Pornography Isn't Your Problem | Jason Mahr | TEDxCincinnati

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ส.ค. 2016
  • Health relationships begin with letting go of what is unhealthy. Jason Mahr describes how you can let go of what is damaging and promote healthy relationships in your life.
    that exists to help coach people to overcome personal constraints while
    focusing on renewing the mind. With over 20 years of experience in
    working in churches and counseling others, Jason’s desire to lead others
    comes from the struggle of overcoming a 23 year battle in his life. The
    struggle that gripped him for so long was released through a healthy
    relationship built on honesty and vulnerability. No longer having to battle
    on his own, Jason was set free, and now devotes his life to helping others
    find freedom as well! For more information, please visit www.restoringminds.org
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 2.9K

  • @Mu_sh3bn
    @Mu_sh3bn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6023

    an Egyptian author called Ahmed Khalid Tawfiq said :
    " when you give up some type of addiction , the biggest problem for you will be your free time .
    when you beat your free time , you can beat your addiction . "

    • @tmasarweh
      @tmasarweh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      الله غالب well .. with more time youre more likely to beat your junk again lol

    • @docsnock5297
      @docsnock5297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      This is the most real thing I've read in a while. This is right where I'm at in life.

    • @BlakeRyder-zs6iz
      @BlakeRyder-zs6iz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's true

    • @MARTIN-101
      @MARTIN-101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      This comment should be on top .

    • @manojkumar-yd1pf
      @manojkumar-yd1pf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      One of the Great Line I've ever heard

  • @TROOP235
    @TROOP235 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5436

    That's why he is a good pastor. He admits he is human. I have so much respect for him.

    • @DD-fs7pg
      @DD-fs7pg 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Lorenzo Caldwell
      What, y would he be anything else if he's a pastor.

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      rtha: They already demoted him to janiter. Clearly, they prefer hypocrites.

    • @mostwant3dgov
      @mostwant3dgov 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I do agree that hypocrisy has been a major weakness in the church. From the pews as well as the pulpits.

    • @rockingpox2274
      @rockingpox2274 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As most pastors do

    • @Annatar3019
      @Annatar3019 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@bradyrobertson5697 he wasn't shaming him, he was shaming the people who demoted him (in his defense). Also learn to use punctuation, your comment is near unreadable.

  • @connorcaple2778
    @connorcaple2778 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5221

    I think the spiritual root to all addictions is the need to be loved.

    • @JoshuaMNielsen
      @JoshuaMNielsen 6 ปีที่แล้ว +330

      And something to do (i.e. vocation, purpose). Purposelessness breeds discontent. But I agree that love is key.

    • @pradipta9345
      @pradipta9345 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      ya i agree

    • @MadhurBagai
      @MadhurBagai 6 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      And in scientific terms, Serotonin not Dopamine.

    • @pingu7271
      @pingu7271 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Josh Nielsen Smart men!

    • @visitorzeta1669
      @visitorzeta1669 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      This is the answer to my addiction

  • @santanumohapatra1326
    @santanumohapatra1326 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1790

    "Addiction is a symptom for a deeper problem."

    • @randomdude9135
      @randomdude9135 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      This comment actually made me stop n think about it. It's true. Thanks for that insight. Now my goal is clear. I've to find what's that deep problem in my life. Then no addition n no problems

    • @KaiLiuvisual
      @KaiLiuvisual 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@randomdude9135 you still need to fight through the biological aspect. It is not like that one day you discovered your root cause, then your addiction cured.

    • @DJblake33365
      @DJblake33365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Most problem is lack of self love

    • @brianmarinho6355
      @brianmarinho6355 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I believe it's worthy to consider the spiritual aspect around it as well. A strong belief in God and a good deal of sobriety surely has helped me ovet the years against addictions in general. Stay in Jesus. Cheers.

    • @marioconstantino6740
      @marioconstantino6740 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Santanu Mohapatra I want love ☹️

  • @wkrapek
    @wkrapek 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3434

    I think we've just been overthinking addiction all these decades. We're mostly just lonely. And mostly because we're just not paying authentic attention to each other.

    • @Phantom-ez4zv
      @Phantom-ez4zv 7 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      William Krapek True, we just need some tinder love and hugs.. preferably from hot chicks from time to time

    • @basilmweramakokha9557
      @basilmweramakokha9557 6 ปีที่แล้ว +139

      Humans are quite severely unequipped when it comes to communication. And communication is the key to connecting which is the key to ending loneliness.
      Animals communicate better than we do.
      It's our very ability and limitless capacity to surpass our instinctive nature that puts us above any known living being.
      But it's that same capacity that makes us particularly vulnerable to loneliness.

