Great topic. The first thing my in-laws asked when we told them we were going to do IVF was, “Do you think your marriage can handle that?” And although that’s not great to hear, now that we’ve been through it I realize that it really is the biggest stressor we’ve ever had in our relationship (even worse than having to cancel our wedding during COVID). We made it through but I definitely agree things are just different now. Intimacy is different. It makes us view our family building differently, and how we experience being in proximity to other friends and family having children. But we are stronger for it. We empathize with each other in a way that no one else ever will be able to. We are so grateful IVF worked for us and we will never ever take our story for granted.
Thank you so much for sharing!! It makes me feel good that you can relate lol, even though these circumstances are less than optimal. And congratulations on a successful IVF cycle!! 🎉💕 I’m so happy to hear you guys came out the other side still strong even though different now, just like us but that’s ok. It’s all part of life; change is part of life💗
I had to pause the video to comment this - thank you for saying that the woman is going through everything and it feels like you're the one putting in all the effort. I cannot tell you how much this has frustrated me during our IUI and IVF journeys. I work full time as many women these days and it's SO HARD from so many angles. The fertility clinic only contacts me, even for the couple of appointments and forms he had to go to/sign, which just added so much more on to my plate. I had to coordinate all of the appointments, and dealing with all of the insurance issues, and the pre-authorization process, dealing with the multiple pharmacies and arranging deliveries making sure they could be signed for, and paying all the bills on time, and making sure we took all of the required training modules, read through all the paperwork, signed all the forms, coordinating and going to all of the appointments, and yes - the injections and hormones and emotions and bloating and ovaries and breasts getting tender... The emotionally weight and stress. I cannot tell you how much more involved this process has been from what i expected. And my husband was the one that gave me every injection, which helped tremendously. But it's something i really struggled with (not to mention i was in the process of selling my house i had before we got married, and found out i had a separate health issue involving all sorts of other issues, on top of my stressful job that i hate)... I mean, honestly - it would have been so nice to know all of this going in. And it's so frustrating that my fertility clinic only communicated with me. I will say my husband acknowledged i was the one taking the brunt of all of this and tried to be supportive, but this was like 1% on him, 99% me.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this!! Thank you so much for sharing! I know I can 💯 relate and I know many women out there can too. It’s such a difficult thing to go through for both, but I definitely think the one going through IVF takes the brunt of it. It’s such a hard journey to navigate and I’m so sorry you had to go through so much alone! I hope life is getting a little easier for you now🙏
This. I love my husband and he is supportive…but this often feels like I’m shouldering 99% of this journey. And that’s not even on him- everything you said.
I totally agree with going through IVF and how it’s not as magical as other people expect because we needed that extra help. Me and my husband did go through a rough time where IVF wasn’t a good idea for us so we waited to do the transfer and now we have a 6 month old baby boy that is our greatest blessing. IVF definitely makes us appreciate life even more because of all the hard work we’ve gone through and will go through again to give our son a sibling.
I agree with Josh, and I'd like to add something. Men are usually the problem solvers and protectors, but sometimes we struggle silently because we feel unable to help or do much, we become emotional punching bags during IVF. So even though the IVF, as you stated, is mainly the women doing the work, I can say from my experience that we guys go through the ringer mentally during this period. It's how I feel right now with my wife. But I just wanted to share.
Thank you so very much for sharing!! The guy’s perspective is incredibly important! And thank you for being willing to express your viewpoint as well❤️ I can see how you guys would struggle mentally WOW! My hubby is definitely a problem solver and protector and I know he felt helpless which I know is very frustrating and ultimately negative impacts the relationship. Wishing you guys the very best!🙏 Quinn sends lots of baby dust your way💕💕
Communication is really a key to every step of relationship and definitely when couple is going through IVF. My partner is a woman and she did a whole set of hormonal therapy, but no eggs were matured, so we moved to me and started IVF process which worked. Whole emotional roller-coaster was so challenging. Going through shots, through ultrasounds, through all the news good and bad. Thought that my partner is not going to be a bio parent or she wont experience pregnancy etc. At the same time she is worried that all the body stress of pregnancy and shots and egg retrieval etc is on me. And then choosing a donor, waiting for 100 different tests. Omg, it was a very bumpy road, but it did made our relationship stronger. Our baby due is in mid December. We can't wait to meet our son.
Thank you so very much for sharing all of this!!😭 You two have definitely been through A LOT!! I’m so so happy to hear you’re pregnant!! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to you guys!🎉💕👏 Keep loving on each other, especially as baby comes and through postpartum. What a testimony you have!!💗
I did my first IVF cycle last month. I took off from work during those 2-3 weeks so that I could minimize my stress levels. I stayed home and ate well, watched my favorite tv shows. I’m going to be starting my 2nd cycle next month and will take off from work again.
