From my personal experience as a woman, once you grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually.. it feels better being alone vs being with someone toxic or someone who I know deep down I have no connection with
The woman I know that choose singleness say that a relationship has cause more stress and trauma on them. Between hobbies, friends, and their own accomplishments, they are genuinely happy and at peace with their life. One said it would be nice to have a companion but if it’s not as good or better than the joy and peace she have her in life right now, she rather stay single.
But yet that's the same women who has someone to be intimate with so she doesn't truly wanna be alone because it's easier with no attachments there's no real adult work in that but that' gets played after a while I was happy single no sneaky links nothing I was celibate focus on me my career n craft that's it I knew I wanted something real n be courted right , I found true love 7 yrs ago still in it today ❤glad i stayed alone and celibate for the time I did because I found true love !
@@Shiekhempathpowersthat's the part they won't tell you about. They're ready, willing and able to claim this as long as they have a "friend" or three tapping that spine every few days. It's all a charade.
@VivalashiekhDesignsI was celibate for 3 years by choice, so no, some of us are not getting that, by choice as it just complicates life and joy. A friend told me I have to kiss a lot of worthless frogs to find my prince, but I said nope, not interested in doing that!
@@johnglover299 there’s a shortage within each age group when the applied criteria is decent character, willing and able to commit, has a decent income, is actually single.
People are afraid to be alone because they don't know how to be content in pure solitude. Facing your authentic self can be scary but is much needed to grow as a person.
I remember how anxious, restless and frustrated I was after getting out of a 6 year relationship with my high school sweetheart. It took about 4.5 months of withdrawals from love and always having someone present the majority of the time, Before I was comfortable being in solitude. That was back in 2015 and ever since, I've been single. There's nothing more I enjoy than being alone. There's no way I'm going to put myself at risk of those withdrawals ever again. Now, I basically refrain from relationships altogether. When I'm asked about my current status by women, I always get a weird look, and I'm sure they wonder to themselves “What's Wrong With Him”. The answer is “Not One Thing”. My ex killed the White Knight in me and taught me a moral perception of love. The risk to reward ratio for relationships in today's generation is tilted heavily in favor of risk. They or Most people for that matter, Just wouldn't understand. - Assets over liabilities, Valuables over burdens.
I think there is peace in both - single or coupled. The thing is, once a woman has found peace and purpose while single - she will pass on any man that appears to be a threat to any of that.
@@leroyflex1258 Yeah we more than likely leave. Women are resource driven at the end of the day. And men are sex driven find someone who like you just as much as you like them instead of performing to get what you want.
@@goddessofwands9362 very true I never ran into this issue as a man but I only went after women who already liked me for who I was idk why it’s so hard for both sides to do the same
yes, yes. 6 years celibate, and honestly its becoming so much harder to find a man i actually like. most of them claim they want relationship but what they really want is quick, easy sex. i wish more women abstained before solid commitment and actually getting to know the dude.
I agree everyone must be more accountable in vetting. However, men and women who are skilled manipulator will lie and appear to be everything you want and them switch up on you! When they switch up - we have to leave immediately. But that's easier said than done especially if your young and inexperienced, lacking guidance.
Men have so much unclaimed baggage, from childhood, hurt and abuse. I’m a Behavioral Analyst and I’m beginning to notice MORE black men seeking help. I’m so happy for this. Because they don’t think they mental issues. As for myself … I just choose to be single because I’m sick of the Grown People/Men Games. I don’t even date, because too many crazies out there 💯🤔😱😳🤷🏾♀️🥹
How do women choose better when they are deliberately being deceived? If you all aren't addressing the deception that you KNOW males are perpetrating on women. You're not serious about helping to improve relationships between men and women!
No women deceive themselves. Y'all stay trying to turn it on us to change and adjust when y'all never do. It's y'all turn to grow up.yall deliberately ignore trash and look over good dudes that actually qualify
And that 1 part of the equation too many of these chicks don’t respect men.. think they are better than there counterparts that men aren’t needed or wanted.. it’s only our females that does this BS.. they stuck on this independent f3mini$t BS..when that was never Blkwmn battle to begin with fr.. we had the highest rate of marriage & families frfr.. an it all turned to sh!t cuz just like eve yah got tricked out of her spot yah got tricked out of your position too an with that destroyed the family smh.
I agree. It’s so disingenuous to keep hollering “choose better” when no matter what type you’re with the veil falls and they end up switching up on you. There are definite red flags for some that are usually obvious if you pay attention, but many are also deceptive. It is what it is. They act like women should be all knowing and a fortune teller😒 At this point, all the dust kickin up solidified the reason why most women would rather not even entertain any of these men and I don’t blame them.
It’s hilarious at this point, as if there were so many good, there would be at least half of the demographic actually married. Therefore, it stands to reason, almost everyone is choosing wrong, or being deceived. These ninjas incessantly talk about seggs seggs seggs, body, body, body, yet phase to something deep every now and then. These are the bxys, who swear they’re good men 😑
I think what alot of women fail to recognise is the, Men you choose to "entertain" or get into relationships with DON'T actually change on you, it just takes the RIGHT situation and CIRCUMSTANCES to reveal, who that Man has ALWAYS been. The word DISCERNMENT comes to mind. US women just gotta do better. Blessings and Love.
Men do have a mind of their own and they actually do change their mind along the way. Whether it’s through maturity, life experience or realization of who they are and what they no longer desire🤷🏽♀️ That’s a human thing. So let’s just call it what it is.
Choose better, we choose ourselves and stay single, not bothering you men folk, not asking for your money, your time, your energy, and its still a problem. In my Tyrese voice, what do you all want from us???
I’m living in my single hood and learning so much about myself through therapy. For years I operated from a point of low self worth due to certain traumas (which definitely affected my dating life)…. I’ve been doing the work and ultimately realized that I wasn’t ready to receive the man for me. Fast forward to now….I love me and the woman I am now ❤. When that presents himself in my life I will be ready for him. You have to love yourself before any one else can. You are who attract is a true statement. I love your content btw keep it up.
Men lie from the jump when meeting a woman. They say whatever the woman wants. Then, after that false intro women got excited about, women ignore their intuition about his mismatch in actions because they really really wanted those original "intro words" to be real.
And who's to blame in that? The lying man who lied and told you exactly what you wanted to hear to get in ya 👖...or you for not vetting properly, making sure it's actions match up to his words...and ignoring your intuition?? 🤷♂️ IJS
Can't be the species that matures faster in still have every reason in the book to point the finger. Just change your type of man if you know what men are doing that your attracted to. Can't say all men lie cause you don't believe the honest ones nore give them men you need a chance. From jump.
@Jay C I don't respect the hustle. It's garbage and damages us all. People who take advantage and lie to others to benefit at others' expenses are terrible people not worthy of respect. Men or women who stay once they discover the man or woman was lying, it's their fault for staying. People need time and opportunity to vet.
I was ready to argue when he start talking but after listening:.. they ain’t said one lie. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I took a year off ALL dating overall just to sit w myself. I had to be real w myself about why I haven’t got the results I wanted when in relationships. Realized I was letting my flesh lead me. I ended My last relationship when I had a random spiritual awakening while w him. I start looking beyond the 6 foot frame, achievements and surface personality and start looking at his character n overall spirit. I realized his character n spirit overall wasn’t one fit to have a healthy mature relationship w so I left. Choosing wrong don’t necessarily mean choosing bad. it isnt common for people to be led be their spirit where they are putting character at the forefront. The common person is led by the flesh and this is why real commitment and healthy relationships are not the standard in 2023. Situationships represent the standard and it’s because this generation is superficial, shallow and slaves to the flesh. As soon as you start letting your spirit lead you,Your type will change. In this year of complete self focus I’ve turned down the types of men I thought were irresistible in the past. I am now confident that I will have better matches going forward. Great conversation 💯 and though we are discussing women this can apply to both because we are all conditioned to be lead by our flesh rather than our spirits.