    • @jeanmanche5482
      @jeanmanche5482 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Adopted Hippo I hear you for the preferred choice of hot chicks ...dogs are nice too but they tend to lack in the boobs department :)

    • @alejandromorenogonzalez4949
      @alejandromorenogonzalez4949 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      William Krapek amen

    • @youhavenoprivacyandownnoth8289
      @youhavenoprivacyandownnoth8289 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      loneliness is also an illness

  • @meatymeatymoo5341
    @meatymeatymoo5341 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6429

    Porn's not really a major problem for me, though I occasionally relapse, but it's the _memories_ of all the porn from over the years that hurt me. I'd give anything to rip that sick crap out of my head.

    • @artdisciple
      @artdisciple 7 ปีที่แล้ว +198

      so true

    • @hakeemsd70m
      @hakeemsd70m 7 ปีที่แล้ว +293

      Meaty Meaty Moo I feel you, because I still suffer from porn addiction. I hope one day to be free, but that future is very bleak. I apologize for my pessimism.

    • @mnkwazi
      @mnkwazi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Auzzy Friez why watch the sick things?

    • @cherrapincroft2028
      @cherrapincroft2028 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      well but you can theres only one wayy menn, just ask me

    • @robertkamau1664
      @robertkamau1664 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      I have been there ,almost cut my hand off coz struggled with masturbation and worst of it all I never touched a prostitutes vagina then use the same hand to feed myself, I punish myself coz I took myself there at that point and continue to handle edible stuff with it. I gotta pay the price for the crap I did

  • @HigherWisdom
    @HigherWisdom 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4670

    Porn is a thief of time. For some, years of your life gone.

    • @alissaspafford8846
      @alissaspafford8846 6 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      HigherWisdom so is work. just think of how many hours of your life you have spent just to p rent for a month.

    • @roskichan3001
      @roskichan3001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      Everything is thieves example. Relationships, doing your hobbies, work, making money and *EVERYTHING!* So stop.

    • @fml5910
      @fml5910 5 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      So true. Doing drugs,,watching tv all day, waste years also.

    • @oralferguson2792
      @oralferguson2792 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      On phone

    • @sporadicnature2718
      @sporadicnature2718 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      You could say everything is a waste of time, everything enjoyable takes up time

  • @yingyotnebbua2079
    @yingyotnebbua2079 4 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    "Addiction is just a symptom of a deeper problem." Nice one. Big respect for this man.

  • @eatgrass123
    @eatgrass123 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2045

    Wow, when he said the part about the need for approval, that hit deep.

    • @kingsenorali8139
      @kingsenorali8139 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      eatgrass123 what exactly does he mean by approval

    • @h.a.6790
      @h.a.6790 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Approval means being accepted by others.

    • @kingsenorali8139
      @kingsenorali8139 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      H. A. So that's y ppl do things?

    • @michaelatwell8724
      @michaelatwell8724 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I don't get how the two relate

    • @eddenoy321
      @eddenoy321 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      They don't relate Michael. There are hateful women posting here telling you that masturbation is harmful.

  • @aqil4519
    @aqil4519 5 ปีที่แล้ว +728

    day 42, my grades went from 50%-60& to 70%100%

    • @jerrymobley4394
      @jerrymobley4394 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      This is awesome. I'm going down the path. Congratulations

    • @ogfridgeman5546
      @ogfridgeman5546 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      what a g

    • @Dominator002
      @Dominator002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Did the grades go above 100 after day 50 😂

    • @aqil4519
      @aqil4519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Fyltrix Flix i used to tell myself that god is watching me when i do these things and how will this ever benefit me and stuff i dont really know what to tell you lol

    • @ur-didact1991
      @ur-didact1991 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@aqil4519 me too brother

  • @davidhoward7691
    @davidhoward7691 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I finally gave it up after realizing it wasn’t just affecting my relationships with my wife and kids, it was something I needed to give up for me, for my mental state. The first month was very difficult. What I found was after a full month without it, my relationships got better with every single person in my life. I felt less angry. I felt more in sync with my wife and co-workers. It was crazy when I found out how bad it really was for me. And I would have never known had I not stuck with it in the long term. I am now years into my “sobriety” and I’ll never go back.

    • @jasonmahr6327
      @jasonmahr6327 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let's connect!

    • @Maestro-K1121
      @Maestro-K1121 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So happy for you! Amen. That is beautiful.

    • @pspT61
      @pspT61 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It took me losing my ex GF to see the damage it caused on us and her mental state. Trashed my stash and don’t have the desire to consume it anymore. Need to find the root issue within myself.

    • @nwekekelvinakachukwu6556
      @nwekekelvinakachukwu6556 วันที่ผ่านมา

      How can I stop it I need help

  • @MantisUzumaki
    @MantisUzumaki 3 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    Mad respect for him admitting his faults, especially as a pastor. Society tends to judge religious and faith oriented people more than themselves. No ones perfect. Don’t play with hypocrisy. Look in the mirror and tell me you’re better than everyone.

  • @sthalxndr
    @sthalxndr 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8129

    Nofap community where you at

  • @allstar4life3000
    @allstar4life3000 7 ปีที่แล้ว +719

    So crazy how this addiction can be looked at as comical or funny, but it's crazy how crucial it is to everyday life for a lot of people. Abstaining from porn can/will change your entire life for so much better. It's a damn struggle though..