With all due respect but having children is not "more stressful than the ivf process". Ivf puts your "normal" life on hold indefinitely and it ends every aspect of our life on top of what we're already dealing with - emotionally, financially, relationships, self worth, body image, career, our idea of a family (as we don't have our miracle baby) our future, the list is endless. To top it off there's no guarantee o ivf working either so u are literally on hold. Trust me having been on this journey for 5 years and underwent 8 embryo transfers I would be so very grateful to have even one child than go through this hell 😢
Oh my goodness WOW 😳 you have been through SO MUCH!!😭😭 I’m incredibly sorry, and I pray that you will finally get your miracle soon!💕 Are you planning on trying again?? Ok so compared to your horribly rough battle with IVF, maybe postpartum is not that bad compared to what you’ve gone through…but that doesn’t take away from the fact that my postpartum journey has been very difficult to say the least. Also, going through IVF is completely different than going through being a brand new mom with a brand new baby and navigating all of that! I wanted a baby so badly too, and I’m so so so thankful for my miracle, but my postpartum journey has been filled with sleepless nights and overwhelming anxiety. Now 6 months postpartum, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, but I’m forever changed too. Anyways, thank you so much for sharing your journey and keep me posted as to what happens next for you!❤️
Im doing ivf injections now and i lnow what you mean im at a stressful stage now i cant wait to finish my injections i feel like he is not understanding what i need im upset he is upset if im angry he gets angry at me he thinks im at my normal stage im shy to tell him that those hormones are kind of playing on me i keep blaming him to put me through this because he was healthy he had good sperm then he was taking steroids for tge gym he took them for soo long he didn't listen to me when i told him tgis will affect your sperm now he has soo much issues that even science cant solve or treat so lucky he still has some sperm to do ivf at least im mad at him also because i wanted to have a baby for a long time he didnt want to when he was healthy
I’m so incredibly sorry girl!! Everything you’re feeling is valid and so many feel the same way going through the horrible injections. Remember that you don’t know for sure if the steroids are what caused the low sperm count/quality…he might have already had this to begin with. Yes steroids have the potential to cause male fertility problems, but not on every guy. It is what it is, it’s all going to be ok! Just keep telling him how you feel and I hope he truly cares about you to respond with love. But yeah, blaming just makes the situation you can’t change worse. You got this girl!! I know you can do it!!💕🤗
Great topic. The first thing my in-laws asked when we told them we were going to do IVF was, “Do you think your marriage can handle that?” And although that’s not great to hear, now that we’ve been through it I realize that it really is the biggest stressor we’ve ever had in our relationship (even worse than having to cancel our wedding during COVID). We made it through but I definitely agree things are just different now. Intimacy is different. It makes us view our family building differently, and how we experience being in proximity to other friends and family having children. But we are stronger for it. We empathize with each other in a way that no one else ever will be able to. We are so grateful IVF worked for us and we will never ever take our story for granted.
Thank you so much for sharing!! It makes me feel good that you can relate lol, even though these circumstances are less than optimal. And congratulations on a successful IVF cycle!!
🎉💕 I’m so happy to hear you guys came out the other side still strong even though different now, just like us but that’s ok. It’s all part of life; change is part of life💗
I had to pause the video to comment this - thank you for saying that the woman is going through everything and it feels like you're the one putting in all the effort. I cannot tell you how much this has frustrated me during our IUI and IVF journeys. I work full time as many women these days and it's SO HARD from so many angles. The fertility clinic only contacts me, even for the couple of appointments and forms he had to go to/sign, which just added so much more on to my plate. I had to coordinate all of the appointments, and dealing with all of the insurance issues, and the pre-authorization process, dealing with the multiple pharmacies and arranging deliveries making sure they could be signed for, and paying all the bills on time, and making sure we took all of the required training modules, read through all the paperwork, signed all the forms, coordinating and going to all of the appointments, and yes - the injections and hormones and emotions and bloating and ovaries and breasts getting tender... The emotionally weight and stress. I cannot tell you how much more involved this process has been from what i expected. And my husband was the one that gave me every injection, which helped tremendously. But it's something i really struggled with (not to mention i was in the process of selling my house i had before we got married, and found out i had a separate health issue involving all sorts of other issues, on top of my stressful job that i hate)... I mean, honestly - it would have been so nice to know all of this going in. And it's so frustrating that my fertility clinic only communicated with me. I will say my husband acknowledged i was the one taking the brunt of all of this and tried to be supportive, but this was like 1% on him, 99% me.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this!! Thank you so much for sharing! I know I can 💯 relate and I know many women out there can too. It’s such a difficult thing to go through for both, but I definitely think the one going through IVF takes the brunt of it. It’s such a hard journey to navigate and I’m so sorry you had to go through so much alone! I hope life is getting a little easier for you now🙏
This. I love my husband and he is supportive…but this often feels like I’m shouldering 99% of this journey. And that’s not even on him- everything you said.
