HOW to DETACH. Detachment IS the game changer.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มี.ค. 2023
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Never make another person the centre of your world... The ONLY person who should be centre of your world/life is YOU! ❤
Hard for INFJs.
Women have no problem with that philosophy.
My childrens are center of my world right now!
I believe this is so true even in spiritual term. It’s ok to centre around Me Myself and I .. w/out intentionally hurt others.
❤this
"You need to get as obsessed as you feel about other people about yourself" - This is what I needed to hear.
I question the wisdom of being obsessed.
😂you are so selfish so empty so shallow dieing to self I'd the way to true freedom
I hope your detachment journey is going well!. Remember you are the only being in your universe.
I like this a lot. But since I already know my deepest parts of me even though I may totally not be aware of certain things, my neurodivergence, will not let me even attempt to think this way.
@@humanyodaobsession is an indication of intense and complicated emotions. Same with addiction.... Both concepts have something to do with making something a priority that shouldn't be a priority.
thank you scarlett johannson for teaching me about the law of detachment
I agree
😂😂
😂😂
😂
This character is amazing 😆😆😆
"We're almost blind to the fact that we are here to live one life and the quality of it needs to be amazing. The man needs to add something to your life. You don't need to struggle like a mule up the hill of life with him on your back, doing nothing. Why? Were you born to carry this man on you at the detriment to you?" 🤣
Cracked me up so hard!
Same with women
😂😂👌🏽
I revel in being a mule
it cracked me up too!!! nicely said 😂❤❤❤😊
So true where are you from?
I'm embarrassed to say this anxious attachment made me develop serious stalking tendencies, even to guys I barely knew. It brought me nothing but pain in the end, it didn't change a thing.
I can relate being too attached to anything takes away your freedom subconsciously while cultivating other destructive tendencies
How did you heal?
@@justanotherviewer00 I didn't.. I don't believe we can ever fully heal. Its ongoing, constantly in a flux. It's a relief to know this. It's also a relief when you realise wanting to be healed, rather than accepting where you are, is what is causing inner turmoil and conflict. I am at point a (suffering, grief, anxiety) I desire point b (healing, peace) the desire itself is actually causing more conflict and grief. I sank into point a, and flipped point b the bird.
@@laoisemeehan you will heal,
I no longer carry shame that I was unfortunately sexually assaulted at 7.
We can heal with effort.
Jameela jamil coined it perfectly in her interview with Russell brand.
Always asking myself, how did I become like this? Have I always been like this?
Great message! Over 20 years ago my very wise, beautiful wife said to me, "just make me feel loved, appreicated and safe" and you will get all you want from a wife. She was so right! I love, work hard and protect her and she inately respect me, which is all a man really wants. To often today there is a struggle for "respect" in a relationship. She told me my job was to love her and respect is an automatic byproduct of that love from a woman. On top of everything else she is so amazing at...honestly 30 years later and I am far less worthy of that woman than I was the first day I met her. Praise God.
That's beautiful ❤
How wonderful ❤
Or do the same thing for your loved one and get dumped by her. Women can be cruel
You are worthy of her since you were able to give her what she wanted which was love, appreciation and safety
@@juliusmatuzevicius maybe because you are cruel
This made me cry like the entire video just thinking about how much time I’ve wasted wanting people to like me, when the whole time I just need me to like me. Thank you for all of your videos they are helping me through the tough test period of my life ❤
Yes it has been such a time waster but Im so grateful to still be able to learn
I’m already in that situation again, and I realised few days ago that you should love your internal self first than to rush yourself to fit in with some people. But it’s actually those people choice to whether they want your attention or not even though it’s complicated. Especially nothing in this world is perfect. So I decided to accept how it is, having to just start re-focusing on myself again and be more careful with my energy that’s not force
I remember when I first heard this quote "You are not your thoughts", it really changed the way I looked at myself. Detaching myself from my thoughts really helped me improve my confidence and I generally accepted myself more. I always thought of myself like I was a loser, weirdo etc. But those were just thoughts, not reality. Something so simple, yet it changed my life completely.
"Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions." - Marcus Aurelius
Uh, you're kinda your thoughts.
A better concept is, "You're not the toxic thoughts you were programmed to have as a child." Question your initial reactions. Chances are your lizard brain is kicking in. Children take shortcuts to survive. You formulate emotional responses to get your shit bag parents on board to better respond to you. That's what most people are dealing with.
same I love that, I want to remember it more often “allow the thoughts to pass like clouds” is another similar favorite that grounds me. Like when I feel super sad, I feel guilty about feeling sad and then I remember those quotes and allow myself to feel sad. and funny enough.. the sadness goes away lol
@Dr. Christopher Johnson hi
I love this comment so much! Thank You 🙏🏼 😊. Blessings your way ❤
Spending more time with yourself helps a lot. I can quickly attach to people but I also quickly dettach. I know I'll be fine without them cuz I've done almost everything on my own. You have to find your own worth and focus on yourself, you should always be your top priority!
