I’ve got a favour to ask! If you enjoy this conversation, please double check that you’ve liked the video and subscribed to the channel! That's a small way you can help us carry on doing this, really appreciate you! ❤🙏🏾
My mom, my only family, is in the late-final stage of dementia. Every day, I watch her struggle with dysphagia, barely able to eat or drink. Meal replacements are her only sustenance now. She’s dying before my eyes, and I can’t let her go without giving her the love and comfort she gave me all my life. Two years ago, I left work to care for her full-time. As her only child, I made her a promise: I wouldn’t leave her in a care home with strangers. Dementia has already stolen so much from her, but it won’t steal her dignity or the comfort of seeing her child by her side. I’ve exhausted all my savings and resources, and I’m now at a point where I have no options left but to ask for help. Your donation, no matter how small, will mean everything. It will allow me to continue giving her the care she needs, pay for the overwhelming medical expenses, and eventually cover her funeral expenses when the time comes. Imagine the comfort you could give to a mother who devoted her life to raising her child with love and kindness. Imagine the relief of her child-me-knowing I could keep my promise to her. Even $5 can make a difference. Together, we can give her the dignity she deserves in her final days. If we exceed our goal, every extra dollar will go directly to dementia research, helping others who face the devastating impact of this cruel disease. Time is running out, and I am asking for your compassion and empathy. Please, help me honor my mom in the way she deserves. Your generosity will not only ease her pain but also give me the strength to carry on knowing she had the care and love she needed in her last moments. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this and for any support you can provide now. DONATE NOW: gofund.me/a575a81a
EMDR changed me. For years, when I would talk about an SA in my past, I would cry each and every time. After several weeks of EMDR, I feel absolutely nothing and can talk about it openly without any emotional rise or response. I feel completely in control and it’s incredible.
wait, you had to relive it for several weeks?? 🙃🙃🙃 but the results sound like a miracle to me with how painful it has been... i had no idea such treatment existed for this, i thought it'd be just talking it out or so lol so i felt hopeless but to just try and distract from the flashbacks each time. thank you for sharing xx
It makes me happy to know you've managed to find peace after something so traumatic. Wishing you all the happiness in the world, from one stranger to another.
I was in therapy on and off for over 25 years with different professionals trying to overcome emotional childhood rejection. It affected many aspects of my life despite being totally functional at a professional and personal level. Four years ago I started EMDR after the end of my 30 year marriage. My capacity to overcome the divorce and heal my childhood traumas was surprisingly fast and effective. I have continued with a maintenance session once a month but basically I feel healed from my childhood experiences. I recommend it 100%
I agree. I've also experienced both a TBI due to a large AVM requiring multiple brain surgeries, extensive CSA, extensive physical abuse/violence/war, and a lifelong battle with depression, anxiety, and now almost paranoia. My brother has schizophrenia, my sister is narcissistic, and I probably have some narcissistic traits as well as BPD, though I am only actually diagnosed with CPTSD. A lifetime of fighting to live has gotten me here, and at this point I am not sure that it was worth it at all.
Wow, what a fighter you are! Dr Daniel Amen has tremendous success with what you experience. He gets listed as a quack but his brain health protocol on the ADD and TBI in our family helped...w/o doing the SPECT scan he offers. I hope it can help you too to a degree 🙏🏼
@Sara-x6t3s I'm not sure whether this comes to u or to the chat. I would strongly suggest contact Dana Ullman a homeopath see if u can do phone consults with him and stick with it until u find the right remedies. I've had a similar situation to u and have had fantastic help using harmless but very effective remedies in 200c or 1M potency things like Op Pap, Acidn phos, Aurum Met, Ignatia for Shock, There are many remedies but it takes a while until u get all the right ones. Some of them work very quickly within a few days fantastic improvements all without toxicity effects.
@@Sara-x6t3sit is so worth it. You have fought so hard. I understand the struggle. You do not know what the future holds for you. The past does not need to be your future, circumstances change, we can learn new ways of viewing the world, we can heal and peace is possible. Don’t give up, I know it’s extremely exhausting living with a brain injury and mental health issues ( I have both as well) the struggle to stay alive is hard work and the depths of a dark episode is hell. But it is possible to lead a life where you can find peace and freedom. Finding the right tools, forgiveness, changing mindset, learning to love yourself is huge, keep on searching for ways and you may surprise yourself. ❤
My mother was a WWII survivor. She lived under German occupation for 5 years. She was starved, and at one point she was captured by the Germans and tortured. She was completely broken. She was violent, depressed and we grew up in chaos. I spent my adult life working as an emergency room crisis counselor, I shifted taking care of her to taking care of others. I am now retired and finally focusing on unraveling my early years.
i feel a deep sadness for yr life, yr mother's life and the consequences of that war ( inhuman cruelty) my mother was affected by it also. Don't let those pigs steal one more day of yr life . ( They did steal the life force of yr mum , my mum and many others . Reclaim yr life _ live it , put joy in it and heal. You deserve it and are worthy to have it..God bless you
He seems like the most kind and understanding human with absolutely no ego whatsoever considering his status in the psychiatric community. I've never read his book but I'm definitely going to now after watching this interview. Man this channel just keeps getting better and better all the time. Definitely one of the best subs I've ever subbed!!
This man is absolutely brilliant. He has changed so many lives, including mine. He deserves the highest honours, awards, etc. What a gift he is to us. I cannot, CANNOT thank him enough. 🙏
@@Augfordpdoggiemust find a way to love yourself forgive for yourself and play with yourself. Protect yourself as if you are protecting and helping your younger self. Give yourself what your younger self would of loved
Oh my gawd Bessel van der Kolk is absolutely awesome- 80% of childhood trauma happens at home with parents… this man is amazing… I’ve used his work to write so many papers throughout 3 psych degrees… just brilliant - the best of the best…
Kudos to your producer for using boom mics. Now I get to see you and your guests as though they are sitting next to me. No hiding behind the mics. No perception of the 4th wall. Tis a huge upgrade in the experience.
EMDR saved my life. It was only treatment that resolved my crippling PTSD. Everything else I tried over 15 years was a waste of time and often made it worse, including CBT and various talk therapies. Although I did have some success with psychedelics too, EMDR was the most effective treatment of all. God bless Bessel van der Kolk for introducing it to so many people through his books and presentations.
Somatic and IFS has been very beneficial for me, but EMDR is incredible too. Glad you found a way to heal! Healing trauma can be incredibly challenging work. I've got CPTSD and a ton of health issues due to developmental and medical trauma, sexual abuse as a child, multiple TBIs, auto immunity since childhood, 14 years of severe health issues causing worsening of everything etc. I would never wish it on anyone, but the work and effort to heal is worth it.
@@Kaa864 Not sure what he meant exactly, but there are various somatic exercises from different theories and scientists. For example vagus nerve- exercises, TRE- exercises and more. Or maybe he refers to Somatic Experiencing (SE) by Peter Levine. He as well has different exercises but they are embedded in his own approach. Best of luck.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve.pors_, I can relate to your experiences with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction. Using mushrooms has significantly contributed to my journey towards staying clean today.
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I've done EMDR. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. It changes the emotions around your trauma. My therapist said it's like being an actor on the stage to becoming a person in the audience, in regard to your emotions around your trauma. The distance it gives is amazing.
@@gloriatr604ugh. Zero value comment. He doesn't live from selling his book. He is a profesor at Medical school, he has a private practice and he is invited to lecture all over the world. . Do you think selling a book in plus will bring some good money? Before talking I sugest to think a little bit. Have a nice and calm day..
Martial arts saved my life. It built up my confidence and strengthened my body, but it also helped my mental health. After years of training, others I have seen the same effect on them many times over.
Kickboxing. I used to compete and then later teach and coach. I can trace the turning point of my life thanks to training and the people I met because of it.
@@khurramalavi498 totally believe it. Community and shared experience is so vital. I grew up playing sports and loved it, but ever since being an adult and not having sports in my life, life has been a struggle. I'm trying to do pick up sports and group fitness classes to scratch that itch, but I've thought about martial arts as well
I went through a brutal assault close to unaliving. And couldn’t seem to shift the intense fear that followed. I was living in a trauma loop. I had some emdr. It was honestly life changing. The first session my heart rate got to 158 just reliving the experience. By the 3rd session I felt a strange calm I had never felt in my life before. My resting heart rate dropped from 98 to 88 consistently and ongoing. (Saved on my Fitbit) This past 6 months it’s dropped a further 10 beats. After that taste of regulation the benefits of further sessions came very quickly dealing with other childhood stuff. Even now when I get upset about something, i can stay close to calm. I had a lot of talk therapy over the year’s. nothing worked until emdr. This incredible work gave me my life back. Thankyou Thankyou 😊
I am diagnosed as having PTSD from childhood trauma. I did EMDR to process many of the horrible experiences and it was a tremendous help. It’s wild how much it helped me.
