone else. I've also learned immense gratitude for this very thing. It's new to me. I feel both sad and grateful she will be with someone that is for her. We weren't our forever person. We had some great times. Times I will forever be grateful for. I also learned the habits I need to work on, my emotional maturity and to let go of the past. I'll be working on these things. Relationships hurt when they end and can be beautiful - even the endings.
18 years ago, even to this day, I still love the same girl that tore me apart. Within that 18 years I managed to do the slay dragon's process. I grew inside of myself; I became very powerful. I followed my passion and became a SWAT police officer and working on a college degree. I became financially stable in my career, own my own home and vehicles, money in the bank, and still.... I have not moved on. I certainly have become a better person. But I still think about her on a regular basis. I am still unmarried and still no children at 38 years old.
You must let go! You love her because she reflected YOU, back onto you…you loved yourself…she reflected you; she is not that person, trust me! Been through it myself, it is hard to grasp yes, but still a fact…Good Luck❤️🩹
Fearing this happening has kept me in unhealthy relationships for far too long. I am dreading they'll be completely different and loving to someone else.
I just spent 2 years going through this. I was utterly shattered. Could not function at all for 3 months. Stayed in bed & cried so hard I became dehydrated and sick. Ego death is right! I sought therapy, read articles & books, and did some challenging innerwork. I feel like a new person now! I am kind & gentle & loving to myself and even more empathetic, but with boundaries. My self-esteem has never been so healthy. I enjoy my own company. I truly enjoy my life. My friendships & familial relations are deeper & more meaningful. I live in the present without fear or anxiety. I loved this video & intend to share with others! Thank you for this gift!
I’m watching this while crying in the coffee shop, I’m fighting this at the moment.
Sending you a big hug. It's a crushing pain, but I'm 8 months post being ghosted by fiancé. It gets better! ❤
This moment will pass. Let it all out, you deserve the same love you’ve given 🤍
You are not alone. I am too crying and hiding too.
May you be better than yesterday.
Major hugs ❤
It's hard... I get ghosted... I always wanted him to love me but him seeing with someone 💔
What it has always shocked me is after spending years together, sharing lots of wonderful things, they can abandon you all of a sudden, finding someone else in a month and simply acting as though they've never met you. The level of coldness and lack of empathy has actually traumatized me.
Sending love to you wherever you are❤❤... You will get well😊
@@aniket7151 Thanks so much Aniket 😍
@@critianclassico8208 Thanks for asking! I'm good, yeah, I've got immunity now and expect nothing from them, I know how the game works. Young men and teens should be advice not to rely on women cos' the story won't end nice. Women don't want a man, they want men and can get them easily. Not my biased opinion but the state of the culture. Your girl will leave the new guy, remember that. Don't take them seriously, move on, train, read, study, work hard, find good friends. All the best, my brother!
Same!!! Exactly what happened to me 3 months ago… i just cant understand. Broke me to the core of my soul
Most likely the other person had already checked out before you knew it. 😢
Think of it as the quote, "If your absence doesn't bother them, your presence never meant nothing to them".
I believe that 💯
Gutted.
Utterly devastated.
In shock.
Shattered.
Abandoned.
Rejected.
Discarded.
Dismissed.
Over.
Sadder than i could ever imagine.
I do not wish to take another breath.
30 years-monkeybranched.
Today, i cry.
Tomorrow, he will cry.
It will be too late for him.
I was a DOMESTICATED DIVA and I LOVED HIM WELL. HIS HOME WAS HIS CASTLE....all that has tumbled....ge will miss the poshness, love and peace! His chocolate drawer-empty. No perfume on his pillow. No gourmet cookies....no happy easy going wife!
No telling how many people get hurt daily by these demonoids.
Right!!
real
It gets better , it really does. The pain fades and new love emerges from within. Sending everyone Love ❤
Does it really? I'm in tears
so am I @@Happiness71
It takes time
No one loves me. I have no friends, no kids, no love. I am always rejected and I got rejected by the woman I was trying to marry but she didn’t want me. Some of us like me are nothing but worthless trash
men needs lots of yrs to heal...even i am suffering after 1.5 years
Indeed. Don’t let someone who isn’t worth your love make you forget how much you are worth.
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
❤
❤Well said. Thanks for the remainder.
Wow. I’ve read so many comments but these simple few words really hit me. Thank you for this.
Thank you for this 🥲
" If you're the one she doesn't want , then be the one she doesn't have.
Because massive success is the biggest Revenge. "
Me 2. Its dreadful
Time heals all wounds.
We all crave connection, soon you will found a better person and a better connection .
That person is perfect, is just an illusion.
Can you please explain the line? I really need to hear it please. I understood but not fully.. Please 🥺
It means, be extremely successful that she regret her decision of leaving you.
In my second reply, I was saying that no one is perfect, it's just our stupid brain, memories, false image of that person and addiction of that person which fools us , make us believe, that person is our perfect match
She left me 3 days ago. I haven’t felt so shattered in my life. I saw a future, she saw incompatibility. I simply don’t understand. Life feels so dark and lonely. I hope you guys are all okay. We will get through this.
Relationship is hard....Still feeling lost after he dumped me...😢
Me too
Same thing happen to me.. I saw a future but she saw just friends
Same. We were together for 5 years(3 yrs in LDR) and one day he just said that our personalities are too different and we have different definition of love. Basically, we're not compatible.
Same here… He ghosted me and I dunno if he’ll be coming back or it’s forever.. I gave my best ,invest time to him,we planned for the future together even having our own kids…but now I realized that it’s only a
“prank “.Can’t sleep,can’t eat but I’m trying my best to do my best at work..and yeah I have to move on..
It's the lack of empathy and the coldness that i still can't understand. I stood by her, nursed her when she was sick, forgave her for her lack of effort, i wasn't the best but i was always in her corner. 3 months later when i thought i had moved on it hit me like a tone of bricks finding out that she's engaged. How does one make sense of this?
