Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy - JonTron
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2020
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R a i d
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Raid Shadow Leggings
No, i don't think i will.
No
No one gonna mention that Putin actually speaks english, but refused to speak english with Seagal?
Oh vlad does this with everyone, unless it's something important then he'll just use a translator
It's pretty hard to express yourself on the same level in a foreign language than in a native language, unless you have a speech prepared. Also, you'd probably expect someone who calls themselves a Russian to speak Russian.
The page I read basically said that he only spoke English during trips to English speaking nations for political reasons
@@mohammadalbader3538 still, that means he is able to. We should also remember that Putin has no normal background, wasn't He in the KGB? Surely people there learn languages.
@@pgreg8528 I believe he was either a KGB agent or leader
Steven Seagal the type of guy who has a girlfriend at a different school.
A really really hot one, according to him.
@@megavidaeos we haven't seen any pictures yet, but i trust him, he seems pretty happy with the relationship
Couldnt have said it better.
Terrifyingly accurate
Correct. I met up with him just last week, and he told me all about his new girlfriend at the local high school.
There are some things Seagal hasn't done yet:
A)Stay in shape.
B)Make a good movie.
C)Keep it real.
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
D) Fight for real/take a punch or hit.
E)Have a scene where theres no overly dramatic lighting on his face even though the scene is well lit.
F) Make a movie that fits his body type.
G) Stop lying.
I’m really questioning whether or not Seagal is really good at lying or if he actually believes his own bullshit.
Definetly not self- aware atleast
Yes
He's lied so many times that he believes his own lies
He’s insecure about looking weak because he got bullied as a kid and has asthma apparently
hes in too deep
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
"So how did you learn aikido?"
*I started learning karate at a young age*
I would actually love to see this dude having his mask broken. I want to see what he really is like but it feels like he's acting all the time
@@hollow8194 He probably learnt karate at a McDojo
😅😅😅
😂 You won.
Hahahaha
Apparently, Steven Seagal got to Jon and took revenge on him.
What happened to this guy I only watched his flex tape one did he quit TH-cam
@@kennynegron3291 nah he just as huge spaces between his uploads that’s all
@@mikewalker9057 he uploaded last December for that golden Adsense so he might suprise us this year. We will see
@@kynsilok I'm honestly hoping for another Tim Allen Christmas movie special
Let him out to do a goddamn shitty mobile game ad.
“You’re here to shoot the child, but only the child with the weapon”
Never fails to crack me up 😂
''Don't make me do this!''
Out of all the hilarious things in this video, it had to be the statement about shooting a kid.
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92
You boy of 12, with the shotgun, unhand your weapon! (slides down aggressively)
He "doesnt think jean claude is a martial artist" meanwhile jean claude is an actual certified black belt, fought on the Belgian karate team and won the European professional karate associations middleweight title, he literally beat the worlds 2nd best karate fighter at one point. This guy is smoking that copium for sure.
He was a martial artist however he let that go when his fame and ego got to him and now he's a sham hiding behind his former glory
@@vendriksondoesthings7911 I found Steven Seagal in the comments guys
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
Plus Van Damme got to be in a Mortal Kombat game.
@@LeeSixTwenty Isn't Johnny Cage based on him?
I bet Seagal will see this. He seems like the type of guy to Google himself pretty often.
Apparently that isn’t too far off
Weren’t he one of those guys that couldn’t handle people making fun of him in the past? not like Tom Cruise level but still pretty sensitive.
his mannerisms reminds me A LOT of Trump....super full of himself and not very bright.
@Chef_Hogan Your intuition is not far off the mark
Skull-chan yeah, there’s a story on TH-cam with an actor (I can’t remember his name at the moment). But the sum of it is, he laughed at Steven trying to be a hard ass and Steven hit him against a wall. You can find the story it’s not hard to find at all
Steven Seagal is the coolest, toughest, most talented and interesting person in the world, according to Steven Seagal.
The Steven Seagal when Harry Met Sally skit on SNL is a gem if you haven’t seen it
Yet he looks like an absolute and complete mong
And dangerously high in saturated fat and fructose
He's nowhere near as cool as RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!
