Family (The Truth About Family)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Want to understand #family? Family is the framework of human society and the system into which a physical human is typically born and #socialized, it is important to become aware of family in general.
Video references
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Cancer How to Cure Cancer 15:07
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What Your Parents Did Right 18:19
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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.
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When all you’ve known is emotional and physical abuse, the idea of “family” sends chills down your spine
Yep…that’s why I’ve always disliked the idea of starting my own family
My thoughts exactly. Family is war and hierarchy. I don’t want to endure anything like that ever again.
I think that's the problem after many generations of these issues growing widely. Now many people fear commitment to a group of people let alone to one other person on that level.
🫂🖤
@@ari3lz3pp Or the truth is coming out.
Thank you for this.
-The black sheep of my family
Let's say you're not the black sheep how about you are the giraffe who is able to see things sheep cannot and connect to Spirit on a more higher level
@@mod3704 oh wow
@@mod3704 So cool :)
@@Banzii_Mavuso thank you
@@mod3704 this gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. smart girl
I was born into a severely dysfunctional family on so many levels. Made to be the scapegoat. Many many years of therapy later I am accepting and loving of myself and living how I want to. I have no contact with either of my parents and limited contact with my siblings. Best decision I ever made.
I want to be like you! But I constantly guilt trip myself for leaving
@@月亮-g5fthe guilt will fool you for a long time. Except you go back and nothing ever changes, this was my experience anyways
Your story is my story and I did the same thing. I broke Contact a couple years ago, but of course I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable and feeling the dysfunction all along and I feel the same way you do and I still love some of my family members but not more than I love myself, so I echo your statement when you say it was the best decision you ever made because I consider that decision to be an actself-love and just frees you up to heal…
I have absolutely no guilt about it. If anything I feel empowered. I feel free and I feel like I can breathe and be my genuine self.
@@pamchesler242 keep loving yourself ❤️
@@LisaFrancesJudd that is very sweet. It took me quite a long time and a lot of healing and I would say that anybody who makes the effort to heal is actually loving themselves, so I send the same sentiments back to you! ❤️❤️❤️
When I've been driven to homelessness, psychosis, and suicidal ideation, I cant give them anymore chances. Thank you for not making me feel alone💓
Oh, hope you find yourself again ❤
Here with you on that one. Good job maintaining your mind
Sending you love x
Families do not change. We are far better without toxic families. 🙏
Its frustrating to know that others have gone through experiences similar to and felt/feel like this. Frustrating, yet in a way, comforting. Know that you are not alone in the world, its just hard to say it aloud.
I've been estranged from my family since 2014. Thet have gave me spiritual, physical, mental scars that cannot be healed by them because they arent the type of people who can admit what they have done. They don't know how to heal. I tried for years...if I continued...I would not be here right now. I'd either be dead or in prison. Sometimes you just have to let them go because too much damage has been done. Sometimes the worst advice you can give a person is to reconnect their family.
same 🙏
@@justanillusion20 you're gonna be ok. Because you're strong
I feel the same🙏amen ❤ i am working on it to let go! Blessings ❤🥰
agree. it would've been unproductive for me to watch that video 5 years ago. now after a few years of distance, i have to admin that distance alone doesn't solve the root of family-disconnection.
Exactly. I saved my life when i left them. But it took me 20 years to realize that THEY are my worst enemies. It was much safer to trust to unknown people i accidentaly met, than trust to them.
It has been 4 years, I cut off all my family members. The last month my mother called me for the first time in 7 years, bc she never calls me but I should. I didn't answer her call, when I listened to the voice mail, she said that people noticed my absence & i'm ruining the family reputation by doing this. I blocked her immediately bc i know my family will never change, experts in guilt triping. Thank you Teal for this reassuring words. I'm on the right path 🙏
I love you and I feel this so deeply. I’ve only been split from my family (parents and sister) since June 1 but I feel like I’m finally able to be ME, at 42. What a relief. 💞
i understand you
Dose of Laughter 💖💓😘
Telling her concern is ruining the family reputation rather than missing you, accepting her role in problems, and wanting to make amends. You did the right thing by blocking her.
so typical. they don't get an ish about connection, just how they look in the eyes of the others and reputation. I'm yet to watch the video, but I want it to be somewhat healing. Thank u for writing ur experience. You're so strong.
Families is the building block of successful societies. You want to heal society, heal the family!
Nothing like coffee and disillusionment in the morning 🤣 I love you Teal. Thank you for your dedication to truth always 🙏❤️
coffee and disillusionment , my favourite .!!
blessings to you beautiful soul.
I have been reflecting on the decision I made a decade ago 2 separate from my birth tribe. Extreamly painful decision" A lot more painful A lot more painful for me than them" And I wonder how I did it. Self preservation. Still love them with all my heart and soul and wish them the best. Evolving was much more important to me. Tank you for allowing the greatness of the universe to work through you
To answer my question.. Many blessings to you!!
Every time I went to visit my parents I had runny nose, now I am pretty sure it was my body expressing sadness. Being in my parents home made my brother very depressed. Now we are both living abroad, we have made the choice of life over death.
