THIS Is Why Most Avoidants Come Back After No Contact
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In today's video, Thais Gibson digs into the fears of the dismissive avoidant attachment style (avoidant attachment style) and how they impact the break up of a relationship. Watch now to find out how these fears could be impacting your relationship especially if there's a no contact rule enforced as well as an exercise that you can try, as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Healthy and Secure Relationships with/for the Emotionally Unavailable Person", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:06 - What Is the Avoidant Attachment Style
00:02:44 - Feelings for someone minus fears of connection
00:04:14 - Fears = previous experiences, programmed subconsciously
00:04:49 - Examples of fears
00:07:28 - $39 Promo - DA Reconnection Course
00:08:54 - Exercise
00:13:11 - Conclusion
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Interesting video content. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@stanleymason-od4lsStop scamming 😂
I spent 2 years with a DA (I'm a FA) and I really want to emphasize that IT'S NOT WORTH PURSUING! It might seem like your situation is unique and you hang onto smallest bits of hope BUT it wont change unless a person goes to therapy and genuinely wants to understand them for the sake of your relationship. Everything else is bs and you'd be MUCH better of with a secure person. I promise you! Now I'm with a secure partner for 3 years and I've never been happier. Looking back at the DA relationship as a nightmare.
True love to all ❤❤❤
As a secure attachment, I dont want an avoidant of any kind. You need to do your own work and stay out of relationships.
What brings you to this video if you have moved on and are happier than ever? I just wondered how people find themselves commenting here if they are over their ex / breakup.
@@ell635 the algorithm can bring people here.. i have video's come up on topics i havent watched in years.. so it's possible.
I hear you.
I am happier and have moved on. I still watch PDS videos as I find them informative in hindsight. I have healed and moved on from my ex FA. I still like to learn about the condition. I still have love for him even though I would not rekindle the relationship. Most situations are shades of grey rather than black or white.
I made the decision to block my avoidant "ex", because he kept coming back with empty promises. He was able to acknowledge his unhealthy self-sabotaging patters and do some inner work, but he always made the same mistake (ghosted me) even if I pointed out that this is hurtful and if he keeps ignoring my presence, my patience with him is just simply fruitless and there is no future for us. It has been 6 weeks and it hurts like hell and, but God, I feel such inner peace and harmony since I know nothing about him. I was proud of him that at least he started to feel the importance of change in his avoiding tendencies and hope he asks for professional help. I am also proud of myself, that I was able to walk away after a year and exit this vicious circle, even if I love him to bits.
Good for you, I just did the same thing. My ex and I broke up almost two years ago, and since then, she has come back out of the blue three times, we'll reconnect, sometimes even meet up, or at least have long phone conversations, everything always goes amazingly well, we rediscover our deep connection, make plans to go out again, and then she ghosts me and ends up dating some rando three weeks later that she dumps at the 6 month mark. Like f--ing clockwork at this point. "Oh, it's been 6 months, M___ is about to call me."
Couldn't do it anymore, confronted her, didn't hold back, said everything I ever wanted to but didn't for fear of driving her away, and didn't wait for her to respond before I blocked her everywhere. I'm absolutely crushed, but I know it's the only way forward.
Good for you. I, too, have moved on. I am happier now even though I still have love for him.
“How do we prevent this from happening?”
LEAVE. Forget all labels and psychology and understanding. Why would you want to stay with someone who isn’t sure about you, who plays hot and cold games, who you never know what they’re actually thinking or feeling? The answer is if you value or respect yourself at all, you don’t. You simply have to leave and be done and let them continue their cycles, waste the time of less aware people, and abuse and take advantage of others love
Most avoidants will not work on themselves, just like most anxious will not work on themselves. Dont take them back if they are not willing to have the difficult conversations that addresses their sabotaging behaviors.
If by anxious u mean fa tjen we can t we have the most core wounds of all attachments... it s the hardest f das we are the real sufferers
LOL then who will? Healed Avoidant here while my FA ex never worked on himself.
I strongly disagree regarding anxious will not work on themselves, when in reality anxious people are the first on recognising their issues and as a consequence looking to work on it becoming more secure, whereas avoidants won't commit to heal themselves because that will be requiring self reflection, something that give them the iks...
@@elrincondelcaballeroluna APs are more likely to look for solutions than DAs, however, I also notice that quite a few stop at identifying attachment styles and put their energy into assigning blame to their partner and trying to make them change, rather than self-reflect on where they fall short in healthy relating and working on themselves. All insecurely attached people avoid intimacy, they just have different strategies to protect themselves.
Anxious will for sure
We're reconnecting, and he cant respond quickly to deep conversations, but he doesnt push them away anymore, and always sends me a text after once he's collected his thoughts... I dont wanna get my hopes up too much but im shocked at his growth.
Hows it going now?
Let mine come back two times but third time i refused. Now in a new relationship and he is going crazy texting me from time to time asking to meet up! They always come back but dont let them back and stay Single until the right person comes!
7 months. Mine hasn’t come back. I did no contact after he pulled the rug out from under me and broke up with me. Three months of no contact and then brief contact three other times, but it never went any further than that. He wished me a happy birthday on social media last month. I wasn’t expecting it. that was a month ago and nothing more. He is the ultimate dismissive avoidant. i’ve never been more heartbroken or confused
I feel you!
Why don’t you do the communication, who cares who messages first, message the same time each day. Only once daily tho, don’t over do it. These people are scared, I use avoidance to cope in some situations, I have a pushy friend she always made contact first, now I trust her because of her persistence, also have your own life and interests a partner is the icing on the cake and not the cake, they cake is my life he makes it sweeter,
As a former DA if you want a relationship with him just ask him point blank if he still has feelings for you? If so then list out your unmet needs in the relationship and how he can meet them. If he can't say yes to that then don't go any farther. Probably should make the list before starting. He is going to get very uncomfortable while talking about this, just assure him you aren't trying to blame him but want to make him aware of how both of you can be more fulfilled. He doesn't understand that concept.