*sniff*
Seagall's coke nail killed me. Even funnier with the snorts he kept making during the interview because the bump he took. Dude probably thinks he has tigers blood
I was just browsing the comment section hoping that somebody else had pointed this out 😆
Coke nail?
@jamesrosewell9081 it is a fingernail that some people that snort nose suger grow out so that they just scoop it with the nail and snort it. You can pick it up when it is just one long fingernail
He has been growing that coke nail since Under Siege
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
Nobody makes fun of Steven Seagal better than Steven Seagal.
He genuinely looks like a custom character in a cutscene when he's with putin
All I have to say is 12:49
Spy
Helo spy teeftoo
@@nrtouge SPAH SAPING MA SENTRY
He looks like a skin i downloaded for gta san andreas from gamebanana when i was a kid
He's basically that kid in middle school who took one karate lesson and became an expert on the art of war, except he's been doing it his whole life, and everyone just rolls with it for some reason.
This man has probably been to mars and back because there were no dojos
because he has money
Nah man this guy has been debunked a long time ago. Everyone knows he’s a fraud
We just wanna know what he's gonna do next.
Yes that is so true, he is that kid
The hugging and posing for photos with dictators really says the most about him
What's next, is he going to open CPAC with Victor Orban?
I agree
But To be fair, when it comes to dictators, being impolite can have really fatal consequences
But considering he signed up to meet with them that doesn’t really apply
But if I saw one in public I’d probably just nod before running away
Me, being an average, curious, non celebrity person... i feel like if i had the possibility of (safely) meeting some of histories most terrible and great people up close: id kinda want to.
Like, if i could meet Ghandi, Putin, Stalin, Washington, Robespierre, Francis of Assisi, Saladin... just to get a greater sense of what humanity is. Are these people really any different than the average person when you just sit down for tea? Is their evil/greatness they cause by circumstantial ambition?
but wanting to meet dictators just because you're famous and you have some ancestry that loosely ties you to those regions makes you kinda weird and icky.
@@Thalesium thanks for understanding, and thanks for noticing my error!
@@Soulraven2735you do realize cpac is pretty anti government right?
Here's a translation of his singing
"Now that you're gon' have to see
I got $700, baby
You ain't gon' remember me"
And then "Everybody knows I'm here!"
*actual gibberish*
I’m worried: Jon smack talked Steven Seagal and we haven’t heard from him since. I hope he hasn’t roughed him up too badly.
Yeah I hope Seagal's alright.
yeah
@@KenLinx Ouch..
I think hes dead
Nah, this is normal for him to suddenly disappear for a long time. He's still alive based off his Twitter feed (December 19th). So don't worry about it.
He's like that kid in school who has kept lying his way throughout the whole year but since he's too far in now he can't back out
Legit kept thinking "it's like a mom's basement dweller kid found how to bullshit his way into Hollywood because he's the edgiest guy out there"
Are you saying Steven Seagal is going to run for president?
@@Ails1234 yes exactly
Sounds like democrat politicians lol
"look at the way he cleans those dishes. Dude!"
Bruhhh that sheriff pounding his fingers on the table had me dying😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
14:33 Seagal has proven to be the living example of the quote
"The lights are on but nobody's home"
The reason he hasn't made a video in two months is that Steven Seagal tracked him down and killed him
8:01 you wonder why he got shot right here~ it’s just like Bruce’s son!
what the f-
That's so sad, RIP in peace John Tron
no it's because Raid shadow legends has him and his family hostage
being a jontron fan represented by spongebob *****spongebob by the mailbox***** IM WAITING, IM WAITING, IM WAITING *****patrick walks up***** WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING
Sometimes it boggles my mind that Steven Seagal is a real person. He’s like a character from South Park that came to life
Steven Segal in South Park is equally as ridiculous.
STEVEN SEBOOM BOOM
Steven Seagal is in a South park episode
@@lt187 Season 19 episode "Safe Space".
