The secret to self control | Jonathan Bricker | TEDxRainier
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2014
- Jonathan Bricker's work has uncovered a scientifically sound approach to behavior change that is twice as effective as most currently practiced methods. His new methods are driving new norms and new apps for how people quit smoking and decrease obesity, saving many people from an early death.
Jonathan Bricker is an internationally recognized scientific leader in a bold approach called acceptance and commitment therapy. A Stanford researcher called his use of the approach “a breakthrough in behavioral research [that] has major public health implications for the major causes of preventable death.” Bricker and his team, having received $10 million in total federal research grants to study this topic, are rigorously testing this intervention on multiple platforms, including smartphone apps, websites, and telephone coaching. His SmartQuit app for quitting smoking was recently launched and is now in distribution worldwide.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”
wow
So true. Yet so many constantly do what they disagree with all the time.
You just save me in procastinating. I feel motivated
@@aronvillaluna548 Yeah me too
a word whew
Summary: self control is enhanced through awareness, letting go and less drama. Be water, my friend.
Eastern philosophy is amazing
Nice Bruce lee quote👌🏼
So when you crave sugar you do what?
love drink lots of water :) if you are going to need the energy you crave, drink lots of tea with honey
love you notice the craving and talk with them gently. Say to cravings I know you, I don’t want to listen to you. I love you
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -most underrated quote
Very well said
Thanks
It was said by Victor E. Frankl in his book, "Man's Search For Meaning"
@@TB-dv8bx That is a book everyone should read, along with M. Scott Peck M.D. "The Road Less Traveled" and Wayne Dyer PhD's "Your Erroneous Zones."
It’s a certain truth hiding in plain sight. Peace, contentment, happiness ... and the survival of humankind is a choice. Being present in each moment between stimulus and action is the most beneficial place to steady our mindfulness ... to place it anywhere else is of lesser value.
Discipline is understanding that, you and your thoughts are different entities. You are not bound to react on these thoughts.
Thanks for this dude
Whoa this really did something for me
👏
Dude. That hit different 🤯
Thanks bro.
Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
-Abraham Lincoln
@Lyrical Terrorist - I think he tweeted it.
xD I am not so sure Abraham Lincoln said that.
Ghandi**
Well, whoever did say it. Learn something from it. Does the source really matter that much?
derin den even when you know that it doesn’t magically let you make the right choice.
When I quit smoking I said to myself that I will always be a smoker and that will never change. I am only going to try not smoke for a while and when I get a craving it was easy because I made peace that I can smoke if I want to but I chose not to. It has been 7 years and 7 months and I still have cravings but they don't bother me anymore.
Well done, I'll try that
Procrastination used in a positive way. Kudos mate 👍
Awesome, this comment worth as much as the video
Did u smoke again
Congrats👏🏾👏🏾
I did practice this technique and its amazing how well it works: everytime you feel anxious or sad or depressed or some irrational thoughts enter your head, open your arms and welcome it into your heart. Say it out loud: “dear craving, I can’t control you, come in, you are welcome to stay as long as you want or you can go whenever you want. You will always be a part of me and I’m ok with that.” This might sounds like some esoteric whoowhoo advice, but it’s not. It’s je actually how the the human psyche works: by not resisting these feelings or thoughts and just observing them as if you were looking from a distance, you remove all powere these feelings have over you. It takes some training but it’s worth it.
Esoteric whoowhoo is my favourite adjective for the day
Thank you ❤️
Thanks!
@@SM-xd2xv Please show me the meaning of "whoowhoo". I still don't understand it.
Thank you for your share. It is very good for me to do your way.
