Wow… As someone who was diagnosed in Highschool but shamefully didnt want to accept it….this hit home. It definitely has real life repercussions and does feel like a set up. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom, but we don’t have to stay there. Thank you for sharing Star puppy 💜 We totally got this 🙏🏽🤞🏽💪🏾! Seek help everyone, even if it’s not ADHD if you’re struggling reach out. There are tools and resources out there!! We all deserve a good life.
You’re not dumb, you’re not stupid, and you’re not broken. Different, yes but then again so am I . so are most people who come here so that’s OK. Hearing that you’re not this perfect person that you thought you were maybe concerning but none of us are a perfect. We’re just imperfectly ourselves. You are beautiful, you are eclectic and I mean that from a good space because so am I. There’s nothing wrong with needing to know how to adjust for your personal needs. Don’t you feel shame and don’t you feel bad . Just think that my name is star puppy and I have ADHD and let me tell you how, I get along with my day good, bad and indifferent. You got this❤
Man , I can relate! Finding out, in adulthood, that I have ADHD ( despite showing all the symptoms and people telling me that I was just being influenced by the internet because now "everyone has it") was actually one of my happiest moments, funny enough. It was like all that shame I internalized from not " trying hard enough" dissipated. I can look for proper treatment, better strategy and ways to work around my weaknesses. Its a huge weight lifted off your shoulders to understand the way your brain works isn't your fault and everyone around you CAN be wrong.
This may sound odd, but when you’re diagnosed as an adult, there is a period of mourning. Mourn all the possibilities, the poor feelings about yourself, time wasted etc etc. it’s a whole whirlwind, but it ended being devastating BUT freeing cause I wasn’t broken. My first day of feeling that ‘quiet mind’ I literally held my head in my hands, laid in bed ALL DAY, and cry off and on. Whoooo freeing.
As a fellow adult diagnosed ADHDer this was so cathartic! This was the first time I’ve heard from someone who gets it. Even my most sympathetic family members don’t seem to understand that I can’t “just get it together.”
I was diagnosed a week before my 50th birthday. I am relieved, rage filled and sad. "Too many feelings for your hands to keep up with..." really resonates.
hey i just commented this but adhd and autism are very comorbid, you are mos likely audhd. they rarely go without each other so please if you can get an eval. adhd symptoms and autism symptoms are different with different criteria, autism will not give you adhd symptoms
@@user-fc2xk3uv8y I've heard that they are very comorbid, and I honestly think I have it. I can literally sit at my computer and obsessively click through the same 4 or 5 tabs for hours, and then I look up and I've literally accomplished nothing all day. That can NOT be normal.
Girl I felt this on the same level. We have such similar experiences! I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and it was quite obvious I had something as a kid a it was when my procrastination was no longer paying off I.e no longer submitting assignments that I decided to get that diagnosis asap. I felt so let down thinking about everyone who ignored all my symptoms. Years of self frustration thinking “why can I not just do this thing that I need to get done”. These spaces for us are needed to talk about things. Keep going 🙏🏾❤️
This is so real. I’m in the beginning of this process right now. A therapist told me anecdotally that she thought I had ADHD but she noted that she’s not the type of clinician that can diagnose it. I’m dealing with so much guilt and fear. What if it’s not ADHD and I’m just lazy and unmotivated? I’m so proud of you for advocating for yourself and pushing through this tough process. Thank you for sharing. ❤
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. By the way, if it turns out that you don't have ADHD, there is also something calle Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) that is exacerbated by burn out. Most people with CFS deal with a lack of motivation too. So this too could be something you might be dealing with. Stay strong and if you feel like you need to pull back from life in general, please do so.
@@bluebird4815💫✨Hey 🐦 Bluebird : Thx for bringing CFS n2 the arena . . . The repercussions of this illness are mind numbing, at best! The hardest audience in this theatre 🎭 of life will be those seated in the “Reserved” section . . . I mean the elite who possess season 🎟️ 🎫 tickets, of course, i.e., our mates, immediate family (in-house) members, our in-laws (sometimes, out-laws), the besties, and at times : we, ourselves . . . 🗣️🔊 “all ADHD, AUDHD, ME/CFS, FMS persons :: WE are not Lazy, Crazy, or Hazy 🌫️ at all ; we have mental illness and with proper care, the eccentric side of our personalities may be appreciated through perception as a unique form of multifaceted (🧠) genius.🐦Thx!💫✨
Everything. Everything. My mother doesn't believe there's something lacking with me because I was always "doing good". I had high grades, my teachers didn't have issues with me, and I didn't get into trouble. But now that I'm older, I cannot function. I can't read the things I once read, I can't get joy out of once joyful things, I no longer enjoy going to school because I feel left behind. And no matter how much I seek out help, no one believes me. But I told myself recently, no more. I want help and I'm going to get help no matter how. Thank you for this video. It came at a time where I have a lab report that's overdue by some hours and I really need to finish it, lol.
I feel like I see this conversation of mourning in autistic spaces more than ADHD ones, and it's usually framed as "I could've known all of this time" instead of "I could've managed symptoms all this time". Mourning is normal, but also understand that your value is not rooted in your ability to be productive. There isn't anything inherently wrong with you. Internalized ableism really is a beast. We are placed in a social landscape that measures our worth on what we produce and provide, and when we aren't able to fully conform to a system that wasn't built with our brains in mind, we're made to feel ashamed. Be gentle and kind to yourself as you learn more about your brain. Work with yourself so that you can do what's the best and healthiest for you. You have the support of many other neurodivergent Black girlies (including me). Mourning may be one part of it, but the journey to learning your brain can be an empowering one as well.
I completely understand. I think I find solace in the thought that knowing too soon could have shifted the scales too far to the other side. I developed a relationship to myself and others' assuming I was neurotypical and that resulted in several POSITIVE experiences too.
I felt so seen by your rawness… while I’m not sure I suffer from ADHD… since pregnancy & now going through motherhood, my anxiety and hormones have been a BATTLE. Some days, I literally am just making it minute by minute. Trying to calm myself, while also being mindful I’m responsible for a life. I’m not sure if medication is my solution but I know mental health and being in tune with my nervous system has shown me there’s much work to be done.
Society needs to be better treating people with disabilities with respect,especially BIPOC lgbtq+. The anti blackness in the disability community is concerning and out of control. Nobody shouldn't be treated less than because of a disability. I was bullied for being autistic and ADHD by kids and adults.
I'm an adult, and while I haven't been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I may have ADHD. Lately, I have been experimenting with natural supplements to help with my "busy thoughts." I tried the Olly brand, but it only worked for two days. I remember wondering if other people's minds are always so clear and peaceful. Unfortunately, I felt sad when it stopped being effective for me. It took almost a year before I tried another brand. I made sure not to get too consumed by trying different options, but I eventually found one that works well for me, and I'm now on my second bottle. I still need a proper diagnosis, and I wonder how that experience will differ from using natural supplements. I'm holding on to this "crutch" for now, but hearing your story and others like it makes me realize that it would be better to simplify my life. "What I love about my possible "ADHD" is my hyperfocus..while it's mostly turned on when I'm into something, I remember forcing myself to use this for extreme projects which had great results. I ofcourse I have to do this differently than my colleagues...I needed audio in my ears to absorb information. The tricks I learned while having possible "ADHD" can be blessing sometimes"
I hope that you're able to receive an accurate assessment. It's literally life-changing. Either way, I'm happy you relate to my journey on any level. It feels pretty specific, but there are so many people who have similar experiences, it makes me feel so much less alone.
Wow. The way that you frame your words and describe how it feels to have a different mind than the average person is so relieving. My mind races all the time. And I’ve struggled with so many things. Still am. And the guilt, shame, and resentment I have towards myself and sometimes others for not knowing soon enough. I’ve had to learn self- compassion among other things to push through the storm. I don’t have ADHD but I have OCD. Being diagnosed after all these years of fighting with my mind in the dark, made things clearer. It wasn’t until something really traumatic happened to me at 24, where I was told that I had symptoms. Things got so bad that I had to go to a mental hospital and get extensive therapy to help me work through everything that I’ve been going through. The stress and pain caused me depression, anxiety, and chronic illness. You never realize how much your mind can make such an impact on your mind and body. Feeling like something is wrong with you but not knowing exactly why is one of the worst feelings. For anyone who is struggling, you’re not alone. And don’t be afraid or give up to seeking help. It’s frustrating and exhausting but continue to advocate for yourself. It is rewarding even in slow progress. Don’t wait! Thank you for this video ❤.
