Her Parents Stole And Destroyed Her Financial Future | Financial Audit

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.ย. 2023
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ความคิดเห็น • 3.6K

  • @semperumbra10
    @semperumbra10 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6929

    Damn. Out of all of the people that have been on this show, this girl has had it the worst and is still an incredibly positive human being who knows what she needs to do and how to do it. I wish nothing but the BEST for this gal and her life.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

      Agreed 😊

    • @lot2196
      @lot2196 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +101

      Yes, she's seems to have a good head on her shoulders despite what's she's gone through. Get out of San Francisco soon as possible.

    • @lightludology9081
      @lightludology9081 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +79

      I do think the woman taking care of her siblings like her own kids was also a very sad story. Being told she couldn't splurge on coffee which was her date-time with her bf or buy new clothes for the kids because of the situation her family put her in is still #1. But that doesn't invalidate this women's story. Lots of messed up stuff in the world

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      @@lightludology9081yeah, she is the one I still remember as the person I’m rooting the hardest for and admire the most. #2 behind her ain’t bad.

    • @pamelawayne4114
      @pamelawayne4114 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      san francisco is gorgeous the downtown is the troubled ares

  • @rachaelmiles9215
    @rachaelmiles9215 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1486

    My father took multiple credit cards, bills, and a cellphone plan out in my name when I was a minor. He forced me to get a job at 16 when I was an honor roll student and then took all the money I made. I am nearly 30 and am now fully in control of my identity. Using your childs identity to ruin them financial is a crime. I am happy to say I have 750$ left on my student loans and then I will debt free. The generational abuse and trauma ends with me.

    • @Peglegkickboxer
      @Peglegkickboxer 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

      Pay off the loans ASAP and finally take a breath of fresh air in freedom. It's the best feeling ever to be debt free

    • @amoose8439
      @amoose8439 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      I'm so happy for you man I'd give you a hug

    • @FireSilver25
      @FireSilver25 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      OMG that’s so awful! Glad you got away

    • @nancymathew4253
      @nancymathew4253 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Congrats on being debt free .. sorry your dad put you through so much . 💕

    • @annindia3541
      @annindia3541 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      So inspired by your story. Your persistence and strength are striking. I wish you a joyful life.

  • @fluffywarhampster
    @fluffywarhampster 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2049

    I very rarely feel bad for people on the show as most of them are victims of their own mistakes but this poor girl has just been emotional and financially abused by her family. Please do a follow up audit for her. I think I speak for all of us when I say we want nothing more than to see her winning in life and free of her fucked up parents.
    My fucking heart sank when I saw her on the verge of tears about the Spotify and hulu. I hope this girl goes and lives an amazing life to stick it to her manipulative, abusive parents.

    • @sandrasword7239
      @sandrasword7239 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

      This would actually be a great idea! Not only would we all watch, however it could give Caleb an opportunity to showcase how each person was staying on track with the budget. Then also show if they have achieved that 6 month, 12 month mark. Also readjusting budgets to hit the bigger debts harder after smaller ones have been paid off. And also showing accountability on clients end.

    • @rachaelsills8450
      @rachaelsills8450 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Follow up just dropped

    • @BanAaron
      @BanAaron หลายเดือนก่อน

      th-cam.com/video/oPCcJouNvDI/w-d-xo.html

    • @melparkes354
      @melparkes354 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@rachaelsills8450Do you know where? I can't find it

    • @electrapoptart
      @electrapoptart หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I can’t find it

  • @miriam7872
    @miriam7872 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +790

    I just NEED her to know. You are NOT responsible for the rifts that might open up after being honest with your family about the abuse you endured. Your parents fucked you over. Their instability, their addictions, their nonsense to save face, their financial mismanagement is NOT your fault.
    You sound like an awesome big sister and I sincerely hope you can get away from this messy family situation with your parents.

    • @arcticredpanda4598
      @arcticredpanda4598 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I don't know. $25 is seems worth it to avoid that family trauma.

    • @2101pat
      @2101pat 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      What stopps the parents from pulling the same thing with the younger siblings? 🙈

    • @easyveganfoodie
      @easyveganfoodie หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@arcticredpanda4598it’s $25 now but with people like this it won’t always be just $25. They will keep demanding more and more. And when you can’t provide that, you’re in the wrong.

    • @adjcsee4476
      @adjcsee4476 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@arcticredpanda4598stopping the bullshit “happy family” dynamic. She’s willing to basically let them win by not saying or doing anything.
      I get her reason, but it enables her parents to potentially do the same to her brother.

  • @ohhhlorrd
    @ohhhlorrd 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4330

    This poor girl, her parents don't deserve her as a daughter I really hope she finds clarity and happiness in her future

    • @minime9108
      @minime9108 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

      Ikr being taken advantage by her own family is overwhelming

    • @ScarletBrimstone
      @ScarletBrimstone 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

      I hope she gets pissed and cuts them off completely.

    • @lindzriddb
      @lindzriddb 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      I was in tears for her. As a mom of a 7 week old little girl I could never imagine doing these things to her! I really hope she finds healing in therapy and can develop some strong boundaries. Definitely wishing her the best.

    • @LegionCommander
      @LegionCommander 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I wish the best for her as well. This video makes me so grateful that I had good parents. This is an incredibly rough start to adulthood.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Poor girl is so codependent, she can’t even tell her little brother he has to listen to ads on Spotify. I hope the best for her but it’s going to be a struggle

  • @penitent2401
    @penitent2401 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2702

    They took out debt and placed it all under their underage daughter's name, that is illegal and the debt collectors knows it, they waited until she turned 18 to go in for collection. This is disgusting on all sides except the daughter's. The parents and all those companies willingly and knowingly participated in illegal acts to screw over this girl before she is even an adult.

    • @lisaleone5128
      @lisaleone5128 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +116

      I've seen variations on this theme, like adult children who have their identity stolen, and their parents take out loans in their name.

    • @MoonTatii
      @MoonTatii 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +62

      👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 literally!!! They should all be in jail/prison 😊

    • @julevern
      @julevern 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      assuming she is being honest

    • @Abutado
      @Abutado 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

      I had a friend who's parents did something similar, but they paid everything immediately. They did it with all of their kids so that when they became adults, their credit scores were amazing and made them unstoppable and hugely successful out of the gate and into adulthood.

    • @penitent2401
      @penitent2401 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

      @@Abutado that's very different to this case of piling on the debt in the kid's name so you can live rich with no intention of paying it back. Like getting a credit card under someone else's name, spend until it's max out and then discard it, but counting on them being family to not report you for fraud. Their credit are wrecked out of the gate into adulthood with collectors waiting to jump them the moment they turned 18.

  • @s4rest123
    @s4rest123 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +196

    OMG she doesn’t realize- if she keeps this from her siblings her parents will DO THE SAME THING TO THEM. Please help your siblings to put a freeze on their credit now before it’s too late.

    • @kc7280
      @kc7280 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      THIS!!!!

    • @mesasimonson6612
      @mesasimonson6612 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      I was just thinking « look girl I’m for it, no contact, move away, never speak to your parents again » and then I was like « shit…but she can’t just abandon her siblings to get screwed the same way »

  • @Doctaphil64
    @Doctaphil64 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +117

    She needs a mini fridge and a hot plate to keep in her room. Nobody should live without access to the simple joy of a warm meal. Caleb if you can connect us I will offer to help with that.

  • @Purrkay
    @Purrkay 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1657

    The audacity of the parents to say "your friends are trying to get you to move out as a way to control you" when the friends were just trying to save her from the parents' manipulation. 🤬

    • @haleymist09
      @haleymist09 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Aaaaand "we all think you're awful and lazy, *and your grandfather thinks so too*." Garbage! In the bin with them!

    • @SlyFox93
      @SlyFox93 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Absolutely!

    • @geoffmerritt
      @geoffmerritt 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

      Then they spend her money so she can't escape...