Personality disorder traits are a real thing, and if traits were present in her then you can’t make sense of it. I’m sorry what you went through, I went through something similar
It does make sense, your not meant for each other. It's simple...move on you will meet another woman who you boh will have more in common and love each other...you need to believe
Engaged? After 3 months? 3 months after a dumping You?!
Sorry, but the fuck?! 😮
Her getting engaged only 3 months after tells you everything. She has a big problem. You're better off it.
She was most likely already seeing this person when she ended it. I’m really sorry, this happened to me too. She’s gotten engaged after 3 months. That will crash and burn and you’ll be happy with someone else, cause you’ll take your time to heal. ❤
I can get over a break up...what I never understood the need to completely destroy someone on the way out. You have to be a cold, cold, heartless motherf**ker to do that; don't expect that person to welcome you back. She showed who she really is.. believe her.
I need this thank you
If they move on too fast. They were emotionally out of the relationship. And just there physically. Don’t ignore the signs. His or her behavior is the answer.
If they move on fast, they were probably cheating on you.
@JoshuaBaris-je6ws A narcissist moves on very fast because they are parasites, they jump from host to host. The new person will eventually be the old person, and the pattern of abuse continues. There is no love involved in ANY of their relationships, they suck you dry and move on.
💯
imagine telling whats wrong, so the partner have a chance to do something about it. I know it sounds crazy, but thats called "being a grown up adult". Something women have yet to master.
Women are just so brutal and have no sense that it does not show anything.
Just another perspective for everyone to consider.
I’m a portrait photographer and I used to photograph both weddings and families. My work has been both nationally and internationally published.
A particular image comes to mind.
A bride and groom on their wedding day. The image of a true life fairy-tale romance. They both looked like models. Like royalty. Deeply in love with each other.
The image was published in a magazine. Anybody could have picked it up at Barnes and Noble and stared at it, wishing they had that.
And do you know what I remember when I look at that photo now?
That I manipulated them into the pose I wanted, expression included.
And that the groom was extremely cranky and over it. And wanted to know when he could stop having his photo taken and go smoke a cigarette. And in front of me, the bride used some *very* strong words to get him to pull it together.
That’s what I remember.
I saw the same thing with a family shoot. The photo could not paint a better picture of domesticity. And the couple fought right in front of me. I heard the husband call the wife a “psycho”. And I just stood there, awkwardly, waiting for them to calm down.
My point is that yes, some couples are genuinely happy after leaving their previous relationships. And no, not everything is a facade.
But be careful if you compare yourself to professionally taken engagement, wedding or family photos. In general, people are good at turning it on for the camera. So when a professional is directing them, forget about it. Even with photojournalistic images, we throw plenty out and keep a selected few to tell a story. A story that we have the power to manipulate a bit.
I had my heart absolutely shattered 3.5 years ago. I’ve never fully recovered. And I’m somewhat convinced that I’ll never find anybody now that I’m 40.
I recently saw on social media that my ex and his new bf have gone to Disney World several times. And it triggered me.
Disney was always my thing.
He proposed to me just outside of Disney. The flash mob proposal video went viral. We looked…”perfect”.
It’s easy to envy them.
Then I remember.
He proposed to me in Disney because I loved Disney. He hated it. When I suggested we grab wedding brochures while at Disney, he was like, “why would we want to get married on the Disney property?”
At the airport a couple of days later, he picked a fight with me. And as we flew home in first class…newly engaged…Diamond on my finger…we flew home, in complete silence.
Moral of the story:
Be careful what you’re jealous of-it might be a facade.
And for every good thing you miss about them, think of three things you couldn’t stand about them. The more you do that…the more you realize that their new person is now the likely recipient of all that…the more you’ll realize that you quite possibly dodged a bullet.
“Be careful who you’re jealous of it might be a facade.” Tysm Matthew ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. Keep shining bright, someone will notice soon, I promise.
😢 I could NEVER go back to social media.
I’m 38, female, British born and raised, Indian ethnicity, single, 5’5, slim, and a Nurse. Never engaged, married or have kids but want it all. I thought I’d met the one on a first date recently but turns out he was a player - it destroyed me for the last 3 weeks because I really liked him and thought he liked me. Recently, feeling better now. I’m leaving it to Karma to sort him out.
I made wedding bands for a living. Very quickly I got a sense for what marriages were based on a solid loving foundation and what ones would not even make it a year. There are a million tiny red flags to be seen if the eyes are open. But so many are focused on the goal of getting married - but not on creating a foundation of a quality loving relationship to weather lifes storms over the years. Like you said, a guy calling his wife "psycho". The relationship can either be a death by a 1000 slices or 1000 acts that build a loving, emotionally present strong long lasting relationship. And your ex - doing things with the new person that he did with you - I guarantee the replacement partner feels invisible and like a replaceable widgit, because your ex is still going thru the motions and routines of your relationship with him - meaning he's not even relating to the new person at all.
I’m so sad that there are so many of us that needed to hear this. We got this everyone I know we will be ok!!
Let's do it Panchs!!
@@armandopacheco1245 let’s goo!! I just did my first jiu jitsu tournament! 🙌🙌 and am on my 7th month of weight training!! A lot of progress since! I’m proud!!
Thank you ☺️
🫶🏻💔❤️🔥❤️🩹🥺❤️🩹
I"m happy that there are so many of us that needed to hear this.. because even though the path is hard, in the end we become not only ok, but much better than we were before.
Anyone currently going through this, please be gentle and kind with yourself in your thoughts and actions...this is when you need love and kindness to self the most. Do not make this mean anything about you!
Hi Thais!
Cut them off completely & don't waste a second more time on them. Tell yourself it was an error of judgment on your part & congratulate yourself for getting out. Simple as that. You'll probably hate them one day anyway so just get out
❤Thank You for the reminder.