MzBrOdUs18 So all those years of hoe'ing around, and you just realized that no man worth anything wants a hoe? Nah stick with them same dudes you been with. Good men don't want a jezzebelle
Sounds great but while you're out here having awakenings and bettering yourself. Are they? If the men aren't also doing the same kind of work. All you're work will be in vain, they keep saying we're not choosing the good man but where the hell are they ? They keep blaming women without taking accountability and growing as well it's uneven af
@@Blkbutterfly7 any woman who refuses to evolve because of the large number of unevolved men is limiting her options to those UNEVOLVED men. I hear this mentality from a lot of women. And I used to feel this way. But to be honest this mentality matches with the men women claim they don’t want. They saying the same thing women are saying. “ tHeReS nO g0Od wOmEN.” When the truth is, God isn’t giving them good women because they aren’t equally yolked w any. How is God going to place you w a good man/woman when you don’t even believe they exist n refuse to do the work on yourself to match w one? A person w that mentality is holding themselves back. There are men & women getting married everyday to the right match, while others complain they don’t exist. Ppl think it’s about numbers but I feel it’s really about mindset. You are one person. Ain’t no way you should believe out of the billion of men in this world there isn’t ONE match for you. God delivers matches. Women like to believe the number of good men vs good women isn’t balanced. But I beg to differ. I think it’s the same. A lot of women just assume they are good women because they desire relationships n marriage more than men. But desiring don’t mean you are truly ready for any of those things. My journey is not in vain and though I’m at peace single I refuse to hop on the bitter bus n sit in my singlehood w the belief that there isnt a match for me. The same women complaining ain’t no good men still lowkey want a man. Lol what is the point of being bitter? Do the work n put your faith in God to give you a man when he feels you are ready. God is the one who delivers husbands and wives. The majority of men n women don’t even have a relationship w God but then wonder why they are only finding ppl they can’t have healthy relationships w.
It’s interesting that man tell women to “glow them up and mess with them where they at” but how many men would do the same for us? Now many men would see a 350lb woman and with all the attributes he likes and marry her with hopes that she’ll potentially lose wt…. None. How many men would take to a masculine woman with hopes that if he “provides the right environment “ she’ll soften up and become feminine? … none. You gotta handle all that on your own time. 🙃
There will definitely be increased singleness not just because of poor choices, but life factors such as divorce, becoming a widow, and some who never desire to get married.
This man makes no sense. He says it’s our choices that are the problem. Being single is a part of making better choices! You have to be single and not occupied with some loser in order to find what you want! So we’ll be single until we get what we want
I hate this mindset. It is so ignorant. I’m fully independent and don’t ask anyone for anything, yet I seem to always attract users & men who think they are about to leech off of me‼️ What am I ? Cause I’m NOT a use
Moreso what you choose to engage with cause as a woman we attract all kinds of men. Regardless of whether you dress provocatively or modestly we literally get ALL types of men coming at us. Good bad and ugly Just choose the good. Lol
@@pressedbypebbles That's the type of men you qualify for. Why you women keep saying "I'm Independent" every adult is independent. You sound like kids always saying the same nonsense. Ya'll gotta grow up
Im choosing to be single because I don't want to be a grown man's mother for the rest of our lives together. Im happy, fulfilled and excited about life as a single woman. I don't mind a dude that isn't the best dresser. Vain men are usually problematic. I did a lot of work on myself to attract a good man then realized I was happy as I am. I like being accountable only to me. Singleness is my bag.😁🥰 But I love seeing other people in happy, healthy relationships.
Many of us are in Karmic relationships..sometimes you are with someone and that person is Your Mirror Image...sent to connect with you to show you areas You Need to work on to make You a Better You...If You are Complete and Good in areas of Your Life then Your Karmic is a Joy to be with..when there are areas that We need to fix or dont want to face up to..your partner may get on your nerves or make you feel that they are constantly challenging you...Check Yourself before You connect with another soul.😊❤❤❤❤
I don't watch ya'll content a lot, but I appreciate ya'll for the work ya'll put in on and probably off the Internet. Thank you very much, gentlemen. We need more gents like you.🙏🏾
People are scared to be alone because when they alone they are uncomfortable. They don’t know the person they are sitting with bc they haven’t taken the time to reflect and understand who they are in every aspect like their shadow or their inner child. Ppl are also constantly seeking validation failing to understand that if they are not enough for themselves, they will never feel they are enough for anyone else. Ppl are lonely bc they neglect themselves trying to fill the hole with surface superficial things. For example, we are all mirrors and reflect each other. If we knew who we really were, we would understand that the people that come in our lives causing pain are depictions and reflection of something inside of us but to keep ourselves safe we’d rather spend our lives distracted blaming others to escape the pain we cause ourselves as well as the pain that comes with accountability. This is an unconscious cycle that will continue to perpetuate hurt and hurt ppl hurt ppl.
❤❤❤ Love this message. Ladies walk away season is in full swing any and everything that is destroying your peace no toxic behavior gets energy. Please stop allowing men to use your bodies and learn the game and us them for your intellectual growth. Habe multiple men your just talking too.. No need to even spend time with them all Spend your time caring for yourself top to bottom inside and out. Stay dangerous!!
at the end of the day, grown men and women have to take accountability for their own actions!!..Just because someone may have had a bad childhood doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t strive to heal from such wounds. when a man/ woman haven’t healed from their past, they trauma bond. Ultimately it is your responsibility as an adult to do the work necessary and do the shadow work to heal yourself so your best version of who you are can come forth!!.. stop shifting the blame!! you attract who you are inside..jmo
We as people want a readymade relationship, we don’t want to teach anyone anything anymore. You have to put in the work and not give up so easily. Change is a challenge, it’s up to us to make it difficult Or make it smooth, but both parties must put in the work and make some personal changes. We give up so quickly for something so small. Appreciate and take good care of good people, they don’t come by so easily.
Nobody asking God for that man we are doing wrong things in wrong way and God will supply all your needs According to his riches in glory Just like he made Adam and Eva 🙏💕
There is an entire group of women who have classified themselves as sidechicks.... No she doesn't want to cook for you, clean for you, wash your clothes, or ask you how your day was......She just wants to show up, get it in & bounce after getting broke off for the shoes, bag, or bill she needs to pay.
And there's an entire group of men who know they can manipulate women and then blame women for giving men who showed up as "the good guy" a chance and then their fault for being manipulated that's a fkd up game. Not sure why y'all don't acknowledge that part.
Finally, someone is being honest about the risk of dating someone, particularly a man, who is significantly older than you. It's risky when the person is a young, inexperienced adult. A young adult has not developed mentally and emotionally to date a person significantly older than them (her).
There’s a shortage of good , mature men. ❤ that’s all I got. And yes, the ones that are not--heal themselves. We do flourish by ourselves, unfortunately. We all desire a life partner; there’s so few out there. Agree, talk to healthy men, healthy humans. 🙏💖 there are good ones--they just in hiding. I’m in hiding. 🤣🤣 y’all let me know when it’s safe to come outside. I’m a homebody for life; I’m need of a man whose a homebody. ❤😊 We like books, pizza and the Celtics.
You are right. Course correction if done early can successfully redirect the energy in your space, change the probability of your outcome, and get you happier faster. You have to be able to recognize that there is a problem first. You have to know that you are better, deserve better, and not giving energy to brokenness.
I love her! My homegirl from middle school does her makeup. There is always some truth in everything that she says. I like that she isn't afraid to speak her mind. I live that even as a married woman she still speaks up for the single ladies.
Some men's issue are related to their childhood, from therapist & psychologist, from their mothers. There are good and bad, so all/everybody shouldn't be used. How about when the mask is worn and showing all the positives, however that mask starts to slip and show the real person... toxicity. The same thing you're stating about women, goes for men also. All women are not looking at the superficial things.
