Belle, you are something special. This session made me feel like jumping through my phone to come hug you and just get it into your head that you are such a beautiful soul and seems like you have a huge heart to give even though unfortunately you had to hear awful lies throughout your childhood from someone you looked up to and trusted. I’m so sorry for that. The universe will not give you lessons like this unless you were meant for amazing things. Stay the course and believe in yourself and trust you will be at peace with Becky. I named mine girl Bianca! Because my name is Brittni, your name made me laugh. We think alike. Stay brave! I’m 45 and am still healing from my journey but I will love every minute of it. ❤
Belle is so lovely, it's criminal that she has ended up like this because of someone else's behaviour to her as a child. Thank you for sharing this. I am 70 now and in a very different place, but I remember being where Belle is now. Keep going Belle I believe in you xx
“There are men that have healing to do and either don’t know that they have to do it, or don’t want to do it and so it’s easier to get a young woman who is easily manipulated or molded that isn’t going to challenge them to grow.” #HONORXSeries
Let’s talk about how Belle’s father let HER down!! No one should ever say such things about another person, let alone YOUR DAUGHTER!! I really pray that Belle can let all that go, and give her inner critic to her father to deal with for a while!! I stood up to my father (on a few occasions). The last time, he properly gas lit me. I then went no contact. We did not resolve anything before he died and, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I get really confused with this approach of telling my inner critic to f*** off versus the approach of viewing the inner critic as a wounded part of myself that actually needs love. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that? Thanks!
I’m sorry if this is harsh but her dad is really cruel. I wonder if he has any idea how much he’s damaged his daughter by his actions about her weight. Honestly heartbreaking 💔
Parents underestimate how much their words have an impact on their child’s relationship with food. All my friends with EDs it stemmed from their mother. I’m fortunate that my parents never overly complimented/praised me on my appearance and also never insulted me. If I asked how I look she’d say you look good, never a single comment on my weight whether I was fat or thin and I’ve been both. I’m really thankful for that as I realised I’ve been blessed to never had any bad relationship with food, I’ve eaten intuitively my whole life and there is no guilt associated with food. My parents have other issues that have damaged me like all of us but this was one thing they did a good job at 😂
@banandababa you're so right. This is why it makes me uncomfortable commenting on people's weight loss etc unless I know they REALLY want to hear it and even then it doesn't sit well with me. I love the people in my life at any weight so I don't feel the need. I've struggled with my weight/food as long as I can remember and I'm convinced it's cos I have a family obsessed by it.
Belle is so lovely and so relatable 💗 I'm going through therapy (started about 3 months ago) and yet to really go in depth like this about my weight/body issues. The only reason I haven't yet is because of so many other issues including trauma/SA plus my Mum being terminally ill with not long left 😔 But I definitely need to address it because my inner critic is very harsh! I've had a full on eating disorder and I've weighed 3 stone more than I do now but also 2.5stone less. I'm struggling a lot right now with body image and I know even though I love my Mum so so much, she's my hero.. when I was a child I'd dread clothes shopping because of how she'd point out my weight. My weight was constantly commented on and I know that's partly why I have issues now. But yes, huge respect to Belle and if only she could see what we all see in that she's a stunning, beautiful girl with a good heart ❤
Been there, done that... a major issue I have is about my looks, I've gained so much weight, I can't be seen by people, can't go to places where my body could be seen, I work entirely online, so my overweight is giving me a hard time but I'm also hideous for other reasons, thin hair, big face and I cannot be without make-up. I literally feel like a monster. I'm dealing with this with my therapist, she thinks it's body dysmorphia, I wished that was true because it's such a burden when you just feel like you can't show yourself to anybody. I can't even look into the mirror. It's tough. I understand anybody dealing with a similar issue. I truly believe life would be so much better if I was good-looking.
It's so true, you never get to the 'right' weight as it then becomes something else. Like my hair is shit, my boobs are too small, my stomach isn't flat etc. I've learnt my body is my temple. Look after it as it is. ❤
There's a joke about someone criticizing other person that they are fat, and the answer is : we can't all be thin, someone has to be pretty, too. I have tried to say this few times and in time realized that the person was really looking ugly, so I stopped myself. 😊 And the woman on the video is pretty. ❤️
Felt her comment on feeling like she let her dad down by gaining weight. I feel the same thing but to.both my parents, like they could'nt be proud i was their daughter because i wasn't as attractive when i gain weight. My mom was bulimic most of her life and my dad commented on womens weight and our appearances. Im 40 and still struggle with body image and never feeling attractive enough.
