Do you know anyone who is toxic around you? How do you deal with them? We have another video on "Are you unintentionally toxic, but not malicious?" Watch here th-cam.com/video/srWnj8l-NkA/w-d-xo.html
I succumb to unintentionally being a pain in the butt when I'm stressed out. I realize now after the fact that I've hurt others' feelings & stepped on toes. I will be more mindful of my bad habit. I actually have been getting on my own nerves! However, I've known others who seem to be doing it on purpose & seem to enjoy causing harm. I try to avoid them because negativity can be "contagious."
I was once a toxic friend in the past. I do wish that my ex-friend communicated his issues with me before cutting me off without giving me the chance to become a better person. It is sad knowing that no matter how hard you try to change for the better. Some people just may not accept you back into their lives. It's also sad that when I look back, I don't recall ever truly hurting his feelings and even if I did, he never spoke to me about it, and yet he still to this day carried such strong animosity towards me even when I tried to make up for my mistakes. I learned the hard way that there are some people you just need to let go of. I've been striving to become a better person ever since then, but my social confidence was never the same after this experience. Plus someone who would "block first, ask questions later" can be pretty toxic, and maybe it is really good to move on from them.
the problem is that the seriously toxic people aren't gonna self-reflect while watching this video. and the victims to narcissistic people are gonna doubt themselves and think "maybe I am the one starting unnecessary arguments."
Let's all be honest here. The majority of females have all of these toxic behaviors that was mentioned in the video. Especially the black female. The reason why we're starting to see these behaviors in males because of the single mothers who instilled these behaviors in them.
I always felt like I was a bad person, but it turned out I was hanging out with toxic people that were making me feel badly about myself. And then I myself started becoming toxic in some ways, though not to the extent of this. It's good to be self aware and cut out toxic people, seek counseling if you need it, and make a better life for yourself.
I understand this completely. I have a person in my life who i can't help being around, because of life circumstances, and they match this video almost 100%. I thought i was doing something wrong because they were so critical, judgmental, and full of themselves. I really didn't respond to the negative comments very often. I did get really pissed off a few times (in 17 years). These days, I have come to the realization they are a bit primitive and full of themselves. It turns out it's not me, it's them. I think I'm dealing with a narcissist. These days, if the BS starts, I say I have to go and leave. It really works since I'm non-confrontational. I hate saying negative things about other people but i had to make this comment. It's freeing! Best wishes your way.
You sounds like you are already deflecting . You seem to imply that your problems were a result of the behavior of others , and the solution is to eliminate toxic people . By the definitions posted in the video , I guess I qualify as toxic. However this admission is proof that a lack of ownership is not the problem . I know what I am doing , it is on me
Very true.. sometimes because of others behavior, we starts making perception about ourselves and with time realise that,, certain changes were actually not required, it was the environment that was not appropriate.
@@nakshatramusic21 that’s like saying no one’s good either how your viewed isn’t always how you are. You can be a good person viewed as bad cause of one incident
It's really weird when you were raised by these kinds of people, and virtually everyone around you made you feel this way. Then you realise that you aren't the problem and it's not your fault. It can be a bit daunting to process that.
0:39 - 1. You're argumentative 1:08 - 2. You never own up to mistakes 1:50 - 3. You can't seem to avoid drama 2:29 - 4. You're jealous and possessive 3:01 - 5. You are overly competitive 3:40 - 6. You are extremely critical of others
I was pretty scared to click on this, because I was scared that I'd see myself in these traits. But I ended up educated instead. Thanks for the advice! This channel's a great outlet to have a little self check on every now and then
I was scared too. Seeing this video in my recommended felt like an attack to my personality as I always thought I am not any near to being a toxic person. Turns out I identify strongly with all of these traits. So... time to improve!
I think it’s important to remember that toxicity, like most things, exist on a spectrum. Just because you act toxic sometimes does not make you a toxic person.
I don't let any of my friends feel negative....I don't behave such way They see me as a happy soul... But deep down I am not like this.... When someone(a bully more often) is mean to me It just hurts my self esteem and I get sooooo negative.....I imagine to brutally hit them until they die ...the scenes of blood and grave gives my brain peace..... I feel possessive but I don't act like that! I feel jealous of my own besties 🥺🥺 Oh god I still don't know am I weak or toxic?I even stutter at such times.... I don't even know how to improve🤷🏽♂️ I am 17 btw🤦🏾♂️
@@blunt_knuckles_yo "I imagine brutally hit... gives my brain peace". As much as I hate what you said there, I hate more that I feel the same way sometimes. I can't tell if it is toxicity or not either, but if it's because of the toxic actions of your friends, it's probably a mechanism of the brain, to calm us down. Or maybe it's the age; I'm also 17. And u should try to speach with ur friends about their behaviors. If they play dump and dont care, get rid of them.
@@Psych2go good question. As you mentioned on the list: I can sometimes be quite jealous, a bit argumentive, don't always own up to my mistakes and act a bit passive aggressive. Not really sure what else. That's all I know.
@@kenrickbautista6141 I feel the same way as you do... Can't say it's good being like this, but I think being aware of it is kind of a first step in fixing it. So I think you're doing great :) I'll try to do better aswell
this episode is like my mirror reflection slapping me good and awake 😢 I was feeling crappy for a long time, thinking all kinds of negative thoughts about myself and others, never looking at the mirror. I've become what I hate the most. Thank you, Psych2Go team, for another eye-opening self-reflection topic❣
Narcissistic people can also make you feel at fault and make you think you are toxic. So assess whether you feel toxic when you are around certain people or if you are that way around everyone.
I agree to this. My previous partner and I broke things off because they were becoming too toxic. I felt like I was the only one making compromises and adjusting to her boundaries. When I conformed according to she started complaining as to why I don't behave like I previously did. I couldn't understand what she wanted and we ended things on a sour note. But even after breakup, she kept blaming me for not staying friends afterwards. In fact she tried to seek physical relations when we were not together. I was so vulnerable and I felt my self-respect diminishing everytime i would engage with her in any way. I kept being manipulated into thinking that I was wrong in every scenario. She was the one who controlled everything about our relationship, whom to tell, what to do, how should we behave in public (since we're both girls). Throughout I believed that I was the toxic one and had severe mental issues because of it. I developed insecurities and a social anxiety that still creeps back. So yes, you should watch out for narcissists because they generally gaslight you into thinking that you're never good enough.
this is a good one to think on because I do not necessarily be the same way I amwhen I am being abused and around toxic folk versus when I am with folk I find to be emotional safe...
+Psych2Go *Thanks for the warning signs:* 0:37 (1) Argumentative tendencies 1:07 (2) Never owning up to errors 1:50 (3) Magnetism for drama 2:25 (4) Possessive nature 3:00 (5) Overly competitive nature 3:36 (6) Destructive criticism
I agree it isn't a thing you should destroy yourself over Work on it and try your best to correct yourself where you can Nobody's perfect As long as your not hurting someone if you are then apologize, distance yourself until you've fixed it Everyone deserves to be loved, deserves someone who cares and deserves to be happy as long as it doesn't hurt others Even people who aren't so great
“Remember, just because a friend enjoys hanging out with someone else, doesn’t mean that your friendship is less importanint to them” Nah bro bc that changed my whole perspective 😭
I always try to share these. I'm guilty of a couple of these. When I was younger I had all of these toxic behaviors. It's good to know I've grown so much with age and experiences.
@@x-x3898 most people can't acknowledge or be honest about these sort of things. It's why they don't grow and will be happy blaming others or have that victim mentality. I just want to be a kind and a loving person. I don't raise my voice anymore, or start fights for no reason. Loyalty, respect, and love is how I live my life. I can't change the world, but I can make my world and the people I know in my orbit feel loved and cared for. Love is what I'm good at. I wish you nothing but the best love. ❤️🙏🏾
@@piercedsiren most people don't hold themselves highly. We are our own worst critics. I'm proud of who I have become, not who I use to be. I'm Latina and we are born jealous. It's taken many years of practice for me not to get jealous anymore. I'm not perfect and still can get jealous. It's just not like it was before. I get jealous of my daughter's friends, because they want and prefer to be around them more than me. I miss when they were little and I was their world. So is life. I'm just happy they have good friends in their lives.
The tricky thing about toxic behaviour is that it’s generally triggered by a lack of self-esteem. For example, someone who feels insecure about their looks might attack others in order to feel better themselves. Now, I feel like reflecting about this toxic trait will make them feel even more insecure, like “oh great so on top of being ugly, I’m also a bad person!” And I’m just like “nah dude you’ve always been good looking, but you can’t ACCEPT IT and leave others be”
Damn. I think I'm being quite toxic lately. I think I've been feeling argumentative, enjoying when I enter a heated debate with someone, as well as how sad or displaced I've felt as I see some friends spending time without me. Great video, really opened my eyes.
Maybe I'm toxic but I find the argumentative one stupid. Nothing wrong with enjoying friction. We don't need to all be dopey constantly wanting to feel good people. We should use discernment rather than pathologising certain traits with such broad strokes.
I get into arguments each time people bring up conspiracy theories or crackpot fake science theories they believe in. No matter how many articles/sources I send them, they won’t change their mind. It’s nor argumentative, it’s desperation that some of the people you know are falling for all the misinformation being spread in super force since Covid. I believe being argumentative and bringing them back to the light of reason, logic, plausibility and science is a duty.
Sometimes an argument is healthy, such as a debate over a new game coming out, a movie or sports teams - so long as it doesn't become personal - when someone starts throwing personal degrading/judgemental statements around about that person or acting like only THEIR opinion counts and any other is stupid or inferior - that's when it becomes an angry unhealthy toxic argument. A healthy argument involves looking at someone else's opinion, questioning their view, looking at new ideas and maybe compromising.
I love how Shigure was featured in the thumbnail 💀 But I really did find this video helpful. I used to hang around a lot of toxic people that would crack jokes making fun of others and poking at physical features to be “funny”. I was always a victim of this, but as I hung around them more and tried to fit in more, I would also start cracking these jokes. Now that I’ve cut them off and found better friends, I notice that I still make those type of jokes out of habit. With my new friends, they’re all nice people and don’t think that way or make fun of other’s appearances. I feel mean after I make those types of jokes. I’m never actually trying to be malicious, but it’s just what I got used to with my previous friends. I’ve gotten better recently and have been doing it less, but I want to stop entirely. This video really helped me crack down on myself and made me more aware. Thanks! 💙
@@Psych2go I would say having a problem owning up to my mistakes and being possessive in my relationships. I never learned healthy communication styles. When I hurt someone, I get defensive and find ways to justify my behaviour instead of owning up to my mistakes. It's very hard for me to admit to others when I am wrong due to shame and guilt. Not that this is an excuse but i have been shamed and humiliated in the past for being wrong by different people. Unfortunately, I have taken these learned behaviours from childhood into my adult relationships. For the jealousy/ possession part I am not one to get jealous but i do get possessive over friends. I tend to feel like they no longer like me when they choose to spend time with themselves or others. I am seeing a therapist so hopefully it will help with these issues. Thank you for asking 💛
@@Vampiric-Witch first of all there's no need to be shamed of this because people do lose track of what there doing but its great that you know now, so here's something I can try to help with. You're argumentative:- the best thing to do here it that of your RIGHT like for sure you know your right just don't argue with them and just say I know I'm right, and try your best not to go into stupid arguments (this also depends on the people your with so try changing the people your with and see of that makes a difference) You never own up to mistakes:- if you ever make a mistake does not matter how small or how big, THINK before answering or speaking and if you know your wrong I know its hard but say yes I was wrong I'm sorry, we can try making this better (just think before you speak and clam your mind and even if it takes time just accept your mistake and say sorry this does not make you a smaller person) You can't seem to avoid drama:- this has 2 factors people and you your self now for yourself what you can do is first don't go in to shit when your not included and you know when you are and its just something small let it be like leave it, its fine of they said you were stupid just leave them and then if this does not work then its the friends your with and you either need to change them or stay with them and just try not getting into shit You're jealous and possessive:- I don't really know what to say for this but if your in a relationship with someone idk what to say for that but if its with friends then you know you should try meeting new people and not stay with the same one person You are overly competitive:- chill, relax its just a game were all playing and NO ONE has to win every time You are extremely critical of others:- why think about people when you know your wrong too? like if you see someone, ok you saw them now what leave them, if you saw the person you hated and talked shit about you and think critical of them, then what's the difference between you and them, people are going to be fake and leave you just like they did with that person why end up like them? now at the end just remember if you don't do this every single time and every day then there's no problem but if you do this all the time then you need to fix it because people will leave you for this. I hope this helps :) you got this!!!
Thank you so much. I developed toxic traits with jealousy and being argumentative during my first relationship. I have been working on myself since that ended in 2016. I have met a wonderful man this year but I hope that I can be my best version with this person moving forward. Self-improvement never ends.
