Get help to help yourself getting yourself free. You are here so you're trying, even if it's not everyday, as long as you're trying one day you will succeed. I'm not even worried.
For those of us that can’t leave, just keep doing our inner work and make an effort to be conscious of our own patterns and those around us. Thats the best we can do with what we have.
I beat myself up for not trying hard enough then I feel so awful I convince myself to stop blaming myself. In my heart of hearts, I know I need to leave to benefit all of us, but currently, financially, I haven't figured out a way. I'm praying, I'm doing affirmations, and breathing exercises. I fight everyday to maintain my sanity and continue my spiritual work.
Indian household parenting perfectly explained! I internalized and blamed myself for the longest time, for all the unmet emotional needs. Thankfully moving out soon with a new job
Many people live with their parents because rent is so high, it's so hard to make a home for yourself, it's hard to find a job, make money ... That's the real problem for so many people. No one would live with their parents if getting a job was enough to become independent. Money is the main reason why people don't move away.
@@sanitary103 That's not the point and you can not look at it like that. You have to give from 50% up to 75% of your salary to pay rent. What's left is not enough for you to live in most cases. If you work for minimal wedge it's impossible.
3 ปีที่แล้ว +16
In Brazil, minimum wage doesn't pay even 75% of the rent.
When I ran away from home at 16, I changed completely Everything changed completely the funny thing is that my parents and I started changing the moment we "gave up" or rather chose distance So when I ran away (I got a new home and help from outside) I suddenly had no aggressions anymore like I just wouldn't get aggressive anymore I was relaxed.. Stopped self harming.. Felt relived and finally authentic My parents also got more chilled and less conservative and more open And now years later I have a really good bond to them 🌸
Sailor Moon!💕 Your story is very interesting. And I believe that we must take responsibility for our actions, but I do think others provoke people into acting badly.
Really ? I just started to move out from my parents a year ago.. i did realize that the aggression disappear and i kind of found my inner peace back, but i am still somehow triggered whenever i receive a message from my mother (like asking me to send her things or to buy her things). It kind of reminds me of all the pain and heartache that i went through when i was still living with her.. I am happy that you could come into good terms with your parents ❤ because my good terms with my mom only happens when i block her number from my phone 😂 or else i will see a whatsapp text that is 25cm long, that always end up with her asking for me to get/buy her something. Somehow she thinks it's ok to just use her daughters money to buy things that she herself wouldn't want to spend her money on 😅👏👏👏 the mind of fantastic parents
@Melody Anne mine won't stop pressuring or triggering me even if I get off their backs (been there, done that)..! 😢 another level of narcissists! It makes me feel like it's all vain..
Yes I'm really aggressive sometimes when my mom is home but tend to be calm and relaxed when shes at work. How did you find the money to just run away? I'm assuming you were still in schoon with no graduation so it would be hard to find a job that can get you enough money for your own apartment
I moved out of my parents’ house 2 times and came back until I finally left for good when I was 30 years old. The first time I left with roommates and the second time with a partner (I’m a man) but the last time I left I did so alone. I must point out that I was always afraid of not being able to pay my rent or survive by myself alone so I kept postponing moving out. However, this was a big mistake because like Teal says, every time I moved back I always fell back into old patterns and habits, back into that role I had with the family not matter what I did to try to change it. Some days while living with my parents I felt like my room was a dead end, one that I couldn’t get out of and couldn’t let me evolve. I always felt like I couldn’t fully be myself either because I was always judged if I didn’t act exactly how my parents wanted me to act. It was bad, I enjoyed every little moment I had alone at my parent’s house and when I heard the door open signaling their return I could literally feel the peace leave the house and I was at the mercy of their mood at the moment, sometimes ok, sometimes pretty bad and stressful. Very conflictive and toxic at worst times. I definitely didn’t feel in control of anything. I remember one time I asked a friend to read the tarot for me just for fun. He told me to ask the cards a question. My question was “how can I achieve happiness?” To my surprise and shock the answer was “move out”. Maybe that was a coincidence since I don’t really believed in tarot readings and those things but that always stuck with me. Going back to feeling insecure and not sure if I was good enough to survive on my own, all I can say is don’t be afraid. As long as your have a job you will survive by yourself! The universe will move with you and evolve with you as you change. Also, most importantly for me, you will feel free!! and will definitely be happier than living with your parents. It feels amazing to finally be able to fully be yourself. Honestly, it was the best decision I’ve made in perhaps my whole life.
Perhaps, but in many cases this can be dysfunctional too, because the parent tries to kick the child out too soon, with no idea how to function in the world. It can be like throwing a person overboard a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, and hoping they figure out how to swim and don't drown. Many people DO drown, and it's their parents fault for throwing them overboard.
i am screwed, I came back to help a sibling who was going off the rails, then lost my own mind and now i am 40 and stuck with my mom. PLEASE YOU MUST LEAVE HOME AND ONLY COME BACK TO VISIT. YOU WILL NEVER GROW IF YOU STAY AT HOME. ESPECIALLY IN THE WEST. EASTERN CULTURES ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT
Moved out at 16. It’s seemed like the end back then but when I look back now in my 20s, the best decision I ever made. I’m very assertive, for clear boundaries and over all self control.
7:13 SO TRUE! Sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of the environment you're in because it's holding you back. It's not all 100% inner work. It's got to be a combo of inner work and environments that support you, not staying somewhere toxic where you do inner work all the time and never see any benefit from it because, well, you're living somewhere toxic!
Yeah, it's not all "spiritual fuzz" btw... you still have to put your socks in the morning & you feel pain if someone kicks you... Realizing your environment is bad for you = waking from the matrix, that simple...
I cut myself off from my toxic parent. Did a few years of getting to know what I like. Got happy with just hanging in my own energy. I m not so bad after all. This is opposite how I grew up. The daily message delivered was you were never wanted. Slapped daily for speaking up. Once out of that I was able Truely feel my energy and liked it. Now its been 20 years and I was asked to do small stuff for her while she went thru a hip replacement. I had to call my spiritual teacher to say thank you for helping me. I owe him big! ❤ I realized here I am staying with her swimming in that nasty energy and it is NOT affecting me! 😯😯😯 I just needed a break from swimming in it, to gain new skills! Hang in there everybody!
And to make things worse, people who are fortunate to have money to move out of their parent's house typically find a girlfriend/boyfriend that creates the same problems just like they did living with their parents. Living alone is the greatest thing i ever had. I live my life with the goal of never having to have another person be bound to it.
We create similar patterns but not every issue your parents conditioned you with is going to manifest in your next relationship/friendships. Some will, but not every damn one of them (like if you were living at home)
Each person who suffers from this situation has only one question in mind: how to get out of it? The will is not lacking, but the contemporary world has become a very hostile place to rebuild one's life.
@@eaglescout70 Teal Swan just made an interesting live where she talks about stuckness, it will give answers! For your financial struggle, I will advise you to find a way to feel empowered about it, at least to be able to cover your own need ( food, clothing etc) and to dedicate your time on it, to work on it. At least you will use your time to progress, and make use of your situation to build something. Do things you enjoy, and master it. I bless you
@Phoenix Mystery it's another path, another struggle, not better, nor worse. In both case it's a deal with a feeling of stuckness. But it's a good option indeed to experiment it also. Whatever we choose, why suffering? why struggling? Just enjoy the hell if we are in
I feel like Teal is watching me at this point. Lol. She knows always what i needed to hear. However, if we can't move out yet what can we do to keep our authenticity untill we move out? Thanks for the video Teal! 💖✨✨❤️
Always keep your guard up, make an invisible shield, internally. Pray, meditate and work out/walk-run in nature. And, if you're someone who likes to be alone. Don't be afraid to talk to yourself by uplifting yourself to remind yourself who you are giving you the self belief of your own authentic self.
I was in this situation (trap living with my parents) before, this might sound cheesy but in my case i got out because the universe was helping me out.. i think when we are like 100% commited into wanting one thing (like moving out), the opportunity to move out will come to you.. Your job is to ask yourself how bad do you want to move out from your parents house ? Is there any part of you that stills want to stay or can't leave your parents ? And if there is (parts of you that still wants to stay) how could you make peace with it to go align with the part of you that wants to move out ? Example: a part of me that loves my parents disagree with me leaving my parents because its afraid that something will happen to them when i leave.. which means this part of me is still going againts my will to move out.. if you happen to have these kind of internal struggle, you need to find resolution with those part of yourself first.. For me after i was able to make all parts of me to want to move out, the opportunity just came.. and you know what, my parents are actually fine, and both me n my parents live more happy 😂 they realize they didn't need me after all
In regards if it is financial issue that becomes the matter, hmm i think i had to come to the point where that part of me that was afraid to move out because it didn't know how i could survive out there (the part of me that is afraid of struggling), i kind of needed to reach the point where even that part of me also come to a term that is better to struggle in the early stage of moving out from my parents house and it's better to do it NOW (while i'm still young), rather than waiting for God knows how many years to come.. in my mind n heart i was ready to face anything, i was ready to struggle as long as i am struggling for my own life.. Then somehow a few months later, i met someone who also wanted to start living on her own too, but she was financially stable and actually already had her own apartment that she just left unoccupied.. so she offered me to stay in that apartment as she also wants to start to live on her own.. she needed company that is not her family yet a friend who she feels safe to live with.. so that is how i started, i didn't expect my initial moving out process would be that comfy, but i guess this is how the universe works 😅
I'm currently living with a parent, and it sucks. Somehow, I'm still dependent and I'm trying to use my time here to heal from my trauma by using them as triggers. Can't wait to move out soon when I can.
Well my spiritual therapist also told me to do this, to use it as triggers.. but honestly, i feel that living away from my parents feels such a relief.. and i just focus on healing the emotional wounds that comes from my social interaction with my friends now 😊
Same, only I would come to realize in this dynamic it prevents my healing. It took everything blowing up for me to fully wake up and see how I was playing back into the patterns. Now I’m working to get myself figured out. Just initiated distance and some necessary separation. I’m setting a solid boundary. I’m trusting that opportunities will open up and allowing myself to feel it all. It’s time for me to get out, and stay out.
This was my experience moving back home for a bit after college. My personal growth was challenged and stunted and it skyrocketed once I left. Saving $ is no excuse because of how much more you can earn when in an environment in which you thrive.
I had to move back in with my mother 7 months ago it's horrible. Sadly I feel stuck because I want to save up enough as to never return before I leave. The environment has led to a deep depression. Omg that explains the feelings of powerlessness j feel and I couldn't figure out whoa.
