Be Consciously Transactional. Why Every Relationship is Transactional
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2021
- Be Consciously Transactional. Why Every Relationship is Transactional
Today, I’m going to take you way out on a limb by challenging one of the beliefs that current society holds most dear. I ask you to proceed with a very open mind. Because changing the perspective you hold about this, has the capacity to positively overhaul your life.
Full Article here ⟶ tealswan.com/resources/articl...
Five FREE Guided Meditations by Teal to Support Your Journey:
╰ Get Instant Access: www.tealswan.net/gift
Get Support on your Journey with Teal's Spiritual Tools, Frequencies, Meditations and More:
╰ Official Shop click here: tealswan.vip/Shop
Dive Deeper and Access ALL of Teal's Exclusive Content, Daily Updates, Workshop Replays & More:
╰ Premium Content click here: tealswan.vip/Premium
Video Preferences:
The Lie that Parents Tell: 4:07
• The Lie That Parents Tell
The Truth and Myth of Unconditional Love: 13:30
• The Truth and The Myth...
The Value Realization: 15:53
• The Value Realization ...
#lawofattraction #spirituality #awakening
If you are in a crisis or if you or any other person may be feeling suicidal or in danger, the following
resources can provide you with immediate help: tealswan.vip/Help
Beginning Song:
Alchemy - Blake Dyer
www.sundyer.com
Ending Song
Our Game - Yaima
spoti.fi/35ZR6JY
Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.
Follow Teal Swan:
╰ / tealswanofficial
╰ / tealswanofficial
╰ tealswan.com
I just quit my job lmao and went home.i found your video talking about opening a book and finding a message , so i did that and i found money that i forgot i put there! That made my day and you just posted a video 🤣
@@charlottesometimes4 It's a workshop i found randomly on TikTok !
And wow teal's channel liked my comment i wish I can meet her one day i have a lot to say and ask 💖
Lol. Much love to you
What video was this on the book?
What a day!
18:26-19:07 A person wants to end a relationship with you has nothing to do with your value, but ‘their needs not being met’.
Thanks for watching.
Comments really appreciated.
Make a note to Robert Thompson regarding B~T~C/ETH investment ideas:::
Tell him I referred you to him 🚀🚀
Thank you.
I loved this, i am that type of person who takes everything personal. My mom told me to always be unconditional with the people that i love, and i grew up feeling ALWAYS that people used me. Im learning now, at 34, that everything in life needs to be balanced.
The fact that you felt you deserved more means you wanted something in return which means your love was waning from the lack of receiving from your partner. Why would you expect more from that person? Because you were going off the conditions of a transaction. There's no unconditional love as far as I'm concerned.
This was my story too! I was taught so many religious beliefs that have very little to do with reality. Relearning has been a beautiful journey, and Teal Swan has accelerated my progress!
People are using you if you feel used. It has more to do with your level of confidence and how you approach situations. If you’re always giving then people will take. The majority of the time that is not love and it surely isn’t unconditional. It’s purely transactional with a level of tolerance. You have to realize that you have been conditioned to behave in a particular way from a young age that also translates into how you love yourself. Unconditional love is only possible when the love you have for yourself is also unconditional. The love you have for others can only be a reflection of the love you have for yourself.
In the end unconditional love is entirely possible and achievable. You just have to understand that everyone around you loves differently. To expect everything to be purely transactional is ridiculous and you are forgetting and disallowing yourself the ability to acknowledge every time you have truly loved and wanted nothing in return. It’s a limitation on the mind and you start to place conditions on yourself for your own self love.
What you need to learn is that you can’t love people who are making you feel used because your always cautious around them. You’re always analyzing and limiting yourself or trying too hard to get the attention you want. It becomes a transaction that eats away at you.
Sometimes the best transaction you can make is saying goodbye. It’s so hard to say goodbye to bad thoughts about ourselves, bad habits we don’t like, emotional baggage. So saying goodbye to people is just as hard.
@@keithvowell9687 so true, same happened to me
Regarding unconditional love....I heard a good nugget...don't! Bc it allows people to walk on u. So require some standard or some condition. It stuck w me
Teal, you should create a personality test that helps people find out what they have to offer in a relationship, and what they're not willing to give. It could help many of us to decide more consciously who we will engage with or not
Brilliant suggestion...I totally agree.
Omg yes please!