Sooo true
I think the most underrated part of this video is how Jon nailed how weirdly Seagal runs.
11:56 If you look closely, he basically did hit Steven's bullet hole, but he probably pretended like it wasn't close enough, because that would mean that his trainee is as good of a shooter as him.
Also, the guy was “training” actually had better control and trigger discipline over his weapon and probably shot better. Steven everytime he shot would jump the gun which is when you pull the gun up before pulling the trigger, thus affecting your shot. Dude is just a fraud.
Why didn’t Putin flip onto his ass when he shook Steven’s hand??
Best comment I have seen so far.
Putin weights 16 tons. He's pure adamantium.
Thats why he holds his own forearm, its to prevent his killer instinct from activating
LMAO
'Cause Putin is also a martial artist, so he tried to flip Seagal the other way around and they negated the yeet
If cameras were a bit lower, you could've seen the ground crack
Jon, blink twice if Raid: Shadow Legends has your family.
Me:blinks twice
Sam U oh god I was thinking the exact same thing. WE NEED TO HELP JON! Aaaaahhhh
4
John needs our help
The games shit dude but still a man has gotta do something to get money.
We need a part two to the epic saga of Steven Segal. Definitely gotta bring up the infamous pants pooping incident that he vehemently denies to this day.
This comment opens up a lot of questions.
@@robertcortez4956tldr, story goes, on set, he claimed he could get out of any chokehold in front of his stunt coordinator, who was a judo expert. They set up the chokehold, he tried and failed to get out of it, passing out and shitting his pants in process.
the _what_
@@galladegamerletsplaysok so basically
On the set of one of his movies, Steven claimed he could break any chokehold. Something about his “martial art skills” letting him do so. Now this guy, Gene LeBell, he’s a judo expert. And people wanted to see if he was actually able to do it or just sayin’ it, you know? So they set up the chokehold. When Steven says go, Gene starts choking them out. Steven tries to get out, fails. He passes out before he can tap out and shits an entire steak dinner while panicking. To this day, he denies it ever happened. Gene just said “When we had a little altercation or difference of opinion, there were thirty stuntmen and cameramen that were watching. Sometimes Steven has a tendency to cheese off the wrong people, and you can get hurt doing that.”
Gene’s supposedly got a history of telling tall tales but frankly I like to think it’s true considering how aggressively Seagal denied it.
It's kinda funny that your parody of steven is much more sympathetic than the real one.
MISSING
Jonathan Tronathan
Have you seen this man? He was last seen making fun of Steven Seagal.
Also answers to Timothy Brentwood
He's gone. Steve got him.
sounds like a jojo character
Dam has it really been five months
better get started with turning his subreddit into Scott the Woz's
again
Steven Seagal honestly seems like a character who would be on the simpsons or something as a parody of holywood martial artists
Hes on an episode of southpark thats about him being a pussy amd needing a safespace 😂
@@macharper5352 lol i was about to say that
Johnny Bravo had the best spoof version of Steven Seagal.
L
South Park baby
The whole chopsticks in the guns bit almost killed me, my lawyers will be in contact soon.
Segal is perhaps the most legendary Green Beret Ranger Special Forces Navy Seal Federal Investigator that ever lived.
Kind of worrying that jon disappears after he talks shit about steven seagal
He is active on his twitter... :-)
@@rdlegends3988 oh really? I dont have twitter whats he up to
@@redmenace5552 training to fight Steven seagal
I think he doesn't want to feel pressured to make videos
Steven flipped him like a pancake
Steven Seagal seems like the kind of guy who lied his way to everything and got too deep that he can’t turn back lol
Glad someone else thinks so as well. Lol
@@PunMister Which "anime" might that be, boss? Lmao
Pun Mister care to share?
Penile Necrosis he’s more like Mr. Satan from Dragon Ball Z.