"THANK YOU" isn't enough........................as a trauma and PTSD sufferer I was glued to this interview and wept through some of it. Thank you, Mr. Barlett. And touche' for asking THOSE questions - BRAVO ~ As well, God bless Professor Bessel van der Kolk ~
EMDR saved my life. I had to do over a dozen EMDR sessions and it was terrifying, but I’m fully recovered and healed from my trauma and live a happy life ❤
I have to say to one and all, especially The Diary Of A CEO, this episode with Dr. Van der Kolk is perfect timing...on the heals of the Holidays. In the late 90's I was so blessed to be "a study participant" for the early research into EMDR in Boston! I had no idea how life changing participating in this study would be for me. I can not even express how EMDR had/has helped my poor as I call it, my " broken brain". Lots of early childhood physical ((non sexual) abuse to me by my Mother. For me, the evening of my 1st EMDR session with the "team" I was so relieved, so at peace with my self and my world. I can still remember thinking "what is this EMDR stuff?" How calm I felt, how serene my brain was feeling. The study was over a year long...culminating in EMDR. However it was more, way more. The amazing team also incorporated many new tools for me to use moving forward. I've babbled on, thanks to those still with me. Dr. Van der kolk and team as well as EMDR was a life time gift, a life saving gift.😘
So glad this treatment helped you and thank you for being part of the study! Do you mind if I ask what the other tools were that helped you as you moved forward?
@@BrookeM223 Good morning. Thinking...way back to the study which took just over a full year. Much of the early "interaction" with the team was actually seeing if I did fit the criteria for "PTSD". I knew my brain was not right, however I had no idea what was wrong. Once (took several sessions) I learned indeed I did fit the diagnosis of PTSD associated with early childhood " trauma", as the team unearthed what was my trauma much of the "tools" consisted of listening to my body overriding what my brain hijacked. As it says the body keeps the score. Breathing, breath work, how to calm my body, not letting my brain take over. Educating me, helping me understand how my brain/ body was in a constant state of "alert" to danger perceived danger. Tools: discovering what my "triggers" were was helpful. Tuning into my body vs tuning out...shutting down...freezing. I can't say anything specific as a magic tool/ wand to erase my perceived fears. Loud noises...balloons scared the wits out of me as the "pop" makes a loud noise. Validation was key for me. Yes indeed I was a small child who had no power over the adult, however I was now an adult, no longer that powerless child and I had agency over my body to feel my feelings and not "freeze" them out or internalize my feelings believing I was deserving of the abuse, I had done something to deserve it. Dr. Van der Kolk shared how his 3 year old used his "mother's" bathroom in his house and how he should punish her for that. He said how he did not do that and set a "boundary" with his mother. Again boundary setting was a tool...I had no idea I was "allowed" to do that. Sorry...on & on I babble...it is hard to express exact tools. Safety...feeling safe to discuss my childhood abuse and not being "punished" for telling my story. Compassion, compassion for that child who was hurt physically and emotionally. I had no idea I could have compassion for me, I believed it was for others. Dr. Van der Kolk and team was just the tip of the iceberg. This study was in the late 90's ( 97? 98?)...so much more has been studied and published since then, thankfully. I heard it said when we know better we do better, also as Dr. Van der Kolk said " hurt people hurt people". This is a very long answer, Tools: nothing specific, yet everything...listen to your body it does keep the score
I loved Bessel’s book, which I read in 2014. I immediately became an EMDR practitioner. It truly is an incredible modality for trauma treatment. HOWEVER, it is NOT some sort of miracle treatment. It isn’t magical. It still requires a LOT of other work - either on one’s own or with the clinician. Of course, like all effective treatments, it requires the trust and authentic relationship of patient and clinician.
@@itsmarieg5816 It typically requires ongoing therapy in addition to EMDR. Also, some folks may need medication and other tools depending on the overall behavioral diagnosis/prognosis.
You said on "ones own". What do you mean by that? What kind of work? Any books/ videos that you recommend to work on ourselves to heal and repair on our own.
I went through childhood traumas and I grew up in an orphanage. Having kids that went through similar experiences and being abandoned, we had the support of one another. Now they put children in foster homes and many of them don’t have that kind of support, and many orphanages have closed. People that haven’t gone through trauma think kids need a family environment (and perhaps some do), but I am grateful for the orphanage.
Yes , I understand. an so many kids go from 1 foster home to another because their not ' fitting in ' to ' what that family wants/expects. A well known fact now. ' support groups work _ eg A.A ect. Hi od bless you
Absolutely, the tribal support system is how humans evolved to throughout, it really brings you into yourself in a peer context in a way a nuclear family cannot. thank you for sharing this.
Can we use anyone who has emdr training? It hasn't worked on me as the therapist did not believe I have cptsd. I am wondering if it's the therapist is the important person to pick here? Thanks.
@@Elegance191It's definitely also a matter of having a click with a Therapist. Like you have to trust them in ieder to get close to you and your trauma. I know from a friend of mine, who hadden t has a click with his therapist....it didn't have as much of an impact as it has with me. Also heared ppl.wirh autism have less succes with emdr therapy
Lucky you!! One tip... feel into the emotions that arise. Just allow yourself to float and flow in the experience. EMDR will not harm you, only helps.✨
EMDR changed my life! It’s pretty mind-boggling, but I’m ever so grateful! I had a great therapist who was EMDR certified. The way I feel and process my childhood trauma has completely changed. I haven’t forgotten it, of course, but it no longer traumatizes me as it did for decades - directly and indirectly. Life changing!
I've had EMDR it's incredible, it's changed my life. Opened the door to savage child abuse that I've now managed to process. Such a fast process compared to other methods, but savage at the same time. Definitely recommend.
I suffer with a chronic pain disorder, and chronic migraines. I was recommended his book “The body keeps the score” a few months ago. I am over halfway through it because as much as my injury is real, and my muscle has atrophied and I have scar tissue, I struggle with strength and range of motion. It was brought to my attention, the psychological component of chronic pain and trauma. I have been exploring it. I have an appointment in February with a psychotherapist. I am really hoping I meet the requirements to be accepted into her group Therapy sessions, so I can work on healing some childhood trauma, sexual trauma and trauma surrounding my work injury/attack that caused me chronic pain/ migraines. Wonderful interview! Well done 👏🏻
I heard about Bessel van der Kolk a couple of years ago, and I have tried to watch interviews with him in other formats. I couldn't stand to listen to the interview; however, Steve asks his questions in such a way the whole interview is a pleasure to watch, and I have learned so much! Thank you so much Steve.
My journey to address my life of trauma started with EMDR. While it wasn't the 'fix' for my situation, it opened a gateway that I couldn't even see until myn3rd EMDR session. I moved into CBT, DBT, ACT, all paired with sensorimotor (physical) therapies. I know it sounds like a lot, however, trauma can be very complex, as was mine (past tense). I am grateful that I no longer identify as a trauma 'survivor' but, simply, Thriving like everyone else.
So impressive, Steven, to have Bessel van der Kolk as your guest. Thank you. His book The Body Keeps the Score was so helpful to me. Just seeing that he knew things I knew from my own experience made me listen to all he said. He has remarkable insights, about being unseen, being hit, and that people are often traumatized by traumatized parents.
I did EMDR and I thought it was bullshit. I was so skeptical. However, it was the only thing that helped me get out of the funk I was in after my mother died. I was trying to move on for years but I was stuck. It helped. Made it feel like I was actually leaving it in the past while still holding on to her memory.
I find two seperate points on a wall in front of me and remember them. I then think about the traumatic event, remember sounds, smells, people around, feelings, sensations in the body, and let it all surface. I then quickly move my eyes between the two points on the wall about 30 times and then take some deep breaths. I try again the next day to see if there are any residing feelings left
There’s also an EMDR website, which can help you administrate it yourself, there’s a helpful guidance alongside, too, I think it costs £60. Remember to not stop the process of desensitisation in the most challenging moment, which is, when you feel the most pressure on your chest, that is very important process of healing through EMDR, as if you stop then, (because you may find it deeply unsettling) you’re bringing all the negativity to the surface but not working on letting it go, it can traumatise you even more, hence ideally it should be done with a therapist, as they can guide you to healing via adequate and important questions.
