What if you messed up already after nearly 3 months NC and they pulled completely away again? This info is great for people who haven't messed it up. What about the ones who already messed up? What now?
@@samanthareilly6968 hi Samantha, I think in your situation you need to give yourself time, if they truly are ready then there will be that spark but if you both are at a just passing point it won’t. Feel free to talk to me if you just need someone who understands your situation to talk things over
Coach Blac " Excellent Excellent Excellent quality Tactic Advices Suggestions. I appreciated it. Is Educational to learn daily. It really does help me educate me and applying it. Being vulnerable and Matureness comes A Long way. Live Love Laugh....🎀
@@samanthareilly6968 same situation here. She reached out too soon after the breakup, at that time i didn't know these things and i have messed up. Now we are in NC again. It's been nearly 1 month
@blacademic what if we are long distance ? He is coming to visit next month to reconnect... after spending 6 months reconnecting over the phone: calls & texts.
I thought I was the only one, I don’t want my ex gf back either… she tried calling me on Friday night at 145am D call I ain’t flinch don’t even want the sex.
Those guys that have been dumped. If she has made a decision to leave, you have to let them go. Be silent and let them go. There is nothing on the internet that you will read that is more important than this. LET THEM GO. In a few months time, you will look back and be proud as a man that you maintained your integrity. If you chase and shout and text and pressure them, you are showing you dont have the strength of a man to emotionally deal with what has happened. Women admire strength maturity and control. You lose of this if you dont let them go. You have to remember, at some point in your life you will look back and the only thing that will stand out is how you dealt with it. Yes its tough, VERY tough and you feel as though you are doing nothing to get her back, but doing nothing, is the most powerful thing you can do. Believe it
Not really false hope. It depends. Most women and men end relationships for wrong reasons. If you want them back, this channel may help. If you are dumped because the other is dating another. Go date another as well. He who ended the relationship is he who finds out later they were wrong. Twice experienced this. I am a guy.
I really like this in the sense to show them what they are missing and how their judgement was wrong when they decided to chase dopamine instead. It proves they need psychiatric help
@@ace7821Wow so true, this is what mine did too, threw away 2 years of building intimacy for some infatuation that probably is already fading at the moment. It’s been like 3 months, I give it another 3 months before the rebound fails.
Too bad all of us in the comments can't meet up in person to exchange notes and just talk about everything we're all clearly going through "together". Lol. That'd be an awesome room to be in at a sad time like this 😂
19:39 I needed to hear this part. When we compromise on our non-negotiables for our partner we think we’re proving our love but what we actually do is lower our standards which shows we are not valuing ourselves. We put them on a pedestal when they were looking for us to be their equal.
To all of you watching this channel: understand that focusing on what you CAN control is the main focus…this comes with giving yourself grace, remembering that your ex is human, and taking the initiative to improving your life.
Thank you!!! So many bitter people in these comments who are thinking so small. Not everyone had a worthless cheating ex. Some of us were the ones who pushed them away with our insecurities and lack of self-love, and by doing things like Coach Blac said - compromising our own values out of desperation. His insight is super valuable and helpful for those of us who actually have decent exes that treated us well until they just couldn't deal with our shit anymore.
If someome leaves you ...leave in silence !They made a decision for you.God has someome way better for you and that ex aint the one .Someone who truly loves you could never just leave you like that (Well if you didnt cheat or do something horrible to them)Value and know your worth.
I dont think this is true at all. You don't need to be cheated on to not feel valued or respected in a relationship and if the same behavior continues because someone chooses to become complacent because they don't think their partner will leave, then that's where they fucked around and found out
A week after she broke up with me..she texted me if I wanna have sex but hey I didn't even respond to her.Guys be strong on this journey because you deserve more.
I think we should ask right away “what you want?” And put boundaries, as soon as they come back.. otherwise you’ll get scared to ask these kind of questions in the process of potentially getting back together to not scared them off.
Yesssss!!!! I'm doing it! Long story short him and I friends since grade school, we started messing around. I showed up for a relationship, he is a f$#%boy. I tried to be "cool" like it didn't bother me, no strings, it hurt bad, worse after each time. I've been no contact since January. Here he comes liking my posts. Eventually just asking me to bang, I said "I'm trying not to so..." he said I see. It's sad we've been friends this long and he hurt me pretty good, doesn't even bother him in the least. I've stayed no contact, since this past Friday. I'm proud of myself.