@@andrewmeppen8068 I agree with what your saying, often times the DA partner isn’t a match, many people don’t understand this, my needs from my DA is two reach outs a week via text and one date night, I like to be left alone after that, I have other things to do work friends ect, I’m fulfilled with just that, it’s not fair to ask people to perform in ways they can’t, if you can’t meet their needs or they can’t meet yours it’s best to find someone else willing, it’s too frustrating for both people. That’s why I said, I do most of the reaching out cuz he can’t seem to manage it, I don’t really care if I reach out 80 percent of the time, I’m happy. With a little distance,
Sometimes when someone walks away the do us a favor we just can't see Through the pain of the heartbreak Focus on yourself and fall in love with yourself Go out have fun flirt dance Listen to music journal Eventually you'll get to the point where you don't even want them back There behavior becomes unattractive Sending your prayers and healing vibes ❤🙏
Avoidants are cowards unfit for close/romantic relationships. They are a better fit for casual friendships. Stop crying over them. Disappear from their lives. Build your own amazing life. And if you encounter another one, friend-zone them or ignore them or they will drain you
pretty much so! I like your stamina :) . you seem to know what you want and don't have time for wishy washy grey areas...
Very true
Way to be avoidant!!!!😊
No. It might sound dumb, but I want her to see how much she is deserving of love.
@@mathiasautric3845 The problem is you can't be the one to convince them of that. They have to figure that out themselves, especially with therapeutic tools. They are too damaged to properly receive and give love. Deeply damaged.
I feel like most avoidants are not going to have the hard conversations. Or if they do, they may hear you out, but they'll be shut down while you talk about trying to get your needs met. Or, they'll perceive it as criticism.
Yes, yes, and yes. My avoidant ex had no issues always telling me of the problems I had, and it was real nitpick crap. The moment I would say well x,y,z bothers me with you. She would fold her arms, turn her head or say I'm going home or i want you to take me home. Then her favorite game show of The Silent Treatment would begin. Avoid the Avoidant
I feel like it goes in one ear and out the other. They're listening, but they don't want to really hear what I'm saying because they don't actually care about me or my feelings, just meeting their own needs.
@@SkyePhoenix My avoidant ex got back with me last week. Had an amazing first night together, but back to the same crap the next day. I'm on eggshells, I'm constantly defending myself, and wait for it she blocked me everywhere yesterday after an argument she started over something I thought we had already went over earlier in the day.
I have a FA who keeps coming back, for 6 years, she'll run away, date someone else, might last a month to three, and then it ends, and she runs back into my life, although I'm just holding her as friends right now, because I cant trust she wont run away again, she had a very traumatic childhood and I've always been very kind to her.
This sounds familiar. Thank you for not judging her and keeping her in your life...even as friends. ❤
@@LeeChrissy it hasn't been easy, but i understand why she behaves the way she does now, the don't consciously run away, its an overwhelming feeling to make themselves feel safe.
Just keep that way, it will be better in the long run trust me.
@@macdavy70 I understand. My ex and I are both avoidants who lean both FA and DA. I test secure now, but I know I'm 100% there yet. We pretty much mirror each other although I have been the one to physically leave for a few months. He would shut down, but not like I did. Anyway, he still tells me to this day that he loves and adores me and always will and I to him. I think it makes us both feel safe. We've known each other forever and have witnessed past lovers and the pain we were both put through. We've always had each others back. We just can't make it past the honeymoon stage, so we remain friends.
The type of love and safety you're offering her is admirable.
@@LeeChrissy sounds familiar, I was secure and in our first stages, I had never dealt with a FA, and it put me A, I spent some time on Attachment theory and realized she was FA, leans D. So now I have my head around this, I'm approaching her as a Secure friend, but I dearly love her, despite all the damage and trauma I see through it. She very attractive and I suppose I'm one of the few men in her life that never tried to use her, she actually very intelligent and sensitive and she is aware she needs to heal, I just keep supporting her, I try and build her up. I really hope that me giving her this kind of care will help steer her to healing. you as a former FA might understand if that the right thing to do.
Its all great and professional sounding but at the end of the day anything other than secured is not worth your time. Please heal.
After 3+ years of hot and cold, him disapearing on me for weeks on end sometimes month's, coming back, rekindling with me.... us trying again and repeating this cycle about 4 times... I'm out this last time when he started pulling away he just wanted to fight with me over ridiculous things like where i park, or he would walking around all day with ear buds in not talking to me and when i tried to talk to him he just got mad..... i tried, i learned, i was patient, i read, i watched videos trying to figure out how to talk to him when he pulls away. After this last episode (its been 3 weeks of scilence) im SO out!!! This is TO much work and my heart cant take the pain anymore of him going away and coming back. Its so sad when it was good it was great, no fighting, we're great together the moment i feel safe that we might go over that hill for somethingling term maybe...that switch goes off in him after 6-8 months and he starts sabotaging, pulls away and goes silent.
I so agree!
Round 2 for us and it sounds similar to your situation.
It was great, I relaxed and was cautiously optimistic.
Then he’d pull away and start sabotaging. Usually more 4 - 5 months in.
We’re at 6 months now and he is still there, but I have to do all the work and I can’t do this anymore.
He did so great meeting my needs when I expressed them.
Still open to having talks now, but super distant. I need to end it.
The first time around, I ended it often as an FA.
Now that I’m more secure, he probably can’t stand it and needs to destroy it.
“I miss you, but I know I’m not good for you” is what he texted after we tried to reconnect and he went silent again. Then we did reconnect…
I love him, but I can’t do this anymore.
@@nathalieangela3457 same for me I’m an FA I think it’s the perfect match for DA, we understand avoidance because we understand it’s purpose , we have the anxious aspect that will keep the relationship alive, if we become more secure and the da loves us they will put in the work, because it’s a good match. I’ve broken up with mine for the 3rd time, he’s actually leaving the country but won’t put plans in place for us to do long distance, his problem seems to be his independence which is really fear of depending on me and I abandon him. DAs have big big feelings inside and if they fall in love they have a hard time with fears of abandonment, reason why they don’t want to attach. Tell him you accept him as he is and allow you some time for him to get comfortable with you. Hopefully his walls will come down eventually, life is so short tho.
Not worth the effort and emotional drain.
2:44 to 7:29 is a great short explanation of what happened to avoidants to make us the way we are. The best I've heard so far!
I tend to believe “avoidants come back,” is an urban legend. I say this as a therapist who works with many DAs who, maybe 6-12 months after will a break up will think about it… have yet to see one out of the at lease dozens (probably in triple digits) of clients ever do it.
Maybe you talk to the ones who are healthy enough to be getting into therapy. As I said earlier, it would be an unhealthy avoidant who "comes back" and reheats the leftovers, so to speak.