I think this is what's actualy happen
Steven Frederic Seagal was born in Lansing, Michigan, on April 10, 1952,[12] the son of a medical technician and a mathematics teacher. His mother was of Irish descent, while his father was Jewish.[13] His paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants.[14] During an interview for the Russian talk show, Let Them Talk, Seagal stated that he has paternal ancestors from the Siberian city of Vladivostok, as well as Belarus and Saint Petersburg. He stated that genetic testing determined that he has Yakut and Buryat ancestry as well.[15]
Coincidentally - Steven Segal was also called by the coroner when Alec Baldwin shot that one woman on set as well. Sure enough, he struck gold again. It WAS, in fact, a bullet.
Regarding his comments about Jean-Claude Van Damme, This is from Wikipedia:
"In 2008, actor Sylvester Stallone declared to the British magazine FHM that "At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard." According to Stallone, Seagal made his excuses and left while Van Damme tracked him down at a nightclub and challenged him again. Stallone finished by stating "Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it."[82]"
Lmao
harry delgato well duh, everyone knows The Expendables is based on a true story as told by Stallone.
Say what you want about Van Dam's movies but the guy has balls.
+
As much as I enjoy both of their movies, I'd place my money on Jean Claude
Jon’s been real silent since he talked smack about Steven
True
O no
OH DAMMMM
*he's come for him*
Zoo race waa his last good video
Steven Seagal is like that kid on the playground who makes up crazy stories about himself. he insists that he fought a dinosaur and won
6:49 Never heard Jon laugh like that before
Segal acts like he’s going through a mid-life crisis, but that’s his whole personality
r/rareinsults ?
Agreed, Segal has been in a mid life crisis his entire life
Good description!
Ya but Hard To Kill is pretty cool tbh.
Dude. You just gave the perfect description I didn’t know existed
“You’re here to shoot the child but only the child with the weapon” -Steven Seagall -JonTron
I lost it at that line 😂
The funny part is it’s true
Timbuk204 use gun on child with gun
-Timbuk204
-Wayne Greztkey
-Michael Scott
I think there's a saying that you can judge a man by the company they keep. So Seagal being friends with Putin and Lukashenko really speaks for itself
Imagine you go to the park and Jontron is there dressed as fuckin Steven Seagal
so, is he just gonna disappear for another 12 months then come out with "Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy 2"
And then disappear again
@@BladeStorm4497Nah he's gonna do quality content at a refreshing pace for like 8 months before leaving for a full year. This is the cycle of Jon.
@@gwenpolo1307 It's a disappointing one. Glad I dont pay him.
Nah flex tape 3
I'd actually be down for that...i highly enjoyed this video
He’s like a human multi-tool, that doesn’t work well with anything.
more like just a human tool
So a dummy waiting for the ventriloquist to operate him
Or at all xd
A Swiss army knife created in Pakistan.
So a hammer with a Swiss cross
When Steven Seagull was born, the police chiefs of Romania and Nicaragua called his parents to congratulate them on the success. He joined the Romanian special forces at age 6 where he met the CEO of the CIA who hired him to become undercover president of the FBI.
I rewatch this video periodically. I don't know what it is about it, but it always has me coming back. Quality content.
Steven Segal happens to be whatever the situation calls for. Russian interview? He’s Russian. Military interview? Navy seal. Interview about Japanese culture? Trained with ninjas. Man of many supposed talents
He’s a master of 🐂💩
Don't forget when he suddenly turns black when around any black person.
Biggest fraud I’ve ever seen
Trained ninja 🥷 😂😂😂🤣 Nah trained turd 💩 .
Watch Woody Allen’s Zelig.
Raid Shadow Legends sponsorships are the closest we'll ever get to Jon doing Game Reviews again.
Update: I really love Jon's new videos, just thought I'd bring it up.
Update #2: I wouldn’t be surprised if Russia makes a movie about the invasion in the Ukraine and they get Steven Seagal as the Russian “hero” of the movie.
Sad but true
The truth hurts
😔
He’s lost the edge he had when he was younger, man. Changed style too.
Just compare his videos from the beginning with these now.
Still happy that he still churns out content though.
Edit: Full stop
@@user-sh4jk5pk6e true, he's inspired a lot of TH-camrs to spawn similar styles
Aikido was originally a hand based technique used to prohibit your opponent from drawing their sword. It was useful and fairly effective provided it was used in the right context.