This is so reassuring because I have no desire to visit my dad or brother since my mom passed over 2 years ago. I have learned to love life and spirituality, but trying to talk to them is like talking to a wall! One of my childhood roles was the poor sickly boy that rarely went outside and “got dirty”. Now i work outdoors and have a farm working real dirty work. Also I have only called in sick 5 times in 30 years!! Any time I am around them I feel the old fears and doom creeping in on me. Feels good to vent that
Beautiful story of healing...❤️
You do you boo
I feel you 😘
You have a wonderful relationship with Mother Earth and that is one that is always with us no matter what.
Lots of love and healing to you ❤🙏
I actually think creating and building our own families despite not being blood is actually going to be more and more of the future. "Soul tribes" are going to create so much more awareness, respect & compassion towards diversity. I love my family members but I do not identify with them. They have very little tolerance for people who are different from them. I have actually been the change agent in the family but no one wants to acknowledge my open-mindedness. I actually yearn to leave my family, at least for a while.
Do it, it's deeply liberating. I left my family for 2 years after they made me homeless. That was an incredibly hard 2 years but I woke up and healed a lot of stuff, and they have healed to a manageable level as well. We will probably never fully get along because they are so close minded and incompatible at this time, but that 2 year period was deeply necessary for my healing.
If something doesn't serve your purpose or survival, toss it in the garbage.
I'm very grateful that my family was in the rare category that decided to change together to stay together years ago. We are much closer as a result.
That seems so very unique now for certain. ☮️ Thats wonderful.
You are very rare and fortunate
When I experienced a total shift in my world view because of information that I found very disturbing I went into a space of being terrified of what the future would hold for humanity and spent far too much time focusing on all the horrors that were being exposed. My youngest daughter had the strength and intelligence to shut me out of her life for 5 years. It spurred me into deep introspection and spiritual awakening that I bless her for being the catalyst of. When she let me back into her life I realized how absolutely brilliant she is. I am very grateful for the experience.
Babygirls will do that 🤗
Wow, that’s amazing that you were able to shift your perspective, grow, and reconnect with your daughter. It gives me hope! Bless you for sharing your story 💖🙏🏾
wow - a brave comment. Thank you.
It's amazing you looked into you, very few will ever do that. Grace.
You are a very wise and kind mother. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I feel all awakened people go through a period with the family that they feel a need for separation at some point. This may be for the best and they may come back a different individual able to help the family overcome these limiting patterns, an ultimate act of love.
I agree with this Emily. And the way we help them heal is by simply remaining in our authenticity while around them. Not by fighting with their shadows or trying to force them (with words and actions) to evolve or to validate us. I think so atleast.
I certainly went through a phase of feeling trapped and limited by my families toxic behavior. Deeply, subconsciously, I was afraid to assume responsibility for loving and balancing my own inner world, I was using their toxicity as a mirror to further victimize and reject my inner shadows , basically playing out my fears of creating sovereignty within. Doesn’t make them any less toxic lol but now I know the real work is within
This is my experience atleast ❤️✨
Right
When people learn that I dont speak to my parents they react with "oh thats a shame", " maybe you will make it up some day", " family is important you must make an effort". Even though Im healed I still have scars because of the effort I made. I have scars because my father physically and mentally abused us all. I have scars because my mother chose to allow this and not protect us
If you're family have hurt you as badly as this them you have to look after yourself.
I suffered emotional and physical abuse all through my childhood. I believed the lies my mother told me because I was only a child and naturally didn't think that she was doing anything wrong - I always believed everything that happened to me at the hands of my family was my fault.
I have been no contact for 23 years now.
My life is my own, and I've never been happier.
People who say "that's a shame" don't understand what you have been through.
I would say actually that's great. You've escaped the toxicity.
Heal yourself and live your own life.
I separated from my family and I've never been happier.
Oh I am so happy for you!!
Same
How can you be happy without your kids and the woman you love( aka wife), or you talking about your parents?
Me too! I have a half brother that I
Am Connected with. I left my abusive parents at the age of 17.
@@creativereinvestor what if hes asexual or gay ?
Blood family isn’t always meant to be in your life just because they’re blood. That’s that.
Blood is grosser than water
agree!sometimes They can't be in a healthy relationship, so it's okey to be away from them.
amen to that,my mom side family covers up wrong and trys make others look bad,
Thank you Nicole for saying it! It's good to know. Waking up to this understanding is freeing! ❤🌹
Blood isn't an excuse to abuse (verbally, physically, emotionally) the rest of the family.
I cut all my family members years ago when I moved to the US. I left all behind and moved to NYC with only a backpack. I still talk to my mom sometimes and I can tell, after all those years, they haven't progressed neither mentally nor spiritually. It makes me feel good about leaving them years ago😂...
I hope I one day have the courage to do this!
I have been estranged from my family if birth since 2013. No one except my mom has even called me once. There's always a part of me that wonders why they hate me so much when my greatest sin in childhood was really just being "too sensitive" and when I was older I couldn't be in their presence soberly, which only brough more scorn. They've never included or accepted me. I don't know why and I can't afford to care why any more because I made my own family to care about now. I don't miss the one I was born into.
Incase You'd Rather Read About It: tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-truth-about-family-r429/
Most families don’t do what is best for you but what is best for themselves and that includes having children that they assign roles like the golden child and scapegoat or invisible child and doing what they fell is best for you because it makes them comfortable. They only want what makes them comfortable not necessarily your authentic best self. It’s like the story of the nurse who wants to inject the patient to calm him or her down and will say it’s best for them but it’s only best for the nurses, doctors and hospital to keep them asleep not getting better by running around the hospital room with that energy and illness they have.