"The secret to self-control is give up control." Letting go. To stop fighting yourself. To allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling and take it in as part of the human condition. That really, really spoke to me.
hmm.... it didn't speak to me at all - this is snake oil pycho babble
letting go...taoism
willing to not act on your instinct despite how you feel the urge to do something. letting go of the tension that you have to be compulsive. willing to let go of that compulsive behaviour because you accept that you can live peacefully by not comparing the choices. to think and accept about the choice that you can survive without acting( by willing) to let go of the anxiety to do things compulsively. acknowledge your feelings. it is part of acceptance. you dont deny it is not compulsive yet you don't think too shallow. you go through it and accept the hard feelings the urge the itch to do anything that is a bad habit. this is not struggling to make a choice. this is learning. then you see there is a choice and you don't have to be compulsive anywore and the consequences aren't that bad to miss those habit but altogether you see that there is no opportunity cost but just nothing to stress about choices because you have eliminated that and there is no anticipation or reward thereafter to smoke a cigarette or overeating...there are no choices.
stop being perfect. dont give in. dont let the shame anxiety compulsive thoughts destroy you. its not that only if you become strict, prude or a purist only if you have positive thoughts you can go through the day. it shouldn't be based on a condition. dont depend on the sun to brighten your day. be without any condition to be able to do things. start somewhere. dont avoid the feelings and go for comfort. be willing to face the monster. dont hide. dont play the game. there are no rules.
Nah wrong
Basically 3 points:
1) Be aware of the cravings whenever they appear, detect them and think "I'm feeling I'm having a craving for X."
2) Don't fight it. Let the craving rest in your brain and be conscious of it
3) Instead of shaming yourself for giving in to a craving, tell to yourself what you'd say to a friend of yours who's had a slip up.
Neithan Thank you!!
Neithan bravo 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Brilliant summary
3) If craving overpowers you, "TALK to YOURSELF", in the same manner you would talk to a friend if he/she is struggling.
Be kind and caring.
Thank you for saving my time
Fighting these cravings costs more energy than just being aware of them but not acting upon them
Am here because of a failure to control myself not to act upon my cravings. My craving is even worse (not smoking craving)
Anna where are you from? From which language is Helena?
Just like that
Awareness of the craving makes absolutely no difference to the craving.
This entire concept and video is absolutely useless, maybe that's the actual awareness the author needs to work on
@@erastoshedrack7118 same i know that feeling 😞
"We are facing a epidemic, it's not ebola"
"Corona, it's corona"
"Epidemic of unhealthy living"
"Ohh yes, that too."
LMAO totally my reaction.
I really thought it’s corona and eh how come they are having Ted talks 🤔 and then he said healthy living...
Ofcourse then I went and checked the time it was uploaded and this is 5 years ago! Lmao
@@maneesha3331 Lack of self control is really bringing us together.
Woody! Ah yes!
There's a new ebola wave going on in africa
“If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labor passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures”
― Musonius Rufus
Damn
Profound, eternal truth.
When ur doin hard work, it does not pass quickly
💯💯💯
lmaooo@@dracodaym715
He's talking about mindfulness: paying attention to your thoughts and accepting what comes up, but not necessarily acting on it. This is great :)
that is the essence of meditation.
Better packaging.
It is definitely mindfulness, they use the same strategy for chronic pain sufferers as well. Acknowledgment of the pain and letting it be has greater success than trying to shut out the pain. John kavat zinn.
@@toskemusic My thoughts exactly. Good strategies brought up here as well that are separate🙏
Definitely -- it almost seems like he worded his talk to avoid using that term and scaring off those who don't take it seriously.
Jonathan ...your video changed my life. It's been more than a month since I took my last puff after 25 years of smoking a pack a day.....and this video and the concept of acceptance in it made this happen. The cravings are still there, the demons of the mind do appear....I notice them but do not engage with them and make them bigger. They go away on their own if they are not pampered....and that's magical. It really does work. I can never thank you enough Jonathan.
great to hear that. So what are you saying is when that craving comes, you are aware, and wait for some time until they go?
Terrific mate!!!
Ridiculous.
did you quit entirelv
Legend says he is smoking right now....;)
"Discipline is remembering what you want"
This is a prayer for any of you who are struggling
Dear God, I want to bring my friend to you right now. I know that they are not feeling well and worry is taking a lot of their emotional energy. I pray that You will give them special peace in the midst of their crisis; draw close to hem. Give them confidence that healing will come. I pray that that You will give them special insight and wisdom during this upcoming appointment. Show them how to treat and relieve the pain and bring healing.