Also thank you Coach, you have no idea how down I already was, then this relationship was all around unhealthy making things worse. No contact kinda started as a hope he would want me. No contact ended up being my self protection that I needed so I can love myself. I don't know if I want to know if he ever cared.
Tbh sounds like you got friendzoned in the friends with benefits category. Maybe the more you tried to brush it off nonchalantly, you more cemented that impression in his mind...? Some guys are just assholes, just as some women are weird... Me? I'm 40, starting this girl back in Nov my age. She was into some bad bdsm shit. Beaten, slapped, bitten, tied up, whatever...in her last 4- month relationship she apparently almost got choked to death because she refused to use the safe word... ...I'm not into this stuff. Don't think a girl needs to be beaten to a pulp to orgasm, to put it bluntly. Showed her. She liked it. Spent months meeting me, opening up, telling me her story, appreciating I was different. Then in Jan, she was neglecting her birds to meet me...they got angsty. Started biting, clawing each other. One fav started self plucking, died. She immediately went walls up, communication abruptly cut off, frozen in the now weekly (max) meeting, no phone calls, one word text replies.....before starting a stupid argument and terminating everything (and I'll tell you how stupid it was - I bought her a PS5 so she could join my gaming clan, which she wanted. She bought the game my gaming clan is currently playing on a spring deal, installed it, then went crazy that to use online services, she had to pay a 6 euro monthly subscription (I mean she had the PS4...she MUST have known about this feature......). I offered to pay it for her, only for her to refuse, all but threw me out of the house and ditched me via text the next day three weeks ago Tbh...I'm using NC to clear my head. I think you should too, lady :)
I keep watching your channel for information,education and awareness.I gave my all in that relationship, and they still treated me badly.Im healed and I'm happy..I found your channel very useful when my breakup was still fresh..and I managed to help a friend through their own breakup with what i learned from this channel. Once you heal, it just becomes hilarious and you wonder what you ever saw in your ex 😂 coach your videos saw me through my own breakup. I didn't drag my dignity in the mud..😂😂
@@pulemokoena9566 don't rush it.Go through it and lean on whatever support you have..It gets tough but once you are out you won't want to do anything to jeopardize that...Good luck.
Give them the gift of missing you ! Disappear and do better , better yourself , get in shape , go for that better job . Buy that thing you always wanted ! Take care of yourself . Move on and let go . Once you let go that’s when they try and come back because you’re not hurting anymore from the breakup .
This video could not have come at a better time, my ex recently unblocked me a few days ago after 2 months of no contact, (she blocked me during no contact) i just know that she’s moving closer to the point where I do expect her to reach out to me soon. But I can truely say I have no urgency to be back into a relationship and I’m comfortable being on my own or finding someone else 🤞🏾
The pain of this is probably how I will finally get a full 6 pack to make her regret her choice and also get girls who actually will respect me and not disrespect me the way she did. I been sprinting like a MoFo, my shins hurt.
It’s easier to say it this way. But you don’t know how human emotions and relationships are. Simply because someone walked away doesn’t mean you stop feeling for them
Become better, you'll attract better. That's what I learnt. I still want her back but I know deep inside it ain't gonna happen and even if it does is she really worth it?
i knew the game and was always told "treat them mean, keep them keen".. and i cleaned up for year's..but then i met her...and unfortunately all the game in the world dont mean sh#t when you're madly in love..needless to say it didnt work out😂
Very good information. I don’t see him texting me any time soon, I failed nc terribly in the beginning I didn’t even know that was a thing. I lost my mind when he first left me, I went to his job and called him like 10 times. It took two months of him completely ignoring me for me to realize I was doing way too much and I was making myself sick. I’m much better now and I wish I had held it down sooner but, it’s cool 😊. I still love him endlessly ❤
My ex gf just unblocked me on Instagram after Ai chased her right after the break up. We’ve been broken up for over a yr now, but the fact that she unblocked me I feel like she wants me to reach out or she’s just stalking my profile. My life looks amazing since we were together, so maybe she’s too afraid I’ll reject her at this point 🤷🏿♂️
Long distance and no contact? Visiting and how to go about that, when you were the one seeing him for years… etc. Weren’t always long distance.. video for long distance
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Can an ex be too proud to come back? I know he still loves me (through a secure source), but he's also incredibly stubborn and haaates admitting he made a mistake.