Inner critic is a pattern of neural firing thats lodged in implicit memory and has a reflexive nature. It hasnt updated itself through cognitive way of understanding itself as its encoded in our feeling brain so i m not sure how by trying to rationally understand it any effect will be achieved. I think memory reconsolodation is a more effective way to update that pattern emotional learning.
OUCH! Man oh man that hurt 😂🤣😂 I always hated my name & also never knew anyone with my name for all my early life. I always believed there is nothing lovely, nothing worthy about me & I'm completely ugly & unloveable. Obviously I've lived with a very big cruel inner critic all my life until very recently at 70yo I am some what freer from that torment. Then this adorable young grrrl names her inner critic My Name!! 😱🙄🤔🤩🎉😎 Good thing I can roll with things much better now so it's funny. But WOW 🤩🎉😎
@@AlexHowardTherapy Thank You kind Sir. It is because wise & kind ppl like You have loved me & shown me with their actions & their words that they think I have worth. So with Jesus help & these kind souls I have begun to believe an inner voice that is not my critic but the Spirit of God manifested as my conscience. Good stuff! I made a choice to believe a different voice than the one I had always known. It isn't dead but very small & weak as I don't feed that dog any more 😍🙏🏼🗝️💎
This sounds so much like my story. I ended up with an eating disorder due to childhood neglect and abuse and a hige part of that was and still is body shaming. My Mum is so manipulative i don't know how to deal with her
How do I get rid of my inner critic around my looks when I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to not think I’m ugly? I’ve been able to disengage with my inner critics in other regards (eg: I’m not intelligent enough, etc), but when it comes to my appearance it just feels so insurmountable.
Wow, this is one hell of a courageous lady to not only be willing to do the work but to also let it be public - kudos to her!
Belle, you are something special. This session made me feel like jumping through my phone to come hug you and just get it into your head that you are such a beautiful soul and seems like you have a huge heart to give even though unfortunately you had to hear awful lies throughout your childhood from someone you looked up to and trusted. I’m so sorry for that. The universe will not give you lessons like this unless you were meant for amazing things. Stay the course and believe in yourself and trust you will be at peace with Becky. I named mine girl Bianca! Because my name is Brittni, your name made me laugh. We think alike. Stay brave! I’m 45 and am still healing from my journey but I will love every minute of it. ❤
So glad you are enjoying and finding usefel!
Belle is so lovely, it's criminal that she has ended up like this because of someone else's behaviour to her as a child. Thank you for sharing this. I am 70 now and in a very different place, but I remember being where Belle is now. Keep going Belle I believe in you xx
I am 52, and I resonate so much with Belle.
It's a cruel cycle for sure... glad to hear you are in a different place now
“There are men that have healing to do and either don’t know that they have to do it, or don’t want to do it and so it’s easier to get a young woman who is easily manipulated or molded that isn’t going to challenge them to grow.” #HONORXSeries
Let’s talk about how Belle’s father let HER down!! No one should ever say such things about another person, let alone YOUR DAUGHTER!! I really pray that Belle can let all that go, and give her inner critic to her father to deal with for a while!! I stood up to my father (on a few occasions). The last time, he properly gas lit me. I then went no contact. We did not resolve anything before he died and, I wouldn’t change a thing.
The problem is that often people are hurt through ignorance and lack of sensitivity, not necessarily lack of love....
@ I get that. I’m just more black and white with it I guess; through my experiences.
I get really confused with this approach of telling my inner critic to f*** off versus the approach of viewing the inner critic as a wounded part of myself that actually needs love. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that? Thanks!
I’m sorry if this is harsh but her dad is really cruel. I wonder if he has any idea how much he’s damaged his daughter by his actions about her weight. Honestly heartbreaking 💔
The problem is that often people don't realise - hurt people hurt people....
Parents underestimate how much their words have an impact on their child’s relationship with food. All my friends with EDs it stemmed from their mother.
I’m fortunate that my parents never overly complimented/praised me on my appearance and also never insulted me. If I asked how I look she’d say you look good, never a single comment on my weight whether I was fat or thin and I’ve been both. I’m really thankful for that as I realised I’ve been blessed to never had any bad relationship with food, I’ve eaten intuitively my whole life and there is no guilt associated with food. My parents have other issues that have damaged me like all of us but this was one thing they did a good job at 😂
@banandababa you're so right. This is why it makes me uncomfortable commenting on people's weight loss etc unless I know they REALLY want to hear it and even then it doesn't sit well with me. I love the people in my life at any weight so I don't feel the need. I've struggled with my weight/food as long as I can remember and I'm convinced it's cos I have a family obsessed by it.