Amen sis
Amen
Thank you 🙏
Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏
basis of meditation: observe all thoughts
Yeah! He even did namaste at the end.
Thoughts and emotions.
Evenness of mind is Yog
Lord Krishna
notice it, and let it go. repeat.
@@lastday7284 kkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
the basis of meditation would be inside of unknown things and avoid the expectatives
I love when they say they "discovered" or they "created" a method. Buddhist monks have been using this technique for thousands of years where you basically become aware that there's a thought going on without attaching yourself to it. Like yogis say all the time: I'm not my body. So basically you're separating yourself from the thought, not taking action, just noticing the thought process.
Completely agree!! I wish he would give a little credit to buddhism.... But, would that scare people off? By bringing "religion" or "spiritually" into it?...
@@heathert2310 that is exactly why they changed the therapeutic name to "Willingness", but this is straight up Zen Buddhism. It's awesome to see the teachings starting to influence our Western sciences though!
Actually he just gave a buddhism's protocol in the end, the Namaskar. I belive he has the influence from the Buddhist
Yogi or buddhist monk?
Before the Buddhism...meditation and yoga are part of Sanatan dharm (Hinduism)...meditation and yoga originated in Hinduism and then transferred to Buddhism and Jainism...
Lord Buddha was born as a hindu prince...whose earlier name was Sidhartha...now known as buddha..
I’m not gonna lie, if you watched the whole video without skipping even 10s of it, you mastered self control
Aye aye tuoppo
Also if you watched the whole thing without checking the comments section midway. I failed :
Fkn funny 😅
I put it on 1,25x speed 😭
"I'm not talking about Ebola" I thought he would say Covid but then I read the description and this video was uploaded 8 years ago.
I feel like this is huge.
If you think about it, you often don't have control over your environment or exposures, but you do have control and the ability to choose how you act in those environments or resond to those exposures.
So it makes sense to learn how to not act on the craving.
Previously I would avoid going into certain stores or driving a particular route to avoid the temptations and cravings for foods or to buy new things. But the reality is I cannot always do this and avoiding the stimulus is not practical. It also teaches a behavior of avoidance of negative feelings.
Rather than avoid the stimulus or feeling, learn how to manage it.
So yes, recognize you're having the feeling. Recognize it for what it is; I'm having cravings but my emotions don't control me, I do. Do I really want that cookie? Think of the full scope of your actions. I feel like I want that cookie but I really don't because I know that I want to eat healthy. Reaffirm yourself, I am in control not my emotions. I have a strong craving, but this will pass. I am making a positive choice.
Once you have overcome that temptation, celebrate by singing "I've got the power!" :)
Take pride in your ability to face cravings and decide nope, that's not me talking, it's my cravings.
If all else fails, repeat to yourself: what's my next positive step? ... imagine it, and follow through.
Random Chicky: Sounds like you have it all figured out...come back in five years and look at how stupid you sound, it never fails:-)
well said.
Deco
RandomChicky147 needed to read this.
Maybe there's something in what she says? You sad old cynics . . . .
Out of all the Ted talks this one made a change for me, it wasn't just educational, it was too relatable.
+Fang Chen yeah I really enjoyed this one. my two favorite ted talks speeches would be this one and the one where the women talks about "powermoves" and the importance of body language and posture and stuff like that.
+Rules For Rebels: That woman you're referring to is Amy Cuddy. She has written a book too on the subject.
I quit smoking in last day of 2019,,
Now people call me non smoker,
And what I have learned, we can do anything....
Congrats👍
This is exactly the same technique I used to accept and tame my panic attacks. Really effective.
---watch your craving all the time.
---accept them, accept you feelings.
---let them come, let them go. Make peace with them.
---be kind and caring to yourself.