Yes, Teal I have been WAITING for this one!!! I'm particularly interested in ancestral/genetic makeup passed down to us
I'd love to know more about that topic too... maybe she will go deeper on that someday
Yes! I've read that we inherit the microbiome in our guts from what the past 8 generations of women ate on our mother's side of the family.
Learn about epigenetics.
@@303cris ah epigenetics! I will look into it thank you
@@Morale_Booster check out Dr Bruce Lipton here on TH-cam
It’s been almost 17 years of no family contact for me. Thank you teal this has been powerful 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson from one INFJ to another
How long ago had it been, 21 with no money but I’m. It sure being around them is doing me good
I feel like I’m odd in that I refuse to defend and justify what my family is/did/does. I just see it for what it is and point it out, but I find people don’t want to see things and just pretend everything is fine. Uh it’s so annoying , you can’t solve a problem if you won’t acknowledge it’s there...
period..
Just in time as always, thank u Teal. And blessings to YOU whomever you are who is reading this right now 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🌈🌈🌈💖🌈💖🌈
This was a powerful video. I've had to separate from my family entirely for the sake of my well-being. However, there is still so much for me to do identifying those old patterns. My memory of childhood is very fuzzy. I've tried to do the self-authoring and review my memories from childhood, but I can barely access them. They seem to pop up spontaneously at times, at which point I can actually integrate
i can very much relate to that!
It’s because you still live nearby your parents. Move away, then you will heal.
My family is soo dysfunctional I left when I was 16. It was really hard and I tried reconnecting a few times but I am healthier and happier without them.
"In fact, when each new member, a new generation, within a family is born,
the consciousness of that family line progresses
and the child is in fact the one that represents that next step forward.
Which is why so often, what they're needing and wanting
seems to be in opposition to the generation previous to them, because it is that child
that is calling the previous generation
into those changes which they absolutely need to make.
When an entire family system gets on board with a full system's change,
when any member within that family needs that to happen for the sake of their well-being,
closeness,
intimacy,
all the things you want from family,
are going to occur."
Woosh ! Almost fell of my chair hearing all of this and feeling how it resonates so strongly in me.
Incredibly perceptive and deep wisdom you're sharing in such a straightforward and clear way, Teal, thank you so much once again, as you keep blowing my mind, my ego, and breaking my heart in the most beautiful, powerful way, for me to heal myself into full self-acceptance and being and (re-)expressing the love that I am and that I know I deserve, as well as to realise that my heart was and is fulfilled, whole and complete to begin with and now will continue to be.... fully, truly, being alive and in love with me and with reality. Accepting dysfunction, I've noticed is a major part of that, because it takes of the pressure too of trying to see others for what they're actually not capable of in that moment, but it also means taking a distance to protect yourself to not put yourself in a position of constant disappointment and resentment for having others or yourself let you down. Healthy boundaries, healing boundaries, boundaries to allow love to flow more safely.
I don’t hate my family, I wish them the best, but I don’t really want to have anything to do with them anymore! After almost 70 years of abuse, and somehow finally making the decision to end the verbal abuse, bullying and gaslighting, I’m surprised with myself for finally making the decision to cut them off from my life! It took me this long to have the guts to do it! But realize that it was for my own sanity to make the choice! Personally I would have wished to be able to work things out, but realize after all these years that things were not going to change! Thank you for sharing guys!
THIS. IS. BEAUTIFUL. That ENDING? That ENDING? How she closed the episode is even MORE BEAUTIFUL.
AGREED. So so important to recognize that!
“That he is unsafe and has no advocates in life”… thank you for giving some words to the impact of older brother on me growing up. It really really leaves a scar.
I separated from my daughter's father when she was 3. He did everything he could to make me the bad guy. I always told her I am your mom no mater what. When she was15 she thanked me for not talking trash about her Dad. It was worth it. I always told her I might not always like what you do but I will always love you. Sometimes other family needs to know this too.
Sweet 👍
Good!!
You were the bad guy.
@@MrBooYa-yd5er sounds like it, but we don’t know. If he beat her up, it was better that she left. If he didn’t, she was the bad guy indeed.
In the first 3 minutes I became so angry and offended, that I needed all self-control to not write my opinion in the chats. I sat through it, my anger somewhat disappeared. I know that for many people out there, this will hold great insights. For me.. Not so much. As we do not incarnate into the same family over and over again, I strongly hold the opinion that family is a lesson that we need to learn, but not in any way some place where we are doomed to be with forever. This mentality healed me, served me and continually serves me. I choose people around me. And when they are to my detriment, they can get the fcucuk out of my sight.
milomazli. Agreed..
16:34 - "Never underestimate the power of family dynamics to prevent the empowerment, the progression and the wellbeing of one of its members."
"It's where you were first programmed...it's where your patterns first began" . BOOM.
This is exactly the point I've gotten to in therapy! Realizing what these patterns are, and where they originated.
Teal is so spot-on!
I know you already made a video about cancer, but if you could break down the specific, underlying causes behind the many different types of cancer (and what changes the body is trying to achieve/force), that would be much appreciated. The “self sacrifice” cancer for instance...
From what i've read, the self-sacrificer cancer is the breast cancer, because they represent te energy we give to other people (I think Teal said this in that video) but I could be wrong - hope this helped though!