1) People who think just because you're argumentative you're toxic are the toxic ones. What if I'm right and you simply refuse to acknowledge I'm right? How am I the toxic one then and not you? 2) I completely agree that if you don't own up to mistakes you're toxic, which is why arguing is important because usually the toxic people refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes and claim that non-toxic people are making a mistake 3) Its hard to avoid drama with people who can't accept when they're wrong and someone who beat them in an argument is right which is most people so this is wrong too 4) I completely agree that being jealous and possessive is toxic that's obvious 5) Only losers have a problem with overly competitive people. Just because I beat you in everything isn't a bad thing. The truly toxic people are the non-competitive people who don't try so they can convince themselves that they could win if only they actually were trying 6) There are tons of people who are literally causing the collapse of society because they think like the person in this video thinks. There are loads of people who are literally leeching off of the excess productivity created by a small number of people who actually provide value to society. If you have a problem with the productive people being critical of you because you measurably fall in this category of net negative value, you are the toxic one. Essentially this video boils down to the video's creator trying to gaslight people who call others out for their negative behavior into believing THEY'RE the toxic ones, rather than the people who refuse to change and accept they're wrong about anything being the toxic ones. The creator likely doesn't own up to their mistakes when someone beats them in an argument, is jealous, and possessive. Points #1, 3, 5, and 6 are in direct contradiction to points #2 and #4. If you want people to own up to their mistakes and not be jealous and possessive, the only way to do so is by proving they are wrong. You have to argue against them to do so because how can they realize they've made a mistake if there isn't an argument where you prove they're wrong? This will usually cause drama as you are being critical of others. In the mind of someone who views arguments as nothing more as a tool to "win" and "be competitive" (i.e. find an excuse to continue being wrong instead of change because changing their behavior requires hard work, effort, and improvement, hence the creator of the video having a problem with others being critical of them) rather than a tool to sorting out important delusions and ignorance as to who is wrong and right, this will go right over their heads. I hope this cleared up what is actually toxic for the sheeple who will just blindly watch this video, nod their heads in agreement, and not think because they want to convince themselves that its the people who prove that they are wrong (and therefore are jealous of these people who have the ability to prove they're wrong with logic and reason) who are the toxic ones rather than themselves being toxic for avoiding arguments all the time with people who actually know shit, so they don't have to admit they're wrong and own up to their mistakes. All the toxic people aren't going to reflect on this comment and still agree with the video's creator even though I just beat the video's creator in an argument.
I suspect it's mostly good people who watch videos like this because we want to make sure we're not becoming abusive or toxic. Like how an intelligent person always questions their intellect and tries to grow but a stupid person is certain that they are an absolute genius and never questions it or works toward learning anything new. I have met some truly effed up people in my life but I am always shocked at how bad people can be. As always thank you Psych2Go for helping make the world better by educating the masses.
Nah I disagree I think I've been really toxic lately and I wanna grow from some of the things in this video...partially because i relate to ALL of these points...
@@manazyt well that means you’re a good person; even if you have been really toxic you’re trying to grow and change, accepting yourself for who you are and recognizing that you weren’t behaving correctly. we’re humans and we all make mistakes, but not everyone is ready to accept them and move on; instead they kind of believe that in their incorrectness they’re right, and the fact that you are watching this video to see what you can improve and what you did makes you a better person.
@@manazyt , well then you desire change, you want to be a better person, you are working on yourself and how you treat others. Nobody's perfect, it's the desire to be better that sets you apart from truly toxic people. I can be a downright psychotic lunatic if provoked, ask the people I've hospitalized. But I don't want to be like that anymore, I don't want to settle disputes with swift and blinding violence anymore, I want to be a better man and a more loving and peaceful human. It's not what you did yesterday that determines your future, it's what you decide to do right now that will make tomorrow better.
I'm a toxic person. I overtly have 4 out of these 6 traits, i.e I have a magnetism for drama; I'm very possessive; I'm overly competitive; and I frequently dole out harsh criticism under the guise of ill humour & sarcasm. I'm pretty sure the other 2 are more covert, but that I do have them. Even now as I'm writing this, I have a million excuses for my behaviours, like how I have to be this way for my job, or that drama brings excitement in my boring life. And then I remember how I tend to attract similarly toxic people while simultaneously shunning away good people because I don't feel worthy. How I feel stuck and bored precisely because I don't feel fulfilled in my interactions. How staying at home with the right person can feel so much more exciting than going on many many adventures with the wrong people. So I'm hoping in 1 year's time, I can come back to this comment and be proud of myself for proactively trying to be better.
As a child I used to be bullied at school,abused by parents and had no friends. But now I'm toxic. Being toxic has really improved my social relationships 💁♀️
@@Hi-bv3wq trying to, especially hard when I’m big crowds, cus i have the feeling like someone/group of people are going to get me. So I always have that fight or flight mode activated
I think I'm becoming toxic. I'm arguementative lately even when I'm trying to avoid the situation. I have my excuses but those are not enough if I'm turning someone I'd never want to be. Thank you for the great video and also I'm proud of those people who acknowledged these traits and are working on them to become a better person. 💓
Realising and accepting our faults is the first essential step towards becoming better. No one on this planet is flawless. There’s no such thing. It’s difficult, because as humans we are hard wired to want to be accepted and be part of a group, even one’s that are toxic. It’s tough to cut people out of your life and move on, but we only get one life, and it may be over sooner than we hope. I’ve made it my life’s goal to do what makes me happy so long as I’m not harming other good people
This was genuinely super important for me to hear. I thought I was toxic in different areas, and now I'm really learning where I'm actually being toxic. Mainly possessiveness and demeaning others accomplishment. This is a super important video and I'm really interested to see where this revelation will put me.
growing up around substance, verbal, emotional & physical abuse it just seemed to be the “norm” to me. i was smart enough to know that being physically abusive wasn’t what i wanted to grow up to be, but somehow i became the one that got abused instead & the term “toxic” wasn’t really a thing nor was i privy to it. but after so many toxic situations i then realized that i was the toxic one this time around.. but i’ve been trying hard to right my wrongs, cause a toxic person isn’t who i am nor wanna be.
I always got jealous of my friends because they always hang out together and stuff. But friend (A) was my favourite and I didn’t want anyone get close to her and this video, I really found it helpful ❤
Mostly when I am jealous or possessive It's mostly because I am insecure and that I have issues with people abandoning me, and I cannot bare to lose that person, But it's something I need to work on. Thank you for opening my eyes
Yup me too...i have a online friend and whenver they talk to soemoene in other groups...i feel so strange and weird...and I compare how they talk to me and others.. and then I get insecure and I have remove myself from seeing them interacting to others any further to stop myself from comparing and such...and then I think I am not a better friend to my online friend..and sometimes ignore them...😔...this pattern is so prevalent in all my friendship
@@yuiitodoro7791 i have issues like that as well, mostly because I can’t keep up with much of anything anymore, and it’s always my fault if they do go to someone else, and it makes me sad and jealous, I understand how you feel, your feelings are justified, all I can say now is that I wish you the best of luck with your friendships
I was in a relationship for years and by the end I was so worried I was toxic and ruining the life of the person I was with ended up hating myself so much and seeing myself as I was told I acted as a toxic, childish, selfish and horrible person. Now that I am out of the relationship and trying to be a better person I am discovering that while I am not perfect I was not as toxic as I thought and the person I was with was unbelievably controlling, possessive and generally unpleasant. I feel so free and light and like I can go back to enjoying simple day to day things without feeling guilty, I can see friends without feeling like I am doing something to hurt the person that was in my life. I can sleep when I want, eat when I want and watch what I want without being yelled at or without someone trying to emotionally bend you to their wants. It broke my heart because I love her so much ... but I am free to be myself again and it feels so nice.
@@ihatelols embrace yourself. Make the most of yourself. Love yourself. I am now the most mentally healthy I have been in about 10 years. I'm doing the gym going out and doing things I never thought I would like joining and improv group starting a reforesting project and just enjoying life. I hope that you can find happiness and wellness in yourself for yourself my friend. I wish you all the best for the future and that you heal well.
@@ihatelols many thanks for the well wishes. But remember trust is like a muscle let it go floppy and soft and you may never trust again. You don't need to be moving in with anyone or any of that but don't let yourself miss out on meeting people and maybe having a bit of intimacy.
i can relate to what you mean. i was in a toxic relationship with my ex who always made me second guess myself and who would often make me feel terrible for wanting to talk to her while she would ignore me and talk to others (and for the most part, drip feed me attention so i would be attentive to her notifications) I'll admit, my mistakes/errors were that i turned to be quite codependent on her and i let her defy me for who i was but at the same time, it almost feels like it's my fault that i deserved what i got in the end (being cheated on) because i know that if i understood social cues better and wasn't as extremely codependent on her (i'm not trying to make excuses here, but for the most part my codependency came from the fact that she was the only person at the time who treated me better compared to my parents, etc) then maybe it wouldn't have happened. or maybe yet, i shouldn't have looked through her following page out of dumb curiosity during that day to find out she was cheating on me with her "friend" from work. then maybe i wouldn't have dealt with what i did. i'm sorry for the long vent, it just sometimes has me feeling upset if wether or not i was the toxic person, and i'm not even sure anymore. my parents, my sister, my ex, they all make me second guess my actions as if wether or not i'm truly in the right or if i'm just a toxic person like my dad?
@@Windermed bless your socks. It sounds like you had a rough time. It is easy to fall in love with people who are not good for us. I would suggest learning to treat yourself better than you were treated by your parents. Love yourself love who you are then you can love others. In my experience from seeing it in others and seeing in myself. Usually one person may be toxic but soon the other person also starts showing toxic traits. It's like it's infectious. You need to accept that maybe you were not at the top of your game during that relationship and figure out how best to work on the parts of yourself you feel let you down. Only by working to improve ourselves can we grow and avoid repeating the traps of life.
I am so happy this video exists. I personally got aware of my own toxic traits a while ago, and have ever since worked actively to improve myself. And it's really showing results. I have discussed this and reflected enough to know that I've never been very bad. But I have prohibited my toxic traits of getting any worse. Now, everything around me is more peaceful 💕
Thank you so much Pshych2Go, your channel helped me get rid of one of my toxic friends, after watching this video I realised my "friend" hit the criteria perfectly and watching this made me let go of them. I tried helping them and it sadly didn't work out but watching your videos makes me feel better about loosing a friend of many years. THANK YOU, for helping possibly millions of people. Carry on being amazing!
I think my worst trait is I become sad when i see a significant other or friend having fun with their family because unfortunately I don't have one. I don't like pushing my feelings onto others so when I'm depressed or speaking less they don't know why I don't know how to explain to them that I'm jealous they have a family it just seems pretentious or rude so I rather just not say anything at all.
WELL I SECOND THAT. I USUALLY DONT GET TRIGGERED BY THOSE WHO ARE HAPPY ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR FAMILY BUT I DO GET UPSET MOST OF THESE TIMES. PLUS IF MY BESTFRIEND IS IN A DIFFERENT COMPANY OR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE UPSET I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I NEVER LET THEM KNOW EVEN BY A SINGLE CHANCE.
I always thought I had toxic friends, which was true because my friends would always call up my flaws and call them "Sarcasm & dark humor or joke" I had less self-confidence than before. But as time passed I realized I became a toxic person and my friends were becoming non-toxic little by little, I have had this very over-competitive behavior since I was a child because I always felt like I'm left behind by others.
Thank you for enlightening me. I am aware I can be toxic, but I realized that I am a human who is unlearning and learning how to navigate my life. Your videos always show up right on time, and I couldn't be happier. Thank you to the team behind this channel for every thing you do, I always end up being educated without feeling judged after watching your videos.
Oh my god..... Ive done all of these except of denying my mistakes. This video has helped me realized how bad of a friend, sibling, and partner I am being.
I’ve either had or have all of these. I usually don’t act on them, but when I do, it’s to help me and/or someone else climb higher, they’re happy, and I have a new goal to achieve. I won’t downplay their achievements (even though they sometimes feel like me or my team could’ve won but luck wasn’t on our side) but I sure as hell will try to one-up them. My competitiveness has gotten me through a lot, and I’m not planning on giving up this trait soon (I had like a perfect 100% streak on exams going with science back in the 4th grade cause of this).
I do get jealous a lot but I try and keep it under control to the point it's unhealthy for myself but at least I'm not hurting others. I just try and make sure I don't openly state that it makes me jealous or upset when my friends hang out with other people. I've struggled with this for as long as I can remember and I find it's tied in with the fact I have struggled with social anxiety disorder for my whole life. It's hard for me to make friends and takes a long long time to feel comfortable around them so when my friends start hanging out with other people I avoid them because I don't know that person and I feel like they're taking my friend away from me and sometimes I feel like I'm not a good friend and they have favorites. Honestly it's just so painful and I struggle with this even to this MOMENT and it's so annoying sometimes I think it's just not worth it to make friends at all.
Jealousy is a teacher. It tells you a lot about your desires and actually does not have to do that much with other people. You are seeing something you desire yourself, if you take that insight and let it motivate you to persue that desire the jealousy fades like snow under the sun.
I think it is very good and admirable that you discovered the meaning behind your jealousy, because it could be the key to overcoming your anxiety. I don't know your friends, but if they are trustworthy and "true friends", I would highly encourage your to talk with them about your fears. If you tell them that you have problems making friends and are afraid of loosing those that you feel comfortable around, I'm sure no one will pick this up in a wrong way and it could potentially change a lot in your friendship
Social anxiety sucks. Exposure therapy helps and believe me (at least in my experience) as you get older you will be FORCED to break your comfort zones. The world loves extroverts, introverts get squashed or ignored generally. Understand all sadness generally is linked to a feeling of loss but friendship IS a possession that is mutual but not exclusive. Being possessive about a friend is likely to encourage the loss you fear where being happy around them and letting them BE them is the essence of a good friendship. You would not appreciate if your friend forced you to interact with the new friends that they are making (although it might actually be good for you)? Ditto you don't get to choose they make no new friends. They own you as much as you own them. It is a bond that is supposed to be built on trust with friendship. You need to learn to TRUST your friends. If you feel the friendship slipping then organise a time to catch up with them later when its just you two, just don't monopolise their time because that will breed resentment as well as that is a form of control. Having no friends at all is to lose before you ever played. This is not good for you, humans are social animals. Even those with social anxiety seek others to interact with. The idea that you can't feel loss if you never even had anything to lose in the first place is to make a life so valueless that nothing can be taken and so completely hollow and empty. Imagine an apartment with no couch, no TV, concrete for the flooring, exposed brick for the walls, no sinks or fittings. Nothing but walls and a roof. Does it feel liveable? 1. Don't ignore because that is unfriendly. 2. Have trust that they have your back, you lose nothing if they have someone else's back unless that someone else is a direct rival of you. 3. Set up times to catch up if you feel the friendship slipping and you can't handle being around the new people. 4. Don't be greedy of your friends time.
Do you go to therapy? This is very treatable and you can get a much better life by building a better relationship with yourself. Its very hard I struggled with similar feelings for so long.