In 3 days I'll be one year nicotine free (after 7 year addiction) and i can relate and endorse this, though i did not know that such a science existed. Every time I'm with my smoker friends i take a cigarette and put it in my mouth without lighting it, partly inspired by that fault in our stars guy. I am kinda at peace with it now, Its no more threatening to me. One thing I've learned is that our brain is an amazing organ. Your current condition is your brain's comfort zone and any change is resisted by brain, but after the initial impasse, its starts adjusting itself to new realities. Quit today! You'll be fine and thankful to yourself.
Well done.
Very good bro
Hey guys I don't speak much English but I understand most the talk, everyday I listen TEDx talks 40 minutes do you think this Useful to me 🙂💜
Yes i think it is very useful
BirdGang Nework Worldwide Scout
Thanks bro 💜
Yes! I learned English from watching plain old, talk shows.
TEDx talks are better because they're concentrated on one single topic.
The very best person to ask, is yourself. ❤Are these Ted talks helping you?
I'm impressed that you e learned English.
Same here i also want to improve my English by listing TEDx
From what I've been learning recently, this is basically one huge chunk of what people in East and South Asia have been using for generations. Awareness, acceptance, compassion.
Great video. In a day and age where everyone wants instant gratification and nobody wants any discomfort I think we as a society have lost a sense of hte imporantance of self control and patience. This is a great topic.
Agreed!
Yes.
When and where is this "day and age where everyone wants instant gratification and nobody wants any discomfort." Rules?
I haven't noticed it. I think it's in your own mind, whiner.
You don't have anything to complain about, but fortunately you were born with a fantastic imagination, so you make stuff up. A "day and age where everyone wants instant gratification and nobody wants any discomfort"? Well done! You win today's imagination prize.
You are the only one not living in reality if you can't see where he's coming from with that comment.
Satanic Soulhunter
Soulhunter,
I can see it pretty clearly, I'm pretty sure: his trope is a simple little bit of self-aggrandisement, a common enough thing in TH-cam videos, don't you think?
Rather than saying "Here's what I know about self-control" or maybe "Here are a few things I can teach about self-control" instead he does this big set-up routine.
"Oh, woe is us. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. Nobody has any self control. Self-gratification is the only thing happening here.
"Fortunately I'm here to solve this horrible problem..."
Your normal average preacher at work. Just send money.
I didn;t have enough self control to finish this video.
+Zeeke He lost me at the ebola-joke that no-one laughed at.
+poofendorf I know what you mean, but it gets better, stick with it.
+nin0nn I read your comment before even getting to him making that joke. Ou... this hurts.
+Zeeke Your loss. I used similar techniques to quit smoking rather easily.
+Zeeke LOL.I understand how you felt. I almost quit watching,but manage not to. Wanted to see where he was going.
*My takeaways:*
1. Life in autopilot 8:40
2. An excises called “ l am having the thoughts” 10:30
3. Drop the rope 13:19
also from TEDx entitled how to break the bad habit:
1. notice the urge of the bad habit
2. be curious on what it will cause you
3. feel the joy of letting the bad habit go
4. repeat
Thanks
Last line is the silver lining -"Try to bring spirit of caring and kindnes to yourself whatever be the choices-for that is the mountain that we are all climbing" ... Thank you!
LOL I've cut my happy mountain in half so I can jump off it.
Raji K: Mountain? Really? Do you want the red pill or the blue one? You sound more like a blue pill pud.
Summary:
(mam, dad)
Willingness = allow your cravings to come and go.
(a friend, a book) (wife, university) (companies, performance) (I, born)
Opposite: avoid cravings and distract yourself
(singing) (jokes) (opposite doesn't work)
(research, technology, apps)
Data: willingness has 2x good results as avoidance
(make data personal - Jane)
Awareness reveals hidden craving
Exercise: "I am having the thought"
Exercise 2: I'm noticing I'm having the thought
These exercises create space
in that space you have freedom of choice
and in that space you become aware of hidden reasons for the craving
And the craving is our way to deal with controlling the hidden reasons
(slowing down to increase suspense)
Secret to self control = give up control
(craving monster analogy)
Be kind to yourself.
@@ruthless-sonu5887 No, you cannot.
Thanks!
I need you to come organize my house.