Mmhmm I would love to hear these topics as well!! Bless
Wow, you aren't asking for much at all. if you are so interested in all that how about doing your own research and creating your own content from that research rather than asking another to do all that to appease you?
@@richverreaultUm... ok? I’m not sitting here demanding that Teal makes certain content, I’m merely saying “it would be appreciated” and it appears 27+ other people agree with me. I’m very confident that Teal would not take issue with this question, since she makes a living by providing knowledge to people, often in a town-hall format. It doesn’t mean that I cannot attain knowledge for myself, or form my own conclusions, just that I am interested in hearing her unique perspective on it. Who are you to judge, based on my question, the amount of research I have or haven’t done about my own self-development, or this issue in particular? I understand your point about making my own content, but do not worry about me on that front; your frustration in that regard is misdirected at me and actually speaks volumes about your own insecurities. Do not bother replying, I will not respond further, since that is clearly all that you want anyways.
@@colinmullaney3152 and 27 others are just as lazy as you, so are many many more who haven't seen this communication who would "like" your comment.
Going against family being unnatural makes sense as to why I have spent my whole life in denial about being emotionally neglected by them
It's unnatural to go against family in a world where you're expected to join the family's "shared fantasy." LOL. F*ck that!
I was neglected, the scape goat through my life. Any connection that I wanted would be sabotaged every time. I have a disease that will take my life and oddly this is the thought that brings me some form of peace.
I was emotionally and mentally and physical abuse. Two leaving permanent scars on my body, but the scars in my soul are the scars that still have power to harm me.
They say that an infant will die without love, some that survive I cannot see a way to long life or a fulfilled life as they remain subject to familial ostracism and emotional and verbal abuse.
I am journaling my hurt my harm and my understanding. That journey before I die will be given to my family and to my psychologist with hope that need and care can be shown while in the youth of the person. I was in my late 20s when I discovered that my single parent home was filled with narcicism, that is also when I discovered that I had diabeties.
Now I have heart disease and realize how much destruction of my body came from abuse that then set in as my inner dialogue.
I share this because it is no longer a vulnerability to do so.
There is no reason to weep in silence anymore, I have discovered my talents late in my life as a person in their late 40s, now 52 I wish that I could have shared this wisdom with my younger self. I look at my pictures when I was a child and feel great sadness gor that child. Even going so far as to apologize to myself.
I am encouraged that I could grow to that understanding, because I have seen too many relatives carry their toxicity to their grave and innocent through the veil of their own narcicism. God bless you all.
I wish there was a whole series on how to be an “empowered orphan”.... If I’d known I could walk away with love at 18 and had structured boundaries (like a once a year love letter sent to them) my life wouldn’t have been so difficult. Instead, staying close to an extremely toxic family only compounds your injury and drains you from the energy you need to heal and build your own life with new people.
Some people who are very far on the spectrum of dysfunction and in the family system they’re the black sheep... you must get out. You must. But with love and I’d suggest a structured connection... like a once a year letter or holiday letters only. I wasn’t safe even letting my family know where I lived... I wasn’t safe letting them into any of my business... but I did... because I “loved” them.... now I know, yes I still love their incredibly dysfunctional and abusive a**es... but I’ve got to be careful... as careful as when handling a poisonous snake... it needs to be rare and with full attention and awareness that they are dangerous.
How many people stay in close contact with family and it just messes up their life even more than if they’d cut off/created strict boundaries. I wish I’d been able to accept much earlier, before so much additional damage/abuse was done, that it’s ok to be an “orphan”... I’d like to know the spiritual path of the empowered orphan... to make it something beautiful... there has to be something good about it... something with a unique purpose... a unique perspective .... something to help people walk away sooner ... before they’ve set fire to your life and health and damaged every facet of your life... because you wanted to be loved and wanted to be “good” and “loyal” and “strong”...
I’d love to hear more about spirituality within family systems and how, practically and spiritually BOTH, to handle a life with zero family care or support.
♥️Love to all the orphans of the world due to being a literal orphan or being born into a family that wasn’t worthy of the word “family” in the sense of love and care. No one WANTS to be an orphan, but maybe there’s a way to look at it that can reveal some nice truths/nice advantages/fresh spiritual perspectives! I’ve recently had some thoughts on this but I’ve already gone on too long and am hoping Teal might have some thoughts for the Empowered Orphan ♥️🙌⭐️thank you for all you do, Teal!
❤
Why can’t I like this more than once
Exactly!
Thank you Teal. We love you. 🌺👍💝
The message is so healing and applicable.
You have, Om Namah Shivaya. Universal Consciousness is one. You also disliked it more than once and never saw this video at all.
😂😂😂 Right!?😄😄😄😄
vote once, commit once, believe once, once upon a time people were true to themselves and others, Be True and Like Once,
Most of the family members are there to block you from moving forwards
Adopted. Done being the family scapegoat and spiritually bypassed by every single member of THAT family.
I now tell people I was an orphan.
That is what is BEST FOR ME.
Dont ever let anyone shame you into believing otherwise. Not every had a family worth respect.
I was the family scapegoat!
It turned out my mum lied to me for 20 years and the father I had was not my biological one, I always felt different from my siblings, I developed an identity disorder looking back, I hated my mother and could never put my finger on it then I found out the truth, I wasn't crazy afterall and am empowered cuz my instincts and feelings were VALID all that time. I found out through an ancestral kit I bought for my daughter and I, my mother would never have told me the truth, I don't hate her anymore and I treat everyone equal, having no resentments has changed my life for the better cuz I've accepted it.