I recently moved out on my household. I'm 21 and I didn't plan on doing it so early, but things got extremely bad and emotionally abusive at home. But now I have depression and no sense of direction because I was used to my parents controlling me all the time
It makes complete sense why your body and mind would want to just rest now, without being controlled or pushed to do something 💗💗💗 she addresses this in one of her workshops where they talk about chronic fatigue. I’m so happy you were able to get out. How you feel now makes completely sense
That's awesome @User I'm 23 and still stuck in this horrible jail I cry everyday because of this mental torture I just hope I can move out soon or I'm gonna go insane soon enough i just can't take it anymore I'm so desperate to move out I wish I had help
I feel that living with my parents as an adult has made me a better person. I was abused and neglected at times as a child (I was also very loved and taken care of at times), but as an adult I was able to work through these difficulties little by little. Now my parent and I are on peaceful terms and respect each other’s space. I will move out eventually, but I don’t feel so rushed like I did as a child. If I had left as soon as I turned 18, I would be estranged from my family right now due to all of the pent up anger I had over how I perceived my childhood. But living with my parents as an adult allowed me to see them as people and not just the adults who raised me. I can have compassion and empathy for my parents now, and when I do leave I will remember this time we spent settling our differences and instead of estranging myself, I will keep in contact with them and visit from time to time. You only get one biological family and you can learn a lot about yourself by spending time with the people who birthed you; subconscious things and generational curses. By spending time with my parents, I was able to see what I had in common with them AND what I would like to do differently.
thank you for sharing this, I see how it really allows you to be more aware of yourself of what you'd rather let go, by seeing generational patterns. important point So if someone wants to move out and is not able to do it right now you can somehow use it to your advantage until you can move out
Yeah I’m in a similar space with my mum and my step dad, we are in a much better healthier place now. My relationship with my Dad though and my best friends with her mum will almost always just keep hurting us and stopping our personal growth. I wish it was different and I could be in a good place with all my parents but you can’t change people, they change themselves.
That is awesome 😎 I am so happy for your healing and forgiveness. You sound like a very emotionally healthy person yourself. Peace. I feel the same way.
My parents came to live with my 4 children and myself and I helped my Dad look after my Mom(heart) So over 15 years before they passed. My children and I are so thankful we did this. It gave us a very strong bond with them. They taught us many skills and knowledge. Know it is opposite of what you are discussing. They came to live with me.
@@SaminSays No read what I said again. My parents came to live with me. Totally different mindset vs kids going to or staying with parents. And yes I was truly blessed to have my parents live with my children and I. The dynamics were adult-adult vs parent-child
As a 31 y/o adult, I've been moving in & out of my parent's house for the last 10 yrs since I started working. Whenever I experience failure, I would move back home to "heal my wounds" and start over again. Sometimes it took months to a year. I didn't realize that it has become a pattern already. At first I thought it's okay bec. they're no longer living in that house (they're already based in the province) & I pay all the bills except for the rent. However, now I realize that I should be really on my own. That I could fully trust myself & that I can achieve whatever it is I want.
Your timing is amazing as always, Teal. I was literally just in the bathroom thinking about my situation and whether it's really such a good idea to continue living with my mom.
I'm 33 & my dad lives with me. Since I was 16 I was paying to help my parents. I was the parentified child, & I'm still in that dynamic, but I feel an obligation to take care of my father, as I did before my mom died when I was 26.
Thanks Teal I was considering moving back in this is veryyyy timely. I definitely don't need to move back in. I have been considering moving back in bc I was feeling incapable of making it in my own. I realized today that I never got the encouragement I needed that I could have and follow my dreams. So I am reparenting my inner child; letting her show she is capable and worthy.
@@SaminSays Presidents don't actually run government, they are simply puppets for the industries (eg. war & pharmaceutical) and hidden elite that control government.
In a Teal video she has said to a girl that living with your parents & expecting to heal, is like having been a nazzi camp prisoner & expecting to heal while living with the nazzies!..
@@ashleym1358 I think it was in th Vancouver sync workshop, when Teal talks with a brown long haired woman who is a singer & wants to know her neg imprint, but I 'm not sure how far into the conversation she mentions that quote, & I can't find part 2, so it' s either somewhere in part 1, or in part 2, which may have been erased.. Sorry I can't remember much, cuz it's been a long time since I've watched :)
Couldn't watch this all the way, stopped in the first half. Listening to this makes me angry because of my situation. I know that living with my parents is not the best thing to do, but there are many things that keep me here - from practical to emotional. So now I'm angry at myself for not being good or successful enough to get a full time good-money job, to even make moving out a possibilitty. Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Maybe someday I will be able to watch this video 'till the end..
I get you, I'm feeling angry and frustrated the last couple of days too. But we have the right to feel this way, I don't want to suppress this anymore. Still, I believe both you and me are divinely supported so we'll figure it out eventually Much love to you💫
I feel you. I do. My situation I have no choice. Not sure if that makes it easier or harder. Feels like both. Like playing tug of war with with the rope tied to a tree.
Left my Parents house when I was 17 years old and that was the best thing I have done! So good to fly with my own wings' freedom, wisdom, and resilience have become part of my character.
Teal, you have helped me since my daughter was a little girl and now she is 20 and today she watched this video and sent it to me. It was GREAT for her to hear your perspective on why it's time for us NOT to live together anymore. It would be the BEST things for BOTH of us. She told me to watch until the end of the video because she wanted me to know that she is going to do this for me. I am a parent who wants us to live apart now and the guilt about this has been tearing me apart, when it didn't have too. After watching your video, I know that it can be LOVING to want to live apart.
On the OTHER hand,I think it's pretty awesome if/when someone "needs"/"should" go back home and live with their parents for whatever reason,CAN actually do that at no significant harm to their mental, emotional, psychological,spiritual and /or physical well being. ✌️♥️😊
Yep, yep and yep. Thankfully I was able to move out. 1 month was long enough and I started falling back into habits I grew out of. Thankful for the experience. I learned a lot about the patterns I adopted. Now it's time to move two steps forward! Thanks for the clarity Teal🙂🙏
I love living with my parents. 3 - 6 months a year, then off traveling the globe again! After that I need a refresh to broaden horizons. But I guess there's a huge difference between being forced to live with parents and coming back of your own volition. I'd never live in an inhospitable environment - I would literally get a cabin in the woods.
@@bassmanoper6659 Well, I have the house free for the next 3 months, they are on holiday. It all depends on how much physical, emotional, and mental space you're allowed to have while living there. If they infringe on any of these, it's time to leave, pronto!
@@lRedBaronl Sorry, TH-cam won't let me reply to you with meaningful content. It's automatically taken down. I had no idea that the sen sor shi_p was this far fetched. No links allowed or no mention of the 'crisis' that we are going through that is resulting in new airlines and travel opportunities. But I can say that travel is easy. Just go. It will become a paradigm and LOA will do the rest. I'm a freelancer on Upwork that writes for a living, and currently setting up my own website so I can write for myself. Best of luck with your travels!
I have two weeks till I move out living at home strangles my social life and gives me anxiety even when not at home I am so excited to be self sufficient and live my own life
I didn’t have a choice but to move me and my son back with my parents. It was either my parents or homeless..I went thru a nasty Divorce after 20 years of marriage but my ex husband was abusive and Narcisstic and took my house away from me. I lost everything and had no where to go, I can’t afford to live in my own due to not making enough money to support me and my son. I need my privacy but I need to recover financially first and save money first . I promised and swore to my son I would enroll back in college, graduate from college, etc. for me I had nowhere to go. It was either my parents or homeless. So I made a sacrifice and asked my parents if I could stay with them. Once I get back on feet then I’m moving out for good.🙏
Not to tell you your business, but I would really advise against enrolling in college (severe debt) to earn money. It's been a poor idea for the past 20 years and now is even more dangerous than ever. Hope you get out soon! You'll do it.
It's good that you had the option to live with your parents after such an exhausting ordeal. It's giving you a chance to breathe and regroup and reprogram your mind again. And your parents get to see their grandson every day. As long as the parental relationship isn't off the charts unhealthy, I think it can be a good and even mutually beneficial situation. You get to heal and also practice setting boundaries again in a safe environment, which is so important after a relationship that leaves you questioning your own sanity and personhood. Best of luck to you. I hope you love school and can make a new lovely life for yourself 😘
@@summersalix Well, I work as a freelancer on UpWork (primarily ). But there are thousands of ways to make money and all different kinds of jobs. Really, I recommend Resonance and the Law of Attraction. It's the Golden Ticket. If you focus on enough money, you will have enough money. If you focus on moving house, you will move house. If you focus on travel. You will travel. It's a universal law. Making money though University is so 20th century and slow. 8 years minimum to break even? Why not make money immediately? Peace! ✌️
Wow. As soon as I saw the title and I clicked. one I KNOW that this is a huge problem for me! To acknowledge this in my community is considered blasphemous. This was so on time and so important. You absolutely nailed this.Clearly you know my parent- and my family. I once said to my therapist- how can I heal on the very environment that caused me pain. Every single point resonates. This was incredibly validating.
Reading the comments, it seems like a lot of people are offended and think that Teal is telling them what to do and ignoring the fact that some people have no other option. I don't think that's the case. This video isn't for everyone that's living with their parents...it's for those that are in this situation, experiencing problems and unsure of the reasons why. As with most of Teal's videos, this one is to put the experience into words and explain how situations might become what they are. If you're taking this video as a personal insult and feeling commanded by it, she's made her point.
I agree. I get the reaction, I think it's coming from a place of feeling trapped and I used to be defensive like that too, before I realized I didn't have to justify my feelings. Moreover, I didn't want to admit I was using this belief of victimization and helplessness to avoid my own responsibility, to avoid facing my fears, to feel important, and to maintain my denial that the strategies I was using in life were working when they were terrible. I accepted I deserved to get what I wanted to it was okay to abandon those strategies, because they're not me, they're something I'm doing. It was a deeply painful realization and I can see why people are getting reactive--not everyone is ready to face the immense grief of knowing they may have contributed to past or present circumstances. This doesn't mean it's your fault, it just means it is possible you could have done different things to a different end, you can't always in the moment and that's normal--what is true is you can always look back after and say, "What have I learned from this? How can I improve?" The great thing is, once you realize your contribution, it gives you the power to do different and therefore leave those patterns, and actually get a sense of competency, control, and worth. But most people can't admit it so they insist they are victims instead, not knowing they are ensuring they will never be free of this "curse" by refusing to learn lessons from what has happened to them.
@@inthenebula92 I feel this!! If I would have seen this video a few months ago I would have been filled with rage. But since I have already realized these things and started to take initiative, I found it to be more of a validation of these truths I have been feeling. It is horrible to feel trapped. But we are not trapped! As long as we have ownership of our minds we can find a way to freedom. (In most circumstances) I will not be controlled or manipulated. As soon as I started to set boundaries and take care of myself my mom wanted me to be on psychiatric medication. And I did use it as a tool but that was my choice. Now I finally have found a house to move to that will be my own! And it was only when I realized I deserved it and felt worthy of it and used all of my anger as fuel to move me forward that everything aligned with this new opportunity. I don't blame my mom for these patterns- like teal said I feel like it is just as detrimental to her growth for us to regress into old patterns.
So weird you posted this video now because a huge chunk of my depression comes from still living with my parents. I’m only here because financially I can’t afford to live on my own. I’m grateful to have a roof over my head but healing childhood trauma and having the dynamics I do with my parents is soul crushing. I just don’t know what to it to be able to afford my own space. I really need a miracle soon because I’m breaking.