@@jcepri lol
Interesting way to summarize a lecture! thanks
I thank you Jonathan Bricker for motivating my daughter when thing went really had for her.
It was really so bad that she attempted committing murder until you invited Mrs Lyra Holt Dean for your TED show program.
Am really so grateful for her finical assistance in my daughters life thank you so much once again.
@Lewis Hamilton i figured out Mrs Lyra Holt From a TED show hosted by Jonathan Bricker .
He invited this particular woman and she introduced this fabulous type strategy for making money.
It looked like a scam until we took the risk and tired it out and it worked
@Lewis Hamilton Honestly is not something we can talk about on the comment section i can give you her direct so you can contact her.
@Lewis HamiltonKindly contact@lyraholtdean. com that her direct mail feel free talking her and talk me later SMILES.
Self Control is the art of Letting Go, Letting Go of the thoughts and feelings you possess…
If this can help: I stopped smoking 8 months ago because I started singing lessons. I love singing and right after the first lesson I tossed away my pack of cigarettes because I felt like I didn't want to compromise my lungs more.
Thank you Mr. Bricker for sharing your caring work, very warm delivery.
Summary :- If you feel like having a craving , Accept it and dont think about it anymore. If you are thinking about it then it means you are giving craving the energy it needs. Just be water and ignore it. 😉😉😉😉😉
I immediately checked the date this video was posted when he mentioned the word "epidemic"...
this is in line with dialectical behavioral therapy. i learned DBT while i was being treated for PTSD. it helped me drastically improve my life and treat my alcoholism. both this and DBT are westernized versions of the concept of mindfulness in zen buddhism. you can get DBT workbooks on amazon or you might be able to find a class in your city.
I was diagnosed with borderline a year ago, so I've heard of DBT, but unfortunately they don't offer it in my country. Could you recommend me certain books or other sources which helped you? :)
+Mel Mariposa www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
There are also some great apps on CBT and DBT.
+Jillian Musielak Thanks for mentioning DBT. I haven't heard about it before.
+Wisnu O. P. S. of course! i believe if it was taught in schools, it would end a lot of whats plaguing the world. practicing mindfulness means understanding how your actions affect those around you and how the impact the greater whole. some schools teach a variation on it for stress reduction which has been super helpful for hyperactivity in young children.
What the presenter advised in detail to the woman in the example.
1)Be aware of your craving.
2)Try to find out where you feel that craving in your body.
3)Try to journal that and the intensity over time.
4)Check whether you act on the craving.
I’m noticing that I’m having the thought. I’m stressed out and I am craving for something.
Give up control. Don’t fight with the craving monster. Drop the rope. Be willing to have that craving.
Try to talk to yourself with care and kindnesses as you would do to your friend.
The point of this ted is that we shouldn’t be obsessed with the state of mind where we don’t crave for things. He says, it’s all right to crave for unhealthy things and we don’t have to blame ourselves for wanting bad things. I can definitely see his point because when we blame ourselves for any kind of things that we’ve done, we lose confidence and respect for ourselves. That makes it difficult to control ourselves afterwards.
I can't belive this man actually quoted Turn it off, a musical number from one of the most chaotic musicals in existence *and it worked in his speech*
What was the quote
@@antiherojourney6344 5:38
This talk has definitely changed my life. It helped me losing weight which I was never ever be able to do before. Thanks a lot for this, Jonathan Brickler!
How did that change happen in your life though? Currently in that same period in my life so I wanna get to learn more on the matter 👀
Nice!!! Please share!
Please share
have a note in ur pocket quoting" i am smoking right now"
and whenever the thought comes or u smoke, take that note and read it
u will see u cant smoke after reading it
that's it! knowing that it is just a thought and leave it. this is the starting point of stop blaming yourselves.
You said it girl!
Bro determining to change your life is an amazing feeling. Discipline isn't a sacrifice, it is an enrichment.