    • @trinitychiplove
      @trinitychiplove 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yelp mine said the same thing

    • @Zimzum93
      @Zimzum93 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      This is so common

  • @jonisnyder6011
    @jonisnyder6011 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2619

    She's actually one of the most financially literate guest I have seen on this show. She would be in a good spot for her age if she didn't deal with the burdens from her family. She has all the tools to be a huge success story!

    • @jillianjackson9365
      @jillianjackson9365 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +243

      Right!! Paid cash for school as she went, negotiated her debt down to half, and paid cash for a car by saving her stimulus checks. All good and smart moves.

    • @michellecd4722
      @michellecd4722 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She's amazing!! She'll do just fine, she's only 24 y/o and on some levels she's light years ahead of so many other 24-year-olds, she just needs more time on her own with herself & she'll kick ass on all levels!!@@jillianjackson9365

    • @jonisnyder6011
      @jonisnyder6011 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +92

      @nickbegnaud She definitely seems like she wants to pay it off faster than Caleb's plan. The fact that she knows which months have extra weeks (aka paychecks) was really impressive. She is also willing to use her PTO to payoff debt instead of taking days off. She has both the willingness and ability to tackle this debt.

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Glad to see somebody in what is supposed to be a highly financially sensible field be exactly that!!

    • @joelwillems4081
      @joelwillems4081 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      She has a high income job. She'll be fine as long as she closes out the predatory family.

  • @trash-girl84
    @trash-girl84 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +370

    Im usually annoyed by peoples long drawn out stories instead of talking about the financials but i am INVESTED in this poor girls life story 🤯🤯🤯 shes such a sweetheart! I would have brought HELL FIRE down on my parents' heads!!!!!

    • @nicolelewonkenobi
      @nicolelewonkenobi 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Over explaining is a trauma response.

    • @AlvinKazu
      @AlvinKazu 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      @@nicolelewonkenobi Usually for those of us who were NEVER LISTENED TO as children. It's because we are never listened to, validated, etc, etc, that we have to talk a lot, and express ourselves fully, so that we aren't taken out of context, etc.
      The problem is others don't care.

    • @ziggystardust3060
      @ziggystardust3060 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@AlvinKazuYes! You're so right. 👍🏻

    • @AlvinKazu
      @AlvinKazu หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ziggystardust3060 Thank you. I'm trying to work through my own childhood/life as well, therapy videos here on YT have thankfully been a great help for me, and so many others.
      Have a great day.

    • @toohda
      @toohda 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@AlvinKazuyeah bc its annoying like get to the point

  • @user-mp7jo1qn3l
    @user-mp7jo1qn3l 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +93

    Lamiya, be careful not to get in a relationship with someone like your parents. It’s a frequent pattern that my mom fell into. My mom made all the money and my dad complained. She died young. Then my dad started picking on me. I broke ties after he started doing the same to my girls. He disowned me, his only child, but I broke the generational abuse. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

  • @GreyPaladin05
    @GreyPaladin05 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1740

    I 100% sympathize with her. Grew up with a single mother who couldnt hold a job, so i worked two throughout high school to support her and my 2 sisters. After enabling her bad spending, i finally cut her of 5 years ago. Now i own a house, paid off vehicle and i graduate with my bachlors in May. You may not see this, but even with all the intial pain, it can get so much better when you take that step. God bless.

    • @AceRanger20
      @AceRanger20 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

      Congratulations! I know that’s a hard thing to cut family off, but it sounds like it was the right thing for you to do

    • @suzykennedy3559
      @suzykennedy3559 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      Congrats! I started working at 12 to pay the mortgage, took me a decade to cut off my mom and another decade to dig myself out and clean up the fall out. So glad to hear you’ve been successful :)

    • @ScarletBrimstone
      @ScarletBrimstone 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      If you see my comment, you'll see that I can relate. I'm happy to hear you succeeded in so many life goals. Keep going and live your life to the fullest!

    • @FireSilver25
      @FireSilver25 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Wow, you’re a rock star! Congratulations on everything

    • @Natalie_11188
      @Natalie_11188 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Congrats on all you’ve been able to accomplish. I’m sure you are an example to your sisters who were lucky to have you.

  • @scufflemuffin8892
    @scufflemuffin8892 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +751

    Just hope her family doesn't find this, see it, and retaliate before she has time to execute her escape plan. Absolutely disgusting of them to do this to their child. I hope she's able to find peace and stability wherever she ends up.

    • @cody5596
      @cody5596 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +126

      There’s no way her parents are watching financial TH-cam channels.

    • @greatauntlizbethg9137
      @greatauntlizbethg9137 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

      There's always the chance that so.eone in her circle will see and then the info drifts thru the social group.

    • @1KingFisher
      @1KingFisher 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@cody5596but their friends may watch this channel and send it to them when they see her.

    • @KyleHohn
      @KyleHohn 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      That’s a great point I hope she’s safe

    • @Zimzum93
      @Zimzum93 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      I bet Caleb would be smart enough to wait until she is out of the situation to even post this hopefully

  • @ianhardy5580
    @ianhardy5580 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +180

    “They can’t know…” is heartbreaking to hear being able to relate to someone that would be embarrassed to show any sign they’re struggling financially.

    • @kxjx
      @kxjx 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Horrible

  • @justkeepgoing2657
    @justkeepgoing2657 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +198

    Holy cow. I really hope she starts a TH-cam channel so we could watch her do her budget weekly. And support her through super chats if we feel so inclined

    • @harleyyy8808
      @harleyyy8808 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      That would be a great idea, honestly I think she could get a lot of money

  • @WinterIsWelcome
    @WinterIsWelcome 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +504

    Lamiya, if you haven’t already, PLEASE go no contact with your family. The level of abuse and frankly manipulation/brain washing they’ve done to make you feel as if you are responsible for them is reprehensible. Family does not get a free pass just because you’re related!

    • @sarolc
      @sarolc 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      Yes! To piggyback on your comment, those of us who have lived with emotionally abusive family often live in what recovery communities call the FOG- Fear, Obligation, Guilt. Escaping the FOG and the toxic people is everything. ❤️‍🩹

    • @Cloudyconfusion
      @Cloudyconfusion 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @@sarolcOmg I really like this “fog” example. I was just explaining to my therapist that I feel so numb I can’t even think of a way out- it’s definitely a fog

    • @sarolc
      @sarolc 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      ​@@Cloudyconfusionfor sure. I recently cut off my entire family because of my mentally ill and emotionally abusive parents and the "flying monkeys" (enablers who feed them info) who refused to allow me the peace I finally realized I deserve. Sometimes it is still so painful, BUT once I recognized and began working through my FOG, the decision to excise all the human cancer from my life became so much easier. I feel for this young woman so hard. I wish I could hug her.

    • @choreomaniac
      @choreomaniac 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Yea. They are extorting her every month. “Pay for these subscriptions or it be a shame if we made your life a living hell for that month “. It’s not about the money (though that will help) it’s about getting control of your life and standing up for yourself.

    • @pulidobl
      @pulidobl 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Or “cultural” like my in-laws throw up to us…

  • @stgermain1074
    @stgermain1074 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +664

    My worry is that by not revealing to her siblings the abuse her parents put her through, that the siblings will have the same fate. Once they can no longer sponge off her and steal her identity, they probably will start on the younger siblings, because the parents don't know how to survive on what they make.

    • @arcer63
      @arcer63 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      So much truth.

    • @kbaity13
      @kbaity13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

      This could be true, I've also seen parents basically pick a kid to screw over. Usually, the oldest or oldest daughter gets all messed up, and the others just get to live their lives.

    • @darkstrangernone1995
      @darkstrangernone1995 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yep, thats usually what happens

    • @joshlanders
      @joshlanders 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I don't disagree. I want to say that that conversation can still happen, when they're 18. Or maybe when there's 17 as their siblings you can have a conversation in person and let them know what to look out for. But I do think you still have to let them have their choice and we only know our side of this so that's going to be the same thing for the siblings. They may have a different experience with the parents because she's no longer in the house. Maybe this was something that the parents grew past, we can hope. But I would say this is still a possible conversation she doesn't have to close off contact with her siblings. She just is probably better closing off contact from her parents.