I want a partner, but I'm not willing to settle for just anyone just to say I have a man. The biggest lesson I learned is not to tango until I can see the man being my spouse and his actions confirm that he is making strides to make our union permanent.
I'm in my single timing due to my own choice of ignoring the clear crystal signs that God showed me. Now that doesn't negate the fact that there was lack of good intentions and truth by the men I allowed in my life but at the end of the day I stayed. So, now my single time isn't about missing a man but missing the woman God wants me to become a woman that doesn't entertain anyone but who God sends for me while living my best life.
How many good men in a group of 10, if this has been going on for generations? And hasn’t this behavior also shown its self in many cultures, such as- European, American, Caribbean, African? Then how do you as a culture teach women- when to choose to stay and when to choose to run, and in that same breath you say don’t judge, you missing a good man, he just going through something’. On one hand ‘You give to chances’, then on the next it’s, ‘You should have stayed in there,’ cause after all you as a woman are only valuable until 25 From birth girls are raised to rush and do everything and do it well- good grades, be pretty, be quiet, stand up, sit down, nice teeth, good hair, smart but not too smart, marry young with no knowledge- but choose better, Boys sit back- play, and as you build run through a lot of women, then at 45- marry your sons women
I can't understand why they can't make it work with the twenty-year-olds they met/dated/sexed from when they were 20 to 45. How do you move a goal post for 20+ years?
What about the men without the ends but still approaching women and still are emotionally available? How are we “choosing” when we’re supposed to sit in feminine energy and let men approach you? The ones about nothing shoot their shot, the ones we are supposed to be “choosing” need to step up and be more direct with interest in women. Period. Stop playing the friend role for proximity.
this is Hilarious… u honest enough with a chick an she will deflect blame an lie to herself😂 look heidi hear me an understand there will come a point when “intentions” will no longer outweigh “outcomes”… most marriage material chicks are cuffed EARLY so that sitting on your a&$ isn’t going to work especially where it’s not a lot of *truly good wives* available so most dudes are checking out slowly..most chicks ARE NOT wife material..sorry to be the messenger to tell you this. i been saying theres a storm is coming of men quitting marriage its like the campaign against tabacco in the 1900s quitting smoking. About 2-3 percent of the populace slowly quit smoking each year. An now we are in 2023 look around!! Overtime modern wmn will wake up 1-day and see 80% of men will be permanently finished with marriage. The tsunami is NOT here YET! however observant women with *discernment* peep game an are starting to see the palm trees bending over with the winds…your so busy with your narrative you aren’t noticing Reality of the things.. Very few ppl have true discernment.. especially in the blk community…Shahrazad Ali peeped this out *DECADES* Ago!! an mark my words the stats are out an come 2045 it will be Far Worse!!
They’re sitting back saying these things and being pious. However, if you see who they’re predominately focusing on, it’s not the feminine, emotionally stable, fiscally responsible, women.
That's life ma. You gonna get more shit than diamonds ma. You Never heard the term kiss more frogs until I get my prince. Like good men are not gonna holla at you the most. We only holla once in a while. We will probably be a little nervous when hollerin...please don't confuse with lack of confidence ma. But yeah, the smooth talking players will holla at you more. It's up to you to vet better and see what's up. It is what it is
Men who are on top of the food chain , actually have way more options that they can deal with . If they are physically attractive , smart , emotionally intelligent , financially stable , and spiritual fit - they are in the 2 percent of men world wide . They worked hard to get those options and they will play the field . I’ve been around pro athletes and professionals in my family that are those men and have those men in their circles . Another point , half the their man of that 2 percent is married .
I agree I was picking the wrong men. I know can say I have a real man that loves me unconditionally. I kept my head up, enjoyed my single life and kept God 1st
in my position I loved her unconditionally from day 1 , she lost attraction, love her unconditionally still. she just won’t see or understand it. no changing at this point
If your core values don’t align, move on from that man ASAP. If he just wants a FUN GIRL he’ll easily find his match. Don’t waste your precious time. So many men out here ARE still dealing with toxic relationship including issues with their Mother and remain unhealed. That is a deep issue only he can address instead of jumping from woman to woman. Just tell him you have been there and done that as you move on to better if you can actually find that it exist out here. If you must remain single do so as you continue to move on to what is the best for you. Honestly , Queen hold yourself accountable to do your own work by loving yourself the MOST.
I'm tired of hearing about men's unhealed issues. All of us have gone through trauma in childhood, and then more trauma being black in this country, and then just the general traumas of living. Men need to grow past their issues; stop whining and blaming women and everybody for your problems. Get some help! And if you don't want to get help, at least stop involving others in your mess. That's called growing up, which is what makes a man a man.
Ladies: Law Of Attraction states, That which is like unto it self is drawn. Simply put, you get what you put your attention on. So, ask yourself, do I constantly say: men ain’t crap, ain’t no good men out here, he gonna cheat on me!!!! Now you know why you keep getting these type of men!!! Find out what true unconditional love is and once you do you’ll be surprised and delighted how well your life changes and how well the boys behave! Go have fun and stay out that man’s business!
I agree with everything EXCEPT you cannot adjust/change a man. If he doesn't care about his appearance when you meet him THERE IS NO CHANGING HIM because it's not important to him.
With regard to the mail carrier who wrote in who needs to OUT THAT MAN ON CHILD SUPPORT..... if the man she was married to, has now decided NOT to support his kids then chances are that he was not a good husband to begin with. A man who stops taking care of his kids after a divorce is NOT GOOD so there's that. Instead y'all are focusing on why she divorced a man who was 10 years her senior that I am guessing she met and started dating at 18... but not on why he turned out to be a deadbeat. And the fact that lots of women have that issue where they don't put men on child support after a relationship ends and he ends up being a deadbeat because he no longer lives with the child. This woman taking responsibility for the marriage ending is most likely her being taught by society that she as the woman is responsible so she is blaming herself instead of putting some of the blame on him where it belongs.
People are so dysfunctional that healthy relationships barely exist...Men and women don't see/know what a healthy relationship really looks like...We just go from one experience/relationship to the next...You can deny this if you want, but if you don't take time out to heal and reflect in between FAILED relationships to actually learn something so you understand the problem from within to govern yourself better before the next relationship - Then you are the problem...Male or Female. The sexes just continually blame one another and no one truly takes accountability or gets better and that's how we ended up here.
I love how they making so even getting in a relationship is hard work. The beginning of the relationship is the honeymoon phase. It's the light and easy part, if you are trying to take the joy out of that. I'll keep staying single.
Hey y'all. Just recently started watching/listening to your channel and have been enjoying the different perspectives. 🤘🏽 However, I gotta disagree on this one Fam. 1. I'm a firm believer in you are what you entertain. 2. I think it would be helpful to add 'some' not 'all' women can't be alone and seek validation. For some it truly is a preference, because trust me, if she really wanted to she could go get a man in no time. That's not hard to do at all if you just want any man. But, when you want something of value and substance you can truly decide to be alone rather than just accept any man. 3. I believe overall men seem to be the one's who have an issue being alone. They are typically the first to move on to the next after a relationship (even if it's just sex) while the woman is usually the one who stays single for a while, yet then men will throw that in a woman's face and tell her she's gonna be old and lonely because she doesn't have a man or chooses to be single. Ain't that something 😅. 4. Sometimes it isn't preference. I have seen first hand where a woman can give the good guy (educated, good father to his child, no multiple children or baby mother's, raised in two parent household, good cook, gentleman, nice and caring overall) even though wasn't preference looks and money wise still gave a chance. Yet, same "good guy" didn't know how to communicate effectively, manipulative at times, had to repeatedly asked/reminded to put forth real effort in the relationship (like why should you have to constantly say/asked to be taken out on dates?). So just because you don't always go with 'preference ' doesn't mean the one you don't 'prefer' looks, height, financially, etc., is going to work out for you either. Then they'll tell you you should have chose better. We can't win, lol! 5. You can vet well, but people are sometimes deceitful and you don't see the real them until much later. Yes, you should move on if they are not for you, but it still happens. Doesn't excuse taking accountability, because we should but, it still happens.