To fight the monster of cravings I’m gonna try this method: whenever it happens, take 5 minutes of “ no action “ and attempting to shift the focus by doing something else, preferably enjoyable, fun… I hope this works for me and anyone willing to try this
This man is phenomenal! Makes you laugh while you learn something new. He's excellent at explaining things and his charm cheers you up
Adna Babala those are the best videos!:)
I have no self control I'm watching this while I know I should be studying instead.
Connor Gaughan lol
priorities
I'm watching this video while eating
Me too 😂😂
Yes but as the thought of distraction came in to your head were you aware of it
This is the problem I couldn’t control myself, I had managed to loose a lot of weight but then started eating unhealthy again and this time I couldn’t stop it. I tried doing what I did last time and I craved so bad and I got so stressed over it. This really helped, THANK YOU
Awareness--- Notice the cravings including hidden ones
Willingness---Allow your cravings to come and go
Acceptance---Give up control
Compassion---Be kind to yourself
Finally someone talking the global statistics rather than just about the USA!!!
I love this man and his message. You can run your entire life, but it's ultimately futile. Relinquishment and acceptance is the key to true freedom. Embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's the only way. "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size" Carl Jung
Note to self:
Self-control is to give up control and let the feeling be where it is
"The Secret of Self Control is to give up control"
We have 2 brains, Thinking brain and Feeling brain. We choose to fight that cravings because we thought that the Thinking brain have the steer wheel, but it wasn't the thinking brain that has control over our consciousness, it's The Feeling Brain. so Self Control is illusion, we always make things hard by fighting our Feeling brain for cravings, so the solution that offered by this gentleman is, why dont we try to give feeling brain some space for his idea??? try to be conscious of his demand, respect it, love him like he's part of you whole body, and he will start to become agreeable to your choice of life :)
So, stop fighting yourself.
Wow, you open my mind, thank you so much bro 😊
This guy gets it. Amazing speaker. He breaks down mindfulness and overcoming the weight of the human struggle. The key points that I'd like to remember are to *honor* the negative as part of the human experience and to offer yourself thoughts of caring and kindness as if you were offering them to a friend with the same struggle.
Negative feelings are temporary and okay, when we watch the feelings arise and identify them as feelings or desires rather than impulses that we immediately act out, we create some space and enable ourselves to let the feelings pass. One by one we let negative feelings and impulses pass until we "know" they will pass and we create the clarity and space to make choices based in caring and kindness.
Great video. Wonderful speaker.
Wow, a singing scientist! Rare to see that along with a talent for capturing clinical concepts so succinctly. I am going to share with my clients and in my trainings.
Super cool scientist - not just impressed by his brilliance and light-hearted personality but he sang a tune from "The Book of Mormon" by the creators of South Park!
11:55 onwards is when it all begins to make sense! having that time & space in-between your craving and thought process is what allows us to be in control and make a better decision. I love this technique and will be applying it to my life. Thank you!
Stop reading the comments, and focus on the video 🚨
It was such a privelage to be in the audience when my good friend Jonathan gave his TED talk. What a terrific speaker, and such an important topic, about which his passion comes through loud and clear. I was excited to share this video with the private Facebook page I host for members of my support group for people with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. It turns out, urges to pick skin or pull hair compulsively can be handled the same way Jonathan describes handling cravings to smoke or eat unhealthy food. Thank you, Jonathan, for making this concept so easy for people to "digest."
if you really have this craving go for it... but take it slowly and really taste it, eating chocolate, smoking cigar, a glass of whiskey,etc, really feel the satisfaction it gives you.. gradually you'd be thinking 'why I'm having this crap'.. slowly without even knowing it you're free from that demon..
Sioho Sy wise words
Sioho Sy tgggg
“let me tell you about my mum” is probably the best opening I’ve ever seen😩❤️
He is using the vipassana meditation technique which is awareness/mindfulness. Allowing yourself to be aware without reacting to it. The more you practice acceptance of what is and learning to not react to it, the more you will learn to have control of your mind and behavior.
Vipassana teaches you that everything is impermanent, it will pass.
This TEDx talk by Dr. Johnathan Bricker does a great job at explaining why "fighting" our unhealthy urges or craving is so challenging. Better yet, he provides hope by teaching us to be kinder to ourselves and more willing to live with our urges. Excellent talk.