I’m so glad you’re aware now and being treated . I was diagnosed at age 48 in the middle of law school .. I felt much of what you’ve expressed..Everything made sense once I started figuring out what was happening.. and there was grief. I was upset and relieved at the same time . The first time I was able to focus because of the meds .. I was like “Wow. This is what it’s like to be “regular”. Neurodivergent people : We are warriors. People can’t imagine what it’s like to be in our brains because we seem to still do well before we really embrace that there’s a problem . For me, it was literally “All my LIFE I had to FIGHT!” …Fight my own mind to focus. I’m thankful for law school because it FORCED me to seek help. I had made it through undergrad successfully but through many tears without getting diagnosed -blaming my life circumstances on why I couldn’t focus . It’s been a wild ride but thankfully, we are overcomers! 💪🏾 There are other mental health issues that go along with adhd as well… IMO, it is because it’s SUCH a great challenge to just THINK without interruption.
I am an adult and much older at that. I am currently feeling the shame, guilt and anger that no one bothered to notice. So much time has passed, so many struggles. Trying not to regret what I’ve missed out on. The grief sucks. I am not on medication, but I will start CBT. I truly hurt for the little girl/teenager/young adult…adult 2 months ago…that didn’t know and who was stigmatized and ridiculed because my brain works differentl and nobody knew. The labels are hard to get out from under. But at least I know I am NOT lazy, I’ve always known that I’m not academically stupid, but I felt other kinds of stupid for being habitually late-and lambasted for it. Missing appointments. Losing things in front of my face. This is a journey. I’m going to give myself permission to cry and hope I don’t stay in the throes of rumination. Thank you so much for this video. I’m so glad you found out and you are able to get help. Keep shining. 🌟
I am going through the same thing (black woman diagnosed as an adult who felt “different” - it manifested as anxiety and shyness in younger me). I know it’s hard to learn of something so integral to your life experiences so late. But now that you know, you’ll be more informed about how to healthily adapt. I’m still learning how to better handle living as an adult with adhd. I think it’s easier to go undiagnosed as a young girl - especially if you’re more “spacey”/ “distracted” coupled with fortunate enough to have supports that end up masking some of the issues that typically arise. (My parents were on top of me for everything and my schools growing up MADE us write in planners and check things off). So it showed I think more in the social aspects of my life (wanting to do everything and having a million and 1 hobbies that only lasted me months at a time) than academic (which I excelled at growing up thankfully). But it meant when I got to college - the struggle with executive dysfunction hit like a truck. I’m sending you hugs and positive energy. It’ll be okay even if it feels like a deluge of feelings and new information. Don’t be afraid to get more help whenever you need. Occupational therapy (“lifestyle redesign”) helped me so much. I can’t access it now due to insurance but it really helped me so much as an adult to have someone helping me dedicate time to focusing on my long term goals - since I struggle to look beyond what’s most immediately urgent. Wishing you the best
Omg i have the EXACT same experience as you. The shyness and as a kid and eveeything. People used to think im so organised but really i had to compulsively overplan and stress myself out to do what others did so easily. Now that i was left to my own devices for uni, ive been in need of serious help. Im taking a year out now because it got too much.
Thank you for being so supportive! I feel like this video has been a long time in the making. Thank goodness for my INCREDIBLE family for instilling in me so many good life habits.
I feel so seen right now. I'm not alone. Oh my GOD this has been the hardest week ever. I've cried so much. I relate to every single word you said in this video. I was JUST diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at the age of 26. All my life I thought something was wrong with me. Everything my abusive mother hated me for and beat me for were autistic and adhd traits I couldn't control. The grieving you mentioned is so REAL. I knew you always felt like a kindred spirit. Now I know another reason why. I look forward to the ADHD Diaries ❤️
Man i was recently (about a year ago) diagnosed with ADHD at 20 and it's now hitting me that the reason why i resonated with you so much is because you have ADHD too! You're right, it really is not a joke, but you're not alone in this! ❤
I know this isn't a happy occasion but I agree with what you said. We neurodivergents pick up on our own so we really should be more supportive to each other and also, not mask so much when we can.
I stopped getting your notifications and missed you, had a light bulb moment of searching for "growing my 4c hair" and here you were! This video is what I needed. I am 38 and female from the UK. Been suspecting I have adhd for about 4 years. Emotionally battled the imposter syndrome for 2 years got ignored then at my first attempt with the Dr then 2nd attempt finally got listened to and put on the wrong waiting list(7+year one) to now finally being on the one I requested. 🤞 I'll know one way or the other by or before early next year. Felt I've already been through many stages of grief because it's kinda obvious. Thanks you for being vulnerable, its cathartic to know others are on similar struggles. also vlogging is a good idea. I didn't even think of that. tried written journals but I don't know how to begin and that adds more pressure cause "what style" "what pen" "what book" "what do you write" all the what's stumping and stalling/overwhelming me. Video could be the solution.
Sis, I am right their with you. I was 36 when I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and and OCD. I've been going to therapy for almost a yr. My son has ADHD (unmedicated), and I am medicated. Everything you talked about it what I went through for years. There are some things I am still working on. You are great and amazing. Take your time. Don't rush anything.
@tifinatty She does ADHD combination diagnosed conditions. She is covering all my conditions. I get medication via specialist separate. Medication Dr. I see once a month go over symptoms my sessions, etc.
I just wanna give you a hug. I randomly came across your video. Someone very close to me has been going through mental health issues for a while and I see how hard it is for them and the way it affects life at times. One thing I know that has helped them a lot is not just working on their health physically but also spiritually by praying, reading the bible (2 Timothy 1:7 she loves meditating on this and others like it), listening to sermons and fellowshipping with others. It's given her hope during the very tough times. Saying prayers for you and sending love ❤💛💙 You've got this! Thanks for sharing
My first day of feeling that ‘quiet mind’ I literally held my head in my hands, laid in bed ALL DAY, and cry off and on. Whoooo freeing. I’ve felt every emotion you described. The way media portrays ADHD, really does it a disservice with major consequences
Oh my goodness!!! I was just thinking that you might have ADHD because when I first started watching your channel I was like " Wow, I really relate to her!" Then I've personally realized I might have ADHD and I've been thinking"Star puppy might have it too..." Then you mentioned that your parents thought you were deaf and that's literally what happened to me. My parents took me to get my ears checked when I was younger and my parents concluded that I "hear what I want to hear ". I understand how difficult it can be so here's a hug 🫂 we'll be okay ❤️
I got diagnosed last year at 23! How you’re feeling is exactly what I went through and still think about. Because I knew something wasn’t right but I never knew the answer. As I grew older, I jokingly thought it was ADHD but figured it wasn’t a joke and seriously was. I sometimes think about how different life, academics, relationships, etc… would’ve been if I had gotten put on meds earlier on or was put in some type of coping/therapy for children. It brought me relief that my self diagnoses was correct and so many things started to make sense. Occasionally, I think if who I am now is who I was supposed to be… if I had those options when I was younger or am I just now a sum of all the coping, compensating, and masking to not be told “you’re different“ or asked “why do you act like that?”, etc.., or if I hadn’t turned my symptoms into the sum of my personality. Regardless, this is a new journey for me and this is conformation of a prayer regarding this that I had a few hours ago. Despite all of the past, I’m still so grateful. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. 🌷You have many gifts. You’re talented,kind,humble, generous,interesting, & beautiful❤️. I’m beyond 65 and I always watch your videos. With your positive attitude, you will be just fine! Thank you for sharing.
I have ADHD combined. I was diagnosed around 41. I had the exact experience. Low dosage 5mg, and on day 2 I woke up and nothing was there. The world was different. I said wtf in my mind, and then the voice stopped, and nothing happened. My thoughts were, "And this is how people's minds are all the time all nilly willy? Nothing?!?!?" I think Evening 3 or 4 around 8pm is when I decided to clean my kitchen and living room. It was cluttered with boxes. I finished up at 3am. I still can't maintain all consistencies, some routines (not all), but I have random bursts of when I get stuff done. I cried, I went through all the steps of grief, but more than anything I felt betrayed. The more clarity, as I call it, of reality I take in the more I realize we've all been betrayed ADHD or not. I think the best thing I've experienced besides being able to clear my mind fr fr, and meditate, is remembering things. I have really good memory. I can remember things from the past but I can remember the sounds, smells, tastes, how things felt, and all I need is just something to trigger it. Even though I wasn't really there in reality at the moment because of day dreaming or hyperactivity, some part of brain was recording something. I think as you continue on your journey you will start to remember and you will have less regrets, and less overall negative emotions.