I was just thinking that's why I can't find a job that I'm more happy with.
Idk what I want or what i have to offer
Id say take a Mbit tror, 16 personality i think its called. It goes deep and explains a lot...
love that
It's exhausting being consciously transactional in an unconsciously transactional world.
there is somethign to be said for giving without expecting
Underrated comment!!!
I absolutely agree with this . I believe that we are always co-creation with others. Especially when you start to unconditionally love yourself , you start to see more that every single connection we are in , is an opportunity for an energy exchange. The Truth is that when we are in connection with someone, we in a way are in connection with ourselves , and I believe it's so important to honour OURSELVES and the OTHER as much as possible when you're in connection with someone . This DOESN'T mean that you have to CONNECT with EVERY SINGLE person, in FACT quite the opposite. You're ALLOWED to have PREFERENCES , and not RESONATE with certain individuals depending on what YOU personally want . This doesn't mean to come from JUDGMENT or RESISTANCE, but FROM that place of unconditional love, to honour both parties and see that everything is an energy exchange. Great video Teal ! Much Love 🙏
I absolutely agree with this. When I worked in behavioral health with children, we were told that for every one negative consequence the kids needed eight positive reinforcements so as not to be demotivated or lose trust in staff. I think this applies to all relationships to keep them from “going into the red,” so to speak.
After hearing the opening line I'm like: oooh this is going to be good! 😂😂😂
Well yeah, you gotta give to get. You won't stay with someone, if you aren't getting your needs & wants met to a certain degree of satisfaction
Finally. I’ve found the best description of how I’ve always viewed relationships, entered into them and exited them. Love without acknowledging the transaction is doomed. Unfortunately, the need for sex is about as far as most people go into the concept of relationships being transactional. Not me. I want more. Sex, sure, but so much more. It’s a wonderful thing to have known this for most, if not all of my life. Thank you, Teal.
@Michael Turnbull I totally agree with you. I've always found how limited are human transactions when focusing on sex mostly. To me, it is a poor transaction because they are so many other things we can exchange with each other !
I like to use 'fair exchange' instead of 'transactional', or 'equal exchange'. It's not the same as exchanging the same things, values or virtues because if it were the case, everybody would be alone (in relationships with themselves) but we are in relationships with people who have something we don't have but we want and we have something they don't have and want.
Nice, I'm going to do this with all my relationships now. Very clear, and I don't think I was consciously ever doing it.
Do what specifically?
Ding ding ding! "Stay with me no matter how I act, no matter if I dont want you to work or pay Bill's, never ever question me, never ever tell me no because that's unconditional love. Unconditional love just let's you do anything you want and stays." Aaaagggghhhh!!! Theres my trigger dearest one. I can not stand that mentality. It's why I cling to your video about how unconditional acceptance is not unconditional love! This leads to abuse and narcissistim!
Just a suggestion: You should include more hashtags on the psychology side, as comparatively more people search for those.
Interesting
Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/transactional/
Not the meditation videos but I’m loving those. More on how to get in touch with self, zen
I’m glad I’m already at the conscious level of having understood this Information, but I kinda like to reaffirm my beliefs, and I like Teal’s perspective on things, always :)
Heres are some important keys I got:
Non conscious transactions =
manipulation.
The transactional part of a relationship is the valuing part!
To love something or someone means you want for it to get its needs and wants met.
quite frankly its abusive to want someone to stay with you no matter if their needs are met or not (and often this is acted out in specifically not meeting that person's needs and then you get them to stay anyway despite starving them and so the person thinks "i won! this person really loves me no matter what!"(no matter how little i give them) which very much ends up abusive
If your needs aren't met, you make this known so the other party can learn and grow to meet them better in the future. People aren't all knowing, we should strive to be better partners every day.
It is abuse to believe your partner should read your mind, but of course if the other party doesnt want to grow then the situation is as you describe.
My mind is blown
@jon smith to me thats swinging the other way too hard and being despaired. i refuse to live my life that way
I'm grateful you have shared with us this brilliant truth 🙏
@jon smith bro thats the issue im hitting at. not everyone wants to 'discard'. thats all.
Marital vows are 100% transactional. You’re agreeing to terms when you “vow” to comply.
Interesting point of view
Why do we say in sickness and in health and for richer or for poorer if part of our conditions for the relationship requires wealth and health? Maybe that part of the vow shouldn’t be included
@@redbird-xu9sz among other things like love, honor and obey.