All of mine did (all =3)
They're 20-25% of the population, so there are millions of people with an avoidant attachment style. Your hundreds of clients don't really measure up.
All of my ex’s have come back, this last one I thought never would, but he just reached out to me yesterday after 2-3 months of radio silence. They are tricky as hell.
Yeap after 13 years of relationship I am going too reach out to my ex, an avoidant, after emotional cheating and a discard like I ment nothing. Haha yeah right I have self respect after all. And to all those who are going through the same thing, have some dignity and do not enable avoidants. Remove yourself from these situations and protect yourself and your mental health.
Why does the reconnection phase need to be so long before moving to the hard conversation phase? I want to find out sooner than later if they are willing to work on things.
My question also!
I'm a FA/SA and I refuse to wait. Everytime my ex DA tries to initiate us spending time together as more than friends, I remind him that I'm looking for more. These rules where we should wait takes the chance of prolonging the inevitable and take longer to heal if you don't get the answere you're hoping for. It's honestly not worth it. I'd rather be my blunt self and just ask than stay in something that may or may not work.
@SunshineAndSnowflakes this is so true! Same here 💯 I'm not wasting time I'm never gonna get back.
No kidding
Who knows? Only the Lord does & He wants to heal your pain.
This video is the whole enchilada for me! Thanks Ty🙏🏾🥰
Ti, I'm amazed that I've done this before watching this video. It came to me naturally. I believe I am finally healing!!!!! Thank you for being you!!!!! It's a great help!
This is awesome. Please can you make more videos on friendships especially FAs n DAs how they can heal from big fights. I lost a sibling 6 weeks ago n my DA friend just left me to deal myself despite me asking them to b there
Ask them explicitly for support. Tell them in very detailed manner exactly what you want, to hold your hand and tell you you'll be ok, to call you every now and then to check in on you, to make you a meal, to sit in silence with you etc.
That s tough! Hugs! Next time u see that da physically slap hin/her they ll know
@miaduana trust me I did. I asked for the support I needed very detailed and consistent I wasn't koy about anything. I asked for a week of they could joke with me, because I can't find a reason to smile, if they could check on me in person or via text, if they could send me some jokes, if we could go to the gym together Here n there. Everyday for a week if we could play either board games or video games. If I could talk to them not feel judged or sometimes just sit in silence. I told them I did not always want to share my pain. Trust me I did. They would provide it once and be like I'm good. I told them I'll have good days and bad days I just need you to be there for both. Tbh they were overwhelmed by me being overwhelmed I rarely ever ask them for anything and I present strong. I went thru a turmoil of emotions, anger, sadness and logicalness(not a word but I am using it). I allowed my self to be vulnerable in front of them, I was feel sad alone, weak n deeply hurt about my sister’s passing 💔. I needed a rock as I communicated to them but they made me feel sad, angry n small. I was feeling bad to about these emotions. They tend to feed of my energy and this time I had no positive energy I was not seeing the end of the tunnel. What sucks is last year I was really there for them. I am in a different country away from my nuclear family, we did the whole we are blood pact brothers thing, so it truly hurt when they couldn’t be there for me. They were giving e space and I would be like thank you but I truly need this n this. To them, it was inconvenient, when I'd bring things up or show how other people were extending support need from them they felt blamed even though I would have either said it to them in calm tone or written a thought out text. One time I wrote a long message thanking them for being there if I have put too much pressure on u I am sorry. I actually want these things for a week to feel like myself. My mistake of saying when you are high u are super supportive n empathetic, I wish you could be that person too sober. They only zeroed in on that point removing everything I have pointed prior. They told me very harsh words during this process to the point I felt I had to get over the grief for their sake n not mine. They couldn't understand the concept of me soothing through them. It was more like I'm here today I did my part now figure ur stuff out. I asked for grace and it would only make them mad. I understood thy were going through a lot as well struggling with realigning their purpose. It just sucked they couldn’t set aside their pride n problems down for a week. I asked for the bare minimum here.
@miaduana trust me I did. I asked for the support I needed very detailed and consistent I wasn't koy about anything. I asked for a week of they could joke with me, because I can't find a reason to smile, if they could check on me in person or via text, if they could send me some jokes, if we could go to the gym together Here n there. Everyday for a week if we could play either board games or video games. If I could talk to them not feel judged or sometimes just sit in silence. I told them I did not always want to share my pain. Trust me I did. They would provide it once and be like I'm good. I told them I'll have good days and bad days I just need you to be there for both. Tbh they were overwhelmed by me being overwhelmed I rarely ever ask them for anything and I present strong. I went thru a turmoil of emotions, anger, sadness and logicalness(not a word but I am using it). I allowed my self to be vulnerable in front of them, I was feel sad alone, weak n deeply hurt about my sister’s passing 💔. I needed a rock as I communicated to them but they made me feel sad, angry n small. I was feeling bad to about these emotions. They tend to feed of my energy and this time I had no positive energy I was not seeing the end of the tunnel. What sucks is last year I was really there for them. I am in a different country away from my nuclear family, we did the whole we are blood pact brothers thing, so it truly hurt when they couldn’t be there for me. They were giving e space and I would be like thank you but I truly need this n this. To them, it was inconvenient, when I'd bring things up or show how other people were extending support need from them they felt blamed even though I would have either said it to them in calm tone or written a thought out text. One time I wrote a long message thanking them for being there if I have put too much pressure on u I am sorry. I actually want these things for a week to feel like myself. My mistake of saying when you are high u are super supportive n empathetic, I wish you could be that person too sober. They only zeroed in on that point removing everything I have pointed prior. They told me very harsh words during this process to the point I felt I had to get over the grief for their sake n not mine. They couldn't understand the concept of me soothing through them. It was more like I'm here today I did my part now figure ur stuff out. I asked for grace and it would only make them mad. I understood thy were going through a lot as well struggling with realigning their purpose. It just sucked they couldn’t set aside their pride n problems down for a week. I asked for the bare minimum here.
thank you somuch Thais this is so helpful 👍
My ex wife kept coming back. But every time she came back she only kept doing worse due to drug use. She came back after three years of disappearing on our family, she wasn’t the same person anymore. All the drug use the past three years has destroyed her mentally and psychologically. I had to cut her loose again because she’s now doing drugs around our toddler.