Before I watch the video, I can already see a lot of stuff coming. I'm generally an extremely chill and upbeat person, I never ever stress out even a little bit and I'm basically happy all the time. But what I've been observing in myself lately is that I get jealous extremely fast, which makes it very hard to be happy for people I like. If a friend of mine posts pics of himself being in the gym, instead of being proud on him, I label his as a show off, because I myself don't actively exercise. If someone gets a better grade than me even though I thought I would be better, I come up with stuff like "The teacher just likes xyz more than me" instead of congratulating them. As someone who always paid close attention to who I was and want to be, it's super frustrating to face all the 'jealousy and wanting to be the best' issues and although I like myself a lot, it often feels like my whole confidence, self love and competitive mindset against others is just me trying to cover up huge insecurities that I hoped I'd never have to face again. I guess this comment is just me venting and discovering myself in the process, but still thanks if you read this far!
Its great you are self-aware and you are actively try developing yourself. Im the same I monitor myself and analyze why this or that happens in me. Sometimes its a hard period when you loose a bit of self-esteem.
Same here. I've noticed it alot more now that I'm 22 vs when i was in high school. It's essentially feeling like a second puberty almost. Like I guess your body has one and then your mind has one to catchup? Hey, life sciences was my subjects in school. Psychology ain't my field! If there's a better way to explain this I'd sure love to have it!!!
The “do you always feel like drama follows you everywhere you go” question really resonated with me. A long time ago, I used to either get into fights online or defended myself from hate and never admitted fully that I was in the wrong. Now, I try everything in my power to avoid people attacking me and criticizing me. Lately, I’ve been finding it very hard because I have certain opinions on things and like to share them because I want to be open towards others. A few people have been calling me ‘phobic’ and other shaming names, without even hearing what I had to say. I try so hard to empathize with others and see things from their point of view, and of course politely saying I disagree with certain things, but some of these people refuse to see my views on things and assume I’m this terrible person without even letting me explain myself, even though ITS JUST MY OPINION! It’s exhausting and tiring having people like this who comment on my posts. I know that my opinions are a little unpopular, but the least they could do is hear me out before judging me. I have completely changed as a person and got rid of all of my toxic tendencies once I started college. Why is it so hard for me to communicate with others?
I think there's an important aspect to the argumentative point. I was in a relationship where my me and my bf would have a fight about something, come to an agreement for the future, and he would never do his part of the agreement. This lead to us fighting the same fight consistently and constantly. It also lead to him convincing me I was too argumentative and that I "looked for fights". Only later, through therapy and speaking to my friends did I realise what patterns on his side of the deal caused our fights.
omg thank you for the jealousy and possessiveness part, I was wondering why for quite a while now I've been feeling jealous when my friend hung out with someone else the same way I do but at least I know now that my friendship with her isn't any less important than before. Thank you so much for helping me understand!
Thank you for making a content like this, because of this video I realize that I'm a toxic person for my partner, my friend, and my co worker's. I promise i will do better for all the person I love. Thank you so much
You’re awesome. I really need help I was told by my bf that I was toxic to him. I never even imagined to hurt him but I think if he felt like I was toxic to him that must be true and I must have not reflect on myself a lot. Idk what to do
this is a big relief because lately i feel like my friends trust me less than before and i was afraid if i'm being toxic with them or my feelings are getting out of control but after watching this video i was the opposite of it soo i'm kinda happy abt it
*TO EVERYONE WHO FIND THIS EARLY* As Benjamin Franklin once said, “failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” Without clearly defined goals to work towards, we’re all just drifting in the ocean. I Love You...😘
I'm so glad that I'm not relate to any of these signs. I almost thought of myself that I'm a toxic person for some reason. After watching this, I think I noticed one of my classmates who is toxic and has all of these signs. This video opens my eyes a lot. Thank you so much
Thanks a lot! I swear I was starting to become a bit toxic cause of student life and working for making youtube content and your video dropped at the perfect time.
0:00 intro 0:37 1、you're argumentative 1:07 2、you never own up to mistakes 1:49 3、you can't seem to avoid drama 2:26 4、you are jealous and possessive 3:00 5、you are overly competitive 3:36 6、you are extremely critical of others 4:16 conclusion 4:51 outro
It's weird because, I feel like personally, my automatic response is "Yeah I probably am like that" when listening to the different signs. But to others who are also feeling this way, take into account external factors as well. Maybe there are things that were out of your control, that made you feel or behave in a certain way. It's not an excuse, but it's definitely something to take into consideration when trying to decide whether YOU, YOURSELF, are a toxic person as a standalone. It doesn't hurt to ask the people you trust, what the tea is about you.
These videos are always important to me because I want to be a great friend and daughter and all around person that makes people feel better. I’d have to say my toxic traits are getting down on myself when I make a mistake and someone points it out, and sometimes not keeping to my word when I say I need a break because my anger is rising (constantly making calm conversation and then saying I need a break again and again
I have to admit all these traits points back to me. I think these are some of the reasons why my partner wants space. Toxic traits leads to bad communication. Bad communication leads to unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationship leads to break up 💔.
I have always been that person that ends up wanting to talk simply because I like debating but it ends up being argumentative instead. Not only this, but I think that jealousy thing slowly crept up in my interactions for many years, too. Recently, though I've tried my best to work on these things, I also have been alerted to the fact that because I am negative and complain about a lot of things, even though I may feel like I'm just discussing them, solutions, news and issues, etc, and am in a good mood otherwise, it drags other people down even if that isn't my intent. I come off really privileged too when I am in a position where while I may get worked up about things, it's kinda performative to just vent like that if the people around me are more affected by said thing or not in a position to do anything about it even more than I am. It's really eye opening because I've always considered myself empathetic and I try to be there for my friends, but I fall to my emotions before thinking so often it kind of invisibly chips away at a friendship until someone says something to you. So it's always good to do a self check. Thank you for these.
I was told I've got narcissistic traits for a while now, and it would annoy me every time. For a fair amount of time, I didn't realize things about myself until now, I'm trying to change, but as much as I've overcome many things, there's still some things in me that I still don't see yet. I'm an extrovert, but I've been wanting to stop talking to people to avoid hurting anyone and I'm telling you, it's really hard.
Watching this video made me realize I'm not toxic but the person whom made me leave all my friends and doesn't want me to go to college to pursue my dream career is very much toxic. It hurts a lot because I realize how long I allowed myself to be controlled by this person ONLINE (for nearly 4 years) and how long I let them isolate me from any social interaction. I tried talking to them about it but they completely deny that they have a controlling behavior. when they literally wanted to control how long and when I could talk to my mother, yes my own mother lol. I met this person when I was 11 and I feel so so so dumb I never saw the red flags when there was so many. they lied to me constantly and got angry if i laughed or said I love you, and there was so many death threats. even now when im 15 they still make comments about how if they were here in real life they'd hurt me, I can't believe after everything this is the video that makes me fully realize what is happening and what will happen if i continue to talk to this person. I have severe social anxiety because I've never went to school or had a real life friend group and that's fine. but this social anxiety causes me to throw up or feel extremely nauseous in public or talking to a stranger and it's very embarrassing. but I still try to go out and socialize even if its just going to the store on my own. but I haven't done this in a long time because this person in my life doesn't want me to go and socialize or do things. I tested them by lying and saying I made this female friend at the park, I was expecting them to feel happy for me that I finally made my first friend but they were extremely mad at me and about to leave me for good, honestly I shouldn't have told them that it was a lie, I should've let them leave for good. it feels like it'll be very hard trying to leave this person. specifically because they were my only friend and they lie and manipulate their words so much that i feel like im in the wrong. but mostly because they made it to where they were my only shoulder to cry on, the only one i could depend on. which now i know that isolating someone you love is the worst thing you can do. but I know I can pull through with leaving this person for good. even if I'm afraid of them coming over to my house, it won't stop me from leaving. I also realize I'm now more likely than not venting in the comment section. but this really helps, so thank you to whomever reads this lol
I had some traits like this and I was always told about them by my old friends and my sister. What I’ve found out know though, is that they always put themselves as the victim and always made themselves seem amazing. I used to only want them to be focused on me, I found out it was because they constantly ignored me so when I got their attention, I wanted to keep it so they wouldn’t ignore me the rest of the day (they also told me I’m not as important to them as their best friends ever directly to my face like no shit). I would always find myself getting in arguments. I found out though that it partially had to do with my mental state at the time as well as the constant drama these people had. I couldn’t avoid drama when I was friends with these people but now, I can completely avoid it. I used to like it because people would finally listen to me and my opinions. I’m very competitive. I can’t be happy for others being successful. I do believe some of it is because of my sister constantly overachieving. For anybody thinking you have a bunch of these traits, please think why. I thought I was a bad person but it was the people around me.
I would love to personally know you! I would definitely always be focused on you! I would love to give you my complete attention always! You seem like a wonderful and sweet person...and they way you talk....Its definitely everyone else and not you!
I will stop being overly argumentative, I will own up to my mistakes and I will stop being judgmental of others. I will stop my self-righteous attitude and hopefully will be healthy and attract healthier friends 🙏
I've been told so many times by someone very important in my life that everything was always my fault and was heavily criticized for years. I was made to believe I was the the toxic one and things got so confusing and I believed it. I was always trying to defend myself by saying things like, "No I didn't mean it like that", and walking on eggshells all the time for fear I'd somehow do something wrong and get in trouble, but still believed something was wrong with me, I just was wrong, everything about me. I'm starting to see the truth now, it took ten years. :(
Well... toxic moments are inevitable, since everyone is going to have bad days. It's easy to make mistakes, but hard to know when you've made one. In general, remembering to treat others how you want to be treated really helps prevent toxic moments when you're tired / not feeling well! ☀️
I definitely am cracking a lot of jokes that can make others feel worse about themselves. It's definitely a fine line of poking fun and actually hurting someone and it is hard to notice the difference in the moment for sure. Thanks for another great video and this one especially I find in today's society is needed. So once again thanks for all the great videos you all post!
Behaviours are learned and thankfully unlearned with enlightenment. I found this helpful personally. I don't think people who display "toxic" behaviours are aware of them and their impact on others. Worth remembering that people can display "toxic" behaviours without being toxic.
Personally, I struggle the most with owning up to my mistakes sometimes. It's hard to admit that you were wrong sometimes and I know it's because of my ego. Being argumentative is also a problem for me too. I don't think I'm as argumentative now as I was before, but I think that's something I still need to work on. When I was a kid and teenager, I used to be extremely critical of others, but nowadays I'm no longer that way thankfully. But as for all the other signs, I have never experienced any of them.
This was very helpful thank you! Since I started a new semester in college I've been becoming more insecure, and anxious about everything, and sadly I'm a very jealous person, especially with my girlfriends because it is harsh for to me make new friends and it looks like it was so easy for them. I feel so lonely sometimes when I see them hanging out with many people I don't know. But yeah, now I realize I need to change some toxic behaviors for my mental health.
Me before watching this: I feel like a bad person Me after watching this: Wow I'm an awful person But this has opened my eyes, and I now have some insight on how to be better. Thank you Psych
I kind of expected this, I don’t act In anyway bad, but my mind creates horrible thoughts which can also involve ruining peoples lives, I never act in this way but I hate these thoughts I’m definitely toxic, I just don’t act toxic, I don’t want to be toxic, and it’s almost like a separate person inside of me, if anyone knows what’s wrong with me and why I ac t this way then I’d hope you could help
"No need to feel down on yourself", well of course I am going to. There's no way I could be okay with the notion of me being bad or toxic. That being said, I THINK so far I have done a good job at checking myself for any bad/toxic traits. I do feel competitive about most things if not everything, but I agree with the notion that there's enough space for everyone to be a winner even if the common belief is the opposite.
I'm currently healing from a trauma that I had to go through last year and I have to admit that alot of habits or strategies I developed last year and now getting in my way and are toxic to both me and others. But it's actually so hard to let them go when, back then, they were neccesary for me to stay sane. I was basically in survival mode and these behaviours made me feel under control and helped me to stay alive during that time. Now, slowly, I need to let them go, in order to 1) let the trauma go and finally move on and 2) be a better person for me and my loved ones. I'm trying, but it's very difficult for me still. I also work with a therapist. For everyone about to change themselves to the better : I'm proud of you, hang on and keep up the good work
Omg, I'm so glad I watched this video!! I've noticed upon watching this when it was released that these were my personality traits when I was younger, and that a few stuck with me over the years. But recently, improving myself and rewatching this, I've found that I've subverted a lot of those traits!! Thank goodness;;; 🥰 I appreciate the help, Psych2Go!
I struggle a lot with being jealous and possessive with others, but I never know how to solve it, cause I try to not put it down on them, cause that would be toxic, obviously, so I end up eating it up and not talking about it to anyone, cause they wouldn't understand what I was even making a fuss about. But I can't manage to get rid of this trait, cause it seems so hard-wired into my personality due to long-term establishment.
cuz we're just done that way, to the hell this sh!t. We are WAY more sensible and loving than the average person, and thats the price. And I dont find anything wrong with it, I'd like to have a partner like that too. So yeah, F everyone
@randompasserbyontheinterne9195 I think the first step is to acknowledge your own flaws and that you wanna work on them. That already makes you less toxic. In a way everybody has toxic flaws and people will be understanding that you can't cut your traits of instantly (and if they aren't, they are toxic themselves). I guess it's not possible to completely get rid of toxic traits, but it probably is possible to monitor them, are aware of them, communicate such traits openly with those affected by it and try to keep them low by reasoning. For example, I don't know how but with one of my best friends I never feel jealous or possessive (while I do with other close friends quite a lot), because she's been left just as much as I was and she regularly reminds me of how much I mean to her. So even though I know that I am "only" her second-best friend and that stings sometimes, I can give her freedom, cause I know she doesn't just drop me, cause she knows how it feels.
@@mlgmonsterxhydra1699 Maybe you're right that we're "just done that way", but that doesn't mean we shouldn't work on ourselves. In the end past trauma might play a bigger role in it than you think. And the attitude of "F everyone" maybe is what even makes someone toxic. I don't say change to fit other peoples expectations. I mean, work on yourself for yourself, so you can be a healthy person. Yes, we're a lot more sensible and loving than the average person, but we also have some responsibility, to manage those feelings responsibly.