Teal has a point, and yes this does not apply to everyone. I am blessed to be part of what teal has mentioned in the first part of this video "extremely rare parents" . They are the kind who are respectful, supportive, kind and who knows their part in a child's life which is to be a friend and to be a good steward. I have finished university with no student loan because in our culture it is important for parents to be there for their child until we can fully stand on our own. It is their pride and happiness to be able to share those moments with us. They just want what's best for us nothing more nothing less. Living with them would definitely be a blessing and an opportunity to be able to spend time and be there for them in the remaining years of their lives, and make wonderful memories hopefully with their grand kids. It would be great if my kids would experience the uncinditional love that their grand parents have. If there's one thing I could offer them is the time to be there for them when their knees gets weak, when they don't have the energy to do things as they normally would. As long as you know your strength, you know your capabilities other people's opinion on how to live your life or what's the ideal thing to do does not matter anymore because everyone has a different perception of life and how it should be. Life is short to focus totally on being independent, or being able to prove to the world that you can fly high. It's also about how you treat other people, specially your parents who were there for you one way or another . Life is a case to case basis. Don't be afraid of peoples judgment, don't follow other people's ideology, always live your life your terms. Because in the end you know what's best for you in a given circumstance, don't let pride and other people's opinion affect you even if you end up on the streets. You have to know your truth and you have to learn how to appreciate your parents no matter what stage you are in your life, specially if your parents did the best they could to be good ones. As long as you are not hurting anyone or violating others then just do what you think is best for you. No judgment! ✌❤
Thank you Teal. I moved back home to help other family members and myself. However I see that I have gone back into my old servant caretaking role. Thank you for your clarity💜🙏
If people could move out of their parents' home they would. Just saying. Consider that a lot of us left and had to come back due to unforseen circumstances. Makes living with your parents feel very different and definitely not in a good way.
It's a bigger issue now than ever before it seems. My uncle lived my grandmother after he got married for a year to save money...then they bought a house. The problem is now millennials could never save up that kind of money in a year. Maybe 10 years. lol
@@theetherealartist-yoshi On the contrary. I think it's good when a video triggers people. Means there's hurt they have to work on. It just sort of feels like this didn't have a target audience in mind. A good number of people who watch Teal are adults who are way past this is what I'm trying to get at.
@@stitches318 That's true. And that's if it's a couple. A single person trying to make it on their own like that has to be very bright with numbers. I'm not saying it can't be done but it's a walk in the woods for sure.
Is this video intended to be a mind trick? People who live with their parents are largely already FULL of resistance and shame about this. Maybe the sting that is felt in this is exactly the thing to trigger a response of looking at why it actually has been expansive or how it can start to be. Or a trigger to look deeper at the fear and self-doubt that paralyzes and prevents moving on. This is a painful and complex subject, and I wish everyone the best on this, both for your personal power and interpersonal connection.
@Laura Hackstein loaded question my dear. Shameful mainly because of the expectations I have of myself being the age that I am and in the current life circumstances that I am in. Also the programming of society that teaches at such and such an age one needs to have their life figured out to a certain extent; ie. Own place, partner and or family, career, vehicle. Etc. And if you don't have all or one of the above at the age Society deems approptiate, there is something very wrong with you. See, society teaches us to be ashamed. And its up to us to undo all of that programming, unlearn those things that do not serve us and cultivate healing from within.
What Teal Swan doesn't understand is that most people who are living with their parents would NOT have wanted to live with their parents in the first place, and that the only reason why they are still living with their parents in the first place is because rent and other expenses are too high and it's really difficult to find a job, and that if the economy was a lot better then most people would NOT have chosen to live with their parents in the first place. Therefore the only reason why they're still living with their parents is because they have no other choice, NOT because they want to.
Very timely! I just had my mom move up with me. So far it’s been pretty good. I haven’t lived with her in over 10 years so she’s going to have to get to know me as an adult now. And I want her to live her best life
You are absolutely correct in Your analysis and diagnosis, Goddess Teal. However, there aren't a lot of opportunities on the outside either. Not everything is reducible to an individual's psychological motivation, especially during times of chronic sociological dysfunction and collapse. Praise You.
This video couldn’t come soon enough!!! I’ve been explaining to my therapist all these concepts for years, and have been trying to get assistance to move out, but it’s so normalized to live with parents because of the global economy, that people, even those in power to help make the change, just don’t see the intense gravity of the situation people who were abused so badly by their parents are in as adults!
I’m Indian who grew up in the US n Canada later they moved to India. Hated living with my mom. Thanks for saying that. I’m back in Canada after fourteen years. Woo woo!
Truth……. The last year I’ve lived with my brother and it’s given me the clarity of knowing it’s easier for me to appreciate my family from far away, and the key for success 🌞💛🙏
I live with my parents, am building a new home so my parents can move in with me. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It may not be for everyone but it’s my choice and I’m so happy with my decision. I love my parents.
Wow, Teal, at this point i feel like you are always there for me when i need you, without even knowing each other personally. It is a very nice feeling and thank you for that. ❤️ I am one of those adults who faced some difficulties in moving out from their parents home (due to financial difficulties, i lived with my mother up until my mid 20’s). Now in my early 30s and in a much, much better place, i find that my husband wants to invite both our parents (only my mother and his father are still alive, we share that experience of losing our other parent while we were in college) to live with us. To this, i had an almoust violent reaction; i even said, without even realising, that i would better have a break up then live with parents again. Needless to say, he was shocked and he doesn’t understand why i would go to that extreme. My relationship with both my parents was pretty good, i never experienced major trauma and we love each other, but they both were and my mother stil is controlling and possesive. My husband said that if i’m not on board with it he will not even open the subject again, but he doesn’t really understand where i’m coming from (i tried to explain, but he doesn’t really understand) and to be honest, i don’t understand where he is coming from with this idea all of the sudden. ( I know it is related to the fact that he lost his mother early on, and while i share that experince of losing my father early, i do not feel the need to move back in with them. I mean, i wish we could visit more often and spend more time together and this pandemic has surely not helped with that, but i would never go that far into moving back out of my own will. Anyway, this video helped a lot and you really answered some of my questions. 🤗
My parents are disabled, I live with and support them, also I dont make much. I can't stand it. I resent them, and I feel terrible for feeling that way.
with all kindness, respect, and curiosity because im in the same boat, how did you do it? like affording it financially? please, any advice would be appreciated!!
I am from India and I can attest that these things are cent per cent correct. The degree may vary in different households but it does happen and we are taught to accept them as normal. That's why we need healing. I healed from this pain and I am in love with my life.
I waited a month before I could watch this. I've lived with my folks since 2015 and the last couple of years I've known I need to do it. Every time I thought about it and would express it to people, they would encourage me to stay, that they wished they lived with their parents. But not standing on my own two feet has taken away my confidence and leaves me feeling powerless. Basically everything TEAL said, its true. I am setting a 6 month plan to move out, my parents agree. I will find the resources I need to make this successful, though I know it will be tough and that scares me, but I will survive. I'm ready.
I've had to distance myself from the house now because my father is an alcoholic but I do try to stay and help out when I can. It's painful because they are now getting quite old and I would love to stay more but if I spend any amount of time under that roof it gets claustrophobic. I now stay at my flat and travel back to chill with them for a bit and then come back sooner to keep myself safe. But I'm lucky that I have that luxury. I'm so glad I have a flat that I can go to. For people who don't have a place to go and are struggling, I know how it feels! Things will work out in the end 💙
Hang in there hon! Mine r getting old too & it causes a lot of sadness & guilt, but I try to remember they chose their own misery, which ruined my life too, so.. but it is truly a tough situation.. :)
Wow! I just had something happen with a toxic parent who just threatened me after putting a boundary in place and you upload this video exactly when I needed it. Thank you so much 🙏 they say things come to you when you ask the universe and let go of the outcomes 💕
@@petehotton4740 nooo not that. Please dont do that 💕 I would never wish that on anyone. What I mean is for example, I've been in a toxic situation for 19+ years since I was 4 years old. I'm now 23 years old and still in it. It's not as bad as it used to be but it's still damaging and I've been asking "what do I need to do? When will I ever be able to get out of here without any housing available? What can I do to cope when I've reached the end of my tolerance point?" And then I let go of any expectations and forgot about the questions until 15 minutes later Teal uploaded this video which is exactly what I needed and answered my call
Damm yes I went abroad for studying and when I’m back and couldn’t get a job for a while and when I got a job it was through their connections so….. I’m still this powerless child? anyways workplace so toxic and resemble relationships at home actually so I just left the job and had a major reflection and this is what I needed to hear and take actins toward. It was kinda beneficial for me to be back with parents because now I understand my triggers and my own toxic behavior more and work through my own traumas and inner child. Now i just hope to get the hell out of here !!!!!! Environment does play a major impact. God/universe bless
It’s one of the number one things I hate about my life right now. My situation keeps me right here with never enough money to move out today but if I did I’d be living alone, all day every day. Sure I’d be independent and be able to freely do what I want but I’d surely be all alone too as I don’t actually have friends except for maybe my brother who I haven’t seen since April. I think there’s a reason it hasn’t worked out for me the way it did for my siblings
Our parents thrust us into this vile world for the sole purpose of ego satisfaction. Living with them should be minimized as much as possible in spite of the ever dwindling economic opportunity we have in the wonderful society that we're forced to depend upon. Sleeping in a truck (in the sleeper) is infinitely better than living at home.
The amount of helpful information I get from your videos is crazy.. especially compared to my psychologist.. like the comprehension of things is on another level with you 🙌🏻 Thank you
All points are valid. A counterpoint I would add is that context is important & not every adult who lives with their parents are preventing their success/growth by doing so. In situations where an adult isn't mentally/emotionally stable enough to live on their own, living with their parents can actually save their life. I speak from personal experience. If my mother were to kick me out about a year or two ago at the height of my suicidal period I promise you I'd be dead by now. Ofc my relationship with my mother comes with trauma as does ANY & every relationship but for that time it truly caused more good than harm.
I resisted watching this video right away because it is my painful reality. I tried everything in my power to never go back, but I could not find stable job. I also had to heal physically from terrible fall. Covid made things worst because most of use are back living with our abusive parent. It is extremely toxic, and I am feeling powerless and defeated more and more everyday. I do not know what to do at this point except applying for jobs and doing shadow work.
I lived with my folks for almost throughout my entire 20s, I'm now 30 and it was only just last year during the Covid Lockdown(s) I was still unemployed and could barely get a job to thrive or even accumulate enough money to be able to move out. Luckily my folks did help me move into my own apartment where I now lead a life of independance and I have a job where I can make a decent amount of money to get by. I finally feel like an adult, without any of the limitations of having "extended adolesence" had on me, especially when doing the chores and letting them know when I'll be out or back in time. I still get to visit them every now and then, but it's not like I miss living with them (maybe part of me does), I still maintain a great relationship with my family, I'm just glad to be my own person now, since I knew change had to happen. Even if I do move back, I can only hope it'll be temporary and I'll be able to support myself for the rest of my life.
Best decision ever! It's such a relief to know that you don't owe them explanation for your whereabouts and when to go back home. Besides, you always make decisions on what to have for lunch or dinner and such.
Perfect timing again Teal! I had thought about living with my mom again to save money but I’ve been thinking it’s such a terrible idea because I don’t wanna have to repeat cycles. I already have codependency issues and I moved back in with my mom after my first divorce. I feel like it re-traumatized me and it took way more healing than it would have if I had been able to break my codependent nature sooner.
I moved back in with my mom when the whole Covid saga started. Legit when I live with her I'm healthier, more grounded and more open-minded. She actually encourages me to expand, be my best self, not get stuck or limited, and is the most wonderful compassionate person to live with. She has also really grown throughout the years... completely different person when compared to my younger years. At first when I clicked on this video I was worried it would highlight my blind spots or something wrong, but I've only just become more grateful 🙏
I hear you Teal. I wound up on way too hardcore of an expansion path that deconstructed who I was as a human being, I lost all my stability within myself and actually wound up overdosed/lucky to be alive in the hospital more times than I'd like to count (that addiction escalated quickly). So now I'm at a point where I'm dependent on my environment for stability as commitment to the slow n steady, consistent steps to prune off self destructive patterns..aka living with my mom chapter. But I feel like I can't even dream..its like now all my ambitions are cut into a quarter/need to be realistic/stable..cuz my mom's need to firmly try to keep me safe is in def overdrive. I guess the way to go about this is to give myself a timeline to move out (already was the plan, but the relapses that landed me in a hospital every time kept setting me back)
all this to say...I hear you and I feel you..its not a fun spot but sometimes you gotta do it if you can. If its the difference between you having a good shot at staying alive or not for ex)
Something about living with the current older generation seems more triggering than ever before. They are all huge control freaks. When I finally moved out of my mom's house, I got an upstairs neighbor (a boomer) who basically took my mom's place. she complains about everything, monitors every little thing I do, from putting out bird feeders, to not taking in my packages quick enough, to yelling at my kid when he is playing quietly in the yard (he was pulling on a tree branch. she looked out the window and didn't like that). Now I have to move to get away from my neighbor!