Thankyou...it smears alot right now
🙏🙏🙏
Here's what helped me within 6-8 weeks:
- hitting a gym
- starting a new hobby
- going on solo trips and creating new memories
- when mental pain hit i picked up my dumbbels and smashed it out
- started dating and literally got my male energy back (6 dates within 3 months, all ok, ultimately did not lead anywhere because i was not searching for attachment or commitment)
fight the fight, move on, live life to the fullest
Thank u 😢
I've been hitting gym too and picking up a bowflex set definitely helps. On my birthday she just gladly posts she's in a rebound. Yeah, kinda hurts until I think about it. I'm a bit of a sex starved manwhore, and on my birthday I took a girl out and went to town on her. I didn't even realize it until I counted but I've already banged 5 people and the last seems like it's gonna be a regular thing so I'm also rebounding to a degree lol but at least I'm not gonna be a fucking moron like she is and pick my downgrade and try to force what she had with me on the new guy.
@razvan7544by excercising you let out bad emotions
It's easier said than done buddy. When you come out of a committed relationship where you had planned the whole life together. It sucks
My man 👌
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. My ex wife told me she has met someone else 17 hours ago, and it hurts. What was described in this video is almost exactly what I'm going through. We were together for 20 years, and whilst it wasn't perfect, I was in love. We split a year ago, her choice, but to find out she's met someone has hit me harder than the initial breakup. In the brief conversation we had, I was already compared to him, my shortcomings laid out. It's been such a blow, I'm struggling to cope with it. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, I didn't expect that would be achieved with someone else. Thank you for the advice.
Those kinds of individuals who leave someone because of a new exciting chase for another person, I promise you, these people will never be happy. It'll be the same script over and over, of getting used to the person, getting comfortable until everything becomes familiar, till then one day, they try to find someone new again.
You're so right. My ex of 1 year and 4 months checked off so many of my boxes, did all the "right" things. Then out of the blue on Monday he breaks up with me out of nowhere because I deserve better, he's gonna work on himself, etc. Then, I find out the day he broke up with me and was telling me that whole script, he was holding hands with another girl, and now they're all over each other, the thing is, she looks almost exactly like me. It took me hearing this to realize, I never really knew him as well as I thought and I feel that the comfortability and lack of excitement made him leave, but that's okay because I was the bestest thing that ever happened to him. I guarantee no one will put up with the things he does
@@f4ggysm4llsdon’t put up with those things again from anyone else. People that are bad in relationships are the ones that do things like this. It happened to me and he came back twice. Probably because I’m a ninja at putting up with bs. I’m learning not to be that person, it gets you no where good!
It’s taken me 2 years to heal from the same type of situation. I watched him give another girl everything I had to practically beg for. I thought he wasn’t good at love, but turns out.. he’s an Olympic swimmer at love. Just not for me. I wanted to move on like he did, but I couldn’t. I decided that me loving people doesn’t mean they have to love me back, and as much as I was giving love I wasn’t giving it to myself and I think that important, because you wouldn’t put up with anything subpar
#Humbled
Hope things have stayed better for you.
My ex did something similar. I was in a situationship with him for two years, but when he couldn’t commit, I decided to let it go. We had our misunderstandings, especially because he was talking to other women. One woman, in particular, was the final straw that ended things for good.
Now, ten months later, he tells me he's getting married to that same woman. I'm in shock because he always claimed he wasn't capable of being serious with anyone. Yet, here he is, ready to commit.
This woman doesn't seem special to me, yet I can't stop comparing myself and wondering why I wasn't enough for him to commit to after two years together. Why did he choose her so quickly after supposedly having commitment issues for so long?
He strung me along for two years, and it all amounted to nothing. I’m heartbroken and still hoping to find my person. But I’m so tired of searching. I don't understand how less than a year can change so much.
This past year, I focused on my professional growth and made significant strides, yet I’m still left wondering how I ended up here.
@@vanitysmurf5145 This is so sad, I am going thru the same thing, barely holding on
Hope you find someone amazing ❤
If they "moved on" really quickly they were probably cheating on you, so good riddance.
That’s right-if not physically, then emotionally.
not necessarily, you might put feelings into subconsciousness for years and on surface it looks like you moved on. But it causes clinical depression subsequently
Exactly
Factzzz
They need to make sure they find the right ride before buying the used appliances.
Still healing from the biggest betrayal of my life a little over a year ago and this is exactly what I felt and I decided to focus in my inner healing and stayed single to this day and now I can say that everything was a blessing in disguise… I can honestly say I am now thankful it happened because I was able to understand and believe my true worth… he is with someone else but know we were definitely not at the same level and understand I had to heal many things within me … I am so very proud of myself for the way I have pulled myself up from everything that has tried to destroy me … don’t ever give up on yourself!
I'm so proud of you for coming so far
Hello, so happy for you. I am also finding myself and rn the pain is unbearable but i am still taking one day at a time and trying to flush things out.
@@SoyosauceI'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
@@akashshukla6841I'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
I am going through this
I went through a betrayal this year and Matt thanks to u ,i am single,working out,giving my career time and being the best version of myself that i can!
great to hear this
Self-care and love is indeed important!
All the best to you
What ya mean. Working out, giving my career time and being the best version of myself can share more details? @parismitadas1601
What's your career?
My ex broke up with me 9months ago. We had been together for a little over a year. He never posted anything about me on social media, which didn’t bother me at the time. About 6 weeks after our breakup he was already in another relationship and posting about her all the time everywhere. He would put up captions saying “thanks for putting up with me” lol wish I would’ve gotten that since I did put up with him 😂 honestly it hurt to see him seemingly love someone the way I wanted him to love me. But it also helped me to move on and truly focus on healing.
Now 9 months post breakup he’s refollowed me on social media and has liked all my posts… it seems he’s trying to come back while still in his current relationship. A few months ago I would have eaten that up, but now I’m seeing him in a different light and I know I don’t want him back.
Thanks Matt for your encouraging videos… it’s helped me so much! Much love to you and yours ❤
He working his way to keep you as a spare. Be careful. Take care😊
Don't he's dirt unless you get the most massive apology gets down on his knees.
This actually happens to me and also she pass for time with the new guy more than she ever passed with me, but i learn the lesson we only need our validation, not seeking for the external one.
Don’t--the guy is not loyal, respectful or trustworthy, just Don’t, not again, find someone better@@brendanhiggins3442
This happens to me
My heart hurts so bad!!! Two weeks out and I’m like a walking zombie ready to burst into tears at any moment. I work in a very social situation and I’m struggling minute to minute to act normal.