Sounds like my ex gf. We broke up a little over a year now and she unblocked me a few weeks ago after about 8/9 months since we last communicated. I’m in another country and my life has taken a total 180… I don’t know if she is going to reach out, but my life looks waaaay better than it did when I was with her and I think she’s hoping that I reach out.. but I won’t
It’s been like 2 months now, lost track of the days, she’s long distance too, idt she’s gonna reach out at this point, it’s so hard to reconcile with the distance too. Dam wish I didn’t get my hopes up for her so much. I’m recovering though. Focusing back on me.
Is cuddling before I move out considered relationship focused? I stopped begging about a week ago after I found your videos 😅 we’re cooking together tonight, when I asked her she said “oh, like old times? Yeah, that sounds good”
This is great information but what if you have serious issues with their behaviours and the trust is damaged that should be dealt with in therapy as you’re dealing with a serious avoidant ?. Think about this… The person you broke up with still has the character, beliefs, values and people that were there before you broke up!… Children or not that hasn’t changed and it’s not your job to change them.
Coach Blac mannn I done ran my ex back into the forest😭. 2 1/2 yrs wasted smh I went 4 months dating her casually as we tried working on getting back. Then a huge argument occurred which led to the last 4 months being distant and now I officially started no contact after we came back from Drakes concert. Tbh I may need to book a call😕
This is the exact situation i`am in right now , its a tough one but i`am happy am moving in the right direction,for your explanations have matched my moves ,thanks for this timely counsel.
I should have seen this video a few days ago since I went on a very romantic date with my ex after a month of no contact and I said “relationship or nothing”. I think for women is more complicated bc I didn’t want him to get only sex from me since he still says he needs time to heal. I was thought “always believe a man if he says he doesn’t want a relationship” 😢
She unblocked me and told me she wanted to see "how i was doing". Said shes seeing somebody and wants to check in from time to time. Then i called the she forwared the call amd said she cant talk till tomorrow cus she was facetiming him lmao (it was only 6:30 pm) .......... I just ignored it and never called back . The games ppl play man lol
Hey Coach! 👋 I’ve watched all of your videos. But this particular video….i love the passion of it. You’re so animated. It’s great. Looking back in the relationships that I’ve had….this hit, hard. 💯% spot on. Thanks. Amazing message.
I did this wrong .. We met again and he said he wanted everything, we worked out all the problems and then he got scared and bolted again saying he lost feelings.. Back in NC, very depressed, thought it would work out.. losing all hope soon.. :/
What if the interactions aren't romance focussed and they're not even inviting you anywhere? Just messages asking about your cats 10 times and your job? I was doing so well doing NC and he was reaching out and i ended up messing up because i didnt know what to do. I handled it so well and was responding just mirroring and leaned back and being nice. It went on for weeks and every time he messaged a short conversation asking surface level stuff then dissaoearing for another week it was upsetting and hurting me. I ended up showing that and he dissappeared after basically shootung me down. I felt luke i went through the entire breakup again. I gave the opportunity to be hurt all over again. He wasn't trying to spend time with me, he just messaged for weeks asking about my cats then dissaoearing. Sigh.
Look one morning I woke up and looked at my wife and I said I wanna divorce .So when she moved out , I was hurt , then I started going over to her house , then I stopped make a long story short she texted me saying she in a relationship don't call or text then calls me the next day, I'm glad she got someone now I can be happy
Well my question is that if you’re seeing your ex again, and it’s not romantic, then this raises expectations that there will be a relationship again at some point. You’re just beating around the bush. I think what you’re referring to here is that I need to be hesitant and skeptical, thus my investment needs to be as low as humanly possible. I think the first meet-up should be dinner at my place. That’s the most investment I will make, and it also can be much more romantic than lunch or a group date. With the addition that it can lead to physicality.
@@ordon3858 Hence the keyword is “can”. If both people are still attracted, and consent, then why not? I’m saying that probably won’t happen if it’s at lunch or in a group..
10years then she left . I wasn’t emotionally available for a lot of it , I wasn’t here for some serious life events that put her into a bad head space , I stopped being fun and had a lot of financial stress . She left me . “Couldn’t forgive “ me for not being there . I did 2months of no contact and I reached out, we had a some what good back and forth convo . She seems to have regret or questioning what she did , she is “so sorry “ we both started we won’t talk every day “yet” her words . We used to ride dirtbikes together , as quality time . Is is smart to ask her to go ride dirtbikes and take her for a quick dinner after words ?
What if all the mistakes were made ? We've broke up 2 months ago . 1 month in after i begged and wasnt going over it we met and i started talking about the relationship. It eneded up with an argument He got up and left . Since then i haven't heard from him . Im doing NC but i dont think there is any chance left to get him back after ive made all the mistakes..😢 any advise?