Sorry to hear. Everything will be fine
I laughed a little when you said they come back at 6+ weeks no contact. Yep, he’s come back twice now after 6-7 weeks. It’s only been 2 weeks this time and I have a wall up to protect myself. Right now, I have no expectations. But it sounds like I pushed too quickly the first (or second, I’ve lost count) time he came back.
Great information; thank you.
Good analysis. While I'd never go back to an ex after a breakup, this is yet another great strategy if I ever did. Great video!
Avoidant people deserve EACH OTHER. The inability to communicate effectively is such a deal breaker for normal people. It negates every wonderful thing about them. I never want to be in this situation or pain again. It was a learning lesson I don’t need to revisit.
Wish them well then let them go.
It has become a pattern for him to disappear and then coming back. This time, Im almost ready to let go.
Thank you ! I like content. ❤
As an FA, it’s taken me anywhere from 4 weeks to 2 months. The DA I was talking to no longer than 2 months. Insane cycle but I think we’re finally done. The connection was so intense but toxic.
Yep usually 6-8 weeks.
What is this time in regards too?
For wanting to reconnect?
@@nomadhitch579 reaching out after stonewalling
You are exactly describing my ex who ghosted me over 4 months ago. Never contacted him since & never will. I don’t know what I will do if he ever came back. It depends on what he will offer and prove
These time frames .. I get them but also they will drive a person nuts a bit .. all bets are off if someone has a major death in the family or medical procedure or if you are long distance.. etc. I think ppl should apply these very specific time frame verrrry loosely.
Thank you for everything you have helped me understand so much !!
i’m going into the no contact phase except we work together !!
Help me navigate this please 😢
If you work together, you need to do limited contact since no contact is not exactly possible.
As an anxious attachment style. The work that I had to do to finally make sense of the habits of the DA has taken quite the toll on me. I felt like I needed to understand not only myself and my patterns as an anxious, but the habits and behaviors of the DA to finally have the peace of mind of an explanation. Its like I have to do therapy for both me and the DA for me to finally start healing. I cant help but feel bad for the DA because it wasn't as personal as I assumed, and they never asked to be that way. But the hurt is still there and I'm trying my best to manage my own emotions. As and currently recovering anxious attach, I still care about this person, and im debating on if I should try to help them knowing that this person has been feeding into their insecurities? Or would that be self destructive to my own needs and healing?
I consume ALL of your content and this was the most helpful video.
I m glad it touched your soul
Thank you, good! activate my PDS membership now, please.I want to do healing work there.
9 months after the break up he never contacted me again..of course he watches my sories...sometimes likes one of my pics, and posts a meaningful song avout us...but nothing else! I never met such an extrêmely avoident person. I gave up a long time ago. Life goes on and beautiful things are coming my way!
Thank you! And very very helpful for where I am at right now don’t want to continue this cycle and you’re giving good points… I got distracted with the advertisement for the course and then he went back into explaining the steps so I’m listening to it for the third time… I am a singing teacher and I was just curious about the voice breaking… Check with a voice therapist regarding full abduction of the vocal folds … You have a lot of good points I missed what you were saying that I avoidant will fall in love in their own space? Thank you for your help
No contact number 107...it goes on and on and on...
Fantastic instructions for considering reconciliation of the relationship ❤between the
Oh, if only this video had been posted sooner! In an earlier version of a video where you spoke about reconnecting with a DA post NC, you had actually suggested having the hard conversation after two weeks of reconnecting, which for me was way too soon. Now in this video you’re suggesting to have the hard conversation after two months of reconnecting/dating, so this video assumes you’ve transitioned back into dating before having the hard conversation. Question is, how do you transition from reconnecting into dating? I haven’t made any moves on my ex physically out of respect for their decision to break up, so how do you transition into dating again, wait for your ex to make the first move physically, try to increase the amount of time you spend together, come right out and ask your ex what they want from the reconnection going forward?
I dated an avoidant last year. It ended, i dated a new gal and after that ended she came back. All in all about 8 months total no contact
This is crazy. My ex is like clock work every 3 months leaving
I’m not doing gymnastics and logistics to simply hang out with someone. If they can hang great, but if they treat me with this bul&hit I’m not doing the heavy lifting here.
What if i as the anxious attached broke up with the fa because of extremely push and pull for month after triggering them? One day my fa loved me, next day my fa was unsure if she would be happier without me. My fa kept distancing more and more, the more i was pushing and putting them on a pedestal. So i broke up. No contact for almost 3 month now...im happy again the most time, but how do i know, if they want to reconcile again? Wait for them to reach out indirectly? I dont want to reach out, because my ex threw our relationship away and invested nothing in the relationship after being triggered. My ex betrayed me emotionally and lied to me. Im pretty sure that my ex provocated me to breakup, because she hadn't enough courage to break up.
So in my opinion my ex has to make the initial steps to fix things...
It's crap being an avoident. If the engine oil is the negative pressure, anxious, nervous standoffish feeling, then the happy excited butterfly feelings are the engine coolant and with AP both fluids are mixed together when they should have separate closed off systems for the engine to run healthily. For want of a better analogy.
No one cares about engines 😂
The problem is, after the honeymoon phase, the coolant runs out, then "it's time for the scrapyard," when in fact, all it needed was a refill :)
@@GeoffreyAngapa Haha! Touche
I like the metaphor
How do I connect with a fearful avoidant I met online? She's an amazing, wise person who is working on herself, we have the same interests, the same vibe, but she is not replying to me.
So disappointing,,,
Let go before you get any deeper.
@@christyannceraso Oh I already have, thank you! It's been 6 weeks since my message.
I’m an FA dating a DA. He has been triggering me badly lately, where I had to end things and I meant it. But then I did that frustrating FA thing of immediately regretting it, because I ended things bc he wasn’t responding, but as soon as he did it made me feel seen. But then he said I’ve talked about leaving too many times, and he’s done done.
This just happened tonight and even though rationally I can observe and see everything that’s going on, I think I had a panic attack over it. Of feeling like I had to leave him to protect myself, and not wanting to and feeling it tear me apart. Do you have any thoughts for my situation? I love him and wish I could have controlled my reaction better 😔 I’m afraid I’ve really fucked it up by talking about my needs, and I feel like he’s justified for leaving because I shouldn’t have ended things and immediately run back to him. I hate that I did that, but my anxiety was at a level 10 and i just could not control it. It was like my subconscious was just running the show and i couldn’t stop it.