I feel for you I was told it’s okay to-feel the emotion you going at the time and not stay trapped in it move forward
I hope you are feeling better by now. I am in this now. I just hurts.
I’m there now in a social working environment n 2 weeks broke up. I’m so broken n hurt. Trying to be strong
Me too it’s awful
Exactly
Had a beautiful 3 year relationship. Someone else suddenly walked into his life and he cheated and then ended up leaving me for her a day later. It’s so hard to cope, especially when he was so loving and caring towards me up until the very moment he met her. Thank you for your words ❤️
So true
Going through the same thing,on day 7. Hope you're doing better than I am right now. I just want her to stop haunting my dreams
I was replaced within 2 weeks afterall I did so so much for him. It shattered me , I was broken into pieces I'm still in the process of healing. It's really really heart breaking
@@miyokiizumi5985she replaced me 3 weeks after we split--the same week I was planning on proposing to her. It's killed me since.
That's bullshit. Be glad you were spared of anymore investment in such a hollow person.
Thank you for this I’m standing at the park right now crying going through a divorce after 30 years
Sending healing energy your way!❤
i sense a new member of MGTOW.
I cannot imagine that pain, a big hug
Still healing. I was taught a lesson of a life time. Now focusing on developing myself. Just realising that I didn't do much because focused on her too much.
Stop wondering why this happened and realize it was meant to be. I have said this times ands times that I am never tied to someone who leaves me. It’s just that their part in my story is over. I am writing a new one 🙂❤️
I’m 54, divorced, and was just in a 6-yr relationship with someone who is 57 and divorced. He told me last month, ON VACATION, that we grew apart, and shouldn’t see each other anymore. He told me that I should go home, after 3 days. We were absolutely perfect for each other. He constantly told me he loved me so much because I was so supportive and helped him become such a positive, courageous person. I’m still in shock. I still cry myself to sleep and awake crying after 4 weeks. He has broken my heart and devastated me. 💔.
Big hugs ❤❤❤
I experienced this about 2 years ago. I stuck with him through his hard times only for him to turn around and give his healed self to someone new. They did the travelling that we had planned. It was horrible, I was shattered and I went through hell. However, it taught me to made more self-reliant, nothing can hurt me anymore.
May no one ever go through a heart break during pregnancy or sickness. 2024 will be a year of great and mightier things in love and every aspect of life❤
It took me only 2 - 3 months to get over my ex-wife. I still love her to this day, but I am so glad I left her. I'm fortunate because I made SURE that I did not look for distractions during my heartbreak, but instead, worked towards working on figuring out how to love myself genuinely instead of faking confidence. I didn't think it was possible until now. So HANG IN THERE. The pain will end sooner once you learn how to live on your own terms! Trust the process!
Just know that it's their loss and you cannot control anyone. I was cheated on and lied to by my husband of almost 20 years. Lost tons of weight took a year and a little bit more to get over it. I still have problems trusting because of someone who supposedly cares for you so much for so long to do this what makes me think that no one cant do this. This is a hard one to get over but I think I'm almost there. I fully intend to love with my whole heart I'm not gonna let his mistakes hold me back. He won't and can't destroy my good heart!
❤
I don’t even know you, but i. care about you. i don’t believe i have to know someone to care about them and your empathy. makes me care for you. hope you’re doing better, it’s. been a year…
I spent years loving someone, to the best of my abilities. What hurts now is to unlove the same person after the breakup! Loving her was easier I think.
I've been with the same partner for 17 years this past Monday (since I was 19) After a midlife crisis after turning 40, he recently left me for one of his 'friends'. I feel completely abandoned, betrayed, heartbroken and devastated that this has happened to me. Not only do I have to mourn the loss of the future we had planned, but the amazing life I once shared with this person. I also have to mourn the loss of the version of him I once loved/knew and come to terms with the fact that he no longer exists. I feel like I'm mourning the death of my best friend and my soul mate. I will get through this, but I have never felt so lost and heartbroken in my entire life.
I feel your pain. It's hard when your partner decides its over. Give yourself time and in time you will get through this. All the best
"we accept the love we think we deserve" - the perks of being a wallflower
Experienced heartbreak about 4 months ago. Takes time, effort, and energy to process the whole thing especially when you’d never expect they’d do such a thing and break up with you :(
Thank you, Matthew
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Same
🙃🙏
Hey man, how are things 5 months later?
Yrs ago i had a love so strong it changed my life. She broke my heart and moved on. I've had relationships since but my heart never really really has felt the same since.
I'm only realising now I'm still dealing with the turmoil that past gave me. It's not just as easy as move on she doesn't care.
I know my neuro spicy brain perceives and feels different to the average person. But one day my soul will be free from weight.
I share your pain and I’m a 23 year old woman. It sucks to be so young. I hope the weight lifts.
You will heal in time and if you do the work. But is it fair to get into serious relationships and end up hurting others and not being able to love them to the same degree they love you?
@@jessicajackson1200 it wasn't, and that's why I ended it with my most recent. She deserves someone who fits her needs and long term dreams better, and with love I had to let her go.
I want to feed the inner dragon so I'm not chasing the external ones, and causing destruction along the way
@@RRR_Motorsports good for you, i wish you the very best. I hope you find healing and happiness.
@@jessicajackson1200 thanks :)
I hope only good things your way
Thank you so much for talking about this!
I went through something similar this year. My ex said that he couldn't think of being in a relationship in his life or anytime sooner. He pleaded to me saying that he had to focus on his work and he wanted to be alone. He cried to me saying that he couldn't put any effort in the relationship. He chose to be physically intimate with me even a day before the break up. I gave my all in those six months of the relationship. I missed to notice all the red flags and I celebrated him.
He ended the relationship over a call. In two months, I found him with another girl that broke me completely. I felt deceived and used. When I was already running to hospitals, I started falling more sick. I lost focus on my work. So, I decided to take a break and I am working on myself now. I am spending more time with myself, my friends and my family. I am slowly trying to stop spending my energy on the anger I hold for him. It's working well. I see myself in a place where I can value myself better now.