    • @AyarHawke
      @AyarHawke 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      The other risk from her siblings not knowing…is the parents turning them against her for putting boundaries or getting herself out of that toxic environment.
      Classic, and happens quite often.

  • @Makatzzz
    @Makatzzz 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    CAN WE PLEASE DONATE TO THIS LITTLE ANGEL?!
    She's not perfect (from a financially stand point) but she didn't deserve those shitty parents to run her against a wall
    She is one of the few people on this show who clearly deserves a little more help

    • @funkymcmonkey187
      @funkymcmonkey187 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'd forego some taquitos to help her out

    • @gothicanimeangel96
      @gothicanimeangel96 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      There is an irony that is... If she hadn't been screwed over, those "frivolous purchases" would be fine...

  • @Usalas56
    @Usalas56 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +79

    Fuck I thought I had it bad. When she says she only eats at work that punched me in the gut. The amount of sheer willpower she has not to eat on her weekends is insane but goes to show you the determination that she has to get out. I shed a tear for you miss. I hope you nothing but the best going forward and wish I could buy you a warm meal.

  • @CBG2895
    @CBG2895 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1265

    As a father, I can NOT imagine setting my daughter up for so much failure that she feels like the only way to have a future is to "work abroad and never come back".
    This absolutely broke my heart and I truly wish Caleb would set up something for people to donate to her to help her make a dent in the negatives and be able to breathe and see the light of a bright future. I dont necessarily condone giving someone free money, but she's lived a rough financial/home life to start her late teens/early 20's... I'm at the 40 minute mark right now and im trying not to cry.

    • @Draggonny
      @Draggonny 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

      Caleb is giving her something better than money. People who struggle to stick to a budget will still struggle financially whatever their income. By taking control of her own finances she's developing a life skill that she will benefit from for the rest of her life. It's like the metaphor "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.". It's tough but she'll get through it and be stronger for it. She just needs this guidance and support to get there. She'll get used to living below her means and then she can switch from debt repayment to savings pain free.

    • @M_SC
      @M_SC 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I know this isn’t the point but working abroad is a great experience

    • @sandycheeks1580
      @sandycheeks1580 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      😮 I will donate for her future! Damn them for what they have done to her!

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      Her parents are probably narcissists the worst fate of a child. It's worse than being an orphan truly.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      unfortunately, this is so common.

  • @DecemberForge
    @DecemberForge 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +934

    The most heartbreaking thing in this audit was the "I only get hungry at work". She's trained herself to not feel hungry so she can try and fix her situation. I'd pay for her to have a box of protein bars dropped off at her house for the weekends. I get the feeling she wouldn't eat more than that.

    • @Daiyuki117
      @Daiyuki117 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +84

      From experience, protein bars are extremely difficult to eat when you’re malnourished. It’s dense food, super dry usually, just hard to process when your digestion is mostly shut down

    • @VAC2
      @VAC2 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      🤣 these comments man.... Fucking gold.

    • @rconary
      @rconary 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      I don't know, I've never personally been hungry when I wake up. Food usually doesn't sound appetizing until at least 3 or 4 hours after I start my day. Everyone's different after all. ::shrug::

    • @pedroskipr
      @pedroskipr 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ​@@Daiyuki117 I agree, when I malnourished myself, I couldn't swallow the bars so I got the drinks instead.

    • @joanryder3842
      @joanryder3842 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@Daiyuki117dude, she’s not that deeply malnourished.

  • @Mikkirose1
    @Mikkirose1 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    Credit cards are the devil. I had a friend whose parents did this to her when she was 6 years old. (Create accounts in her name). When she got older, she got slammed with thousands of dollars of debt. The only thing that saved her was that she could prove that she was a child when it happened and therefore could not consent. I remember (when she was about ten) seeing a cable bill with her name and said to her grandmother, what? How is this bill in her name? She told me that both parents owed money and couldn't get anything in their name. I have no idea how the cable company didn't catch it. She spent about a year and a half clearing everything and still had to pay certain things because she didn't want to sue her parents. This is terrible!

    • @cathrinerhardt
      @cathrinerhardt 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I really don't know how that even works. Here in germany you have to be 18 to get any credit. It's impossible to take out loans in childrens name here. If it was possible, I'm sure, a lot of people would do that here too. People are irresponsible and inconsiderate all around the world. Sad.

  • @jillvasquez1010
    @jillvasquez1010 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

    Uggh, the "they can't know" broke me a little. This poor girl, on top of all the abuse she's suffered at her parents hands, the shame she's feeling is just heartbreaking.

  • @Mynameisnumber5
    @Mynameisnumber5 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +440

    A great example of the phrase "every kid deserves parents but not every parent deserves a kid."

  • @btackett2
    @btackett2 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1014

    As a parent this was infuriating. I feel so terrible for this young lady and she is trapped in a serious abuse loop that she can't seem to escape.

    • @chitownkidd33
      @chitownkidd33 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Same, can’t imagine doing this to my children.

    • @AdvancedCommonSense
      @AdvancedCommonSense 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      She can threat to sue them for the fraud. What they did is literally illegal.

    • @historygirl2343
      @historygirl2343 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      I hope she is able to sue them at some point. I feel so badly for her and I'm glad Caleb suggested going no contact.

    • @jennifergonzales6385
      @jennifergonzales6385 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She wont unfortunately@@AdvancedCommonSense

    • @thegreatsauna2347
      @thegreatsauna2347 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @btackett2 I am with you 💯 parents are awful and she has to remove them from her life. She deserves a better life.

  • @janebrown3587
    @janebrown3587 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +169

    And thank you Caleb for increasing her food budget. Good nutrition helps the soul as well as body and she needs to have the eggs for her ramen! And she definitely deserves treats when she wants them. 😀

  • @ziggystardust3060
    @ziggystardust3060 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    This dear girl deserves every success she's working towards. She's already a winner! What a tragic story, but what an awesome person! 💛✨

  • @crazycroney
    @crazycroney 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +728

    As someone who had a mother like this. You have to go no contact. I didn’t and my mother guilted and milked me for decades. And even after she died, thousands of dollars dealing with her debt.

    • @lakctalks2818
      @lakctalks2818 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

      My dad was the same exact way. I still don’t trust him. Thankfully he never touched my credit. But he has been stealing money from me ever since my first job at 16. I remember the day he stole 1,000 from me that I was saving up for college and spent it all on drugs and gambling. Now I’m 19 and he’s finally working and paying bills. He always wonders why I still don’t trust him and don’t care for him. He acts like he never did anything wrong. But I’m moving soon. I love my mom but I cannot live in that household anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him, even more trust him.

    • @PACMANnot
      @PACMANnot 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      ​@@lakctalks2818 It’s good that you're leaving because the fact that he doesn't acknowledge that he did anything wrong indicates that he doesn't care that he did wrong and he will do it again. Never go back if you can help it and if you do have to go back lock down all your assets and money so they can't touch it.

    • @carpediem6431
      @carpediem6431 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Some people win the birth lottery with great supportive parents and unfortunately some people are born to the opposite. The key is to realize that If your parents are pieces of $#@%, you NEED to go low/no contact. People that don’t, like the first poster, get stuck in the dysfunctional cray cray. They begin to get lost in the POS worlds of guilt, theft, shitty behaviour, “borrowing,” “supporting” never paying back…… more guilt, more shitty decisions, more shitty behaviours. Etc. etc. It will never end as damaged $%#@ humans almost never change/see the light. It’s so brutal this poor woman can’t seem to extricate herself from her abuse.

    • @lakctalks2818
      @lakctalks2818 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@PACMANnot yes I will be leaving this January 20th for college. I have a good amount of savings and have a good stream of income online. I’m only going to visit to see my brothers and my mom. Other than that I don’t plan on having him in my life at all.

    • @SarahBright
      @SarahBright 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I dont know you situation, but for what I got from her, she still wants to be part of her sibilings lives.

  • @adamweishaupt3409
    @adamweishaupt3409 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +841

    She broke Caleb, and everyone else's, heart at 38:14. So honest. She could have BS'd and said "okay" and then not canceled. Instead, she allowed everyone to see how vulnerable she was.

