gen z is undateable
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
- 0:00 intro
1:43 you want to be perfect
8:39 you don’t open up
13:04 you refuse to get hurt
20:15 you’re allergic to red flags
22:25 you don’t know what you want
Typing this up so the algorithm thinks this video is about dating at 21, being 22 and single, 23 and single , never had a boyfriend at 18, never hay a girlfriend at 24, single and 26, never had a partner, single forever, forever alone if you made it this far, comment a 🍇
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As a 30 yo man, who first was ugly as a teen, then looked amazing in my 20s and now still looks good but suffered from less options because of hairloss: it's because of looks. I've been on both sides of the fence. When you look like the it-girl or it-guy, you will see how shallow the world is. We don't date people, we date avatars of success that we represent like trophy's to our peers. You're not looking for a boyfriend, you are looking for a 6'2'' guy, blue eyes, beautiful hair, nice career who is attractive to many women but somehow ONLY loves you. And men don't look for a girlfriend, they look for a beautiful maid, who has the face of an angel and the body of Aphrodite who he can enjoy whenever he wants and is only loyal to him. Humans don't want to be in a relationship with another human, humans want to be in relationships with ideals.
couldnt word it better my friend
Amazing explanation
Bro ate and left no crumbs
I think that’s a bit disingenuous. Obviously there are superficial aspects. we want to date people who we find physically attractive and maybe have enough resources to improve (or at least not hinder) our lifestyles. But dating is more than that in a lot of ways as well. People crave vulnerability. We want partners that comfort us and allow us to be human in a world in that otherwise not so generous. Humor, kindness, intelligence, patience, shared interests, etc. There is a lot that we ask from our partners and that’s why finding one takes so much effort.
I am a bit worried about your perspective though. If you crave a perfect object from your partners, do you meet your own criteria? I’ve never had trouble dating, but granted, I don’t expect my partners to be anything more or less than human either. Obviously, I offer them my best and I expect the same from them as well, but saying people date to look for “avatars of success” just comes across as really detached from reality. I don’t know how you manage to cultivate healthy relationships with that type of mindset.
Anywho, wish you the best. Peace out ✌️🦆
‼️‼️
At this point, at the age of thirty five, I don't want to be in a relationship. I just want a friend in real life.
I think a lot people self sabotage love… for example the words “ick” or “simp” has definitely made it harder for people to actually be themselves because people are afraid of actually being emotional . A relationship is not being emotional it’s about becoming emotionally intelligent and patience. Yet natural human behaviors or looks are seen as a ick . You’re right people want things to be perfect all the time , and love is beautifully imperfect that’s the point in my opinion
So true. As a man, I’ve noticed a lot of my friends use simping as an excuse to cope with being single involuntarily. I’ve been called a simp for hanging out with my girlfriend of 3 years -_-
@@OnlyDarien omg and it’s always the ones lacking abusing the term simo like that. A while ago I caught up with two of my guy friends n one of them unfortunately had to bail early to pick up his long term serious gf from work. When I say serious I mean they’re like full living together n everything. Like they’ll probably end up getting married n all unless something completely out of the blue happens. As disappointed as I was cuz it’s happened a few times by now, as a chick who has also been in a serious relationship I still got to respect n encourage a guy for being a proper bf for his woman. However the other guy friend is a different story. Total virgin. Never even dated or kissed a woman n he of course was winging bout him being a “simp”. I just rolled my eyes n moved the conversation on. He sounded my guitarists 3 yr old kid when we had to take his dad away for a sing writing sesh… but not as cute and endearing obviously.
So I just had my first date yesterday and it was totally awkward! 2/4 girls of my friend group said I shouldn't give him a second chance, but the other two said its totally normal for a first date to be awkward! Its honestly how we learn and it gets better over time!! And I am totally giving him a second chance bc he is a sweet guy (and Cute)
awkward is the norm when it comes to first dates! they get less awks with time, i never get nervous now. go with your gut when it comes to going on a date, your gut is always right
@@ChristinaAaliyah awwww I love you gurl 🥹💕
Can we get an update? 😮
It's great seeing 2 good looking people in that clip talking about what's wrong with people who have never dated
I think it’s about time to adapt to being awkward because since social media ruin most of our emotions, we shouldn’t have high expectations of behavior.
its just hard to be vulnerable with someone you aren’t close with because it can be seen as attention seeking. Which sucks because to become close to someone you have to open up and be vulnerable.