It is absolutely heart and soul crushing. Same thing happened to me. Showed me a good time intimately and that's the last time I saw him. June 13 of this year. I still cry but, I got started at a local gym, and personal trainer to get started in strength training and swimming, treadmill and I'm going to try a different machine for cardio as well.
Best wishes to you!❤
im so sorry
@@themercedestraveler9566 thank you.
This is exactly what happened to me today... Btw how things are going now?
As I am spending my last morning in our home of 13 years, to have this almost identical story and guidance shown to me at this movement gives me a sense that i am seen and the universe is watching. I am so tired of this fight and tired right down to my soul. I know my inner self is so angry at myself, I ignored him so long. I hope I will forgive myself. The journey begins today.
Good luck on your healing ❤
Sending you love ❤
How are you now?
Praying for you 🙏🏼🇬🇧 You are super strong girl!
I have lost someone i love. I dont hate her for not choosing me which makes the whole getting over her process hard and its not easy giving up that hope that tells you that somewhere down the road things may work out between us but it is necessary. So , right now im just trying to focus on loving myself, healing and improving myself and its not easy either but nothing good in life is easy to attain. It's a journey and i will find myself again but for now i do the work on myself and accept that this chapter of my life has ended.
Love your videos Matthew. I have learned in past relationships no matter how much it hurts at the time, things always get better and a person comes along who can see your worth. If someone wants to leave never stop them. Wish them well and let the door close on them for ever. We can not make any one love us. They have to want to. I have had exes then try to come back later but never let them back. They had their chance.
@JoshuaBaris-je6ws No story to tell really. Busy with life and Family micro management like every one. Work long 12hr shifts. Have a Family to raise and provide for.
Very good advice! I made the mistake of letting a long distance past love try to come back multiple times over the past 15 years and he recently hurt me again so I have to be done for good this time. I’m so tired of getting my heart ripped out and I’m learning how to set strong boundaries.
@@MelModica It is never to late to reflect and realise some People will never change and will only hurt again if let back into our lives. You deserve someone who values you and respects you and will be Privileged to have you in their life.
It's all the more painful that they've moved onto someone else days after we broke up. 13 years together, and I'm going through so much pain now. It's been less than a week and it's hard to focus and process everything. I'm devastated, and it's so hard for me to try to focus on myself. It's absolutely crushing.
Oh my gosh, Matthew.. it is so validating to hear you speak how someone can suffer constantly from anxiety and pain in a relationship, not being able to tell anyone about it, just fighting with it alone daily.. that was my reality for almost a year and now he just abruptly broke our connection. Im devastated.
Me too,same thing
Well, good. Good riddance. Wake up and recognise bullet dodged.
3 years here. I feel broken. It's a beautiful video but it can't reach me, I'm too overwhelmed with loss
@@noemihere i can imagine.. hold on, that's the only thimg we can do. send you a hug.
I am sorry this happened to you...i wish you the best in your healing ❤
I met my wife 15 years ago, I was 21 years old, she was 19. We shared and did everything together, we have been in a relationship for 14 years and married for 5 years, our children are 2 and 4 years old.
We often hung out with my best friend, whom I've known for 17 years.
About one and a half months ago she told me that my friend and her had fallen in love. When I first heard this I honestly didn't want to live anymore. I couldn't think of our children, I just wanted to die. Still absolutely numb I now somehow try to move forward and focus on our two kids. Sometimes I'd like to fast forward my life to see where the hell this is going and how long the pain is going to stay. I'm still trying to cope with the situation.
Damn brother that's harsh.
I wish you the best moving forward.
How are you bro now?
Damn bro, i thought i had it hard. And with a friend too, thats terrible. Ive been with this woman i met online for 1.5 years and married 1 year and we have a 11 month daughter. She really mistreated me but I still loved her. She started dating other people and left me heartbroken. Im coping with this but it seems your situation was worse, hope you are doing better now.
I hope this worked out ok for you.
I wish I knew how you were doing. Big hugs!
I've been fighting this pain every single day since I decided to take a break from dating.
I couldn't put my finger on it at all, and your analogy and words were on the money.
I thought I was giving up on love but I decided and chose to not give up on me. That's the difference I wasn't seeing.
I'm not tempted by things to fill my ego. I feel it in my heart, that all I want in the world is to heal. For the first time I'm doing it right.
My partner left me and our son for someone else. Our relationship had been bad for a couple of years. It lasted for 3 months and he came back to me. I stupidly took him back and he cheated again less than a year later. My self esteem was in my boots. Thanks for this video, there’s a lot of wisdom here. It has been an ego death. I now couldn’t care less about gaining his validation and I know I’ll never look outside of myself again.
If the incident he told was true, I have no reason to complain about my luck. My heartbreak is nothing compared to what the man must have felt. I'm grateful that I didn't have to face something that horrible. 7 Years. My God. Mine was 1.5 years and I went mad for a month. It took me tremendous energy to come back, and I'm still working on it. I still want her back. I pray to get her back. But I'm at a point where I know, that I can live without her and maybe find someone else some other day. Dating apps aren't made for men. It's like everything in the dating world is designed against men. But I will not give up on love. It will find me because I have been a sincere lover. Not all the time, but yes, I have tried really hard to be one.
@Firebender good luck my friend. I'm a woman and feel like those apps don't work for anyone. Just broke up with my guy a week ago.. 2yrs wasted...
Hey can we talk I'm from India
@smileyglitter852 Thank you! I hope things get better for you. I've pretty much moved on, but I do miss her but that's alright ig. We are going to make it!
@@mithyaworldhey buddy, yes we can
@@Alchemist_171 where we can contact..??
Ive been fighting this for 6 years. But ive not wasted my time. Ive done my therapy (for other things but also my self worth) and im doing some lone travelling. Ive realised its better to wait until someone comes along, who has their shit together. Ive spent too much time sipporting others. My last ex moved on within a month. Good luck to him...
