10 month relation just this month went to go visit her, had the most intimate moment with any girl i've ever been with. I belived what i was doing with her was worth waiting for as to me she was "the one" but it turns out I was just one of many for her. She used me and now I'm hurt and without hope. This holiday I had planned it for us, with her family, with her friends. I though I was doing everything right with the girl I though I was going to marry. Instead I'm nothing now, and it hurts so damn much being back home being reminded of everything I ever did with her here and now wondering what kind of life will she have without me. If I'm as horrible as she says I am. I dont want to try again because it hurts and I never want someone to deal with my broken self.
will take time, a lot of it, to be willing to try again. don't ruminate about how or when or if you are going to be able to move on. just take each day one at a time. eat some good food do activities you like. hope you can enjoy your holiday best you can G
Couldn't agree more on the negativity a victim mentality brings. Each passing day under it's influence further conditions one to "accept" themselves as unworthy of healing and thus sets themselves up for settling for less they feel they deserve as a human being...healthy relationships with others but most importantly themselves. Not hard to guess you do some reading, or speaking from experience...or both! 🤔
i do do some reading and have some experience. do do hahaha. but i feel the same yes thinking of yourself as a "victim" is a hard label to outrun. it is very encompassing as well. the difference between "suffering from" and "having" something ig
read a little bit of books (philosophy is good) and then think a lot about it. try to frame the book's concepts in terms of your life until you get somewhere. then when you talk about it out loud focus more on getting the guts of your point out accurately first; it's ok if you sound monotone at times or need to pause. this muscle will take time to build so be patient. how i mostly fixed my avoidant attachment style: - lessening my exposure to victim mindset media (instagram reels trying to romanticize never being good enough, etc) - consuming less sad films, anything trying to normalize/romanticize this damaging behavior - pushing thru being vulnerable with others even when i was trying to self sabatoge. you don't realize until you get to the other side (healed) how genuinely annoying you/other people who self-sabotage are, esp when then seek pity for it afterwards. it is ok to recognize when you are not ok but it is not ok to stay that way and expect society to accept your behavior as it is now.
"As long as you're alive, you're young."
Beautiful
Live long enough and you forget where scars came from. Awesome thoughts ❤
10 month relation just this month went to go visit her, had the most intimate moment with any girl i've ever been with. I belived what i was doing with her was worth waiting for as to me she was "the one" but it turns out I was just one of many for her. She used me and now I'm hurt and without hope. This holiday I had planned it for us, with her family, with her friends.
I though I was doing everything right with the girl I though I was going to marry. Instead I'm nothing now, and it hurts so damn much being back home being reminded of everything I ever did with her here and now wondering what kind of life will she have without me. If I'm as horrible as she says I am.
I dont want to try again because it hurts and I never want someone to deal with my broken self.
will take time, a lot of it, to be willing to try again. don't ruminate about how or when or if you are going to be able to move on. just take each day one at a time. eat some good food do activities you like. hope you can enjoy your holiday best you can G
Thanks, real one
You are very wise lady suki
For me it's that i was distracted but never healed 😭
I'd never hurt you ❤
Couldn't agree more on the negativity a victim mentality brings. Each passing day under it's influence further conditions one to "accept" themselves as unworthy of healing and thus sets themselves up for settling for less they feel they deserve as a human being...healthy relationships with others but most importantly themselves.
Not hard to guess you do some reading, or speaking from experience...or both! 🤔
i do do some reading and have some experience. do do hahaha. but i feel the same yes thinking of yourself as a "victim" is a hard label to outrun. it is very encompassing as well. the difference between
"suffering from" and "having" something ig
Wow. Thank you suki the timing is impeccable. How did you learn like how to talk about this kind of stuff and how do fix it?
read a little bit of books (philosophy is good) and then think a lot about it. try to frame the book's concepts in terms of your life until you get somewhere. then when you talk about it out loud focus more on getting the guts of your point out accurately first; it's ok if you sound monotone at times or need to pause. this muscle will take time to build so be patient.
how i mostly fixed my avoidant attachment style:
- lessening my exposure to victim mindset media (instagram reels trying to romanticize never being good enough, etc)
- consuming less sad films, anything trying to normalize/romanticize this damaging behavior
- pushing thru being vulnerable with others even when i was trying to self sabatoge.
you don't realize until you get to the other side (healed) how genuinely annoying you/other people who self-sabotage are, esp when then seek pity for it afterwards. it is ok to recognize when you are not ok but it is not ok to stay that way and expect society to accept your behavior as it is now.
@ you are genuinely so like emotionally intelligent thank you seriously
👍
ha man there's this girl, that i'm tOO afraid to fall hard. I know why youtube is recommending me this video.