The question of that man with the woman who not wife material question. Where is the accountability? You are basically saying without saying that you wasted her time and used her body. And they think nothing is wrong with that and then be mad when that level of karma comes back his way. Women, we also have to be more aware and intentional. Another question that I never see posed is what is husband material because it's rarely defined. And to me, it's more than good finances and protection.
Powerful words: people are cray. The gift of goodbye without an excuse. Time to grow up. I would love to hear more about how women deal with men who are not leveled up and act combative and argumentative in relationships. They're out there. Does that stop at a certain age? Is it just personality? Is there any chance that topic can be addressed and how women respond. Relationships are definitely Mirror images of the self. 100% Truth!
Wow what a comment. I have been single for over 3 years and willing to get back into the dating however I do believe that relationships are Real. There are men with great intentions "vet properly."😊 I am willing and waiting boing myself work relationship. Great Job BLACK MEN ❤❤ . 🥰🥰🥰 always choices .. STAND up for What you can handle.❤️💜🌞
What kind of women are y’all talking about, not all of us go to clubs give up cookies and worry about “ bags” yet we still get hurt or cheated on. If your alone and happy that is better at this point just buy a toy and leave the men alone period. You don’t have to have a man.
Sad that “ certain “ women ruin it for everyone and “ certain “ men do the same. Factually it’s simple 🤔 if you doin what you suppose to and standing on your morals you wnt accept the wrong thing or decline the right. I could be trippin but when I let go of expectations I received everything I put out✌🏽 and as he said you can’t be afraid to start over but more importantly you cannot be afraid to let go.
JUST AS THE SUN RISES OVER THE DARKNESS EACH DAY I RISE UP FROM THE GRAVE OF PAIN AND SHAME I RISE BEYOND THEIR EXPECTATIONS OF ME I RISE ONE WITH THE ETERNAL LIGHT ALMIGHTY MOST HIGH I SHINE
You comment that Women are leaving men alone to love on themselves and being selfish and yet you're having a whole podcast on why women are leaving men alone ? Why don't yall start doing podcast with the good guys instead of "attacking" women's choices? When half the men you meet are playing some games, what does the good guy look like ? And how are you having this convo without a woman ? Women who are working on themselves aren't afraid of being alone at this point. That's a projection.
They do do podcasts with guys who THINK they're good but those men are still ashy just like the men women be complaining about. So I could only laugh. They are so confused. 😭😭😂😂
@@greenqueen2673 I follow Shumake so I know his content. I was following him from before he got married. I think the first video I watched was him talking about fighting for custody of his kids.
What really like draw me away from the panel and other videos is the fact. That fact is now women don’t want to be boxed in which marriage and children. The fact is there are not a lot of good choices. Say what you want about the past women the men dated. One minute it’s the crying about not choosing the average guy. Then in the next breath it like well you new what you were getting into you should have vetted better. That when you find a lot of women like ok I’m kool.
Women with loving intentions shouldn't be played because they're not asking the right questions that they're just supposed to know fresh out the womb. Treat people how you want to be treated: most people know that, even if it doesn't turn romantic. Women are tired of finding out they're bad for their soul only after they answer all their questions correctly, and played the game too good for too long.
Women can choose "single". But it only happens in a comfortable world. These same women drive cars, make money, live in homes, go to college, and have the police for protection. But guess what,... the aforementioned is all based on men's efforts. Men build the world and make life comfortable. Women rely on men doing the dirty work of building a comfortable world, but women deny the comfort that men built . If women recognized what's really happening, they would have more respect for men in general. And their relationships with men would improve
What’s the point. Those things are offered as a result of employment, not personal relationships. You too enjoy those benefits other men put the work into as well, do you not?
@@ericb7776 -I simply stated men who do not do construction work, who don’t do electrical work, who are not engineers, architects, plumbers, HVAC, concrete workers, or law enforcement, also enjoy the benefits of other men’s labour. Is this not true? Again, my statement is indeed logical. There’s not one emotion in my response. Nor was there a narrative written. 😊
That is why I let slot of people go in my life,cause bigger and better things are coming my way ,it's a plan I have had for it ever since I was 12years old.
Lately i have been seeing many signs of me talking to him and he actually showing me of what i already knew. what he doing for me my wealth is right at the end of tunnel. i smell and i could see it so now is grind time for me planting what i want for my single life .is been 15 years of not dating i love it now i want to travel and help the weak and sick moving forward.
From my personal experience as a woman, once you grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually.. it feels better being alone vs being with someone toxic or someone who I know deep down I have no connection with
Amen sis 💯
FACTS!!!
This
Facts
Exactly
The woman I know that choose singleness say that a relationship has cause more stress and trauma on them. Between hobbies, friends, and their own accomplishments, they are genuinely happy and at peace with their life. One said it would be nice to have a companion but if it’s not as good or better than the joy and peace she have her in life right now, she rather stay single.
But yet that's the same women who has someone to be intimate with so she doesn't truly wanna be alone because it's easier with no attachments there's no real adult work in that but that' gets played after a while I was happy single no sneaky links nothing I was celibate focus on me my career n craft that's it I knew I wanted something real n be courted right , I found true love 7 yrs ago still in it today ❤glad i stayed alone and celibate for the time I did because I found true love !
@@Shiekhempathpowersthat's the part they won't tell you about. They're ready, willing and able to claim this as long as they have a "friend" or three tapping that spine every few days. It's all a charade.
💯
@VivalashiekhDesignsI was celibate for 3 years by choice, so no, some of us are not getting that, by choice as it just complicates life and joy. A friend told me I have to kiss a lot of worthless frogs to find my prince, but I said nope, not interested in doing that!
@@tri3pleagentoh no women have sex without dating or marrying that person…. Crazy…
Women choose to be single because there is a shortage of the men that you speak we should be choosing. That's it. That's all.
Durag dude talkin' about what we choose like there's a plethora of better choices. Exactly why we are choosing us.
There isn't a shortage... many times women simply look passed those men.
No ma’am
@@johnglover299 there’s a shortage within each age group when the applied criteria is decent character, willing and able to commit, has a decent income, is actually single.
@@sensiblemindset423 there isn't a shortage at all... cut the cap.
People are afraid to be alone because they don't know how to be content in pure solitude. Facing your authentic self can be scary but is much needed to grow as a person.
I remember how anxious, restless and frustrated I was after getting out of a 6 year relationship with my high school sweetheart. It took about 4.5 months of withdrawals from love and always having someone present the majority of the time, Before I was comfortable being in solitude. That was back in 2015 and ever since, I've been single. There's nothing more I enjoy than being alone. There's no way I'm going to put myself at risk of those withdrawals ever again. Now, I basically refrain from relationships altogether. When I'm asked about my current status by women, I always get a weird look, and I'm sure they wonder to themselves “What's Wrong With Him”. The answer is “Not One Thing”. My ex killed the White Knight in me and taught me a moral perception of love. The risk to reward ratio for relationships in today's generation is tilted heavily in favor of risk. They or Most people for that matter, Just wouldn't understand. - Assets over liabilities, Valuables over burdens.
I think there is peace in both - single or coupled. The thing is, once a woman has found peace and purpose while single - she will pass on any man that appears to be a threat to any of that.
When you don't have sex with men their true intentions come out because it's hard for a liar to keep up his act when he's not getting what he wants.
When you don’t spend your money women show their true intentions as well.
@@leroyflex1258 Yeah we more than likely leave. Women are resource driven at the end of the day. And men are sex driven find someone who like you just as much as you like them instead of performing to get what you want.