Narcissists were the main CEO's of my family. Striving for the goal of family repair cost me 20 years of my adult life. Progress and happiness began when I separated myself so that I could heal. My family currently is the one I consciously created with people from all walks of life, with whom we can enjoy our uniqueness and have each other's back.
Amen
My conclusion to adoptions, we came to break the generational curses for our own blood and the family we adopted into.
It's a heavy job, as the scapegoat and the only one doing the work...
That's why we are here this time, imo. That's service to others by healing self.
And is best done away from your situation for perspective.
100% agree with this.❤️🙏
It took me 20 years separated from my family to change the dynamics, heal and regain the bond when we had all worked enough on ourselves, now each one gives the best of ourselves and the family can respect and love each member, providing encouragement, affection and support for each one in their differences ... to stop being an outcast or abandoned parents takes a lot of personal improvement and a lot of love to understand and forgive our roles and mistakes ... but leaving all this behind and having harmony is the closest to happiness . Thanks Teal because during all these years ... it has been the brightest ligthhouse of light that without interference managed to give me all the necessary knowledge to find my way back home. I sincerely admire you and consider you the best friend ever ... as well as one of the most authentic and wise people of this time .warm greetings and a huge hug from Cali Colombia.
After awakening I learn that is best to love them from distance. Their view hurts and makes me unhappy.
I don't see my father and my mother as family, I see and love them as the others, they were just biological and a way of coming here and my job is not to perpetuate their mistakes.
Matthew 10:36..."Your worst enemies will be members of your own family!"
This is such a sad, but true reality!
Stay strong! 🙏
You could forgive them energetically and wish them love from afar.
How you summed up the video at the end gave me goosebumps, I try not to rely on external validation too much but I really needed to hear that. Thank you Teal and much love everyone 💜🙏
Totally love this video, the examples Teal gave are so on point that they totally apply on myself/people around me.
Thank you for talking about all these "unpleasant" things, which most people don't like to hear. The truth about this world we live in sometimes doesn't make you popular, but it makes what you say even more important. And people should realize that change or the truth must not be overly painful. Actually it is the opposite, once you stop judging yourself and others. It is healing and empowering. And truth is LOVE, as LOVE is truth. LOVE is who we are. LOVE never hurts, fear does.
I never felt connected to my family, when I left, I felt nothing and kept all parts of myself. Gotta disagree with teal on this one.
This is the most important topic!
I learned this on my own 7 years ago, arguably saved my life because of the profound changes. Most of the time, taking a few years break away from your family will allow the members to reassess the importance of the unit and it's functions.
But from the families perspective, what if them changing affects their own perceived well being? It just seems like an incompatibility issue, family sucks.
I can relate ... I kept trying over and over, but they had many resistive behaviors to side step and not acknowledge, yet still suppress ... and one method was they seemed to become so uncomfortable, as if physically hurt by (my effort toward them, to try to approach my perspective, that, if accepted, would require change) ... It is effective, when, like me, you don't "want" to be the cause of hurt to them. {the take away message is to plan an escape, get out early, save yourself now}
Teal, I am healing on the battlefield. Right now, that is the only thing possible for my case
Heal well rajvi
Maybe it's time to discuss how to heal when the family won't change. How to accept the resentment and shame, etc that stems from this environment. You always describe how necessary it is to the health of the individual to have dysfunctional family members get on board with changing themself and caring about other people's welfare, when if it was remotely possible for the abusive family members to do that, they wouldn't abuse and be dysfunctional in the first place. How to handle the internal environment for the person on the receiving end to heal and move forward when change from the family is absolutely not in the cards would be an appreciated video! You have always done excellent analysis in these videos am I am feeling that more could be said here on this matter.
elegantly and poetically spoken words of wisdom.