I’ll never forget it. My mom had a friend of a friend come over to help with something and we got to talking.
The subject of martial arts was brought up and it turned out he was well versed in Aikido.
We get to talking some more and he explains how it works, yata-yata-yata, he starts to show me some moves.
One such demonstration he wanted me to throw a punch at him slowly. In martial arts demonstrations, it’s usually not a problem to go at a slower pace so you can better analyze the technique.
What he didn’t know was that I had a modest background in boxing. In boxing you’re taught to lead with your left rather than your right. So, in slow motion, I throw a jab with my left.
This startled him so much that he had to straight up stop the demonstration and ask me if I was left handed. I told him no but I knew some boxing.
So he explains that most guys throw punches with their right hand, so he straight up wants to start over but this time, he instructs me to throw with my right.
At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but now that I know much more about fighting, that was really pathetic.
Your “martial art” trains you so repetitively and monotonously that your reflexes are dulled to the point that you cannot even process something happening in SLOW MOTION.
If your martial arts school only does demonstrations without letting you spar, you’re not fighting, you’re doing choreography.
Karate is a big offender too in some cases. Many dojos don’t allow their students to spar because “the techniques are too dangerous”. So, when they go and pick a fight, they get their asses handed to them because their opponent wasn’t as complicit with being attacked as their dance partners were.
August 1, 2020 A man named John Tron went missing after smack talking Steven Seagal
Yes
John must have gotten flipped and then died
Hope he is good
Good to see another trooper in these comments.
Happy to see the boys in the comments remembering our fallen soldier
I feel Steven Seagal is almost doing a better job parodying himself than Jontron
I dunno man, Jontron does a pretty mean job of parodying himself too.
This does feel watered down. Diet Jontron.
He is like a GTA Character IRL.
Keyword: _Almost_
God Bless Your Perfection
Jontron's portrayal of Steven Seagal is more accurate than Steven himself.
He's kinda like Buzz Lightyear at the beginning of Toy Story when he thinks he's legitimately a space ranger because it said so on his box
If you try to tell him other ways, all it will say on your box is your name, date if birth and death date.
So this video is basically a irl version of toy story where Steven seagal is buzz lightyear and Jontron is woody and it's called guy story?
To infinity and beyond
@@TorusLotus he is the pandemic's minion
@@TorusLotus nah buzz cand do a karate chop and fall with style
Later that day, Steven Seagal found Jon and flipped him to death.
I mean, JonTron hasn't uploaded since this video. So I'd ask Steven Seagal.
this is 100% canon, rip jontron
F
Actually they ruled it as a suicide; he flipped himself to death.
@@user-rc3kr6dk8k because Steven segal was at his door
Why is nobody talking about how his karate story is straight up the story for karate kid-
Segal is truly a legend in his own mind
I've always felt that Steven Seagal is a parody of himself.
Like Meat Loaf
BondBurney.
Well, after he sold himself for the Russians, he is indeed a parody of himself
Pretty sure he’s a Family Guy cutaway that somehow gained sentience, escaped the cartoon world and killed/replaced the real Steven Segal
aaronsdavis two scoops
The fact that Steven Seagal learned martial arts from a short order cook in a back alley explains EVERYTHING.
seems like he's the type of guy who'll copy any movie he sees
Despite being a fake martial artist, he's still had good acting in some movies. His current endeavors are questionable, though. Least he's not getting cancelled.
That doesn't mean anything just someone's a short order cook doesn't mean they can't know martial arts you can't define somebody by their job title
@@borsemusic9928 True but when the result is Steven Seagal it all starts adding up.
When you say it like that it sounds like you are saying he isn't a real tough guy, better watch your back lol
That rubber arm is 100% comedic gold! I love it . Jon: Goes on hiatus again."I don't like where this is going".
17:04 this just shows how narcissistic he is. He's totally out of touch with reality " oh you're amazing!" LMAOOO
I like how Steven Seagal, man who thinks he’s dangerous, met Putin, an actual dangerous man.