@@kristenstewart1250 No, it's boomers, not the gen xers. Many boomers, especially the older Appalachian/country ones are quite negative and nosey, always talking trash about others and wondering why the neighbors haven't gone to work today, etc.
This is fascinating and enlightening. I’ve always felt that when i visit my family, and i thought it was just me. My friends always say that they love go and visit their families and i feel like an outsider. Idk, every time that i have to go i feel anxious and when i get home i feel drained
I’ve lived all over the US,, appeared to be successful, “happy”, but I was actually soo sad,, just trying to keep up. I’m living with my mom right now and it’s been great for my mental health.. I feel like I’m getting a new start, and I’m actually realizing what my purpose is by slowing down. Don’t be afraid to “start over” ... 🤍
Isn't it interesting that because of the whole scamdemic and economic inflation so many young people can't afford to move out or they are having to move back home with their parents? It's like the universe is forcing us to heal our family wounds. Great video!
Thank you for this video Teal. The truth may hurt, but it needs to be said in order for us to grow... Now please give us a Part 2- HOW do we begin to get past this toxic stagnation and move out on our own?
July 2020, I moved back in with my mom after living far away for a year. She was in danger of hurting herself after a divorce. December through March I was back and forth, and this June I was with her most of the month to help her settle into a new home. I’ll tell you, we’re not talking at the moment. It was very destructive for me, but I don’t regret it because it helped her gain some footing. I don’t have a relationship with my father either at this point. Over two years ago, I moved far away from them at 22 because of ongoing abuse that I couldn’t even escape during college. Having a separation from them is hard but the best decision I’ve ever made. Now I’m free to do whatever I want in life.
The next video should be "Why working for a minimum wage job is a bad idea." Because it seems like you move out of your bad home environment to spending most of your time at a job that feels terrible to be at just so you can afford to live away from your parents. Capitalism sort of sucks. Handsome rich men hmu.
Omg, u are so right about the self help people (even the good ones), they keep saying that u can do it alone, that it doesn't matter what's happening outside of u. It's the inside which matters. And I just couldn't see it work in my life.
Thank you Teal💛💛💛 this is so damn relevant for me. right now more than ever. I know I need to move (I’m 31 and have felt the calling since I was 16! Maybe even earlier) but it’s so difficult to face because of the enmeshment and codependency especially now when the world feels more unsafe.
I don't know if I should leave or not. Financially, I was in a terrible place last year. Now, I'm more stable, but one of the them has a neurological disease, and I can work from home. I want to move out again more than anything, but that loved one cannot look after themselves.
Hi there, well i don't think anyone in here could make the decision for you 😊 but i could share my perspective from my own experience I left my parents house around a year ago, luckily my life is more peaceful, and i could even start to heal from my emotional burnout.. but i did realize that the reason why i could move forward in peace and even move forward with no regret, it's because i already reach the point of "i just can't take it anymore" with my parents when i made that decision. So i believe that only we can decide for ourselves, whether it's better to stay or leave 😊
Teal i moved out at 29 and i felt amazing but my mother started to have anxiety abt me not living home and her health was declining. It guilted me into moving back home. And i feel completely powerless in my adulthood
HOW DO YOU GET OUT AND STAY OUT, HAPPILY??? I think all of us in the comments already feel shamed, judged + trapped. It would be very helpful to have a video on how to disentangle from these energetic chains keeping us w/our parents. Especially with more “subtle” abuse involved. I did appreciate this video though. Very timely.
I just moved back in with them about 2 weeks ago. So far it's going good but I'm afraid of it turning like this. Thankfully I have a plan of moving out in a couple of months once I stack up enough cash.
I relate to this and I immediately clicked when I saw the title 😂 I want to move out but my mom is not a bad parent and we don't have extreme unhealthy dynamics but I feel I have no life beyond my family and I feel stuck. Due to having financial problems and a messy divorce between my parents I have developed a habit of sort of parenting her and being there for her, its kind of hard wired and I don't know how to be myself. I was listening to Abraham Hicks and then your video popped up, its so in sync to what I have been asking the Universe! I just wish I have enough financial independence to move out, which currently I don't 😞 I'm ready to expand beyond my current reality! 🌞 Thank you 💖
This was good, but please also do a video about Why Living at Home with Your Parents Might not be the Worst Thing in the World. Those of us who are in circumstances that we can't change in the short-term -- and yes, there are such circumstances, it's not always a matter of sheer will or stunted growth or dreadfully unhealthy family relationships -- have a lot of conflict over the issue and get messages from all around that it's completely abnormal to live with your parents again as an adult, no matter how temporary or special the circumstances or how much prior independent adult growth you've had. There is something to be said about being in that situation and actually re-formulating your relationship with your parents in the sense of using boundaries and being your true self in a way that you never were before. You did mention here and there that it could be ok but it's rare, but please make an episode of how it can be not so bad, and/or tips while you're in the situation. Thank you.
Always use this environment to lunch your own life. Whether good or bad. A POSITIVE video will only reinforce patterns for people to not take responsibility and accountability of experiencing their own journey whether they come from healthy or unhealthy circumstances. Bless UP
@@krownofficial6246 I see your point but don't think it's always true. A positive message about something can serve to validate a person's often-invalidated experience and inform others about it. For example: Up until about 15 or so years ago, no one was talking about the ok-ness let alone the merits of being an introvert. Before then, you were considered shy, socially inept, and kind of a weirdo. And so those first early articles and videos and books and TED talks about it were sending a positive message -- to the public and to introverts themselves -- that the gold standard for a well-adjusted person should not have extroversion as the only option, because many, many people are not extroverts, and that's not only perfectly ok and the way it should be, it's the way society should *want* it to be. So that's a positive message in support of people with a certain type of behavior or characteristic that in the moment might not have seemed positive to a lot of people. Imagine an introverted teenager whose parents are always criticising them, telling them they need to change their ways if they want people to like them and if they want to be successful in life. Now imagine the parents seeing Susan Cain's 2012 TED talk, "The power of introverts." The parents would probably think it was bs and reinforcing a negative behavior, and that it was encouraging their kid to not change what was in their eyes a terrible way of being. Fast-forward 10 years, and the talk has now been viewed 32 million times and translated into dozens of languages, and MS. Cain's books are consistently best sellers. Introversion was clearly a conversation waiting to happen, and scores of people have benefited by its having been finally cast in a positive light. There are many, many examples of this, where drawing positive attention to what's been typically thought of as a negative thing has shown that very few things in this world are black and white, and that it's important to try to understand other people's experiences, and important for people to know that their own experiences aren't necessarily wrong, even if they're considered as such by the general public.
My heart goes out to all who are longing to be set free...
Get help to help yourself getting yourself free. You are here so you're trying, even if it's not everyday, as long as you're trying one day you will succeed. I'm not even worried.
Thank you
@Jay Jay 41 wow!
I am 23 and I can't stand this sense of imprisonment so I wonder how have you coped/survived for so long
Me
Thank you 🙏
For those of us that can’t leave, just keep doing our inner work and make an effort to be conscious of our own patterns and those around us. Thats the best we can do with what we have.
Yes, I'm stuck at home due to pandemic I was visiting my parents and now hopefully in next 2 years .
🤧
Yes, I'm living with them and when I change patterns within me they first might resist me but at the end they always adapt and also thrive from it.
You always can, just do it
I beat myself up for not trying hard enough then I feel so awful I convince myself to stop blaming myself. In my heart of hearts, I know I need to leave to benefit all of us, but currently, financially, I haven't figured out a way. I'm praying, I'm doing affirmations, and breathing exercises. I fight everyday to maintain my sanity and continue my spiritual work.
Living with my parents was a bad idea since I was born.
lol
Nice once 🤣
😂🤣😂🤣
Lol
For real,same!✌️♥️😊
lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Indian household parenting perfectly explained! I internalized and blamed myself for the longest time, for all the unmet emotional needs. Thankfully moving out soon with a new job
Sameeee, I hope the same for both of us
Soooo truueee Indian parents lol
well ,although teal refers to India a lot.
I think it's all cultures.
@@pawan21981 no it’s not. It’s the most common in Indian culture.
Thank goodness ❤️
Many people live with their parents because rent is so high, it's so hard to make a home for yourself, it's hard to find a job, make money ... That's the real problem for so many people. No one would live with their parents if getting a job was enough to become independent. Money is the main reason why people don't move away.
True
true, I live in the bay area in Calfornia and many struggle since it's so damn expensive.
@@veninrouge3211 what’s the average for 1 bedroom roughly?
@@sanitary103 That's not the point and you can not look at it like that. You have to give from 50% up to 75% of your salary to pay rent. What's left is not enough for you to live in most cases. If you work for minimal wedge it's impossible.
In Brazil, minimum wage doesn't pay even 75% of the rent.
When I ran away from home at 16, I changed completely
Everything changed completely the funny thing is that my parents and I started changing the moment we "gave up" or rather chose distance
So when I ran away (I got a new home and help from outside) I suddenly had no aggressions anymore like I just wouldn't get aggressive anymore
I was relaxed.. Stopped self harming.. Felt relived and finally authentic
My parents also got more chilled and less conservative and more open
And now years later I have a really good bond to them 🌸
Sailor Moon!💕
Your story is very interesting. And I believe that we must take responsibility for our actions, but I do think others provoke people into acting badly.
Really ? I just started to move out from my parents a year ago.. i did realize that the aggression disappear and i kind of found my inner peace back, but i am still somehow triggered whenever i receive a message from my mother (like asking me to send her things or to buy her things). It kind of reminds me of all the pain and heartache that i went through when i was still living with her..
I am happy that you could come into good terms with your parents ❤ because my good terms with my mom only happens when i block her number from my phone 😂 or else i will see a whatsapp text that is 25cm long, that always end up with her asking for me to get/buy her something. Somehow she thinks it's ok to just use her daughters money to buy things that she herself wouldn't want to spend her money on 😅👏👏👏 the mind of fantastic parents
@Melody Anne mine won't stop pressuring or triggering me even if I get off their backs (been there, done that)..! 😢 another level of narcissists! It makes me feel like it's all vain..
Yes I'm really aggressive sometimes when my mom is home but tend to be calm and relaxed when shes at work.