What if I put the pressure of rebuilding the relationship on her too soon? I took advice from some other guy and really regret it watching this now. I told her to stop contzcting me (She contacted me 3 times since no contact, to check up on me, and if I wanted any of my clothes back) unless it was about rebuilding our relationship. I then reached out a couple of weeks later and thanked her, becuase this breakup has been helping me find value in myself, and told her that i felt too harsh with putting that ultimatum on her. We talked back and forth about how we were doing, I told her how much ive improved in my life so far, and she seemed really happy for me, not considering getting back together, but in a friendly, standing on the sideline type of way. I dont know if I already messed up my chance with her, and its really only been 2 and a half months. Did I screw up big time?
Coach, I wish you'd do a video about life-long avoidants. I watch your vids over and over, but none really touch on when the avoidants disappears for weeks/months, you get your fill and call it. I may have called it, but he abandoned me. Every time.
Kinda hard to do having kids with one another. I mean when I have free time she has the kids and when she has free time I have the kids. So bad idea to invite her along with me on an outing with the kids or invite over for dinner when I have the kids?
Good question! Get a sitter or ask family to watch the kids. Ideally. If that can’t be done then yes a rare exception do things with the kids but still preferably in the evening. Do at some point after dinner we put the kids to sleep and we have alone time. If this is sooo complicated and difficult to facilitate her attraction is still low. And so what you will see is even when you ask to do dinner together with kids she will make excuses. If she does give suggestions you will notice it’s in the afternoon, away from the confines of your personal residence. She is still inherently creating road blocks. Stop asking until the context is romance
Should I just give up on us and make it forever no contact? She's getting into her second rebound relationship literally befor the first one ended. She never took time off and healed from our relationship, but she did show signs that she still had feelings for me a month ago. (the mutual friend told me she was getting pissed and mad when ever she saw me in the hallways at school for no reason) Seeing as that was almost a month ago and she's hopping into another rebound as the first one ends (according to the mutual friend there just talking but not dating yet, Im not asking abt her this is just what the mutual friend tells me) leaves me thinking on weather I should just give up entirely on the idea of us ever talking again. Please help.
Yesterday my ex broke no contact asked to meet up and talk about our son of which I did and she told me I need to forgive her and the I told her I'll be going for an interview but I'm struggling with cash and she offered to give me cash of which I denied. And after the conversation we had I gave her a hug and kiss.... I don't know if I'm being weak or something because now I feel somehow please help
My gf just ended it as i messed up and got drunk and argumentive on the phone. We had a long distance relationship she said she'd call today and wants to pick her stuff up. I can't tell if she still ahs hope or not?
Will it work if they blocked you after an argument that took place after you had already fallen back when they pursued more due to a small dose of no contact. Going on almost 2 months of true no contact now
She left a damn vehicle at my house, I said in a text the day we broke up to they could send a designee to retrieve the key n fob… vehicle is still sitting on the street, parked, where they could get it… 7 weeks later. What am I to do? I sent a truce pic from church with an elderly woman we both know who had no internet skills telling her happy Easter. Didn’t even read… that was over 6 weeks ago… easy to not text at all for me… after rudely ignoring the elderly lady… but more wondering how I deal with this vehicle sitting here?
Call the city and have it towed or ticketed if she doesn’t have the right sticker, depending on where you live some places need that sticker or can be considered abandoned if not registered to that city and have the right sticker
I keep asking this question what if she dump u and don't text me at all then what do I do even if I did stop trying for a response what do I do if she don't text call or respond if I did send text
What if she doesn’t reach out but keeps liking depression posts and sad TikTok’s ? Been in no contact for about 3 months won’t even talk to me about our son?
If they seeing other people I let them do that. They ghosted me then hot fake restraining order then dropped the order then pop up its been 8 months why come back. Calling at My window. 7 phone conversations not once have they apologized. I wish I would give him access again he calls for days then missing in action were not children say what you want and move on. I'm too old for games and riddles. Go do what you chose to do. It's too late you should've came back long time ago.
What if an ex is planning to move out of state in a month can't find anything on the topic of exes moving. We just broke up a week ago and now he is planning on moving put of state
I just want to say I miss my wife so much I've been in NC since a month more less awere Anniversary is coming up of 5 year marriage do I still do the NC thank you.