Love his explanation about trauma . I had “small T” trauma but it affected me all my life and has a huge impact on how I see the world how I show up in relationships. It absolutely does matter . I wish it didn’t but it does
This gave me so much more insight into my personal past childhood trauma and allowed me to see the impact that led me on this path. I hope that continued healing will come from understanding myself and the scientific research behind trauma better! Thank you
Bessel helped me understand my self and what happened to me. He gave me concepts and language and the capacity to have compassion for myself, and others. In those ways he was an important part of saving my life and helping me decide how to care for and communicate with my kids.
I’m only about 10 minutes in, got to the party almost an hour late. But this is an exciting topic for me. I have PTSD, which I was working on, unmedicated but formally diagnosed. When I learned it was detectable on a brain scan, and it can heal, I knew I didn’t want to medicate because I don’t take cold medicine when I have poison sickness. Therapy helped a lot. Until I was put in a predicament a year ago that caused a whole new PTSD story. But knowing what I know now, it’s not taking the 10 years it took for the first time. I’m making progress. I can’t sleep through the night, but I can manage to nap enough throughout the day to not be exhausted. I don’t eat as much as I should, but I eat at least once a day. I don’t wash my hair on time every week, but I shower and brush my teeth twice every day. It’s not much to most people but those things are things I struggled with when I let my depression and trauma control me. I hope this episode can help me in some ways, and I hope my comment can help others as well. No matter your cause, be it war or domestic abuse - you’re not alone. We’re in this together. 💕
@HookahHoku Please please please remember that this place you are in right now is temporary. It's not 'you' permanently. No matter how you feel now it WILL pass, hold onto that so tightly. Well done for doing the work. Keep going. Stay steady. Heart goes out to you. Sending healing prayers and love your way.
Wow Steve you psychoanalyzed the psychotherapist. Great interview and a reminder we all have trauma in our lives, little t big t whatever. You just don’t know what people have gone through. Be kind. And that kindness starts with yourself. Be kind to you and you will then be able to be kind to others.❤
I read his book four years ago. When reading, I felt heard, seen and understood. So I’m not imagining things? I’m not crazy? The shame and pain I feel are real? Then I finally got access to psychotherapy and experienced EMDR first hand. It works. I can say ‘that happened, it’s in the past, I can live with the memory’. I can talk about certain traumatic event and I’m not triggered, I’m ok, no crying, no upset. Then a couple of weeks ago I had psychedelic trip, the one he speaks about at 1:33 onward. Yes, it’s exactly how he describes it. I’m almost 47, and was sui**dal since I was 10. I never imagined I could live my live. So if you’re feeling stuck and suffering, hear me out - there is a way to relief, to your true self. I never imagined I would one day write these words. Get his book The Body Keeps The Score. It’s a good start. Sending you love, and best wishes to heal. ❤
I think this has to be my favourite interview you have done. Dr. van der Kolk is so calm. He has such an even relaxing tone. This is fascinating...and as a person who still lives with their childhood trauma this is helpful. It's is probably the most in depth and comprehensive discussion I've seen about trauma..
Took a lifetime to see the imprint from my Father. When he was passing I could see his projection which was a damaging imprint on me.Thank you for the reminder . The Awareness will be helpful.
I have been working with EMDR for years now in treating the traumatic memories of First Responders. It works deeply, quickly, and is the most positively transformative therapy I have learned to do in the 40 years I have been treating people for trauma.
@ If you are processing trauma, I don’t recommend you do it alone. As you work on a memory, you can get stuck in a feeling state and not know how to move through it. That is the advantage of having an experienced psychotherapist-that person knows different ways of helping you completely process the memory if you do get stuck in anger or whatever. I have years of experiencing helping others with EMDR but I can still get stuck in my own memories. There are EMDR apps you can use to help calm yourself when feeling distressed. One very popular app is Ed Can Help. It is based on the idea of EMDR (bilateral brain stimulation using sound). Ed is a psychologist in England who created the app for people to use on their own when they are in an uncomfortable feeling state. You are not fully processing a memory with the app, but it can give relief from intense emotional states.
@@junemcg3334 Thank you very much. I feel honoured to be able to help First Responders and others get freedom from the worst memories that push their way into that person’s day and night. It is very helpful in preventing suicide because they develop hope for the future again.
He made a concerted EFFORT to REGIFT himself the childhood he would have wanted from his own mum and dad. This is a way we can heal ourselves. Give your future children the childhood ALL kids deserve, full of love & preparation for THEIR future as parents
Oh finally Dr. van der Kolk on one of the big podcasts! It was about time! I am so looking forward to this one. His work and open mindedness has helped and will help so many people.
I spent 40-years being limited by a childhood SA. I down played the impact it had on me. After EMDR it was like somebody plugged an amplifier into my ability to feel real emotion and there was just so much more colour in the world. Being able to put that experience in the past has freed me to deal with challenges in the moment instead of being completely hijacked by negative, shutting down emotions.
As an occupational therapist I love Bessel’s emphasis on connections, music, theatre, sporting and other groups, as well as body-based and somatic therapies - OTs love these activities for holistic health and healing! Interestingly I’m a family constellation facilitator also and psychodrama touches on this unique process for healing generational trauma a little, not quite. Thank you for a great interview Steven!
You become a lonely traveler. Beautifuly said, for a very painful choice to make. It took me decades to understand that to keep sane and finally be happy to be me, I had to cut contact with my entire family, even if I already had moved to an other country for decades. Some years later, I accept that I always was and always will be a lonely traveler all my life. Thank you for the interview.
39:25 Update, my name is Hokulani. I’m Hawaiian. Hula is amazing, and I often dance when I’m feeling down - it’s one of my therapy learned techniques to bring myself out of my bad days, long enough to be productive at least. Fun fact: Hula is like sign language, each movement means something - and thus stories are told not just through the chants, but through the dance. Additional fun fact: It is unclear how old it was, but a pre-contact Hawaiian Sign Language was invented likely a thousand years ago. It’s still in use to this day, with modifications from ASL to account for words we never had before, and also letters since we never had an indigenous written language.
I can hardly put into words how incredibly amazing the work you’re doing here is, bringing such valuable people onto your podcast to share this priceless information. And yes, it truly helps the world and supports people in their healing journey. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. Keep it up.
Steven, I am one of the 50% that has been watching your podcast and never subscribed but today,today I could not hold back to click that button, bringing on Dessel was the gamechanger for me , I cannot describe what I am feeling,I am just in awe of how you do and understand your craft, you are born into this.I am a 59yr old female from South Africa and boy what I learn from your podcasts is phenomenal. I thank you .
I have the book BODY KEEPS SCORE, and it profoundly made me understand my trauma, THANK YOU SO MUCH for having him on your podcast, I look forward to your uploads every week!!!!
This interview Is just Brilliant, I have Heard Bessel many times, basically always answering same questions over anda over with his endless kindness, which is for sure needed, but you have actually given him the space to talk from a different place you both so honest and humble. Inspiring and touching and healing. ❤
When I saw his face…I got instant goosebumps with excitement to watch this video!! Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk has been a huge huge help in learning to understand myself and realize that just because someone else says what I went through wasn’t traumatic in their eyes, doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic for me! I would give anything to be able to have 1 session with him! Great job on this interview! 👏🏻
The end bit got me. Nobody’s coming to rescue you. Shaped me into an independent person by default & still hits me hard when surrounded by self-centred people. I now realise why i find it triggering & distance myself from those people. So grateful to have found some people in this world who have my back even though i can never bring myself to ask for help, it's reassuring to know they're there if i ever did. Peace to my fellow childhood trauma warriors ❤
Thank you for the insightful interview! I was surprised that Havening wasn't discussed. I'm eager to learn more about it, especially since it bears some similarities to EMDR. I've been practicing Havening almost daily for some time, and I find it incredibly effective. I truly believe it can benefit many people due to its simplicity. It's remarkable how quickly one can shift from feelings of stress, anxiety, or anger to states of calm, joy, compassion, and even love. I make it a point to practice Havening every day.
Thank you so much for inviting Bessel van der Kolk. I believe body based therapy is the key for solving trauma. Thank you for spreading these information and hope for less suffering to the world!