❤️QUESTION: I grew up in a highly disfunctional family: 2 narcisistic parents mother highly violent with all of her 3 daughters since they were very young I witnessed a lot of domestic violence and abuse...father was almost never present as working overseas but that was really an excuse to not be in the family as my mother was and still a psyco, but they always pretended everything was normal and perfectly fine😉 using extreme gaslight. I escaped abroad travelling for many years when I was 21 building my self. I am 30 now. And had to come back in my "family" house for COVID19 a lot of shadow came out me and one of my sister are the mirror of their disfunctionality they cannot stand us. Family is separated but still pretending everything is great. I had to see a lawyer for the 1st time in my life as my mother wanted to kick me out of the house. But this time I stood up for my self and I am no longer scared of her (as she used physical violence on me untill I was 19) I am devoted to my self and always present for my self I know deep inside I am a teacher. I am not abandoning my self anymore I used to think about suicide but now I understood. My pattern would be to focus on the negative (and so staying in the negative) but I changed that too. My family is not willing to see their disfunction and even if I mind my own business the mob me to get away from them. I know that they are so far from me emotionally also I am living from my truth and they are escaping their truth everyday so we are definitely not a match. I feel good when I distance my self from them and my friends are my real family and I am always here for me. By following what I think is the best for me as I love my self I believe I am doing the right thing. And I.try to look at them with an eye of compassion and appreciating them from far when I feel like it. I know I am on the right path. Thank you for your video. Much love from Italy❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I will come and see you one day in costa rica💙 I am also a vegan Chef so I would love to make you something ❤️ love you guys. Thank you for being part of my FAMILY❤️ LISA
so, what's the question? :-)
@@drdemi I guess It was more a monolog than a question 😂 or looking for approval if I was doing the right thing, but I guess I don't need any😉
@Nóra Jánosi hey Nora, yes I feel you too...in my family emotions was always treated like a transaction you do this for me and then you will have this this and this... This is conditional love. I say to you be proud of your bubble even if for other ppl it could seem the most stupid thing, well it doesn't matter because it matters to you you are free to be and do what ever you choose to and you can. Do not feel defined by your family because you are not. A lot of parents think that their childrens are their property and they are an extension of them making you believe so since you were a child so then you loose yourself and always question your self if you should be or do something as it could go in opposition to your family. But I learned that my approval is all I will ever need. And if my family doesn't approve of me is their problem. Nothing to do with you. Keep doing what makes you happy. By following that as you said you will attract ppl like you who are free and are following their joy. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@real_path hey, the situation we have is very similar, my mum is the same but do not let her behavior scare you. I left so many times here but this time due to COVID I could not and I was forced to find a solution. So In my case I am not the owner but I have my residency in this house. My mum is the only owner (my dad bought the house, but it's in her name) legally parents are forced to help their childrens if they are in need (especially in this situation) I didn't know untill I went to the lawyer which told me I have all the right to stay here. I also lock my self in my room day and night as It makes me feel more safe and always keep the keys with me as my mum does not know what privacy and respect are. So in your case since you also are the owner that is your home to. If you feel like go back use grey rock method with her if necessary (look it up) you will take awhile at the beginning but you will learn to prioritize your own self. I did I came out of depression and wanting to not live anymore. I choose me, I am on the other side now and you are doing it to. I am here❤️ let me know how it goes❤️
Took responsibility of my sanity and well being and removed myself from my destructive family. It wasn't my fault I was born into my family. The best decision although painful at times was so necessary. They all tried to make me the villain in every situation and I was treated that way accordingly. But, I was the hero to my perspective by removing myself completely and let them destroy eachother. I'm happy knowing I made the right decision to escape evil for all of us. I really am happy 😊
My family is garbage. I’ll be starting my own.
please don't children before fixing your trauma.
🤣😂😅
Mine too!!
Having your own family can cause more harm 💯 if you haven't repaired re parented your self...
Make sure you heal first!
Truth. Look out for and take care of each other, make sure no one is left out or left behind.
I wish you had gone into depth about ancestral karma and family curses.
In a separate video,with this as the foundation, would be great
No family is perfect. All human beings make mistakes. No one can do well at everything and everyone has room for improvement... many at parenting. Thank-you Teal & Tribe for including pictures of happy people. I will always remember the family meals we had together which often included friends that I can choose to focus on. "Surround yourself with positive energy." There is no such thing in this universe as a worthless human being; however, “Energy is contagious, positive and negative alike. I will forever be mindful of what and who I am allowing into my space.” Alex Elle
This is by far the cleverest content I have seen. Ever.
I don't remember seeing this when it was initially posted. Just happened to see it today...Two days after finally (and seriously) telling my sister never to contact me again. Part of me has wanted this for all of my adult life (40 years!), but I was tenaciously refusing to give up for all of the reasons you describe here....long after it was truly reasonable to save it... being convinced that there must be a way to change the dynamic, and if I could just keep a safe distance from her maybe some time and effort would make it possible.
What I find interesting is what you said about how "unnatural" this extreme step is...and how it goes against everything that's in alignment with the well being or health of a physical human. I happen to be an INFJ (Myers Briggs Typology) which means (among other things) that my introverted intuition tends to generate simple metaphorical "images" for complex situations and emotions whenever the need is there....similar to the way our dreams tend to do......and the image I got a mere 8hrs after I made this decision final, was of a dead and dried up part of "myself"...like an appendage of some sort that's been barely hanging on by a thread...and which I'd been dragging around with me for decades....finally dropped off.....and I felt surprisingly "lighter".
I'm certain this image was representing my relationship with my sister...V e r y slowly dying over the decades...and having tenatiously tried to pump some life into that almost imperceptably small thread of remaining connection ...while just getting more and more exhausted until that connection finally shriveled up similar to a dead leaf still hanging from it's tree. All it took was a conscious "shake" and I could feel that leaf fall off. In some ways this image is helpful. I mean maybe, in a way, this "IS" natural under the circumstances. Maybe it's the "next best" thing to a functioning relationship and therefore the the next "natural thing" in line once we realize that holding on is killing us.
3:58 once you experience this, tried million times to fix, go alone in life... a way better on your own! So glad I've made that decision.
WoW. Thank you Teal. People (guilty...) will fight for their limitations/programing. So grateful for you!!
"Never go against the family..." (wheezing gangster voice)
Why?
@@irshadahmad3905 because they will make you a deal you can’t refuse.
This hit close to home thank you for your insight 👍🏽❤️✌🏽
Great Video, I have shared this with my Family in hopes that my parents start to take action with my youngest brothers drinking problems as he is 25 and never left home. Thank you for your service Teal 🤗
share this with your bro ReadTHIS.littleoceandrop.com
Thank you very much for this. I was just struggling like every year, when my mother ordered me to come to her Bday,even though she never celebrated mine... She used my young brother to lure me in and I was in split and pissed. Now I realized it's my choice and it's my call. I needed that reminder!