You might like the video “A low-risk technique for gaining intimacy with people” by Psychology with Dr. Ana
agree with astay great vid ^^
plus opening up doesn't have to be attention seeking
it can be as small as being genuinely honest when someone asks 'how are you' and not defaulting to 'fine'.
like if you're tired, exhausted, not having a good day, or you're feeling really good, and it's the opposite, vulnerability can look like being honest about that
don't feel like you always have to wear a mask
@@ChristinaAaliyah Thank you! and i totally get what you mean. Sometimes its just like i guess nerve racking because you don’t want people to judge you when you’re vulnerable, which is everyone. ive been called attention seeking for opening up when i already have a hard time speaking up, when i finally thought i was doing better people started judging.
THIS.
we stan a black video-essay queen
girl if u like christina u would love madisyn brown
@@taylorgisele5874 of course i do, madisyn is one of mx favourites!
slay
it’s a bit weird to see someone talking about race on a really cool video
@@giveupndie4559blame your ppl
As a 25-year-old who has never been on a date, never been in a relationship, etc... yeah, it's hard sometimes. I'm going to the wedding of a friend who's only 21 this summer and it really makes me think "where am i going wrong?" But at the same time, i don't meet people and am pretty chronically online, so it makes sense lmao.
i agree with all your points, i just want to add something i recently realised (as 20 year old who's never dated) : not all of our overthinking and fear of being imperfect is just in our head. i have met many people, from different nationalities and i can tell you: not everyone is nice. most people (gen z) are extremely judgemental. there is no way getting around them except owing your truth and being who you are, i'm just pointing out that it's hard to date nowadays because of the expectations SOCIETY makes us put on ourselves.
That woman is so right, that waiting for the right person and loving yourself first and working on the best version of yourself doesn't make any of us behind in life. I'm in the working on myself stage these days in life, have been working on myself for nearly a decade now and there are days I'm not sure who I'll end up with or who I'll meet in the future. I feel lonely a lot of the time, but I have to remind myself that the right man will come along. Sometimes I'll read about these people in their 40s getting married and think, oh good. There's still hope for me to find love.
Sorry - but the people in this video seem broken. Almost robotic. Self-obsessed, materialistic and narcissistic. These qualities are in direct opposition to love. Love is about taking a chance - sharing - loving others - not yourself. You all talk funny - using so many strange and almost mechanical key-words like "better self". It's sad because I don't believe it's your fault. Social media is largely to blame. This is the downside to the internet. You will find "love" (or what you perceive to be love) - but it will be a hollow and shallow experience. Real life experiences will be replaced with insta-pics in an album that nobody will even look at (they are all too busy creating their own "realities"). By the time you realize - it will be too late. There is an escape though - all you have to do - is unplug.
funnily enough I agree
I’m 26 and I’ve never had an actual boyfriend. I did have my first kiss at the very end of last year, but he ended up really just wanting sex and had a thing for body shaming me. But no serious relationships. I hadn’t even dated before last year when I was 24. Now that I’ve actually felt what it’s like to actually snuggle up with someone even if it was brief and came with a lot of criticism, it makes my singleness hurt even more than it ever did before.
This makes me very nervous about dating. I'm 25 and never dated, never been in a relationship or even been kissed, and the thought of having that kind of intimacy with someone then being single again at this point kinda scares me. It's not as bad when I don't even know what I'm missing. If I experience something like that, then become single again, it might crush me tbh.