    • @jmonlive
      @jmonlive 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Drew...no YOU are crazy, turd!

    • @chibyk2008
      @chibyk2008 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Did you try doing it. How do you feel looking at ladys around you.

    • @y7952
      @y7952 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      DrewVillain it should be banned. Let people fantasize for god sake.

    • @8v71buses
      @8v71buses 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yep it’s a struggle alright. But it’s definitely worth the fight to work on overcoming it that is for sure

    • @l0ovechild47
      @l0ovechild47 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Jon Vester keep telling yourself that buddy :)

  • @allenp303
    @allenp303 5 ปีที่แล้ว +536

    Day 210. No urges.

  • @allinonechannel6782
    @allinonechannel6782 4 ปีที่แล้ว +187

    101 days of nofap....
    life has improved so much

    • @cesar3989
      @cesar3989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      How

    • @alexstorr5511
      @alexstorr5511 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      How are things since you left this comment, have you managed to keep it going?

    • @vickjr98
      @vickjr98 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Any updates pal...

    • @mohsenhomaid
      @mohsenhomaid 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Updates?

  • @deeluvsu4l
    @deeluvsu4l 3 ปีที่แล้ว +326

    I'm stopping today wish me luck

    • @zowtoe
      @zowtoe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Good luck, man. Stay strong.

    • @mercedesb6184
      @mercedesb6184 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You’ve got this !

    • @arielgaray302
      @arielgaray302 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You can do it man! Us both! Fuerza! 👊♥️

    • @davidroche8627
      @davidroche8627 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      So it's been a month..how you doing? Today is day one for me

    • @gjwkzvaksb368
      @gjwkzvaksb368 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So...

  • @aestheticbaal7390
    @aestheticbaal7390 5 ปีที่แล้ว +797

    A minute of pleasure, and an eternity of Suffering. not in a religous Context though.

    • @isaaconyeleonu2533
      @isaaconyeleonu2533 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Correct all the same

    • @darrenwang8879
      @darrenwang8879 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Very Shakespearean.

    • @ioftenarguewithidiots.3811
      @ioftenarguewithidiots.3811 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      It's true in religious context also

    • @youstilldontwantit1590
      @youstilldontwantit1590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ioftenarguewithidiots.3811 no

    • @Imokyourok440
      @Imokyourok440 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@ioftenarguewithidiots.3811 if a loving God would send one of his creations to eternal hellfire for behaving in way that he doesn’t agree with, then God isn’t loving and doesn’t deserve our love.

  • @leavur6051
    @leavur6051 6 ปีที่แล้ว +903

    I feel that alot of you guys aren't getting what he meant by addictions like porn giving you approval. Let me put it differently. Whenever you leave your comfort zone, by learning something new, studying or approaching a girl, there's is this feeling of insecurity that comes with it. Your body's trying to fill in this gap somehow and in the past you've done it by watching porn which provided you with an instant pleasurable feeling almost without any effort. It served you as an easy escape route from the feeling of being unsure. In the future you have to learn to deal with such feelings as uncertainty that come along on the path of living a healthy life without using porn or any other drug.

    • @chibyk2008
      @chibyk2008 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Leavur I
      You confused me the more.

    • @linglingkong6785
      @linglingkong6785 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thanks for explaining . As being a foreigner, i feel much more easy to get it after your explanation.

    • @MrNolos
      @MrNolos 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Thank you, sir. This is exactly what I wanted to read. That is how I felt about what he said. I feel that he discussed a topic that is somehow trivial, but he stepped on something way(!) deeper than that. It's not just about quiting your addiction, that is the outcome that reults from changing your mentality, your lifestyle and the way you perceive the world. Addictions are vicious cycles, to escape them you have to leave your comfort zone, which puts a lot of pressure on you, pressure that can make you relapse...

    • @billsmith7573
      @billsmith7573 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Very very smart!

    • @Debord1
      @Debord1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Good explanation, thanks for that!

  • @carolvevle8190
    @carolvevle8190 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    An addiction isn't your fault, but doing nothing about it is!! I'm so proud of you for what you have accomplished & admitted. To beat addiction, the first thing you need to do is admit you have a problem!! Thank you, for your honesty!!

  • @Chann223
    @Chann223 7 ปีที่แล้ว +272

    The better way for him to say it would have been, " We get addicted to what makes us feel loved". Approval, to me, is just another form of love.

    • @soulfuzz368
      @soulfuzz368 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well put my friend.

    • @basic-decaf
      @basic-decaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Approval isn't love. You might "feel loved" but real love does not approve of behavior that harms yourself of others. Love would work with you to stop that behavior.

    • @thirdplanet4471
      @thirdplanet4471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He did say, "addictions are a symptom of a deeper problem"

    • @sarthak1314
      @sarthak1314 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you addicted to your mother's love?