But you vow to love
The only condition is to love each other and stand by each other. If there is no love then why marry and the condition of love isn't impure. If you want to be a monk then cool, but if you want normal relationship then this condition is important.
Thank you so much Teal Swan. This has come with impeccable timing when my sons mother decided to end our engagement. I was beating myself wondering and getting resentful towards her. Today I just realised I have to let her go because I now realised her needs and I am not willing to provide for those even though I love her... We are different people. Thanks Teal ❤
This is beautiful. I pray this realization helps you heal and ultimately find the person that is your vibrational match. 🙏🏽❤
Where was God distracted when they let you reproduce 🤢🤢🤢
This video was right on time especially for us who work in the mental health field. I'm having the hardest time teaching my clients about this concepts.
What resistance or trouble are you noting? How to improve?
@@405OKCShiningOn often times it's the unconscious defense mechanisms how I help improve it is identifying problematic behavior patterns.
What issue is she talking about? It doesn’t make any sense at all to me
@@ADAMSIVES Having your needs met in a relationship.
Teal, you always talk about these topics at the exact time that I need to hear them.
Yup she has a knack for that!!! ;) :)
Thanks for saying this. It’s true, everything is an exchange of value
This feels to me like a natural continuation of your Masculine containment video, which I have now watched three times and forwarded to so many people. Once I as a man knows my containment valuel, I am more secure in what I have to offer and what I really want from a relationship. Thanks so much Teal. These videos have been exactly what I needed at this time. Sending love.
I'm so thankful for this video today. I'm doing my best to focus on transactional relationships and improving how I communicate with others etc and needed a video today about how to be more consciously transactional 🥰
I can’t believe how much I’m on the same frequency with you Teal! A few weeks ago I broke up with someone after a year of unfulfilled dating. He claimed that he was looking for love but he wasn’t taking any steps for it! I told him you’re like someone who says I want to be rich but he’s lazy and don’t do nothing ! I asked him whether you accept such a person as your business partner?!! (We’re both entrepreneurs)! He said but love is different ! I said love is exactly the same, even more delicate ! I broke up with him and although I really liked him, I convinced myself that I prevented a bad partnership!
Actually I felt a little bad about myself...that why I compared our relationship with business ! But now hearing you...I’m proud of myself ! 😄
EXACTLY the topic which i'm struggling with and had discussions about with someone, thank you for this video Teal!
I’m having a hard time accepting this, but I do agree with it. My relationship recently ended because we were not meeting each other’s needs, unconsciously. How do I move on from this?! I still love him and care for him. 😭🥺😭🥺
Find someone else (It's the only way)
@@1bigdogthe I’m actually in a much better place today than 2 years ago! Time heals all wounds. 💜
@WamsyAmsy did you find someone else?
@@Alex-bl8uhnot yet. My standards are different today. 😊
I just lost my best mate (hes walked away from me) because ive been going through a really (and I mean REALLY) bad time. I was so unconscious of his needs that he's either just had enough , or ive hurt him with what ive been considering doing to resolve it all. I guess awareness is key as it is with many things. Great teacher Teal , thank you for all you have done for so many.
The lies that parents tell - am argument for eugenics. Seriously, the trauma must stop.
I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t feel I can meet this. When I love someone (really love someone), I love what they love, because they love it. I want to make their needs as important or more than my own. And, while I can see how this next part may concede that relationships are fundamentally transactional, I can definitely love someone and then not end up with them because they didn’t return my love. A person can only go so far… be pushed so far.
As I said to the person I thought was the love of my life: ‘I want to do the things you want; I need to help you get your needs met; that’s what I mean when I say I love you.’
A relationship is transactional, but love is not. So relationships based on love are not fundamentally transactional… and I would argue that if they are, then that’s not really love.
I guess at the end of the day, I couldn’t make it work with her because she didn’t love me back. I’ve never really loved anyone before her… I’m 42… is that sad? I feel a void where there was once light.
Don't give up. If you ask the Lord to find the person who will love you and wait it may just happen.👍
Wow ,I've just discovered about what love and relationship truly is.Thank you so much Teal.May you have all the love and blessings in life....
Teal this is the video that’s going to explode a lot of eyes open! A lot of what you share here are bits and pieces I’ve heard mentioned throughout many of your other videos. I love that you made a comprehensive guide.