    • @bluexroses414
      @bluexroses414 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +145

      Sounds like she's been doing some difficult work in therapy, and it shows

    • @sp-tn9yt
      @sp-tn9yt 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +97

      Agreed. I am tearing up listening to her being so raw and honest. Such a brave girl. She deserves better

    • @Spankmepink
      @Spankmepink 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Probably my fav guest on the show so far.

    • @Idontknowjack-
      @Idontknowjack- 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      This is the only person on his show that I have honestly felt sorry for.

    • @Alex-zi1nb
      @Alex-zi1nb 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No enough work. Doesn’t understand boundaries

  • @terrypen
    @terrypen หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    She should file a police report on both her parents and file lawsuits for fraud!!! Both of her parents need to have fraud lawsuits brought against them!!! I keep hearing about a book called Boundaries that I have not read but this sounds like everything I've heard about it.!!! Your siblings NEED to know what is happening so you can protect them from having the same thing that has happened to you!!!

  • @jin394
    @jin394 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    You can tell how much shame and guilt she carries for her parents wrongdoings. The spotify and hulu problem shows that. She's conflict avoidant and my heart goes out to her. I've had similar conflict avoidance and shame internalized too. Not for the same reasons or nearly as bad parents but I get how hard it is, when it feels like any amount of standing up for yourself will result in others being hurt so you just avoid. That, coupled with the fact that her mom sounds amazing at showing a good face around others probably make it seem to her like maybe it is her fault that her mom turns around only for her. I'm glad she is in therapy. I hope she is able to heal and as she said, you can always pick up the pieces.

  • @riacastaneda9202
    @riacastaneda9202 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2240

    Caleb does a great job of validating and listening but also holding accountable, such an art

    • @CalebHammer
      @CalebHammer  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +532

      I really appreciate it ❤️ I want her life to be 100x better

    • @DaltonRayfinance
      @DaltonRayfinance 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      @@CalebHammerthis channel has grown so quickly I’ve just been watching in silence but congratulations Caleb you deserve it for all the hard work

    • @ryutou-ki4dl
      @ryutou-ki4dl 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      youre very good at stopping yourself from digging harder into people when you know you should stop which is another reason your good at it @@CalebHammer

    • @kimberbell4238
      @kimberbell4238 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      ​@@CalebHammerthankfully she found someone like you! I want to see her update in 6 months to a year!!!

    • @ltltornado3337
      @ltltornado3337 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      As a former addictions counselor, I agree! He’d be really good with this skill in social services

  • @Aaron_Ada
    @Aaron_Ada 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +421

    Shes smart, shes hard working, shes personable, shes organized, shes goal oriented. A.) I would hire her in a heart beat. B.) Shes going to make it. I would be extremely proud to have her as my daughter.

    • @eric9604
      @eric9604 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Judging someone by an hour clip? Weirdo

    • @ashleykathryn9038
      @ashleykathryn9038 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      ​@@eric9604Are you her dad? Lol

  • @ursamellis264
    @ursamellis264 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    Lamiya, as someone who moved abroad to run away from emotional and mental stress, please be really careful. My lack of internal stability and well-being made being an expat so hard and ended up requiring me to eventually come home just to be well again. This experience really helped me realise how important it is to focus on moving toward something positive rather than running away from something negative. If you decide to go abroad, I recommend having a really solid foundation set up for yourself wherever you go and to have the supports (friends, therapy, whatever) to navigate the transition and establishment period, however long that takes. 💜

  • @RisaDaisy
    @RisaDaisy 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    I am ROOTING for this girl. I feel so sorry for how she’s been financially abused and she is still trucking along. She seems really sweet and deserving of a better future. Sure, she may have some habits to clean up but she is being more responsible than her parents ever were. I wish her the best!

  • @svmmome
    @svmmome 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +364

    How stressed she got when caleb suggested cutting out the 25 dollars made me so sad, these people are horrible to put this much pressure on someone over 25 dollars.

    • @sandycheeks1580
      @sandycheeks1580 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      😮 I will donate for her future! Damn them for what they have done to her!

  • @jayadams6910
    @jayadams6910 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +478

    My heart just sank, when she said "I cant afford for them to know" . I hope she garners the strength. Amazing show as usual Caleb.

    • @ripcord97
      @ripcord97 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Agreed

    • @choreomaniac
      @choreomaniac 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hope she reads this. She is NOT RESPONSIBLE for causing rifts. Stop paying for the subscriptions. You are not their parents, they are yours. A 14 year old can pay for Spotify or listen to ads.
      And they do know how you are doing financially. You are not hiding it from them. They put you in the position so they are aware of your debts. They steal your money and put themselves in the middle of your borrowing with your grandfather. They know exactly how much you have and make because they need to know how much they can squeeze out of you.
      You don’t know what THEY have or make! They don’t want any one to know including your school which is why they wouldn’t let you put them on FAFSA. It is likely because they have lots of hidden money and can easily afford cars and medical and dental bills and subscriptions but are bullying you into paying for it because they think you are weak and easily manipulated. And you are accepting it. DO NOT ACCEPT IT. You are worth more.

    • @foobarFR
      @foobarFR 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

      That simple phrase just broke me like a scene in a movie or something. This is just a mountain of useless, undeserved emotional pain that is inflicted on a young woman when she's just building her life.

    • @OhMaryJo
      @OhMaryJo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      The parents will do it to the other children -- if they haven't already!

    • @codyhelms1673
      @codyhelms1673 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I just got to that part and my heart just broke.

  • @Itsfuckind
    @Itsfuckind 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Blocked my whole family except baby sister and it’s pushed me to be more financially conscious and I ended up finding this channel and working on it everyday

  • @armanshoraka4569
    @armanshoraka4569 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    The 25 dollar fee to keep her parents at bay is so relatable 😢 I’ve been there, just keeping the status quo. I hope she’s doing better now.

  • @nf1619
    @nf1619 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +330

    Her parents are instrumentalising her. They view her as an extension of themselves, no respect for her own agency. Absolutely disgusting. No contact is the only way. My garbage parents were of the same caliber as hers. Disgusting.

    • @barbararepko4824
      @barbararepko4824 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I had to do the same with my toxic parents.

    • @FireSilver25
      @FireSilver25 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      So sorry. Similarity situation here. I wasn’t able to even have my own opinions and preferences until I was 33.

    • @KitKat10281
      @KitKat10281 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I'm sorry for anyone who has parents they've had to cut off!

    • @Crijoe
      @Crijoe 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Right?! I want to teleport into her body and tell off her family. Then switch back. They're the worst!

    • @sailorscorpio27
      @sailorscorpio27 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Same. Finally cut the cord a few weeks ago, this episode hit hard

  • @catherineclaire7429
    @catherineclaire7429 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +467

    After talking about her dad routinely going through her purse while she slept and then emotionally manipulating her by saying her mother would be upset with her, she says, “yeah, that’s where the PTSD comes in…and to be honest that’s like the lesser of evils.” That was horrifying! I can’t imagine what other disgusting behavior she’s alluding to. My heart hurts for this woman. She deserves so much better. I wanted Caleb to pause the audit, offer her a hug and a space to cry it out. I totally understand the $25 for her little brother’s subscriptions being worth it to avoid her family’s drama. So sad. I wish her the best life going forward.

    • @SarahBright
      @SarahBright 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Yes, the 25... she is paying them off for mental peace.

    • @cosmicknight4665
      @cosmicknight4665 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I feel like her mother is the real monster

    • @craigfurrow7977
      @craigfurrow7977 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right? F her parents.

    • @Teaorwine
      @Teaorwine 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Yeah, I don't think Caleb picked up on the subtext there. Clearly her father is a monster on multiple levels.

    • @catherineclaire7429
      @catherineclaire7429 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@cosmicknight4665 they both are

  • @TheProductiveHomemaker
    @TheProductiveHomemaker 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

    I was you, 10 years ago. It gets better, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Now, my husband and I live debt free, mortgage free, and are raising our 4 children with a stable and functional household. Im rooting for you ❤

    • @lifeonlilac
      @lifeonlilac 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I had a similar story, so proud of you! 20+ years later I'm also living in freedom and passing that to our kids. It ends with me!