So Grateful for the Interviews you and your Team does, Steven... Thank you... ❤ We are Better about Honoring what our Nervous System is Communicating about what is in the environment. The MORE we Clear Out & Clean Up what has happened to us that was not healthy, functional, and benevolent, the more we are VERY aware of "who" is sporting "what" energy. Soon people will know exactly "why" certain people are such a public and private safety threat, in and outside the Home. Take back ALL of your Power, Heal & Recovery every part of your Biofield, and Build Life with ONLY 100% Benevolent People, Things, Opportunities, and Ideas. ❤❤❤❤❤
This episode feels like a gift. Gold 🏆First time I heard more from the personal life of Bessel. It also has so much valuable trauma related and healing content. Thank you for sharing this. 💝
I have a Masterclass subscription and this far exceeds the content that I get from it. Thank you for offering invaluable, life changing content for free. And thank you for being a very neutral vehicle that presents the information with little to no motive other than to give the guest a true voice. You are truly a gift.
Dr Gabor Maté talks about “genes” for hypersensitivity in the people who develop ADHD. It is the activation or shutting down of gene expression. There is no specific gene for ADHD or any major mental illness presentation. His book “:Scattered Minds” is a master class in defining and understanding ADHD. As a child/adolescent psych RN for over 30 years I found Dr Maté’s insight and research to be a major breakthrough and tremendously beneficial approach to overcoming the detrimental effects of ADHD.
I’m now finishing Professor van der Kolk’s book ‘The body keeps the score’. It’s a must read for anyone interested in trauma and what it’s doing to our bodies. So many insights. I would also recommend it for all future parents. I wish I read it before I became one myself!
Great to finally have a guest talk with complete honesty, evidence based approach and no ego or trying to sell their own product. The success of The body keeps the score speaks for itself!
I am so excited to see this is gonna be epic. I've dealt with trauma PTSD my entire life. I've tried yoga, muay thai, psychedelics, reiki, and Neuro-linguistic reprogramming and studied NLP through UK. Meridian tapping, qigong meditation, the list goes on. This is what I needed at just the right time. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
🤔 Perhaps use it to heal the 'protective' part of you that prevents your issue being resolved ... aka: clearing the hidden benefits of maintaining and keeping the problem (secondary gains/ conflicted inner parts etc). Wish you well with celebrating your fresh new self :)
Thanks for upload. Good to be a valued subscriber and appreciated. Your content is excellent and look forward to watching this whilst I start my Monday morning work grind. Hope all is well with you.
Thank You for this podcast. The interview affected me so deeply that I needed to take breaks to process it. I shed some tears along the way. What an incredible, truly competent expert with a holistic approach! I deeply regret not having met someone like this earlier in my life. I believe Europe, especially Eastern and Central, is decades behind in diagnosing and treating CPTSD. My whole life till my mid 20's was filled with constant trauma, leaving me unable to cope with life and resulting in many serious, chronic somatic diseases, which I truly believe are caused by this traumatic past. Many specialists have heard of CPTSD but don't know how to approach it. I was labeled with "chronic depression and anxiety" and conventional treatments and therapies have failed to help me. Now, at least I know what other things I should look for. Thanks again.
I love what you and your team create. Thank you very much. Please invite Michael Singer. People need to hear his wisdom and You will learn too. Thank you.
Excellent episode ! I would encourage you to interview the founder of IFS (Internal Family Systems). In the book The Body Keeps the Score, IFS is being mentioned.
I think this is the most impactful episode that you've been in Stephen. Bessel + Gabor for a podcast would be amazing. I would love to hear them critique and pick each others brains.
I ask all my professional connections what book would they say was instrumental in their personal and professional success. My wife’s answer was “The Body Keeps the Score”. Today is our 8 Anniversary and we’re happily married; serendipity and DOAC gifted us this fantastic interview. My wife is a Social Worker for an institution who cares for children with severe autism in conjunction with other cognitive ailments. She’s made me such a better person. This talk I’ll listen to 100 times! Thanks DOAC! I can’t wait to be your guest some day!
I love listening to him, he sounds so jovial and soothing, I wish there were more psychologists in the world they’re so much better than your average therapists
I'm only 25 minutes in and I'm just noticing Steven being probably the most unarmed and vulnerable in this conversation, totally immersed and your questions are not coming from the logical part of your mind. Your questions are from your heart. This conversation is tremendous for this world and our generations going forth. Thank you for this 💓
"Touch, the most basic tool we have at our disposal to soothe other people, may not be used in most therapeutic practices." - Bessel van de Kolk My fav Scientist and Therapist at my fav podcast show 🙏 thank you!
I am so excited that you invited Bessel Van Der Kolk i have been asking for him to be interviewed. He truly is an incredible person with all his knowledge on trauma. And he seems like a very kind gentleman. I have read his book and its brilliant, and i have learned a lot. He is definitely the best at this subjest. I find it most interesting to hear about EDMR and LSD, cant remember the name of the drug he was talking about. Whats very impressive to me is that he doesn't give medication to his patients, like most other doctors. Thank you Bessel Van Der Kolk you are the best interview I've seen and I've been waiting for you.
Dr. Bessel van der kolk pioneered the 1st studies on trauma and it's the reason we all know about trauma and PTSD the way we do now. He is considered to be one of the foremost experts in the world on trauma and I've of the 1st to recommend somatic therapy over talk therapy for the treatment of trauma. He had down that talk therapy like CBT can even be harmful for PTSD and is not a better treatment than somatic psychological methods. This was the guy that showed that the VA wasn't doing shit for our veterans with exposure therapies.
I’ve got a favour to ask! If you enjoy this conversation, please double check that you’ve liked the video and subscribed to the channel! That's a small way you can help us carry on doing this, really appreciate you! ❤🙏🏾
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Please interview Vusi Thembekwayo next🙏
Please put our video in french!!!
We appreciate you, and the dedication of your team. 🙏 💯
This is great, thank you soooooo much to all :) Pleeease can you interview Dr. Peter Levine
EMDR changed me. For years, when I would talk about an SA in my past, I would cry each and every time. After several weeks of EMDR, I feel absolutely nothing and can talk about it openly without any emotional rise or response. I feel completely in control and it’s incredible.
wait, you had to relive it for several weeks?? 🙃🙃🙃 but the results sound like a miracle to me with how painful it has been... i had no idea such treatment existed for this, i thought it'd be just talking it out or so lol so i felt hopeless but to just try and distract from the flashbacks each time. thank you for sharing xx
Good job God bless!❤
Thank you for sharing❤
I’ve started EMDR therapy and can already perceive less trauma responses to triggers. It’s such a liberation🎉
It makes me happy to know you've managed to find peace after something so traumatic. Wishing you all the happiness in the world, from one stranger to another.
I was in therapy on and off for over 25 years with different professionals trying to overcome emotional childhood rejection. It affected many aspects of my life despite being totally functional at a professional and personal level. Four years ago I started EMDR after the end of my 30 year marriage. My capacity to overcome the divorce and heal my childhood traumas was surprisingly fast and effective. I have continued with a maintenance session once a month but basically I feel healed from my childhood experiences. I recommend it 100%
wow! This is the holy grail interview on trauma. Great job DOAC.
I suffered traumatic brain injury from a freak accident. The body keeps the score is a real thing, and an incredible book too.
I agree. I've also experienced both a TBI due to a large AVM requiring multiple brain surgeries, extensive CSA, extensive physical abuse/violence/war, and a lifelong battle with depression, anxiety, and now almost paranoia. My brother has schizophrenia, my sister is narcissistic, and I probably have some narcissistic traits as well as BPD, though I am only actually diagnosed with CPTSD. A lifetime of fighting to live has gotten me here, and at this point I am not sure that it was worth it at all.
❤
Wow, what a fighter you are! Dr Daniel Amen has tremendous success with what you experience. He gets listed as a quack but his brain health protocol on the ADD and TBI in our family helped...w/o doing the SPECT scan he offers. I hope it can help you too to a degree 🙏🏼
@Sara-x6t3s
I'm not sure whether this comes to u or to the chat. I would strongly suggest contact Dana Ullman a homeopath see if u can do phone consults with him and stick with it until u find the right remedies. I've had a similar situation to u and have had fantastic help using harmless but very effective remedies in 200c or 1M potency things like Op Pap, Acidn phos, Aurum Met, Ignatia for Shock, There are many remedies but it takes a while until u get all the right ones. Some of them work very quickly within a few days fantastic improvements all without toxicity effects.