  • @ricardointrnc14
    @ricardointrnc14 7 ปีที่แล้ว +425

    Trying to quit porn.. coke.. alcohol..

    • @ImBlackIvy
      @ImBlackIvy 7 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      the whole trinity, fight the demon man..fight.

    • @Lalala-fz2ci
      @Lalala-fz2ci 7 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      VirtusEtHonestas Coca Cola?

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Look up: Rat Park.
      Quitting is easy under the right circumstances.

    • @alexbuehner4967
      @alexbuehner4967 7 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Stay strong, pray. If you don't pray you are prey.

    • @mikemailei4491
      @mikemailei4491 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      porn isnt the problem! u can always put out the fire! but you need to slay the dragon where the fire comes from! "Slay the dragons in youre life" this guy hit it on point!
      Love youreself! than you can love another.

  • @y33tboy97
    @y33tboy97 5 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    I heard that addiction always leads to depression

    • @8v71buses
      @8v71buses 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      y33tboy It’s true because I’m bipolar type 2 and hypomania, depression and anxiety hits even harder when struggling with addiction

    • @shogunkamakura7358
      @shogunkamakura7358 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @dontknow apathy

    • @tikibelieve3238
      @tikibelieve3238 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah. And vice versa

    • @NyuuPhyllo
      @NyuuPhyllo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Technically, I guess you can say that basically every addiction out there leads to depression, right?

    • @mdomarfaruk6914
      @mdomarfaruk6914 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      i also believe

  • @joshryker6535
    @joshryker6535 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    just relapsed. starting over today. haven't gone longer than 3 weeks in a while. pray for a brother.

  • @brian6696
    @brian6696 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2108

    All those in favor of nofap✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

    • @jzblue345
      @jzblue345 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      In favor of nofap I like the real thing better lol

    • @craker213
      @craker213 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Brian is masturbation a sin?

    • @pphyjynx8217
      @pphyjynx8217 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      david new there are no sins.

    • @chappygrandpappy2450
      @chappygrandpappy2450 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      david new::: yes lust of the eyes.. Adultery as well

    • @chappygrandpappy2450
      @chappygrandpappy2450 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      PP Hyjynx God's real my guy

  • @Diaamohy
    @Diaamohy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I just started to refrain completely from this Filth, wish me luck!

  • @merlynpaul2091
    @merlynpaul2091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I admire this pastors' courage, generoisty and the need to help people with his experience ...

  • @terrencemcdaniel6605
    @terrencemcdaniel6605 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    When he started talking about not being able to handle rejection, I felt that. The idea of failing or being told no in any facet of life is terrifying to me.

  • @Crambull
    @Crambull 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1351

    Not a matter of approval for me. To me, porn is the underlying problem here to things like lack of social skills, anxiety, etc.

    • @Amokacisjj
      @Amokacisjj 7 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Same here. Go NoFap!

    • @krishaynes4275
      @krishaynes4275 7 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      is your social anxiety a need to be accepted tho?

    • @setho1231
      @setho1231 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Better Every Day porn is a fruit, not a root

    • @handicappedhero
      @handicappedhero 7 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Porn isn't objectively a bad thing. The problem is bad porn.
      In the right hands, pornography can be created that fosters intimacy, self-confidence, and peace. The real problem is that the porn I'm describing as edifying makes up maybe .0001% of all porn.

    • @Amokacisjj
      @Amokacisjj 7 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      handicappedhero Problem is, nobody really watches that type of porn.

  • @wynterbreeze1202
    @wynterbreeze1202 7 ปีที่แล้ว +833

    This is so real! I'm a woman yet I identify wholehearted with this man. Using pornography as a deterrence from my pain. Thank you Jesus for this message.

    • @ucefkh
      @ucefkh 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Be happy Farrah as your name means happinnes ;)

    • @joelrodriguez1232
      @joelrodriguez1232 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      God bless you Farrah.

    • @GhostRider659
      @GhostRider659 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      living up to your name I see.

    • @joelrodriguez1232
      @joelrodriguez1232 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Anacleto lol

    • @yukononun
      @yukononun 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      His name is Jason, not Jesus.

  • @Wideominder
    @Wideominder 5 ปีที่แล้ว +507

    2 hours nofap, i am with you

  • @sealeper7334
    @sealeper7334 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This was truly eye-opening; i can see now how I've always been unaware of my fear of rejection. Thank you for helping me realize this fear and link it to my addiction. It has changed my life

  • @jerrychamnichanh9353
    @jerrychamnichanh9353 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1546

    6 months porn free. I don't necessarily believe approval is the underlying base for this or many addictions although it might be for some. Decent talk regardless.

    • @AcKeLiVoPasT
      @AcKeLiVoPasT 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Jerry Chamnichanh did ur life change even a little bit?

    • @jerrychamnichanh9353
      @jerrychamnichanh9353 7 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Hey, Aleksandar. Yes, my life has changed quite a bit. Many changes were gradual and barely noticeable until I did some reflection. I actually made a video on my channel about my 6-month lifestyle change. Be sure to check it out if you want to know what those changes were and feel free to comment any questions you may have. Cheers!