  • @alejandrovasquez7288
    @alejandrovasquez7288 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    She's such a sweetheart and her family doesn't deserve her. Tears down my checks on her final thought. I'm wishing nothing but the best for her.

  • @beckypetersen2680
    @beckypetersen2680 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +407

    I can see that this girl is super tender-hearted. She's also an easy mark for her family. Moving away - far away-- would probably be the absolute best thing for her. Go, girl! You can do this!

    • @Everythingsucks438
      @Everythingsucks438 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes! I hope she's able to move either in the US for a small change or abroad.

  • @madddoll8685
    @madddoll8685 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +769

    I hope you read thissssss: I AM PROUD OF YOU. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY. You totally got this lady!! You should be thrilled about the steps you have taken to extricate yourself from that toxic household & that fact you are making something of yourself. You have already accomplished so much and that is amazing. KEEP GOING.

  • @laurtheonly4980
    @laurtheonly4980 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I went no contact over a year ago with a toxic parent and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. The guilt and fear that were hanging over my head are gone. I wish I’d done it a decade ago.

  • @MsTrter
    @MsTrter 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This girl is reminding me of my own reality. I come from a big family. My mother always guilt trip me into spending money for everyone because she managed to put me to university on her own. I am tired of bailing out everyone. My mom's house mortgage. Debts due to gambling, debts due to drug addictions, bail money, new phones, etc. Everything for everyone. I never gone on any holiday since 2014. I am so fucking tired. You and me both girl omg 😢

  • @opusbot
    @opusbot 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +480

    When she started crying about the hulu and Spotify it broke my fucking heart. I grew up in almost an exactly mirrored situation. The fear of causing rifts and everything, not only that but losing contact with your siblings.... I empathize so hard with her. I am slowly climbing out of my debt (mine was not as bad as hers) and after growing up with a financial abusive household, the spending can get out of control because you just feel like you can finally spend money on yourself.
    I have you in my thoughts my dear. Just know you aren't alone ❤❤❤

    • @somerandomviewer7803
      @somerandomviewer7803 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      Yes! That’s what people fail to see it’s not loosing contact with the toxic ones it’s loosing contact with the ones that you love and when it’s a sibling you don’t want them to be the next one taken advantage of.

    • @arcticredpanda4598
      @arcticredpanda4598 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What do you mean by mirrored? Somebody was paying for your Spotify?

    • @opusbot
      @opusbot หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@arcticredpanda4598 Oh no, my wording was wrong. I was the one paying for everything. So, I was trying to say it was like looking in a mirror.

  • @gaberosado1901
    @gaberosado1901 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +308

    I feel for this girl. My girlfriend's mom used her to open two credit cards and racked up almost $8,000 buying all the stupid shit she wanted, pretending it was to build her credit. It's absolutely despicable what some parents will do to their children.

    • @michiganmama562
      @michiganmama562 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      That’s so sad! My husband added our daughter (she’s 7, by the way) to his credit card, to set her up in life. She already has a credit score in the 700’s, she’s been on it over a year. It’s a credit card for gas only (the only credit card we have) it’s paid in full every month. He wants to give her a great jump in life. And, he will keep her on it indefinitely; I’m sure. I couldn’t imagine doing exactly the opposite to cause her irreparable damage to start her life. That’s so disgusting as a parent. Just gross.

    • @RighteousJ
      @RighteousJ 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@michiganmama562 my son is 3 and we set up a trust fund for him, but I honestly didn't know I could do that.
      Thank you for the anecdote - I'll be looking into this more. The goal his mother and I have for him is to set him up as well as possible, and this concept is directly in line with this.

    • @michiganmama562
      @michiganmama562 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@RighteousJ If you need some more information, she’s just added as an “Authorized User” which only required her name, and #SS. She received her own card to that account, we just immediately destroyed the card. But all purchases/payoffs also affect her credit!

    • @sarahko1014
      @sarahko1014 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same except my ex bfs mom. No bad blood between, he genuinely just had some extensive issues because of this. He never told anyone no . It was infuriating because I wanted to help him since i’m the opposite of a pushover. We were both 18 and only working part time in school and his mom was always asking for money from him. $20-300 here and there multiple times a week sometimes . certainly adds up. Always. She was a single mom (though she had a good job) so in a way I think he felt obligated to. She would just buy random shit. Like special fruit cutters and BS. It would be half his paycheck. she would never pay him back and I literally begged him to stand up for himself.

  • @BlurVelius
    @BlurVelius 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I'm a newer viewer, I've only been watching (binging) for about a week now, so I've been working backwards through the episodes. With that being said though, this was such a breath of fresh air, someone actually willing to listen and already trying to do something to change their situation? I was starting to wonder if people like that exist anymore. I can't wait to see or hear about an update on her! I wish her the best in her life more so than anyone else I've ever seen on the show (because she earned my wish).

    • @orls9068
      @orls9068 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Im a newer viewer too, working backwards too, really liked her and it indeed was such a breath of fresh air
      She needed and appreciated the help, she got fucked over by her parents but she's not bitter, FairPlay to her

  • @SarahBright
    @SarahBright 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Most of the videos made me grateful for my self-control, this one made me grateful for my parents.

  • @FineAntsFinance
    @FineAntsFinance 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +470

    Horrible to see parents hurt their kid's financial future so badly. I hope she gets far away from that situation.
    She should separate every piece of her finances from her parents if she hasn't already, and she should HEAVILY consider a restraining order. Financial abuse is abuse just as much as physical abuse. I'd cancel Spotify then keep a record of how they retaliate.

    • @Megabot_6000
      @Megabot_6000 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      It doesn't seem like she's only being financially abused. Seems like there's emotional abuse too, like she feels she can't do what she wants and needs to do.

    • @FineAntsFinance
      @FineAntsFinance 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Megabot_6000 Definitely. I just edited my comment to include the fact that she should consider a restraining order

    • @NapoleonicWargaming
      @NapoleonicWargaming 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      She should press charges for fraud

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@NapoleonicWargaming100% she should press charges. If your family member was a thief who was breaking into neighbors homes and stealing their purse, you should report them. Same concept applies when you are the victim

    • @MisterNightfish
      @MisterNightfish 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      She has to get away from this abuse but it's so hard for people to cut ties if they grew up like this. I only understand it on an intellectual level because if anyone tried even one of those things with me, I'd just laugh and walk away, but it's not that easy for people that had childhoods like these.

  • @christinemcpherson8891
    @christinemcpherson8891 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +128

    I have never understood someone paying $25 for something so much. She is pretty much paying that amount to aviod verbal abuse. Only people that deal with sick toxic family members can truly understand.

  • @pastasauceAYya
    @pastasauceAYya 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    THIS is the one episode I can't wait to see a follow up. She is so positive and forgiving even after all she's been through. She deserves so so much.

  • @brucebanner8651
    @brucebanner8651 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Ive never wanted to give a stranger a hug so badly in my entire life 😔.

  • @ScottHess
    @ScottHess 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +261

    It’s so sad that she doesn’t want them to know, but the problem is that they don’t care. So she is suffering, but they are not.

    • @risumatsunoki7671
      @risumatsunoki7671 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

      As someone in a very similar position (with a greater half of my family), I do understand why she doesn't want them to know. This is not about the family caring or sparing family's feelings, it's about saving yourself. Those are the guys who will shred you into pieces like a bunch of alligators as soon as they see any sign of weakness, the'll be totally using it to keep manipulating and screwing things to their advantage. I wish her all the success she can possibly have getting free...

    • @nine9nine9
      @nine9nine9 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      That's the tough part. When you tell your siblings, and they do NOT care. It is such a heart breaking feeling. Realising how little they care for you.

  • @AshtonClopton11
    @AshtonClopton11 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +244

    I had a medical bill from when I was a minor that hadn’t been paid and I told the collections I’d sue them if they contacted me again because I was a minor and it was not my responsibility to pay that. Worked!