How did you find the money to just run away? I'm assuming you were still in schoon with no graduation so it would be hard to find a job that can get you enough money for your own apartment
You did it right
I moved out of my parents’ house 2 times and came back until I finally left for good when I was 30 years old. The first time I left with roommates and the second time with a partner (I’m a man) but the last time I left I did so alone. I must point out that I was always afraid of not being able to pay my rent or survive by myself alone so I kept postponing moving out. However, this was a big mistake because like Teal says, every time I moved back I always fell back into old patterns and habits, back into that role I had with the family not matter what I did to try to change it. Some days while living with my parents I felt like my room was a dead end, one that I couldn’t get out of and couldn’t let me evolve. I always felt like I couldn’t fully be myself either because I was always judged if I didn’t act exactly how my parents wanted me to act. It was bad, I enjoyed every little moment I had alone at my parent’s house and when I heard the door open signaling their return I could literally feel the peace leave the house and I was at the mercy of their mood at the moment, sometimes ok, sometimes pretty bad and stressful. Very conflictive and toxic at worst times. I definitely didn’t feel in control of anything.
I remember one time I asked a friend to read the tarot for me just for fun. He told me to ask the cards a question. My question was “how can I achieve happiness?” To my surprise and shock the answer was “move out”. Maybe that was a coincidence since I don’t really believed in tarot readings and those things but that always stuck with me. Going back to feeling insecure and not sure if I was good enough to survive on my own, all I can say is don’t be afraid. As long as your have a job you will survive by yourself! The universe will move with you and evolve with you as you change. Also, most importantly for me, you will feel free!! and will definitely be happier than living with your parents. It feels amazing to finally be able to fully be yourself. Honestly, it was the best decision I’ve made in perhaps my whole life.
Thank you for your input!
@@TheGreyx3 no problem 😉
Thanks for this.
I just waited till I got a good job but it was hell damn I’m still not out but I never want to move back in ew.
@@tsue1664 no problem :)
Healthy parents should encourage there children to become independent, starting while they are living at home.
Perhaps, but in many cases this can be dysfunctional too, because the parent tries to kick the child out too soon, with no idea how to function in the world.
It can be like throwing a person overboard a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, and hoping they figure out how to swim and don't drown.
Many people DO drown, and it's their parents fault for throwing them overboard.
*their
@@andreperry3301 thats how you learn, i used to think like you too. I needed to get thrown out there to see it.
If you're reading this I'm praying something amazing happens for you today. 🙏🏻❤
Let's date
Thank you
Thank you and for you too!
i am screwed, I came back to help a sibling who was going off the rails, then lost my own mind and now i am 40 and stuck with my mom. PLEASE YOU MUST LEAVE HOME AND ONLY COME BACK TO VISIT. YOU WILL NEVER GROW IF YOU STAY AT HOME. ESPECIALLY IN THE WEST. EASTERN CULTURES ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT
Family members will hold you back from your true self.
Moved out at 16. It’s seemed like the end back then but when I look back now in my 20s, the best decision I ever made. I’m very assertive, for clear boundaries and over all self control.
100 percent, shoulda done it earlier.
@@pisaconpala foreal? You just do it lol
7:13 SO TRUE! Sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of the environment you're in because it's holding you back. It's not all 100% inner work. It's got to be a combo of inner work and environments that support you, not staying somewhere toxic where you do inner work all the time and never see any benefit from it because, well, you're living somewhere toxic!
Yeah, it's not all "spiritual fuzz" btw... you still have to put your socks in the morning & you feel pain if someone kicks you... Realizing your environment is bad for you = waking from the matrix, that simple...
I cut myself off from my toxic parent. Did a few years of getting to know what I like. Got happy with just hanging in my own energy. I m not so bad after all. This is opposite how I grew up. The daily message delivered was you were never wanted. Slapped daily for speaking up. Once out of that I was able Truely feel my energy and liked it. Now its been 20 years and I was asked to do small stuff for her while she went thru a hip replacement. I had to call my spiritual teacher to say thank you for helping me. I owe him big! ❤ I realized here I am staying with her swimming in that nasty energy and it is NOT affecting me! 😯😯😯
I just needed a break from swimming in it, to gain new skills! Hang in there everybody!
@@baldwinangel1218 proud of you dear ! Be well and take care of yourself, cause your precious ❤😘
And to make things worse, people who are fortunate to have money to move out of their parent's house typically find a girlfriend/boyfriend that creates the same problems just like they did living with their parents. Living alone is the greatest thing i ever had. I live my life with the goal of never having to have another person be bound to it.
We create similar patterns but not every issue your parents conditioned you with is going to manifest in your next relationship/friendships. Some will, but not every damn one of them (like if you were living at home)
That’s me
Each person who suffers from this situation has only one question in mind: how to get out of it?
The will is not lacking, but the contemporary world has become a very hostile place to rebuild one's life.
I have the same question. I want to start my life but financially and society issues keep me staying with them.
@@eaglescout70 Teal Swan just made an interesting live where she talks about stuckness, it will give answers!
For your financial struggle, I will advise you to find a way to feel empowered about it, at least to be able to cover your own need ( food, clothing etc) and to dedicate your time on it, to work on it.
At least you will use your time to progress, and make use of your situation to build something.
Do things you enjoy, and master it.
I bless you
@Phoenix Mystery it's another path, another struggle, not better, nor worse. In both case it's a deal with a feeling of stuckness. But it's a good option indeed to experiment it also. Whatever we choose, why suffering? why struggling? Just enjoy the hell if we are in
I feel like Teal is watching me at this point. Lol. She knows always what i needed to hear. However, if we can't move out yet what can we do to keep our authenticity untill we move out? Thanks for the video Teal! 💖✨✨❤️
Always keep your guard up, make an invisible shield, internally. Pray, meditate and work out/walk-run in nature. And, if you're someone who likes to be alone. Don't be afraid to talk to yourself by uplifting yourself to remind yourself who you are giving you the self belief of your own authentic self.
You are not alone 🤗
I was in this situation (trap living with my parents) before, this might sound cheesy but in my case i got out because the universe was helping me out..
i think when we are like 100% commited into wanting one thing (like moving out), the opportunity to move out will come to you..
Your job is to ask yourself how bad do you want to move out from your parents house ? Is there any part of you that stills want to stay or can't leave your parents ? And if there is (parts of you that still wants to stay) how could you make peace with it to go align with the part of you that wants to move out ?
Example: a part of me that loves my parents disagree with me leaving my parents because its afraid that something will happen to them when i leave.. which means this part of me is still going againts my will to move out.. if you happen to have these kind of internal struggle, you need to find resolution with those part of yourself first..
For me after i was able to make all parts of me to want to move out, the opportunity just came.. and you know what, my parents are actually fine, and both me n my parents live more happy 😂 they realize they didn't need me after all
In regards if it is financial issue that becomes the matter, hmm i think i had to come to the point where that part of me that was afraid to move out because it didn't know how i could survive out there (the part of me that is afraid of struggling), i kind of needed to reach the point where even that part of me also come to a term that is better to struggle in the early stage of moving out from my parents house and it's better to do it NOW (while i'm still young), rather than waiting for God knows how many years to come.. in my mind n heart i was ready to face anything, i was ready to struggle as long as i am struggling for my own life..
Then somehow a few months later, i met someone who also wanted to start living on her own too, but she was financially stable and actually already had her own apartment that she just left unoccupied.. so she offered me to stay in that apartment as she also wants to start to live on her own.. she needed company that is not her family yet a friend who she feels safe to live with.. so that is how i started, i didn't expect my initial moving out process would be that comfy, but i guess this is how the universe works 😅
Teal rocks
Thank you for this. Im going to watch this again with my parents... moving back home was the worst idea!
I'm currently living with a parent, and it sucks. Somehow, I'm still dependent and I'm trying to use my time here to heal from my trauma by using them as triggers. Can't wait to move out soon when I can.
Well my spiritual therapist also told me to do this, to use it as triggers.. but honestly, i feel that living away from my parents feels such a relief.. and i just focus on healing the emotional wounds that comes from my social interaction with my friends now 😊
Same for me. If only I was financially independent, but still have to wait several more years.
same. we’re going to succeed!!
Same, only I would come to realize in this dynamic it prevents my healing. It took everything blowing up for me to fully wake up and see how I was playing back into the patterns. Now I’m working to get myself figured out. Just initiated distance and some necessary separation. I’m setting a solid boundary. I’m trusting that opportunities will open up and allowing myself to feel it all. It’s time for me to get out, and stay out.
Same actually, your not alone 🤍
This was my experience moving back home for a bit after college. My personal growth was challenged and stunted and it skyrocketed once I left. Saving $ is no excuse because of how much more you can earn when in an environment in which you thrive.
Luckily for me im not responsible so the saving money thing doesnt relate to me. No need to live at home.
You mean no one becomes poor splitting an apartment with others in a big city?
Amen.
I proudly got kicked out at 14 and now am 38, having never looked back!
How have you survived?!
@@mh0mz you figure it out
Best thing that happened to you
14, teach me your ways?
living with my mother for a year now, and we went through huge shift. i have grown a lot. I'll be moving out in a year also 😍 thanks Tealie 💜
I had to move back in with my mother 7 months ago it's horrible. Sadly I feel stuck because I want to save up enough as to never return before I leave. The environment has led to a deep depression. Omg that explains the feelings of powerlessness j feel and I couldn't figure out whoa.
I recently moved out on my household. I'm 21 and I didn't plan on doing it so early, but things got extremely bad and emotionally abusive at home. But now I have depression and no sense of direction because I was used to my parents controlling me all the time
i did that a while ago and ended up again at home but you are finally free!!! Focus on that
It makes complete sense why your body and mind would want to just rest now, without being controlled or pushed to do something 💗💗💗 she addresses this in one of her workshops where they talk about chronic fatigue.
I’m so happy you were able to get out. How you feel now makes completely sense
Good....I wish I had the resources to move out as early as 14 or 15.🤔🤔
That's awesome @User I'm 23 and still stuck in this horrible jail I cry everyday because of this mental torture I just hope I can move out soon or I'm gonna go insane soon enough i just can't take it anymore I'm so desperate to move out I wish I had help
I feel that living with my parents as an adult has made me a better person. I was abused and neglected at times as a child (I was also very loved and taken care of at times), but as an adult I was able to work through these difficulties little by little. Now my parent and I are on peaceful terms and respect each other’s space. I will move out eventually, but I don’t feel so rushed like I did as a child. If I had left as soon as I turned 18, I would be estranged from my family right now due to all of the pent up anger I had over how I perceived my childhood. But living with my parents as an adult allowed me to see them as people and not just the adults who raised me. I can have compassion and empathy for my parents now, and when I do leave I will remember this time we spent settling our differences and instead of estranging myself, I will keep in contact with them and visit from time to time. You only get one biological family and you can learn a lot about yourself by spending time with the people who birthed you; subconscious things and generational curses. By spending time with my parents, I was able to see what I had in common with them AND what I would like to do differently.
thank you for sharing this, I see how it really allows you to be more aware of yourself of what you'd rather let go, by seeing generational patterns. important point
So if someone wants to move out and is not able to do it right now you can somehow use it to your advantage until you can move out
I second this!! We are lucky. I think a lot of healing can happen in these cases, especially karmically ❤️
Yeah I’m in a similar space with my mum and my step dad, we are in a much better healthier place now. My relationship with my Dad though and my best friends with her mum will almost always just keep hurting us and stopping our personal growth. I wish it was different and I could be in a good place with all my parents but you can’t change people, they change themselves.
That is awesome 😎 I am so happy for your healing and forgiveness. You sound like a very emotionally healthy person yourself. Peace. I feel the same way.
My parents came to live with my 4 children and myself and I helped my Dad look after my Mom(heart)
So over 15 years before they passed. My children and I are so thankful we did this. It gave us a very strong bond with them. They taught us many skills and knowledge. Know it is opposite of what you are discussing. They came to live with me.
thats because youre a lucky exception
@@SaminSays No read what I said again.