This woman is pure gold
This speaks directly to my last relationship. My partner absolutely denies she has MASSIVE abandonment and daddy issues, coupled with that fact her mother broke her picker, I was used as an object to "try to figure out" what she wants.
Listening to this today REALLY helped me see myself in the above situation, helping me see the mistakes I made, now I see it deeper without overinvesting. Transactional awareness is making sense now that love and value have been separated from permanence. Me not needing to meet someone's need(s) is a recent discovery, this video helped me see another layer and point of connection to change my belief and understanding.
No regrets, I treasure the good times and growth I experienced with this soul being.🙏
I love this series of teachings on Relationships. It helps me immensely in real life as well as parts work 💟
I really needed to hear this! Thank you so much Teal! You are no idea how much you are helping me! Love with all my heart!
I love this. I actually came to understand this after my second marriage. LOL slow learner. But when my partner and I started the relationship I have now, we started it with working through a relationship seminar by Alison Armstrong. It made us talk about so many things that could be relationship Enders before either of us had any personal need to be right. The discussions that the seminar started for us made us work through so many things that we each got to express our thoughts and attitudes about a huge number of possible issues before they even came up. So now I live with my best friend and the love and respect grows daily. We have been together for 12 years and I can honestly say They have been the best years of my life so far. I expect it only to get better and better moving forward. I love the way Teal breaks things down and states it in a way that we might not have thought about it before but it always makes total sense to me.
This is the best relationship advice anyone will ever hear! Teal peals all the layers of absurd conditioned crap off the relationship onion. She's bold and goes where no human dares to tread. This is a true spiritual teacher!
You talked of this a few years ago. I so believe it. So true. Helped me to be honest and ask for what I want from friends and family.
OMG, it all became so crystal clear now. Thank you so much, my resedue feelings towards my parents have completely evaporated! ❤
I really like that you have the transcription for this video. There is so much amazing, and helpful information, it allows me to revisit areas I need to hear again quickly and without tuning out other parts. You have helped changed my life, Teal. I am so grateful for your work and all you share so freely with the world. ❤️
Alchemy has a principle that is based in equivalent exchange ❤ only real way to hunt for the philosophers stone 🍎
Thank you again Teal for helping me wake up! There is so much to see and do here and it is absolutely Wonderful
So nice to have this put into words. I have always felt the differences of these 2 things. People think I'm crazy
Thanks Teal been working on this for the past years with lots of success. Cause I want to love better and be loved better 😁❤️
you're right, repeatedly I found my self suddenly feeling the need to take a deep breath.
Honestly....this didn't upset me at all. This video feels like a huge relief, thank you.
This gave me so much clarity that no other video about relationship did. Thank you!
Thank u teal! This came just in time!
Oh this one is sooo good and delivered in perfect time, even after 2 years!
Teal, you’re amazing! Thank you! 🙏🏽
Powerful. Thank you Swanny!
Wow! Fantastic clarity....relationships cut to the core! Thanks Teal.. .
Thank you Teal, this is absolutely incredible, such clear and valuable advice in a world of utter confusion thank you thank you thank you I might have never had any hope to learn this if not for you
This is mind blowing Swan! I love it! Or u really met my needs with the info that was first unconscious and now conscious ! Thank you!!!!!
Truly excellent video. Really glad I came across this tonight, it cleared up a lot in my understanding and I see now how relationships ending isnt personal.
Thank you, Teal. Life changing!!
Thanks for sharing! Didn’t really blow my mind personally.. maybe because I’ve been studying social skills extensively for the past 8+ years (example: Owen Cook’s & Julien Blanc’s content). However! Still a great reminder + a different angle, which I appreciate.
May God keep on blessing you in every way Teal! 🙏🏼
Wow, this was an amazing video/concept!!! Thank you Teal - I have so much to think about now…
Thank you so much Teal Swan. This was gold ❤
Very thorough ❤ Will watch back a few times to make sure I got it all 😊
ONCE AGAIN, Thank you Teal Swan for this video. You are absolutely correct .. SO TRUE
Thank you for your wisdom. I was in the front row in Miami, your my mentor
Beautiful video Teal, had to break up with my ex because I wasn't getting my needs met and we both were trying very hard to make it work but at the end the amount of effort it took to keep the boat from sinking was too much. Live and learn and stay positive yall.