This was such an important point - spending time befriending yourself DOES make a huge difference because you can rely on what YOU think instead of negating it for what other think. Great point Mel!
Exactly 💯 since my childhood i been doing all alone .but some voids made me feel i need anybody i need to rely on them ..yes i did but now i have realized it really very well that i can do better alone i have the power to love myself and not let anyone make me attach to them and then leave me like a dog panting in summers and crying .i know myself ,my priorities , my soul what I need and moreover i am now familiar with my great self ❤
This is why isolation is crucial, find yourself before finding others.
Indeed you wont have to find them after you have found yourself, for your authenticity will be that magnetising.
That's true.. I've been a loner since I can Remember, it's easy for me to detach. I do feel emotional & all but it goes away quicker because being alone is quite a thing for me.
Its just finding your own worth has been the hardest part for me....
I was feeling so low yesterday because I couldn’t control how I felt about him and why he didn’t choose me. But I came to a realisation to detach. Then this morning, you posted! Universe is divine and that you appeared on my TH-cam page.. WOW! Thank you so much Margarita!
This happened EXACTLY in the same way with me! Wow
@@beautybrandy9816 wow really!!! Collectively trying to detach! Love that for you! 💕
This was timely for me too, right on time right now.🕊
same here. this was absolutely not a coincidence haha
i have been in ur place then i detached completely three weeks before like no contact at all and now am feeling really good trust the process and be disciplined
Detachment will give your partner the freedom to come closer to you.
If you are attached to an image of a person, how you want them to be
Then you are trying to control the result, the situation, the person, constantly observing them
People feel that
They are energetic beings
They feel your life and purpose are predicated on their actions and reactions
How can they be themselves?
(notes for myself)
Screenshot this. Thank you.
Great points. And, if I may add, it gives you and them the freedom to recognize "this person isn't for me, and that's ok". Sometimes I personally find myself involved with people I don't really want to be with, but I'm afraid to break it off.
Insightful!❤
But how do we know if out anxious feelings are activated by someone who is manipulative and withholding basic respect? How do we know if it's us, both or just a response to a person who is playing our mind.
Confusing bc the advise is often: set boundaries, don't accept breadcrumbs.
I recently ecoressed my confusion to a guy who would go quiet for 4 days. I tried to endure but eventually I told him we are not compatible. He was surprises and said he is emotionally unavailable.
I still don't know if I ruined it. I don't chase or text nor call. So I control myself but if i really feel low and disrespected I will tell someone if they want me they will stay. I'm sad still but it is what it is.
He said it's not sustainable.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650
I'd advise that you let them go. If you're strong enough to be broken then you can wait on them. Sad truth, they're just who they are.
I personally got anxious due to the inconsistence, lies and manipulatolion. I don't know what took me this long, I'm in the beginning of a break up initiated by him. I hope and pray I don't come back here to write about this in the next 5 years. My mind is done, my heart? Am still talking and begging it to let go because that is what I would like. I don't know how but I know it is what I want now, I really don't care about what will the future be like, I know the future I want is a future with peace, love, trust, respect and transparency.
All the best🌺
This woman seems to be the only person I can hear for my currently fragile heart. Deep down there’s a huge confidence inside of me, thank you for helping me find it.
If anyone cheats you will eventually find out sooner or later without searching the stuff. You'll drive yourself crazy. Self worth in yourself is so important.
This is such a great point ! I've been there and it almost drove me nuts trying to find evidence, which I found 😢. But these days, I don't even care to look through phones or social media ! Detachment has given me such peace of mind !
Just make sure to protect yourself and your health if you get the sense that something is amiss 💕 you can’t control them, but hopefully you can minimize any damage from the situation
Absolutely!!
So if you just randomly say that you prefer to start using protection (if y’all aren’t)then what if they ask why? Do you just tell them the truth? Just curious when it comes to that.*@@nailahdavis569
This is basically how I eventually stopped drivigg by myself crazy which a partner who abuses alcohol. I used to search the house up and down much to the detriment of my mental health. Finally one day I decided I was done searching. Because I knew that if they were drinking… it would find me eventually.
You're so right! My ex left me and I never would have- if he didn't. Thank God, because I walked straight into the love of my life. Detachment means opening your eyes to the reality of the situation, not romanticising the good parts. Detach for yourself and actually visualise your future life; it works.
Your advice is spot on I've been trying to figure out why I got so attached in the first place and I think I now realize it is me not liking where my life is at now and sort of looking for an escape through someone. The solution is to focus solely on creating a life you like and then everything would fall into place.
Best Podcast
That is It in a nutshell. I know this is the case for me too. It’s like you think that person being in your life will solve your problems for you and it’s an easier route in your head because it requires no effort to let someone do it for you, but because you can’t control people or force them to do what you want and solve your problems that the real solution is solving your problems for yourself because you are the only person you can affect and truly control. Besides most people don’t like to have someone who is heavily dependent on them.