25 year-old woman here.... I related so much to this. Every. Single- Word. 💖 I got into this whole "Do I have ADHD?"-rabbit-hole this year, realizing how much girls (and especially grown women) go undiagnosed, because it manifests different for us. I opened up this whole door and I've decided to try to get an evaluation, because I can feel it in my bones how something's up with me. Thank you so much for making this video and talking so honestly about this, it means so much to that you're willing to share your story cause you're not alone 💛💛💛
Thank you for sharing; your experience is so relatable in that there is so much grief about everything that could've been different and much better because pretty much almost every single struggle can be traced to ADHD....I am glad you were able to discover this and get some support. Really looking forward to this series and everything you do (ofcourse). I think your lived experience and whatever you feel like sharing would be amazing around this. I definitely found your channel during an ADHD hyperfocus on my hair and you helped my journey a lot because we have similar hair types in a lot of way. 🖖
*sighhhhh* the way I shed tears with you... The idea of ADHD diaries is brilliant. You have sisters in like-circumstances, understanding you the same, struggling the same same, and enduring the same. We're not physically close but you have our support. ❤❤❤ We understand, girl. I was diagnosed last year, just after I turned 30. It was a sigh of relief but also gave me this self-pity anger of "this is what I've been enduring all these years?! I could've gotten somewhere in life if I had known this earlier!" No one prepares you for those feelings. And I felt so alone, even though I had support. So, thank you for sharing. You bring a feeling of community from all different sides of your life. You are incredibly appreciated for that. ❤
I was late in life diagnosed(58!) AuDHD and the struggle is real. 🙁My whole life I struggled with many things and lost jobs because of my unknown problems. Being black and female I didn’t match the standard for ND but things changed in the last 10 years and rejected being diagnosed before as it meant stigmatisation. Fortunately I have Aphantasia and Anauralia (no minds eye and inner voice) but the inability to focus, executive function, dyspraxia and confusion daily are real. Being self employed is the best job you can have, as the days your brain decides to play pranks on you can be accommodated. Sending you hugs from London. 🤗
Girl, I so needed this today. I am 34 years old and a mother just finding out I have inattentive adhd. I have felt so much grief and rage. I was starting to think I was crazy for this tornado of emotions because I have never heard anyone else discuss it. I have so much sadness for the life I could have had and who I could have been. Also I have so much anger for the ways I was treated due to things outside of my control. I wish I had been softer on myself. I regret that too. Thank you for this video. It's feels like it healed something in me. I cried the whole video. Please continue shining your beautiful light and thank you so much for sharing 💖
Girl, I feel you. I got diagnosed two years ago at 33 after a silent (thankfully) meltdown at work. It took a year to get testing due to the long wait list for adults, of which I'm shocked I wasn't fired during that time. I did end up leaving my job because it's too much for my ADHD brain to handle, and that was a major blow to my self esteem that resulted in me not working for a whole year. I wish I could say medication has had the magical results so many other have had, but it has taken a lot of trial-and-error, and high doses of medication, just to make it 'okay'. I focus moderately better, but can still easily be distracted, I still have the stray thoughts that come and go, I still make mistakes at my new job (just less of them). I don't know if I'll ever get that "so this is how 'normal' people function" moment, and that's been hard to accept.
Everything you described is exactly how my brain works and my life has gone. Even the being picked on part and how it was growing up. Seriously every little thing you said. You’ve made me seriously consider seeking a diagnosis.
The quiet and lack of intrusive thoughts is jarring --- it made me realize how other people just were compared to the struggles I've always had in keeping things straight.
I relate to you in this so much. I just got my autism diagnosis 3 days after my 29th birthday (last week). I got tested for ADHD because my older sister got diagnosed last year, and it turns out it’s autism for me. The grief for the time lost where you just felt stupid, lazy, wrong, etc is so real. Seeing people just going around and NOT dealing with everything extra is mind blowing, now that I understand not everyone feels this way. You are so so valid in what you’re feeling.
I’m in my late thirties, and today is when I’m going to finally get an ADHD assessment cause my new primary care doctor is the first one who’s taken me seriously.
This was like watching a mirror talk back to me. In the exact same boat. Still trying to overcome all the shame and stigma I was fed and fed myself. I feel like a domesticated fish released into the sea. How small my life had become because I didn't know it wasn't normal to struggle to survive daily. I didn't realize I was on another smaller struggle bus inside the regular struggle bus. Cheers to realizing you are not, in fact, bad at life, but living under entirely different circumstances to most people around you 🥂 good luck on your journey, Danielle! ❤
This touches me cause I've been dealing with this too. I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through this right now and I'm struggling. It took me a long time to figure out things about myself and its still an ongoing process. I just recently started medications. The meds opened my eyes. Thank you for sharing.. I'm 40 and I'm just getting help. Don't give up.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this. I think many kids have it but because of certain school rules, they don’t want to “offend” the kids and their parents by suggesting they be tested and get help. I’d imagine many kids just think they’re “bad kids”. It’s better to help kids now than to have them go through life wondering what’s wrong.
Everything you spoke abt is exactly what I'm going through. My whole life i knew i was "different" but it wasn't until a few years ago i realized that all my problems weren't a personality defect, something BIGGER was going on with me. And it wasn't until April of this year i realized after watching a tiktok of someone that what was "going on" was ADHD! I went down a rabbit whole of women speaking on their experiences and i cried when i finally pieced it together!! I officially got my diagnosis last month and it felt so validating knowing what i know to be true. But the devastation of realizing that all.this.time it was ADHD and if i had pieced it together earlier, maybe in college, maybe in high school, how different my life could be right now. But I have to remind myself to focus on the positive. And that my life can start to change NOW. For everyone feeling this way, you're not alone, and it will get better❤
if you haven't already get an autism eval too. most ppl have both its very unlikely to have one or the other. anyone out there who found out they have adhd but are still struggling with treatment and lifestyle change you might be autistic. it should be standard to test for both at once especially with such high comorbidity..
Hi Hon. You are not alone. i was diagnosed at 43 when I couldn’t do my job as a teacher. My head feels full like a packed thumb drive. I have piles everywhere. I always live is a messy place but I can find what i need. Your tears remind me of when I was medicated. I went on them to get stuff done because I couldn’t concentrate. i had to stop because of my heart and the sadness the meds caused. The meds made me feel calm and alive BUT they also made me sad. My friends said I was different. my joie de vivre was gone. Yea we need focus but girl you are amazing and funny and creative and interesting. It makes us sad knowing that adhd impacts us in so many ways. I had all the feelings you do but know that the meds will change you and not always positively. I be amen aggressive quiet depressed and crying a lot more. i tried several and they work differently for everyone I know. You don’t have to go up in meds if you are functioning better. You don’t want to lose all of your amazing thoughts and creativity. During this time when you feel calm learn strategies that will help you. You will be ok. You are young and have time to figure out how to navigate life with ADHD. Hugs
Thank you for making this video & know that you are not alone. I'm feeling all of this rn. I'm 31, will be 32 next month and just got diagnosed this month.
@@TheStarPuppy i plan to but it takes so long to get a diagnosis where i live. Universities do sometimes help so im thinking of seeing if theres a way to speed the process up thay way. I'd also like to say im an old subscriber. Its been great seeing you grow over the years especially when i was younger and struggling with my own hair. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us. You are doing great.
I’m glad that you have found medication that works for you!!! I hope that as you move on to a full dose the benefits only increase!!! As with all medications, make sure you read the side effects and get off if the side effects become too much. And I know it is so tempting to look at all the time that it took to get you to this place as a “waste” but that is a guilt trap built out of a world that tries to shame everyone who isn’t neurotypical. It’s not your fault that it took this long. It’s not your fault that it was so difficult to get this far. The system was literally designed to make it difficult to access for neurotypical so that makes it death match difficulty for those of us who are neurodivergent. You did amazing for getting the help you needed when you were able to and never let them take that win away from you. And as you move forward in your ADHD journey please remember that the inconsistency is the disease. You have always been able to do amazing things and now with meds hopefully replicating those results will be easier. But you will never be able to do your “best” consistently. Because the inconsistency is the disease. Also everyone’s best looks different on different days so try to give yourself that grace. And as always be kind to yourself!
I had to cry in the doctors office for him to write me a recommendation to get tested. I'm on a waiting list, but the first time I brought it up he discouraged me from getting tested. I've struggled all my life I just felt like I was the odd one out even in my family. I go back and forth in my head like what if I'm just making it up, but I know it's something I need to have checked.