~Same, here~I could have written this, word for word~
Mine cheated with a married woman and is still with her today even though she's still with her husband 😂
we had known each other for nearly a decade, and got into a relationship which lasted for 2 years. At the end, he got married to another girl within 2 weeks after our break up. The worst thing is he was talking to her and cheating on me, but I didnt realized. He put the blame on me at the end... Now from that time 1 year passed. I have been sufferring from a lot of things , my health and relationship with other people around me. But I'm more happy today to the effort towards my self-worth and self-awareness. It is heartbreaking experience anyway
My ex did something similar. I was in a situationship with him for two years, but when he couldn’t commit, I decided to let it go. We had our misunderstandings, especially because he was talking to other women. One woman, in particular, was the final straw that ended things for good.
Now, less than a year later, he tells me he's getting married to that same woman. I'm in shock because he always claimed he wasn't capable of being serious with anyone. Yet, here he is, ready to commit when he couldn't with any woman for 30 years of his life including the two years with me.
This woman doesn't seem special to me, yet I can't stop comparing myself and wondering why I wasn't enough for him to commit to after two years together. Why did he choose her so quickly after supposedly having commitment issues for so long?
He strung me along for two years, and it all amounted to nothing. I’m heartbroken and still hoping to find my person. But I’m so tired of searching. I don't understand how less than a year can change so much.
This past year, I focused on my professional growth and made significant strides, yet I’m still left wondering how I ended up here.
In my first relationship it took him 4 months to move on and start a family and it took me 3 years to heal from the trauma. Then with my next partner it took him 2 months to move on and 6 months to marry her, and it took me 2 years to heal. Since then it’s been 4 years and I’ve been single and have no desire to date. I’ve found peace and love with myself 💗
No one can understand this unless you have been through the process
This video is applicable to all types of relationships, not just romantic. Thank you for being you, Matthew 😭
the fact u have to make a comment about it says everything! of course it is. no one would have doubt it. but you making a comment about it tells me you need attention on this topic!
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
What's Matthew is saying is so true. It's in your worst moments that you can become stronger if you don't give up. I'm living this situation right now and i'm so pleased to find some peace in Matthew's words. Even if you know this, it's always a good reminder to hear it again and again, especially when you have no family nor friends around you. Thank you Matthew to help us. Hanna from France!
I now know the term of my feeling is called "ego death", and it's by far the worst, most horrific feeling I've ever felt in my life. It is literally hell, but now I'm going to focus on my own growth. Thanks, Matthew!
I hate the fact that I wasted 5 years of my life on him. Giving everything I have just to find out that he is engaged and he has another life. I really can’t trust anyone anymore, it hurts every day and I really hope that no one would go through this. Because really it makes me sick every day, I lost passion in life, and what hurts more is when you hear others saying you’re stupid and you allowed this to happen to you. It’s so sad that you really can’t open up to someone completely and talk about how you feel. And they will never understand how painful it is 😢💔
I found out 5 days ago my boyfriend has been dating someone else for the last two years. I had no idea. they are on a cruise right now. No words. I guess I should have been less trusting!
This makes me cry right now. Goddammit so sad. She discarded me like that 3 months ago. Broke me to the core of my soul
I’m going through it now. My ex was seeing a man behind my back. She moved on gaslighted me and didn’t tell me that she had someone new after 7 years together. You know what I’ve had a gutsful of feeling sad and upset. No more am I going to feel like crap whilst she is carrying on in her new relationship. About time I moved forward. Being successful in my life and work should be wonderful. I love and believe in myself. Love and Peace ❤
Wish everyone who are seeing this video will get recover as fast as possible. It’s pain, it brings us negative energy, it ruins our happiness and makes us live in regret. It keeps us wake up at night and shed the tears. But time will heal the wound. We need to accept that he/she is not the one for us. We just borrowed his/ her from someone else. Our soulmate is waiting us ahead.
It doesn’t seem like everyone has a partner in every life.
It's been more than three years I am still stuck in the memory loop, but this video helped me thanks.
Pray for all the soldiers
Went trought that 4 months ago she suddenly left me and i could not see any red flags after 5yrs of relationship and with a daughter. Only after 1 month of wanting to break up i confronted her and she told she had feelings for someone else. She basically destroyed me and i went trought psychologjst coz i was having suicidal toughts. It was very very hard on me coz i truly loved her. Now im building myself up getting in shape and doing things i like with me and my daughter. I still love her to this day but having her back isnt an option, she betrayed me and lost all my respect. "They dont know me, son" and ill be rising up from this stronger than i ever been. Stay strong, time is the only cure.
Most People seem to be in a constant repeat of childhood trauma. Unhealthy attachment to parents.
its not necessarely an unhealthy attachment to parents. Some of us are just the unlived children. Take me as an example. Im the middle child of 3. Aka the unwanted one.
Watching this, makes me think about how I spent 12 almost 13 years with someone I was thinking about marrying, after discovering she had been lying about the paternity of the three children I thought we had together. Opening those envelopes and seeing the results were the worse moments of my life, I felt like I had failed and couldn’t wrap my head around where things had gone wrong. I still have those thoughts to this day but I made the decision lately to see the good in each day and it’s getting easier to move forward.
Damn brother that's crazy.
Wish you all the best moving forward.
Stay up brother
I was with him for 16 months. I thought he was “the one”, right up until he wasn’t. We had an argument and abruptly parted ways. He moved on very quickly. This was a man that told me he never met someone like me. This is the man that told me I treated him better than anyone he ever knew. It’s hurts to be broken from the same person your thought you were going to heal with.
😢I am currently having a relationship heartbreak which I am trying to heal from
I’m working on this during therapy right now and this has been the hardest thing for me to get over. It’s soul crushing when someone you love just doesn’t love you anymore.
"The person that cares less is the person in power. ".... Someone told me that, and if I have another chance (i knowi will), things are going to be really different
...😢
From start to finish, I have been through this all because of someone. Great lesson.