Yes take of “you” first, and everything will fall in place😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏
😊
💯
having an anxious attachment style is rough, I just met this man and every day I fear he'll find someone better and block me. I find myself over analyzing everything which I know isn't healthy. After a weekend camping with my family where I spent the majority of it by my phone waiting for a message back (which sometimes took hours) and it put a dent on my entire trip I decided it was time for me to detach.
I’m actually going through something like this , I think I have expectations about how she should treat me and I and making steps to disregard those thoughts and expectations from her . The truth and fact is that she does care and love me . She send me pictures of her smiling , she tells me when she’s going to head out and fills me in in her day to day and I believe it’s my own thing that I have from my past damages that I have accumulated over the last about 10 years from inconsistent women . And I love this women already and want to better my mental security for her . This video and creator is helping me realize this adjustment of myself that I need to put this in myself
In 23 minutes you've changed me more than my therapist of 4 months. thank you
That’s incredible to hear 😍
I'm also seeing a therapist. I have been doing the work myself for two years until I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to a therapist to help me. I told him everything I've been working on and how it bothers me that my trauma has a hand in it. The man just repeated everything I had diagnosed in a firmer tone expecting me to look surprised, and considering that was my first therapy session, I was disappointed honestly. I don't think I want to go back
Very very wise lady she’s amazing it is about owning who you are and working with that. BTW Most therapist are text book they come from an academic background and use their intellect to “listen” and help . If they are inexperienced in real life issues there will be a disconnect between therapist and patient( for want of better word) which will be apparent.
I started detaching when I learned about simulation theory. I swear, within moments of just stopping the momentum of "control" everything was magnetized toward me! People started to bend over backwards to make me happy because there is something magnetic about someone that is indifferent.
what is that theory exactly about?
Can you elaborate on how the theory effected your behavior? Very interestjng
Can you tell us more? I am so happy your in a good place and good things are happening to you.
Isn't it so weird how people want what they can't have. You get more of what you want by acting aloof than you will being anxious & trying to prove your worth.
This is a good point. Basically because its all a virtual video game, there is no point in taking everything especially yourself, so seriously. So chill out, be indifferent, but love and trust. This is my struggle. Although I've been aware of this for awhile now, I never applied it to my attachment style. It's so easy to get caught up in this life
31 years old and because of YOU I'm just now figuring out why I am the way I am. Letting go feels so good. You're amazing keep helping others!
same girl, i started working with my self concept but deep down i still needed to hear this from someone. Even though men that i liked approached me, in my early to mid twenties, i just didn't have the confidence and would ended up chasing them and giving desperate vibes. Just like margarita, i had attachment issues and they'd ghosted me or used me. Now that I've been watching her videos i realized what are the things that I was doing right and what are the things that messed up my relationship with those men.
This is my first video I’m seeing by you. I’m currently pregnant by someone who gave me a sense of security and safety and I felt like it would last forever. After I found out I was pregnant he said he didn’t love me as much anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me. I’ve been hurting so much. Your video really really got through to me and you said everything I NEEDED to hear. It hurts but I want to be happy again and your words have fully made me accept I need to detach. Thank you, you’re truly making an impact. Godbless you and Thank You 🙏!
i hope everything works out for you 🩷
I'm so sorry what you've been through... May God give you strength and patience and bring your life new miracles and more self-love...
I am so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best in your journey with your baby ❤
❤❤❤
I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Sending you so much love and strength ❤❤❤
"if you're sitting there focusing constantly about when he's going to propose, he's not got anything to propose to. because you've become a mirror of his expectation." this is it. this is what changed everything for me. thank you
could you elaborate this? I didnt quite understand and i really wish to understand/grasp this...
@@Zelanias Same..I don't really understand
I also don't understand.
What does that mean
can you explain?
Sounds like mental boundaries, but with yourself. We are not taught boundaries with our own thoughts. Self-integration, self-love is mastery. Thanks for the video. It was interesting!
Great way to see it
Rx, meditation
Facts!
"Mental boundaries, but with youself" very well said
For someone with bpd, "detachment can literally save your life." Is a very real thing.
“You don’t need to struggle like a mule up the hill of life with him on your back” 😂so much wisdom ❤❤❤❤❤
“If you’re sitting there focusing constantly about when hew going to propose, he’s not got anything to propose TO, because you’ve become a mirror of his expectation” MINDBLOWING
My life moves with grace.
I use my intuition wisely.
I see connections and the deeper truths.
All that I need is within me.
I dwell in the state of presence.
I am a timeless, eternal being,
connected to the wisdom of the Universe.
I see challenges in my life with great clarity.
I learn from the challenges in my life,
they are spiritual lessons.
I love and accept myself.
I open myself to insights and clarity.
Sooo beautiful!