@@goddessofwands9362 very true I never ran into this issue as a man but I only went after women who already liked me for who I was idk why it’s so hard for both sides to do the same
Facts!!
yes, yes. 6 years celibate, and honestly its becoming so much harder to find a man i actually like. most of them claim they want relationship but what they really want is quick, easy sex. i wish more women abstained before solid commitment and actually getting to know the dude.
“Give the gift of goodbye without an excuse” ✅💯
I agree everyone must be more accountable in vetting. However, men and women who are skilled manipulator will lie and appear to be everything you want and them switch up on you! When they switch up - we have to leave immediately. But that's easier said than done especially if your young and inexperienced, lacking guidance.
They send the representative in the beginning who is everything you can ask for. It's all a facade. They can't keep the mask on forever.
Single is better. Then u don’t have to deal with all the bipolar stuff. Just be alone.
I agree
Facts
This whole conversation will never have an ending because men who need to hear it are deaf or blame women. Period.
Sad but true unfortunately.
Men have so much unclaimed baggage, from childhood, hurt and abuse. I’m a Behavioral Analyst and I’m beginning to notice MORE black men seeking help. I’m so happy for this. Because they don’t think they mental issues.
As for myself … I just choose to be single because I’m sick of the Grown People/Men Games. I don’t even date, because too many crazies out there 💯🤔😱😳🤷🏾♀️🥹
Same sis- met more men with trauma / mental problems- not worth it
How do women choose better when they are deliberately being deceived? If you all aren't addressing the deception that you KNOW males are perpetrating on women. You're not serious about helping to improve relationships between men and women!
No women deceive themselves. Y'all stay trying to turn it on us to change and adjust when y'all never do. It's y'all turn to grow up.yall deliberately ignore trash and look over good dudes that actually qualify
These dudes ya'll are getting "deceived" by are not Sherlock nor Moriarty. This is where accountability and basic discernment comes in.
And that 1 part of the equation too many of these chicks don’t respect men.. think they are better than there counterparts that men aren’t needed or wanted.. it’s only our females that does this BS.. they stuck on this independent f3mini$t BS..when that was never Blkwmn battle to begin with fr.. we had the highest rate of marriage & families frfr.. an it all turned to sh!t cuz just like eve yah got tricked out of her spot yah got tricked out of your position too an with that destroyed the family smh.
I agree. It’s so disingenuous to keep hollering “choose better” when no matter what type you’re with the veil falls and they end up switching up on you. There are definite red flags for some that are usually obvious if you pay attention, but many are also deceptive. It is what it is. They act like women should be all knowing and a fortune teller😒 At this point, all the dust kickin up solidified the reason why most women would rather not even entertain any of these men and I don’t blame them.
It’s hilarious at this point, as if there were so many good, there would be at least half of the demographic actually married. Therefore, it stands to reason, almost everyone is choosing wrong, or being deceived. These ninjas incessantly talk about seggs seggs seggs, body, body, body, yet phase to something deep every now and then. These are the bxys, who swear they’re good men 😑
I think what alot of women fail to recognise is the, Men you choose to "entertain" or get into relationships with DON'T actually change on you, it just takes the RIGHT situation and CIRCUMSTANCES to reveal, who that Man has ALWAYS been.
The word DISCERNMENT comes to mind. US women just gotta do better.
Blessings and Love.
Discernment is key but also God Boundaries are highly important...
Yup. And I think most people go wrong by ignoring red flags in the beginning.
I’m guilty of that!
Men do have a mind of their own and they actually do change their mind along the way.
Whether it’s through maturity, life experience or realization of who they are and what they no longer desire🤷🏽♀️
That’s a human thing. So let’s just call it what it is.
Choose better, we choose ourselves and stay single, not bothering you men folk, not asking for your money, your time, your energy, and its still a problem. In my Tyrese voice, what do you all want from us???
I’m living in my single hood and learning so much about myself through therapy. For years I operated from a point of low self worth due to certain traumas (which definitely affected my dating life)…. I’ve been doing the work and ultimately realized that I wasn’t ready to receive the man for me. Fast forward to now….I love me and the woman I am now ❤. When that presents himself in my life I will be ready for him. You have to love yourself before any one else can. You are who attract is a true statement. I love your content btw keep it up.
Men lie from the jump when meeting a woman. They say whatever the woman wants. Then, after that false intro women got excited about, women ignore their intuition about his mismatch in actions because they really really wanted those original "intro words" to be real.
And who's to blame in that? The lying man who lied and told you exactly what you wanted to hear to get in ya 👖...or you for not vetting properly, making sure it's actions match up to his words...and ignoring your intuition?? 🤷♂️ IJS
Wtf, they both wrong.
Men aren’t supposed to be held accountable why? Because boys will be boys right ?
Can't be the species that matures faster in still have every reason in the book to point the finger. Just change your type of man if you know what men are doing that your attracted to. Can't say all men lie cause you don't believe the honest ones nore give them men you need a chance. From jump.
@Jay C I don't respect the hustle. It's garbage and damages us all. People who take advantage and lie to others to benefit at others' expenses are terrible people not worthy of respect. Men or women who stay once they discover the man or woman was lying, it's their fault for staying. People need time and opportunity to vet.
@Wave of a yougen so you've never done what I said ever in your life then right?
I was ready to argue when he start talking but after listening:.. they ain’t said one lie. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I took a year off ALL dating overall just to sit w myself. I had to be real w myself about why I haven’t got the results I wanted when in relationships. Realized I was letting my flesh lead me. I ended My last relationship when I had a random spiritual awakening while w him. I start looking beyond the 6 foot frame, achievements and surface personality and start looking at his character n overall spirit. I realized his character n spirit overall wasn’t one fit to have a healthy mature relationship w so I left. Choosing wrong don’t necessarily mean choosing bad. it isnt common for people to be led be their spirit where they are putting character at the forefront. The common person is led by the flesh and this is why real commitment and healthy relationships are not the standard in 2023. Situationships represent the standard and it’s because this generation is superficial, shallow and slaves to the flesh. As soon as you start letting your spirit lead you,Your type will change. In this year of complete self focus I’ve turned down the types of men I thought were irresistible in the past. I am now confident that I will have better matches going forward. Great conversation 💯 and though we are discussing women this can apply to both because we are all conditioned to be lead by our flesh rather than our spirits.
MzBrOdUs18 So all those years of hoe'ing around, and you just realized that no man worth anything wants a hoe? Nah stick with them same dudes you been with. Good men don't want a jezzebelle
Sounds great but while you're out here having awakenings and bettering yourself. Are they? If the men aren't also doing the same kind of work. All you're work will be in vain, they keep saying we're not choosing the good man but where the hell are they ? They keep blaming women without taking accountability and growing as well it's uneven af
That is not true for all women, men change. I didn’t go into anything for fun.
@@Blkbutterfly7 any woman who refuses to evolve because of the large number of unevolved men is limiting her options to those UNEVOLVED men. I hear this mentality from a lot of women. And I used to feel this way. But to be honest this mentality matches with the men women claim they don’t want. They saying the same thing women are saying. “ tHeReS nO g0Od wOmEN.” When the truth is, God isn’t giving them good women because they aren’t equally yolked w any. How is God going to place you w a good man/woman when you don’t even believe they exist n refuse to do the work on yourself to match w one? A person w that mentality is holding themselves back. There are men & women getting married everyday to the right match, while others complain they don’t exist. Ppl think it’s about numbers but I feel it’s really about mindset. You are one person. Ain’t no way you should believe out of the billion of men in this world there isn’t ONE match for you. God delivers matches. Women like to believe the number of good men vs good women isn’t balanced. But I beg to differ. I think it’s the same. A lot of women just assume they are good women because they desire relationships n marriage more than men. But desiring don’t mean you are truly ready for any of those things. My journey is not in vain and though I’m at peace single I refuse to hop on the bitter bus n sit in my singlehood w the belief that there isnt a match for me. The same women complaining ain’t no good men still lowkey want a man. Lol what is the point of being bitter? Do the work n put your faith in God to give you a man when he feels you are ready. God is the one who delivers husbands and wives. The majority of men n women don’t even have a relationship w God but then wonder why they are only finding ppl they can’t have healthy relationships w.