Belle is so lovely and so relatable 💗
I'm going through therapy (started about 3 months ago) and yet to really go in depth like this about my weight/body issues. The only reason I haven't yet is because of so many other issues including trauma/SA plus my Mum being terminally ill with not long left 😔
But I definitely need to address it because my inner critic is very harsh! I've had a full on eating disorder and I've weighed 3 stone more than I do now but also 2.5stone less. I'm struggling a lot right now with body image and I know even though I love my Mum so so much, she's my hero.. when I was a child I'd dread clothes shopping because of how she'd point out my weight. My weight was constantly commented on and I know that's partly why I have issues now.
But yes, huge respect to Belle and if only she could see what we all see in that she's a stunning, beautiful girl with a good heart ❤
Glad you are finding the series helpful - keep going :-)
Been there, done that... a major issue I have is about my looks, I've gained so much weight, I can't be seen by people, can't go to places where my body could be seen, I work entirely online, so my overweight is giving me a hard time but I'm also hideous for other reasons, thin hair, big face and I cannot be without make-up. I literally feel like a monster. I'm dealing with this with my therapist, she thinks it's body dysmorphia, I wished that was true because it's such a burden when you just feel like you can't show yourself to anybody. I can't even look into the mirror. It's tough. I understand anybody dealing with a similar issue. I truly believe life would be so much better if I was good-looking.
Sorry to hear of your challenges, I'm glad you are watching the series and hope it is helpful...
@AlexHowardTherapy Thanks a lot, yes the series is very interesting, just like the ones in the past.
It's so true, you never get to the 'right' weight as it then becomes something else. Like my hair is shit, my boobs are too small, my stomach isn't flat etc. I've learnt my body is my temple. Look after it as it is. ❤
It's a never ending spiral until we break it.... we will never be good enough for our inner critic!
There's a joke about someone criticizing other person that they are fat, and the answer is : we can't all be thin, someone has to be pretty, too. I have tried to say this few times and in time realized that the person was really looking ugly, so I stopped myself. 😊 And the woman on the video is pretty. ❤️
SO helpful
So pleased to hear it :-)
Felt her comment on feeling like she let her dad down by gaining weight. I feel the same thing but to.both my parents, like they could'nt be proud i was their daughter because i wasn't as attractive when i gain weight. My mom was bulimic most of her life and my dad commented on womens weight and our appearances. Im 40 and still struggle with body image and never feeling attractive enough.
Inner critic is a pattern of neural firing thats lodged in implicit memory and has a reflexive nature. It hasnt updated itself through cognitive way of understanding itself as its encoded in our feeling brain so i m not sure how by trying to rationally understand it any effect will be achieved. I think memory reconsolodation is a more effective way to update that pattern emotional learning.
OUCH! Man oh man that hurt 😂🤣😂
I always hated my name & also never knew anyone with my name for all my early life.
I always believed there is nothing lovely, nothing worthy about me & I'm completely ugly & unloveable.
Obviously I've lived with a very big cruel inner critic all my life until very recently at 70yo I am some what freer from that torment.
Then this adorable young grrrl names her inner critic My Name!! 😱🙄🤔🤩🎉😎
Good thing I can roll with things much better now so it's funny. But WOW 🤩🎉😎
Sorry to hear of your struggles, glad to hear you've been healing and moving through it....
@@AlexHowardTherapy Thank You kind Sir. It is because wise & kind ppl like You have loved me & shown me with their actions & their words that they think I have worth. So with Jesus help & these kind souls I have begun to believe an inner voice that is not my critic but the Spirit of God manifested as my conscience. Good stuff! I made a choice to believe a different voice than the one I had always known. It isn't dead but very small & weak as I don't feed that dog any more 😍🙏🏼🗝️💎
The name "Becky" literally popped into my head when Alex said "What do you want to call her?" 😄
This is a prime example of how fatphobia harms everyone not just fat people.
This sounds so much like my story. I ended up with an eating disorder due to childhood neglect and abuse and a hige part of that was and still is body shaming. My Mum is so manipulative i don't know how to deal with her
Definitely check our Hayley's In Therapy series, I think you will resonate with it
How do I get rid of my inner critic around my looks when I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to not think I’m ugly? I’ve been able to disengage with my inner critics in other regards (eg: I’m not intelligent enough, etc), but when it comes to my appearance it just feels so insurmountable.
Keep watching the series, and go back to previous episodes focused on the inner critic as well!