I've always had a very repetitive cycle when it comes to romantic partners; falling for charming people who said words of comfort easily which made me feel safe but their actions would not match what they say. It would be a repetitive cycle of me hanging on to breadcrumbs and people-pleasing in order for them to remain interested in me. I started getting better after several heartbreaks and at one point, I finally started the journey to fall in love with myself in my late 20s.
I was really loving myself being single and I had no desire to date at all until this year when I started talking with a guy and the familiar feelings of a crush started to appear because he is very similar to the type I would fall for, except this time, he was less available.
All of a sudden the work that I had put into loving myself disappeared and the last few weeks had me constantly being anxious when he wouldn't reply and thoughts of a failed outcome would plague my mind to the point that it disrupted my work. It was only a few days ago that I found your videos and only today that I got caught in another anxious cycle of waiting for him to reply that I decided I have had enough of tiring myself out, losing sleep, losing appetite, losing time and sight of myself, just because of the potential of this connection.
Thank you so much for making these videos; now I am on the process of learning to love myself even more and this time, with the added element of being interested in another. This will really help to challenge my own love for myself and how to balance it with my feelings for another, and I will work hard to get to a healthy space for it. Thank you for your videos, really ❤
So very relatable 😊 ❤ ..
your story sounds extremely similar to mine! we are never alone 🤍
I'm going through this now. It's even harder when the person isn't toxic and is a really great human who does show up for you...they just don't think you are their ultimate person.
Taking a person off the pedestal and blocking them for good often helps me in this kind of a situation. If it gives you butterflies and anxiety it’s not good for you. Look at it this way ; You have attached yourself to the possible future which you will not get to with someone who’s inconsistent, they don’t value you enough to worry about not disappointing you… are you not better off counting your losses now rather than holding onto the illusion of a bag full of air for months?
@@tsitsih15 i agree with fully removing them and access to them such as social media, old photos, etc. Blocking completely removes my anxiety. Now they are not in my realm, we cannot communicate and I am freed up to enjoy my time with people who are not devaluing me. It pains me when any of us choose folks who devalue us. I think most times these situations start off magical so we have no idea a few months in their avoidance and other issues are going to now come to the surface. All of a sudden we are confused and want the magic back. I use block frequently now when I start to feel like someone is keeping me around as a placeholder. I am no placeholder. And often all I am missing is the physical closeness and sex,which can be had by others.
The teacher comes when the student is ready! Thank you for this message. Beautiful soul 💫
I have ton of ideas for the podcast…
1)NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HOW TO HEAL & how to go about it.
2)How to let go of fears in a relationship & not self sabotage
3)How to heal inner child
Look Up Alan Robarge
Attachment Trauma Therapist
Or If You Prefer The Personal Development School Is Another Place
I’m a 44 year old male and I amd so thankful for finding this video. I really needed it. I find myself getting attached to things, losing myself, and wondering why I’m never good enough. I’ve missed out on so many relationships and opportunities because I was stuck on one person or job that I was dysfunctionally attached to.
But the experiences taught you something, didn’t they?
Same here. I'm in therapy trying my best to work through it. I hope you consider doing the same.
Obviously bad experiences can teach you some things, but there should be more to life than constant painful lessons.
Been there, so unhealthy.
Same for me now. Working through all this. Blessings 🙌🏽
Margarita this is beautiful. I agree. I stayed with someone for 9 years and tried to make it work. I am ashamed of how desperate I was . That was not love. I was afraid to be alone
are you still together or did he break up with you?
@@zinazoulou3574"That was not love." Sounds like they are not together anymore.
The cheesecake moment blew my mind.
I am 30+. And my entire life has been mirroring others and bringing them what they want instead of authentically showing up as myself. 🧀
I loved the cheesecake story too
Same, but I do actually love both chocolate cake and cheesecake and ALSO carrot cake and redvelvet cake😂😂😂
But isn’t it normal to want to give people things they like? Tf is the point of giving other people things I like 😂 I don’t get it.
I could relate to the cheesecake story so much!!! All this time I thought I had to sacrifice my wants and needs. I should just show up as myself!❤
@@Jennijennijenni You simply don’t have everything for everybody, so it’s a metaphor for the unique things you have to offer.
When we detach from needing that universal approval, even haters will respect that cheesecake’s cheesecake and it’s loved by many.
“The way to make a person do good to you is to speak into them as if they are”
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I really wanna hear more about this!!!!!!
Hi Diana tweet t greeI hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you…. T
"There are many ways to take this video", is very true. My fear of detaching is about my job. It's tiring, unorganized and somewhat toxic. I want to leave it, but I'm scared to. I know I will be leaving the job soon though. I have to for my peace of mind.Thank you. This is helping me face my fears.
Update: I left. I don't have my dream job just yet, but the new one now is way better, so I'm grateful 😁 while still working towards my goals.
Good for you!
Going through a hard breakup being dumped as a anxious attached. The quote about not running to bring the chocolate cake is a new mantra of mine.❤
Well said❤ "detachment can help you control your reality without letting it control you!"
