Robin Williams - "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
I was still in love when I broke up my long term relationship last year. Love indeed wasn't enough. I feel less lonely now while living alone. He found someone else to live with and he's happy. Life is good for both of us :)
Thank you so much. This is where I am. And it’s time to go. It’s so hard. And it was a special friendship but now it’s over. Need to let go. Their words are drastically different then their actions. This clears it up.
The hard part is how to find the person once I've healed myself and exited the really bad caretaking relationship. Leaving is basically just how do I raise the money to leave. But getting to something better is really not easy to visualize. There's being alone, and that's probably fine. Not really mad at you - you're the biggest help to my changes, but I get close to leaving and I get pulled back in and now, maybe it's too late for finding someone. It may just be better alone though. Scary as it is. Accepting that is the hard part. But...if the choices are misery and gatekept and alone and maybe moving on from misery...then I find the money and move on.
It's not about whether your partner is perfect or even able to show love most of the time. It's about whether how they treat you feels loving enough for you. And not using the concept that they love you as an excuse to put up with behavior that doesn't feel good for you.
You are amazing Noah …. I follow you since 2014 … I appreciate your content.. 10 years ago your channel helped me a lot when i was going through grieving after my mother passed away …. Thank you ❤️
Hi Noah, I would like to make a video suggestion: about how to get rid of anxiety regarding poor physical health and/or physical pain. Your videos have been incredibly helpful to me!
Dear Noah years ago, you literally saved me from suicidal thoughts. For that I don’t know how to thank you enough. And in this video you are pushing your finger right on a very painful spot in my heart. I spent and still spending years in this scenario until even I forget how to be happy and I lost the ability to evaluate my relationship, though deep down I feel not happy, fulfilled, even attracted. What is the thing I should change in this relationship? I have no idea!
Many confuse an unhealthy attachment as "love" or feelings of being "in love". It's hard to let go if you have an unhealthy attachment. Find out the root cause of the attachment and why this particular person triggers it. I noticed that there was one specific person who really triggered an unhealthy attachment in me to the point that it felt very obsessive. I recognized that this was unnatural because this person had so many red flags and didn't meet my standards/expectations of what I wanted in a mate. It turned out that this person and I have a spiritual soul contract. I didn't believe in that type of stuff at first but I did eventually become open to it because it was the only explanation that started making sense. Strangely enough, after I accepted this explanation, the strong feelings subsided to non-existent. The spiritual reached completion after I recognized and accepted it. So it could be a spiritual thing.
You know the biggest blockaged to my enlightenment/embodiment? I don't want to receive love because I "lit up". I HATED the contrast of being dismissed or unloved when I was in trauma or suffering and how shifting energetically changes everyone's attitude towards me. And my inner child DEFINATELY resists this diea "once you love yourself, someone else will love you". I mean, what kind of love is that, if I'm only being loved for my light qualities? Love isn't enduring suffering...but it's also not what you feel for someone when their light qualities wow you. I'd argue, if you can't see the light in someone in their worst of times, you never really loved them ot begin with. Love is true understanding, not vibrational infatuation.
"If they need help they'd better see a specialist"...not someone who gives up his desire to live from love and becomes a caretaker: I think you really nailed it...😮
Oh my god. This is happening. Not to me but my partner. He loves me fully but he doesnt feel the same. I love him but nowhere close to how much he loves me. No idea what to do. In his words, he's been trying to explain he doesnt feel my love. I am scared to access that love to give him.
I'm in that relationship. He's not going to change. He doesn't really want to change. But money, children, logistics... it'd be practically impossible. And you say we can find someone new and better but that just isn't true for everyone... I wonder if getting a couple needs met (alongside the gnawing loneliness) is better than not getting those needs met at all (but also not expecting them and being disappointed all the time, at least)? I'm so tired.
I hear you. I'm sorry you're in this situation. I understand. It's totally okay to stay in a situation that supports some of your needs because you're afraid leaving might put you in a worse situation. The important thing is just to be honest with yourself about why you're staying, to accept your partner as they are, and try to get your needs met more within yourself and from friends. Good luck!