They really should put this grieving process down as one of the side effects of the medication. I had a similar feeling of "wow they get this for free" on Lexapro, bc it helped me not be so overwhelmed by my emotions, that I could hold down high stress (and higher paying) jobs, but it eventually stopped working for me and now I don't need it as I am not depressed. (Living a year abroad I think really helped.) Looking forward to trying stimulant meds now for the focus. I felt that way too simply when I was diagnosed, bc ppl diagnosed as kids have a different life than those who didn't get diagnosed until they were adults. I need to update my adhd vids on my channel to talk about this experience. Idk how somehow I lost interest in doing those too
Thanks for sharing this. Trevor Noah just talked about how his ADHD has contributed to his depression and between his story and yours, I'm understanding some people in my life better 🙏🏽
Haven’t been diagnosed yet (working towards finding out) but I know for a fact that I show all the characteristics (But I only realised this at 27 y/o this year😢). The hardest part is wishing you knew this growing up and in all my relationships, BUT there also a freedom in knowing that there are tools to help us know and operate in the knowledge the we are not hopelessly flawed or ‘broken’.💔 Thank you so much for sharing❤
Hi Danielle ADHD is challenging to deal with... I have been just freshly diagnosed with it myself. I’ve spent most of my life wondering why I’ve always tried to catch up. I have a learning disability, so I have an auditory processing disorder. That had something to do with it being covered up. It’s also generational; my brother, my cousin, and some of my cousins have ADHD. I may have missed the mark when I was aged five and 10 when I should’ve been diagnosed; my mother tried to handle it with both my brother and me, sharing this issue and having different results; both my brother and I were severely disciplined, and for some reason, it worked in my “favor.” Still, with my brother, he was drugged for approximately ten years. He saw several doctors, and it seemed like nothing worked. His ADHD was much worse than mine, and then, of course, there’s a lot of sexism in having ADHD. They claim that women are more undetectable than men, which is essentially a lie. Everyone shows it differently than others, in my case. I was more inattentive, distracted and unsure about how to execute things confidently and not get distracted and run off and do some random thing, daydreaming, as they referred to it, but it’s true. The school system failed me. My parents failed me, and as an adult, I’m catching up and trying to realize where I am, trying to complete my goals and finish college, and leading a healthy, active life with a routine and a schedule. I agree that taking medication can support you, but seeing a therapist and looking into executive dysfunction coaching can be very helpful. There are books and resources out there, and having an ADHD assessment and using it whenever you’re in a situation where you need accommodations is also beneficial. You don’t have to live at the mercy of your ADHD. You can learn to embrace it and find positivity in it no matter what happens.
Yaaaay!!! ADHD-diaries!!! 😄 Welcome to the tribe!!! Makes so much sense! Most of my favorite people in life are people with ADHD ❤ Everything you're saying - You are sooooo not alone! You are NOT alone. Everything you've said are super common experiences for people with ADHD. I'm so sorry you have not been given access to that information. That you have not been given access to others like you 🫂 You are good enough. You are not dumb. You are not lazy. You are not failing because you aren't trying hard enough. You are trying. Hard. More than enough. The fact that your immense effort hasn't been properly recognized and appreciated is unfair, unhelpful, hurtful and just... Not right. Believe be. If effort alone was enough, ADHDers could move literal mountains. People have no idea I'm so glad you've gotten to experience positive effects of ADHD medication! It can really be life changing. Yes, other people get that stuff for free. Their brain just pumps it out. And then they berate us for not being able to do the same stuff as them. It's fucked up, and it's appropriate to be angry about This stuff is systemic. We live in systems that aren't built for us. Systems that expect certain kinds of humans, and break or lash out when other variations of humanity come through. In a system built for, by ADHDers, where knowledge about how people without ADHD (neurotypicals) was non-existent, neurotypicals would struggle too. The sorrow and mourning that comes with getting a diagnosis late should be talked about more. It is very common. A diagnosis often comes with grief, relief, joy, anger. The older you are, the longer the grief period often is - cause there's so much life to look back at. I got diagnosed at 19 and was angry and grieving. A loved one was 45, and had a much longer grieving periode. It takes time. That's completely normal, natural and, honestly, only right. Cause there IS a lot to be angry and upset about. We deserve better. Minorities, stigmatized groups, marginalized minorities deserve better Sorry, I'm on a rant. Just woke up, I keep typing not to fall asleep, and I want to tell you everything I've learned in my journey since i got diagnosed with adhd 15 years ago Check out Failing at normal: An ADHD success story - TED talk. Check out the TH-cam channel How To ADHD. There is so much helpful information - from the community, to the community. Otherwise, when I got my diagnosis at least, a lot of info is about ADHD children, for parents, written by neurotypical doctors It makes 100% sense what you're saying about falling through the cracks and being at a disadvantage because of the specific intersection you're in. I think that's 100% true. I think the societal biases and different systems of oppression kept you from getting your diagnosis, and getting all this information you've needed. Absolutely be angry at that. You did not deserve that. You deserve better. Truly - the problem is the system. Not you Neurodiversity is beautiful. It becomes rough when we're all expected to be the same Sending you so much love and so many hugs! It gets better. I promise
I was just diagnosed this past Tuesday as a 29 year old and I started the medication (also not full dose) yesterday. For the first time EVER I was able to just get up and do what I wanted without backtalk from my brain. It felt so nice, but I feel sad for 11 year old me who begged my parents to get me tested for ADHD just for the doctor to ask me like 4 questions and say “you don’t have it, you’re just lazy and unmotivated” 😔 I feel like I could’ve been so much farther in life if I knew back then.
Oh Girl it's ok, I knew I was different a long time ago lived in denial for maybe all my life. I masked and masked until last year I had one big meltdown. Keep up with Neuro typical ones is very hard and exhausting. When I told my family it took time, but they believed me , I felt like a whole burden was off my shoulders. It is very brave you to come out like that, you need one big hug 🤗. It's all about reself discovery. We are different and that's ok, we love our interests, hobbies, obsessions and that's ok. We are beautiful, unique, a bit clumsy ( as a Baker ahem I burn or cut myself sometimes, not to mention head knocks oh those are ugly, sometimes I even forget I knocked my head and I only notice later ) I seriously think we are adorable. 😁 Not all of us are super social, I'm so introverted I basically have no friends 😆 I used to, but it's such a pain to put up the extra effort to keep up. I love my peace what can I say. They either respect my peace and cycle or get out. I'm tried of sacrificing who I really am to keep up with others. When I was a child um I was a bit cold and smart for my age, I could speak, but I choose not to. Selective mutism as they call it. I choose to listen and learn cause I didn't want my parents to worry. Always did the stupids of things as a child without fear for my life and when I was scolded I remaind completely unresponsive. My teachers were very desperate. I noticed that thus began the journey to masking. Well I'm free now, and you should embrace it too, be true to yourself, be yourself, enjoy what you do, filter the people around you. There are some ppl that just have to go, especially those that don't understand that you need time to recharge and that you are tried. Your family will come around it took months with mine. Sis 🥰 it's a whole new world ahead of you so wear your adventure mantle ,and welcome to the ADHD family were we have all different kind of smarts 😉.
It seems you attracted quite a few people here with ADHD. I'm one such a person. However, I'm not on any position to give advice but I can day that you should take care to listen to your body when you feel drained. It may mean you need a day off and, if you can, you should take a day off. Unaddressed stress lead to a nasty burnout period I am still going through and since we are neurodivergent, this burnout is not like what neurotypicals go through at all. I also suggest looking up a few channels where ADHD is the theme. That has helped me greatly in realizing that I also need help 😅.
God made you in His image and He values and cherishes you so much. I pray you draw closer to Him and have Him blow your mind on the great plans that He has for you and what more He will use you to do in the lives of many. God bless you for sharing, your vulnerability and boldness. Have a merry Christmas 😊
Sis, all those randoms thought is the Divine messaging you to find KNOWLEDGE OF SELF. Don’t be afraid. It’s time for your awakening. Know thy self. Asé
Found a sticker with these words Maybe there's nothing wrong with you- maybe it's just really difficult to exist within a system that was not designed to support a spirit like yours.
Your feelings are understandable but don’t beat yourself up over this revelation. You now understand you have ADHD and can better manage situations/struggles moving forward. ❤️
Wow… As someone who was diagnosed in Highschool but shamefully didnt want to accept it….this hit home. It definitely has real life repercussions and does feel like a set up. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom, but we don’t have to stay there. Thank you for sharing Star puppy 💜 We totally got this 🙏🏽🤞🏽💪🏾! Seek help everyone, even if it’s not ADHD if you’re struggling reach out. There are tools and resources out there!! We all deserve a good life.
Many people think of ADHD as merely a lack of discipline or focus, but it is a complex condition that requires understanding and support.
You’re not dumb, you’re not stupid, and you’re not broken. Different, yes but then again so am I . so are most people who come here so that’s OK. Hearing that you’re not this perfect person that you thought you were maybe concerning but none of us are a perfect. We’re just imperfectly ourselves. You are beautiful, you are eclectic and I mean that from a good space because so am I. There’s nothing wrong with needing to know how to adjust for your personal needs. Don’t you feel shame and don’t you feel bad . Just think that my name is star puppy and I have ADHD and let me tell you how, I get along with my day good, bad and indifferent. You got this❤
You are so kind. I appreciate your care so much! I'm working to improve and be more honest everyday. Thanks for sticking with me on this journey.
You nailed it!! 🎯🎯We’re ALL just imperfectly ourselves❤
Man , I can relate! Finding out, in adulthood, that I have ADHD ( despite showing all the symptoms and people telling me that I was just being influenced by the internet because now "everyone has it") was actually one of my happiest moments, funny enough. It was like all that shame I internalized from not " trying hard enough" dissipated. I can look for proper treatment, better strategy and ways to work around my weaknesses. Its a huge weight lifted off your shoulders to understand the way your brain works isn't your fault and everyone around you CAN be wrong.