@@veronica-mew exactly! It’s very real. Having just a taste of something great and then having it be ripped away like you’re supposed to just be able to go back to being alone. It’s gut wrenching tbh. I can’t tell you otherwise with my own experience. Even having someone to cuddle up to and get that serotonin boost when you’ve always been depressed from touch starvation and then somehow go back to being all by yourself. I wish I had words of encouragement :(
I’ll tell you an advice based on what i know on that, if you want to have a serious relationship, pick someone who want stability in life, people in their 20’s especially men tend to focus on trying to be successful and just have a relationship here and there, try opening up your age limit instead like check on the 30’s men some of them already achieved what they wanted but they lost the stability they wanted
@@nabi7878 Sadly my first kind of relationship was with a guy in his mid-30’s and he was just as clueless as me (a decade younger). I suppose it depends on the guy really.
I’m watching this as a 33 year old woman. What I’ll say is this; one of my big regrets in my 20s is being in relationship after long term relationship. The most I was single for was maybe 8 months between the ages of 17-31 years old. Now I’m doing all the things I wanted to do in my 20s and having a blast on my own. You’ll have the rest of your life to date, have romantic relationships etc. Focus on discovering who you are as your own person first. ❤
How to discover ur own person first though?
I don’t think you’ll ever discover yourself entirely because we change, we age, we evolve. Just do what feels right, what makes you happy, don’t hurt anyone and do things future you would thank you for. ❤
this >>>
I did the opposite of this and almost always had a mediocre boyfriend who drained me throughout my entire 20s. All of them made my life worse.
All of my 6 exes I had in my 20s were insecure and I realized I was purposely dating down because I was desperate and didn’t want to be alone. I figured anything is better than being alone but that is not true. If you date down, that man will secretly hate you and he will drain you financially and want you to take care of him, they will exploit you and do nothing to make your life easier. They know they don’t deserve you, so they will do anything they can to bring you down to his level like humbling you. I wish I had never dated in my 20s at all.
The problem is you're going into these relationships with the belief that you're dating down with a partner who is "less than".. So of course it's gonna manifest that way
Wtf
@@nickjones5495 it’s true I was dating down significantly. Weather they had a felony and I don’t, they have the same job and are perpetually broke but I’m not, when he has a kid with another woman and I don’t, when he less kind, less considerate, less smart, less talented, when he just full of hatred for people and I’m not. I have a house and car and he doesn’t. I live in my own, and he’s still living with his mom. He’s unhealthy and I’m healthy. I could go on and on and do notice these things and just decided to stay with them anyway because I was desperate . I’m not perfect, but I was better person than all my exes in so many ways. They knew this too and treated me like garbage out of insecurity.
@@nickjones5495nah pretty sure they mean in retrospect they were dating down in the sense that their exes were draining them and using them financially and they realized it later that they just didn't want to be alone so they put up with it.
@@Anna-dw1zq idk about that one. Even then it feels narcissistic to claim you're dating "down".. it's just 2 different frequencies
I use to think that I had to get into a relationship quickly! But there’s no rush to get into a relationship or achieve a life milestone. We’re all on our own path in life. I’m 27 now and I got my 1st relationship at 26 which I’m currently happy in
i love how this video is supposed to be about why gen z is undateable, but turned into a video about how everyone is on their own timeline and not rushing ourselves into potential misfortunes. 💚 as someone who has had many relationships and a lot of regrets surrounding some of them, i encourage people to take their time and really understand what they want.
My reason is because I don’t see the point of dating someone. I’m happy by myself.
Why do people have to state that not having a relationship is a bad thing.. It’s so annoying urgh..
Simple: you lack nuance - just because YOU could, never believe that everybody CAN.
Some people just like to be in the company of a lover. I too am fine if not better without a relationship but some people just get really lonely. Nothing wrong with that
@@damntae6540 unfortunately, look at the posts here, and you see the ARROGANCE of people practically claiming the equivalent of "I know what god think"...
Honestly such great points especially the refuse to get hurt
Ikkk, we got those walls up
@@ChristinaAaliyah it's honestly so hard to recognise we are doing that at times. feel as if the original setting is avoid
If you’ve been on like twenty or so dates, and none of the men you were with was suitable to be your boyfriend- At that point, it’s on you. Honestly.