"My ego is not my amigo" - BMTH 🤘
Thanks for this video, I really needed to hear this. 🤗 Just ended an almost 9y relationship with my first love, with one break of 6 months with no contact. We couldn't commit rn, we have different love languages and needs. I showed unconditional love by letting him go so we could heal ourselves. But I'm so scared I'm gonna see him giving everything I ever wanted and needed to someone else. 🥺
I am so sorry you are going through this. But I promise you, you are worth so much more. And yes , you can worry about him showing someone else affection.. but .. he is standing in the way of you finding the “love your life”.
Hey @renee. How are you doing right now ? How does it feel ?
May be reconciling and better communication
My fellow Bring Me The Horizon fan ❤
This video is a great source of comfort during tough times. For those looking to heal and grow, the journey to self love workbook by Cameron J. Clark is a wonderful guide.
I still see her every time i close my eyes. I feel wholly incapable of reclaiming myself. I cant enjoy my progress as i cant share it with her anymore. I miss her. And no contact just feels like a huge mistake. I miss my best friend. I miss my other half. 10 years together. 10 months since she left. I dont know why now i feel it so strongly again.
I am going through this now! It was extremely painful... What I did was embrace my pain and my need to grieve, accept that the relationship I was in was rejected, and try to take care of myself. Incompatibility or a change in his emotions or the fact that the way we evolved was not compatible, has nothing to do with me or my ego. Focusing on our Ego can make us jump to unnecessary and painful conclusions.
Yet isn't it a blessing rather than a curse
Knowing that person wasn't the correct one
Then be glad and not sad about it.
It's all devastating
@@HCforLife1
Only those who fall get to rise up again
My wife just walked out on me for another guy and moved straight into his house. I’m broken thank you for this video.
Hi there my husband left and moved straight in with the girl,he was so comfortable doing that it means that I have been in the dark for a long time, people don't just move in together,they must know each other very well,12 years later his crying over stupid decisions he made ,but I'm much happier now without him, you'll get there give yourself time , hope everything works out for you
Wish him good luck. That's a trainwreck.
I really really needed to hear this today! Currently recovering from a breakup of a 3.5 year long relationship. Time to slay the dragon within ❤ thank you for reminding me!
❤god bless you
Me too how can I contact you 😢
Worst part about losing your loved ones, is that they are your comfort.
Now that they are gone, it feels as if nothing can comfort you, except your ex - and they have no responsibility to do so and they shouldn't.
Higher spirits are horrified at how much unnecessary heartbreak is just everywhere. People treating others like they are disposable. It's not meant to be like this. Im way too damaged to probably ever be in a relationship again. It's too scary to think i could ever feel as bad as i did. 2.5 yrs later and it still making an impact.
Matt, as a regular viewer I am sure more of your audience wants the how to deal with heartbreak related videos rather than the how to date successfully videos. This relates to a personal level, please make more videos on this topic. Finding happiness can be easy but getting over sadness can be tough. Thank you for such amazing videos
This video has 130k views in 4 weeks.
You're not alone, even though it definitely feels like it.
Come on ! We are not eternal… billions of people out tente, move on. Detach , let go with grace and move on. You will get there. Be happy alone , love yourself and keep giving love around. Just let go. They are not part of your destiny.
This was amazing I love your videos.I’m actually living proof of everything you said!!! 10 months ago when he left I thought I was going to die, it physically hurt my heart and I was so mentally drained and today I’m in better shape than I ever was, working with a therapist reading way videos brought me through that tunnel to the light! I’m a better stronger me and I’m not young, just wish I had l this years ago! Anyone who’s just going through this I can tell you it 💯 gets better but you need to get motivated!!!! ❤
Never give 100% of yourself to a relationship.
Keep your friends, family ties, hobbies and interests. You need to have a piece of yourself reserved in order to come back from something like this. Don’t let your identity be swallowed up into another person and their life or it will take you forever to recover from it.
I made this mistake
In the midst of “working things out” she became distant and then on my birthday she said she wanted time to “work on herself” I respected it. However a week later, after looking through our photos i went to look at her profile online and she had already been in another relationship the whole time we were “working things out”. She was living a double life like nothing happened.
I hope you’re ok. That’s a hard knock - felt your comment. Be strong and kind to yourself 🌷
I think this is a sign .because I started going back to those feelings
same
Me too!!
got sober ; and then 32 years of marriage she disgaurded me ; my growth now is bigger than anything i’ve ever done .. 😃
My ex husband and I went through a complicated divorce. Looking back I think we could've saved the marriage. He's with someone new now, they've been together for 6 months or so. When they first got together he was still calling me, trying to set things right. I told him xyz needed to happen, and it was always a back and forth. Well one day I asked him if he loved this girl. He said yes, so I told him to stop disrespecting me and her and that if I loved someone new I wouldn't be speaking to him. And he cut me out. He changed his phone number. It really hurts. He chose her and it's okay. I'm happy he's happy. But I'm angry I'm not. I'm jealous he has new love first. It's so complex emotionally. I'm working through it one day at a time. I keep dreaming about them having babies together. And I think it's just processing. But man. That hurts to dream. I wanted it to be me.
You are not alone … I know how you feel. May God bless and keep you always 🙏🏾😉
To those having heartbreak and reading the comment below: Not everyone has compassion, don’t listen to ‘kevin’, a breakup does not mean that they never valued you. That comment only comes from a hurt soul, thats not your life.
I love this!! ❤😭
I also just want to take a quick min to appreciate Matthew's background (no furniture or tacky vases). To me (personally) it represents a clear mind and an open space with room for self honesty, safe for vulnerability. ❤ Great advice as always
Gosh! I needed to hear this. I didn’t think I needed more help here but this is so validating what I went thru these past 2 yrs.
I’ve grown sooo much and now I know why. I had ego death. I was going thru exactly what you said. Everything…
But now I’m happier than before and not needing a man to make me happy.