    • @Cloudyconfusion
      @Cloudyconfusion 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Dental is not a normal medical bill. Vision and dental are sadly considered voluntary treatments in america aside from a handful of procedures that are covered if you have dental or vision insurance… getting braces or something else dentally is viewed as any other purchase someone might make, which yes, kids can make purchases. American healthcare is crap

    • @gidgetgetscrafty
      @gidgetgetscrafty 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

      ​@@Cloudyconfusionif she was underage, and can't legally sign a contract though. IDK.

    • @iceblade6330
      @iceblade6330 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Not a lawyer, but pretty sure minors that are not emancipated can’t legally sign contracts. So… yeah. Now if she accepted responsibility once she hit 18, not sure where that goes.

    • @Cloudyconfusion
      @Cloudyconfusion 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@iceblade6330 it’s a purchase… same way as if they bought something off Amazon, decided to buy a dress for homecoming on payments. The government certainly allows minors to go into contracts for student loans and debt and also choosing what university they will go to and pay for… sadly american healthcare views most dental care as an elective procedure so it’s different than regular medical bills. That’s also why dental isn’t covered in basic work healthcare but if you’re lucky you get it on a separate plan to your healthcare but again it’s not usually as a part of it.

    • @StarWarsomania
      @StarWarsomania 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Cloudyconfusion not sure why you are bringing up the braces. Those are something she got as an adult. Clearly. As you can see that they have not yet moved her teeth into position.
      And, you know, at $450 a month minimum payment, she’s only been paying on them for 16 months. As a 24yo.
      And no, minors cannot sign contracts. Which one would need to sign in order to get dental work done. That would never have been held up in a court of law.

  • @Kittongrl720
    @Kittongrl720 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    I know I’m a month late to this episode but…. I LOVE her!!! Lamiya seems genuinely innocent and sweet. I want to adopt her and try to be the mother she needs and deserves. I hope Caleb has her back on so we can all celebrate her success because I truly believe that this young lady is determined to break the cycle of abuse in which she was raised so that she can begin to live her amazing life.

  • @renatal1972
    @renatal1972 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I can relate to her. My step father took my car that my dad gave me and totaled it so I couldn’t have freedom. I started working at 14 and he was stealing my money. I only stayed until my brother came of age and I left.

  • @ninchemarie
    @ninchemarie 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +100

    the fact that “the first four years of school i was living at home” is an adequate and understandable response to “why have you been in school for 6 years?” is just so ☹️

  • @christamanwaring5794
    @christamanwaring5794 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +320

    This girl. If I have rooted for anyone Caleb has audited, it’s this girl. I also feel like she’s the one that will be most driven to follow his plan. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

  • @alexandergonzie1200
    @alexandergonzie1200 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I've had 3 people in my life manipulate the hell out of me, to get my money, and shockingly one of them was my own mother. She'd even put bills under my name in order to get out of not paying for them if she couldn't make payments. As well as another illegal scheme which would have put me in prison if anyone got wind of it, all because of my mother not wanting to work. I know what this woman's been through.

  • @DSUTTON93
    @DSUTTON93 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    This is one person I legitimately feel bad for. She was set up for failure by her parents' hands. So sad. We are rooting for your success girl!!

  • @Angela-ne9cy
    @Angela-ne9cy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +231

    I just wanna hug this girl. She's had a nightmare childhood with abusive parents AND grandfather! Now she's slowly learning how to financially educate herself but doing it with her parents still abusing her. I can't imagine!!! Considering her circumstances, she's so insightful and seems like an amazing human. Keep going, girl!!!!!! You will overcome all this bullshit and be financially (and emotionally) free.

    • @jerrystauffer2351
      @jerrystauffer2351 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      I don't know if the grandfather is abusive. We just have her lying mother's word on his opinions. I suspect he gave her the car and mom stole the money. "Your grandfather is disappointed in you" is a classic lie.

    • @dewandavis477
      @dewandavis477 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      i was about to say the same thing 😭

  • @kmac6404
    @kmac6404 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +315

    Honestly I am super proud of this girl for moving toward the process of completely cutting ties with her toxic family. She has already done a great job. Seeking therapy, moving out, almost completing her bachelor's degree, getting a high paying job. She is definitely making moves!
    She still has a long way to go with learning how to cook, learning how to curb emotional spending, and completely cutting ties with her family. But she has made so much progress! And props to Caleb for holding her accountable for her own decisions and calling her out. It is a hard line to walk.
    I am rooting for you! Best of luck!

  • @Homeboy174
    @Homeboy174 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    The dental thing happened to me also. I called the dentist I used as a child. And they said your parents never paid the bill, so now you have to. Upstate ny

  • @breevestal
    @breevestal 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    These parents need to go to jail for fraud.

  • @meganbailey6511
    @meganbailey6511 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +294

    Experiencing extended periods of poverty and being tricked and used by your parents can create a serious wound. I wish Lamiya all the freedom, joy, and expansion that life has to offer! The world is her oyster and she’s a very smart girl. She’s going to do amazing! Her sharing and reaching out for help is incredible in itself.

    • @DenaliOsnaya
      @DenaliOsnaya 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yup, my sister and I basically stole our documents back and basically skipped town and went into hiding for a while. She might need to do the same unfortunately. These type of people won’t stop until they find you for a while.

  • @NewAdventuresOfUs
    @NewAdventuresOfUs 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +277

    This episode is so sad, but compared to a lot of guests, she isn't dumb. She had a bad start and has a lot to overcome emotionally, but I have hope she can pull through this.
    Early congratulations to her on the degree! Finish strong!

  • @lj9524
    @lj9524 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    OMG this sweet young women was so abused by her parent💔. I pray she can learn to say “NO” and set boundaries with her dysfunctional family. I pray she can get out of debt and financially secure. Bless her sweet soul🙏

  • @erikaashton2626
    @erikaashton2626 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I 100% get where she's coming from with her purchases. My parents also started me out with thousands of dollars in debt. Took me until I was 25 to get out of the red. Sometimes when life gives you nothing and takes and takes and takes, you can feel a little better with a snack. If her parents and my parents didn't steal our money we would have all the money in the world for Wendys without guilt. Sadly that's not the case and we are stuck with the bill. Hell, my mom stole my tax returns as a "this is a charge for us raising you" when I couldn't afford to eat. After that I started to hoard more items to feel like something was mine.
    Long story short: DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR KIDS!

  • @danikeebler1662
    @danikeebler1662 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +147

    Often times DA abuse survivors are questioned, "why didn't you just pack up and leave?". This is why. Abuser are not willing to just let their punching bags/meal tickets leave. The laws are just now starting to reconize the financial abuse that is so commom and the reason why they stay. I am glad Caleb upper her food spending budget....buy the eggs/protein you need/want. People get to eat before the creditors get paid.

    • @shroomer3867
      @shroomer3867 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Here's the question, I don't know specifically how the legal system works, but wouldn't she be able to sue for all of this damage? Like sure, a lot of it is murky, but if she paid a good lawyer, there's just so much shit there, that the only thing they would have to do is just grab it from the heap with a bucket and throw until they see what sticks you know?

    • @Salman-nu6nf
      @Salman-nu6nf 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@shroomer3867 I don't think she would be able to go through with that right now especially since she doesn't wanna cause any riffs in the family. Her situation was horrible, I can understand if she wants to be as far from the source of her trauma.

    • @shroomer3867
      @shroomer3867 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Salman-nu6nf I know, just something for the near future when she gathers and musters enough strength. Sorry I responded a bit emotionally because the situation she is in is absolutely unfair.

    • @Omar-kl3xp
      @Omar-kl3xp 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@shroomer3867it is easy to say sue your parents but harder to do it especially when siblings may also be effected by this ,also she is going through trauma and PTSD ,I don’t think she should spend more time in the drama that can potentially messed her up more ,it is better sometimes to move on in order to have peace ,and for her I don’t think suing her parents will give her peace .