Welp quite the odds
One sneeze can get you into the gulags
This Steven guy got lucky
Exactly
Ah yes puntin and stenven seabel
Putin was KGB and FSB
Steven seagal looks like a deepfake of himself on himself
Johntron dressed up as Steven seagal looks more like Steven seagal than Steven seagal looks like Steven seagal
It's like his face was on his body
Even his face looks out of place on his body
He can't just not look out of place
@@jc329co3
I say he looks more like Sam Hyde
I assume it's because we cannot comprehend an "accomplished" "actor" acting in such a way....but yet....beHOLD!!!
3:32 Is my favourite JonTron laugh ever. It makes me grin without fail.
Seagal has served in the Gravy Seals, Spaetzle Forces, Semper Pie, transferred to Delta Forks, then finished with a tour of Meal Team Six.
The only thing I want in life now is for Steven Seagal to teach Martial Arts to Gwyneth Paltrow, and at the end of the episode they meet up with Dan Akyroyd to drink some Crystal Head Vodka
And they get some leaks and use some flex seal
Then they all workout with OJ
golden and underrated comment
i mean, at least dan akroid sells drinkable vodka in a cool ass bottle. he's crazy but you get what you bought. out of the 3, he's the only one who's not a con artist, he's just a weird guy selling booze. i like like booze.
Mr Worldwide
Steven Seagal is like if Chuck Norris made up every joke and meme about himself and actually believed them to be true.
In Chuck's case though they are all true
chuck norris is a legit, black belt level martial artist and has proven it. steven segal is a joke.
@@aestrobloome Check Norris was one of the lucky few to battle Bruce Lee. What's in Steven Seagal's credit?
Chuck Norris was a 7 time full contact world champion during the golden age of fighting martial artists.Steves claim to fame in the real world of martial artists?
@@stuartward1755 JoJo makes Chuck Norris references.
The end of “The Maestro” bit is even funnier when you know what he’s actually saying, which is “EVREH BODEH KNOWS IM HERE”. In other words the lead guy was trying to like shout out Steven and how he’s excited that he’s there and Steven is just like “dude no shit everyone already knows”
We can all learn from his humility
I don’t think I'd trust Stephen Segal to tell me the details about Brandon Lee's death. I'll stick to what's been said by the crew and coroner.
Steven Seagal is just a katana neckbeard that made it to Hollywood. Kind of incredible really
I love how he puts an accent on "karate" but still pronounces it wrong.
The perfect description
Fully agree
Thank you for the perfect explanation.
Yeah, when he informed he was scouted not at an actual audition but a carnival show, I could only roll my eyes. I didn't know aikido masters needed to walk everywhere with a swagger to prove they're tough...on account of how peaceful the method is and it just uses the person's momentum against them. Between that and needing the gun, something tells me the gun would be his first method of defense in a fight.
Fun Fact, Sylvester Stallone has told a story of Seagal being a prick at a house party, and Van Damme called him out on it, saying he wanted to take it outside. Seagall then immediately got into his car and drove away. Van Damme followed him to a bar, and gave him the offer again, to which Seagall once again left.
Van Damme would destroy Seagal! Even looking at them today you can see Van Damme is in better fighting shape.
??? I need to see this
and van damme doesn't even need cocaine to defeat segal
You idiots. VD wouldn’t even touch him. He is the only westerner to TEACH aikido in Japan. VD knows his shit, he really does, but S is actually a master. As to why aikido looks false google it and you will understand. It’s all about that split second action, the momentum acts after that, if you done it well it’s over.
@@konstantinosmas3950 also hes a reincarnated Buddha
Brendan lee: gets shot
Set crew guy: call Steven seagall „hey Steven we shot a blank gun at Brendan but now he’s dead“
Steven Seagall: „yeah must have bin a bullet“
Set crew guy: „you’re amazing Steven“
Why is the visual of Steven segall playing on the swings with a stongebob ice cream from the ice cream truck literally the perfect description of my view of him😂😂😂
The only thing Steven Seagull is fighting now is diabetes.