@@sarahwingert225 My partner is only mine, the end. Everyone else can just do whatever, Im not changing this, whats mine is only and solely mine. I do quite a bit of work on myself, but this is not the case at all, and Im fine with it, every girl my age around has onlyfans, sugar daddys and all that kinda stuff, so yeah, f everyone
@@mlgmonsterxhydra1699 Your partner isn't only "yours". In a romantic way, yes they should be loyal. But a person is allowed to have friends and be with family. Their time isn't only yours, because they're also their own person. You can't own anyone, because people's lives change, leading others to come and go. And that's okay. If a partner ends up cheating on you, don't feel as if it were your fault. They didn't cheat because you weren't keeping a good enough eye on them, they cheated because they were not committed and that's something you can't change about them, they have to make that change themselves. In order for a relationship to work, you need to trust your partner and not feel the need to control them.
This honestly helped. I kinda just realized that I can kinda relate to number 6. I do it without noticing too. Now I can remember to slow down in the moment to make sure I can word everything correctly instead of making it sound rude, even if it's a accident
I’m definitely a toxic person. I have been for as long as I can remember, back when I was in grade school, I remember I was always so possessive over my best friends. And it was like each time I had a best friend, they’d become my new victim to my toxicity. I’ve had in total 4 best friends throughout my years until now (junior in HS) that I met over the years of both grade school and middle school. These three people were friends who I was overbearing towards and very clingy to. I remember them so well, because at the time when they were my victim of toxicity, they were my everything and I would only care about them, but because I’d only care about them, I’d also hurt them the most. Growing up, I realized my possessiveness towards people was harmful, and if anything made them distant with me. So as soon as I entered high school, I tried changing that. I believe in a way, I improved myself a LOT when it comes to this. But recently, I’ve found two more people that are both equally very, very important to me. To the point these two are the only two I care about love and cherish. I have so many friends, but I have a tier of importance in my mind, and these two are the only ones who I actually care about. Which is toxic. I’m very attached to them, emotionally dependent and get separation anxiety when they aren’t with me. I feel the need to see them everyday and im always holding their hands, cuddling with them or hugging them. But im 100000% aware of my actions and how severe my possessiveness is becoming again. Right when it got better, it got worse again, because I found people who I once again, cherish unconditionally, to a point of needing to be there with them 24/7, afraid that if I’m not, they’ll somehow leave. I even think quite frequently about the scenarios of if they would suddenly pass away, or what will happen once we all graduate high school. And the probability of them dying right now seems closer because a friend of ours did pass away last year in a car crash. She was a senior, just started her senior year. Two other seniors died with her, along with her dad, and her little sister was hospitalized but survived. So the paranoia kicks in. How hopeless I’d be without these two. I do get very jealous easily, but I wouldn’t say I’m mean to my two best friends in any way. Back when I was younger, I carelessly said things hurtful to my best friends. But being older, hurting the two people I love most is the last thing I want to do, so the smallest thing off with them I notice, if they don’t feel well, I immediately notice. If they feel uncomfortable, I notice. If they’re down, I notice. If anything changes at all, I notice. I remember what they say, what they like, what they don’t like. I take into consideration every single detail so that I can do what’s best for them, because I love them so much. But it’s toxic. All of this is toxic, and I know that. I try to fix it, improve, I said I’ll stop being toxic, and I really have changed for the better. But things seem to be going back to how they used to be. It’s not like I don’t have the help I need. I have a psychiatrist, I have prescribed medication, I have a loving family with no issues. I have great friends, I have a great school, I have great grades, great everything. And yet someone who’s as privileged as me still can’t fix my messed up thought process. It’s the least I could do, right? But I can’t, even though I’m trying to. I basically just vented my entire issues, because why not. But I really do hope I can stop being so jealous and possessive all the time, because if I don’t, they won’t leave me, but I’ll leave them. Because I get tired of them and find new people.
Before watching this video, I feel like "what if I came out toxic" But after watching this, I can bet that I'm not toxic and nor too kind. I used to be extremely kind person in my childhood and I always faced disrespect from everyone. My family used to bully me and beat me since last year (when I was 18), bullied and ignored by my own so called best friends and being around toxic people from my childhood, 99% of day goes into anxiety and depression. I guess still I'm not a toxic person as shown in this video, I want to evolve myself and not convert into toxic person. Even today if someone is good to me, then I become ready to do anything for them but this world is just fucked up with toxic and selfish people !!
So sorry you were abused and failed by the ones who should have given you love. You seem to have a good attitude morally, I bet you are doing your best to recover from this trauma.
My Ex was a Narcissist, and since we split I have been told I am a toxic person, even when we were together I was getting told, and so I got it into my head that I truly was, and now after coming across this video i'm realising that the things that are listed I am the complete opposite of, whereas she IS everything on this list, I had no idea of the signs from the abuse I was getting until friends and family sat me down and told me that I needed to look from an outside prospective, I still get the abuse to this day but I am truly happier
This was so fun to watch, I love the artstyle and effort put into the episode. Each character has their own personality, and I can't help but smile at their designs lol
The illustrations were cracking me up because I definitely could see myself being this way at times in the past and I'm glad I can laugh at myself now about it. Thank you so much for your content!!
I do like to watch drama unfold, but only because I want to see how they handle it. When someone does something, all I want to know is “What’s going through your mind when you do that?” But I do find that a general trait of my Zodiac sign. I don’t believe that the stars your born under can change tour life, but it’s a side note for anyone who does. At the end of the day, I find that i’m not toxic.
I watched this video cause I've been doubting myself after falling out with my best friend. It's funny how every one of these traits appiled to her. At first I watched this to know what habits I need to change to make me a better person and know how to not hurt the people I love. I knew I wasn't the problem since almost everyone left my best friend after I cut ties with her, but I still sometimes feel like I had something to do with it. I'm not completely innocent though. I do go too far with my jokes, it might even feel like an insult to some people. I've known this for some time and I've been doing my best to fix it! I understand that even if my jokes didn't have bad intentions, it might still hurt others. I stopped making critizing jokes and my friends seem way more comfortable with me! Everyone has toxic traits no one is perfect! But as long as you know about your toxic traits and most importantly stop doing them you can be a better person.In the end I cut ties with my best friend cause she wouldn't change. I ask her to change so many times but she never did.While I changed everything she wasn't happy about.idk if she's still a toxic person now but I truly hope that she'll learn to change.
heyy can we talk abt this ? i mean i myself left two of the most closest people in my life and i feel maybe i would get some understanding if i had talked to people who have been through this
I have all the traits, especially the argumentative one and competitive one. Its not like I have a choice. My narcisstic parents have raised me to always be the topper in class, and they themselves tell me that I HAVE to beat this one girl in class. I was never able to, but I cant help always looking at her high scores and resenting her in my mind. As for being argumentative, I cant help it either when I have to silently stand there while my parents announce every single of my faults and tell me theyre "encouraging" me to do better. So I relieve myself at school by arguing with teachers, students, random kid in the hall etc. Infact Im an entp! My parents have raised me to be a toxic human being? Im still 16 but I wonder how I'll survive in society in the future 😔
Watching this video, I realised how toxic I used to be 2 years ago.. I had lost some friends and I was wondering why, and now I just realised that, I had been toxic to them without realising.. This made me change and i have less toxic traits than i used to, but unfortunately, i still find myself toxic sometimes.. Only difference is that im trying to keep that toxicity to myself, but I still know that its bad and I feel really guilty for having toxic thoughts, even of its very occasionally. Though just like said in the video, if you realise that you are toxic you can change if you try and that's what I'm still trying to do.
It's funny because 3 feels true but I'm hesitant on whether it's me and I say this because the drama typically stems from my family, and at one point my ex, but ever since I cut ties to both due to the toxic nature there's been an increasing calm around me. No big dramatic shifts, no deep seated worries; it's not always easy but nowadays the storm around me seems to have quelled considerably so I think it was more those around me rather than me per se. But as I said I could be wrong ❤
Here shouting out to all people who found themselves toxic person!!! HEY!!! Congratulations! You have took a great step in understanding yourself It’s alright if you are a toxic person, it’s alright if you feel guilty about it As long as you are having a heart to change, as long as you are trying, there is a hope to become a better person. And I ensure you although it may take a long time, you will eventually become a better person That’s what distinguishes you and “Serious Toxic Person” !!! I have seen many toxic person, and I must say “knowing” and “not knowing”, “trying” and “not trying” makes a great great great difference If you are trying to improve, I sincerely with my full heart congratulate you and wish you all the best
I relate to 4...i think it's about my insecurities Like,i'm always comparing myself to others I know it's wrong but i cannot escape the feeling of being put apart :( and thats hurt a lot
A lot of the time we tend to think we’re never at fault, even though sometimes we are. Thank you Psych2Go for reminding us that it’s important to improve ourselves so we can better our lives and the ones around us ❤
I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know if I fit any of those perfectly but this is definitely something I should reflect on. Lately I’ve started being more introspective and I wanna make sure I’m being a good friend so this was a pretty valuable video for me! Thanks!
there are limits to all of these where you can do them and still not be "toxic." i agree that these are toxic traits and i personally have 5 out of the 6, but when acting on any of them, i make sure to explain why i feel that way to those involved. i love arguments, because there will always be something to argue about, but when i argue, it's in defense of my friends and i never put myself first in arguments. it's so hard to realize your own mistakes assuming you don't pay attention to them, but it's so easy to monitor the way you act.
I’m none of those 6 things thankfully and proudly. I’m inexperienced when it comes to those toxic things because I’ve had (still have) only 1 friend that understands me 99% of the time. Back in my school days I was one of those student that would care less of trying to gain attention hehe. This is why I always self love and self focus without distractions from relationships and I’ve done researches on how to avoid relationships in my 20 plus years of living. Not everyone can make you happy, sometimes you just have to create happiness for yourself and the things around, like scented candles or other physical objects that can make your home filled with good odors and calm music playing in the background 🎶🕯🍁
Do you know anyone who is toxic around you? How do you deal with them? We have another video on "Are you unintentionally toxic, but not malicious?" Watch here th-cam.com/video/srWnj8l-NkA/w-d-xo.html
literally everyone around me is toxic and all I can do is avoid them but I'm trying my best to not get affect by them
I always have to judge myself twice, once based on my 1st brain and once more on my second (what I would do and what I did do)
I succumb to unintentionally being a pain in the butt when I'm stressed out. I realize now after the fact that I've hurt others' feelings & stepped on toes. I will be more mindful of my bad habit. I actually have been getting on my own nerves! However, I've known others who seem to be doing it on purpose & seem to enjoy causing harm. I try to avoid them because negativity can be "contagious."
Plz make a video on how we can become better in relationships
I was once a toxic friend in the past. I do wish that my ex-friend communicated his issues with me before cutting me off without giving me the chance to become a better person. It is sad knowing that no matter how hard you try to change for the better. Some people just may not accept you back into their lives. It's also sad that when I look back, I don't recall ever truly hurting his feelings and even if I did, he never spoke to me about it, and yet he still to this day carried such strong animosity towards me even when I tried to make up for my mistakes. I learned the hard way that there are some people you just need to let go of. I've been striving to become a better person ever since then, but my social confidence was never the same after this experience.
Plus someone who would "block first, ask questions later" can be pretty toxic, and maybe it is really good to move on from them.
the problem is that the seriously toxic people aren't gonna self-reflect while watching this video. and the victims to narcissistic people are gonna doubt themselves and think "maybe I am the one starting unnecessary arguments."
now now you dont go around deciding how other think
@@legendarygamers5370 but can't argue they spitting facts
It's not always like that, I have toxic traits and believe me, I am the one who wants the most to get rid of them :(
Let's all be honest here. The majority of females have all of these toxic behaviors that was mentioned in the video. Especially the black female. The reason why we're starting to see these behaviors in males because of the single mothers who instilled these behaviors in them.
Not true. I have toxic traits and I'm trying so hard to become a better person
I always felt like I was a bad person, but it turned out I was hanging out with toxic people that were making me feel badly about myself. And then I myself started becoming toxic in some ways, though not to the extent of this. It's good to be self aware and cut out toxic people, seek counseling if you need it, and make a better life for yourself.
I understand this completely. I have a person in my life who i can't help being around, because of life circumstances, and they match this video almost 100%. I thought i was doing something wrong because they were so critical, judgmental, and full of themselves. I really didn't respond to the negative comments very often. I did get really pissed off a few times (in 17 years). These days, I have come to the realization they are a bit primitive and full of themselves. It turns out it's not me, it's them. I think I'm dealing with a narcissist. These days, if the BS starts, I say I have to go and leave. It really works since I'm non-confrontational.
I hate saying negative things about other people but i had to make this comment. It's freeing!
Best wishes your way.
You sounds like you are already deflecting . You seem to imply that your problems were a result of the behavior of others , and the solution is to eliminate toxic people .
By the definitions posted in the video , I guess I qualify as toxic. However this admission is proof that a lack of ownership is not the problem . I know what I am doing , it is on me
Very true.. sometimes because of others behavior, we starts making perception about ourselves and with time realise that,, certain changes were actually not required, it was the environment that was not appropriate.
@@nakshatramusic21 that’s like saying no one’s good either how your viewed isn’t always how you are. You can be a good person viewed as bad cause of one incident
It's really weird when you were raised by these kinds of people, and virtually everyone around you made you feel this way. Then you realise that you aren't the problem and it's not your fault. It can be a bit daunting to process that.
0:39 - 1. You're argumentative
1:08 - 2. You never own up to mistakes
1:50 - 3. You can't seem to avoid drama
2:29 - 4. You're jealous and possessive
3:01 - 5. You are overly competitive
3:40 - 6. You are extremely critical of others
Three days? How? Help?
Thanks !
Becoming? Always had been.