I needed to see this. My life motto is now “so what?” It used to be “It is what it is.” But now it doesn’t feel as carefree or unbothered enough.
“So what?” if I get broken up with? “So what?” if I’m not married yet? It doesn’t matter in the end, it won’t matter 10 years from now. Learning to detach and live graciously
Love this motto 💪
What a beautiful video! I didn’t quite understand the concept of detachment until I saw your video. I will definitely be practicing the tools you shared towards achieving detachments.
Love this too !!
Why won’t it matter in the end? Because you have faith there will be something else? Or because you feel apathy for life? Sadly it does matter, at least to me. If you want to have children it matters. If you want to have stability it matters. If you want company in old age it matters.
@@jaybee4288 I made an error. I was trying to say if it won’t matter 10 years from now, it’s not going to matter in the end. So it’s not worth worrying about
Gotta keep in mind what matters. Everything has to be put into proper perspective
It’s always easy to speak on this subject once you have gone through the process of detachment. When your in it … it hits way different . I know my time is coming of not being attached to my person
Of course it's not easy, baby. But once you start doing the work to get there, it will get better with time! Trust me. You'll be fine.
Michelle jones, you're words sing like the pigs oink, and the words bark like the moon. I'm kidding.
I thought I comment because I agree, I just wish for people to think independently, not by stupidity, dumb opinion that is formed by well, stupidity. I'm all for the best, and the greatest, growth.
Struggling with this same thing Michelle. It sounds so solid and makes perfect sense, but trying to do it is overwhelming
Same place at the moment 🥺
I really need this to happen, been almost 24hrs no contact from me. I've got this..............................update
Still no contact yet, last we spoke was April 10th 2023, I kept texting no replies
Today is 25th, I totally stopped....il be back.
........someone should like this inna few weeks as a reminder, I'm presenting the best version of myself.......I've got this
May 24th 2023 ....Still Zero Contact. Achieved so much inna space of 2 months almost, now my head is clear.
100% Detached ❤️🌺I love ME. Who's next to like?
Everyone would go through their own processes but at different speed.
Oh detachment! How I love it! Went from anxious to detached thanks to a heartbreak I had no control over. Went through self soothing and self affirmation. The spot light is on me now…winter to summer ☀️
This video has helped me detach from my husband of 30 years who recently cheated on me. It’s been one year and I listen to your video over and over and it helps me more than therapy. Thank you Margarita🙏❤️
Hi Teresa I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
I wish you strength, courage, love and healing🙏 live your life as you want, YOU are your true love&soulmate. Nobody else.
My dad always said the truth will always come out, that I don't need to be a FBI hehe. 😂 I am glad I am this way I do not lose myself when I am in relationships I am very emotionally independent. I seriously bounce back fast I will cry 48 hrs and pick myself next and block that devil human being from my heart as I love myself way too much. It feels good being confident always been confident.
Detachment and letting go is the key for happiness, learnt it myself the hard way!!
I used to be so self confident. All of the sudden, I feel as if I’ve found myself so dependent on surrounding my happiness around other people. This video really heals my heart
If you feel a disconnect or the energy that your partner is experiencing situations with another person, your intuition is on point.
Detachment is not easy! It’s possibly the most difficult emotion to overcome.
I’m so glad I went thru his phone ! He always said I could and there’s no lock sooo. trust your intuition . Now I’m single and grateful
Same! I'm happy I did too! I wasn't frantic, I found what I suspected, I was relieved! I moved on happily!
I’ve been working on myself and I thought I was strong. I recently spiraled after losing my job and ruined the connection I had because my attachment anxiety was blowing out of proportion. I’m working on balancing myself again and getting back on my feet.
I'm a man and I can totally relate what you are saying. Mind is your enemy especially if you are delusional. Be thankful for the lessons, I know it's hard to let go but ask yourself if that brings peace in your mind. Be smart in your own body, mind, and life. Use it with care my friends
Whenever I get anxious I take a step back and bring full awareness to it, like taking a pause by looking at the " anxious flare up " for what it is and let it pass by giving myself love and compassion. Being an anxious person is like having a little personality disorder that needs to be manager, but the good thing is that you can eventually be a secure person over time
This is so so so timely. Literally the universe had to force me into detachment from someone that I love who was spiraling.
No amount of love, intimacy, or soft guidance can save someone committed to dysfunction.
I finally accepted that the lesson was not in me proving I could "help" or save this person. But in the fact that I should be ok with help/saving myself- even if it means letting this person go to figure it out.
It was really really hard but I appreciate how the universe send me these little nuggets of wisdom like today in your video just to say: You're doing the right thing keep going. So thank you
Well said and yes we need to save ourselves, if the person you are trying to help is a true narcissist they won't appreciate you trying to help them.🕊
@@steadypace1262 exactly and so many of the covert traits are there. Hindsight is always 20/20. Is it just me or is that emotional disorder pretty rampant nowadays
@@alunalalune8691 We are living in a more narcissistic age that's for sure, the amount of crimes out there now being committed by some adults and even children now is quite disturbing. Without empathy a person's heart can grow cold very quickly.