@@Sara-x6t3sit is so worth it. You have fought so hard. I understand the struggle. You do not know what the future holds for you. The past does not need to be your future, circumstances change, we can learn new ways of viewing the world, we can heal and peace is possible. Don’t give up, I know it’s extremely exhausting living with a brain injury and mental health issues ( I have both as well) the struggle to stay alive is hard work and the depths of a dark episode is hell. But it is possible to lead a life where you can find peace and freedom. Finding the right tools, forgiveness, changing mindset, learning to love yourself is huge, keep on searching for ways and you may surprise yourself. ❤
My mother was a WWII survivor. She lived under German occupation for 5 years. She was starved, and at one point she was captured by the Germans and tortured. She was completely broken. She was violent, depressed and we grew up in chaos. I spent my adult life working as an emergency room crisis counselor, I shifted taking care of her to taking care of others. I am now retired and finally focusing on unraveling my early years.
i feel a deep sadness for yr life, yr mother's life and the consequences of that war ( inhuman cruelty) my mother was affected by it also. Don't let those pigs steal one more day of yr life . ( They did steal the life force of yr mum , my mum and many others . Reclaim yr life _ live it , put joy in it and heal. You deserve it and are worthy to have it..God bless you
He seems like the most kind and understanding human with absolutely no ego whatsoever considering his status in the psychiatric community. I've never read his book but I'm definitely going to now after watching this interview. Man this channel just keeps getting better and better all the time. Definitely one of the best subs I've ever subbed!!
@madsquishy3410 the book is FANTASTIC!!
The guy is a crazy anti trumper
@thepiccards2105 yeah I caught that after I left that comment lol
@ yeah… he clearly doesn’t have his stuff together in his home… messed up kids… divorced… asks his mom random sex questions… guy is weird
I found his Donald Trump criticisms immature, I got the impression Trump triggers something in him
This man is absolutely brilliant. He has changed so many lives, including mine. He deserves the highest honours, awards, etc. What a gift he is to us. I cannot, CANNOT thank him enough. 🙏
how do you have a positive attitude after all the trauma? that is what i struggle with
@@Augfordpdoggierelease and let go ❤
You are absolutely right
@@Augfordpdoggieby letting it go and being authentic to you.
@@Augfordpdoggiemust find a way to love yourself forgive for yourself and play with yourself. Protect yourself as if you are protecting and helping your younger self. Give yourself what your younger self would of loved
Oh my gawd Bessel van der Kolk is absolutely awesome- 80% of childhood trauma happens at home with parents… this man is amazing… I’ve used his work to write so many papers throughout 3 psych degrees… just brilliant - the best of the best…
Kudos to your producer for using boom mics. Now I get to see you and your guests as though they are sitting next to me. No hiding behind the mics. No perception of the 4th wall. Tis a huge upgrade in the experience.
This man is so genuine, vulnerable and honest. What a wonderful teacher. Thank you for this interview.
EMDR saved my life. It was only treatment that resolved my crippling PTSD. Everything else I tried over 15 years was a waste of time and often made it worse, including CBT and various talk therapies. Although I did have some success with psychedelics too, EMDR was the most effective treatment of all. God bless Bessel van der Kolk for introducing it to so many people through his books and presentations.
Somatic and IFS has been very beneficial for me, but EMDR is incredible too. Glad you found a way to heal! Healing trauma can be incredibly challenging work.
I've got CPTSD and a ton of health issues due to developmental and medical trauma, sexual abuse as a child, multiple TBIs, auto immunity since childhood, 14 years of severe health issues causing worsening of everything etc. I would never wish it on anyone, but the work and effort to heal is worth it.
Thank you for sharing. I also had much success with EMDR. Amazing how it works. What a blessing❤️
@@JamieR When you say somatic is it somatic exercises you are doing ?
@@Kaa864 Not sure what he meant exactly, but there are various somatic exercises from different theories and scientists. For example vagus nerve- exercises, TRE- exercises and more. Or maybe he refers to Somatic Experiencing (SE) by Peter Levine. He as well has different exercises but they are embedded in his own approach. Best of luck.
CBT is utterly confusing if you’re neurodivergent.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve.pors_, I can relate to your experiences with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction. Using mushrooms has significantly contributed to my journey towards staying clean today.
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd.
Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Is he on instagram?
Steve.porss_ is the man
This is the best Christmas present! 4 years ago, I read Bessel’s book, ‘The Body Keeps The Score‘ and it changed my life! Thank you!
Dr Is correct, being not seen painfully marks your sense of self. I’m a survivor of invisibility, this premise is true.
Bessel is a global treasure. Man from a particular time and experience and am truly grateful for his work and lessons.
I've done EMDR. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. It changes the emotions around your trauma. My therapist said it's like being an actor on the stage to becoming a person in the audience, in regard to your emotions around your trauma. The distance it gives is amazing.
I’m about to start EMDR, thank you
@sayusayme7729 just go for it. I dealt with 3 memories in an hour. The best thing I ever did for myself.
I've spent maybe hundreds of hours watching Bessell her on yt and in CE classes. I have never seen an interviewer therapize him. Beautiful
How the hell did you get Van der Kolk ?!??! I'm so impressed 👏 🎉
Agreed, this is a HUGE feather in your cap as an interviewer.
He's had a lot of big names lately. It's just about growing a following and of course having funding
van der Kolk has to sell books!
@@gloriatr604ugh. Zero value comment. He doesn't live from selling his book. He is a profesor at Medical school, he has a private practice and he is invited to lecture all over the world. . Do you think selling a book in plus will bring some good money? Before talking I sugest to think a little bit. Have a nice and calm day..
i hope you are happy 😊❤
Martial arts saved my life. It built up my confidence and strengthened my body, but it also helped my mental health. After years of training, others I have seen the same effect on them many times over.
@@khurramalavi498 what type of martial arts did you practice?
Kickboxing. I used to compete and then later teach and coach. I can trace the turning point of my life thanks to training and the people I met because of it.
@@khurramalavi498 totally believe it. Community and shared experience is so vital. I grew up playing sports and loved it, but ever since being an adult and not having sports in my life, life has been a struggle. I'm trying to do pick up sports and group fitness classes to scratch that itch, but I've thought about martial arts as well
I've been thinking about starting kick boxing too. Trying to recover from recent traumas
We need more videos like this where we talk about mental health and lifestyle issues.
I went through a brutal assault close to unaliving. And couldn’t seem to shift the intense fear that followed. I was living in a trauma loop.
I had some emdr. It was honestly life changing. The first session my heart rate got to 158 just reliving the experience. By the 3rd session I felt a strange calm I had never felt in my life before. My resting heart rate dropped from 98 to 88 consistently and ongoing. (Saved on my Fitbit)
This past 6 months it’s dropped a further 10 beats.
After that taste of regulation the benefits of further sessions came very quickly dealing with other childhood stuff. Even now when I get upset about something, i can stay close to calm.
I had a lot of talk therapy over the year’s. nothing worked until emdr.
This incredible work gave me my life back. Thankyou Thankyou 😊
You are courageous. Uplifting to hear your story of healing. ❤❤❤
Good for you! How did you find your EMDR practitioner?
❤❤❤
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing
I am diagnosed as having PTSD from childhood trauma. I did EMDR to process many of the horrible experiences and it was a tremendous help. It’s wild how much it helped me.
"THANK YOU" isn't enough........................as a trauma and PTSD sufferer I was glued to this interview and wept through some of it. Thank you, Mr. Barlett. And touche' for asking THOSE questions - BRAVO ~ As well, God bless Professor Bessel van der Kolk ~
Sending you love and light
Same
EMDR saved my life. I had to do over a dozen EMDR sessions and it was terrifying, but I’m fully recovered and healed from my trauma and live a happy life ❤
I have to say to one and all, especially The Diary Of A CEO, this episode with Dr. Van der Kolk is perfect timing...on the heals of the Holidays. In the late 90's I was so blessed to be "a study participant" for the early research into EMDR in Boston! I had no idea how life changing participating in this study would be for me. I can not even express how EMDR had/has helped my poor as I call it, my " broken brain". Lots of early childhood physical ((non sexual) abuse to me by my Mother. For me, the evening of my 1st EMDR session with the "team" I was so relieved, so at peace with my self and my world. I can still remember thinking "what is this EMDR stuff?" How calm I felt, how serene my brain was feeling. The study was over a year long...culminating in EMDR. However it was more, way more. The amazing team also incorporated many new tools for me to use moving forward. I've babbled on, thanks to those still with me. Dr. Van der kolk and team as well as EMDR was a life time gift, a life saving gift.😘
So glad this treatment helped you and thank you for being part of the study! Do you mind if I ask what the other tools were that helped you as you moved forward?