Well said teal. Thanks so much
omg this was the most brilliant thing ive ever listened to and a life changer! thank you teal i love you all
Exactly an answer to my question to the Divine earlier! It’s so painful to experience the realization that the person you love so deeply and saw a future with no longer meets your needs and they eventually realize their needs aren’t met either because of my evolved needs. 💔 the grieving is real. I mentally get this so much. Now holding space for my body and my heart to catch up. The chemical addiction to the emotions is real! 🙏🏾👑💖
Can you give examples of needs?
I love you for this...this is so eye-opening
Great to hear from you Teal
I love the intro to this video. Teal Swan Gang Udigg. Thank you Teal!
This came exactly when I needed it.
Thank you.. i learn this idea from you and it just hit home.... I love your content, so realistic and useful.. it helped me become clear about my needs in my relationship and it's so liberating. Love and respect x
Happy Sathurday Teal! Thank
🙏🌠🌞🍀🌷💜💚💖💙❤🍀🌷🌞🌠🙏
Wow you cover so much!!! Thank you! Bless you!!!
I like it here. I think I'll subscribe. This one relationship coach always says:Are you creating value in the other person? I finally understand what he meant.
I find your insight amazing Teal, thx for all you do. Each moment is eternal, one could view each interaction as an opportunity to create experience which lives forever outside of time. The laboratory of transmutation is the heart chakra.
wow! this woman is just so amazing! thank you for sharing ur wisdom
Amazing video thanks teal 👌❤️👌❤️🙂☺️🙂
😭😭😭😭😭😭 the timing of this video is crazy right now had a download about this 🙏 789
This is excellent in sight thx
Love the vibrant top !
Thanks, i learned this from you throughout the years. 💜
Woooaaah this is so unbelievably synchronistic with my life.. I was literally experiencing this exact conundrum in a romantic connection coming to a head because needs were not being met literally 3 hours before your video popped up
@p¡nned by Teal swan reported. Gtfo teal's chat
this is something to watch on the first date. its so refreshing, finally somebody says these things.
Wow, Genius. I am going to have to watch this over a few more times to take it in
Teal is always on point!! Only 1 thing I'd say is be careful with is being upfront about the transactional exchange, depending on the person. But I found this mentality to be soo helpful for my friendships. I literally have zero expectations, and just appreciate the value that they do bring to my life. This has allowed me to no longer be a resentful person, and to maintain healthy boundaries, where I am no longer being used by people. "BE CONSCIOUSLY TRANSACTIONAL IN ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. FIND THE RIGHT ENERGY EXCHANGE" 💯
Thanks for watching.
Comments really appreciated.
Make a note to Robert Thompson regarding B~T~C/ETH investment ideas:::
+①②①③④③②⑤Ⓞ②⑥...
Tell him I referred you to him 🚀🚀
This video was perfect for me. Thank you 💙
This is a great video!! Thank you!
Teal, my only current therapist. And reading books by Osho. It's all I need right now
Thank you, Teal. This was great, very practical advice, and very much needed. After thinking for a while, I see there's no other way around than seeing and living relationships as transactional.
Hey, Teal, what do you mean with that?.
Thank you Teal i learnt a lot.
Really well spoken and explained.
This is so true... thank you so much!!!
Thank you for your life lectures!
Thanks i was meditating a lot about, what are mi needs or the other person... Now you make up mi mind more clear
im grateful for you sharing this!!!
I had to digest this for weeks before grasping it.
I really appreciate you Teal. Thank you.
This video has the answers I've been looking for in the last few days...
The timing for this video to reach me couldn't have been more perfect.
It added big value to my life in this specific time and situation.
(Yes, I also watched the value realization right afterwards 😅)
I recognize the 'transactional aspect' of my relationships and I admit to also taking offense (initially/ 10yrs ago) when I first recognized this.
Since, I've begun to take into great consideration which elements, within my own, and/or another's, default construct which are mOst divergent/ in contrast/ different... for discovering what (if any ain't no thang) I &/or They have to offer (are with a surplus of), vs what I &/or They may actually benefit from experiencing more of.
I look forward to the day when We all become more consciously transactional.
Thank You, Teal.
I love that you sound like the character Smith from the matrix played by Hugo weaving. Nice work, big fan👍