My parents came to live with me. Totally different mindset vs kids going to or staying with parents.
And yes I was truly blessed to have my parents live with my children and I.
The dynamics were adult-adult vs parent-child
As a 31 y/o adult, I've been moving in & out of my parent's house for the last 10 yrs since I started working. Whenever I experience failure, I would move back home to "heal my wounds" and start over again. Sometimes it took months to a year. I didn't realize that it has become a pattern already. At first I thought it's okay bec. they're no longer living in that house (they're already based in the province) & I pay all the bills except for the rent. However, now I realize that I should be really on my own. That I could fully trust myself & that I can achieve whatever it is I want.
Don't be hard on yourself, living has gotten really difficult in our time : )
Your timing is amazing as always, Teal. I was literally just in the bathroom thinking about my situation and whether it's really such a good idea to continue living with my mom.
Hey if not lets make a move together !
I'm 33 & my dad lives with me. Since I was 16 I was paying to help my parents. I was the parentified child, & I'm still in that dynamic, but I feel an obligation to take care of my father, as I did before my mom died when I was 26.
It's not a good idea to live with anyone from family if the relationship is and it was disfunctional.
So true
*dysfunctional
Thanks Teal I was considering moving back in this is veryyyy timely.
I definitely don't need to move back in. I have been considering moving back in bc I was feeling incapable of making it in my own. I realized today that I never got the encouragement I needed that I could have and follow my dreams. So I am reparenting my inner child; letting her show she is capable and worthy.
It really is a bad idea for me but my finances don't allow for anything else right now.
That's why young adults can't move out
it's a good thing to remind ourselves our dictatorial government created inflation and devalued OUR money
@@cailax11 100% all of this, meanwhile they can be 80 and running government
@@SaminSays
Presidents don't actually run government, they are simply puppets for the industries (eg. war & pharmaceutical) and hidden elite that control government.
@@cailax11 frrr
In a Teal video she has said to a girl that living with your parents & expecting to heal, is like having been a nazzi camp prisoner & expecting to heal while living with the nazzies!..
Which video was that? Can you please give me the title? I think I watched it some time ago but I can't find it anywhere.
@@ashleym1358 I think it was in th Vancouver sync workshop, when Teal talks with a brown long haired woman who is a singer & wants to know her neg imprint, but I 'm not sure how far into the conversation she mentions that quote, & I can't find part 2, so it' s either somewhere in part 1, or in part 2, which may have been erased.. Sorry I can't remember much, cuz it's been a long time since I've watched :)
@@yvonneshanson1525 Relate to this!
@@TheSapphireLeo ❤️❤️
Couldn't watch this all the way, stopped in the first half. Listening to this makes me angry because of my situation. I know that living with my parents is not the best thing to do, but there are many things that keep me here - from practical to emotional. So now I'm angry at myself for not being good or successful enough to get a full time good-money job, to even make moving out a possibilitty.
Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Maybe someday I will be able to watch this video 'till the end..
There is no shame with living with your parents. Anyone who unironically wants you to feel bad about you is toxic as hell.
I understand you 100%
I get you, I'm feeling angry and frustrated the last couple of days too.
But we have the right to feel this way, I don't want to suppress this anymore.
Still, I believe both you and me are divinely supported so we'll figure it out eventually
Much love to you💫
I feel you. I do. My situation I have no choice. Not sure if that makes it easier or harder. Feels like both. Like playing tug of war with with the rope tied to a tree.
Been there
Left my Parents house when I was 17 years old and that was the best thing I have done! So good to fly with my own wings' freedom, wisdom, and resilience have become part of my character.
In general family will always see you as a child no matter how old you are, and that's not a good thing.
Isn't it crazy!! I mean I can never understand this they still you as though you have a diaper on
Teal, you have helped me since my daughter was a little girl and now she is 20 and today she watched this video and sent it to me. It was GREAT for her to hear your perspective on why it's time for us NOT to live together anymore. It would be the BEST things for BOTH of us.
She told me to watch until the end of the video because she wanted me to know that she is going to do this for me. I am a parent who wants us to live apart now and the guilt about this has been tearing me apart, when it didn't have too. After watching your video, I know that it can be LOVING to want to live apart.
On the OTHER hand,I think it's pretty awesome if/when someone "needs"/"should" go back home and live with their parents for whatever reason,CAN actually do that at no significant harm to their mental, emotional, psychological,spiritual and /or physical well being. ✌️♥️😊
nope
@@novelaego2404so you wouldn't move back ho.e to help a critically ill parent who had no one else?
Yep, yep and yep. Thankfully I was able to move out. 1 month was long enough and I started falling back into habits I grew out of. Thankful for the experience. I learned a lot about the patterns I adopted. Now it's time to move two steps forward! Thanks for the clarity Teal🙂🙏
I love living with my parents. 3 - 6 months a year, then off traveling the globe again! After that I need a refresh to broaden horizons.
But I guess there's a huge difference between being forced to live with parents and coming back of your own volition. I'd never live in an inhospitable environment - I would literally get a cabin in the woods.
How do you manage to travel the world? What do you do for a living? If you don’t mind me asking. I’ve always wanted to do that.
3-6 months i couldnt do it. A week tops lol
@@bassmanoper6659 Well, I have the house free for the next 3 months, they are on holiday. It all depends on how much physical, emotional, and mental space you're allowed to have while living there. If they infringe on any of these, it's time to leave, pronto!
@@danielokeeffe5848 I feel that✌✌🙏
@@lRedBaronl Sorry, TH-cam won't let me reply to you with meaningful content. It's automatically taken down. I had no idea that the sen sor shi_p was this far fetched. No links allowed or no mention of the 'crisis' that we are going through that is resulting in new airlines and travel opportunities.
But I can say that travel is easy. Just go. It will become a paradigm and LOA will do the rest. I'm a freelancer on Upwork that writes for a living, and currently setting up my own website so I can write for myself. Best of luck with your travels!
I have two weeks till I move out living at home strangles my social life and gives me anxiety even when not at home
I am so excited to be self sufficient and live my own life
I didn’t have a choice but to move me and my son back with my parents. It was either my parents or homeless..I went thru a nasty Divorce after 20 years of marriage but my ex husband was abusive and Narcisstic and took my house away from me. I lost everything and had no where to go, I can’t afford to live in my own due to not making enough money to support me and my son. I need my privacy but I need to recover financially first and save money first . I promised and swore to my son I would enroll back in college, graduate from college, etc. for me I had nowhere to go. It was either my parents or homeless. So I made a sacrifice and asked my parents if I could stay with them. Once I get back on feet then I’m moving out for good.🙏
Not to tell you your business, but I would really advise against enrolling in college (severe debt) to earn money. It's been a poor idea for the past 20 years and now is even more dangerous than ever. Hope you get out soon! You'll do it.
Same 💖 May God bless us with the abundance and Prosperity needed to move as soon as possible and provide for our little ones 🏡
@@danielokeeffe5848 what are some things you recommend instead?
It's good that you had the option to live with your parents after such an exhausting ordeal. It's giving you a chance to breathe and regroup and reprogram your mind again. And your parents get to see their grandson every day. As long as the parental relationship isn't off the charts unhealthy, I think it can be a good and even mutually beneficial situation. You get to heal and also practice setting boundaries again in a safe environment, which is so important after a relationship that leaves you questioning your own sanity and personhood. Best of luck to you. I hope you love school and can make a new lovely life for yourself 😘
@@summersalix Well, I work as a freelancer on UpWork (primarily
). But there are thousands of ways to make money and all different kinds of jobs. Really, I recommend Resonance and the Law of Attraction. It's the Golden Ticket. If you focus on enough money, you will have enough money. If you focus on moving house, you will move house. If you focus on travel. You will travel. It's a universal law.
Making money though University is so 20th century and slow. 8 years minimum to break even? Why not make money immediately?
Peace! ✌️
Wow.
As soon as I saw the title and I clicked. one
I KNOW that this is a huge problem for me! To acknowledge this in my community is considered blasphemous.
This was so on time and so important.
You absolutely nailed this.Clearly you know my parent- and my family. I once said to my therapist- how can I heal on the very environment that caused me pain. Every single point resonates. This was incredibly validating.
I had to move back in 2020 and finally getting the hell out . It was hell on earth , but I did a lot of childhood healing and I’m a better person lol
Reading the comments, it seems like a lot of people are offended and think that Teal is telling them what to do and ignoring the fact that some people have no other option. I don't think that's the case. This video isn't for everyone that's living with their parents...it's for those that are in this situation, experiencing problems and unsure of the reasons why. As with most of Teal's videos, this one is to put the experience into words and explain how situations might become what they are. If you're taking this video as a personal insult and feeling commanded by it, she's made her point.
I was going to say the same thing. Seems like some people didn't even watch the video or came in with preconceived notions.
I agree. I get the reaction, I think it's coming from a place of feeling trapped and I used to be defensive like that too, before I realized I didn't have to justify my feelings. Moreover, I didn't want to admit I was using this belief of victimization and helplessness to avoid my own responsibility, to avoid facing my fears, to feel important, and to maintain my denial that the strategies I was using in life were working when they were terrible. I accepted I deserved to get what I wanted to it was okay to abandon those strategies, because they're not me, they're something I'm doing.
It was a deeply painful realization and I can see why people are getting reactive--not everyone is ready to face the immense grief of knowing they may have contributed to past or present circumstances. This doesn't mean it's your fault, it just means it is possible you could have done different things to a different end, you can't always in the moment and that's normal--what is true is you can always look back after and say, "What have I learned from this? How can I improve?" The great thing is, once you realize your contribution, it gives you the power to do different and therefore leave those patterns, and actually get a sense of competency, control, and worth. But most people can't admit it so they insist they are victims instead, not knowing they are ensuring they will never be free of this "curse" by refusing to learn lessons from what has happened to them.
@@inthenebula92 precisely! I didn't put near as much effort into my comment but my point was that being triggered by the video proves Teal's point
@@inthenebula92 I feel this!! If I would have seen this video a few months ago I would have been filled with rage. But since I have already realized these things and started to take initiative, I found it to be more of a validation of these truths I have been feeling. It is horrible to feel trapped. But we are not trapped! As long as we have ownership of our minds we can find a way to freedom. (In most circumstances) I will not be controlled or manipulated. As soon as I started to set boundaries and take care of myself my mom wanted me to be on psychiatric medication. And I did use it as a tool but that was my choice. Now I finally have found a house to move to that will be my own! And it was only when I realized I deserved it and felt worthy of it and used all of my anger as fuel to move me forward that everything aligned with this new opportunity. I don't blame my mom for these patterns- like teal said I feel like it is just as detrimental to her growth for us to regress into old patterns.
I love how the length of the video is 20:20 because it sure helped me see things clearly
So weird you posted this video now because a huge chunk of my depression comes from still living with my parents. I’m only here because financially I can’t afford to live on my own. I’m grateful to have a roof over my head but healing childhood trauma and having the dynamics I do with my parents is soul crushing. I just don’t know what to it to be able to afford my own space. I really need a miracle soon because I’m breaking.
Realizing your environment is bad for you = waking up from the Matrix
Teal has a point, and yes this does not apply to everyone.
I am blessed to be part of what teal has mentioned in the first part of this video "extremely rare parents" .
They are the kind who are respectful, supportive, kind and who knows their part in a child's life which is to be a friend and to be a good steward. I have finished university with no student loan because in our culture it is important for parents to be there for their child until we can fully stand on our own. It is their pride and happiness to be able to share those moments with us. They just want what's best for us nothing more nothing less.