Or maybe.. just maybe.. finding someone good for you isn’t supposed to be easy. You can always just date anybody but it’s hard to find the right person for you.
@@damntae6540cope huh?
@@damntae6540facts.
@@damntae6540 Ugh, twenty dates is too high to not get into a serious relationship. At that point, you’re wasting your time and other people’s time because either you’re choosing poorly or you’re just in it for the free food. Don’t date.
@@jayfaisa3171I disagree. Sometimes it just takes a while to find what you want and what clicks. Doesn’t mean you need to stop dating and it doesn’t mean you’re wasting time either. With each date or even relationship, you learn from that experience. It’s easy to sit and judge from the outside looking in
I agree with a lot of your points. I think the biggest one for me is the over strategizing and maximization of what you can get out of someone in a relationship. That makes it seem harder to date fr.
I will say though it’s a catch 22, because our generation isn’t like this for no reason either, people are just hyper aware and sensitive of being hurt and there’s an overall overcorrection.
I think the main thing is finding someone that’s committed to personal growth and growing with you and you’ll be okay because like you said, perfection doesn’t exist.
girl don’t stop making these videos, you’re my favorite person on yt to watch ❤ thank you!!
Confidence and not being too picky are the keys 🔑 🎉
As a millennium I feel sorry for you guys. I held hands with my girl and kissed her when I was 9 in Disneyland Paris. My parents had free passes and allowed me to invite her, I was super happy and excited to take her with us. You guys only talk to your phones, it is pathetic and really sad. I really feel sorry for you guys that technology is all you know
Congrats you want bragging rights with that?
It makes us less pathetic tho. All of the older people I know jumped on being in a relationship because of societal pressure and ended up divorcing at 40 because they realized they were never happy with their partner…
@@amdiary7 I agree with you , but on the other side discovering things of life at 25 that you're supposed to experience at 15 is not good either.
THIS IS SO UNDERRATED WHAT 😭
😎
just discovered your channel and I'm really happy to have found your content :)
most videos about these topics always give the same tips, but I've never thought about yours but they really resonates with the things I've observed. thank u ^3
i totally agree! a lot of stuff online is recycled, i always try to give a new perspective
I’m usually not a big commenter, however I enjoy watching your vids so much. It really helps a lot!
Editing, pacing and energy is on point! New sub ✨
thanks Layton
33f here. I’ve never been in a relationship bc I was too busy getting my PhD and working. Im at the pt in my life where I prioritize getting a partner so now I go on dates every week. It’s not that bad to wait until you’re established y’all.
How do you find dates to go on?
Thinking to honestly do the same.
So, how do you find these people to go on dates every week? That’s my issue. Sure I wanna date but I literally have no way of racking up that many guys to go on a date with unless I do online dating and I really don’t want to do that
@@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998 yeah the only way is online dating. I don't want to do it either but it feels like you have to these days
omg i am sooo in love w this video. amazing editing!!!
thanks rhyanna, luv ur name btw🤭
We learn the most important and valuable things for life through bad and hurtful experiences, there is no way around it and we get stronger and better at things each time. I am not saying look for things that will hurt you, you don't need to, they will find you. Everyone gets good at stuff by failure after failure. Embrace the unknown, the challenge and don't take things too seriously. You will have so many more opportunities 😉
I dont have an age that I consider a red flag that someone has yet to be in a relationship. Now, past the age of 30 and never been in a serious relationship is a beige flag for me.
Not to make it a gender war, this is just my observation. Women very, *very* often backtrack and say “we just met up as friends” I.e. deny it was a date meetup.
I have never talked to a girl friend who told me “yeah I was interested, but it didn’t work out” no. It never was dating in the first place, it’s the friend zone all around.
Which is fine. But I still wonder if it’s genuine. When a guy asks you out, plans the day, you meet up alone, it’s very likely seen as a date by him at least. If he doesn’t know you well at least most of the time.