@@BrookeM223 Good morning. Thinking...way back to the study which took just over a full year. Much of the early "interaction" with the team was actually seeing if I did fit the criteria for "PTSD". I knew my brain was not right, however I had no idea what was wrong. Once (took several sessions) I learned indeed I did fit the diagnosis of PTSD associated with early childhood " trauma", as the team unearthed what was my trauma much of the "tools" consisted of listening to my body overriding what my brain hijacked. As it says the body keeps the score. Breathing, breath work, how to calm my body, not letting my brain take over. Educating me, helping me understand how my brain/ body was in a constant state of "alert" to
danger perceived danger. Tools: discovering what my "triggers" were was helpful. Tuning into my body vs tuning out...shutting down...freezing. I can't say anything specific as a magic tool/ wand to erase my perceived fears. Loud noises...balloons scared the wits out of me as the "pop" makes a loud noise. Validation was key for me. Yes indeed I was a small child who had no power over the adult, however I was now an adult, no longer that powerless child and I had agency over my body to feel my feelings and not "freeze" them out or internalize my feelings believing I was deserving of the abuse, I had done something to deserve it. Dr. Van der Kolk shared how his 3 year old used his "mother's" bathroom in his house and how he should punish her for that. He said how he did not do that and set a "boundary" with his mother. Again boundary setting was a tool...I had no idea I was "allowed" to do that. Sorry...on & on I babble...it is hard to express exact tools. Safety...feeling safe to discuss my childhood abuse and not being "punished" for telling my story. Compassion, compassion for that child who was hurt physically and emotionally. I had no idea I could have compassion for me, I believed it was for others. Dr. Van der Kolk and team was just the tip of the iceberg. This study was in the late 90's ( 97? 98?)...so much more has been studied and published since then, thankfully. I heard it said when we know better we do better, also as Dr. Van der Kolk said " hurt people hurt people". This is a very long answer, Tools: nothing specific, yet everything...listen to your body it does keep the score
This is profound - wow ! Ty so much 4 sharing
Don't stop these podcasts they gonna come after you and your access to better mental health care and they dnt want that . Keep doing these podcasts
Yes, they're definitely starting to come after him for allowing this perspective
Who are they?
@Jana-bd4xz You said it - WHO
I want Bessel to know that their book is one of those that saved my life.
Me too!!!
Me too xx
I loved Bessel’s book, which I read in 2014. I immediately became an EMDR practitioner. It truly is an incredible modality for trauma treatment. HOWEVER, it is NOT some sort of miracle treatment. It isn’t magical. It still requires a LOT of other work - either on one’s own or with the clinician. Of course, like all effective treatments, it requires the trust and authentic relationship of patient and clinician.
What other work are you referring to? I’ve been interested in EMDR for my daughter because she was SA’d multiple times as a child
@@itsmarieg5816 It typically requires ongoing therapy in addition to EMDR. Also, some folks may need medication and other tools depending on the overall behavioral diagnosis/prognosis.
You said on "ones own". What do you mean by that? What kind of work? Any books/ videos that you recommend to work on ourselves to heal and repair on our own.
@@LanguidAndBittersweet thanks for the info!
I admire Bessels commitment to honesty and telling it like it is as much as his profound wisdom, Best guest yet!
I went through childhood traumas and I grew up in an orphanage. Having kids that went through similar experiences and being abandoned, we had the support of one another. Now they put children in foster homes and many of them don’t have that kind of support, and many orphanages have closed. People that haven’t gone through trauma think kids need a family environment (and perhaps some do), but I am grateful for the orphanage.
Yes , I understand. an so many kids go from 1 foster home to another because their not ' fitting in ' to ' what that family wants/expects. A well known fact now. ' support groups work _ eg A.A ect. Hi od bless you
Absolutely, the tribal support system is how humans evolved to throughout, it really brings you into yourself in a peer context in a way a nuclear family cannot. thank you for sharing this.
💯💯💯 I felt this and know the constant changing family environments did not help me 🙏🏼
I;ve had 5 EMDR sessions, helped me more than 4 years of cognitive therapy. I'm not healed, but much better than i used to be. It works
Can we use anyone who has emdr training? It hasn't worked on me as the therapist did not believe I have cptsd. I am wondering if it's the therapist is the important person to pick here? Thanks.
@@Elegance191It's definitely also a matter of having a click with a Therapist. Like you have to trust them in ieder to get close to you and your trauma. I know from a friend of mine, who hadden t has a click with his therapist....it didn't have as much of an impact as it has with me.
Also heared ppl.wirh autism have less succes with emdr therapy
I am one of the fortunate individuals who have had the opportunity to connect with Bessel and engage in meaningful conversations over time ❤
I was diagnosed with CPTSD and will be starting EMDR therapy in January. This made me feel a lot more positive about it.
Lucky you!! One tip... feel into the emotions that arise. Just allow yourself to float and flow in the experience. EMDR will not harm you, only helps.✨
I'm also about to start and am so hopeful!
EMDR changed my life! It’s pretty mind-boggling, but I’m ever so grateful! I had a great therapist who was EMDR certified. The way I feel and process my childhood trauma has completely changed. I haven’t forgotten it, of course, but it no longer traumatizes me as it did for decades - directly and indirectly. Life changing!
I've had EMDR it's incredible, it's changed my life. Opened the door to savage child abuse that I've now managed to process. Such a fast process compared to other methods, but savage at the same time. Definitely recommend.
would it help with panic attacks from my chidhood .. mother was borderline and abusive to me
@@tulinbeyduz920yes it helps with all trauma ❤
@tulinbeyduz920 I would say so, but seek advice from a professional. I had complex PTSD. Mother mentally ill, abuse in the family etc.
May I ask how many sessions it took for you? @@SonyaParra
@@JamieR14
I suffer with a chronic pain disorder, and chronic migraines. I was recommended his book “The body keeps the score” a few months ago. I am over halfway through it because as much as my injury is real, and my muscle has atrophied and I have scar tissue, I struggle with strength and range of motion.
It was brought to my attention, the psychological component of chronic pain and trauma. I have been exploring it. I have an appointment in February with a psychotherapist. I am really hoping I meet the requirements to be accepted into her group Therapy sessions, so I can work on healing some childhood trauma, sexual trauma and trauma surrounding my work injury/attack that caused me chronic pain/ migraines.
Wonderful interview! Well done 👏🏻
I heard about Bessel van der Kolk a couple of years ago, and I have tried to watch interviews with him in other formats. I couldn't stand to listen to the interview; however, Steve asks his questions in such a way the whole interview is a pleasure to watch, and I have learned so much! Thank you so much Steve.
My journey to address my life of trauma started with EMDR. While it wasn't the 'fix' for my situation, it opened a gateway that I couldn't even see until myn3rd EMDR session. I moved into CBT, DBT, ACT, all paired with sensorimotor (physical) therapies. I know it sounds like a lot, however, trauma can be very complex, as was mine (past tense). I am grateful that I no longer identify as a trauma 'survivor' but, simply, Thriving like everyone else.
So impressive, Steven, to have Bessel van der Kolk as your guest.
Thank you.
His book The Body Keeps the Score was so helpful to me.
Just seeing that he knew things I knew from my own experience made me listen to all he said.
He has remarkable insights, about being unseen, being hit, and that people are often traumatized by traumatized parents.
I see Bessel, I click LIKE automatically. This man is so wonderful and has helped so many of us. Thank you for getting him! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I did EMDR and I thought it was bullshit. I was so skeptical. However, it was the only thing that helped me get out of the funk I was in after my mother died. I was trying to move on for years but I was stuck. It helped. Made it feel like I was actually leaving it in the past while still holding on to her memory.
I use EMDR on myself - it is so easy and it works wonders. I am so fortunate to stumble upon Bessel van der Kolk's work
How are you doing by yourself, did you learn from the book or a spesific resources?
I’d love to know too please
I find two seperate points on a wall in front of me and remember them. I then think about the traumatic event, remember sounds, smells, people around, feelings, sensations in the body, and let it all surface. I then quickly move my eyes between the two points on the wall about 30 times and then take some deep breaths. I try again the next day to see if there are any residing feelings left
@ wow thank you so much . Will try it out🥰
There’s also an EMDR website, which can help you administrate it yourself, there’s a helpful guidance alongside, too, I think it costs £60.