@@Danitux11 because they are a member of the channel
I see you in everywhere . lol
I was pretty scared to click on this, because I was scared that I'd see myself in these traits. But I ended up educated instead. Thanks for the advice! This channel's a great outlet to have a little self check on every now and then
I was scared too. Seeing this video in my recommended felt like an attack to my personality as I always thought I am not any near to being a toxic person. Turns out I identify strongly with all of these traits. So... time to improve!
Me too
@@kibriaornni_04I didn’t because you know
Props to you for clicking it none the less. Do you have a follow up topic you would like to see?
I think it’s important to remember that toxicity, like most things, exist on a spectrum. Just because you act toxic sometimes does not make you a toxic person.
I don't let any of my friends feel negative....I don't behave such way
They see me as a happy soul...
But deep down I am not like this....
When someone(a bully more often) is mean to me It just hurts my self esteem and I get sooooo negative.....I imagine to brutally hit them until they die ...the scenes of blood and grave gives my brain peace.....
I feel possessive but I don't act like that!
I feel jealous of my own besties 🥺🥺
Oh god I still don't know am I weak or toxic?I even stutter at such times....
I don't even know how to improve🤷🏽♂️
I am 17 btw🤦🏾♂️
Thank you for this.,,
Sometimes one isn't actually toxic, just irritating... (and yes, it's a joke with toxicity ratings for hazardous products)
That's kind of you to write this.
@@blunt_knuckles_yo "I imagine brutally hit... gives my brain peace". As much as I hate what you said there, I hate more that I feel the same way sometimes. I can't tell if it is toxicity or not either, but if it's because of the toxic actions of your friends, it's probably a mechanism of the brain, to calm us down. Or maybe it's the age; I'm also 17.
And u should try to speach with ur friends about their behaviors. If they play dump and dont care, get rid of them.
I've met a lot of toxic people my entire life: home, school, work, gym, etc., but I know I'm no saint. I can be toxic at times as well.
What is one thing you find in common with toxic people?
@@Psych2go good question. As you mentioned on the list: I can sometimes be quite jealous, a bit argumentive, don't always own up to my mistakes and act a bit passive aggressive. Not really sure what else. That's all I know.
@@kenrickbautista6141 I feel the same way as you do... Can't say it's good being like this, but I think being aware of it is kind of a first step in fixing it. So I think you're doing great :) I'll try to do better aswell
@@Prefrontal_Cornflakes cool! And thanks.
@@Psych2go I would say lack of self awareness. Generally speaking.
the fact that you're even watching this video and acknowledging you may be toxic is already a huge step in improving yourself!
this episode is like my mirror reflection slapping me good and awake 😢 I was feeling crappy for a long time, thinking all kinds of negative thoughts about myself and others, never looking at the mirror. I've become what I hate the most. Thank you, Psych2Go team, for another eye-opening self-reflection topic❣
No worries! Glad this video was able to remind you.
@@Psych2go me too thank you so much
Narcissistic people can also make you feel at fault and make you think you are toxic. So assess whether you feel toxic when you are around certain people or if you are that way around everyone.
What if I'm only like that to one person?
I agree to this. My previous partner and I broke things off because they were becoming too toxic. I felt like I was the only one making compromises and adjusting to her boundaries. When I conformed according to she started complaining as to why I don't behave like I previously did. I couldn't understand what she wanted and we ended things on a sour note. But even after breakup, she kept blaming me for not staying friends afterwards. In fact she tried to seek physical relations when we were not together. I was so vulnerable and I felt my self-respect diminishing everytime i would engage with her in any way. I kept being manipulated into thinking that I was wrong in every scenario. She was the one who controlled everything about our relationship, whom to tell, what to do, how should we behave in public (since we're both girls). Throughout I believed that I was the toxic one and had severe mental issues because of it. I developed insecurities and a social anxiety that still creeps back. So yes, you should watch out for narcissists because they generally gaslight you into thinking that you're never good enough.
ofcourse, but also i think some people take this as excuse that's it's okay being toxic lol
I think it’s cuz narcissists tend to gaslight people often yea
this is a good one to think on because I do not necessarily be the same way I amwhen I am being abused and around toxic folk versus when I am with folk I find to be emotional safe...
+Psych2Go *Thanks for the warning signs:*
0:37 (1) Argumentative tendencies
1:07 (2) Never owning up to errors
1:50 (3) Magnetism for drama
2:25 (4) Possessive nature
3:00 (5) Overly competitive nature
3:36 (6) Destructive criticism
as an entp, (1) scared me
My father is.. 🥲🥲🥲
@Wings over the World yes bt no... realising he's toxic exactly being all those points abv💔
Tey cn change ryt?
Toxic people...
@Wings over the World I wish all fathers where like that
nc i dont have them
Everyone is a little toxic, don't forget to have some patience and grace for yourself. We're all learning and growing.
I disagree.
@@Nola5427I have no patience until rdr2 downloads AWWHHH
I agree it isn't a thing you should destroy yourself over
Work on it and try your best to correct yourself where you can
Nobody's perfect
As long as your not hurting someone if you are then apologize, distance yourself until you've fixed it
Everyone deserves to be loved, deserves someone who cares and deserves to be happy as long as it doesn't hurt others
Even people who aren't so great
“Remember, just because a friend enjoys hanging out with someone else, doesn’t mean that your friendship is less importanint to them” Nah bro bc that changed my whole perspective 😭
I always try to share these. I'm guilty of a couple of these. When I was younger I had all of these toxic behaviors. It's good to know I've grown so much with age and experiences.
Same! I’m glad that I’m not alone and we had the same story, I hope that I can improve on myself if I ever need to
@@x-x3898 most people can't acknowledge or be honest about these sort of things. It's why they don't grow and will be happy blaming others or have that victim mentality. I just want to be a kind and a loving person. I don't raise my voice anymore, or start fights for no reason. Loyalty, respect, and love is how I live my life. I can't change the world, but I can make my world and the people I know in my orbit feel loved and cared for. Love is what I'm good at. I wish you nothing but the best love. ❤️🙏🏾
I have a hard time owning to my mistakes when I realized I messed up, and I can be a little jealous.
But I never regarded myself very highly..
@@piercedsiren most people don't hold themselves highly. We are our own worst critics. I'm proud of who I have become, not who I use to be. I'm Latina and we are born jealous. It's taken many years of practice for me not to get jealous anymore. I'm not perfect and still can get jealous. It's just not like it was before. I get jealous of my daughter's friends, because they want and prefer to be around them more than me. I miss when they were little and I was their world. So is life. I'm just happy they have good friends in their lives.
This is so beautiful!
The tricky thing about toxic behaviour is that it’s generally triggered by a lack of self-esteem. For example, someone who feels insecure about their looks might attack others in order to feel better themselves.
Now, I feel like reflecting about this toxic trait will make them feel even more insecure, like “oh great so on top of being ugly, I’m also a bad person!”
And I’m just like “nah dude you’ve always been good looking, but you can’t ACCEPT IT and leave others be”
yea i literally match every single trait in this video 😐
Damn. I think I'm being quite toxic lately. I think I've been feeling argumentative, enjoying when I enter a heated debate with someone, as well as how sad or displaced I've felt as I see some friends spending time without me. Great video, really opened my eyes.
Maybe I'm toxic but I find the argumentative one stupid. Nothing wrong with enjoying friction. We don't need to all be dopey constantly wanting to feel good people. We should use discernment rather than pathologising certain traits with such broad strokes.
I get into arguments each time people bring up conspiracy theories or crackpot fake science theories they believe in. No matter how many articles/sources I send them, they won’t change their mind.
It’s nor argumentative, it’s desperation that some of the people you know are falling for all the misinformation being spread in super force since Covid.
I believe being argumentative and bringing them back to the light of reason, logic, plausibility and science is a duty.
Sometimes an argument is healthy, such as a debate over a new game coming out, a movie or sports teams - so long as it doesn't become personal - when someone starts throwing personal degrading/judgemental statements around about that person or acting like only THEIR opinion counts and any other is stupid or inferior - that's when it becomes an angry unhealthy toxic argument.
A healthy argument involves looking at someone else's opinion, questioning their view, looking at new ideas and maybe compromising.
I love how Shigure was featured in the thumbnail 💀 But I really did find this video helpful. I used to hang around a lot of toxic people that would crack jokes making fun of others and poking at physical features to be “funny”. I was always a victim of this, but as I hung around them more and tried to fit in more, I would also start cracking these jokes. Now that I’ve cut them off and found better friends, I notice that I still make those type of jokes out of habit. With my new friends, they’re all nice people and don’t think that way or make fun of other’s appearances. I feel mean after I make those types of jokes. I’m never actually trying to be malicious, but it’s just what I got used to with my previous friends. I’ve gotten better recently and have been doing it less, but I want to stop entirely. This video really helped me crack down on myself and made me more aware. Thanks! 💙
LoL I came to the comments to see if someone noticed Shigure, perfectly fitting for the topic
@@catt639 legit the only reason I clicked was to search the comments 😂
@@randomthoughts1113 Same lol, been binging Fruits Basket 2019 lately (near the end of Season 2) and I've been loving it
I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COMMENT THIS AHAHAH
I clicked on it because of shigure 😭
Feeling called out and I am grateful for it. Thanks for opening my eyes! 💛
No worries. What trait did you notice most?
@@Psych2go I would say having a problem owning up to my mistakes and being possessive in my relationships. I never learned healthy communication styles. When I hurt someone, I get defensive and find ways to justify my behaviour instead of owning up to my mistakes. It's very hard for me to admit to others when I am wrong due to shame and guilt. Not that this is an excuse but i have been shamed and humiliated in the past for being wrong by different people. Unfortunately, I have taken these learned behaviours from childhood into my adult relationships.
For the jealousy/ possession part I am not one to get jealous but i do get possessive over friends. I tend to feel like they no longer like me when they choose to spend time with themselves or others. I am seeing a therapist so hopefully it will help with these issues. Thank you for asking 💛
I found out that I have all 6 of these traits. I don't know how to work on them now. But yes, this video was an eye opener.
@@Vampiric-Witch first of all there's no need to be shamed of this because people do lose track of what there doing but its great that you know now, so here's something I can try to help with.
You're argumentative:- the best thing to do here it that of your RIGHT like for sure you know your right just don't argue with them and just say I know I'm right, and try your best not to go into stupid arguments (this also depends on the people your with so try changing the people your with and see of that makes a difference)
You never own up to mistakes:- if you ever make a mistake does not matter how small or how big, THINK before answering or speaking and if you know your wrong I know its hard but say yes I was wrong I'm sorry, we can try making this better (just think before you speak and clam your mind and even if it takes time just accept your mistake and say sorry this does not make you a smaller person)
You can't seem to avoid drama:- this has 2 factors people and you your self now for yourself what you can do is first don't go in to shit when your not included and you know when you are and its just something small let it be like leave it, its fine of they said you were stupid just leave them and then if this does not work then its the friends your with and you either need to change them or stay with them and just try not getting into shit
You're jealous and possessive:- I don't really know what to say for this but if your in a relationship with someone idk what to say for that but if its with friends then you know you should try meeting new people and not stay with the same one person
You are overly competitive:- chill, relax its just a game were all playing and NO ONE has to win every time
You are extremely critical of others:- why think about people when you know your wrong too? like if you see someone, ok you saw them now what leave them, if you saw the person you hated and talked shit about you and think critical of them, then what's the difference between you and them, people are going to be fake and leave you just like they did with that person why end up like them?
now at the end just remember if you don't do this every single time and every day then there's no problem but if you do this all the time then you need to fix it because people will leave you for this. I hope this helps :) you got this!!!
@@FutureFendiFsnista it's okay keep believing in your self by the way those cats are cute
Thank you so much. I developed toxic traits with jealousy and being argumentative during my first relationship. I have been working on myself since that ended in 2016. I have met a wonderful man this year but I hope that I can be my best version with this person moving forward. Self-improvement never ends.
1) People who think just because you're argumentative you're toxic are the toxic ones. What if I'm right and you simply refuse to acknowledge I'm right? How am I the toxic one then and not you?
2) I completely agree that if you don't own up to mistakes you're toxic, which is why arguing is important because usually the toxic people refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes and claim that non-toxic people are making a mistake
3) Its hard to avoid drama with people who can't accept when they're wrong and someone who beat them in an argument is right which is most people so this is wrong too
4) I completely agree that being jealous and possessive is toxic that's obvious
5) Only losers have a problem with overly competitive people. Just because I beat you in everything isn't a bad thing. The truly toxic people are the non-competitive people who don't try so they can convince themselves that they could win if only they actually were trying
6) There are tons of people who are literally causing the collapse of society because they think like the person in this video thinks. There are loads of people who are literally leeching off of the excess productivity created by a small number of people who actually provide value to society. If you have a problem with the productive people being critical of you because you measurably fall in this category of net negative value, you are the toxic one.
Essentially this video boils down to the video's creator trying to gaslight people who call others out for their negative behavior into believing THEY'RE the toxic ones, rather than the people who refuse to change and accept they're wrong about anything being the toxic ones. The creator likely doesn't own up to their mistakes when someone beats them in an argument, is jealous, and possessive.
Points #1, 3, 5, and 6 are in direct contradiction to points #2 and #4. If you want people to own up to their mistakes and not be jealous and possessive, the only way to do so is by proving they are wrong. You have to argue against them to do so because how can they realize they've made a mistake if there isn't an argument where you prove they're wrong? This will usually cause drama as you are being critical of others. In the mind of someone who views arguments as nothing more as a tool to "win" and "be competitive" (i.e. find an excuse to continue being wrong instead of change because changing their behavior requires hard work, effort, and improvement, hence the creator of the video having a problem with others being critical of them) rather than a tool to sorting out important delusions and ignorance as to who is wrong and right, this will go right over their heads.
I hope this cleared up what is actually toxic for the sheeple who will just blindly watch this video, nod their heads in agreement, and not think because they want to convince themselves that its the people who prove that they are wrong (and therefore are jealous of these people who have the ability to prove they're wrong with logic and reason) who are the toxic ones rather than themselves being toxic for avoiding arguments all the time with people who actually know shit, so they don't have to admit they're wrong and own up to their mistakes.