Holy shit you fucking killed him dude
Talking about diabetes is Wilford brimley still alive?🤔
Oof
Travis McDowell Wilfred Brimley (dead) is still alive, yes.
Edit:
Jinxed it
And judging by his finger nails, a fungal infection as well.
Steven Seagal is that guy in high school who said he was a physcopath and that he could kill someone, but is scared to ask a waiter for water at a restaurant
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Obviously the act of asking for water at a restaurant, when performed by someone such as Steven, would cause the waiter's heart to stop out of fear. His schi (that's steven-chi, for those uninitiated) is so honed by his years of practice in Aistevedo that simply looking in someone's direction for any extended period of time could cause them to age rapidly (hence his schi blocking sunglasses, as seen in his meetings with Vlad and that Watermelon guy).
But yeah....I think you're probably right.
unfortunately that was me back in middle school
@@keane6 i have nothing to say besides... oof
Too scared to ask for water but not too scared to basically molest woman under the guise of a "massage"
He’s the type that would wear a trench coat and would act like he could kick a football players ass, but instead gets beat up behind a garbage bin.
He was seriously trying to reign himself in with those coke drips he was getting every time he sniffed and swallowed. 😂
10:00 Innacurate. Steven Seagal would NEVER run like that, even if the ice cream truck is around; that's obviously his walking/running stunt double.
And the wild jontron returns to his cave to hibernate once more.
But seriously, where is he at?
@@Joebama1911 Seagal and OJ "got even with him".
And to inhale MAGA copium
@@rakelodakel Twitter mob, eh? Why are you even here if you hate him so much? All it takes is just a single press on the “Ignore this Channel” button, my guy.
@@LocalGuardsman no
Steven Seagull: The Russian, The Asian, The Texan.
You missed Italian
*The Mongol-Russian-Jewish emperor of our hearts*
The black man
I thought he was native american...
Swift Nimblefoot nah he’s martian
Jon: How exactly do you wash a dish in a fashion that will impress a martial arts master?
My mind: …wax on, wax off…
Aikido is not a fake martial art. The origin of martial arts is not that of fighting, but in the name it itself....art. True aikido masters do hold some ability to use their art for defense, but those like Segall who pretend it is meant to be used as an offensive fighting technique, bring shame and confusion to some the most beautiful forms of human expression.
Yes and no. Aikido was developed by Morihei Ueshiba as a combination of his martial arts studies, religious beliefs and philosophies. Its intended use is as a method of defending oneself while also protecting the attacker from unnecessary harm. According to Wikipedia, the primary objective of aikido is to "overcome oneself instead of cultivating violence or aggressiveness."
So...its like dancing?
@marrow1243 if you see martial arts as a dance...then that is what it is for you. But it can be much more...depending on how far you want to push your limits.
@@marrow1243it's actually very good for learning to break falls, good for minimizing damage when you're thrown to the ground in a fight. A good martial artist combines the strengths of many arts to form a wide arsenal hence MMA was born.
@@sneakysnake7695 Oh, thats cool. So is Steven Seagal good at it?
Never seen a man so devoid of charisma he sucks the charm out of everything around him.
There's no fun, then there's ANTI-fun.
Not very nice to say that about Jon.
He doesn't suck the charisma, he destroys the charisma
I have. My dad.
Daniel 28893 he makes the charisma flip itself over during a “fight”
Fun fact: Steven Seagal repeatedly claimed that Jean Claude Van Damme's MA career was fake, and said that he could kick his ass. So Van Damme publicly challenged him to a fight. Seagal never turned up. For a while, Van Damme would try to get in the same place as Seagal, wanting to fight, but Seagal would always duck out whenever he heard he was there. This is because Van Damme has been challenged to fights before, and has multiple times whooped someone's ass as a result.
I still feel sorry for the guys who were stupid enough to challenge JCVD back when he was coked out of his mind, zero holding back of any kind from a kickbozer who could snap femurs with his kicks is an insane level of terrifying
JCVD got beat up by Chuck Zito. JCVD used to party hard and would get real sloppy at partys. Nothing really ever happened between Seagal and JCVD other than some sh*t talking, which Seagal defiantly started.