    • @jerrychamnichanh9353
      @jerrychamnichanh9353 7 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Hey, mikeMcoa. I began my journey of quitting porn about 2 years ago. At first, I was relapsing often even if I made it to a month or so. I believe the difference this time around is that I kept myself as busy as possible. Whenever I felt an urge, I would work on something such as school work, doing my chores, or going for a walk. I would say after about 3 months, the momentum was in my favor. Urges still come up but it had less control. I hope this may help you on your journey!

    • @mikeMcoa
      @mikeMcoa 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you

    • @kerryjlynch1
      @kerryjlynch1 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jerry Chamnichanh

  • @Evajeanfreedom
    @Evajeanfreedom 7 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Brave man and good speech. Coach Cory Wayne once said that addiction comes from an inability to feel

  • @laurieewilson
    @laurieewilson 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I appreciate your candor, and relating addictions to a need for approval. I have overcome addictions with alcohol and food, so I relate to the power of addictions. I hope you get through to many.

  • @michaeljames4194
    @michaeljames4194 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think that is the shortest ted talks and also the one that hit me the hardest. Hit the nail on the head to the extent it brought me to tears. Thank-you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing this with us.

  • @MoesFingers
    @MoesFingers 7 ปีที่แล้ว +622

    lol comments aren't disabled for once

    • @swamplife3148
      @swamplife3148 7 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      Yes why do they disable comments and stop people from discussing the video further. Its retarded.

    • @KevinStiff86
      @KevinStiff86 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Because the Keyboard Warriors usually end up engaging in a highly intense religious/race war that creates unnecessary chaos.

    • @swamplife3148
      @swamplife3148 7 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      It's the youtube comment section. Pretty much every video has ridiculous arguments and bigotry. Doesn't mean the people who are interested in a real discussion should be silenced too. I'm always skeptical of a youtube channel that disables comments or likes/dislikes.

    • @KevinStiff86
      @KevinStiff86 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I agree with you. I have no problem siffing through the computer warfare in the name of having meaningful and productive dialogue on different topics. Unfortunately, a lot of people that run channels on the site choose to be politically correct and non-confrontational in the name of maximizing subscription potential.

    • @mildreramos4616
      @mildreramos4616 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Moe Zuiter . 👎 ctrl surfboard I'll oy cu 6h czar

  • @santiagomacias7943
    @santiagomacias7943 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Great respect from some one who is this brave to open up such a huge inner struggle, and is ready to be vulnerable in order to help people. As Jason Mahr, I want to take my bravery step to and confess that I also have been trying to fight this addiction for a couple of years. I find out that as much as I tried to fight against it, it comes back in one way or another. I think that Jason Mahr got a point, there is something deeper than pornography that keeps you into that bad habit. Just wanted to get this out there and hopefully win in confidence every single day.

  • @victorjemiseye2786
    @victorjemiseye2786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Addiction and depression work together. Depression leads to addiction, addiction leads to more depression and vice versa

    • @8v71buses
      @8v71buses 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      victor Jemiseye Yes that is very very true and it really sucks for us bipolar type 1 and 2 people unfortunately

  • @cquinn185
    @cquinn185 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    In a world full of lies, corruption, and hypocrisy, it is wonderful when someone tells the truth in order to help others even if it exposes themselves. This was really a great testimony because we all have addictions that destroy our self-esteem and keep us from a relationship with God who is the only one that can feel that emptiness.

  • @mdude9211
    @mdude9211 7 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    Finally a good point about pornography. People try to prove it with science but it isn't good enough. As Jason mentioned we try to use pornography to escape our lives but if we fix our lives maybe it will be less of an out we reach for. I will keep it in mind. Thanks.

  • @usmamaslam88
    @usmamaslam88 7 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Awesome Lecture. ! Hats off to the guy and sharing his insight . Thanks Sir !

  • @sonsofliberty75
    @sonsofliberty75 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The shame and guilt that envelops you immediately after is emotionally devastating! Then in a few hours it all passes and every tomorrow it all repeats!

  • @mulletcity
    @mulletcity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I’m addicted and I’ve tried many times to quit but I can’t stop..

    • @rentapasiva
      @rentapasiva 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You said it "You can't stop", it is already in your mind. Your thoughts build your reality, if you say that you can't, then you can't, what about if you think and say that you CAN stop it?

    • @mulletcity
      @mulletcity 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don’t know if I have it in me to stop, I’ve tried many times and failed..
      I’m a failure

    • @kaumohlamonyane272
      @kaumohlamonyane272 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Idk if you are an individual of faith or not however I managed to stop after praying for years about it.

    • @sydoly123
      @sydoly123 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Check out easy peasy ebook

  • @TechWiz1983
    @TechWiz1983 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This video was a real eye opener! After watching this I am encouraged to laugh at rejection-because it has no power over me! God bless you.