Nah. Your observation accounts for a small percentage of women.
This is not true lol
Girl you’re so underrated! Keep going ❤
thanks girl
Such an interesting video, loved it x🎉
thanks Jessica
It is crazy fr, how this current generation treats love and relationships in general fr!
Yeah not me, 28, engaged to my best friend who I can just be weird around, realizing this is why I don't have friends anymore. Literally it's like you can only have friends who make you sound cool. It's bull, townies need friends too. Not everyone wants to run away to the city and stay broke for no reason
Omigosh you hit the nail on the tee with this one. I do feel like I have to be perfect to start dating or to pursue my dreams and it's àholding me back a lot. I like that you brought up how the not opening up relates somewhat to the scrolling problem; it's the most annoying thing when my friends just bring out their phones and scroll on tiktok or instagram to make conversation. I think our generation also just doesn't have much social etiquette either, but sadly it's become the norm so I fear that if I bring up that I find it rude it will be perceived as petty or being disagreeable. Also a lot of people I meet aren't as open to considering other's opinions -- like they'll say the sort of woke (idk what word to use but woke seems the best) response like « yeah everyone' entitled to their opinion or agree to disagree » but I think people still stay in their own thought bubbles and seem to think that acknowledging an opposing opinion is the same as teamwork or a deep talk. People are trying so hard not to offend (or trying too hard to delibrately offend) that it gets in the way of making valuable insights and deeper connections.
yesss, that's such a good point about the woke thing. like we're too scared to offend people so we just say the pc answer. i've been guilty of that sometimes. i'm glad this resonated 🦋
Loved ur vid. Keep going girrl ❤❤
thanks girl
Y’all keep following all this toxic videos on tik tok or TH-cam about how to date and manipulate men. Pretty much how to play games 101 instead of being yourself. And then you wonder why this generation can’t date. Add that in with the terrible attention spans, there ya go ✨
it’s too much content lol
I'm 22 I never had a date.. Still in college living with my parents
That’s just normal.
I'm a 24 year old lesbian and I've never had a girlfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me honestly.
Whilst I loved this video and i thought the message is very powerful, I also think it's important not to fall into the trap of thinking that our perception of self isn't more powerful than the reality we live in. Maybe that's just my perspective. But yes definitely a great video
I belong to gen z, and at my former school and my college now i notice only two ways for the most part of students in my country: either you start dating very early (at 12 or something even earlier 🤯) or don't date at all (even if you want to be in a relationship).
I have a stable relationship almost for a year now (and I will be 18 in less than a month). But I see I'm actually an exception to this rule.
26 F… literally never been in a relationship. Sometimes I think that I’m the common denominator…
I always felt like since all I had was heartbreak and rejections I was undeserving of love. I always felt like I should have been fake in high school, I should have followed the norms I should have never been myself. Maybe then I would have had a boyfriend. I saw it work with my sister. I shouldn’t have told the truth.. I shouldn’t have worn my personality as a badge of honor. If it got me 26 and loveless it’s a badge of dishonor. It really hurts knowing that I could potentially be alone forever. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who’s lonely…
So real. Wish I’ve seen this video when I was younger.
I’m turning 33 never been in a relationship but I have dated. I was waiting for marriage but not any more.😅
Great vid! 👏👏👏
thanks so much
I'm a millennial and have only had one relationship when I was in my late twenties which ended years ago. I go out there and meet people, but just haven't clicked with any guys, but also guys don't ask women out these days, either. I don't know what went wrong, but it seems like millennials and gen z don't know how to date.
I cant take your video seriously because of constant reverse cymbals 😂 I'm crying, just some friendly advice, you dont need it for every single transition
Cheers
9:49 that's true, facts
I'm 27 never had a bf is not by choice I been single all my life But every time I met someone they either see me just as a friend already have a gf or live in another state and people who like me I don't like or have chemistry with it feels like I'm cursed 😩
Im 23, and the amount of times a girl has told me that im ugly, or im too nice or they know im a good guy and would be great but they're not interested in a relationship which is usually a lie majority of the time. Hell, a girl told me that she likes guys who are playful and rough (she gave me her number btw, i never asked for it). All i want is a women who likes me for me. Why is that soo hard.