I definitely felt a sense of relief. I managed to figure ways around it, but having the knowledge has been life-changing.
This may sound odd, but when you’re diagnosed as an adult, there is a period of mourning. Mourn all the possibilities, the poor feelings about yourself, time wasted etc etc. it’s a whole whirlwind, but it ended being devastating BUT freeing cause I wasn’t broken. My first day of feeling that ‘quiet mind’ I literally held my head in my hands, laid in bed ALL DAY, and cry off and on. Whoooo freeing.
Oh girl. I know. I *know*. Us neurospicy Black girls (especially ADHD) go through too much. Hugs ❤️
As a fellow adult diagnosed ADHDer this was so cathartic! This was the first time I’ve heard from someone who gets it. Even my most sympathetic family members don’t seem to understand that I can’t “just get it together.”
I was diagnosed a week before my 50th birthday. I am relieved, rage filled and sad. "Too many feelings for your hands to keep up with..." really resonates.
As someone who is autistic AND has ADHD-like symptoms, I'm crying with you, sis! 😭
same ☀
hey i just commented this but adhd and autism are very comorbid, you are mos likely audhd. they rarely go without each other so please if you can get an eval. adhd symptoms and autism symptoms are different with different criteria, autism will not give you adhd symptoms
@@user-fc2xk3uv8y I've heard that they are very comorbid, and I honestly think I have it. I can literally sit at my computer and obsessively click through the same 4 or 5 tabs for hours, and then I look up and I've literally accomplished nothing all day. That can NOT be normal.
Girl I felt this on the same level. We have such similar experiences! I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and it was quite obvious I had something as a kid a it was when my procrastination was no longer paying off I.e no longer submitting assignments that I decided to get that diagnosis asap. I felt so let down thinking about everyone who ignored all my symptoms. Years of self frustration thinking “why can I not just do this thing that I need to get done”. These spaces for us are needed to talk about things. Keep going 🙏🏾❤️
This is so real. I’m in the beginning of this process right now. A therapist told me anecdotally that she thought I had ADHD but she noted that she’s not the type of clinician that can diagnose it. I’m dealing with so much guilt and fear. What if it’s not ADHD and I’m just lazy and unmotivated? I’m so proud of you for advocating for yourself and pushing through this tough process. Thank you for sharing. ❤
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. By the way, if it turns out that you don't have ADHD, there is also something calle Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) that is exacerbated by burn out. Most people with CFS deal with a lack of motivation too. So this too could be something you might be dealing with. Stay strong and if you feel like you need to pull back from life in general, please do so.
@@bluebird4815 thank you ❤️
@@bluebird4815💫✨Hey 🐦 Bluebird : Thx for bringing CFS n2 the arena . . . The repercussions of this illness are mind numbing, at best! The hardest audience in this theatre 🎭 of life will be those seated in the “Reserved” section . . . I mean the elite who possess season 🎟️ 🎫 tickets, of course, i.e., our mates, immediate family (in-house) members, our in-laws (sometimes, out-laws), the besties, and at times : we, ourselves . . . 🗣️🔊 “all ADHD, AUDHD, ME/CFS, FMS persons :: WE are not Lazy, Crazy, or Hazy 🌫️ at all ; we have mental illness and with proper care, the eccentric side of our personalities may be appreciated through perception as a unique form of multifaceted (🧠) genius.🐦Thx!💫✨
You are not alone. Thank you for sharing this. ❤
You are so welcome
Everything. Everything.
My mother doesn't believe there's something lacking with me because I was always "doing good". I had high grades, my teachers didn't have issues with me, and I didn't get into trouble. But now that I'm older, I cannot function. I can't read the things I once read, I can't get joy out of once joyful things, I no longer enjoy going to school because I feel left behind. And no matter how much I seek out help, no one believes me. But I told myself recently, no more. I want help and I'm going to get help no matter how. Thank you for this video. It came at a time where I have a lab report that's overdue by some hours and I really need to finish it, lol.
I feel like I see this conversation of mourning in autistic spaces more than ADHD ones, and it's usually framed as "I could've known all of this time" instead of "I could've managed symptoms all this time".
Mourning is normal, but also understand that your value is not rooted in your ability to be productive. There isn't anything inherently wrong with you. Internalized ableism really is a beast. We are placed in a social landscape that measures our worth on what we produce and provide, and when we aren't able to fully conform to a system that wasn't built with our brains in mind, we're made to feel ashamed.
Be gentle and kind to yourself as you learn more about your brain. Work with yourself so that you can do what's the best and healthiest for you. You have the support of many other neurodivergent Black girlies (including me). Mourning may be one part of it, but the journey to learning your brain can be an empowering one as well.
I’m going through the same journey. It’s like damn how much further I could have been had I been diagnosed as a kid.
I completely understand. I think I find solace in the thought that knowing too soon could have shifted the scales too far to the other side. I developed a relationship to myself and others' assuming I was neurotypical and that resulted in several POSITIVE experiences too.
I felt so seen by your rawness… while I’m not sure I suffer from ADHD… since pregnancy & now going through motherhood, my anxiety and hormones have been a BATTLE. Some days, I literally am just making it minute by minute. Trying to calm myself, while also being mindful I’m responsible for a life. I’m not sure if medication is my solution but I know mental health and being in tune with my nervous system has shown me there’s much work to be done.
Society needs to be better treating people with disabilities with respect,especially BIPOC lgbtq+. The anti blackness in the disability community is concerning and out of control. Nobody shouldn't be treated less than because of a disability. I was bullied for being autistic and ADHD by kids and adults.
PREACHED AN ENTIRE SERMON in the first NINE SECONDS!!! 💎🥺🥲🙌🏾🙏🏾
I'm doing my best out here ❤️
I'm an adult, and while I haven't been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I may have ADHD. Lately, I have been experimenting with natural supplements to help with my "busy thoughts."
I tried the Olly brand, but it only worked for two days. I remember wondering if other people's minds are always so clear and peaceful. Unfortunately, I felt sad when it stopped being effective for me. It took almost a year before I tried another brand. I made sure not to get too consumed by trying different options, but I eventually found one that works well for me, and I'm now on my second bottle.
I still need a proper diagnosis, and I wonder how that experience will differ from using natural supplements. I'm holding on to this "crutch" for now, but hearing your story and others like it makes me realize that it would be better to simplify my life.
"What I love about my possible "ADHD" is my hyperfocus..while it's mostly turned on when I'm into something, I remember forcing myself to use this for extreme projects which had great results. I ofcourse I have to do this differently than my colleagues...I needed audio in my ears to absorb information. The tricks I learned while having possible "ADHD" can be blessing sometimes"
I hope that you're able to receive an accurate assessment. It's literally life-changing. Either way, I'm happy you relate to my journey on any level. It feels pretty specific, but there are so many people who have similar experiences, it makes me feel so much less alone.
Wow. The way that you frame your words and describe how it feels to have a different mind than the average person is so relieving. My mind races all the time. And I’ve struggled with so many things. Still am. And the guilt, shame, and resentment I have towards myself and sometimes others for not knowing soon enough. I’ve had to learn self- compassion among other things to push through the storm.
I don’t have ADHD but I have OCD. Being diagnosed after all these years of fighting with my mind in the dark, made things clearer. It wasn’t until something really traumatic happened to me at 24, where I was told that I had symptoms. Things got so bad that I had to go to a mental hospital and get extensive therapy to help me work through everything that I’ve been going through. The stress and pain caused me depression, anxiety, and chronic illness. You never realize how much your mind can make such an impact on your mind and body.
Feeling like something is wrong with you but not knowing exactly why is one of the worst feelings. For anyone who is struggling, you’re not alone. And don’t be afraid or give up to seeking help. It’s frustrating and exhausting but continue to advocate for yourself. It is rewarding even in slow progress. Don’t wait!
Thank you for this video ❤.
I’m so glad you’re aware now and being treated . I was diagnosed at age 48 in the middle of law school .. I felt much of what you’ve expressed..Everything made sense once I started figuring out what was happening.. and there was grief. I was upset and relieved at the same time .
The first time I was able to focus because of the meds ..
I was like “Wow. This is what it’s like to be “regular”.
Neurodivergent people : We
are warriors.
People can’t imagine what it’s like to be in our brains because we seem to still do well before we really embrace that there’s a problem . For me, it was literally “All my LIFE I had to FIGHT!” …Fight my own mind to focus.
I’m thankful for law school because it FORCED me to seek help. I had made it through undergrad successfully but through many tears without getting diagnosed -blaming my life circumstances on why I couldn’t focus . It’s been a wild ride but thankfully, we are overcomers! 💪🏾
There are other mental health issues that go along with adhd as well…
IMO, it is because it’s SUCH a great challenge to just THINK without interruption.
It's no joke, you got this!