  • @matthewwallermusic
    @matthewwallermusic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    By far the best talk I've heard on this important subject. Thank you!

  • @louisefarrington9170
    @louisefarrington9170 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I wish my husband would come clean and allow us to move forward but still here we are stuck in limbo because he will not disclose or get honest with me. I feel jealous of this mans family that he is striving for a better life with God and those around him ( though I know I shouldn’t, I wish this were my husband with the gift of desperation to come clean)
    Thank you for showing me not every man is stuck in addiction and unable to get well. Amen 🙏

  • @kgxgen2062
    @kgxgen2062 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such a succinct and beautiful talk from this brave guy! It reminds me of another TED talk about addiction where the speaker explains the hypothesis that a mediation/alleviation for addiction can also be attributed to the formation of communities that support and accept each other, in opposition to loneliness. To all those who are suffering from addiction out there, don't give up hope! Seek out ways to best help you. You will find a way!

  • @Bucky0012
    @Bucky0012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Man I went a year no pmo no fapping and I slipped into a damn hole man I’m back at it trynna beat this damn thing. I thought it was gone out my life but that’s where people are usually wrong. Once an addict you can always be an addict again in a snap of a finger. I beat this once I will beat it again and again

    • @LaxsonGPoker
      @LaxsonGPoker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is what happen to me bro

    • @michaeldundee8300
      @michaeldundee8300 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tried getting an accountability software and partner it will keep you in check it will force you to.

    • @plumenommershpadoinkle7575
      @plumenommershpadoinkle7575 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it will get easier to beat every time. remember, recovery isnt linear and slipups/relapses are a matter of when not if. what matters is how you prepare for them so that when they come you can get over it quicker than the time before. eventually theyll get further & further apart, and quicker & quicker to beat, and theyll become totally insignificant

  • @rogerleonard2496
    @rogerleonard2496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I so respect this man for his humility and his honesty.

  • @schonrock85
    @schonrock85 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    THAT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL I CRIED. THANKS.. its goodto know other people overcome this addiction. I hope someday all people can deal with their problems and not use other bad scapes...

  • @nyelee5952
    @nyelee5952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Takes a lot of courage to speak out loud about this.. your courageous man!

  • @cromabu5090
    @cromabu5090 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    You don’t realise till you try and quit, I’m going through that now

    • @drhfhs
      @drhfhs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      For 15 years... It's so hard to give up

  • @kimmolaine8069
    @kimmolaine8069 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I appreciate the honesty. Though addictions and the causes for them, and how they show themselves, are always unique to a person. Sharing experiences with addiction is important in any case. I hope admitting weaknesses becomes less of a taboo as we go by.

  • @TheBecomingMen
    @TheBecomingMen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was truly inspirational. Thank you for sharing. There's power is sharing things like this. I was finally able to share my testimony on TH-cam and though it's vulnerable, it's liberating! Good stuff

  • @brendangoosen
    @brendangoosen 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well done, that took some balls. We are not honest enough with our struggles and our feelings. Denial is a cancer we need to face up to as humans. Dead straight honesty. Well done!

  • @shahzebliaquatali7078
    @shahzebliaquatali7078 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow! Thanks for sharing your genuine experience with us. It might help me to overcome my addiction.

  • @aldrincaraig3148
    @aldrincaraig3148 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow. This is shorter than any other ted talks but it hits me like a truck. Thank you Jason. May God bless you.

  • @FangCWAEmu
    @FangCWAEmu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very late to the party, just wanted to comment that this year is the year I end this addiction. This really spoke to me. Thanks for the inspiration. I got this

  • @lukeweyant6771
    @lukeweyant6771 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Came here with different expectations for this talk, didn’t see what I was expecting to see. Great talk.

  • @MREGO871
    @MREGO871 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wow what a talk, I have been a tad intrigued by this certain topic always but never really heard it broken down like this before, thanks again TED! ☮️ and ❤️ from Patrick Woodstock Watts!

  • @testimony-
    @testimony- 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Awesome talk, thank you a may God bless you my brother

  • @RaisedByWolves79
    @RaisedByWolves79 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thought provoking video that many of us can relate to, whether we'd admit it or not. Thank you for this.

  • @thomasmadison3896
    @thomasmadison3896 7 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    “The thing is, I’ve been living a lie.” Gary Fogel.
    “Just one? I’m living like 20,” George Costanza.

    • @ianhill9246
      @ianhill9246 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My whole life is a sham! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @thechad1400
    @thechad1400 7 ปีที่แล้ว +500

    Approval? No, I don't think so. For many people, porn is a coping mechanism for major depression, albeit an unhealthy coping mechanism. Several good friends use porn to drown out traumatic memories, but it only made things worse. There is no one answer for why people use porn, and regardless of whether or not you look at it, I congratulate those who choose to gain control of their lives instead of letting porn control them.