☀️”Thank you, Teal”🙏🏻💜💫
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you, Teal! ❤
This is absolutely fantastic. So needed. I’ve recently needed to remove myself from my family and this hits the nail on the head. But duh it’s teal. When does she ever miss the mark lol
I realize it's necessary for some to "go home" in order to heal, but for others it's excruciating and counterproductive to healing and the difference is so hard to discern especially for someone already riddled with family traumas that blur their judgement and what they see as common sense. In all honesty, I don't know a single person in my life whose biological family supported their healing with the awareness and consent that teal describes here. only in chosen families and tribes have I ever seen that. Something about biological relation signifies a lack of intention and consent to working together, while in chosen tribes, consent to cooperation is usually what they're founded on.
Personally I don't see the ideal scenario being healing with the entire family as in alignment all the time. It's a matter of synchronicity. They are also individuals that have traumas and that don't really care about the family structure sometimes. The role I played is the Deep Issues Problem solver and the intricate dynamics, that's why I'm mainly focused on integration and building my own family, but not through birth of children but with new permanence with people I belong with. It doesn't always work , Teal, even if you try your best, even if you give it your all. It just doesn't happen you are spiritual and they are " down to earth " even though being down to earth means to be more in the past or in separation, by exclusion of the multi-dimensional aspects of life. You will always love them because they are you, just like you'd love anything evil or cruel or demonic. It's you, it doesn't change that. But sadly we have an ego and we have to love it and take care of it. If they can't do it then it's better to part ways and make your own thing. Source can help you build it, you are that after all. So to me no structure for family or preferred way of being should be that strict. Also biology shouldn't be very strict as it shifts with thoughts and awareness. Things have been improving lately, but my entire family perceives themselves to be alone in general and are only walls that sometimes won't talk to you if you don't forcefully put them in a lose-win scenario with you when they depend on you for love and you'll give it only if they do the shadow work with you. It's just so complex that I don't think 1 video is enough. It should be like an entire book. But I'm assuming you're aware of it and how painful it is, especially for the rare cases like myself and others. Regardless thank you for the video and thank you for reading, whoever you may be, believe in yourself first and foremost and then think about family and social structures. They're just mental constructs after all, nothing too serious. If it doesn't work, throw it away and build something for yourself.
So timely for me. I recently returned to my familial home town, and after only a week, I am seeing it is already a wrong decision. I am now 57. I got out at 18, and mostly healed my self, but they still keep trying to reel me back into their toxicity. It's so sad, and so hard to return. I keep thinking I can heal them, as it is so easy to see now what caused it all and what they must do to heal their own situations, but they don't want to be healed. It seems the toxicity is too engrained within them, as they are all in their 60s and above. I know now, I can only let it go and try to forgive. Which, I will. Gratitude Teal!
It’s so much easier to be dragged down than to be pulled out unfortunately.
All these u are saying I was feeling them since 17 years also but I couldn’t put them in words and actually communicate them with my parents. I Blame my self a little that I didn’t have the capacity to communicate with them in such level. And I understand totally that was that happening because of them. They did what they were thinking as good but they weren’t changing. It took me years to accept and move and change on my self and I haven’t even complete it .
Same!
I feel exactly the same
Thank goodness for friends, bc my biological family let me down in every way. My friends ARE my family (or my "clan"). And I am finally free.
Which one is the “the self-sacrifice cancer” in the natural health community?
I've missed those long episodes so much!!!!!
Thank you Teal, love you always!
This was about and for me, its crazy weird.Thank you. I've been forced to separate from my family becuase they refused to change, it's been the hardest time of my life and I'm still struggling 5 later. Thanks you for this!
We have our family in our very DNA. Its so sad to see such dysfunctional families our there. I read a book about a Native American man who left his tribe cuz of anger.
He wandered the desert and through the elements and animals, the Great Spirit taught him the valuable lessons that no man walks alone.
He was able to humble himself and go back and see his tribe with new eyes. With empathy and compassion in his heart, he was able to resolve differences and help lead his tribe to better ways of doing rhings.
We are a representation of our family.
Question : So I am adopted when I was 1 year old. I don’t know anything about my biological parents. Should I work with the ancestral trauma in my adoptive family because I chose to come into this family or is the biology what runs the show? I guess it’s both, right? 😏
Yes, you choose into the ancestry of the adoptive family as well.
me asking my parents why they are always stressed out and fighting when we have to organise anything. my mothers answer "that's just how it is. you know it's always like this" me further asking if and what they want to do about it. my mothers answer "that's just how it always is". last time i could calm my father down. i asked why he was stressed out, his answer "we want to get something done don't we?" after me saying calmly "we get this done just as quickly if you're relaxed" the bad energy was almost gone. i realized i have the absolute force in my actions. not in a bad or snobbish way, but that i now have the reflection of my behaviour in these situations, realize i'm triggered, breathing deeply and think about how to handle my words and actions so to not escalate these situations further. as my parents, mostly my mother, is not open to the idea of taking my words into account and take a look at their/her behaviour, i have to do whats in my power to become secure in myself and do my part. but how dare i not thinking she's perfect and immaculate as a mother and *always* (umm yeah .. not actually happening) critising her.