All the toxic people aren't going to reflect on this comment and still agree with the video's creator even though I just beat the video's creator in an argument.
I suspect it's mostly good people who watch videos like this because we want to make sure we're not becoming abusive or toxic. Like how an intelligent person always questions their intellect and tries to grow but a stupid person is certain that they are an absolute genius and never questions it or works toward learning anything new. I have met some truly effed up people in my life but I am always shocked at how bad people can be. As always thank you Psych2Go for helping make the world better by educating the masses.
I agree
This is very reassuring. Thank you, friend
Nah I disagree I think I've been really toxic lately and I wanna grow from some of the things in this video...partially because i relate to ALL of these points...
@@manazyt well that means you’re a good person; even if you have been really toxic you’re trying to grow and change, accepting yourself for who you are and recognizing that you weren’t behaving correctly. we’re humans and we all make mistakes, but not everyone is ready to accept them and move on; instead they kind of believe that in their incorrectness they’re right, and the fact that you are watching this video to see what you can improve and what you did makes you a better person.
@@manazyt , well then you desire change, you want to be a better person, you are working on yourself and how you treat others. Nobody's perfect, it's the desire to be better that sets you apart from truly toxic people. I can be a downright psychotic lunatic if provoked, ask the people I've hospitalized. But I don't want to be like that anymore, I don't want to settle disputes with swift and blinding violence anymore, I want to be a better man and a more loving and peaceful human. It's not what you did yesterday that determines your future, it's what you decide to do right now that will make tomorrow better.
I'm a toxic person. I overtly have 4 out of these 6 traits, i.e I have a magnetism for drama; I'm very possessive; I'm overly competitive; and I frequently dole out harsh criticism under the guise of ill humour & sarcasm. I'm pretty sure the other 2 are more covert, but that I do have them.
Even now as I'm writing this, I have a million excuses for my behaviours, like how I have to be this way for my job, or that drama brings excitement in my boring life. And then I remember how I tend to attract similarly toxic people while simultaneously shunning away good people because I don't feel worthy. How I feel stuck and bored precisely because I don't feel fulfilled in my interactions. How staying at home with the right person can feel so much more exciting than going on many many adventures with the wrong people.
So I'm hoping in 1 year's time, I can come back to this comment and be proud of myself for proactively trying to be better.
U got this❤
When I read the first sentence, I thought you would be one of those ppl that are proud of how toxic they are. I'm glad you aren't one of those ppl
Your not a toxic person for admitting it. Im so proud of you and I am sure a bunch of others are! Keep going I so believe in you! You so got this!
I have 5 out of the 6
alright alright alright lesgo
As a child I used to be bullied at school,abused by parents and had no friends. But now I'm toxic. Being toxic has really improved my social relationships 💁♀️
As a victim of bullying, I’d like to say that my toxic traits prevent me from having fun. But yea i think I’m slowly Improving
I'm SO sorry to hear that! Stay strong!
@@hypersmash1088 Stay strong!!
@@Hi-bv3wq trying to, especially hard when I’m big crowds, cus i have the feeling like someone/group of people are going to get me. So I always have that fight or flight mode activated
@@hypersmash1088 It's great that you're trying!! Hard work pays off!! Keep being strong!!
I think I'm becoming toxic. I'm arguementative lately even when I'm trying to avoid the situation. I have my excuses but those are not enough if I'm turning someone I'd never want to be. Thank you for the great video and also I'm proud of those people who acknowledged these traits and are working on them to become a better person. 💓
Projection is our ego trying to protect a tired heart. Nobody is perfect, if you don't make mistakes you will never learn the lesson 💕
@@sarahpovey7348 I can't agree with you more.
Realising and accepting our faults is the first essential step towards becoming better. No one on this planet is flawless. There’s no such thing. It’s difficult, because as humans we are hard wired to want to be accepted and be part of a group, even one’s that are toxic. It’s tough to cut people out of your life and move on, but we only get one life, and it may be over sooner than we hope. I’ve made it my life’s goal to do what makes me happy so long as I’m not harming other good people
Congrats
let me help you rephrase, "i think i am becoming bitcgayh"
This was genuinely super important for me to hear. I thought I was toxic in different areas, and now I'm really learning where I'm actually being toxic. Mainly possessiveness and demeaning others accomplishment.
This is a super important video and I'm really interested to see where this revelation will put me.
To anyone who watched it till the end and really checked in with themselves: you are a gift to this mankind
Thanks, it was only five minutes.
Thanks
thanks, i've just got to improve in owning up to my mistakes, (which is common imo) i can't seem to apply any of the other traits to myself
growing up around substance, verbal, emotional & physical abuse it just seemed to be the “norm” to me. i was smart enough to know that being physically abusive wasn’t what i wanted to grow up to be, but somehow i became the one that got abused instead & the term “toxic” wasn’t really a thing nor was i privy to it. but after so many toxic situations i then realized that i was the toxic one this time around.. but i’ve been trying hard to right my wrongs, cause a toxic person isn’t who i am nor wanna be.
I always got jealous of my friends because they always hang out together and stuff. But friend (A) was my favourite and I didn’t want anyone get close to her and this video, I really found it helpful ❤
Man takes delights in challenges
Mostly when I am jealous or possessive It's mostly because I am insecure and that I have issues with people abandoning me, and I cannot bare to lose that person, But it's something I need to work on. Thank you for opening my eyes
Yup me too...i have a online friend and whenver they talk to soemoene in other groups...i feel so strange and weird...and I compare how they talk to me and others.. and then I get insecure and I have remove myself from seeing them interacting to others any further to stop myself from comparing and such...and then I think I am not a better friend to my online friend..and sometimes ignore them...😔...this pattern is so prevalent in all my friendship
@@yuiitodoro7791 I UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING MATE. ITS UPSETTING. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS FOR SURE.
@@yesmthatguy4428 yup! We have to...,💕
@@yuiitodoro7791 i have issues like that as well, mostly because I can’t keep up with much of anything anymore, and it’s always my fault if they do go to someone else, and it makes me sad and jealous, I understand how you feel, your feelings are justified, all I can say now is that I wish you the best of luck with your friendships
@@セラフィナ I hope we both find a healthy way to deal with this💕
I was in a relationship for years and by the end I was so worried I was toxic and ruining the life of the person I was with ended up hating myself so much and seeing myself as I was told I acted as a toxic, childish, selfish and horrible person. Now that I am out of the relationship and trying to be a better person I am discovering that while I am not perfect I was not as toxic as I thought and the person I was with was unbelievably controlling, possessive and generally unpleasant.
I feel so free and light and like I can go back to enjoying simple day to day things without feeling guilty, I can see friends without feeling like I am doing something to hurt the person that was in my life. I can sleep when I want, eat when I want and watch what I want without being yelled at or without someone trying to emotionally bend you to their wants.
It broke my heart because I love her so much ... but I am free to be myself again and it feels so nice.
@@ihatelols embrace yourself. Make the most of yourself. Love yourself.
I am now the most mentally healthy I have been in about 10 years. I'm doing the gym going out and doing things I never thought I would like joining and improv group starting a reforesting project and just enjoying life.
I hope that you can find happiness and wellness in yourself for yourself my friend. I wish you all the best for the future and that you heal well.
@@ihatelols many thanks for the well wishes. But remember trust is like a muscle let it go floppy and soft and you may never trust again. You don't need to be moving in with anyone or any of that but don't let yourself miss out on meeting people and maybe having a bit of intimacy.
@@ihatelols that is amazing to hear! Keep it up and keep yourself well 🙂
i can relate to what you mean.
i was in a toxic relationship with my ex who always made me second guess myself and who would often make me feel terrible for wanting to talk to her while she would ignore me and talk to others (and for the most part, drip feed me attention so i would be attentive to her notifications)
I'll admit, my mistakes/errors were that i turned to be quite codependent on her and i let her defy me for who i was but at the same time, it almost feels like it's my fault that i deserved what i got in the end (being cheated on) because i know that if i understood social cues better and wasn't as extremely codependent on her (i'm not trying to make excuses here, but for the most part my codependency came from the fact that she was the only person at the time who treated me better compared to my parents, etc) then maybe it wouldn't have happened. or maybe yet, i shouldn't have looked through her following page out of dumb curiosity during that day to find out she was cheating on me with her "friend" from work. then maybe i wouldn't have dealt with what i did.
i'm sorry for the long vent, it just sometimes has me feeling upset if wether or not i was the toxic person, and i'm not even sure anymore. my parents, my sister, my ex, they all make me second guess my actions as if wether or not i'm truly in the right or if i'm just a toxic person like my dad?
@@Windermed bless your socks. It sounds like you had a rough time. It is easy to fall in love with people who are not good for us.
I would suggest learning to treat yourself better than you were treated by your parents. Love yourself love who you are then you can love others.
In my experience from seeing it in others and seeing in myself. Usually one person may be toxic but soon the other person also starts showing toxic traits. It's like it's infectious. You need to accept that maybe you were not at the top of your game during that relationship and figure out how best to work on the parts of yourself you feel let you down. Only by working to improve ourselves can we grow and avoid repeating the traps of life.
I am so happy this video exists. I personally got aware of my own toxic traits a while ago, and have ever since worked actively to improve myself. And it's really showing results. I have discussed this and reflected enough to know that I've never been very bad. But I have prohibited my toxic traits of getting any worse. Now, everything around me is more peaceful 💕
Thank you so much Pshych2Go, your channel helped me get rid of one of my toxic friends, after watching this video I realised my "friend" hit the criteria perfectly and watching this made me let go of them. I tried helping them and it sadly didn't work out but watching your videos makes me feel better about loosing a friend of many years. THANK YOU, for helping possibly millions of people. Carry on being amazing!
I think my worst trait is I become sad when i see a significant other or friend having fun with their family because unfortunately I don't have one. I don't like pushing my feelings onto others so when I'm depressed or speaking less they don't know why I don't know how to explain to them that I'm jealous they have a family it just seems pretentious or rude so I rather just not say anything at all.
If you don't have a family or if your family is toxic, seeing a "happy" family can definitely be triggering, you're not alone here
WELL I SECOND THAT. I USUALLY DONT GET TRIGGERED BY THOSE WHO ARE HAPPY ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR FAMILY BUT I DO GET UPSET MOST OF THESE TIMES. PLUS IF MY BESTFRIEND IS IN A DIFFERENT COMPANY OR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE UPSET I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I NEVER LET THEM KNOW EVEN BY A SINGLE CHANCE.
Love love love the fact that Shigure* is in the thumbnail as the prime example of toxicity, perfect👍 (Great n informational video as always btw :D)
Iʼm pretty sure thatʼs Shigure. As a character who cares about what he wants above all else, he fits the criteria.
Def shigure but she should've been in here too 😭
That's Shigure not Akito
@@qwertypoi80 Oops, you're right, thanks for letting me know 😅
I always thought I had toxic friends, which was true because my friends would always call up my flaws and call them "Sarcasm & dark humor or joke" I had less self-confidence than before. But as time passed I realized I became a toxic person and my friends were becoming non-toxic little by little, I have had this very over-competitive behavior since I was a child because I always felt like I'm left behind by others.
Thank you for enlightening me. I am aware I can be toxic, but I realized that I am a human who is unlearning and learning how to navigate my life. Your videos always show up right on time, and I couldn't be happier. Thank you to the team behind this channel for every thing you do, I always end up being educated without feeling judged after watching your videos.
Oh my god..... Ive done all of these except of denying my mistakes. This video has helped me realized how bad of a friend, sibling, and partner I am being.
But inside you're a good person cause you just self-reflected (:>✨️💖
I’ve either had or have all of these. I usually don’t act on them, but when I do, it’s to help me and/or someone else climb higher, they’re happy, and I have a new goal to achieve. I won’t downplay their achievements (even though they sometimes feel like me or my team could’ve won but luck wasn’t on our side) but I sure as hell will try to one-up them. My competitiveness has gotten me through a lot, and I’m not planning on giving up this trait soon (I had like a perfect 100% streak on exams going with science back in the 4th grade cause of this).
I do get jealous a lot but I try and keep it under control to the point it's unhealthy for myself but at least I'm not hurting others.
I just try and make sure I don't openly state that it makes me jealous or upset when my friends hang out with other people.
I've struggled with this for as long as I can remember and I find it's tied in with the fact I have struggled with social anxiety disorder for my whole life. It's hard for me to make friends and takes a long long time to feel comfortable around them so when my friends start hanging out with other people I avoid them because I don't know that person and I feel like they're taking my friend away from me and sometimes I feel like I'm not a good friend and they have favorites.
Honestly it's just so painful and I struggle with this even to this MOMENT and it's so annoying sometimes I think it's just not worth it to make friends at all.
Jealousy is a teacher. It tells you a lot about your desires and actually does not have to do that much with other people. You are seeing something you desire yourself, if you take that insight and let it motivate you to persue that desire the jealousy fades like snow under the sun.
I think it is very good and admirable that you discovered the meaning behind your jealousy, because it could be the key to overcoming your anxiety.
I don't know your friends, but if they are trustworthy and "true friends", I would highly encourage your to talk with them about your fears.
If you tell them that you have problems making friends and are afraid of loosing those that you feel comfortable around, I'm sure no one will pick this up in a wrong way and it could potentially change a lot in your friendship
Social anxiety sucks. Exposure therapy helps and believe me (at least in my experience) as you get older you will be FORCED to break your comfort zones. The world loves extroverts, introverts get squashed or ignored generally.
Understand all sadness generally is linked to a feeling of loss but friendship IS a possession that is mutual but not exclusive. Being possessive about a friend is likely to encourage the loss you fear where being happy around them and letting them BE them is the essence of a good friendship. You would not appreciate if your friend forced you to interact with the new friends that they are making (although it might actually be good for you)? Ditto you don't get to choose they make no new friends. They own you as much as you own them. It is a bond that is supposed to be built on trust with friendship. You need to learn to TRUST your friends. If you feel the friendship slipping then organise a time to catch up with them later when its just you two, just don't monopolise their time because that will breed resentment as well as that is a form of control.