Whats wrong with being too nice?
@jmgonzales7701 People, think if you're nice, then that automatically makes you a pushover or simp
@@wijinsama isnt being nice suppose to be a good trait
A brave new world.
I strongly doubt that GenZ is a homogeneous generation, sweetheart. I do empathise, though with those that are struggling to find their footing
What is with the sound effects 😹
its over
I've been fat my whole life (even when I wasn't, I still had a curvy figure) and I grew up around skinny, light or white girls/women. Demographic plays a huge role bc I was basically invisible in those circles but I got a steady flow of men when I was around other POC. Demographics will have you convinced you're ugly. I'm 26 and I've never been in a relationship (dated plenty). I'm from a small rural town so pickings have always been slim. I feel like my dating pool would be much larger if I lived in a more populated area bc whenever I visit the city, I get so much attention.
Let me say something as someone who was born in 1999, i know it’s crazy but i gave up on dating and went to an arranged marriage (basically you will have time to know each other until you guys decide to see if you suit each other or not basically a dating stage)😂 and its been 2 years now since i got married and yup planning to have kids soon
I am behind because my eggs are drying up
Honestly I'm single just cuz nobody else gay here ☠️☠️☠️
You are complaining that the problem is people having high expectations, but you also say that people should kept their expectations, which you are complaining that is too high.
See the problem?
Gen Z is undateable because women say no. Lol. It's that simple.
I wonder what this looks like if it were about men
i only see tattooed ones with triple digit body counts on the apps
This is a great video, my only critique is that I really don't like the sound you use to jump from you talking to the TikTok videos you're showing. It's a sound that rises and creates a feeling of suspense.
It wasn't noticable at first, but I was listening to your video as I was doing something else and that repeated sound throughout the video just really annoyed me.
I would either find something else, or just not use it completely because you're jumping back and forth so much when you have a talking point.
The video example are from millennials tho? Idk maybe they all just look old but I’m on the cusp and they look years older.
I Guess Morgan is 97 but idk I don’t think of ppl that age in Gen Z. Im thinking 2000’s and forward. I’m 2002
Im single cause the men out here aint shit lol and I'm not desperate
You should just give them a chance tho it might be healthy for you
@@GodMowsMyLawn I do, I get asked out and I go on dates but I stay single bc the men out here are wild, I want a relationship, I want to love, but I'm not finna give my love to just anyone
Are you sure?
@@lisa-pz2px you just proved the videos point.
@@vaderkurt7848 no I didn't, many men out here really do want to give you the bare minumim and play games, and I'm not with that, there are good men, I happened to fall upon one and I'm not single anymore , I don't have crazy standards or nothing like that , Im just happy alone so there's no reason to accept anything less than a man that significantly adds to my life
what's gen z's biggest problem when it comes to dating 👇 I'll go first
dating app culture
Insecurities maybe
Definitely social media as well as the hookup culture because men and women are afraid to commit so they like the advantages of being in a relationship with someone without a title.
The men are brain broken by alpha male influencers, the women gunshy and fatalistic, and everyone else has crippling anxiety and identity issues 🤷♀️
Insecurities and Social media
The dramatic music for transition is so annoying please use less of it
Could have said this more politely
ever heard of constructive criticism without being hostile and rude?
I’ll bear this in mind
I have so many tall, rich, good looking, older guy friends. They all want to marry a virgin without college debt who lives with and respects her dad. She has to be nice on the inside with insecurities that he can help her overcome, not be an Instagram influencer.
The idea is to have kids with her, take financial care of her family, then fund her education for her fun, lifestyle business when she gets bored with shopping and exotic vacations.
However this is not realistic in the West where women in their 20s seem to prioritize college debt, situationships, and Boss Babe corporate ladder climbing lifestyle toil 😢.