  • @KP-sg9fm
    @KP-sg9fm 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    She needs to dispute any debts that began before she was 18, children cannot legally be held accountable for debt or agreements signed under 18

  • @lyndsiecollis
    @lyndsiecollis หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    This poor girl... I wish Caleb had been a bit more patient with her and really listened to what she was saying at times. For example, he didn't fully hear her at first when she said she was getting her last year of school paid for by FAFSA, and it took a minute for her to explain she couldn't use her parents for FAFSA in her first years of school. I'm glad he heard her out about the spotify/hulu thing, but tbh he came across a bit judgemental at first. These abusive relationships are extremely difficult and it's clear she's still working through her trauma. I'm glad he picked up on it and adapted towards the end, but sometimes the "entertainment value" of getting super mad at people and yelling at them doesn't quite hit when the person is clearly getting screwed over by others and doing her best given the circumstances. 😢

  • @sastov1681
    @sastov1681 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My heart goes out to this young lady. Similar situation happened to myself and younger brother. Started adult life with debt created by parent. I am glad you have the courage to speak up.

  • @katelynnpahopin4388
    @katelynnpahopin4388 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +260

    Totally get this episode. My husbands parents stole his identity starting in high school and the minute he left for college they stopped paying their bills and quit their jobs because “he left them” and they wanted to destroy him after he cut them off. We are still trying to recover from it 6 years later! I emphasize with her so much! ❤️

    • @Kittongrl720
      @Kittongrl720 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      😮 How do they even call themselves “parents”?
      Your and the young lady’s stories are proof that not every one should be parents.

    • @triswilsful
      @triswilsful 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Your husband is lucky to have your support. I hope you and he have all the success in the world. ❤

    • @thanosthemadtitan5518
      @thanosthemadtitan5518 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Holy shit, the level of evil is insane. Unfortunately I've heard of lots of cases like this.

    • @w8what575
      @w8what575 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Look into the straw man thing…a lot of bs out there about it but it outlines the laws u can use with creditors and collections that can reduce the debt significantly if not completely that they put into place to protect consumers from illegal collection practices …..most debt is accumulated through fraudulent practices and unless u know the laws that protect u and the steps u must take with these people in order to make them leave u alone and stop stealing from ur financial self, they’ll never stop and get worse cuz they know u don’t know those laws…example….credit consolidation companies that charge u to get ur creditors to stop harassing u etc….all they do is get u to agree and stop paying ur debts.,..cause them to go into a nonpayment status and sent over to a collection department…who will try threatening u etc…then try settling for a lesser amount and then eventually they sell that debt to a collection agency for a fraction of the total debt….at that point, according to the law, u no longer have to pay that debt. U never signed into a contract with the collection agency…until u answer that call and agree that u owe a debt to such and such company and acknowledge that they’re trying to collect that debt.,..they don’t tell u the bought that debt and don’t actually work as a contracting company with that first company that u did sign contracts with….so the debt consolidation company will contact all ur debts and either get rid of the debt legally…or get them to settle for a much smaller amount that they pay off themselves and then collect the money from u as a one lump sum larger payment to eliminate all the smaller payments per month and the amount doesn’t grow…u are unaware that they settled and eliminated that debt u had by using laws u can use urself and save all the money on ur own ….they figure up the total debts and break it down to monthly payments that u can manage for a certain amount of time…..but u still end up paying the original amount owed because ur unaware of ur rights as a consumer .,.the concept of interest should be illegal and is the cause of the collapse of civilizations throughout history….know ur rights and use the laws …don’t do anything over the phone and never agree that u are who u are and that u owe a debt to anyone who calls…do it all through writing and the mail…it makes it legal at that point….don’t leave mail unanswered …if they send u a letter that says if u pay it off for lesser within 30 days reply back with a lesser amount then their offer accompanied with a check for the amount h offered….if that check gets cashed the debt is settled and paid legally…they can try coming after u in the future but can’t legally cuz they agreed to the contract u gave them by cashing that check….I’ve seen it work in court and people walk away with no debt because the financial companies tried to take advantage of our ignorance and the person wasn’t ignorant

  • @sidra162
    @sidra162 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +943

    Only 10 minutes in and I am so sorry for this girl. Can't imagine growing up in that kind of an environment.
    Watched the whole episode now and really rooting for her. Just wish she wouldn't feel the need to shield her siblings but rather be able to share with them and have them as a support system. She just needs some people who care about her too. I really hope she makes it.

    • @Wigitfive
      @Wigitfive 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      I only made it 7 minutes before i had a physical reaction to the disgusting behavior of her parents....

    • @Megabot_6000
      @Megabot_6000 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      You're blessed to have a good family environment. Sadly too many people don't deserve to be caretakers.

    • @3rdsidetriangle
      @3rdsidetriangle 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      We are only hearing her side. But she is describing a narcissistic father. Doesn't mind other people's feelings or life's but their own gain. The mother idk. Typically you will have the enabler that doesnt want to fight so allows the behavior happen. And there always a person that sees the truth. In a family dynamic the other call them the problem but they see how horrible the situation is. For some reason this person happens to be the oldest of the siblings. We dont know why. But I can be sure she is the oldest. Poor girl I hope see finds value within her and happiness.

    • @nathanrainey7209
      @nathanrainey7209 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I couldn’t make it 10 min. Disgusting

    • @cgreen399
      @cgreen399 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      At a point (after the end of your teens) you stop using 1/2 ages

  • @kimieatsu
    @kimieatsu 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I just want to say that if you’re very depressed as a person being able to deliver food straight to your door is the most dangerous thing available.

  • @TrashMommi
    @TrashMommi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    I actually know something! Medical registrar here! If the patient: even a minor, does not have insurance or is not covered by parent insurance or IF the parent does NOT have insurance, the responsibility of payment falls on the patient: even a minor.

    • @debbieharris1628
      @debbieharris1628 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I know you wouldn't joke about this but are you serious?! A minor, not their parents, can be held responsible for the care that their parents are legally obligated to provide?!

    • @amanda.b
      @amanda.b หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Are you serious?? That’s some crazy BS!

    • @TrashMommi
      @TrashMommi หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@debbieharris1628No joke. I work at a hospital.

    • @TrashMommi
      @TrashMommi หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@amanda.bit is iiiiinsane

    • @debbieharris1628
      @debbieharris1628 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@TrashMommi that's just deplorable and sad 😢 it must be awful whenever that happens to someone you're working with

  • @minorcadence1
    @minorcadence1 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +117

    Dave Ramsay has a lot of good calls about this topic. He recommends a book called 'boundaries' by Henry Cloud, and says that children aren't responsible for their parent's financial problems. It's so hard to say 'no' to a parent, but don't forget, your parents survived before you came along.

    • @mariefarless-nc2ml
      @mariefarless-nc2ml 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thanks for the book recommendation!

  • @JamieAmos
    @JamieAmos 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +280

    I simply can NOT imagine bringing a child into this world only to do this to them. Episodes like this make me so grateful for my parents, even if they didn't teach me to be completely financially literate - they sure didn't absolutely f*ck my credit and my future. Really rooting for her and have so much faith she can turn all of this around!

    • @jessitabonita
      @jessitabonita 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Agreed! That's why it's good to see more people embracing being childfree! There are too many people who just exist through life and aren't intentional with their choices, only to then be financially devastated and in turn inflict such harm on their children out of a weird resentment or regret of having them in the first place. Such a shame.

    • @sheenmccart14
      @sheenmccart14 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      100% this. We were low income for a good portion of my childhood but my parents would never have done this sort of thing.

    • @NinjitsuHiboshi
      @NinjitsuHiboshi 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Her situation is so relatable…this is what we went through as kids…I had to teach myself everything, it was a difficult life but I’m glad I’m still here, I didn’t give up.

  • @ljmeyerful
    @ljmeyerful 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    ABROAD? My goodness! Listen to Caleb. No need to get that far away from the garbage.
    Be careful of international relationships who may want to take advantage of your situation! Happened to too many friends.
    Just get yourself settled and debt free. Remove toxic people from your life!