Living with them would definitely be a blessing and an opportunity to be able to spend time and be there for them in the remaining years of their lives, and make wonderful memories hopefully with their grand kids. It would be great if my kids would experience the uncinditional love that their grand parents have.
If there's one thing I could offer them is the time to be there for them when their knees gets weak, when they don't have the energy to do things as they normally would.
As long as you know your strength, you know your capabilities other people's opinion on how to live your life or what's the ideal thing to do does not matter anymore because everyone has a different perception of life and how it should be.
Life is short to focus totally on being independent, or being able to prove to the world that you can fly high. It's also about how you treat other people, specially your parents who were there for you one way or another .
Life is a case to case basis. Don't be afraid of peoples judgment, don't follow other people's ideology, always live your life your terms. Because in the end you know what's best for you in a given circumstance, don't let pride and other people's opinion affect you even if you end up on the streets. You have to know your truth and you have to learn how to appreciate your parents no matter what stage you are in your life, specially if your parents did the best they could to be good ones.
As long as you are not hurting anyone or violating others then just do what you think is best for you. No judgment! ✌❤
Thank you Teal. I moved back home to help other family members and myself. However I see that I have gone back into my old servant caretaking role. Thank you for your clarity💜🙏
If people could move out of their parents' home they would. Just saying. Consider that a lot of us left and had to come back due to unforseen circumstances. Makes living with your parents feel very different and definitely not in a good way.
True... Let's not make it a big issue agh.
It's a bigger issue now than ever before it seems. My uncle lived my grandmother after he got married for a year to save money...then they bought a house. The problem is now millennials could never save up that kind of money in a year. Maybe 10 years. lol
@@theetherealartist-yoshi On the contrary. I think it's good when a video triggers people. Means there's hurt they have to work on. It just sort of feels like this didn't have a target audience in mind. A good number of people who watch Teal are adults who are way past this is what I'm trying to get at.
@@stitches318 That's true. And that's if it's a couple. A single person trying to make it on their own like that has to be very bright with numbers. I'm not saying it can't be done but it's a walk in the woods for sure.
A lot of people have limiting beliefs and delusions about thinking they can't move out, when they actually can, if they looked for a way.
Is this video intended to be a mind trick? People who live with their parents are largely already FULL of resistance and shame about this. Maybe the sting that is felt in this is exactly the thing to trigger a response of looking at why it actually has been expansive or how it can start to be. Or a trigger to look deeper at the fear and self-doubt that paralyzes and prevents moving on. This is a painful and complex subject, and I wish everyone the best on this, both for your personal power and interpersonal connection.
This is a very painful subject for me as my mother still lives with me and I’m age 35:( read my comment above and my story
yep, totally not spiritual, helpful or inspiring. Its just a judgment and some psychological dynamic observations for SOME.
@Laura Hackstein maybe you should ask yourself why you would not and you might find your answer if suffering or empathy is difficult for you.
I felt that same sentiment as well. I felt it was deliberately triggering to get people to question the shame associated with this topic
@Laura Hackstein loaded question my dear. Shameful mainly because of the expectations I have of myself being the age that I am and in the current life circumstances that I am in. Also the programming of society that teaches at such and such an age one needs to have their life figured out to a certain extent; ie. Own place, partner and or family, career, vehicle. Etc. And if you don't have all or one of the above at the age Society deems approptiate, there is something very wrong with you. See, society teaches us to be ashamed. And its up to us to undo all of that programming, unlearn those things that do not serve us and cultivate healing from within.
What Teal Swan doesn't understand is that most people who are living with their parents would NOT have wanted to live with their parents in the first place, and that the only reason why they are still living with their parents in the first place is because rent and other expenses are too high and it's really difficult to find a job, and that if the economy was a lot better then most people would NOT have chosen to live with their parents in the first place. Therefore the only reason why they're still living with their parents is because they have no other choice, NOT because they want to.
Very timely! I just had my mom move up with me. So far it’s been pretty good. I haven’t lived with her in over 10 years so she’s going to have to get to know me as an adult now. And I want her to live her best life
You are absolutely correct in Your analysis and diagnosis, Goddess Teal. However, there aren't a lot of opportunities on the outside either. Not everything is reducible to an individual's psychological motivation, especially during times of chronic sociological dysfunction and collapse. Praise You.
True. So just be aware of the psychological aspects, right?
This video couldn’t come soon enough!!! I’ve been explaining to my therapist all these concepts for years, and have been trying to get assistance to move out, but it’s so normalized to live with parents because of the global economy, that people, even those in power to help make the change, just don’t see the intense gravity of the situation people who were abused so badly by their parents are in as adults!
Yep.
I’m Indian who grew up in the US n Canada later they moved to India. Hated living with my mom. Thanks for saying that. I’m back in Canada after fourteen years. Woo woo!
I'm 35 and still living with my parents. All of this is true
Truth……. The last year I’ve lived with my brother and it’s given me the clarity of knowing it’s easier for me to appreciate my family from far away, and the key for success
🌞💛🙏
I live with my parents, am building a new home so my parents can move in with me. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It may not be for everyone but it’s my choice and I’m so happy with my decision. I love my parents.
nope
Wow, Teal, at this point i feel like you are always there for me when i need you, without even knowing each other personally. It is a very nice feeling and thank you for that. ❤️
I am one of those adults who faced some difficulties in moving out from their parents home (due to financial difficulties, i lived with my mother up until my mid 20’s).
Now in my early 30s and in a much, much better place, i find that my husband wants to invite both our parents (only my mother and his father are still alive, we share that experience of losing our other parent while we were in college) to live with us. To this, i had an almoust violent reaction; i even said, without even realising, that i would better have a break up then live with parents again. Needless to say, he was shocked and he doesn’t understand why i would go to that extreme. My relationship with both my parents was pretty good, i never experienced major trauma and we love each other, but they both were and my mother stil is controlling and possesive.
My husband said that if i’m not on board with it he will not even open the subject again, but he doesn’t really understand where i’m coming from (i tried to explain, but he doesn’t really understand) and to be honest, i don’t understand where he is coming from with this idea all of the sudden. ( I know it is related to the fact that he lost his mother early on, and while i share that experince of losing my father early, i do not feel the need to move back in with them. I mean, i wish we could visit more often and spend more time together and this pandemic has surely not helped with that, but i would never go that far into moving back out of my own will.
Anyway, this video helped a lot and you really answered some of my questions. 🤗
My parents are disabled, I live with and support them, also I dont make much. I can't stand it. I resent them, and I feel terrible for feeling that way.
I couldn’t have asked for a more appropriately timed video… Moved out yesterday! Thank you for validating my reasons Teal 🙏💜
I was literally thinking about this and this video popped up! Divine timing. I'm moving out on Monday, I've decided!
with all kindness, respect, and curiosity because im in the same boat, how did you do it? like affording it financially? please, any advice would be appreciated!!
Omg same for me too!
I generally can't afford financially, but I feel other opportunities will emerge as I have older friends who are willing to put me up for a while.....
@@SaminSays a room with other roommates is like 250 euros. I can do it with a part-time job
This is why I broke free at 19…at last. My folks were using me for their livelihood. Family dynamics and dysfunction are huge! Teal is so right!
So happy for you.
Congratulations 🎉
I am from India and I can attest that these things are cent per cent correct. The degree may vary in different households but it does happen and we are taught to accept them as normal. That's why we need healing. I healed from this pain and I am in love with my life.
I waited a month before I could watch this. I've lived with my folks since 2015 and the last couple of years I've known I need to do it. Every time I thought about it and would express it to people, they would encourage me to stay, that they wished they lived with their parents. But not standing on my own two feet has taken away my confidence and leaves me feeling powerless. Basically everything TEAL said, its true. I am setting a 6 month plan to move out, my parents agree. I will find the resources I need to make this successful, though I know it will be tough and that scares me, but I will survive. I'm ready.
I've had to distance myself from the house now because my father is an alcoholic but I do try to stay and help out when I can. It's painful because they are now getting quite old and I would love to stay more but if I spend any amount of time under that roof it gets claustrophobic. I now stay at my flat and travel back to chill with them for a bit and then come back sooner to keep myself safe. But I'm lucky that I have that luxury. I'm so glad I have a flat that I can go to. For people who don't have a place to go and are struggling, I know how it feels! Things will work out in the end 💙
Hang in there hon! Mine r getting old too & it causes a lot of sadness & guilt, but I try to remember they chose their own misery, which ruined my life too, so.. but it is truly a tough situation.. :)
Healing your relationship with your parents.
Hey, how did you work on getting your own flat ? I just moved out from my parents around a year ago 😊
Wow! I just had something happen with a toxic parent who just threatened me after putting a boundary in place and you upload this video exactly when I needed it. Thank you so much 🙏 they say things come to you when you ask the universe and let go of the outcomes 💕
What are you talking about. So if I jumped off a cliff will the universe save me 😂
@@petehotton4740 nooo not that. Please dont do that 💕 I would never wish that on anyone. What I mean is for example, I've been in a toxic situation for 19+ years since I was 4 years old. I'm now 23 years old and still in it. It's not as bad as it used to be but it's still damaging and I've been asking "what do I need to do? When will I ever be able to get out of here without any housing available? What can I do to cope when I've reached the end of my tolerance point?" And then I let go of any expectations and forgot about the questions until 15 minutes later Teal uploaded this video which is exactly what I needed and answered my call
@@Space_Princess sorry I didn't mean to alarm you I just wondering 😮🙂
@@Space_Princess NINETEEN YEARS
@@petehotton4740 it's okay 💕 and yes, 19 years, sadly :/ but things are looking better now
Damm yes I went abroad for studying and when I’m back and couldn’t get a job for a while and when I got a job it was through their connections so….. I’m still this powerless child? anyways workplace so toxic and resemble relationships at home actually so I just left the job and had a major reflection and this is what I needed to hear and take actins toward. It was kinda beneficial for me to be back with parents because now I understand my triggers and my own toxic behavior more and work through my own traumas and inner child. Now i just hope to get the hell out of here !!!!!! Environment does play a major impact. God/universe bless
It’s one of the number one things I hate about my life right now. My situation keeps me right here with never enough money to move out today but if I did I’d be living alone, all day every day. Sure I’d be independent and be able to freely do what I want but I’d surely be all alone too as I don’t actually have friends except for maybe my brother who I haven’t seen since April. I think there’s a reason it hasn’t worked out for me the way it did for my siblings
I am literally exactly the same in this. Meaning my situation. Praying for us… 🤍🥺🙏🏻
Hang in there bud I feel ya
Our parents thrust us into this vile world for the sole purpose of ego satisfaction. Living with them should be minimized as much as possible in spite of the ever dwindling economic opportunity we have in the wonderful society that we're forced to depend upon. Sleeping in a truck (in the sleeper) is infinitely better than living at home.
Yeah if you're a man or Masculine woman 😂
I agree cept for your anger be graterful they brought youn into this hell😎
The amount of helpful information I get from your videos is crazy.. especially compared to my psychologist.. like the comprehension of things is on another level with you 🙌🏻 Thank you
All points are valid. A counterpoint I would add is that context is important & not every adult who lives with their parents are preventing their success/growth by doing so. In situations where an adult isn't mentally/emotionally stable enough to live on their own, living with their parents can actually save their life. I speak from personal experience. If my mother were to kick me out about a year or two ago at the height of my suicidal period I promise you I'd be dead by now. Ofc my relationship with my mother comes with trauma as does ANY & every relationship but for that time it truly caused more good than harm.