I am an adult and much older at that. I am currently feeling the shame, guilt and anger that no one bothered to notice. So much time has passed, so many struggles. Trying not to regret what I’ve missed out on. The grief sucks. I am not on medication, but I will start CBT. I truly hurt for the little girl/teenager/young adult…adult 2 months ago…that didn’t know and who was stigmatized and ridiculed because my brain works differentl and nobody knew. The labels are hard to get out from under. But at least I know I am NOT lazy, I’ve always known that I’m not academically stupid, but I felt other kinds of stupid for being habitually late-and lambasted for it. Missing appointments. Losing things in front of my face. This is a journey. I’m going to give myself permission to cry and hope I don’t stay in the throes of rumination. Thank you so much for this video. I’m so glad you found out and you are able to get help. Keep shining. 🌟
I am going through the same thing (black woman diagnosed as an adult who felt “different” - it manifested as anxiety and shyness in younger me). I know it’s hard to learn of something so integral to your life experiences so late. But now that you know, you’ll be more informed about how to healthily adapt. I’m still learning how to better handle living as an adult with adhd. I think it’s easier to go undiagnosed as a young girl - especially if you’re more “spacey”/ “distracted” coupled with fortunate enough to have supports that end up masking some of the issues that typically arise. (My parents were on top of me for everything and my schools growing up MADE us write in planners and check things off). So it showed I think more in the social aspects of my life (wanting to do everything and having a million and 1 hobbies that only lasted me months at a time) than academic (which I excelled at growing up thankfully). But it meant when I got to college - the struggle with executive dysfunction hit like a truck.
I’m sending you hugs and positive energy. It’ll be okay even if it feels like a deluge of feelings and new information. Don’t be afraid to get more help whenever you need. Occupational therapy (“lifestyle redesign”) helped me so much. I can’t access it now due to insurance but it really helped me so much as an adult to have someone helping me dedicate time to focusing on my long term goals - since I struggle to look beyond what’s most immediately urgent.
Wishing you the best
Omg i have the EXACT same experience as you. The shyness and as a kid and eveeything. People used to think im so organised but really i had to compulsively overplan and stress myself out to do what others did so easily. Now that i was left to my own devices for uni, ive been in need of serious help. Im taking a year out now because it got too much.
I also relate so much to this, had a very similar experience. 🧡
Thank you for being so supportive! I feel like this video has been a long time in the making. Thank goodness for my INCREDIBLE family for instilling in me so many good life habits.
I feel so seen right now. I'm not alone. Oh my GOD this has been the hardest week ever. I've cried so much. I relate to every single word you said in this video.
I was JUST diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at the age of 26. All my life I thought something was wrong with me. Everything my abusive mother hated me for and beat me for were autistic and adhd traits I couldn't control. The grieving you mentioned is so REAL.
I knew you always felt like a kindred spirit. Now I know another reason why. I look forward to the ADHD Diaries ❤️
Man i was recently (about a year ago) diagnosed with ADHD at 20 and it's now hitting me that the reason why i resonated with you so much is because you have ADHD too! You're right, it really is not a joke, but you're not alone in this! ❤
I know this isn't a happy occasion but I agree with what you said. We neurodivergents pick up on our own so we really should be more supportive to each other and also, not mask so much when we can.
I stopped getting your notifications and missed you, had a light bulb moment of searching for "growing my 4c hair" and here you were!
This video is what I needed. I am 38 and female from the UK. Been suspecting I have adhd for about 4 years. Emotionally battled the imposter syndrome for 2 years got ignored then at my first attempt with the Dr then 2nd attempt finally got listened to and put on the wrong waiting list(7+year one) to now finally being on the one I requested. 🤞 I'll know one way or the other by or before early next year. Felt I've already been through many stages of grief because it's kinda obvious.
Thanks you for being vulnerable, its cathartic to know others are on similar struggles.
also vlogging is a good idea. I didn't even think of that. tried written journals but I don't know how to begin and that adds more pressure cause "what style" "what pen" "what book" "what do you write" all the what's stumping and stalling/overwhelming me. Video could be the solution.
Sis, I am right their with you. I was 36 when I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and and OCD. I've been going to therapy for almost a yr. My son has ADHD (unmedicated), and I am medicated. Everything you talked about it what I went through for years. There are some things I am still working on. You are great and amazing. Take your time. Don't rush anything.
What type of therapy are you doing? Just a therapist who specializes in ADHD? Or like CBT?
@tifinatty She does ADHD combination diagnosed conditions. She is covering all my conditions. I get medication via specialist separate. Medication Dr. I see once a month go over symptoms my sessions, etc.
I just wanna give you a hug. I randomly came across your video. Someone very close to me has been going through mental health issues for a while and I see how hard it is for them and the way it affects life at times. One thing I know that has helped them a lot is not just working on their health physically but also spiritually by praying, reading the bible (2 Timothy 1:7 she loves meditating on this and others like it), listening to sermons and fellowshipping with others. It's given her hope during the very tough times. Saying prayers for you and sending love ❤💛💙 You've got this! Thanks for sharing
No its not just a child issue ❤
My first day of feeling that ‘quiet mind’ I literally held my head in my hands, laid in bed ALL DAY, and cry off and on. Whoooo freeing. I’ve felt every emotion you described. The way media portrays ADHD, really does it a disservice with major consequences
You will get through this love!! Acknowledging it is KEY. Now the real work begins.. we’re here for you❤
Oh my goodness!!! I was just thinking that you might have ADHD because when I first started watching your channel I was like " Wow, I really relate to her!" Then I've personally realized I might have ADHD and I've been thinking"Star puppy might have it too..." Then you mentioned that your parents thought you were deaf and that's literally what happened to me. My parents took me to get my ears checked when I was younger and my parents concluded that I "hear what I want to hear ". I understand how difficult it can be so here's a hug 🫂 we'll be okay ❤️
**hug accepted** Thank you for sticking with me
I literally started crying in the beginning because of how relatable it was already.
I got diagnosed last year at 23! How you’re feeling is exactly what I went through and still think about. Because I knew something wasn’t right but I never knew the answer. As I grew older, I jokingly thought it was ADHD but figured it wasn’t a joke and seriously was. I sometimes think about how different life, academics, relationships, etc… would’ve been if I had gotten put on meds earlier on or was put in some type of coping/therapy for children. It brought me relief that my self diagnoses was correct and so many things started to make sense. Occasionally, I think if who I am now is who I was supposed to be… if I had those options when I was younger or am I just now a sum of all the coping, compensating, and masking to not be told “you’re different“ or asked “why do you act like that?”, etc.., or if I hadn’t turned my symptoms into the sum of my personality. Regardless, this is a new journey for me and this is conformation of a prayer regarding this that I had a few hours ago. Despite all of the past, I’m still so grateful. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. 🌷You have many gifts. You’re talented,kind,humble, generous,interesting, & beautiful❤️. I’m beyond 65 and I always watch your videos. With your positive attitude, you will be just fine! Thank you for sharing.
I have ADHD combined. I was diagnosed around 41. I had the exact experience. Low dosage 5mg, and on day 2 I woke up and nothing was there. The world was different. I said wtf in my mind, and then the voice stopped, and nothing happened. My thoughts were, "And this is how people's minds are all the time all nilly willy? Nothing?!?!?" I think Evening 3 or 4 around 8pm is when I decided to clean my kitchen and living room. It was cluttered with boxes. I finished up at 3am. I still can't maintain all consistencies, some routines (not all), but I have random bursts of when I get stuff done.
I cried, I went through all the steps of grief, but more than anything I felt betrayed. The more clarity, as I call it, of reality I take in the more I realize we've all been betrayed ADHD or not. I think the best thing I've experienced besides being able to clear my mind fr fr, and meditate, is remembering things. I have really good memory. I can remember things from the past but I can remember the sounds, smells, tastes, how things felt, and all I need is just something to trigger it. Even though I wasn't really there in reality at the moment because of day dreaming or hyperactivity, some part of brain was recording something. I think as you continue on your journey you will start to remember and you will have less regrets, and less overall negative emotions.
Sending you love and light ❤
25 year-old woman here.... I related so much to this. Every. Single- Word. 💖 I got into this whole "Do I have ADHD?"-rabbit-hole this year, realizing how much girls (and especially grown women) go undiagnosed, because it manifests different for us. I opened up this whole door and I've decided to try to get an evaluation, because I can feel it in my bones how something's up with me. Thank you so much for making this video and talking so honestly about this, it means so much to that you're willing to share your story cause you're not alone 💛💛💛
Thank you for sharing; your experience is so relatable in that there is so much grief about everything that could've been different and much better because pretty much almost every single struggle can be traced to ADHD....I am glad you were able to discover this and get some support. Really looking forward to this series and everything you do (ofcourse). I think your lived experience and whatever you feel like sharing would be amazing around this. I definitely found your channel during an ADHD hyperfocus on my hair and you helped my journey a lot because we have similar hair types in a lot of way. 🖖
When i say I feel this i mean it. i have adhd and ptsd that manifests itself with memory loss and an inability to remember things, its horrible.