Remember to not stop the process of desensitisation in the most challenging moment, which is, when you feel the most pressure on your chest, that is very important process of healing through EMDR, as if you stop then, (because you may find it deeply unsettling) you’re bringing all the negativity to the surface but not working on letting it go, it can traumatise you even more, hence ideally it should be done with a therapist, as they can guide you to healing via adequate and important questions.
Love his explanation about trauma . I had “small T” trauma but it affected me all my life and has a huge impact on how I see the world how I show up in relationships. It absolutely does matter . I wish it didn’t but it does
This gave me so much more insight into my personal past childhood trauma and allowed me to see the impact that led me on this path. I hope that continued healing will come from understanding myself and the scientific research behind trauma better! Thank you
Bessel helped me understand my self and what happened to me. He gave me concepts and language and the capacity to have compassion for myself, and others. In those ways he was an important part of saving my life and helping me decide how to care for and communicate with my kids.
I’m only about 10 minutes in, got to the party almost an hour late. But this is an exciting topic for me. I have PTSD, which I was working on, unmedicated but formally diagnosed.
When I learned it was detectable on a brain scan, and it can heal, I knew I didn’t want to medicate because I don’t take cold medicine when I have poison sickness. Therapy helped a lot. Until I was put in a predicament a year ago that caused a whole new PTSD story. But knowing what I know now, it’s not taking the 10 years it took for the first time. I’m making progress. I can’t sleep through the night, but I can manage to nap enough throughout the day to not be exhausted. I don’t eat as much as I should, but I eat at least once a day. I don’t wash my hair on time every week, but I shower and brush my teeth twice every day. It’s not much to most people but those things are things I struggled with when I let my depression and trauma control me. I hope this episode can help me in some ways, and I hope my comment can help others as well.
No matter your cause, be it war or domestic abuse - you’re not alone. We’re in this together. 💕
Thank you❤
@HookahHoku Please please please remember that this place you are in right now is temporary. It's not 'you' permanently. No matter how you feel now it WILL pass, hold onto that so tightly.
Well done for doing the work. Keep going. Stay steady. Heart goes out to you.
Sending healing prayers and love your way.
I really want to acknowledge how hard it must be, but you are fighting that brave. Thank you for sharing, it gives me and many others hope
2023 years of conditioning,well understood by the nobility,may soon bring a reset...for power to them...not to the commoner😮the Sheep 🐏...!!!
Sending big cyber huggs.
I can relate on so many levels. You're not alone. Everything you wrote describes my life too.
❤
Wow Steve you psychoanalyzed the psychotherapist. Great interview and a reminder we all have trauma in our lives, little t big t whatever. You just don’t know what people have gone through. Be kind. And that kindness starts with yourself. Be kind to you and you will then be able to be kind to others.❤
I read his book four years ago. When reading, I felt heard, seen and understood. So I’m not imagining things? I’m not crazy? The shame and pain I feel are real?
Then I finally got access to psychotherapy and experienced EMDR first hand. It works. I can say ‘that happened, it’s in the past, I can live with the memory’. I can talk about certain traumatic event and I’m not triggered, I’m ok, no crying, no upset.
Then a couple of weeks ago I had psychedelic trip, the one he speaks about at 1:33 onward. Yes, it’s exactly how he describes it.
I’m almost 47, and was sui**dal since I was 10. I never imagined I could live my live. So if you’re feeling stuck and suffering, hear me out - there is a way to relief, to your true self. I never imagined I would one day write these words.
Get his book The Body Keeps The Score. It’s a good start. Sending you love, and best wishes to heal. ❤
This was a lovely read.
EMDR has totally changed my life- highly recommended ❤
I think this has to be my favourite interview you have done. Dr. van der Kolk is so calm. He has such an even relaxing tone. This is fascinating...and as a person who still lives with their childhood trauma this is helpful. It's is probably the most in depth and comprehensive discussion I've seen about trauma..
Search TH-cam for lectures van der Kolk has given, there's a lot more info there.
Took a lifetime to see the imprint from my Father. When he was passing I could see his projection which was a damaging imprint on me.Thank you for the reminder . The Awareness will be helpful.
I have been working with EMDR for years now in treating the traumatic memories of First Responders. It works deeply, quickly, and is the most positively transformative therapy I have learned to do in the 40 years I have been treating people for trauma.
Bless you for your work and dedication. I recently watched Asphalt City (Sean Penn). You are saving lives through your work.
How can one use the EMDR technique alone without assistance from another person?
@ If you are processing trauma, I don’t recommend you do it alone. As you work on a memory, you can get stuck in a feeling state and not know how to move through it. That is the advantage of having an experienced psychotherapist-that person knows different ways of helping you completely process the memory if you do get stuck in anger or whatever. I have years of experiencing helping others with EMDR but I can still get stuck in my own memories.
There are EMDR apps you can use to help calm yourself when feeling distressed. One very popular app is Ed Can Help. It is based on the idea of EMDR (bilateral brain stimulation using sound). Ed is a psychologist in England who created the app for people to use on their own when they are in an uncomfortable feeling state. You are not fully processing a memory with the app, but it can give relief from intense emotional states.
@@junemcg3334 Thank you very much. I feel honoured to be able to help First Responders and others get freedom from the worst memories that push their way into that person’s day and night. It is very helpful in preventing suicide because they develop hope for the future again.
I love that Steven is not afraid to show his vulnerable side and have allow the guest to show how basic EMDR works in actual form. Keep it up!
He made a concerted EFFORT to REGIFT himself the childhood he would have wanted from his own mum and dad. This is a way we can heal ourselves.
Give your future children the childhood ALL kids deserve, full of love & preparation for THEIR future as parents
Oh finally Dr. van der Kolk on one of the big podcasts! It was about time! I am so looking forward to this one. His work and open mindedness has helped and will help so many people.
I’ve watched many guests on this podcast but this guest has been the best I heard so far, so genuine and compassionate.
Try watching Dr. Alok Kanojia
Dr. van der Kolk’s book quite literally saved my life. This interview brought me to tears. Thank you.
I spent 40-years being limited by a childhood SA. I down played the impact it had on me. After EMDR it was like somebody plugged an amplifier into my ability to feel real emotion and there was just so much more colour in the world. Being able to put that experience in the past has freed me to deal with challenges in the moment instead of being completely hijacked by negative, shutting down emotions.
You’ve got the real deal on around this subject…. Kudos to you and this podcast will help soooo many❤
I am fascinated by this gentleman ( Bessel), he is incredibly gifted and leader in his field. I also love the pod casts/ interview - so intresting
he mumbles he needs elecution lessons , he is clear in patcbes .
@@maymorton7390 try living 81 years and see how well you talk for hours on end
As an occupational therapist I love Bessel’s emphasis on connections, music, theatre, sporting and other groups, as well as body-based and somatic therapies - OTs love these activities for holistic health and healing! Interestingly I’m a family constellation facilitator also and psychodrama touches on this unique process for healing generational trauma a little, not quite. Thank you for a great interview Steven!
Thanks! This is very valuable information. 😊
You become a lonely traveler. Beautifuly said, for a very painful choice to make. It took me decades to understand that to keep sane and finally be happy to be me, I had to cut contact with my entire family, even if I already had moved to an other country for decades. Some years later, I accept that I always was and always will be a lonely traveler all my life. Thank you for the interview.
Fabulous interview - thank you!
🔥🔥🔥
Thank you DOAC for your service to humanity bringing this conversation into the main stream 🥳.
39:25
Update, my name is Hokulani. I’m Hawaiian. Hula is amazing, and I often dance when I’m feeling down - it’s one of my therapy learned techniques to bring myself out of my bad days, long enough to be productive at least.
Fun fact: Hula is like sign language, each movement means something - and thus stories are told not just through the chants, but through the dance.
Additional fun fact: It is unclear how old it was, but a pre-contact Hawaiian Sign Language was invented likely a thousand years ago. It’s still in use to this day, with modifications from ASL to account for words we never had before, and also letters since we never had an indigenous written language.
The teachings of Huna are so very powerful and thousands of years old
I can hardly put into words how incredibly amazing the work you’re doing here is, bringing such valuable people onto your podcast to share this priceless information. And yes, it truly helps the world and supports people in their healing journey. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. Keep it up.