@@steadypace1262 please be safe out there…
@@alunalalune8691 Thank you and take good care of yourself too.👍🤗
I have recently started my journey towards detachment because my heart was broken pretty badly and I was trying to find a way out of my attachment towards that person. Unfortunately I started taking steps back into my old habits again, obsessing etc. Then I found your video today and it was a much needed reminder for me to start cultivating myself and stop pouring my energy into that person.
Thank you so so much! And to everyone watching, I wish you all the best on your journey - you are enough and don't need to be completed by somebody or something else! :)
Wishing you all the best too ❤ and a peace of mind ! Not being attached is such an empowering feeling !
❤
"I'm here to bring cheesecake" this is incredibly clear and makes so much sense.
“Sometimes we are blind to the fact that we’re here to live one life and the quality of it needs to be amazing.” Absolutely! I’m sharing that!
Great topic! Control is all about FEAR. Fear of unplanned situations and not knowing how 1 will deal with it in the moment
The pep talk I needed. No one, except you, was able to help me with my anxious attachment. I feel like I am going through a deep transformation and it was long overdue. My head was torturing me with all this anxiety and nearly ruined my most precious relationship. Detachment felt so unfair. It felt so unfair that after all these years and efforts, my heart and willpower is drained. Despite getting its value and importance, I still don't like it. I am still wounded and I pray that in some time, I can cry happy tears that I am still alive and going stronger than before. Thank you for your videos, I needed them to redirect my head. There's nothing worse than having a great life on the outside with so many things people pray for, while inside my head there is just mental torture, hopelessness, and the wish to die. It feels so fucking unfair to detach from my most beloved wishes for my life because they were the reasons I was motivated to do anything. I cultivated so much talent, discipline and knowledge, but it does not give me any joy without connection.
You're not alone
wow, i feel this so hard. good luck on your journey 🤍
Don't give up
❤
“If you want to be happy, be IT”. Woah…. I don’t know why… but this statement is powerful. Thank you.
What i learned-Operating in a place of desperation is the worst and you’re slower to react it will demonstrate where you are. Nothing in this world is certain but if you allow things/people/world to throw you around and not have an enter Center(God for me) “You will spend the rest of your life always trying to get back on your feet!”Omg, Epic!
You are telling the TRUTH. Only people who use detachment in our daily lives can talk about old life scenes without feeling or reliving the pain. Not everyone can. It feels like a movie or halftime tape review! 🏈
Exactly
I've done it. But I have regressed. Trying to get back to that point in my headspace. Struggling to remember the steps I took that got me there.
The irony of leaving a cheater only to meet someone equally as useless, had Children with him only to discover he has no motivation or drive for life his abuse is insane does absolutely nothing with his kids lies to me and steals from me, I want to run. I detached from him a long time ago but have been living under the same roof and now it’s unbearable and I need to leave this situation so my kids can have a happier life ❤ it’s hard and I feel financial trapped but I will do it.
Why didnt you see the signs? The Onus somewhat is on you.
I'm always trying to take detachment to the next level... I learned to detach from physical pain and I don't need painkillers anymore. Once you study it and learn it it no longer seems so unreal....If you think about it, detachment is what all the great mystics were talking about. Good luck =)
Going through a 7 year breakup. I lived with this person for 6 years and now I’m just completely alone. I can’t stop thinking about him…
This video is so helpful. I’m really trying to detach myself
Hope you get better
It will take some time to heal
But you will get better one day
You are the most person in your life, love yourself ❤❤❤
Trust me. After few months you won't even feel anything for that person. Give yourself sometime. It does get's better ♥️
@@rajanyasarkar5033 Thank you so much. It’s still really hard but I’m getting through it. It’ll all be ok eventually
In 2020, as I watched my strong and usually healthy mom on life support, I realized how little control we really have. I stopped fighting to keep her alive and release control to God. One week later, she woke up from coma and came off that life support.
Praise the Lord ❤
Wow!
When I tell you that this woman has opened my eyes and came into my life at the most perfect time. As someone that has struggled with anxious attachment in relationships for years on and off and it recently coming back up again in my current relationship, I really needed these videos. I’m currently trying to learn and implement detachment, ways to lessen my anxious attachment and to tune in to my feminine energy. All of this information overload is overwhelming but Margarita does an amazing job in every video to get to the point, not to sugar coat things, and telling me exactly what I’ve been needing to hear to snap myself out of my anxieties and unhealthy habits.
Hi melrose I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Why does it have to be so lonely?