It’s so frustrating as I’ve put in over a year of work into my attachment and can literally watch it unfold in front of me, but I could not stop myself. I stopped myself many times previously, but just couldn’t this time. At such a deep level it just feels like it’s tearing my soul apart, this is misery 😭
If anyone read this and has any thoughts or has been through this before, please share what you think with me. I’ll be fine, but I’m struggling over feeling like I’ve lost the love of my life
I think if you took the brave step to express your needs that’s your whole self screaming something in this dynamic is not matching as painful as that can be to admit.
Going through something similar rn. We both deserve partners that show up in the ways we need and are open to hearing that feedback and working together. Don’t beat yourself up, talk to yourself like you’d talk to little you in a loving and compassionate way ❤ you’re doing your best
I did this too. I had an anxious reaction to my boyfriend's dismissive behavior, crazily lashed out at him and he had warned me a few times that he couldn't handle my emotional volatility and wouldn't tolerate it. So I felt responsible for my part. We were no contact for 3 weeks then met for an amazing evening and are meeting again after another 3 weeks (he was out of town this time but we still have had minimal communication). He went from being super cold and brutally dismissive to now sounding very regretful and fearful of losing me.
Give him space and time and hopefully you two can eventually come together and compromise about what needs to change in order for things to work in the future.
I know it feels hopeless and unbelievably scary. People are telling you that you deserve better and, while part of you knows that, you have hope things can change. It does help to study up on ways to work through your own core wounds and how to change your subconscious thoughts, coping mechanisms, etc.
Self-reflection, self-care, time/space and a heck of a lot of patience and understanding will slowly lead you to a much happier place. I hope it works out for you. ❤
First thing first, kudos for working on your attachment ! Not many people do it. Everyone's first aim should be to become secure and heal their core wounds. That doesn't mean that all the triggers will disappear. It'll take time too, to change how you react to it.
But let's focus on what happened. You voiced your needs and it's a great important step. You have been triggered by your partner because of their patterns. So the real question is imo, is he aware that he's DA and also willing to become secure ? It's his dismissiveness that triggered your fears of abandonment and of rejection. And from what I read he didn't tell you that he needed space. He also has to take responsibility for his actions, which they (DA) seldom do.It's his fault too, so don't blame yourself for everything. Takes 2 to tango.
It's completely normal to feel like you lost the love of your life. The separation is recent, but with time and allowing yourself to grieve and feel what happened, you'll see that maybe it wasn't meant to be a match.
I've gone through the same thing with a DA, 2 years on and off with him constantly ghosting and ignoring me for months because of his past traumas. But now 4 months post break up, I can finally see how it would have never worked out. Someone who doesn't want to change to become secure isn't my idea of a happy future. Having a reliable, consistent trustworthy partner isn't a mere utopia. We all deserve one.
@@HEYEMMY8 wow this sounds just like my situation, my ex’s warnings, and our breakup. It’s been a month since break up and two weeks no contact. Did he reach out to you at the three week mark? How’s it going now?
@@jennfahy4101he did reach out after about 3 weeks. It's been a bit touch-and-go but we have kind of started anew and are getting to a good place.
We were unwittingly hurting and triggering each other. If you are working on yourself, I believe there's a good chance to improve the relationship if there is another opportunity to do so.
For me it's been all about limiting my alcohol (to just 1 drink!), processing my emotions to self-soothe and having better control of the way I respond.
It's been nine months of NC for me after being dumped. for another. I don't think my FA ex will try to come back. He texts occasionally about casual things : co-workers, the dog, etc. Knowing him, I think he feels guilty as he tried to minimize the relationship. He wanted to date another, and remain friends. Nope. I have finally healed and have moved on. We had our time, four years of a mostly good relationship/situationship. Although I still have love for him, the relationship was too exhausting and confusing. I am happier now. I doubt he has done any healing work. I wish him well.
I just broke up with an avoidant. I’m going to try something with him since we work together. Let you know what happens
does it make a difference how long you knew each other? because i think emotional depth plays a bigger role than the timeframe? its just been 4 months seeing each other before she ghosted me. but on the other hand, i had a relationship breakup after 3 years and didnt feel the same pain at all.
My ex dumped me in February. We just laughed all the time and were growing closer and closer. Then out of the blue....💣💥 She ended it and shattered my heart. I did what I know now, you ain't meant to do and text maybe 4 times a week. No begging or being angry, but asking why?
I know that her childhood was a shit one and she'd had awful relationships. Which made me more determined to give her a wonderful life.
I've since found out, through watching these videos, that she probably has an avoidant attachment....it all makes sense...Kinda!
From feeling gutted for myself, I now feel gutted for her as we were so good together....and I think I'm more sad for her than ME!
I'm doing no contact now, (she blocked me anyway!) But if she ever wanted me back, I'd take her. I know what I'm dealing with now and I'd suggest going to a councilor....Both of us!
I want her in my life and I want to be the one that gives her a happy life. Even if it means me just being a friend, if that's all she wants.
If she shows no sign of recognising it, & consequently dealing with it, in order to move forward with growth, you’ve got to walk away.
Mine has grown tremendously in the last 3 years, since she entered the real world at 27.
We have had good conversations & she’s constantly moving forward.
If yours will not, you’ve got to ditch it & remove yourself from the situation.
It’s called self-preservation.
Don’t live believing she may change one day, she isn’t & hasn’t, so it’s a No No.
Don’t Simp out, cultivate Sigma characteristics & attract a decent lady.
😃👍
Merci beaucoup Cyrille pour cette vidéo, ils sont forts pour le marketing fait pour peau sensible… parfum naturelle à base d’huile essentielle 🤦♀️ au Canada c’est très populaire et ça me tue a chaque fois en mode, mais pourquoi vous sabotez vous même vos produits 😅 Niveau solaire on a pas grand choix, ma peau sensible tolère uniquement ceux de Laroche posay, et certains de Vichy (Avène et Bioderma j’ai fait de grosse réaction 🤷♀️). SVR nous n’avons pas leurs solaires (normes canadienne) et plusieurs de leurs produits. Le défaut du blur que j’entends régulièrement (que j’ai pu essayé grâce à une amie qui en avait ramener d’Europe) c’est la couleur du produit, il me donne vraiment un drôle de teint à cause de la couleur 😅 On doit écouter la science et arrêter avec le « mais c’est naturelle, naturelle c’est mieux » ! 🤦♀️
What about UNDER THE RADAR N O CONTACT I.E. AFTER NO CONTACT FOR 2 TO 4 WEEKS SHOW SUBDUED INTEREST AND PUSH PULL BEHAVIOUR..PUTTING TIME RESTAINT OF 30 MINUTES ON COFFEE MEET UP..BE THE ONE TO LEAVE THE DATE FIRST AND PRE EMPTIVE PULL BACKS ( BEFORE THE AVOIDANTE DOES)??