  • @mikaylaj99
    @mikaylaj99 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I am rooting for you! You got this. Genuinely. Believe in yourself, it is so obvious that you have the willpower to do so. I hope that you come back on the show eventually. Wishing you the best always.

  • @connord8359
    @connord8359 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +415

    I just now watched this, and i almost shed a tear, specifically at 38:25. That was heart breaking, this is the moment where you can really see the emotional/financial abuse is taking place. The fact that she is willing to spend money just so there isn’t any conflict is heart wrenching. I hope she does well in the future. She’s too sweet for this world.

    • @Neth91
      @Neth91 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      yes exactly at that moment i paused the video and went into the comments to see if anyone talks about it. its so sad.. but she should tell her brother about this otherwise he might get used like this too :o

    • @eleo_b
      @eleo_b 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      And her knowing her brother is still under their influence. She wants to make sure they don't go out and take out loans in his name for things like Spotify.

    • @AniLehem
      @AniLehem 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      This really broke my heart. I really feel for her and understand the will to avoid conflicts with this kind of people. I would have let it go immediately if I were Caleb in the conversation

    • @teniechac9556
      @teniechac9556 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have a haunting feeling that siblings after her, especially a boy, won't encounter this same treatment ​@@Neth91

  • @TheZchristina97
    @TheZchristina97 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

    This poor girl. Parents who steal money for their children are absolutely unforgivable.

  • @Thao22
    @Thao22 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    My parents did this and are still doing this to my siblings and I. It's sad and sucks that parents do this to their kids, very heartless.

  • @isettevaldivia9511
    @isettevaldivia9511 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I’ve never wanted to see an update as much as hers! She’s doing great and i Can see all the strength others have tried to push down, shining through. The only thing I’m scared of would be her parents using some of these things she said against her and putting her in another stressful situation

  • @betterwithrum
    @betterwithrum 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +275

    #emotional #damage Can we get a GoFundMe started for this poor kid? Caleb, seriously, if you start a GoFundMe for her I'l kick in.

    • @NYG5
      @NYG5 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Me too

    • @doug2496
      @doug2496 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same

    • @uteruspower1862
      @uteruspower1862 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sadly, it would probably just end up in the hands of her shitty family. She is not emotionally capable of cutting them off financially and asserting herself, not yet at least.

    • @kryllin
      @kryllin 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yep

    • @stlaroche8456
      @stlaroche8456 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I just watched the video and suggested the same. I had not seen your post but I would love to donate and help support her life projects. She deserves it.

  • @choreomaniac
    @choreomaniac 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +105

    She’s a textbook example of how the “good deed” of her grandpa giving her a “great deal” on a car can ruin her life. She didn’t need a car and spend all her savings. And the repairs and accidents and insurance etc only made it worse.

    • @bluexroses414
      @bluexroses414 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

      The way she described it, it sounds like mom was the middle man in all this. I'd be willing to bet grandpa just gifted her the car but mom manipulated the situation to get money for herself and privileges over the car for her deadbeat husband. These people have found every way to possible to ruin their daughter's life for their own selfish purposes.

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They scammed her into buying a car for her pile of human garbage father

    • @joemachine4714
      @joemachine4714 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      As described in the 90s book, "The Millionaire Next Door".

    • @SolemnStacker
      @SolemnStacker 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Never buy a car from friends or family. At least make sure to get a pre-purchase inspection first if you do, check the KBB value, and don't feel pressure to overpay or buy something you don't really want.
      I learned fairly quickly not to sell to close friends or family. Sell them a solid vehicle at a good price, then 6 months later "Hey buddy, the (blank part) just failed and car is at my Mechanics. blah blah blah, blah, blah.........", trying to make you feel bad and say offer to pay some/all of the repair costs, after they've ran the car into the ground for 6 months with zero maintenance.
      That's when you kindly tell them to get Phuct

  • @hayleyemma7953
    @hayleyemma7953 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Im glad she's getting help right now. She seems aware of her situation, seems aware of her pitfalls ( and instances that weren't her fault), she's in therapy. She seems ready to finally tackle this head on and I'm so proud of her for taking these steps! Family abuse is so difficult to work yourself out of and I'm hoping she's improving her life. All the best!!!

  • @patulm
    @patulm 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Good lord,, this poor girl. I wish i was local and my wife and i could give her an easier less expensive place to catch up. This poor kid needs and deserves the helping hand that her family should be providing. I am so disgusted by her family, it is maddening.

  • @staceypadron1051
    @staceypadron1051 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +91

    So gross that people rent out rooms in their house for hundreds of dollars and don’t give full access to the kitchen.

    • @M_K_M_K_M_K
      @M_K_M_K_M_K 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      Right? Also, honestly.. her family member brings her cake when they have a party. Sounds kinda nice, but heck…. Invite the girl ❤

    • @casadekreeftpetservices8222
      @casadekreeftpetservices8222 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      They may just choose not to use it. Remember she’s rightfully fragile and you know she won’t ask for things that will benefit her as she’s never been told she’s worthy.

  • @FRBSUWOO
    @FRBSUWOO 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    the most relatable audit to me so far: grew up in a single mother household and my mother NEVER had a job, always a bunch of hustles, “get rich quick” schemes or begging men or friends for money. Started working at 16 and she took my bank card hostage: every payday she would blow my entire paycheck on things for herself, never for us or my siblings & this happened until the summer I turned 20. Moved out at 21 and haven’t seen or spoken to her since, that was 6 yrs ago
    i truly feel for her & her situation, wishing her much success to turn around the bad hand she was dealt!

    • @MDane9
      @MDane9 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so sorry you had to go through this. reminds me of a mom he had on not too long ago who isn't willing to work and just let's a "friend" pay for everything when she's in trouble.

  • @SchennyoOoO
    @SchennyoOoO 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I feel for her, I'm not in debt but I also grew up in a similar household and it's so hard to establish impulse control and not just numb your feelings with purchases. It's just like nothing matters anymore in the moment so you might as well do something that makes you feel better

  • @SLDFMechWarrior
    @SLDFMechWarrior 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I actually dated girls like her
    Like from crappy families and I can say its a handful being with them. Like most were sweet girls like her but others were really screwed up.
    Especially When they are still in contact with their toxic families and you can't get them to block them.
    I hope she gets better in the future

  • @SiRedCat
    @SiRedCat 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +218

    Now this is a 6month folow up I want to see!!
    I will pray for her and hope she gets on a path cut off from leeches and free of dept (or at least on a good way of paying it off).
    Good luck Lamiya!

    • @BrettAbaurrea
      @BrettAbaurrea 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Right!! It’s been 6 months I hope there’s a follow up

  • @sharhero
    @sharhero 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +264

    Lamiya, I don’t normally comment but as someone who has a toxic parent and hasn’t had the strength to remove them; this one hit me hard. Just remember you are not alone and you are doing so well with the cards you’ve been dealt. Keep going! You are gonna make it honey! Sending hugs. ❤

    • @sha2596
      @sha2596 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Hugs to you as well! I count myself lucky because I also grew up in a financially and emotionally abusive household. Mostly because of my fathers drug habits and my mothers depression because of it. Luckily I chose to move away for college with LOW contact when I became of age, and my mother though depressed, still loved us and refused to ruin our financial future by touching our credit or our identities.
      She did however use emotional manipulation when I was older to try to get money from us to fund her deadbeat boyfriend once she ditched my dad. She finally ditched that dude too and became a MUCH healthier person who is a present grandmom
      To my child and is no longer abusive. It took us 20 years and some no contact periods to get here though. I think we have to see ourselves as worthy of healthy relationships. Because we are!❤

  • @agata.binczak
    @agata.binczak 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’ve never seen an audience of this show actually offer financial help and so much empathy in this comments. Those people are out for blood here and with her story they were ready to send food her way.
    Speaks volumes. I hope she’s better now financially and mentally.

  • @pavneetsingh1661
    @pavneetsingh1661 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Her family taking advantage of her, manipulating her and abusing her broke my heart. I want her to succeed and be happy. I will be rooting for her.