The universe truly works in wonders. I am thankful to have come across your video! My anxious attachment has caused nothing but inner turmoil which in turn leaked into external destruction (that I am currently facing). The checking phone thing you mentioned here is truly pointless-you will find what you seek out. Now, I am focusing on self love and being 100% and secure within myself. At the end of the day my thoughts and actions can only be controlled by me. If I know this about myself then it’s foolish to try and control someone else. If they choose to cheat, it’s on them. What isn’t meant for you will exit out your life. I pray everyone heals and at some point reach forgiveness within themselves and others💚
This is 💯 true ! I recently went through a period of intense turmoil after finding out that my partner was intimately speaking to someone else outside our relationship. I obsessed about going thru the phone ans social media
As part of my journey and working on myself, I discovered detachment and these days, I could care less about looking at phones or social media.. I have the mantra of what's meant to be found out will be found out [ without me losing my sanity] and what's meant to be will be ! And if someone wants to cheat, that's on them and has nothing to do with my self worth ! I'm still in the process of fully integrating this into my life !
This literally came in divine timing. I came to the realization yesterday that I need to detach, and then I woke up to this video. Such divine timing and confirmation, thank you 🙏 💝 Can’t wait for the podcast!! 🎉
Same!!!!!!!
You are so correct, It’s been a process to not personalize what others choose to do, I’m still me and it has nothing to do with me, I’ve learned that I’m enough and if someone else doesn’t see that it’s not for them to see or they Dont have the capacity to. What’s outside of me DOESNT matters more than what is in me!
Preach! 👏🏾
Podcast?! Yes!
Self confidence,
Self love
Self worth
And the how to’s
More about anxious attachment and how to get out of it. Yay🎉🎉🎉
You have hit on some valuable stuff. Your 'chocolate cake' to 'cheesecake' analogy was an answer that I have been searching for for a years- that of becoming indispensable. Love it. Keep dropping the gems!
I agree. Great analogy😊
Attached to nothing, connected to everything, and so it is. Thank you for sharing. Working on this myself at the moment.
I'm going through a bit of a heartbreak right now and slowly beginning to realise how my anxious attachment issues are affecting my relationships with people. Your videos are really helping me and rewatching them at times when I find myself struggling.
Omg I’m so grateful for my ex who cheated as well!!! Omg I detached so quick and my life took off and I literally tripled my income and my life is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I’m so in love with life!
@@tylerlee27 4 years ago. I’ve been traveling the world and met an amazing man and life is truly beautiful. I’ve come so far from that broken woman in a one bedroom apartment barely making it. Detachment changes things.
I am pretty sure my sprit guides led me to you because since I have found your videos, I have applied everything and read the books you suggested. In a couple of months, I have shifted significantly and have saved myself and my relationship. Learning about my anxious attachment and why I do what I do has led me to a healing journey I never thought was possible. Thank you for this information. ❤
What books did you read that helped you ?
@@ms.harripersad8227 id like to know too!
Stay away from thus spirit guide stuff please. As a fellow human I am telling you it is not what you think. Call out to God. The real God. If possible get a copy of the Holy Quran if you truly want to heal. May God bless you.
@@ms.harripersad8227 Attached, How to be in Adult Relationships, The Tao of Dating, The Four Agreements, and my current read is Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Super fascinating book.
@@JMarkYo Attached, How to be in Adult Relationships, The Tao of Dating, The Four Agreements, and my current read is Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Super fascinating book.
I also grew up like this. Due to fear and unfair treatments . Reactive, masculine, angry, dependent. Thank you again
I have had problems with being too attached my whole life and it can really be something dark and destructive. I was on a date yesterday and just waiting for the text reply the day after is all that I can think about. When I see somone I really like then I don’t want to wait a second. I’ll listen to this video 2-3 times as meditation haha. It won’t solve the way my entire brain works but it will make me feel 20% better today. Thank you for making this video ❤
I have such a toxic relationship with someone in my life and I needed this! It’s so hard to let go when you love someone. But when enough is enough I have felt that “STOP” feeling about this person.
Hi I judy my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
@@Raymondgogolfstop preying on women
Can’t wait for this podcast. I could benefit from hours and hours of “attachment theory”. And you’re so good at talking about it because you’ve lived through it.
You speak like the big sister that I never had. Thankyou. 😢💜💜
When i feel shaken up or stressed out, I come to you and listen to your calming voice.
One more thing, as someone who’s dad also left when they were young and you came to terms with it, I would you love to hear more about that if you’re comfortable to share ❤
I will yes for sure ❤
I think it’s beautiful that you and your wife found each other. A woman who feels loved, safe and cared for will give you a mountain of love. I haven’t found a man offering this where the attraction is mutual. Haven’t found anyone so it is discouraging.
I watch this whenever I’m feeling anxious or my thoughts are becoming negative. Thank you, it brings me back to my own self worth 😊
I absolutely LOVE this video. I couldn't agree more. The more we love and prioritize ourselves the more attractive we become. This is tried and true in my dating history over the years. The more anxiously attached I am, the more I push them away, but when I focus on me and not really on them, they chase. The tough thing is that I only become anxiously attached when I really love them so it's challenging for me unless I do what feels unnatural which is to pull away and that's the opposite of what I want. It works, but it doesn't feel good because of the inner turmoil it has caused to get me there. That's why I push people away now. I love being by myself and in control of my own emotions. When I fall in love I lose control and it doesn't feel natural. The same person who I keep pushing away keeps coming back and I'm too in love to say no but I'm pushing him away so I can keep doing the work I need to do on myself without the distraction of mixed emotions.