No way I'm waiting 6 months. Both ppl need to change if she's not changing n.. I'm sitting here waiting what am I doing?? 2nd break up and multiple therapy sessions but once again she tells me all the issues at the break up wen I tell her I can't do this anymore why??? Now she's askes for space. 2 weeks later she stays in contact but says she's not ready.
Is No Contact different than when they Stonewall and Ice Out? All my attempts to Repair and communicate was perceived as Abuse of their Boundary of Ice out. Even if I wanted us to practice giving empathy to transparent vulnerability. Sigh. I was told I'm abusive by desperately wanting to Repair n reconcile or have better closure.
6 weeks🤔 more like 2 to 3 months
Or 10 years?😁
I said the same thing.
It's been almost 4 months 🙄
6 weeks was dead on for me
What if they blocked you everywhere for no apparent reason? How do you reach out to them and tell them that you still have feelings for them after 2 months of no contact initiated by them?
Everything was perfect for 3 weeks - everything was mutual and open and vulnerable to a point that we were talking about being excited about what the future have in store for US and then suddenly after you make a request for clear and direct communication when you feel them pulling away a bit, you get a message - “I don’t think I can give you what you are looking for, thank you for your time” leaving you wondering - WTF happened?
How do you know if they even want to come back and take accountability for leaving you hanging like that. 😢
Were you only dating for 3 weeks? It sounds like they were pretty clear and don't think you're a good match together. I wouldn't reach out. Sorry that happened. ❤
I don't think you can know sorry, it's challenging but it's one of those things you'll just have to accept happened
Three weeks? You might find looking at some of the videos on limerance and codependency helpful, three weeks is not healthy.
You have deep abandonment issues. 3 weeks is not a relationship. You also acquired a soul tie that must be dismantled. You have to look at yourself. Why you keep doing this .Turn to the Lord Jesus for clarity.
Three weeks is not enough time to get to know someone. If they walked away, they figured you are not a good match. Move on with your life.
Could you do a video on autism and DA correlations or differences? I dated an avoidant who had a beautiful, safe, connected family (I know - I lived with them), so I'm confused how he ended up so avoidant, but I suspect he's on the spectrum
What if you are married still living together? How can you do no contact?
I'd be curious about the effects of neurodivergent traits mixed in with these. I have ADHD and possible level 1 ASD. I didn't realize those dyregulated outbursts were common and signs of overwhelm, overstiumlation or interruptions. The sensory sensitivities as well. Sigh.
Do you recommend the dumpee reach out after no contact for about 6 weeks? Most coaches would recommend against this and say wait for them to reach out
Women aren't natural pursuers and personally I've never felt comfortable in that role. So even if I initiated the break up, I probably would never reach out again. I know these dating coaches tell men to wait until women come back around, but as someone who leans avoidant, I don't do that. I actually commented this on a dating coaches video because while I agree with using no contact as a time to better yourself physically and mentally, also using it in hopes your ex will come back might have you waiting a long time. I don't know your dynamic so I can't say for sure if you should reach out, but if you need to do it for closure or your own peace of mind then go for it.
If your ex is a DA, they may never reach out during NC, so you may need to be the first one to reach out, but only do it once, and if they don’t reach out after that, don’t reach out anymore.
@@gogohappygirlWhat if he unblocked me after few months and I reached out first after 15 days of being unblocked, he replied with short answer. The next day I said thank you and he said you're welcome. lol Should I continue to reach out first or should I stop reaching out to him?
I reached out after 3 weeks of NC. She didn’t respond. She texted me 4 days later when she saw my car at a grocery store. She told me she didn’t see me text until that day (BS). We reconnected for a little bit and even went on a date. The date went super well and she started to open up to me, talking about her family secrets, relationship with her father etc. Guess what happened after that, she went dark again. Everytime she flaked on me she would be posting some sad lyrics or some feeler stuff on IG, saying stuff like she’s scared of love stuff like that. Obviously she’s self-aware but with no intention to seek help. It’s not worth it man.
@dr_fantom Thank you. It's been about a month and a half of NC. She hasn't reached out and I'm not going to be the one to initiate contact. If she does reach out, I will only consider going slow if I see she is working on her issues.
My OCD kicked in looking at the PP presentation. If you want, I’ll redesign it for you free of charge!
LOL I was so good to her. She won’t ever come back.
Do you have any videos about how to get back with a FAX that you still live with?
You could try taking it as a lesson(if there's no hopes of reconciliation) be grateful that it happened, accept that she is not your person or for you and wish her all the best and help her in need, make sure the cohabitation is pleasant. I'd say the resentment way won't work if you still live together, or one of you needs to move...
Validating that after 3 months of minimal contact he is back. But ... I'm assuming not back with the commitment I asked for because I don't really see any attempt to heal his avoidant wounds. It's very flirty. But what's funny is, this whole time I wanted him to come back and yet now I've started to heal and be so happy with my life that I don't think I even want to commit to him anyway. If he'd get trauma therapy and commit to healing I'd feel differently but he's just checking out by intriguing with me. I am still very attracted to him but I know I wouldn't even WANT my partner to be someone who is unhealed and acting out with smoking weed and indulging in intriguing as a means of escape and self protection. He's all about me now but if we actually were to sleep together then he'd only ghost again. It's just boring at this point.
6 months and the no contact and radio silence is going strong.. 😂 Don't care anymore... have ensured to work on myself. Healing is in progress and I am confident I will get there. If the avoidant has the audacity to pull something off like this after 10 yrs, so be it. Do whatever the heck you want. Let me live my life. You live your frigging life .. Goodbye!!
Too many people confuse personality disorders and behaviors telated to mental illness,& addiction with attachment styles
A person who is frequently manipulating people &running from one bed to another has more going on than a disorganized attachment.
A person who is frequently abusive is more than "avoidant".
Those of uou who continue to allow them to come back are codependent and should really see things for whet they are vs looking online for a cure for yhe other person.