Well said...
It’s interesting that man tell women to “glow them up and mess with them where they at” but how many men would do the same for us? Now many men would see a 350lb woman and with all the attributes he likes and marry her with hopes that she’ll potentially lose wt…. None. How many men would take to a masculine woman with hopes that if he “provides the right environment “ she’ll soften up and become feminine? … none. You gotta handle all that on your own time. 🙃
Preach 🙌
I wonder how many 350lb women want a 350lb man?
There will definitely be increased singleness not just because of poor choices, but life factors such as divorce, becoming a widow, and some who never desire to get married.
This man makes no sense. He says it’s our choices that are the problem. Being single is a part of making better choices! You have to be single and not occupied with some loser in order to find what you want! So we’ll be single until we get what we want
The gag is men know the men she described exist but it’s the woman responsibility to choose better. You are what you attract‼️
A good and beautiful woman attracts everything. It's who you entertain that matters.
@@Opal5674 -Thank you! It’s so interesting people fail to see almost everyone is attracted to a diamond.
I hate this mindset. It is so ignorant.
I’m fully independent and don’t ask anyone for anything, yet I seem to always attract users & men who think they are about to leech off of me‼️
What am I ? Cause I’m NOT a use
Moreso what you choose to engage with cause as a woman we attract all kinds of men. Regardless of whether you dress provocatively or modestly we literally get ALL types of men coming at us. Good bad and ugly Just choose the good. Lol
@@pressedbypebbles That's the type of men you qualify for. Why you women keep saying "I'm Independent" every adult is independent. You sound like kids always saying the same nonsense. Ya'll gotta grow up
Im choosing to be single because I don't want to be a grown man's mother for the rest of our lives together. Im happy, fulfilled and excited about life as a single woman. I don't mind a dude that isn't the best dresser. Vain men are usually problematic. I did a lot of work on myself to attract a good man then realized I was happy as I am. I like being accountable only to me. Singleness is my bag.😁🥰 But I love seeing other people in happy, healthy relationships.
"grown man''s mother" that part.
Men are scared to be alone as well
a „man“ has no issue with being alone. a boy has. Men handle most of they’re stuff alone
@@Joker-hw2nq Agree! We are far more equipped to be alone and make peace with it.
@@Joker-hw2nq The same goes for single women.
@@greenqueen2673Wrong.
@@SuaveGAif that was the case y’all wouldn’t be trying to get successful just to get women b/c that’s the reason
Many of us are in Karmic relationships..sometimes you are with someone and that person is Your Mirror Image...sent to connect with you to show you areas You Need to work on to make You a Better You...If You are Complete and Good in areas of Your Life then Your Karmic is a Joy to be with..when there are areas that We need to fix or dont want to face up to..your partner may get on your nerves or make you feel that they are constantly challenging you...Check Yourself before You connect with another soul.😊❤❤❤❤
You guys are so right.. women do have to look at they self.. I am learning this now how to look at what I am attracted vs what I want out of a man..
Why do these men not focus on what MEN are doing? What's the obsession with women, and their choices????
Baby, I don’t really think that men are qualified to speak on why women choose to be single in 2023
correct
Facts
Their not. They just love to hear themselves speak.
I don't watch ya'll content a lot, but I appreciate ya'll for the work ya'll put in on and probably off the Internet. Thank you very much, gentlemen. We need more gents like you.🙏🏾
The gift of goodbye...exactly what he said supports her action of decidingto be single. . That was a word.
Yeah ladies, go for the broke ugly guy that will still cheat on you 😂😂
People are scared to be alone because when they alone they are uncomfortable. They don’t know the person they are sitting with bc they haven’t taken the time to reflect and understand who they are in every aspect like their shadow or their inner child. Ppl are also constantly seeking validation failing to understand that if they are not enough for themselves, they will never feel they are enough for anyone else. Ppl are lonely bc they neglect themselves trying to fill the hole with surface superficial things. For example, we are all mirrors and reflect each other. If we knew who we really were, we would understand that the people that come in our lives causing pain are depictions and reflection of something inside of us but to keep ourselves safe we’d rather spend our lives distracted blaming others to escape the pain we cause ourselves as well as the pain that comes with accountability. This is an unconscious cycle that will continue to perpetuate hurt and hurt ppl hurt ppl.
Let’s start having a relationship without sex before marriage so both people can see each other clearly
YES.
❤❤❤ Love this message. Ladies walk away season is in full swing any and everything that is destroying your peace no toxic behavior gets energy. Please stop allowing men to use your bodies and learn the game and us them for your intellectual growth. Habe multiple men your just talking too.. No need to even spend time with them all
Spend your time caring for yourself top to bottom inside and out. Stay dangerous!!
at the end of the day, grown men and women have to take accountability for their own actions!!..Just because someone may have had a bad childhood doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t strive to heal from such wounds. when a man/ woman haven’t healed from their past, they trauma bond. Ultimately it is your responsibility as an adult to do the work necessary and do the shadow work to heal yourself so your best version of who you are can come forth!!.. stop shifting the blame!! you attract who you are inside..jmo
“The gift of goodbye.”
We as people want a readymade relationship, we don’t want to teach anyone anything anymore. You have to put in the work and not give up so easily. Change is a challenge, it’s up to us to make it difficult Or make it smooth, but both parties must put in the work and make some personal changes. We give up so quickly for something so small. Appreciate and take good care of good people, they don’t come by so easily.
This is the most mature, clear, and well rounded conversation around this subject that I have seen. Keep up the good work.
Nobody asking God for that man we are doing wrong things in wrong way and God will supply all your needs According to his riches in glory Just like he made Adam and Eva 🙏💕
There is an entire group of women who have classified themselves as sidechicks....
No she doesn't want to cook for you, clean for you, wash your clothes, or ask you how your day was......She just wants to show up, get it in & bounce after getting broke off for the shoes, bag, or bill she needs to pay.
this!
And there's an entire group of men who know they can manipulate women and then blame women for giving men who showed up as "the good guy" a chance and then their fault for being manipulated that's a fkd up game. Not sure why y'all don't acknowledge that part.
“Step up and be a father to your Damn kids”…..Trill ❤
I’m good alone.. more peaceful!!!thank God I’m a home body.
Finally, someone is being honest about the risk of dating someone, particularly a man, who is significantly older than you. It's risky when the person is a young, inexperienced adult. A young adult has not developed mentally and emotionally to date a person significantly older than them (her).
There’s a shortage of good , mature men. ❤ that’s all I got. And yes, the ones that are not--heal themselves. We do flourish by ourselves, unfortunately. We all desire a life partner; there’s so few out there. Agree, talk to healthy men, healthy humans. 🙏💖 there are good ones--they just in hiding. I’m in hiding. 🤣🤣 y’all let me know when it’s safe to come outside. I’m a homebody for life; I’m need of a man whose a homebody. ❤😊 We like books, pizza and the Celtics.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I hear you Sis! I'm in hiding too, but I'm happy.
@@greenqueen2673 agree! I’m a little too, happy! 😁😆 must adjust to the idea of another human up in my house.
@@QueenJZ I think it's too late for me. If the Most High sends me one, he's gonna have to go home to his own house at the end of the day 🤣
Facts 💯 at peace solo and seperate homes are needed
I have the gift of Block and Goodbye!!!
Me too 🤣
Same you'll never here from me again
That is what my counselor told me at one time comfortable isn't good for you it's toxic for you that's why I got rid of him.
Everyone should be allowed to do what makes them happy...Live and let live..
You are right. Course correction if done early can successfully redirect the energy in your space, change the probability of your outcome, and get you happier faster. You have to be able to recognize that there is a problem first. You have to know that you are better, deserve better, and not giving energy to brokenness.