*sighhhhh* the way I shed tears with you...
The idea of ADHD diaries is brilliant. You have sisters in like-circumstances, understanding you the same, struggling the same same, and enduring the same. We're not physically close but you have our support. ❤❤❤ We understand, girl.
I was diagnosed last year, just after I turned 30. It was a sigh of relief but also gave me this self-pity anger of "this is what I've been enduring all these years?! I could've gotten somewhere in life if I had known this earlier!"
No one prepares you for those feelings. And I felt so alone, even though I had support. So, thank you for sharing. You bring a feeling of community from all different sides of your life. You are incredibly appreciated for that. ❤
Even in your sadness you share- and that makes you special. You have a beautiful soul. You will get through this. 💖
I was late in life diagnosed(58!) AuDHD and the struggle is real. 🙁My whole life I struggled with many things and lost jobs because of my unknown problems. Being black and female I didn’t match the standard for ND but things changed in the last 10 years and rejected being diagnosed before as it meant stigmatisation. Fortunately I have Aphantasia and Anauralia (no minds eye and inner voice) but the inability to focus, executive function, dyspraxia and confusion daily are real. Being self employed is the best job you can have, as the days your brain decides to play pranks on you can be accommodated. Sending you hugs from London. 🤗
Girl, I so needed this today. I am 34 years old and a mother just finding out I have inattentive adhd. I have felt so much grief and rage. I was starting to think I was crazy for this tornado of emotions because I have never heard anyone else discuss it. I have so much sadness for the life I could have had and who I could have been. Also I have so much anger for the ways I was treated due to things outside of my control. I wish I had been softer on myself. I regret that too. Thank you for this video. It's feels like it healed something in me. I cried the whole video. Please continue shining your beautiful light and thank you so much for sharing 💖
Girl, I feel you. I got diagnosed two years ago at 33 after a silent (thankfully) meltdown at work. It took a year to get testing due to the long wait list for adults, of which I'm shocked I wasn't fired during that time. I did end up leaving my job because it's too much for my ADHD brain to handle, and that was a major blow to my self esteem that resulted in me not working for a whole year.
I wish I could say medication has had the magical results so many other have had, but it has taken a lot of trial-and-error, and high doses of medication, just to make it 'okay'. I focus moderately better, but can still easily be distracted, I still have the stray thoughts that come and go, I still make mistakes at my new job (just less of them).
I don't know if I'll ever get that "so this is how 'normal' people function" moment, and that's been hard to accept.
Everything you described is exactly how my brain works and my life has gone. Even the being picked on part and how it was growing up. Seriously every little thing you said.
You’ve made me seriously consider seeking a diagnosis.
The quiet and lack of intrusive thoughts is jarring --- it made me realize how other people just were compared to the struggles I've always had in keeping things straight.
I relate to you in this so much. I just got my autism diagnosis 3 days after my 29th birthday (last week). I got tested for ADHD because my older sister got diagnosed last year, and it turns out it’s autism for me. The grief for the time lost where you just felt stupid, lazy, wrong, etc is so real. Seeing people just going around and NOT dealing with everything extra is mind blowing, now that I understand not everyone feels this way. You are so so valid in what you’re feeling.
A big hug ❤
I’m in my late thirties, and today is when I’m going to finally get an ADHD assessment cause my new primary care doctor is the first one who’s taken me seriously.
This was like watching a mirror talk back to me. In the exact same boat. Still trying to overcome all the shame and stigma I was fed and fed myself. I feel like a domesticated fish released into the sea. How small my life had become because I didn't know it wasn't normal to struggle to survive daily. I didn't realize I was on another smaller struggle bus inside the regular struggle bus. Cheers to realizing you are not, in fact, bad at life, but living under entirely different circumstances to most people around you 🥂 good luck on your journey, Danielle! ❤
This touches me cause I've been dealing with this too. I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through this right now and I'm struggling. It took me a long time to figure out things about myself and its still an ongoing process. I just recently started medications. The meds opened my eyes. Thank you for sharing.. I'm 40 and I'm just getting help. Don't give up.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this. I think many kids have it but because of certain school rules, they don’t want to “offend” the kids and their parents by suggesting they be tested and get help. I’d imagine many kids just think they’re “bad kids”. It’s better to help kids now than to have them go through life wondering what’s wrong.
Everything you spoke abt is exactly what I'm going through. My whole life i knew i was "different" but it wasn't until a few years ago i realized that all my problems weren't a personality defect, something BIGGER was going on with me. And it wasn't until April of this year i realized after watching a tiktok of someone that what was "going on" was ADHD! I went down a rabbit whole of women speaking on their experiences and i cried when i finally pieced it together!!
I officially got my diagnosis last month and it felt so validating knowing what i know to be true. But the devastation of realizing that all.this.time it was ADHD and if i had pieced it together earlier, maybe in college, maybe in high school, how different my life could be right now. But I have to remind myself to focus on the positive. And that my life can start to change NOW. For everyone feeling this way, you're not alone, and it will get better❤
if you haven't already get an autism eval too. most ppl have both its very unlikely to have one or the other. anyone out there who found out they have adhd but are still struggling with treatment and lifestyle change you might be autistic. it should be standard to test for both at once especially with such high comorbidity..
Hi Hon. You are not alone. i was diagnosed at 43 when I couldn’t do my job as a teacher. My head feels full like a packed thumb drive. I have piles everywhere. I always live is a messy place but I can find what i need.
Your tears remind me of when I was medicated. I went on them to get stuff done because I couldn’t concentrate. i had to stop because of my heart and the sadness the meds caused. The meds made me feel calm and alive BUT they also made me sad. My friends said I was different. my joie de vivre was gone.
Yea we need focus but girl you are amazing and funny and creative and interesting. It makes us sad knowing that adhd impacts us in so many ways.
I had all the feelings you do but know that the meds will change you and not always positively. I be amen aggressive quiet depressed and crying a lot more. i tried several and they work differently for everyone I know. You don’t have to go up in meds if you are functioning better. You don’t want to lose all of your amazing thoughts and creativity.
During this time when you feel calm learn strategies that will help you. You will be ok. You are young and have time to figure out how to navigate life with ADHD. Hugs
I wanted to get a specialist to talk about ADHD but they don’t have openings because so many adults are finally realizing they may have it!
So proud of you for sharing this to help others…and yourself. 💪🏾
This popped on my feed and i was beating myself up for something I did. I relate to you about slipping through the cracks as well.
Thank you for making this video & know that you are not alone. I'm feeling all of this rn. I'm 31, will be 32 next month and just got diagnosed this month.
Idk if i have adhd but i think its what ruined my university experience and how i live daily.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I would always encourage you to seek assessment, mental health care is so underrated.
@@TheStarPuppy i plan to but it takes so long to get a diagnosis where i live. Universities do sometimes help so im thinking of seeing if theres a way to speed the process up thay way.
I'd also like to say im an old subscriber. Its been great seeing you grow over the years especially when i was younger and struggling with my own hair. Thankyou for sharing your experience with us. You are doing great.
I’m glad that you have found medication that works for you!!! I hope that as you move on to a full dose the benefits only increase!!! As with all medications, make sure you read the side effects and get off if the side effects become too much.
And I know it is so tempting to look at all the time that it took to get you to this place as a “waste” but that is a guilt trap built out of a world that tries to shame everyone who isn’t neurotypical. It’s not your fault that it took this long. It’s not your fault that it was so difficult to get this far. The system was literally designed to make it difficult to access for neurotypical so that makes it death match difficulty for those of us who are neurodivergent. You did amazing for getting the help you needed when you were able to and never let them take that win away from you.
And as you move forward in your ADHD journey please remember that the inconsistency is the disease. You have always been able to do amazing things and now with meds hopefully replicating those results will be easier. But you will never be able to do your “best” consistently. Because the inconsistency is the disease. Also everyone’s best looks different on different days so try to give yourself that grace.
And as always be kind to yourself!
I had to cry in the doctors office for him to write me a recommendation to get tested. I'm on a waiting list, but the first time I brought it up he discouraged me from getting tested. I've struggled all my life I just felt like I was the odd one out even in my family. I go back and forth in my head like what if I'm just making it up, but I know it's something I need to have checked.
Autism and ADHD over here, AuDHD, life has been a nightmare.
As a black girl, just wanted to say thank you for this
They really should put this grieving process down as one of the side effects of the medication. I had a similar feeling of "wow they get this for free" on Lexapro, bc it helped me not be so overwhelmed by my emotions, that I could hold down high stress (and higher paying) jobs, but it eventually stopped working for me and now I don't need it as I am not depressed. (Living a year abroad I think really helped.) Looking forward to trying stimulant meds now for the focus. I felt that way too simply when I was diagnosed, bc ppl diagnosed as kids have a different life than those who didn't get diagnosed until they were adults. I need to update my adhd vids on my channel to talk about this experience. Idk how somehow I lost interest in doing those too
Im on the same boat. 28, from the south, dark shin and just found out that i have adhd.