Having no friends at all is to lose before you ever played. This is not good for you, humans are social animals. Even those with social anxiety seek others to interact with. The idea that you can't feel loss if you never even had anything to lose in the first place is to make a life so valueless that nothing can be taken and so completely hollow and empty. Imagine an apartment with no couch, no TV, concrete for the flooring, exposed brick for the walls, no sinks or fittings. Nothing but walls and a roof. Does it feel liveable?
1. Don't ignore because that is unfriendly.
2. Have trust that they have your back, you lose nothing if they have someone else's back unless that someone else is a direct rival of you.
3. Set up times to catch up if you feel the friendship slipping and you can't handle being around the new people.
4. Don't be greedy of your friends time.
oh my god im not alone.
Do you go to therapy? This is very treatable and you can get a much better life by building a better relationship with yourself. Its very hard I struggled with similar feelings for so long.
Before I watch the video, I can already see a lot of stuff coming.
I'm generally an extremely chill and upbeat person, I never ever stress out even a little bit and I'm basically happy all the time.
But what I've been observing in myself lately is that I get jealous extremely fast, which makes it very hard to be happy for people I like.
If a friend of mine posts pics of himself being in the gym, instead of being proud on him, I label his as a show off, because I myself don't actively exercise.
If someone gets a better grade than me even though I thought I would be better, I come up with stuff like "The teacher just likes xyz more than me" instead of congratulating them.
As someone who always paid close attention to who I was and want to be, it's super frustrating to face all the 'jealousy and wanting to be the best' issues and although I like myself a lot, it often feels like my whole confidence, self love and competitive mindset against others is just me trying to cover up huge insecurities that I hoped I'd never have to face again.
I guess this comment is just me venting and discovering myself in the process, but still thanks if you read this far!
Its great you are self-aware and you are actively try developing yourself. Im the same I monitor myself and analyze why this or that happens in me. Sometimes its a hard period when you loose a bit of self-esteem.
Same here. I've noticed it alot more now that I'm 22 vs when i was in high school. It's essentially feeling like a second puberty almost. Like I guess your body has one and then your mind has one to catchup? Hey, life sciences was my subjects in school. Psychology ain't my field! If there's a better way to explain this I'd sure love to have it!!!
I have 2 out of 6. I'm trying to better understand those 2 traits so I can be a better version of myself. Thanks a lot for the information! 😊
The “do you always feel like drama follows you everywhere you go” question really resonated with me. A long time ago, I used to either get into fights online or defended myself from hate and never admitted fully that I was in the wrong. Now, I try everything in my power to avoid people attacking me and criticizing me. Lately, I’ve been finding it very hard because I have certain opinions on things and like to share them because I want to be open towards others. A few people have been calling me ‘phobic’ and other shaming names, without even hearing what I had to say. I try so hard to empathize with others and see things from their point of view, and of course politely saying I disagree with certain things, but some of these people refuse to see my views on things and assume I’m this terrible person without even letting me explain myself, even though ITS JUST MY OPINION! It’s exhausting and tiring having people like this who comment on my posts. I know that my opinions are a little unpopular, but the least they could do is hear me out before judging me. I have completely changed as a person and got rid of all of my toxic tendencies once I started college. Why is it so hard for me to communicate with others?
...because many people do not want to communicate?
“Phobic” lol dead giveaway for either a homophobe or an islamophobe.
maybe stop being a crappy human being
I think there's an important aspect to the argumentative point. I was in a relationship where my me and my bf would have a fight about something, come to an agreement for the future, and he would never do his part of the agreement. This lead to us fighting the same fight consistently and constantly. It also lead to him convincing me I was too argumentative and that I "looked for fights". Only later, through therapy and speaking to my friends did I realise what patterns on his side of the deal caused our fights.
omg thank you for the jealousy and possessiveness part, I was wondering why for quite a while now I've been feeling jealous when my friend hung out with someone else the same way I do but at least I know now that my friendship with her isn't any less important than before. Thank you so much for helping me understand!
1 sign you are dehumanizing people.
1) You called them toxic.
Good Job
👍 10/10 Hypocrisy achieved.
Thank you for making a content like this, because of this video I realize that I'm a toxic person for my partner, my friend, and my co worker's. I promise i will do better for all the person I love. Thank you so much
You’re awesome. I really need help I was told by my bf that I was toxic to him. I never even imagined to hurt him but I think if he felt like I was toxic to him that must be true and I must have not reflect on myself a lot. Idk what to do
this is a big relief because lately i feel like my friends trust me less than before and i was afraid if i'm being toxic with them or my feelings are getting out of control but after watching this video i was the opposite of it soo i'm kinda happy abt it
*TO EVERYONE WHO FIND THIS EARLY*
As Benjamin Franklin once said, “failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” Without clearly defined goals to work towards, we’re all just drifting in the ocean.
I Love You...😘
I'm so glad that I'm not relate to any of these signs. I almost thought of myself that I'm a toxic person for some reason. After watching this, I think I noticed one of my classmates who is toxic and has all of these signs. This video opens my eyes a lot. Thank you so much
Everyone is jealous how I can get these paid games for free without getting viruses the answer is:STEAMUNLCOKED OR REPACK GAMES
Thanks a lot! I swear I was starting to become a bit toxic cause of student life and working for making youtube content and your video dropped at the perfect time.
It's hardest when you realize it's a family trait.
And the choice is then yours to keep bearing that trait or break it and find a better trait.
0:00 intro
0:37 1、you're argumentative
1:07 2、you never own up to mistakes
1:49 3、you can't seem to avoid drama
2:26 4、you are jealous and possessive
3:00 5、you are overly competitive
3:36 6、you are extremely critical of others
4:16 conclusion
4:51 outro
It's weird because, I feel like personally, my automatic response is "Yeah I probably am like that" when listening to the different signs. But to others who are also feeling this way, take into account external factors as well. Maybe there are things that were out of your control, that made you feel or behave in a certain way. It's not an excuse, but it's definitely something to take into consideration when trying to decide whether YOU, YOURSELF, are a toxic person as a standalone. It doesn't hurt to ask the people you trust, what the tea is about you.
These videos are always important to me because I want to be a great friend and daughter and all around person that makes people feel better.
I’d have to say my toxic traits are getting down on myself when I make a mistake and someone points it out, and sometimes not keeping to my word when I say I need a break because my anger is rising (constantly making calm conversation and then saying I need a break again and again
I have to admit all these traits points back to me. I think these are some of the reasons why my partner wants space. Toxic traits leads to bad communication. Bad communication leads to unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationship leads to break up 💔.
I have always been that person that ends up wanting to talk simply because I like debating but it ends up being argumentative instead. Not only this, but I think that jealousy thing slowly crept up in my interactions for many years, too. Recently, though I've tried my best to work on these things, I also have been alerted to the fact that because I am negative and complain about a lot of things, even though I may feel like I'm just discussing them, solutions, news and issues, etc, and am in a good mood otherwise, it drags other people down even if that isn't my intent. I come off really privileged too when I am in a position where while I may get worked up about things, it's kinda performative to just vent like that if the people around me are more affected by said thing or not in a position to do anything about it even more than I am. It's really eye opening because I've always considered myself empathetic and I try to be there for my friends, but I fall to my emotions before thinking so often it kind of invisibly chips away at a friendship until someone says something to you. So it's always good to do a self check. Thank you for these.
Omg you sound just like me aside of the jealousy thing.
I was told I've got narcissistic traits for a while now, and it would annoy me every time. For a fair amount of time, I didn't realize things about myself until now, I'm trying to change, but as much as I've overcome many things, there's still some things in me that I still don't see yet. I'm an extrovert, but I've been wanting to stop talking to people to avoid hurting anyone and I'm telling you, it's really hard.
Watching this video made me realize I'm not toxic but the person whom made me leave all my friends and doesn't want me to go to college to pursue my dream career is very much toxic. It hurts a lot because I realize how long I allowed myself to be controlled by this person ONLINE (for nearly 4 years) and how long I let them isolate me from any social interaction. I tried talking to them about it but they completely deny that they have a controlling behavior. when they literally wanted to control how long and when I could talk to my mother, yes my own mother lol.
I met this person when I was 11 and I feel so so so dumb I never saw the red flags when there was so many. they lied to me constantly and got angry if i laughed or said I love you, and there was so many death threats. even now when im 15 they still make comments about how if they were here in real life they'd hurt me, I can't believe after everything this is the video that makes me fully realize what is happening and what will happen if i continue to talk to this person.
I have severe social anxiety because I've never went to school or had a real life friend group and that's fine. but this social anxiety causes me to throw up or feel extremely nauseous in public or talking to a stranger and it's very embarrassing. but I still try to go out and socialize even if its just going to the store on my own. but I haven't done this in a long time because this person in my life doesn't want me to go and socialize or do things. I tested them by lying and saying I made this female friend at the park, I was expecting them to feel happy for me that I finally made my first friend but they were extremely mad at me and about to leave me for good, honestly I shouldn't have told them that it was a lie, I should've let them leave for good.
it feels like it'll be very hard trying to leave this person. specifically because they were my only friend and they lie and manipulate their words so much that i feel like im in the wrong. but mostly because they made it to where they were my only shoulder to cry on, the only one i could depend on. which now i know that isolating someone you love is the worst thing you can do. but I know I can pull through with leaving this person for good. even if I'm afraid of them coming over to my house, it won't stop me from leaving.
I also realize I'm now more likely than not venting in the comment section. but this really helps, so thank you to whomever reads this lol
You should not talk to strangers kid
Hello I hope your healing now ❤️♥️prayers for you 💜
I had some traits like this and I was always told about them by my old friends and my sister. What I’ve found out know though, is that they always put themselves as the victim and always made themselves seem amazing. I used to only want them to be focused on me, I found out it was because they constantly ignored me so when I got their attention, I wanted to keep it so they wouldn’t ignore me the rest of the day (they also told me I’m not as important to them as their best friends ever directly to my face like no shit). I would always find myself getting in arguments. I found out though that it partially had to do with my mental state at the time as well as the constant drama these people had. I couldn’t avoid drama when I was friends with these people but now, I can completely avoid it. I used to like it because people would finally listen to me and my opinions. I’m very competitive. I can’t be happy for others being successful. I do believe some of it is because of my sister constantly overachieving. For anybody thinking you have a bunch of these traits, please think why. I thought I was a bad person but it was the people around me.
I would love to personally know you! I would definitely always be focused on you! I would love to give you my complete attention always! You seem like a wonderful and sweet person...and they way you talk....Its definitely everyone else and not you!
Oh my goodness. Please tell your sis go get a life. Please tell it to her face or I will legit find her in her nightmares LOL!
This describes my friend perfectly
Exactly
I will stop being overly argumentative, I will own up to my mistakes and I will stop being judgmental of others. I will stop my self-righteous attitude and hopefully will be healthy and attract healthier friends 🙏
I've been told so many times by someone very important in my life that everything was always my fault and was heavily criticized for years. I was made to believe I was the the toxic one and things got so confusing and I believed it. I was always trying to defend myself by saying things like, "No I didn't mean it like that", and walking on eggshells all the time for fear I'd somehow do something wrong and get in trouble, but still believed something was wrong with me, I just was wrong, everything about me. I'm starting to see the truth now, it took ten years. :(
Well... toxic moments are inevitable, since everyone is going to have bad days. It's easy to make mistakes, but hard to know when you've made one. In general, remembering to treat others how you want to be treated really helps prevent toxic moments when you're tired / not feeling well! ☀️
Loving the way you’ve been using Anime illustrations in your videos! 🥰
Also, it’s SHIGURE in the thumbnail!!! Where’s my Fruits Basket fandom at!?🥺😭
I definitely am cracking a lot of jokes that can make others feel worse about themselves. It's definitely a fine line of poking fun and actually hurting someone and it is hard to notice the difference in the moment for sure. Thanks for another great video and this one especially I find in today's society is needed. So once again thanks for all the great videos you all post!
Behaviours are learned and thankfully unlearned with enlightenment. I found this helpful personally. I don't think people who display "toxic" behaviours are aware of them and their impact on others. Worth remembering that people can display "toxic" behaviours without being toxic.
Personally, I struggle the most with owning up to my mistakes sometimes. It's hard to admit that you were wrong sometimes and I know it's because of my ego. Being argumentative is also a problem for me too. I don't think I'm as argumentative now as I was before, but I think that's something I still need to work on. When I was a kid and teenager, I used to be extremely critical of others, but nowadays I'm no longer that way thankfully. But as for all the other signs, I have never experienced any of them.
I feel like I can be a bit competitive and I never like to admit when I’m wrong. Thanks for the video I’ll work on these 💖
This was very helpful thank you!
Since I started a new semester in college I've been becoming more insecure, and anxious about everything, and sadly I'm a very jealous person, especially with my girlfriends because it is harsh for to me make new friends and it looks like it was so easy for them. I feel so lonely sometimes when I see them hanging out with many people I don't know. But yeah, now I realize I need to change some toxic behaviors for my mental health.
I noticed myself becoming toxic in my last relationship. I’m so glad I got out before it and I got worse
Me before watching this: I feel like a bad person
Me after watching this: Wow I'm an awful person
But this has opened my eyes, and I now have some insight on how to be better. Thank you Psych
Same
I thought i was a good person 😭 i turned out to be toxic
Sarcastic
@@H.M5784????
I kind of expected this, I don’t act In anyway bad, but my mind creates horrible thoughts which can also involve ruining peoples lives, I never act in this way but I hate these thoughts I’m definitely toxic, I just don’t act toxic, I don’t want to be toxic, and it’s almost like a separate person inside of me, if anyone knows what’s wrong with me and why I ac t this way then I’d hope you could help
Thank you I didn't realize that I was doing the last three and you just saved my relationship with my close friends i really needed this.