I'm so tired of people blaming things on other people stand your ground and take responsibility
I love her! My homegirl from middle school does her makeup. There is always some truth in everything that she says. I like that she isn't afraid to speak her mind. I live that even as a married woman she still speaks up for the single ladies.
Some men's issue are related to their childhood, from therapist & psychologist, from their mothers. There are good and bad, so all/everybody shouldn't be used. How about when the mask is worn and showing all the positives, however that mask starts to slip and show the real person... toxicity. The same thing you're stating about women, goes for men also. All women are not looking at the superficial things.
I want a partner, but I'm not willing to settle for just anyone just to say I have a man. The biggest lesson I learned is not to tango until I can see the man being my spouse and his actions confirm that he is making strides to make our union permanent.
I love you guys! Thank your wisdom & inspiration. I have learned so much. I know I have more work to do on myself. Keep talking to us.❤
this is very true, steering clear from all the drama is the order of the day...
I'm in my single timing due to my own choice of ignoring the clear crystal signs that God showed me. Now that doesn't negate the fact that there was lack of good intentions and truth by the men I allowed in my life but at the end of the day I stayed. So, now my single time isn't about missing a man but missing the woman God wants me to become a woman that doesn't entertain anyone but who God sends for me while living my best life.
How many good men in a group of 10, if this has been going on for generations? And hasn’t this behavior also shown its self in many cultures, such as- European, American, Caribbean, African?
Then how do you as a culture teach women- when to choose to stay and when to choose to run, and in that same breath you say don’t judge, you missing a good man, he just going through something’. On one hand ‘You give to chances’, then on the next it’s, ‘You should have stayed in there,’ cause after all you as a woman are only valuable until 25
From birth girls are raised to rush and do everything and do it well- good grades, be pretty, be quiet, stand up, sit down, nice teeth, good hair, smart but not too smart, marry young with no knowledge- but choose better,
Boys sit back- play, and as you build run through a lot of women, then at 45- marry your sons women
PREACH!!!!
I can't understand why they can't make it work with the twenty-year-olds they met/dated/sexed from when they were 20 to 45. How do you move a goal post for 20+ years?
What about the men without the ends but still approaching women and still are emotionally available? How are we “choosing” when we’re supposed to sit in feminine energy and let men approach you? The ones about nothing shoot their shot, the ones we are supposed to be “choosing” need to step up and be more direct with interest in women. Period. Stop playing the friend role for proximity.
This deserves a bulletin board.
this is Hilarious… u honest enough with a chick an she will deflect blame an lie to herself😂
look heidi
hear me an understand
there will come a point when “intentions” will no longer outweigh “outcomes”… most marriage material chicks are cuffed EARLY so that sitting on your a&$ isn’t going to work especially where it’s not a lot of *truly good wives* available so most dudes are checking out slowly..most chicks ARE NOT wife material..sorry to be the messenger to tell you this.
i been saying theres a storm is coming
of men quitting marriage its like the campaign against tabacco in the 1900s quitting smoking.
About 2-3 percent of the populace slowly quit smoking each year. An now we are in 2023 look around!!
Overtime modern wmn will wake up 1-day and see 80% of men will be permanently finished with marriage. The tsunami is NOT here YET!
however observant women with *discernment* peep game an are starting to see the palm trees bending over with the winds…your so busy with your narrative you aren’t noticing Reality of the things.. Very few ppl have true discernment.. especially in the blk community…Shahrazad Ali peeped this out *DECADES* Ago!! an mark my words the stats are out an come 2045 it will be Far Worse!!
They’re sitting back saying these things and being pious. However, if you see who they’re predominately focusing on, it’s not the feminine, emotionally stable, fiscally responsible, women.
That's life ma. You gonna get more shit than diamonds ma. You Never heard the term kiss more frogs until I get my prince.
Like good men are not gonna holla at you the most. We only holla once in a while. We will probably be a little nervous when hollerin...please don't confuse with lack of confidence ma.
But yeah, the smooth talking players will holla at you more. It's up to you to vet better and see what's up. It is what it is
Men who are on top of the food chain , actually have way more options that they can deal with . If they are physically attractive , smart , emotionally intelligent , financially stable , and spiritual fit - they are in the 2 percent of men world wide . They worked hard to get those options and they will play the field . I’ve been around pro athletes and professionals in my family that are those men and have those men in their circles . Another point , half the their man of that 2 percent is married .
I agree both need to put in the work to make the relationship work
If he is with her and she is not wife material, he’s not a good man. He’s not husband material either. He’s toxic too!
I don't necessarily want to be single, but I will take my time.
I agree I was picking the wrong men. I know can say I have a real man that loves me unconditionally. I kept my head up, enjoyed my single life and kept God 1st
in my position I loved her unconditionally from day 1 , she lost attraction, love her unconditionally still. she just won’t see or understand it. no changing at this point
If your core values don’t align, move on from that man ASAP. If he just wants a FUN GIRL he’ll easily find his match. Don’t waste your precious time.
So many men out here ARE still dealing with toxic relationship including issues with their Mother and remain unhealed. That is a deep issue only he can address instead of jumping from woman to woman. Just tell him you have been there and done that as you move on to better if you can actually find that it exist out here. If you must remain single do so as you continue to move on to what is the best for you.
Honestly , Queen hold yourself accountable to do your own work by loving yourself the MOST.
I'm tired of hearing about men's unhealed issues. All of us have gone through trauma in childhood, and then more trauma being black in this country, and then just the general traumas of living. Men need to grow past their issues; stop whining and blaming women and everybody for your problems. Get some help! And if you don't want to get help, at least stop involving others in your mess. That's called growing up, which is what makes a man a man.
If you don't break up when you know, it's only gonna get worse. It's gonna hurt, but that's the part of growing and learning from your mistakes.
Ladies: Law Of Attraction states, That which is like unto it self is drawn. Simply put, you get what you put your attention on. So, ask yourself, do I constantly say: men ain’t crap, ain’t no good men out here, he gonna cheat on me!!!! Now you know why you keep getting these type of men!!! Find out what true unconditional love is and once you do you’ll be surprised and delighted how well your life changes and how well the boys behave! Go have fun and stay out that man’s business!
I agree with everything EXCEPT you cannot adjust/change a man. If he doesn't care about his appearance when you meet him THERE IS NO CHANGING HIM because it's not important to him.
I choose not to be single, and I will attract my energy whether he’s the one or not
My energy is warm and peaceful
With regard to the mail carrier who wrote in who needs to OUT THAT MAN ON CHILD SUPPORT..... if the man she was married to, has now decided NOT to support his kids then chances are that he was not a good husband to begin with. A man who stops taking care of his kids after a divorce is NOT GOOD so there's that.
Instead y'all are focusing on why she divorced a man who was 10 years her senior that I am guessing she met and started dating at 18... but not on why he turned out to be a deadbeat. And the fact that lots of women have that issue where they don't put men on child support after a relationship ends and he ends up being a deadbeat because he no longer lives with the child. This woman taking responsibility for the marriage ending is most likely her being taught by society that she as the woman is responsible so she is blaming herself instead of putting some of the blame on him where it belongs.
People are so dysfunctional that healthy relationships barely exist...Men and women don't see/know what a healthy relationship really looks like...We just go from one experience/relationship to the next...You can deny this if you want, but if you don't take time out to heal and reflect in between FAILED relationships to actually learn something so you understand the problem from within to govern yourself better before the next relationship - Then you are the problem...Male or Female. The sexes just continually blame one another and no one truly takes accountability or gets better and that's how we ended up here.
I love how they making so even getting in a relationship is hard work. The beginning of the relationship is the honeymoon phase. It's the light and easy part, if you are trying to take the joy out of that. I'll keep staying single.
That bruh on the 1st call does what women should do...WALK! No questions answered.
I love to go bowling and volleyball, writing music not going to the clubs and I like to go to restaurants to check out the scenery. Etc.