@@jasonmaxwell9762 nothing ever happened because Steven Seagull would run away like a little bitch and refused to square up. Dude is a fraud and always has been
Simple answer. Claude is not worthy of seagals time
seems very doubtfull if a coked out biker could knock him out with one punch i doubt he would have been afraid of him. also guys like stephen who think their god cough cough bruce lee cough cough wouldnt back down from that.
This is the first video ive seen on this channel. I havent laughed since 97. This dude had me in stitches. Def subscribed. Keep it up.
Steven Seagal is a 6’4 man with a napoleon complex 😂
Steven is one of the best examples of “fake it till you make it”
And then keep faking it
Fake it till you fake it
... except he never really made it.
@@EricDodsonLectures Except he did. Do you know how much money he made on Under Siege alone? Let alone all the other hits he was in from the 90s
@@chrisredfield6274 ... Well, there's more to life than money. In fact, it's entirely possible to be incredibly wealthy... and yet a complete, pathetic wreck of a human being in all of the ways that really matter. And I don't think you have to look too far into the realm of celebrity to find an easy confirmation of that. Such seems to be the case with Seagal.
I'm terrified that JonTron just turned around and got a perfect headshot on that paper dummy- The power this man has
Lmao
Nooo I had the nice amount of likes but several people liked at the same time!
GAMER
With his luck it probably was shot in just one take too
He did my dear, he did
The soul/blues singing sounded exactly like a sims 1 radio station
The "Japanese yoooo" at the end of the dish washing made me laugh my ass off 🤣
Is this the JonTron Waiting Room?
No. You can leave
Yes it is. The toilet is the fifth door on the right. If you need some food there is a restaurant on the other side of the street. If you are tired there are beds upstairs. If you wish to leave you can do so.
I got a reservation for next video, gonna be waiting a while.
Yes. Welcome.
No this is Patrick
Steven Seagal just constantly exudes that "I don't remember why I walked into this room" energy, even if he walked into the room to shake hands with Putin or eat carrots with a dictator
Hè alwas has a ''post nut clarity'' face.
Funny that ppl still call Lukaszenka a dictator only coz msm told them to and we all know msm are the truth temple...
@@Mark.13. dude i'm belarusian, and he IS a dictator
@@Mark.13. ah yes, he's only won every election since he became president while all of his political rivals mysteriously disappear or get arrested. Sounds perfectly normal to me
"Eat carrots with a dictator." Not a sentence I thought I'd hear
Steven Seagal knows Karate, Judo, Jujitso, Kung Fu and at least 20 other dangerous words
Aikido is the art of your training partner throwing themselves
“You’re here to shoot the child… but only the child with the gun”
I was fucking dying
Much like the child?
@@jawwer12.. but only the child with the weapon
9:00
Where you the child with the gun?
Don't make me do this!
Another fun fact about Steven Seagal, He once got choked out by a martial artist on set and shit his pants. True story look it up.
Wasnt it by Judo legend Gene Lebel?
And this was after he claimed his martial arts training made him immune to chokeholds
I’m so not surprised but still some good new info. Michael Jay White and JCVD would kick his teeth in with a hand tied behind their back. Seagal and Chuck Noris are the most overrated jokes on the planet. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
@@TBoneBG you would be wrong about Chuck Norris actually. If anything Chuck is better than Steven Seagal, because Chuck has actually mastered several forms of martial arts instead of just one like Seagal. Search up his history, he wasn't even meant to be an actor, he just happened to get some luck. Seagal Is truly the joke here.
@@TBoneBG yeah and to add what the other guy said chuck would actually very frequently visit and spar and train with bruce lee tho chuck being a tough guy never admits to being trained under him but still even just sparing with the great bruce lee for two years is more then the hack steven seagal could say he has done
17:14 "No, we didn't call the ambulance. We're calling you, dude."
No one's gonna talk about Jon's accuracy with his pistol?! If that isnt edited that's amazing