Long story short. I had all those attachments styles. AP, AF, DA - all they have 1 wound - afraid of Love. Sharing Love, Becoming Love, Accept Love. Almost 2 years ago I was a FA, I met a woman who was a FA to. When we first met I was leaning more anxious and she was leaning avoidant. But the thing is, that I had some knowledge about attachment styles but not so deep. I mean it's like knowing without even reading about it, through life experience. A little later I new when she was leaning avoidant or fearful, and I gave her what she wanted, but in a form of secure or healthy attachment style. Space - u have it. Attention - u have it. But so much, that I'm not gonna lean fearful or avoidant. Maybe after 6 months I asked about a deeper connection. I was preparing her for that moment for 6 months. But, feelings minus fear - she is leaning heavily avoidant. I understand, in one moment too much pressure. It really broke my heart, really. I wasn't holding it inside and instead put it out. Growing up by suppressing your emotions and then I realize that I can't do this anymore. I was suffering outside in a field in the evening and in one moment I asked God : How was that happening? Why? Even if you don't believe in God, u can talk to yourself, or ask yourself about something, when you are in pain - it's normal. So, my heart is broken, I can't sleep, I don't have an appetite anymore. The next step of my healing is - praying to help me get through this. It takes me another 6 months. I haven't spoken to her, watching her on social media platforms. Watch out. When I realized, that all was for a reason, even that suffering and broken heart, crying out. Let me explain to you. God is using Her to break my heart, and through this I came to him and I healed my Wounds, my Traumas, and i was healed. God is Love, and Love is that what are the FA, DA, AP are afraid of. AP - being abandoned. Those people have Love inside already from the beginning they are born, but the environment, parents are blocking from showing that, through again: emotional neglect, no support, unconditional love, acceptance. All your pain was for a reason, because coming to God, u are becoming the one in the circle of your family or friends, who are also AF, DA, AF - who show them how to love, accept love and give love. Through the love of God to you and you love to him - act and work your Believe - and through Believe - your actions. One of those actions is : love your nearest like yourself. And Love is: acceptance, support,truth, kindness, patience, understanding, quiet inside. U don't want to have everything under control or calculate when someone is gonna hurt you next time, or doing something wrong, how most every FA or DA is doing. Almost every FA or DA that I have met in my life has a good heart and soul inside. They are just afraid.
Final point. Secure attached people almost don't believe in God, because they don't suffer and don't see his actions through other people. That's why God's chosen people are the ones who suffer and more, that was already planned, that they are gonna suffer, and then through pain come to him and praise him. Pray to him and he is gonna show u, where he was using u already, to be the light in that dark place, and show u white u have got through this. I'll pray for you all, and I hope my story affects you. Thank u for the attention.
And I forgot about another thing. No Contact has 2 sides, like a coin.
1 Side - is Manipulation. If you are using that, to take your ex back, by ignoring them or making them more anxious= bad choice. What goes around comes around. God sees you deep in your heart and mind. If you're gonna do this with bad intentions, God is gonna send you someone, who is gonna do the same thing to you.
2 Side - Healing. Leaving your "enemy" ex in God's hands and not taking revenge, you give God power to show that person their mistakes, and even heal them. It takes time, sometimes even more than 3 or 6 months. For example, if that person is all his life an FA, right, 30 or 40 years long. Do you think that in 2 months he is gonna be healed. No. Step by step, God is gonna change their mind, heart, soul, but it takes patience and time. If God changed you, and removed that person from your heart, even if you pray for that, that is a sign that that's your real love sent from him. Pray for them, so that God can show them how to Love, and they're gonna love you back. Keep believing and trusting in Jesus Christ and the one who sent him - God. I'm living proof.
@@romancherednychenko Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! You really summed up everything perfectly. I have come to the same conclusion over time and I'm so grateful that God shows us his unconditional love through our experiences with other people and that those experiences - even though they seem to be heartbreaking at first - teach us how to become more loving, gentle and forgiving, as well as allowing us to show unconditional love to others. We have to be open and accepting and trust God that the pain we feel is used as a lesson to help us bring more love and healing into this world, which becomes more necessary every day. This is hard and takes a lot of work and self-reflection because we need to be honest to ourselves, leave our ego behind and open our hearts. We need to forgive those that hurt us just as God forgives us our sins and pray for their healing. No one should live without knowing that they're loved and through our painful experiences and turning them into light we become a beacon of hope and ambassadors of love, fulfilling our duty as humans to serve God. So thank you again for spreading hope and light through your comment and have a wonderful day. God bless you!
@@romancherednychenko 🎯💯🙏🏾 I felt and am grateful for the ❤ filled intention of your post. It resonated/s deeply with me. ALL this psychobabble (no offense to video/content creators bc in general, they definitely bring value/tools to help people choosing to heal) BUT what u just referenced is the short cut!!! LOVE vs fear. Choose LOVE, actually The CREATOR of LOVE, 1ST, and All these "things" will be added unto you. (1John 4:18) There is NO fear in LOVE. But Perfect LOVE casts out fear. Because fear has torment. One who fears is not made perfect in LOVE. Imagine (Image in) how one's life, health, relationships, $, etc would be if one keeps PERFECT LOVE as THEE PRIORITY, AND The ONLY OPTION!?! 🤔...❤🙏🏾🤗
@@romancherednychenkoyou forgot something?
I am securely attached and believe in God.
I'm in no contact for 10 days my ex keeps contacting me
Are avoidant aware that they’re scared ?
I don't want him to come back. I don't think so he will come back. It's better to leave this kind of relationship it's just destroy us. He took me on stage to do suicide. He doesn't deserve anything. Fall in love with an avoidant means you're going jump into a hell and it's gonna suffer you so much mentally. If anyone struggling with this kind of person then my suggestion would be try to leave them. Otherwise you would never be happy. Give some respect to yourself and your tears. Don't waste your tears for them it not worth it. I had a good lesson after this kind of fucking relationship 😅
She blocked me today, lol
Time will tell
Is anyone else’s DA brutally honest, prides themselves in being so, being “a man”? I’m not referring to defending themselves during an argument, but generally speaking saying things they shouldn’t say that may trigger jealousy or hurt or resentment in you just during conversation, but they don’t see anything wrong with it because they’re “open and honest.“ I’m not sure if this is an avoidant thing or just my DA’s personality. Thank you.