How many good men are there? Are there enough for every good woman?
Great episode! I love the candid advice and the jokes. 😅
I can relate. Women are tired of dating the wrong men. How can you change your type lol. How can you change what you’re attracted to.
Im a woman who totally agree with you, brothers👑🙏🏾📖
8 billion people on planet 🌏....theres gotta be someone to add to my life ...❤
Hey y'all. Just recently started watching/listening to your channel and have been enjoying the different perspectives. 🤘🏽 However, I gotta disagree on this one Fam.
1. I'm a firm believer in you are what you entertain.
2. I think it would be helpful to add 'some' not 'all' women can't be alone and seek validation. For some it truly is a preference, because trust me, if she really wanted to she could go get a man in no time. That's not hard to do at all if you just want any man. But, when you want something of value and substance you can truly decide to be alone rather than just accept any man.
3. I believe overall men seem to be the one's who have an issue being alone. They are typically the first to move on to the next after a relationship (even if it's just sex) while the woman is usually the one who stays single for a while, yet then men will throw that in a woman's face and tell her she's gonna be old and lonely because she doesn't have a man or chooses to be single. Ain't that something 😅.
4. Sometimes it isn't preference. I have seen first hand where a woman can give the good guy (educated, good father to his child, no multiple children or baby mother's, raised in two parent household, good cook, gentleman, nice and caring overall) even though wasn't preference looks and money wise still gave a chance. Yet, same "good guy" didn't know how to communicate effectively, manipulative at times, had to repeatedly asked/reminded to put forth real effort in the relationship (like why should you have to constantly say/asked to be taken out on dates?). So just because you don't always go with 'preference ' doesn't mean the one you don't 'prefer' looks, height, financially, etc., is going to work out for you either. Then they'll tell you you should have chose better. We can't win, lol!
5. You can vet well, but people are sometimes deceitful and you don't see the real them until much later. Yes, you should move on if they are not for you, but it still happens. Doesn't excuse taking accountability, because we should but, it still happens.
This! You said it better than me! Not all of is are chasing bags or in clubs or are bed hopping. They act like we will die if we don’t have a man.
The question of that man with the woman who not wife material question.
Where is the accountability? You are basically saying without saying that you wasted her time and used her body. And they think nothing is wrong with that and then be mad when that level of karma comes back his way.
Women, we also have to be more aware and intentional.
Another question that I never see posed is what is husband material because it's rarely defined. And to me, it's more than good finances and protection.
As a fat woman, this entire conversation was hilarious. 😂😂😂 sending love to everybody.
Why you say as a fat woman?
Powerful words: people are cray. The gift of goodbye without an excuse. Time to grow up.
I would love to hear more about how women deal with men who are not leveled up and act combative and argumentative in relationships. They're out there. Does that stop at a certain age? Is it just personality? Is there any chance that topic can be addressed and how women respond.
Relationships are definitely Mirror images of the self. 100% Truth!
😊❤ y’all teach me new things daily! #appreciatekrewseason
Wow what a comment. I have been single for over 3 years and willing to get back into the dating however I do believe that relationships are Real. There are men with great intentions "vet properly."😊 I am willing and waiting boing myself work relationship. Great Job BLACK MEN ❤❤
. 🥰🥰🥰
always choices .. STAND up for
What you can handle.❤️💜🌞
What kind of women are y’all talking about, not all of us go to clubs give up cookies and worry about “ bags” yet we still get hurt or cheated on. If your alone and happy that is better at this point just buy a toy and leave the men alone period. You don’t have to have a man.
Facts my ex took my out of stability and back into survival mode and couldn’t understand why I left after explaining
Sad that “ certain “ women ruin it for everyone and “ certain “ men do the same. Factually it’s simple 🤔 if you doin what you suppose to and standing on your morals you wnt accept the wrong thing or decline the right. I could be trippin but when I let go of expectations I received everything I put out✌🏽 and as he said you can’t be afraid to start over but more importantly you cannot be afraid to let go.
A gift of good bye
I love being single!!!!
There's something about dating some your own age who knows all the references you know, pop culturally and other stuff. I love that
JUST AS THE SUN RISES OVER THE DARKNESS EACH DAY
I RISE
UP FROM THE GRAVE OF PAIN AND SHAME
I RISE
BEYOND THEIR EXPECTATIONS OF ME
I RISE
ONE WITH THE ETERNAL LIGHT ALMIGHTY MOST HIGH
I SHINE
Single 12 years and its not changing #celibate
You comment that Women are leaving men alone to love on themselves and being selfish and yet you're having a whole podcast on why women are leaving men alone ? Why don't yall start doing podcast with the good guys instead of "attacking" women's choices? When half the men you meet are playing some games, what does the good guy look like ? And how are you having this convo without a woman ? Women who are working on themselves aren't afraid of being alone at this point. That's a projection.
The Shumake Way channel came out with a video a few days ago entitled, "So called good men are the ones breaking women's hearts." It's spot on.
They do do podcasts with guys who THINK they're good but those men are still ashy just like the men women be complaining about. So I could only laugh. They are so confused. 😭😭😂😂
@@Ayommari If you haven't watched his video, you should check it out. He is coming from a more spiritual perspective. Very refreshing.
@@greenqueen2673 I follow Shumake so I know his content. I was following him from before he got married. I think the first video I watched was him talking about fighting for custody of his kids.
What really like draw me away from the panel and other videos is the fact. That fact is now women don’t want to be boxed in which marriage and children. The fact is there are not a lot of good choices. Say what you want about the past women the men dated. One minute it’s the crying about not choosing the average guy. Then in the next breath it like well you new what you were getting into you should have vetted better. That when you find a lot of women like ok I’m kool.
So true absolutely true being afraid they might not find another, low self esteem also some can be bossy and like to stay in a bossy situation
Women with loving intentions shouldn't be played because they're not asking the right questions that they're just supposed to know fresh out the womb. Treat people how you want to be treated: most people know that, even if it doesn't turn romantic. Women are tired of finding out they're bad for their soul only after they answer all their questions correctly, and played the game too good for too long.
Exactly!
Women can choose "single". But it only happens in a comfortable world. These same women drive cars, make money, live in homes, go to college, and have the police for protection. But guess what,... the aforementioned is all based on men's efforts. Men build the world and make life comfortable. Women rely on men doing the dirty work of building a comfortable world, but women deny the comfort that men built . If women recognized what's really happening, they would have more respect for men in general. And their relationships with men would improve
What’s the point. Those things are offered as a result of employment, not personal relationships. You too enjoy those benefits other men put the work into as well, do you not?
@@Gem-n-life The point was clear. And you gave the typical female narrative
@@ericb7776-🤣 I didn’t give a narrative. I gave fact to your narrative. It was sheer logic, which knows no gender.
@@Gem-n-life No ma'am. I gave you logic and you gave the exact classic female narrative I said in the first post
@@ericb7776 -I simply stated men who do not do construction work, who don’t do electrical work, who are not engineers, architects, plumbers, HVAC, concrete workers, or law enforcement, also enjoy the benefits of other men’s labour. Is this not true? Again, my statement is indeed logical. There’s not one emotion in my response. Nor was there a narrative written. 😊
Universal Law= You attract what you are! ...
That is why I let slot of people go in my life,cause bigger and better things are coming my way ,it's a plan I have had for it ever since I was 12years old.
Lately i have been seeing many signs of me talking to him and he actually showing me of what i already knew. what he doing for me my wealth is right at the end of tunnel. i smell and i could see it so now is grind time for me planting what i want for my single life .is been 15 years of not dating i love it now i want to travel and help the weak and sick moving forward.
Where is God in your life
This is random it’s funny
You are right, Sis! That is the whole problem in a nutshell.
Speak yr mind no toxic communicate is very important admit when yr wrong not blame on other , . This is real talk
Facts though. All truth speak the truth