I do this too(im a man I realize this video is geared to woman moreso). I become anxiously attached when i love someone , i think because my wife left me suddenly and unexpectedly(blindsided) so new relationships I anxiously attach. This video really helps me
@@jeedwards1981 Thais Gibson on TH-cam has some great videos about attachment styles. I'm obsessed with learning about them. Obviously there's a whole human and circumstance behind every attachment/avoidant style, but I find it healing diving into all this.
This feels like the greatest therapy lesson we all needed. Thank you so much for making this essential realization so easy to grasp. I will keep watching this video anytime I let a guy or a situation dictate my happiness. ❤
I’m a man in love with an avoidant woman and a few of your videos have really helped me these past few days. You’re radiating a kind of ferocious truth and addressing these topics with a unique clarity and I really appreciate it. Thank you.
How beautiful and amazing, may your love find her way and you find yours, both together and detachedly
what I like about having detachment as a goal is that it applies to EVERYTHING. Ive realized I attached my value with my ability to make money or whether I earn money or not at the moment, and now I have the intention to detach that in order to feel valueable regardless of my working situation
When you put yourself first it’s very easy to detached… I’ve mastered that over the years and you have so much power of yourself and the energy around you because you’re in control of YOU
This was necessary for me to hear at this specific time in my life. I grip on for dear life to feelings and concepts that I feel are "right" and yet ultimately limits/hurts me in the end. I'm going to work on dethatching from concepts in the way you describe, taking many steps back and observing through a more neutral lens. This was very helpful and perfectly stated, Margarita!
THANK YOU! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. I will obv not be able to not feel attached right away but I know this is one of many things I need to work on. I am learning this the hard way right now, me and the love of my life are separating due to my past traumas and severe anxious attachment that have ruled our lives for almost 3 years now. I have a hard time letting go because we both still have hopes of a future together, and the fear of what might happen in the "in between" is killing me.. I have been crying everyday for two months, we still live together but i am moving out soon, back to my home town on the other side of the country, and it literally feels like not only my heart is breaking but my whole body. I have no energy, I am in so much pain and sleep is just a long nightmare of him cheating or telling me he doesnt love me anymore... This is the hardest thing i have ever gone through and i have been through a lot... I will practice this and become a more secure person for me, no matter what happens between us in the future.
My big time slap in the face was when the guy I was madly in love with lied to me. I tried so hard to get him to see where I’m coming from but he just wouldn’t listen. After a heart to heart conversation, I thought he and I were good. Pretty much the next day he had blocked me and shut down all forms of communication with me. I’ve been recently found out he disabled his social media. Talk about a rude wake up call. All this time I had been beating myself up for things turning out the way they did. Now I’m realizing it’s all mindset and God set me free from a broken person.
Since childhood, I was never taught to think for myself what I want; what I have now is not what I want. Your mind can be powerful, and you can train your mind to unlearn and rebuild the lifestyle and the future you want.
Margarita! I'm still watching the video but I just wanted to let you know that I've learned so much from you and I'm grateful I came across your videos. I love your vibe and aspire to be more like you. Keep inspiring people and keep doing what you're doing xx
Wow, thank you!
Could you do a separate video on feminine energy and how to embody it? Love your take on most things. You are so authentic ❤
Yes I can absolutely. I also have a course on it on my website
I’m there now and it’s paradigm changing. I’m grieving the illusions I had about external factors that would define me. I can’t see any other way than detachment and it’s empowering. I’m just not used to it at that level of being.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🌀
This was the most impactful information I have heard. I’m still holding on to someone after losing her 4 years ago. I’m terrified to let go. I hope to find your podcast
I literally came here to be like “ugh being detached is such a tired dead horse 🙄” and… after watching the video I realize that what you’re saying is exactly what I do anyways. Thanks for just explaining what you’re talking about clearly. So many people need this wake up call.
Eventually the negative energy becomes rewarding. The more invested in the relationship the more expectations you have. Usually the resentments and resistance starts there. Only because the relationship is already stale and inventory becomes a priority.
This video is the best i’ve found so far with detachment. I swear the more i like a person the more anxious attachment i get smh
I am 60 and just found you 3 weeks ago. I wished I knew . My life would be so different .❤️
I think you talk about detachment far better and in such a practical way than anything I read. The example of chocolate cake and cheese cake.... I am WIP anxious attachment style person and i realized for all my past relationships I made the guy the cake they liked, completely thinking I was being nice and cute and in the end I would lose myself in the relationship so deeply I didn't even know what I liked or what was good and right for me (no boundaries)... This is profound. Thank you
I am so excited you are starting a podcast! Your messages are life changing ✨