    • @hakeemsd70m
      @hakeemsd70m 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Totally Rad Chad If it was only that easy to not let the evil demon that is porn control your life...congrats to you. I still suffer. 😭😭😭

    • @davidmurphy4672
      @davidmurphy4672 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Have you heard of escape? You can escape your problems watching tv playing video games and fapping.

    • @blkmamba40
      @blkmamba40 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      would it help if I said coping mechanism?

    • @EliasRockinBeatz
      @EliasRockinBeatz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      "To drown out traumatic memories".. now guess what: How did they feel, when those traumatic incidents happened? They felt rejected, on a massively deep level. It all comes back to the one problem: Feeling rejected, thus feeling unimportant / irrevelant. Life then becomes meaningless, without meaning, our soul dies. That's why we fear rejection, althoug we don't know it consciously.

    • @UndercoverSpill
      @UndercoverSpill 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EliasRockinBeatz traumatic doesnt always mean rejection.

  • @jaguarjj
    @jaguarjj 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    you're great and brave fellow, thank you for that talk man, bless you.

  • @pandulani
    @pandulani 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nothing but love for this man for his courage to share his journey!

  • @MrMcLoveski
    @MrMcLoveski 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for sharing! Impacting so many lives! God bless

  • @lawsonhung
    @lawsonhung 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I just want to put this out there, that was an amazing speech. Big love to you, big guy.

  • @XxAceTrainerGreenxX
    @XxAceTrainerGreenxX 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Reminds me of in a nutshell. Video on addiction. The lesson learned here is that we use addictions to numb the pain. It's counterproductive because it only makes things worse.

  • @aceshigh23
    @aceshigh23 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the best TED talks I've ever seen.

  • @ahmadmontaser828
    @ahmadmontaser828 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The best speech in this topic I've ever seen. Thank you Jason.

  • @timcarp1964
    @timcarp1964 7 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Way to be brave bro. MANY of us can totally relate. I have been in recovery for 8 years. I would say you should find a real community of other guys who struggle. Like you have indicated there's a real need underneath, but it's not always the need of approval. It varies by person.

    • @lurkingshadows4800
      @lurkingshadows4800 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      saw someone naked online oh god I need to recover

    • @nathanieltomaquin7377
      @nathanieltomaquin7377 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      can i ask something?

    • @timcarp1964
      @timcarp1964 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Naithz Ananaz Not sure who you are directing the question to, but if it is to me then sure you can.

    • @nathanieltomaquin7377
      @nathanieltomaquin7377 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      ok thank you! i want to ask if i will be not do the jacolism in 1 month, do i can get a sick? because me and my friends talk about it that if we will be not put away our sperm cell we can get a sick is that true? i really want to know because im shy to ask my parents! sorry for my bad english !

    • @timcarp1964
      @timcarp1964 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Jacolism. Haven't heard that before but I think I understand what you are asking. Stopping anything that has become habitual or compulsive won't be easy, but it won't make you sick. Contrary to popular thought your penis won't fall off if it's not used. You will be uncomfortable, very much so at times, but try to focus on the bigger picture of why you are doing this in those moments. Pray and ask God to help you do this. He will walk with you through this.
      Where are you from?

  • @ZENLASOL
    @ZENLASOL 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m seeing this 4 years after it was posted…. This was what I needed to change my life for the better. Thank you for this TED talk! I appreciate your vulnerability 💕

  • @CB-bk9xj
    @CB-bk9xj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thankful for this mans HUMILITY and STRENGTH. Jason, your ability to be honest and vulnerable.. has touched the hearts and changed the lives of many. God Bless You

  • @ralphschranghamer2426
    @ralphschranghamer2426 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT HELP, THANK YOU!!

  • @navellparham7209
    @navellparham7209 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great Speech! I'm sure we all can relate to his story in some form of fashion. I was addicted to masturbation in my adolescent years and they were the worst years of my life when it should've been the opposite way around. Thankfully I've been able to develop self control and now I'm much more confident in my interactions than I was before. Love and light to those who are currently trying to rid themselves of addiction. As long you can see the light at the end of the tunnel you will eventually get there.

  • @nyimbonizipendazo
    @nyimbonizipendazo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The deepest need of human beings is the need to be loved, accepted and appreciated!

  • @bigchump2561
    @bigchump2561 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WOW, so much respect for him, wish every pastor was like him

  • @adamcleare8606
    @adamcleare8606 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for sharing, it must have been tough. Live Strong

  • @moveinsilencegs5136
    @moveinsilencegs5136 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dude this is reality.
    I just quit but Man, it is the truth.
    I’ve been rejected by everyone in life.
    It didn’t complete me. It didn’t stop me. But it hurt me.
    It was acceptance by others and myself that has healed me somewhat.
    And hope itself also.
    There is more in life worth living.
    Because I’ve seen suffering

  • @LaraOsman
    @LaraOsman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Best ted talk ever!

  • @shogunrua1040
    @shogunrua1040 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Jason Mahr for sharing your knowledge and insights with us. I thought what you said what useful to me and many people.