I could be mistake for avoidant as I'll go no contact with friends and family. For me it's autistic burn out when it happens. My wife knows about and I just can't do social activities well and up sleep lot more. Looks like I'm depressed but totally not depressed. I'm up and down for 6 week to 18 weeks. Typically 6 weeks.
This sounds similar to my partner. He is autistic and I used to think he was avoiding me. I have noticed his patterns that cycle about the same as yours. I have been emotionally overwhelming during those times unfortunately. I wasn’t aware of what he needed
@@Zara19888 The with this it's not a no contact but can appear so. What is really needed is kindness and no pressure. Typically when it happen people get anxious and put more pressure and are not very kind about it. That just make it worse and leads to more meltdowns and shutdowns.
@@chrismaxwell1624 thanks for your reply. My partner hasn’t spoken to me for a few weeks now. I wasn’t aware of this and took it personally. He wanted space. I haven’t reached out to be respectful. Should I reach out to say hi or leave him?
@@Zara19888Sure say hi, give them an open invite when they are ready. They might not be for time or they might be. It's different for everyone and the impacts can be worse for some than others. .I just know I'd appreciate kindness, knowing someone cared about me with invitation to enter their lives once I recover.
@@Zara19888 actually autism co ocures very often with Da or Fa attachementstyle. And it's necessary for people with autism to learn to recognise how they feel, what they need, communicate their needs and to set healthy boundries to their own needs to make the chance on accuring burnout and meltdowns smaller and less frequent aswell as shorter by knowing how to deal with it. This I know as an late diagnosed Ass with Fa. Since I started working on healing Fa and actually understand better and feel better what my body was telling me I recognised that fatigue and exhaustion could be emotional overwhelm (even days or weeks delayed), social overwhelm, fysical fatigue, mental overthinking fatigue it could be not understanding of fully seeing how a situation was that was draining me, but also trying to achieve a goal that is too big and overwhelming or not getting there fast enough, it's about not being in the moment, it's about not having healthy movement hormones or good and lighthearted enjoyable connecting moments, it can be a feeling of feeling deeply alone and misunderstood, it can be too much sensory overwhelm aswell this can be delayed or being too harsh and perfectionistic to myself or being overwhelmed with empathy for other peoples problems. Learning to recognise and understand the difference between mental, emotional, sensory and physical fatigue was huge especially cause it makes room for the right solutions. Psychologists don't understand enough the connections between attachementstyle and autism. But it is HUGE.
Very good but could you try and clear your throat as it is very painful to hear the cracking of your voice.
My x asking if i wanna be bone buddies 😢
THIS is VERY BAD NEWS ... the posts are frightening.
EVERY YOURUBE VIDEO has crucified and over complicated these styles.
What could happen so bad in their childhood that they can't be 'human' and terrified.
Is narcissistic same as dismissive avoidant?
I'm a Dismissive Avoidant. I NEVER go back. It is very easy to cut ties with people and not give it a second thought.
My ex girl was like that, never gave anyone a second chance, she gave me one a week after thing went wrong, we broke up again tho but 4 months she kept stalking my story secretly, I had posted about missing this own girl and she contacted me, declined but then later gave it another chance, didn’t go well again and we broke up but was fine with being on talking terms, I declined then 2 months later I reached out, she wasn’t okay and comfortable with it so I left it alone for a month then reached out again, yet it only pushed her away more and she respectfully said no, 4 months later now with no contact, and she went to Easter service when she knew I was attending, weeks before I once again posted something similar mentioning a certain someone, as she attends the service I got shocked because when we reconnected before, she admitted that she only avoided those services because of me, yet now she attended and even to this day she’s still stalking my social media everyday.
They came back even after I asked them not too 😑
As an avoidant, I can say that I will absolutely NOT be coming back!
I wonder if it's different for female avoidants. I'm the same way as you, but avoidant men always come back in my life.
@@SunshineAndSnowflakesI think it's a maturity thing. I would reconnect when I was younger, when I got bored
K bye!
Yes stay far away
@@SunshineAndSnowflakes It is difficult for us FA or DA. We got burned so many times, we just can’t go back
I'm DA and if I'm done with you I'm done with you, many of you would honestly be better off focussing on yourself rather than strategizing to get someone back. That's the win win. A DA would only return if they are more immature because an immature DA considers that you don't actually really care about them at all and that you wouldn't care once they dip again (they will, most likely). The biggest learning lesson for us is that people actually do have a genuine interest in us but we have to come to that conclusion ourselves on our own in our own healing space. The FA I can imagine would be easier to manipulate if you wanted to get them back, just let them think you have another partner or pique their interest with little hints that aren't too obvious.
True. I think for some anxious people, having an understanding of behavior helps them to self soothe.
Ouch. This might be the case for my ex gf DA. She's likely done with me.
@@CeeP211 I feel so sorry for those guys. I try to help them get it. But I feel often they are holding onto something that's just wrong for them, which is this unhealthy expectation of fixing and changing another. Even unrequited love can be a blessing in a dark place if we let that love be without all the controlling tactics.
@@13sprintuser Most likely. I left a string of men in my twenties who are still trying to contact me in my late thirties but I honestly do not give a single damn about them romantically unfortunately, if I did I wouldn't have left. I won't reconnect as a friend because that's false hope for them. Look just love her quietly to yourself if you do have those feelings, refocus on your healing and if she comes back I would not re-engage unless she herself is actively involved in her healing and has been for some time but even then it's risky. Better to attract meaningful connection by meaningfully connecting to yourself. Big blessings brother and don't be hard on yourself for this heavy stuff.
I'm securely attached, but lean DA in a lot of ways and I agree with you on this one. Once I'm done, I'm DONE. Even if they leave me, I move on with life rather quickly. No sense in wasting time you can never get back.
This is actually not true. If a women has daddy issues she will be an avoidant. Simply ask about her relationship with her dad after a few date and if she says anything like “he was never there” or “he’s an ass” …run for the hills or waste your time and learn the hard way….you’re probably leaning the hard way because you’re watching this
Actually she's more likely to be anxious. I've known PLENTY of women with daddy issues and they fear abandonment more than anything.
That’s just a bit too general an assumption.
Nope! I have daddy issues and am healing from anxiously attaching
@@sifublack192agreed!
@@sifublack192true. I would say I fall under the Anxious Avoidant category though. I’m learning to change and be more rational in my ways now after being in relationships with Secure attachment styled people. 😅❤