It's a good thing I separated from my family before I got cancer. Now, should I share that video with them...?
I do want to reconnect with my family and I want them to understand, but will it create more resistance from their part if I share this video...?
@@ChocolatBacon reconnect, but hold off on vid if you're trying to scold or correct them.
@@ChocolatBacon dont listen to the other person who replied to you. If you had to separate in the first place, you already made the best choice.
@@ChocolatBacon No, I would not suggest it. As much as i want to reach out sometimes, it would not be worth it to me anymore at this point to fix what is broken in my genetic family dynamic. I am still learning how to have good relationships around me. I tried over and over until i was 34 to mend things. Its honestly not my turn to reach out now. I doubt its yours either. As sad and heart breaking this video makes me feel about cutting off contact with my family, I love myself more than that to ever repeat that cycle again. I respect myself more than that as well and i will hold the tiny crying child inside myself while we grieve together once again. There is nothing wrong with just feeling and being present with our emotions, not all of them are best played out while we are having internal conflict. We are safe to feel. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I don't think sharing a video is a good way of reconnecting with people you separated from…any people…any video. feels more like giving your power away to a third person (teal) and hoping they will solve the problem. i feel you though! i separated from an abusive family as well and i wonder how on earth i can reconnect.
I wish every family would see this and wake up
You are absolutely fantastic!!!! I hope my kids watch this as I just shared it. Amazing explanation! In love with your methods of explaining
I strongly support this message.
It’s highly tragic that this video made me cry in a good way because I feel finally validated. It’s tragic that many of us understand this so well. It feels like such a gaslight when you only ever see happy family propoganda everywhere, even from people who so called are only seeking for the truth.
It's wonderful how your representations bring clarity .This was very insightful for me right now. Thankyou Teal.
Anybody know what kind of cancer is “the self sacrificing cancer”?
My guess is breast cancer
I also think it's probably breast cancer
This should be a video
@@catAfaable definitely
Cliffhanger right
I don’t think my family is normal at all. But I’m reliant on them for the time being. Sometimes I get really desperate cuz it feels like I’ll never be able to escape. But I know this is not true. I know I will attain my independence. I know I will move out and create the life I want.
I wanna see a video that you don't have to watch 3 other videos to get the full point, cos every video tells you you need to watch another 3 videos hahaha. I reckon if you followed the link to every other video you need to watch, to fully understand the current video you're watching you'd end up on an infinite teal swan loop hahah.
Side note; I'm painting my bedroom teal tomorrow 😁
You're not forced to watch the other videos. Plus they are not even monetized. Some people want deeper knowledge not just pretend to by just watching one video and thinking they know something.
@@dawnemile7499 yerp yerp yerp yerp
Every video stands on its own. Don't make excuses for not understanding this one hahahah
Truly, separating from my family was the best decision I have ever made.
Time to load the truth bullets...❤️
Also loved the “ ...in no time!...” part
🗽It's pretty clear by now that Teal is not for cultlike practice at all: A towering brave intellect that may feel overwhelming to some, but she thoughtfully encourages people to take charge of themselves, for their own chosen healthier (inter)flow 🌊⛲🌦️ I wish for people to be down-to-earth non-naive, while regarding each other with kindness throughout🌱
I'm currently self isolating right now from my family and Teal has a magnifying glass on my life. 😂 Apparently, my ancestral family line is also dissolving. 😅 Well well.
I do not have contact with most of my relatives that are still living. As expressed in the video she did on compatibility, it seems I am not very compatible with most of my relatives. I talk to my father once in a while due to feeling obligated, even though we are not close. I do have one second cousin I consider true family and a few other cousins that are great, but I don’t talk to them often. I made multiple attempts over the years to cultivate better relations with relatives. Eventually, I had to accept the fact that always extending myself in a one-way manner to people who were not interested in having a relationship with me was rather exhausting and depleting. I finally gave up. And at age 42, if they ever came back and wanted to work things out, I would enthusiastically do so. But until then, I create feelings of belonging and family with friends.
“Don’t ever tell anyone outside the family what you are thinking.” The Godfather
It is dangerous if you are a Mafioisi or if you have a criminal mindset. If you don’t have that, it’s good to speak up
You are speaking by your heart ❤. I can see it in your eyes.. Ya did not understand everything you said but i can feel the emotions you are telling with.. Because my mother language is hindi.
We're All GOD's Children "Mitakuye oyasin - All are related." Words and Emotions are extremely powerful, stay blessed! 😇🙏👽✌️🤣
I became am alcoholic,my husband and mom put me in rehab, I learned so much.The sad truth is that rehabs do not teach us how to implement what we learned with the family ,it's an individual problem when in fact it's a family problem. None the less nothing changed within my family life , I had already made a change and was not" going back " so to speak divorce happened. Soon after that my entire family disowned me for wanting to better myself. I was married for 21 years. That was 6 years ago. My ex started alienating my children as well as my mother and my maternal side of my family. I'm shunned I'm disowned I went from being everyone's go to to no one's nothing . I'm on my awakening experience, I've seen patterns I've changed them ..I'm so trying hard to continue to expand ,and continue to raise my vibration. Some days is hard, but i still haven't had a drink. Don't care to. Alcoholics were everywhere in my family I changed that. I'm happier within myself ..I am still lonely and am still learning who I am thanks for this and being you.