Romance is overrated. Take aways sex from the equation what's there you need another human for? It's mostly human fear at play. Society us show us being in a couple as valuable. By default, you are slightly lower in the pecking order as you grow older by being single. If it weren't for THAT..... 99% of relationships wouldn't exist. Sure, it's nice to have companionship...just like with friendship....but how many can survive the soul's desire for higher allignment or personal authenticity? How many cool humans with a similar value system are there on planet Earth for each of us? The game is rigged, my people. I think as multidimensional souls, in other civilizations ....there is a place for deep bonding because everyone is ALREADY rooted in deep unconditional love for all. ....but that paradigm doesn't fit here in this dense context. So we are stuck between the soul's natural remembrance of what romance COULD be.......and the reality of trauma and fear and general incompatibility with others down here. Game's rigged :)
Robin Williams - "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
Interesting
Love is as love DOES. The End.
in other word your action speak louder then your words
I was still in love when I broke up my long term relationship last year. Love indeed wasn't enough. I feel less lonely now while living alone.
He found someone else to live with and he's happy. Life is good for both of us :)
I'm happy you're feeling less lonely now Elise :)
@@NoahElkrief Thank you ^^
I've been doing better and better since leaving. I'm glad I made the choice.
Love is a verb. It's a beautiful garden that needs maintaining.
Okay, I've watched the full video. This is such an important message for people to hear. Thank you for spreading it.
You're welcome!
This is spot on! My bf didn’t believe my love but I don’t think he’s capable bc of all his trauma he endured. Ty Noah! More on this subject please!?
You're welcome. Yeah, unfortunately, that's quite a common one.
Thank you so much. This is where I am. And it’s time to go. It’s so hard. And it was a special friendship but now it’s over. Need to let go. Their words are drastically different then their actions. This clears it up.
You're welcome. Good luck!
This reminded me of certain relationship where I was told I was loved but it felt the opposite. Great info!
Same with me I have people say that they love me but yeah it doesn't feel
The hard part is how to find the person once I've healed myself and exited the really bad caretaking relationship. Leaving is basically just how do I raise the money to leave. But getting to something better is really not easy to visualize. There's being alone, and that's probably fine. Not really mad at you - you're the biggest help to my changes, but I get close to leaving and I get pulled back in and now, maybe it's too late for finding someone. It may just be better alone though. Scary as it is. Accepting that is the hard part. But...if the choices are misery and gatekept and alone and maybe moving on from misery...then I find the money and move on.
I hear you. Good luck!
but who is able to show love most of the time, no one is perfect. We lead busy lives no one can be on point moment to moment
It's not about whether your partner is perfect or even able to show love most of the time. It's about whether how they treat you feels loving enough for you. And not using the concept that they love you as an excuse to put up with behavior that doesn't feel good for you.
@@NoahElkrief How important it is - thank you - Dziękuję !
So well explained1 Recognizing my own low self esteem. I am almost mesmerised by the way you talk through camera and monitor I feel adressed. Great!
I just found your video and I think you’re great! God bless you Noah ❤
Wow this is eye opening. Thank You!
Ive been listening to you for years Noah. I bought your book years ago. Thank you!💙
You're welcome Annette!
Thanks! ❤
You are amazing Noah …. I follow you since 2014 … I appreciate your content.. 10 years ago your channel helped me a lot when i was going through grieving after my mother passed away …. Thank you ❤️
Hi Noah,
I would like to make a video suggestion: about how to get rid of anxiety regarding poor physical health and/or physical pain. Your videos have been incredibly helpful to me!
So very true. Thank you Noah for another amazing video ❤
Dear Noah years ago, you literally saved me from suicidal thoughts. For that I don’t know how to thank you enough. And in this video you are pushing your finger right on a very painful spot in my heart. I spent and still spending years in this scenario until even I forget how to be happy and I lost the ability to evaluate my relationship, though deep down I feel not happy, fulfilled, even attracted.