  • @cg8835
    @cg8835 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Maybe the best video I’ve ever seen at all. Thank you immensely

  • @caroljones5941
    @caroljones5941 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you, Jason, for having the courage to share your testimony. I was married to a man who struggled with this subject for 44+ years of our marriage. At 44 1/2 years I walked out of the marriage. My guess is that he had so much guilt and shame that he couldn't own up to his addiction. Sadly, he died of Covid last year. For those of you who have succumbed to this addiction (and any other addictions) PLEASE get help. Have courage to face your weaknesses in order to restore trust between the ones you love. Hopefully you can make things right before the destruction of trust that happened to us. With God ALL THINGS are possible. Be honest with yourself and the ones you love. Be strong and courageous so you can testify like this brave man has done.

  • @tinaandkyle1996
    @tinaandkyle1996 7 ปีที่แล้ว +691

    This is genius brother

  • @mufasa181
    @mufasa181 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Beautiful story ! Peace on all of you guys

  • @lifelonglearners9784
    @lifelonglearners9784 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Genuine and honest. Thanks for sharing

  • @TheAlmightyClipse
    @TheAlmightyClipse 7 ปีที่แล้ว +454

    Wow that last part about using porn to deal with rejection really resonates with me.. I've struggled to deal with porn for the last 10 years, dealt with ED on and off for the past 6. It's been hell, even makes me think about just ending it all sometimes.

    • @pendranomechannel6786
      @pendranomechannel6786 7 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      TheAlmightyClipse Hang in there pal. If possible, find someone you can confide in. It's a huge help.

    • @HakuCell
      @HakuCell 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      what's ED?

    • @icreamsogood
      @icreamsogood 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Haku erectile dysfunction

    • @michaellawrence1978
      @michaellawrence1978 7 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Try reading the Alcoholics Anonymous book (what they call "the big book"). Substitute the word "alcohol" for porn and be prepared to be overwhelmed and have your world change forever. Better yet, attend a few "open meetings" (meetings that are open to the general public attending). It is considered acceptable to simply state "I am an addict" when attending. I had countless failed attempts with NoFap (I even paid for the coaching etc) and I figured I was just a failure. Turns out I had a MUCH bigger overall problem that my AA brothers are helping me heal from. Today I am 37 days clean, sober, and porn free and I honestly don't see any reason why I would ever go back to misery again... Instead of just avoiding using, I'm actually healing the problem.

    • @HakuCell
      @HakuCell 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Mchael L. Dunn
      that sounds very interesting! thanks for sharing.. I wonder, what do u do there? how do they help u heal?

  • @srajansrivastava8021
    @srajansrivastava8021 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    thanks a ton!

  • @freivonx
    @freivonx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That is true strength!! He shows himself very vulnerable and not as that unreachable perfect idol.
    But many of us only talk here in the comment section, anonymously on the internet, but not in real life. This already is part of the problem I guess.
    Any germans here btw?

  • @alastairthomson3572
    @alastairthomson3572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What an amazing analysis of such an important issue of our time

  • @defryquan
    @defryquan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I look up to you because you’re able to acknowledge this fault that millions of men struggle through . A real winner doesn’t only admit defeat but analyzes why and grows because of it.

  • @crucifixmegabuster95
    @crucifixmegabuster95 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    man this hit like a ton of bricks. I have had this addiction for such a long time. the addiction for needing approval.

  • @christophersynnott7967
    @christophersynnott7967 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for your honesty

  • @ishalronv.t9806
    @ishalronv.t9806 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great and valuable observation over addiction that real problem might be deep rooted in the form of thirst of approval.

  • @JSAwesome
    @JSAwesome 7 ปีที่แล้ว +358

    Good speech, but I disagree a bit. I think the addiction to porn is the problem and the social problems are the symptoms.

    • @lordofgingers
      @lordofgingers 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      you mean like some people are so fed up with the dating scene that they settle? yea it happens. if theyre lucky they eventually get back on the scene and try again. if not, well...there are worse fates i suppose.

    • @JSAwesome
      @JSAwesome 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ultimatepedrodude330 No that isn't what I said

    • @lordofgingers
      @lordofgingers 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      what did you mean then?

    • @JSAwesome
      @JSAwesome 7 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      the more you get addicted to porn and masturbating to porn, the more insecure you feel about yourself and you have more trouble dealing with actual people. my argument was that the video is wrong, porn use is not the symptom as he says it is. i contend that porn use is the underlying problem.

    • @lordofgingers
      @lordofgingers 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i suppose thats a fair point.

  • @bobmac9070
    @bobmac9070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Thank you this was really good to hear.
    I pray that all Christian men who fight this fight find freedom through God and remain in obedience to God
    🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @jeffs2518
    @jeffs2518 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This man is a hero. What courage to speak about it.

  • @LokiBeckonswow
    @LokiBeckonswow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    epic talk man, good part about dealing with rejection