I support you. Sending love and prayers. ❤
Thanks for sharing this. Trevor Noah just talked about how his ADHD has contributed to his depression and between his story and yours, I'm understanding some people in my life better 🙏🏽
Haven’t been diagnosed yet (working towards finding out) but I know for a fact that I show all the characteristics (But I only realised this at 27 y/o this year😢). The hardest part is wishing you knew this growing up and in all my relationships,
BUT there also a freedom in knowing that there are tools to help us know and operate in the knowledge the we are not hopelessly flawed or ‘broken’.💔
Thank you so much for sharing❤
Solidarity ❤
Thank you for your honesty and transparency ❤
Hi Danielle
ADHD is challenging to deal with... I have been just freshly diagnosed with it myself. I’ve spent most of my life wondering why I’ve always tried to catch up. I have a learning disability, so I have an auditory processing disorder. That had something to do with it being covered up. It’s also generational; my brother, my cousin, and some of my cousins have ADHD. I may have missed the mark when I was aged five and 10 when I should’ve been diagnosed; my mother tried to handle it with both my brother and me, sharing this issue and having different results; both my brother and I were severely disciplined, and for some reason, it worked in my “favor.” Still, with my brother, he was drugged for approximately ten years. He saw several doctors, and it seemed like nothing worked. His ADHD was much worse than mine, and then, of course, there’s a lot of sexism in having ADHD. They claim that women are more undetectable than men, which is essentially a lie. Everyone shows it differently than others, in my case. I was more inattentive, distracted and unsure about how to execute things confidently and not get distracted and run off and do some random thing, daydreaming, as they referred to it, but it’s true. The school system failed me. My parents failed me, and as an adult, I’m catching up and trying to realize where I am, trying to complete my goals and finish college, and leading a healthy, active life with a routine and a schedule. I agree that taking medication can support you, but seeing a therapist and looking into executive dysfunction coaching can be very helpful. There are books and resources out there, and having an ADHD assessment and using it whenever you’re in a situation where you need accommodations is also beneficial. You don’t have to live at the mercy of your ADHD. You can learn to embrace it and find positivity in it no matter what happens.
Yaaaay!!! ADHD-diaries!!! 😄
Welcome to the tribe!!! Makes so much sense! Most of my favorite people in life are people with ADHD ❤
Everything you're saying - You are sooooo not alone! You are NOT alone. Everything you've said are super common experiences for people with ADHD. I'm so sorry you have not been given access to that information. That you have not been given access to others like you 🫂
You are good enough. You are not dumb. You are not lazy. You are not failing because you aren't trying hard enough. You are trying. Hard. More than enough. The fact that your immense effort hasn't been properly recognized and appreciated is unfair, unhelpful, hurtful and just... Not right. Believe be. If effort alone was enough, ADHDers could move literal mountains. People have no idea
I'm so glad you've gotten to experience positive effects of ADHD medication! It can really be life changing. Yes, other people get that stuff for free. Their brain just pumps it out. And then they berate us for not being able to do the same stuff as them. It's fucked up, and it's appropriate to be angry about
This stuff is systemic. We live in systems that aren't built for us. Systems that expect certain kinds of humans, and break or lash out when other variations of humanity come through. In a system built for, by ADHDers, where knowledge about how people without ADHD (neurotypicals) was non-existent, neurotypicals would struggle too.
The sorrow and mourning that comes with getting a diagnosis late should be talked about more. It is very common. A diagnosis often comes with grief, relief, joy, anger. The older you are, the longer the grief period often is - cause there's so much life to look back at. I got diagnosed at 19 and was angry and grieving. A loved one was 45, and had a much longer grieving periode. It takes time. That's completely normal, natural and, honestly, only right. Cause there IS a lot to be angry and upset about. We deserve better. Minorities, stigmatized groups, marginalized minorities deserve better
Sorry, I'm on a rant. Just woke up, I keep typing not to fall asleep, and I want to tell you everything I've learned in my journey since i got diagnosed with adhd 15 years ago
Check out Failing at normal: An ADHD success story - TED talk. Check out the TH-cam channel How To ADHD. There is so much helpful information - from the community, to the community. Otherwise, when I got my diagnosis at least, a lot of info is about ADHD children, for parents, written by neurotypical doctors
It makes 100% sense what you're saying about falling through the cracks and being at a disadvantage because of the specific intersection you're in. I think that's 100% true. I think the societal biases and different systems of oppression kept you from getting your diagnosis, and getting all this information you've needed. Absolutely be angry at that. You did not deserve that. You deserve better. Truly - the problem is the system. Not you
Neurodiversity is beautiful. It becomes rough when we're all expected to be the same
Sending you so much love and so many hugs! It gets better. I promise
Grieving what was and what may never be is normal. At least you are getting answers as to why you related the way you did
Soo important to talk about! Thank you
❤❤❤❤ Love from a fellow Black Neurodivergent! (Autism+ ADHD)
I was just diagnosed this past Tuesday as a 29 year old and I started the medication (also not full dose) yesterday. For the first time EVER I was able to just get up and do what I wanted without backtalk from my brain. It felt so nice, but I feel sad for 11 year old me who begged my parents to get me tested for ADHD just for the doctor to ask me like 4 questions and say “you don’t have it, you’re just lazy and unmotivated” 😔 I feel like I could’ve been so much farther in life if I knew back then.
Girl yeah! I took meds and the first thing i thought was "is this what everyone feels like?"
“Somehow i managed to slip through all of the cracks of all of the institutions in place” 1:08 me😭😭😭
Oh Girl it's ok, I knew I was different a long time ago lived in denial for maybe all my life. I masked and masked until last year I had one big meltdown. Keep up with Neuro typical ones is very hard and exhausting. When I told my family it took time, but they believed me , I felt like a whole burden was off my shoulders.
It is very brave you to come out like that, you need one big hug 🤗. It's all about reself discovery.
We are different and that's ok, we love our interests, hobbies, obsessions and that's ok.
We are beautiful, unique, a bit clumsy ( as a Baker ahem I burn or cut myself sometimes, not to mention head knocks oh those are ugly, sometimes I even forget I knocked my head and I only notice later ) I seriously think we are adorable. 😁
Not all of us are super social, I'm so introverted I basically have no friends 😆 I used to, but it's such a pain to put up the extra effort to keep up. I love my peace what can I say. They either respect my peace and cycle or get out. I'm tried of sacrificing who I really am to keep up with others.
When I was a child um I was a bit cold and smart for my age, I could speak, but I choose not to. Selective mutism as they call it. I choose to listen and learn cause I didn't want my parents to worry. Always did the stupids of things as a child without fear for my life and when I was scolded I remaind completely unresponsive. My teachers were very desperate. I noticed that thus began the journey to masking.
Well I'm free now, and you should embrace it too, be true to yourself, be yourself, enjoy what you do, filter the people around you. There are some ppl that just have to go, especially those that don't understand that you need time to recharge and that you are tried. Your family will come around it took months with mine.
Sis 🥰 it's a whole new world ahead of you so wear your adventure mantle ,and welcome to the ADHD family were we have all different kind of smarts 😉.
You are neurodivergent, nothing to be ashamed of. Many of us out here and late diagnosed
She said take your mental health seriously bc it will take you seriously whhheeeww!
It seems you attracted quite a few people here with ADHD. I'm one such a person. However, I'm not on any position to give advice but I can day that you should take care to listen to your body when you feel drained. It may mean you need a day off and, if you can, you should take a day off. Unaddressed stress lead to a nasty burnout period I am still going through and since we are neurodivergent, this burnout is not like what neurotypicals go through at all. I also suggest looking up a few channels where ADHD is the theme. That has helped me greatly in realizing that I also need help 😅.
God made you in His image and He values and cherishes you so much. I pray you draw closer to Him and have Him blow your mind on the great plans that He has for you and what more He will use you to do in the lives of many. God bless you for sharing, your vulnerability and boldness. Have a merry Christmas 😊
i ended up sliding through the cracks as an autistic/Adhd too....
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Here is a virtual hug my puppy sis❤
I’m still fighting to get medication
Praying for you ❤. Reading the Bible gives a lot of peace! Taking breaks from social media and devices in general helps also, and slows things down.
Sis, all those randoms thought is the Divine messaging you to find KNOWLEDGE OF SELF. Don’t be afraid. It’s time for your awakening. Know thy self. Asé
Found a sticker with these words
Maybe there's nothing wrong with you- maybe it's just really difficult to exist within a system that was not designed to support a spirit like yours.
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I relate. ❤
Your feelings are understandable but don’t beat yourself up over this revelation. You now understand you have ADHD and can better manage situations/struggles moving forward. ❤️
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Girl, it's this man I like to talk to about these things. His name is Jesus. He doesn't charge for his services.