What is the thing I should change in this relationship? I have no idea!
I'm happy I was able to help you back then Muhammadissa. Wishing you lots of clarity about what to do in your relationship!
Hello Noah, it’s really nice to see that you really enjoy making these videos and helping people. Keep up the amazing work ❤
:) thank you
One of best videos
God helped me out
Thank you very very much!
You are welcome Margaret!
Many confuse an unhealthy attachment as "love" or feelings of being "in love". It's hard to let go if you have an unhealthy attachment. Find out the root cause of the attachment and why this particular person triggers it. I noticed that there was one specific person who really triggered an unhealthy attachment in me to the point that it felt very obsessive. I recognized that this was unnatural because this person had so many red flags and didn't meet my standards/expectations of what I wanted in a mate. It turned out that this person and I have a spiritual soul contract. I didn't believe in that type of stuff at first but I did eventually become open to it because it was the only explanation that started making sense. Strangely enough, after I accepted this explanation, the strong feelings subsided to non-existent. The spiritual reached completion after I recognized and accepted it. So it could be a spiritual thing.
You know the biggest blockaged to my enlightenment/embodiment? I don't want to receive love because I "lit up". I HATED the contrast of being dismissed or unloved when I was in trauma or suffering and how shifting energetically changes everyone's attitude towards me. And my inner child DEFINATELY resists this diea "once you love yourself, someone else will love you". I mean, what kind of love is that, if I'm only being loved for my light qualities?
Love isn't enduring suffering...but it's also not what you feel for someone when their light qualities wow you. I'd argue, if you can't see the light in someone in their worst of times, you never really loved them ot begin with. Love is true understanding, not vibrational infatuation.
Your videos are really helpful Noah!!❤❤❤❤
:) Happy to hear it
Great video! Thank you very much
You're welcome James!
"If they need help they'd better see a specialist"...not someone who gives up his desire to live from love and becomes a caretaker: I think you really nailed it...😮
Good job 👍
I love u Noah❤
love doesn't pay the bills. As Gwen Guthrie sang, there ain't nothing going on but the rent.
Damn this is good
Do you think you will offer your self sabotage course again?
You can still access the course at this link: noahelkrief.com/the-end-of-self-sabotage
Oh my god. This is happening. Not to me but my partner. He loves me fully but he doesnt feel the same. I love him but nowhere close to how much he loves me. No idea what to do. In his words, he's been trying to explain he doesnt feel my love. I am scared to access that love to give him.
I hear you. It can be scary to open our hearts.
I'm in that relationship. He's not going to change. He doesn't really want to change. But money, children, logistics... it'd be practically impossible. And you say we can find someone new and better but that just isn't true for everyone... I wonder if getting a couple needs met (alongside the gnawing loneliness) is better than not getting those needs met at all (but also not expecting them and being disappointed all the time, at least)? I'm so tired.
I hear you. I'm sorry you're in this situation. I understand. It's totally okay to stay in a situation that supports some of your needs because you're afraid leaving might put you in a worse situation. The important thing is just to be honest with yourself about why you're staying, to accept your partner as they are, and try to get your needs met more within yourself and from friends. Good luck!
Romance is overrated. Take aways sex from the equation what's there you need another human for? It's mostly human fear at play. Society us show us being in a couple as valuable. By default, you are slightly lower in the pecking order as you grow older by being single. If it weren't for THAT..... 99% of relationships wouldn't exist.
Sure, it's nice to have companionship...just like with friendship....but how many can survive the soul's desire for higher allignment or personal authenticity?
How many cool humans with a similar value system are there on planet Earth for each of us? The game is rigged, my people. I think as multidimensional souls, in other civilizations ....there is a place for deep bonding because everyone is ALREADY rooted in deep unconditional love for all. ....but that paradigm doesn't fit here in this dense context. So we are stuck between the soul's natural remembrance of what romance COULD be.......and the reality of trauma and fear and general incompatibility with others down here.
Game's rigged :)