She gave that caveat at the beginning of the video 🙄
I resisted watching this video right away because it is my painful reality. I tried everything in my power to never go back, but I could not find stable job. I also had to heal physically from terrible fall. Covid made things worst because most of use are back living with our abusive parent. It is extremely toxic, and I am feeling powerless and defeated more and more everyday. I do not know what to do at this point except applying for jobs and doing shadow work.
sorry to hear that. stay strong and never give up. easier said than done but you have to keep trying. good luck.
@@sanitary103 Thank you for your kind words and encouragement
Take your power back
I lived with my folks for almost throughout my entire 20s, I'm now 30 and it was only just last year during the Covid Lockdown(s) I was still unemployed and could barely get a job to thrive or even accumulate enough money to be able to move out. Luckily my folks did help me move into my own apartment where I now lead a life of independance and I have a job where I can make a decent amount of money to get by. I finally feel like an adult, without any of the limitations of having "extended adolesence" had on me, especially when doing the chores and letting them know when I'll be out or back in time. I still get to visit them every now and then, but it's not like I miss living with them (maybe part of me does), I still maintain a great relationship with my family, I'm just glad to be my own person now, since I knew change had to happen. Even if I do move back, I can only hope it'll be temporary and I'll be able to support myself for the rest of my life.
Best decision ever! It's such a relief to know that you don't owe them explanation for your whereabouts and when to go back home. Besides, you always make decisions on what to have for lunch or dinner and such.
I love how you precisely break everything down!
Perfect timing again Teal! I had thought about living with my mom again to save money but I’ve been thinking it’s such a terrible idea because I don’t wanna have to repeat cycles. I already have codependency issues and I moved back in with my mom after my first divorce. I feel like it re-traumatized me and it took way more healing than it would have if I had been able to break my codependent nature sooner.
I moved back in with my mom when the whole Covid saga started. Legit when I live with her I'm healthier, more grounded and more open-minded. She actually encourages me to expand, be my best self, not get stuck or limited, and is the most wonderful compassionate person to live with. She has also really grown throughout the years... completely different person when compared to my younger years. At first when I clicked on this video I was worried it would highlight my blind spots or something wrong, but I've only just become more grateful 🙏
I hear you Teal. I wound up on way too hardcore of an expansion path that deconstructed who I was as a human being, I lost all my stability within myself and actually wound up overdosed/lucky to be alive in the hospital more times than I'd like to count (that addiction escalated quickly). So now I'm at a point where I'm dependent on my environment for stability as commitment to the slow n steady, consistent steps to prune off self destructive patterns..aka living with my mom chapter. But I feel like I can't even dream..its like now all my ambitions are cut into a quarter/need to be realistic/stable..cuz my mom's need to firmly try to keep me safe is in def overdrive. I guess the way to go about this is to give myself a timeline to move out (already was the plan, but the relapses that landed me in a hospital every time kept setting me back)
all this to say...I hear you and I feel you..its not a fun spot but sometimes you gotta do it if you can. If its the difference between you having a good shot at staying alive or not for ex)
Something about living with the current older generation seems more triggering than ever before. They are all huge control freaks. When I finally moved out of my mom's house, I got an upstairs neighbor (a boomer) who basically took my mom's place. she complains about everything, monitors every little thing I do, from putting out bird feeders, to not taking in my packages quick enough, to yelling at my kid when he is playing quietly in the yard (he was pulling on a tree branch. she looked out the window and didn't like that). Now I have to move to get away from my neighbor!
Omg yes thts how my.grandma is would wash and go thru my stuff when.i m at their house for a short while
My grandmother is the same! She even passes comments about waking up early and doing things their way, its annoying honestly
So true. Honestly the older generations, boomers and some Gen Xers, are just such narcissists. It's crazy.
@@kristenstewart1250 No, it's boomers, not the gen xers. Many boomers, especially the older Appalachian/country ones are quite negative and nosey, always talking trash about others and wondering why the neighbors haven't gone to work today, etc.
This is fascinating and enlightening. I’ve always felt that when i visit my family, and i thought it was just me. My friends always say that they love go and visit their families and i feel like an outsider. Idk, every time that i have to go i feel anxious and when i get home i feel drained
Same you are not alone and most people are in denial or lie
same
I’ve lived all over the US,, appeared to be successful, “happy”, but I was actually soo sad,, just trying to keep up. I’m living with my mom right now and it’s been great for my mental health.. I feel like I’m getting a new start, and I’m actually realizing what my purpose is by slowing down.
Don’t be afraid to “start over” ... 🤍
Isn't it interesting that because of the whole scamdemic and economic inflation so many young people can't afford to move out or they are having to move back home with their parents?
It's like the universe is forcing us to heal our family wounds.
Great video!
INSANE. YOU UPLOADED IT RIGHT WHEN I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
Thank you for this video Teal. The truth may hurt, but it needs to be said in order for us to grow... Now please give us a Part 2- HOW do we begin to get past this toxic stagnation and move out on our own?
July 2020, I moved back in with my mom after living far away for a year. She was in danger of hurting herself after a divorce. December through March I was back and forth, and this June I was with her most of the month to help her settle into a new home. I’ll tell you, we’re not talking at the moment. It was very destructive for me, but I don’t regret it because it helped her gain some footing. I don’t have a relationship with my father either at this point. Over two years ago, I moved far away from them at 22 because of ongoing abuse that I couldn’t even escape during college. Having a separation from them is hard but the best decision I’ve ever made. Now I’m free to do whatever I want in life.
The next video should be "Why working for a minimum wage job is a bad idea." Because it seems like you move out of your bad home environment to spending most of your time at a job that feels terrible to be at just so you can afford to live away from your parents. Capitalism sort of sucks. Handsome rich men hmu.
Good point.
Hahahahaha this comment! 🙌🏻
Thank you!
3rd video: "Why to be homeless is a bad idea."
...
4th video: "How to get back to your parents home."
....
Circle is closed.
literally. You run away from your toxic family only to have to spend all your time at a toxic job
Omg, u are so right about the self help people (even the good ones), they keep saying that u can do it alone, that it doesn't matter what's happening outside of u. It's the inside which matters.
And I just couldn't see it work in my life.
Thank you Teal💛💛💛 this is so damn relevant for me. right now more than ever. I know I need to move (I’m 31 and have felt the calling since I was 16! Maybe even earlier) but it’s so difficult to face because of the enmeshment and codependency especially now when the world feels more unsafe.
I was just thinking about the effects living with my parents has on me and then you drop this video, perfect timing.
I don't know if I should leave or not. Financially, I was in a terrible place last year. Now, I'm more stable, but one of the them has a neurological disease, and I can work from home. I want to move out again more than anything, but that loved one cannot look after themselves.
Hi there, well i don't think anyone in here could make the decision for you 😊 but i could share my perspective from my own experience
I left my parents house around a year ago, luckily my life is more peaceful, and i could even start to heal from my emotional burnout.. but i did realize that the reason why i could move forward in peace and even move forward with no regret, it's because i already reach the point of "i just can't take it anymore" with my parents when i made that decision.
So i believe that only we can decide for ourselves, whether it's better to stay or leave 😊
If you won't do it someone else will.... It doesn't have to be you....Your happiness matters more.. They'll find a solution......
Teal i moved out at 29 and i felt amazing but my mother started to have anxiety abt me not living home and her health was declining. It guilted me into moving back home. And i feel completely powerless in my adulthood
😮 that’s insane! You are your own person, she needs to let you go!
If you pay parents for room - its not all. Its parents control also. So be tough - live by your own
I’ve been feeling the need to leave. I love them, but I think it’s time
6:45 oh teal you hit the nail on the head with the codependent helper and the dishes😂😂😂😂😂👌lovely mate
HOW DO YOU GET OUT AND STAY OUT, HAPPILY??? I think all of us in the comments already feel shamed, judged + trapped. It would be very helpful to have a video on how to disentangle from these energetic chains keeping us w/our parents. Especially with more “subtle” abuse involved. I did appreciate this video though. Very timely.
I just moved back in with them about 2 weeks ago. So far it's going good but I'm afraid of it turning like this. Thankfully I have a plan of moving out in a couple of months once I stack up enough cash.
I relate to this and I immediately clicked when I saw the title 😂 I want to move out but my mom is not a bad parent and we don't have extreme unhealthy dynamics but I feel I have no life beyond my family and I feel stuck. Due to having financial problems and a messy divorce between my parents I have developed a habit of sort of parenting her and being there for her, its kind of hard wired and I don't know how to be myself. I was listening to Abraham Hicks and then your video popped up, its so in sync to what I have been asking the Universe! I just wish I have enough financial independence to move out, which currently I don't 😞 I'm ready to expand beyond my current reality! 🌞 Thank you 💖
This was good, but please also do a video about Why Living at Home with Your Parents Might not be the Worst Thing in the World. Those of us who are in circumstances that we can't change in the short-term -- and yes, there are such circumstances, it's not always a matter of sheer will or stunted growth or dreadfully unhealthy family relationships -- have a lot of conflict over the issue and get messages from all around that it's completely abnormal to live with your parents again as an adult, no matter how temporary or special the circumstances or how much prior independent adult growth you've had. There is something to be said about being in that situation and actually re-formulating your relationship with your parents in the sense of using boundaries and being your true self in a way that you never were before. You did mention here and there that it could be ok but it's rare, but please make an episode of how it can be not so bad, and/or tips while you're in the situation. Thank you.
Always use this environment to lunch your own life. Whether good or bad. A POSITIVE video will only reinforce patterns for people to not take responsibility and accountability of experiencing their own journey whether they come from healthy or unhealthy circumstances. Bless UP
Launch****
@@krownofficial6246 I see your point but don't think it's always true. A positive message about something can serve to validate a person's often-invalidated experience and inform others about it.
For example:
Up until about 15 or so years ago, no one was talking about the ok-ness let alone the merits of being an introvert. Before then, you were considered shy, socially inept, and kind of a weirdo.
And so those first early articles and videos and books and TED talks about it were sending a positive message -- to the public and to introverts themselves -- that the gold standard for a well-adjusted person should not have extroversion as the only option, because many, many people are not extroverts, and that's not only perfectly ok and the way it should be, it's the way society should *want* it to be.
So that's a positive message in support of people with a certain type of behavior or characteristic that in the moment might not have seemed positive to a lot of people. Imagine an introverted teenager whose parents are always criticising them, telling them they need to change their ways if they want people to like them and if they want to be successful in life. Now imagine the parents seeing Susan Cain's 2012 TED talk, "The power of introverts." The parents would probably think it was bs and reinforcing a negative behavior, and that it was encouraging their kid to not change what was in their eyes a terrible way of being. Fast-forward 10 years, and the talk has now been viewed 32 million times and translated into dozens of languages, and MS. Cain's books are consistently best sellers. Introversion was clearly a conversation waiting to happen, and scores of people have benefited by its having been finally cast in a positive light.
There are many, many examples of this, where drawing positive attention to what's been typically thought of as a negative thing has shown that very few things in this world are black and white, and that it's important to try to understand other people's experiences, and important for people to know that their own experiences aren't necessarily wrong, even if they're considered as such by the general public.
@@camez2345 peace and BLESSINGS. much LOVE
I love my parents, but our personalities- especially me and my mom- were completely incompatible. Moving out helped us both out so much.