Steven...well done again ❤. You always break things down for us and follow up with perfect questions that i am thinking of! ❤
Steven, I am one of the 50% that has been watching your podcast and never subscribed but today,today I could not hold back to click that button, bringing on Dessel was the gamechanger for me , I cannot describe what I am feeling,I am just in awe of how you do and understand your craft, you are born into this.I am a 59yr old female from South Africa and boy what I learn from your podcasts is phenomenal. I thank you .
I have the book BODY KEEPS SCORE, and it profoundly made me understand my trauma, THANK YOU SO MUCH for having him on your podcast, I look forward to your uploads every week!!!!
This interview Is just Brilliant, I have Heard Bessel many times, basically always answering same questions over anda over with his endless kindness, which is for sure needed, but you have actually given him the space to talk from a different place you both so honest and humble. Inspiring and touching and healing. ❤
Love it. "We had to do a little research, 15 years". Thx you for your continual service - both of you. ❤.
When I saw his face…I got instant goosebumps with excitement to watch this video!! Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk has been a huge huge help in learning to understand myself and realize that just because someone else says what I went through wasn’t traumatic in their eyes, doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic for me! I would give anything to be able to have 1 session with him! Great job on this interview! 👏🏻
I have read his book, The body keeps the score twice if you haven't read it please do so. A ground breaking book.
The end bit got me. Nobody’s coming to rescue you. Shaped me into an independent person by default & still hits me hard when surrounded by self-centred people. I now realise why i find it triggering & distance myself from those people. So grateful to have found some people in this world who have my back even though i can never bring myself to ask for help, it's reassuring to know they're there if i ever did. Peace to my fellow childhood trauma warriors ❤
Thank you for the insightful interview! I was surprised that Havening wasn't discussed. I'm eager to learn more about it, especially since it bears some similarities to EMDR. I've been practicing Havening almost daily for some time, and I find it incredibly effective. I truly believe it can benefit many people due to its simplicity. It's remarkable how quickly one can shift from feelings of stress, anxiety, or anger to states of calm, joy, compassion, and even love. I make it a point to practice Havening every day.
I forgot... It is also a very good practice with a partner...
Thank you so much for inviting Bessel van der Kolk. I believe body based therapy is the key for solving trauma.
Thank you for spreading these information and hope for less suffering to the world!
Great guest! EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro. Shout out to her also
So Grateful for the Interviews you and your Team does, Steven... Thank you... ❤
We are Better about Honoring what our Nervous System is Communicating about what is in the environment.
The MORE we Clear Out & Clean Up what has happened to us that was not healthy, functional, and benevolent, the more we are VERY aware of "who" is sporting "what" energy.
Soon people will know exactly "why" certain people are such a public and private safety threat, in and outside the Home.
Take back ALL of your Power, Heal & Recovery every part of your Biofield, and Build Life with ONLY 100% Benevolent People, Things, Opportunities, and Ideas. ❤❤❤❤❤
This episode feels like a gift. Gold 🏆First time I heard more from the personal life of Bessel. It also has so much valuable trauma related and healing content. Thank you for sharing this. 💝
I have a Masterclass subscription and this far exceeds the content that I get from it. Thank you for offering invaluable, life changing content for free. And thank you for being a very neutral vehicle that presents the information with little to no motive other than to give the guest a true voice. You are truly a gift.
Dr Gabor Maté talks about “genes” for hypersensitivity in the people who develop ADHD. It is the activation or shutting down of gene expression. There is no specific gene for ADHD or any major mental illness presentation. His book “:Scattered Minds” is a master class in defining and understanding ADHD. As a child/adolescent psych RN for over 30 years I found Dr Maté’s insight and research to be a major breakthrough and tremendously beneficial approach to overcoming the detrimental effects of ADHD.
Thanks for sharing. My 6 yr old son was recently diagnosed with ADHD, I’ll definitely get his book.
I’m now finishing Professor van der Kolk’s book ‘The body keeps the score’. It’s a must read for anyone interested in trauma and what it’s doing to our bodies. So many insights. I would also recommend it for all future parents. I wish I read it before I became one myself!
Yaaaasssss! Am an EMDR trauma therapist and I’m so excited for this episode!!
Great to finally have a guest talk with complete honesty, evidence based approach and no ego or trying to sell their own product. The success of The body keeps the score speaks for itself!
I am so excited to see this is gonna be epic. I've dealt with trauma PTSD my entire life. I've tried yoga, muay thai, psychedelics, reiki, and Neuro-linguistic reprogramming and studied NLP through UK. Meridian tapping, qigong meditation, the list goes on.
This is what I needed at just the right time. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
30:24 I literally spoke on qigong during the intro. 😂❤🥰
39:51 I'm a dance teacher. I love dance therapy. 🥰
Enlightenment is what you need
🤔 Perhaps use it to heal the 'protective' part of you that prevents your issue being resolved ... aka: clearing the hidden benefits of maintaining and keeping the problem (secondary gains/ conflicted inner parts etc). Wish you well with celebrating your fresh new self :)
Thanks for upload. Good to be a valued subscriber and appreciated. Your content is excellent and look forward to watching this whilst I start my Monday morning work grind. Hope all is well with you.
Thank You for this podcast. The interview affected me so deeply that I needed to take breaks to process it. I shed some tears along the way. What an incredible, truly competent expert with a holistic approach! I deeply regret not having met someone like this earlier in my life. I believe Europe, especially Eastern and Central, is decades behind in diagnosing and treating CPTSD. My whole life till my mid 20's was filled with constant trauma, leaving me unable to cope with life and resulting in many serious, chronic somatic diseases, which I truly believe are caused by this traumatic past. Many specialists have heard of CPTSD but don't know how to approach it. I was labeled with "chronic depression and anxiety" and conventional treatments and therapies have failed to help me. Now, at least I know what other things I should look for. Thanks again.
I love what you and your team create. Thank you very much. Please invite Michael Singer. People need to hear his wisdom and You will learn too. Thank you.
EMDR worked for my flashbacks, now the somatic work, because indeed - The body keeps the score.
Excellent interview.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD in my 50s and was lucky enough to access EMDR treatment which changed my life
One of the Best Podcasts of the entire year, Steven hearing our inner cries
Excellent episode ! I would encourage you to interview the founder of IFS (Internal Family Systems). In the book The Body Keeps the Score, IFS is being mentioned.
I think this is the most impactful episode that you've been in Stephen. Bessel + Gabor for a podcast would be amazing. I would love to hear them critique and pick each others brains.
Now you have to interview Monique hoving smeets!!!!! She’s taken EMDR one step further and it’s incredible!
I ask all my professional connections what book would they say was instrumental in their personal and professional success. My wife’s answer was “The Body Keeps the Score”. Today is our 8 Anniversary and we’re happily married; serendipity and DOAC gifted us this fantastic interview. My wife is a Social Worker for an institution who cares for children with severe autism in conjunction with other cognitive ailments. She’s made me such a better person. This talk I’ll listen to 100 times!
Thanks DOAC!
I can’t wait to be your guest some day!
I love listening to him, he sounds so jovial and soothing, I wish there were more psychologists in the world they’re so much better than your average therapists
I'm only 25 minutes in and I'm just noticing Steven being probably the most unarmed and vulnerable in this conversation, totally immersed and your questions are not coming from the logical part of your mind. Your questions are from your heart. This conversation is tremendous for this world and our generations going forth. Thank you for this 💓
"Touch, the most basic tool we have at our disposal to soothe other people, may not be used in most therapeutic practices."
- Bessel van de Kolk
My fav Scientist and Therapist at my fav podcast show 🙏 thank you!
Touch is suppose to soothe...but some people do not like being touched or even have another person stand next to them.
I am so excited that you invited Bessel Van Der Kolk i have been asking for him to be interviewed. He truly is an incredible person with all his knowledge on trauma. And he seems like a very kind gentleman. I have read his book and its brilliant, and i have learned a lot. He is definitely the best at this subjest. I find it most interesting to hear about EDMR and LSD, cant remember the name of the drug he was talking about. Whats very impressive to me is that he doesn't give medication to his patients, like most other doctors. Thank you Bessel Van Der Kolk you are the best interview I've seen and I've been waiting for you.
Dr. Bessel van der kolk pioneered the 1st studies on trauma and it's the reason we all know about trauma and PTSD the way we do now. He is considered to be one of the foremost experts in the world on trauma and I've of the 1st to recommend somatic therapy over talk therapy for the treatment of trauma. He had down that talk therapy like CBT can even be harmful for PTSD and is not a better treatment than somatic psychological methods. This was the guy that showed that the VA wasn't doing shit for our veterans with exposure therapies.