This has the potential to be so profound as loving what ever arises is the key to being liberated. Emotional freedom is easy when you honor and respect all of them. Our bad feelings / addictions just want to be acknowledged, respected and thanked.
Oh God..........and I have a gallon of Hagen Daz in my freezer. God help me.
You said it girl. Respect the feelings. Or they bite ya!
Amazing, I’ve been doing that way before I ever listened to this podcast and it’s been helping me to keep my weigh off for three years now - I embrace my cravings, but rarely or never, ever act upon them -
So in the last 6 months I felt proud of myself Twice! First when I quit smoking and now after watching this and realising I have used this very technique just because of my introspection. I came to a conclusion that the more you fight something inside you the more it stays there and even gets stronger. even the harshest emotions must be welcomed never neglected or suppressed. The first time I experienced this secret to be working was when I had been depressed for years over a girl. After years of self-sabotage/blame I was only enlightened the moment I accepted and welcomed all these feelings, memories, emotions to roam free in my mind and body and when I thought that I would at least need another 7-8 years of healing I felt like a newly born human in matter of weeks.
Remember this folks! - God, The Universe or your own mind and body will never present you with a challenge/hardship which you cannot handle. Even though it may not seem that way, in the darkest moments Just remember that you can handle it by accepting and processing
Living in a body that wants to do everything to be secure and to survive, while we want an amazing, fulfilling life, self-control might be the most important skill ever. Great talk!
I will sum this up with one word: Awareness
Yep. But its exhausting
This man is a phenomenal speaker! Great pacing and usage of pauses and kept the speech entertaining all the way through. Bravo!
10:41 this is the highlight. "I'm noticing that I have a thought that..."
A brilliant TED talk on willingness. Applicable to ANY changes you want to make in your life.
To recognize our cravings so we could create a space between ourselves and the cravings-- this way we do not have to act on our cravings automatically. Sounds great! I'll try it out.
These are the two things I’m desperately trying to change in my life and I really appreciate finding this video
One of the best Ted talks I've seen. Clear, concise, & delivers an important but largely overlooked message in a fun way. Replace Self Control with Self Love & watch as the magic of living your life to the fullest begins to unfold ❤️
This talk was just what I needed to start my day! I'm going to try "I'm noticing the thought"
What about noticing that you look like Halle Berry.
Lipsticknpistol
..
Lipsticknpistol you can experience your thoughts and kill them.
Here's a wonderful meditation technique for it.
Get this free ten day course at your place.
www.dhamma.org
Chandra Shekhar Reddy Maram is this the 10 day vippassana meditation retreat here?? I can't click link but I have done a 10 day retreat best but hardest thing I did it's not free it's donation but I suppose it's free if u really can't afford it if this isn't that check it out dip dahma I think but just Google g.n. goenka
Willingness helped me quit smoking. I tried the quitline, Allen Carr (sorry, it was not easy), vaping, meds, Chantix, the patch, distracting, hypnosis, you name it. Say whatever you want about being willing. Say it's old, it's new, it's nonsense, you could do it better, blah blah. I don't give a shit.
The fact is I tried the program, it was totally different than all the garbage I tried before, and I was able to stay quit.
Thanks to the people who created it.
how couldn't you quit with allen carr, though? that book about smoking literally changed my life.
and what's this program that you've mentioned?
I sincerely want to thank you for who has been commented before. You guys accomplished an amazing job. This is the best comment section that I've ever seen.
Controlling myself by distracting myself with other things is the one that works for me.
Yeah. It works.
The singing is awesome. That little jingle about treating pesky feelings like a ceiling light, and turn them off. Great advice. The part about acceptance and kindness too. Learned something here.
I think the secret to self control is finding out what you're comfortable and happy with, I don't think we lack control of ourselves, we just don't know exactly what we want, it's not as simple as go and become a doctor, chef, salesman... etc, there's tonnes of things we want and don't want about anything, so we have to sort through the largest to smallest, the better off we are in that scope, the more self 'control' we have.