"No need to feel down on yourself", well of course I am going to. There's no way I could be okay with the notion of me being bad or toxic.
That being said, I THINK so far I have done a good job at checking myself for any bad/toxic traits. I do feel competitive about most things if not everything, but I agree with the notion that there's enough space for everyone to be a winner even if the common belief is the opposite.
I'm currently healing from a trauma that I had to go through last year and I have to admit that alot of habits or strategies I developed last year and now getting in my way and are toxic to both me and others. But it's actually so hard to let them go when, back then, they were neccesary for me to stay sane. I was basically in survival mode and these behaviours made me feel under control and helped me to stay alive during that time. Now, slowly, I need to let them go, in order to 1) let the trauma go and finally move on and 2) be a better person for me and my loved ones. I'm trying, but it's very difficult for me still. I also work with a therapist.
For everyone about to change themselves to the better : I'm proud of you, hang on and keep up the good work
Omg, I'm so glad I watched this video!! I've noticed upon watching this when it was released that these were my personality traits when I was younger, and that a few stuck with me over the years. But recently, improving myself and rewatching this, I've found that I've subverted a lot of those traits!! Thank goodness;;; 🥰
I appreciate the help, Psych2Go!
I struggle a lot with being jealous and possessive with others, but I never know how to solve it, cause I try to not put it down on them, cause that would be toxic, obviously, so I end up eating it up and not talking about it to anyone, cause they wouldn't understand what I was even making a fuss about. But I can't manage to get rid of this trait, cause it seems so hard-wired into my personality due to long-term establishment.
cuz we're just done that way, to the hell this sh!t. We are WAY more sensible and loving than the average person, and thats the price. And I dont find anything wrong with it, I'd like to have a partner like that too. So yeah, F everyone
@randompasserbyontheinterne9195 I think the first step is to acknowledge your own flaws and that you wanna work on them. That already makes you less toxic. In a way everybody has toxic flaws and people will be understanding that you can't cut your traits of instantly (and if they aren't, they are toxic themselves). I guess it's not possible to completely get rid of toxic traits, but it probably is possible to monitor them, are aware of them, communicate such traits openly with those affected by it and try to keep them low by reasoning. For example, I don't know how but with one of my best friends I never feel jealous or possessive (while I do with other close friends quite a lot), because she's been left just as much as I was and she regularly reminds me of how much I mean to her. So even though I know that I am "only" her second-best friend and that stings sometimes, I can give her freedom, cause I know she doesn't just drop me, cause she knows how it feels.
@@mlgmonsterxhydra1699 Maybe you're right that we're "just done that way", but that doesn't mean we shouldn't work on ourselves. In the end past trauma might play a bigger role in it than you think. And the attitude of "F everyone" maybe is what even makes someone toxic. I don't say change to fit other peoples expectations. I mean, work on yourself for yourself, so you can be a healthy person. Yes, we're a lot more sensible and loving than the average person, but we also have some responsibility, to manage those feelings responsibly.
@@sarahwingert225 My partner is only mine, the end. Everyone else can just do whatever, Im not changing this, whats mine is only and solely mine. I do quite a bit of work on myself, but this is not the case at all, and Im fine with it, every girl my age around has onlyfans, sugar daddys and all that kinda stuff, so yeah, f everyone
@@mlgmonsterxhydra1699 Your partner isn't only "yours". In a romantic way, yes they should be loyal. But a person is allowed to have friends and be with family. Their time isn't only yours, because they're also their own person. You can't own anyone, because people's lives change, leading others to come and go. And that's okay. If a partner ends up cheating on you, don't feel as if it were your fault. They didn't cheat because you weren't keeping a good enough eye on them, they cheated because they were not committed and that's something you can't change about them, they have to make that change themselves. In order for a relationship to work, you need to trust your partner and not feel the need to control them.
i like how she said you can better yourself from being a toxic person
This honestly helped. I kinda just realized that I can kinda relate to number 6. I do it without noticing too. Now I can remember to slow down in the moment to make sure I can word everything correctly instead of making it sound rude, even if it's a accident
So so important to self reflect! We will only become better 😊
I’m definitely a toxic person. I have been for as long as I can remember, back when I was in grade school, I remember I was always so possessive over my best friends. And it was like each time I had a best friend, they’d become my new victim to my toxicity. I’ve had in total 4 best friends throughout my years until now (junior in HS) that I met over the years of both grade school and middle school. These three people were friends who I was overbearing towards and very clingy to. I remember them so well, because at the time when they were my victim of toxicity, they were my everything and I would only care about them, but because I’d only care about them, I’d also hurt them the most. Growing up, I realized my possessiveness towards people was harmful, and if anything made them distant with me. So as soon as I entered high school, I tried changing that. I believe in a way, I improved myself a LOT when it comes to this. But recently, I’ve found two more people that are both equally very, very important to me. To the point these two are the only two I care about love and cherish. I have so many friends, but I have a tier of importance in my mind, and these two are the only ones who I actually care about. Which is toxic. I’m very attached to them, emotionally dependent and get separation anxiety when they aren’t with me. I feel the need to see them everyday and im always holding their hands, cuddling with them or hugging them.
But im 100000% aware of my actions and how severe my possessiveness is becoming again. Right when it got better, it got worse again, because I found people who I once again, cherish unconditionally, to a point of needing to be there with them 24/7, afraid that if I’m not, they’ll somehow leave. I even think quite frequently about the scenarios of if they would suddenly pass away, or what will happen once we all graduate high school. And the probability of them dying right now seems closer because a friend of ours did pass away last year in a car crash. She was a senior, just started her senior year. Two other seniors died with her, along with her dad, and her little sister was hospitalized but survived. So the paranoia kicks in. How hopeless I’d be without these two.
I do get very jealous easily, but I wouldn’t say I’m mean to my two best friends in any way. Back when I was younger, I carelessly said things hurtful to my best friends. But being older, hurting the two people I love most is the last thing I want to do, so the smallest thing off with them I notice, if they don’t feel well, I immediately notice. If they feel uncomfortable, I notice. If they’re down, I notice. If anything changes at all, I notice. I remember what they say, what they like, what they don’t like. I take into consideration every single detail so that I can do what’s best for them, because I love them so much. But it’s toxic. All of this is toxic, and I know that. I try to fix it, improve, I said I’ll stop being toxic, and I really have changed for the better. But things seem to be going back to how they used to be. It’s not like I don’t have the help I need. I have a psychiatrist, I have prescribed medication, I have a loving family with no issues. I have great friends, I have a great school, I have great grades, great everything. And yet someone who’s as privileged as me still can’t fix my messed up thought process. It’s the least I could do, right? But I can’t, even though I’m trying to. I basically just vented my entire issues, because why not. But I really do hope I can stop being so jealous and possessive all the time, because if I don’t, they won’t leave me, but I’ll leave them. Because I get tired of them and find new people.
I am just gonna copy this for no reason
Before watching this video, I feel like "what if I came out toxic" But after watching this, I can bet that I'm not toxic and nor too kind. I used to be extremely kind person in my childhood and I always faced disrespect from everyone. My family used to bully me and beat me since last year (when I was 18), bullied and ignored by my own so called best friends and being around toxic people from my childhood, 99% of day goes into anxiety and depression. I guess still I'm not a toxic person as shown in this video, I want to evolve myself and not convert into toxic person. Even today if someone is good to me, then I become ready to do anything for them but this world is just fucked up with toxic and selfish people !!
Exactly and I faced something similiar as well tbh 😢
So sorry you were abused and failed by the ones who should have given you love. You seem to have a good attitude morally, I bet you are doing your best to recover from this trauma.
@@forray_forever yeah it’s so sad
My Ex was a Narcissist, and since we split I have been told I am a toxic person, even when we were together I was getting told, and so I got it into my head that I truly was, and now after coming across this video i'm realising that the things that are listed I am the complete opposite of, whereas she IS everything on this list, I had no idea of the signs from the abuse I was getting until friends and family sat me down and told me that I needed to look from an outside prospective, I still get the abuse to this day but I am truly happier
1:06 this shot is so funny ! top tier meme format potential
This was so fun to watch, I love the artstyle and effort put into the episode. Each character has their own personality, and I can't help but smile at their designs lol
Sharing with my loved one because he DEFINITELY does a couple of these!! Thank you for the amazing content ❤️
I'm so happy I got out of my last relationship... So many of these were clear as day, looking back.
The illustrations were cracking me up because I definitely could see myself being this way at times in the past and I'm glad I can laugh at myself now about it. Thank you so much for your content!!
Glad you like it! Yeah the animator put a lot of thoughts in this project.
@@Psych2go they did an incredible job! It was really adorable.
I do like to watch drama unfold, but only because I want to see how they handle it. When someone does something, all I want to know is “What’s going through your mind when you do that?” But I do find that a general trait of my Zodiac sign. I don’t believe that the stars your born under can change tour life, but it’s a side note for anyone who does. At the end of the day, I find that i’m not toxic.
I watched this video cause I've been doubting myself after falling out with my best friend. It's funny how every one of these traits appiled to her. At first I watched this to know what habits I need to change to make me a better person and know how to not hurt the people I love. I knew I wasn't the problem since almost everyone left my best friend after I cut ties with her, but I still sometimes feel like I had something to do with it. I'm not completely innocent though. I do go too far with my jokes, it might even feel like an insult to some people. I've known this for some time and I've been doing my best to fix it! I understand that even if my jokes didn't have bad intentions, it might still hurt others. I stopped making critizing jokes and my friends seem way more comfortable with me! Everyone has toxic traits no one is perfect! But as long as you know about your toxic traits and most importantly stop doing them you can be a better person.In the end I cut ties with my best friend cause she wouldn't change. I ask her to change so many times but she never did.While I changed everything she wasn't happy about.idk if she's still a toxic person now but I truly hope that she'll learn to change.
heyy can we talk abt this ? i mean i myself left two of the most closest people in my life and i feel maybe i would get some understanding if i had talked to people who have been through this
@@harshitarameshdhanak4384
Sure I’m more than happy to listen :)
I have all the traits, especially the argumentative one and competitive one. Its not like I have a choice. My narcisstic parents have raised me to always be the topper in class, and they themselves tell me that I HAVE to beat this one girl in class. I was never able to, but I cant help always looking at her high scores and resenting her in my mind. As for being argumentative, I cant help it either when I have to silently stand there while my parents announce every single of my faults and tell me theyre "encouraging" me to do better. So I relieve myself at school by arguing with teachers, students, random kid in the hall etc. Infact Im an entp!
My parents have raised me to be a toxic human being? Im still 16 but I wonder how I'll survive in society in the future 😔
Your vdieos are amazing and are so helpful for the community we appreciate all your love and support ❤️
Watching this video, I realised how toxic I used to be 2 years ago.. I had lost some friends and I was wondering why, and now I just realised that, I had been toxic to them without realising.. This made me change and i have less toxic traits than i used to, but unfortunately, i still find myself toxic sometimes.. Only difference is that im trying to keep that toxicity to myself, but I still know that its bad and I feel really guilty for having toxic thoughts, even of its very occasionally. Though just like said in the video, if you realise that you are toxic you can change if you try and that's what I'm still trying to do.
It's funny because 3 feels true but I'm hesitant on whether it's me and I say this because the drama typically stems from my family, and at one point my ex, but ever since I cut ties to both due to the toxic nature there's been an increasing calm around me. No big dramatic shifts, no deep seated worries; it's not always easy but nowadays the storm around me seems to have quelled considerably so I think it was more those around me rather than me per se. But as I said I could be wrong ❤
HAPPY HEALING, BE PROUD OF URSELF FOR FINALLING LEARNING ABOUT THIS AND ACTUALLY PUTTING IN THE WORK TO CHANGE
Here shouting out to all people who found themselves toxic person!!!
HEY!!!
Congratulations! You have took a great step in understanding yourself
It’s alright if you are a toxic person, it’s alright if you feel guilty about it
As long as you are having a heart to change, as long as you are trying, there is a hope to become a better person. And I ensure you although it may take a long time, you will eventually become a better person
That’s what distinguishes you and “Serious Toxic Person” !!!
I have seen many toxic person, and I must say “knowing” and “not knowing”, “trying” and “not trying” makes a great great great difference
If you are trying to improve, I sincerely with my full heart congratulate you and wish you all the best
I relate to 4...i think it's about my insecurities
Like,i'm always comparing myself to others
I know it's wrong but i cannot escape the feeling of being put apart :( and thats hurt a lot
I'm fully toxic, everything you covered is true to me. Now its time to change. Thanks btw!
A lot of the time we tend to think we’re never at fault, even though sometimes we are. Thank you Psych2Go for reminding us that it’s important to improve ourselves so we can better our lives and the ones around us ❤
I never realized how much of a terrible person I am. People always tell me I'm not a bad person, but I align with every single one of these traits
You recognize it, now work on it 🙂
I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know if I fit any of those perfectly but this is definitely something I should reflect on. Lately I’ve started being more introspective and I wanna make sure I’m being a good friend so this was a pretty valuable video for me! Thanks!
there are limits to all of these where you can do them and still not be "toxic." i agree that these are toxic traits and i personally have 5 out of the 6, but when acting on any of them, i make sure to explain why i feel that way to those involved. i love arguments, because there will always be something to argue about, but when i argue, it's in defense of my friends and i never put myself first in arguments. it's so hard to realize your own mistakes assuming you don't pay attention to them, but it's so easy to monitor the way you act.
I’m none of those 6 things thankfully and proudly. I’m inexperienced when it comes to those toxic things because I’ve had (still have) only 1 friend that understands me 99% of the time. Back in my school days I was one of those student that would care less of trying to gain attention hehe. This is why I always self love and self focus without distractions from relationships and I’ve done researches on how to avoid relationships in my 20 plus years of living. Not everyone can make you happy, sometimes you just have to create happiness for yourself and the things around, like scented candles or other physical objects that can make your home filled with good odors and calm music playing in the background 🎶🕯🍁