Now to tackle the trust issues I have and not be scared of dating
You got this! build up self-trust to lessen the trust wounds. Set out yoru red flags and non-negotiables and honour them no matter what. Speak up when something isn't right and you need to set a boundary Request for needs to be met and see if the other person is willing to see them through. See if they are congruent with their actions lining up with their words! Good luck ❤
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool thank you
This video hit home with me, Mathew. This all happened to me. In a relationship for 24 years and then suddenly discarded. Have done the work in the last 4 years and I have finally learned. This video is so very informative. I can’t thank enough for the video topic. So glad I have found your channel. Thanks
Stay strong mate
My man did this to me did not want me to put my hands on him anymore didn’t want to talk anymore move on before we was done 💔
My ex husband after 30 years left, wanting to be best friends. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. But after attending two years of therapy and attending narcissistic abuse and support groups I'm finally piecing years of gaslighting lying manipulation and making me feel like I was losing my mind I'm so angry. as he gets involved with some stupid woman within 3 months, I told her that he was a narc but she didn't get it. So my covert narcissist it's really slick and intelligent just loves to be so helpful to everybody except me. He actually got angry because I asked for spousal support you know I am handicapped after all. I just can't believe these vampires are out there in their bat caves. He gutted me emotionally being crushed to death which I almost killed myself because of the f head thank God my divorce is over with I'm growing and moving on
I am so happy you got out of this safe and alive. I am truly wishing the best for you and your healing moving forward ❤
I was 36 years and he had me replaced in two weeks,in a way it helped me a bit because I realized he could not care less about me if I was so easy to replace that it angered me and oddly made me stronger.
@annbow4064 Gees two weeks, I just can't fathom being in a relationship like ours, 30 + years, and they are off looking for a new supply. But he is her problem now. In the long run, I got my sanity and my freedom back. Best of luck to you ❤️
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thank you so much, it's been a lot of work but I'm so much stronger.
It’s funny how so many women blame men. When they file take half and call everyone a narcissist. I don’t get it or believe them. I see nothing but men being destroyed. Txs
Thank you for this. I left a verbally and emotionally abusive man that has borderline tendencies…likely narcissistic too. He’s moved on yet I’m struggling with it.
I know it’s not me with the problem…he’s broken. He needs constant reassurance, validation, attention, admiration, etc, etc.
I know I shouldn’t feel this way but it’s that gross trauma bond.
I’m proud of myself for leaving. Standing strong against a man that pleaded with me, apologized endlessly after every fight yet NEVER changed.
I needed these reminders that I’m not the broken one. That I will wait for the one that deserves me ❤
I broke up with him only after he kept breaking Me. Many times.
I want this pain to end.
I can't stop crying. I just wanted peace with him.
I’m leaving my comment so that I could remind myself of what I’m going through.
In my case he broke up due to long distance and I agreed . I was his first relationship he treated me the best . Being in love ,the friendship everything was best until he gave up on me . A part of me died a little that day. But the worse was yet to come he found a rebound within one month of us breaking up. That thing broke shattered whatever remains of my already broken heart. It’s been terrible and it’s been two days since I last contacted him . I’m grieving,continuously crying but I want to heal myself before I jump onto another person. I still love him I can’t help that .
Hang in there.
My ex moved on after 2 days!
Moved on physically anyway.
It crushed me. I cried every day for several months. But over time I am healing.
It’s been 5 years and I’m mostly at peace but it took a solid 18 months from the breakup to start to really let her go.
@@BullyMaguire4ever aww sorry to hear that..but I’m glad u are fine now . I’m still healing miss him a lot but I guess it’s the letting go of the hope slowly and gradually that’s helping me a little. I miss him every day but I think we both deserve better him with someone who’s near him and I someone who’s gonna keep choosing me like how I will do the same . So I’m trying to make amends and focus on getting my masters and career goals achieved.
Mathew, you’ve put out a thought that most of us have and struggle with unconsciously - and you put it forward so eloquently and kindly. The work you do really is remarkable and the sincerity always shines through in your videos. Thank you ♥️
It took me 2 solid years to start recovering. She even used my razor to shave her crutch for another man the day she left. We were together for 5 years.
I read this somewhere else, i want to pass on this knowledge.
She is NEVER YOURS !!! Your just paying to have your turn with her.
The act of confidence is the key. Confidence is an action you choose to make.
Thank you for this. We don't talk about this enough. I'm a psych student. I'm studying attachment and lifespan development. Not at all where I started. I'm both going through a breakup with someone I adored and studying it. This is helpful content. Ego Death. It's hard to see someone you loved in love with someone else. I've also learned immense gratitude for this very thing. It's new to me. I feel both sad and grateful she will be with someone that is for her. We weren't our forever person. We had some great times. Times I will forever be grateful for. I also learned the habits I need to work on, my emotional maturity and to let go of the past. I'll be working on these things. Relationships hurt when they end and can be beautiful - even the endings.
18 years ago, even to this day, I still love the same girl that tore me apart. Within that 18 years I managed to do the slay dragon's process. I grew inside of myself; I became very powerful. I followed my passion and became a SWAT police officer and working on a college degree. I became financially stable in my career, own my own home and vehicles, money in the bank, and still.... I have not moved on. I certainly have become a better person. But I still think about her on a regular basis. I am still unmarried and still no children at 38 years old.
You must let go! You love her because she reflected YOU, back onto you…you loved yourself…she reflected you; she is not that person, trust me! Been through it myself, it is hard to grasp yes, but still a fact…Good Luck❤️🩹
18 years is crazy... is she already married?
Oh, gosh..
Fearing this happening has kept me in unhealthy relationships for far too long. I am dreading they'll be completely different and loving to someone else.
I’m going through the same thing now after a long relationship and I don’t know what to do with myself
I was in relationship with her for 26 years and 7months ago I was discarded by her for another woman that was a deadly blow to my soul
I just spent 2 years going through this. I was utterly shattered. Could not function at all for 3 months. Stayed in bed & cried so hard I became dehydrated and sick. Ego death is right!
I sought therapy, read articles & books, and did some challenging innerwork. I feel like a new person now! I am kind & gentle & loving to myself and even more empathetic, but with boundaries. My self-esteem has never been so healthy. I enjoy my own company. I truly enjoy my life.
My friendships & familial relations are deeper & more meaningful. I live in the present without fear or anxiety.
I loved this video & intend to share with others! Thank you for this gift!