I totally agree with going through IVF and how it’s not as magical as other people expect because we needed that extra help. Me and my husband did go through a rough time where IVF wasn’t a good idea for us so we waited to do the transfer and now we have a 6 month old baby boy that is our greatest blessing. IVF definitely makes us appreciate life even more because of all the hard work we’ve gone through and will go through again to give our son a sibling.
I agree with Josh, and I'd like to add something. Men are usually the problem solvers and protectors, but sometimes we struggle silently because we feel unable to help or do much, we become emotional punching bags during IVF. So even though the IVF, as you stated, is mainly the women doing the work, I can say from my experience that we guys go through the ringer mentally during this period. It's how I feel right now with my wife. But I just wanted to share.
Thank you so very much for sharing!! The guy’s perspective is incredibly important! And thank you for being willing to express your viewpoint as well❤️ I can see how you guys would struggle mentally WOW! My hubby is definitely a problem solver and protector and I know he felt helpless which I know is very frustrating and ultimately negative impacts the relationship. Wishing you guys the very best!🙏 Quinn sends lots of baby dust your way💕💕
Communication is really a key to every step of relationship and definitely when couple is going through IVF. My partner is a woman and she did a whole set of hormonal therapy, but no eggs were matured, so we moved to me and started IVF process which worked. Whole emotional roller-coaster was so challenging. Going through shots, through ultrasounds, through all the news good and bad. Thought that my partner is not going to be a bio parent or she wont experience pregnancy etc. At the same time she is worried that all the body stress of pregnancy and shots and egg retrieval etc is on me. And then choosing a donor, waiting for 100 different tests. Omg, it was a very bumpy road, but it did made our relationship stronger. Our baby due is in mid December. We can't wait to meet our son.
Thank you so very much for sharing all of this!!😭 You two have definitely been through A LOT!! I’m so so happy to hear you’re pregnant!! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to you guys!🎉💕👏 Keep loving on each other, especially as baby comes and through postpartum. What a testimony you have!!💗
I did my first IVF cycle last month. I took off from work during those 2-3 weeks so that I could minimize my stress levels. I stayed home and ate well, watched my favorite tv shows. I’m going to be starting my 2nd cycle next month and will take off from work again.
Good for you girl!! That’s amazing you’re able to take off of work to take care of yourself!👏 good for you and it will definitely pay off!!
With all due respect but having children is not "more stressful than the ivf process". Ivf puts your "normal" life on hold indefinitely and it ends every aspect of our life on top of what we're already dealing with - emotionally, financially, relationships, self worth, body image, career, our idea of a family (as we don't have our miracle baby) our future, the list is endless. To top it off there's no guarantee o ivf working either so u are literally on hold. Trust me having been on this journey for 5 years and underwent 8 embryo transfers I would be so very grateful to have even one child than go through this hell 😢
Oh my goodness WOW 😳 you have been through SO MUCH!!😭😭 I’m incredibly sorry, and I pray that you will finally get your miracle soon!💕 Are you planning on trying again??
Ok so compared to your horribly rough battle with IVF, maybe postpartum is not that bad compared to what you’ve gone through…but that doesn’t take away from the fact that my postpartum journey has been very difficult to say the least. Also, going through IVF is completely different than going through being a brand new mom with a brand new baby and navigating all of that! I wanted a baby so badly too, and I’m so so so thankful for my miracle, but my postpartum journey has been filled with sleepless nights and overwhelming anxiety. Now 6 months postpartum, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, but I’m forever changed too.
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing your journey and keep me posted as to what happens next for you!❤️
I love all these comments. All the emotions matter. I need it.
I really appreciate this
Aww you are so welcome!❤️
Im doing ivf injections now and i lnow what you mean im at a stressful stage now i cant wait to finish my injections i feel like he is not understanding what i need im upset he is upset if im angry he gets angry at me he thinks im at my normal stage im shy to tell him that those hormones are kind of playing on me i keep blaming him to put me through this because he was healthy he had good sperm then he was taking steroids for tge gym he took them for soo long he didn't listen to me when i told him tgis will affect your sperm now he has soo much issues that even science cant solve or treat so lucky he still has some sperm to do ivf at least im mad at him also because i wanted to have a baby for a long time he didnt want to when he was healthy
I’m so incredibly sorry girl!! Everything you’re feeling is valid and so many feel the same way going through the horrible injections. Remember that you don’t know for sure if the steroids are what caused the low sperm count/quality…he might have already had this to begin with. Yes steroids have the potential to cause male fertility problems, but not on every guy. It is what it is, it’s all going to be ok! Just keep telling him how you feel and I hope he truly cares about you to respond with love. But yeah, blaming just makes the situation you can’t change worse.
You got this girl!! I know you can do it!!💕🤗