This is great to ppl with not only food addictions, cigarette addictions or any type of addictions, this talk was not only entertainment but educational, I need to start paying attention to my cravings, acknowledge them and be caring with myself in order to not giving in, I need to stop feeding them. Thank you 🙏🏼
Dealing with adicts with compassion and not indifference is really the message here. Thank you for your insight!
Hearing what he had to say, one thing came to my mind crystal clear... this is essentially exactly what we are taught regarding meditation, and 'thoughts' we may have...thoughts we may be dwelling on...and which we are trying to ignore and 'push away' so as to not 'intrude' on our quiet and meditation. In meditation, they tell us that instead of trying to push away any thoughts that may be running through our minds, we should instead simply 'acknowledge' the thought ...... 'gee, I'm thinking about work right now.... I'm thinking about my neighbor' etc.
The world is blessed to have people like you !! Thank you for caring for other humans with no strings attached.
I’m 21 and after I broke up, I’ve smoked as a habit so far. At the beginning, I literally saw smoking like a tool to express my pain but after that smoking made me calm down at the situation that I had to be crazy and I decided smoking when I felt stressed or even happy as celebration for myself. But one day, I just wanted a smoke badly and realized that what made me smoke was my thoughts not any related to my craving about cigarette. I absolutely felt his words.
Read a book called, The rational male by Rollo Tomassi
How I know I'm impatient: not even 5 minutes into this, and I already want him to get to the point.
Wow he is a very good speaker!
And even not a bad singer!
heavenfxeyesforsale I don't like it at all can't finish watching..
@@rebeccahale322 Well, i like it a lot, and i just have finished watching it.
@@rebeccahale322 Maybe practice self control
This was brilliant Jonathan! I'm sharing this with all my clients with addiction/impulse control problems. Loved the way you illustrated the struggle with cravings.
P.S. You're a very good singer too!
When you are swayed to do something, think of the possible consequences it might cause you. It is about you so before you made the decision always try to bring a spirit of caring and kindness to yourself. Thank you so much for this talk I’ve learn a lot.
This was so great. I used the letting go technique years ago on another issue I was dealing with. Watching this video today made me realize how similar this was and that I could use this on my battle with food. By accepting and being willing to accept that I may always crave that Pepsi or that candy I can maybe be able to overcome it by simply letting the battle just go.
I'm drinking Pepsi while reading that wow
@@malekaren7241 I would love a pepsi right now.
@@ranjitshinde3763 After more than a week without, physically you have kicked the habit. The harder part is afterwardsb which is emotionally dependent on it. Most of the foods we feel we need is an emotional reaction to it. I tend to eat chocolate and pepsi more often when feeling stressed. It's like my body craves it as a way to comfort itself. But in truth junk food is the worse thing to give in too.
When I get cravings my mind sings
"Let it goooo, let it gooo, can't hold it back any more!!
i learned this in Vipassana meditation retreat. Just observe and not to react to cravings
when I quite smoking, I told myself I liked the cravings and if I smoked the cravings would go away.
This is one of the best behavioural change video that I've watched. Because Its been a few days that i have applied these techniques to my daily life which the speaker has said. And it is really helping me a lot. "I have this thought" what a powerful way to end that war between you and your thoughts. Just an amazing video wish i knew this earlier, but anyhow nothing is too late in life when we apply it & do it for our self growth. People who have watched this and the one's who will be watching anytime later. Wishing you success to get relived from your craving and habits you wanted and want to quit.
An excellent video! Really loved the way he demonstrated the tussle we have with ourselves.
you are not loud, yet you are heard! thank you for sharing your organized thoughts on this subject! it was a layered presentation and you seemed so relaxed, I have to love this!
1 important thing to keep in mind I think is:
Know that it takes time. It doesn't happen suddenly.
Unrealistic expectations will only lead to the feeling of inadequacy in self, so you'll fall into the old habit that provides comfort.
It occurred to me while listening to this TED talk that self control is just another form of self defense and the skills he talks about may even be more important...