Remember what does reminding about an anniversary say about “relationship focus”? If you are still legally married but separated it can be acknowledged but it will depend on how she currently treating you. If you are already divorced definitely DO NOT recognize special dates. Going on your message without much additional context my answer would be NO. Do not. If you want to talk in detail about it book a call
Good morning,I don't know if I messed up but yesterday April 1 i saw my wife car in an emergency hospital I stopped to see if everything was ok did I did Rong
Sounds good mate .was talking to my ex-girlfriend after the break up things didn't work .She stopped talking or seeing each other.she blocked me everywhere.we gone no contact now for 12 months now .can I still get her back ???
Very true , have been doing all this nosense after 2mouth breakup in the name of love to my surprise she text me she as lost interest and feeling in me . What next??
My ex hasn't changed at all after a year. It still hurts me because he is my true love and we have a child together. I'm very attached to him but he drives me crazy with the way he acts. I don't think he still loves me, even though I would want him to. How can you break away from someone you often see or write to because of the child?
So..... what happens now? He reached out after 5 months of silence, texted for about a month, then tells me to move on cuz he met someone else. About a month goes by and he starts calling, talking for hours at a time- enjoyable ( but he gets angry when I say I have dated when he asks) THEN he says we can't talk anymore cuz its hard for him and not respectful towards his girlfriend. We couldn't set a date because he is currently out of state, but I think returning within the next few months. Will he reach out again, if I stay no contact then I can implement these tactics?
He seems like avoidant type. He liked my Instagram story 2 days after he broke up saying he is not ready for serious relationship when we both agreed looking for serious relationship since date 1. What is going on 😂
When your ex move his new girlfriend into the house does it needs to he feel bad feeling for me even though he lives with his aunt and the girls into his
That’s definitely a no! Unless for a rare exception, you are married. Divorce is not yet final. So maybe just separated. You might consider things like this. However for 99% of people this is a no
Hello @blacademic he said he doesn’t feel we are compatible because of personality traits I have. I severally asked him to tell me what those traits are so I can work on myself, he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me. After the back and forth he told me we should go a break for us to re-evaluate ourselves. I obliged him but told him for us to be on a break we need to b in no contact. He responded if this is what I want it’s fine. I was off for 28days. On Easter I took the courage to reach out to him for us to see and talk. He said he will get back to me on that. Is Tuesday haven’t had anything from him. Should I reach out again? Because we have issues that needs to be resolved
He does - it’s no different - face time = quality (when ex reaches out) Watch all the videos and recorded livestreams on this channel and you will be very clear about what to do next.
Im less than 2 weeks since my breakup, and she has given me mixed emotions through some texts, we still have to give each other back some stuff we have from each other, should i keep no contact and get my things when we are ready to talk or should we exchange the things? Not sure if that would mess with no contact
Watch all the videos and recorded livestreams on this channel and you will be very clear about what to do next. Most of the time getting your things back, is an excuse to see them again and break no contact. Depending on the value of the items.
Oh and to be clear, if you are violating these principles, this is DEFINITELY why no contact is not working or things aren’t really progressing
What if you messed up already after nearly 3 months NC and they pulled completely away again? This info is great for people who haven't messed it up. What about the ones who already messed up? What now?
@@samanthareilly6968 hi Samantha, I think in your situation you need to give yourself time, if they truly are ready then there will be that spark but if you both are at a just passing point it won’t. Feel free to talk to me if you just need someone who understands your situation to talk things over
Coach Blac " Excellent Excellent Excellent quality Tactic Advices Suggestions. I appreciated it. Is Educational to learn daily. It really does help me educate me and applying it. Being vulnerable and Matureness comes A Long way.
Live Love Laugh....🎀
@@samanthareilly6968 same situation here. She reached out too soon after the breakup, at that time i didn't know these things and i have messed up. Now we are in NC again. It's been nearly 1 month
@blacademic what if we are long distance ? He is coming to visit next month to reconnect... after spending 6 months reconnecting over the phone: calls & texts.
After i got dumped, I was hurt, but after no contact, i started working on myself, and i dont even want her back. I found myself again.
I thought I was the only one, I don’t want my ex gf back either… she tried calling me on Friday night at 145am D call I ain’t flinch don’t even want the sex.
Which is how it should be. The relationship ended for a reason, aint no point in trying to make your ex "find you irresistible" lol
It’s a win/win situation. That’s way either way it works.
❤
Those guys that have been dumped. If she has made a decision to leave, you have to let them go. Be silent and let them go. There is nothing on the internet that you will read that is more important than this. LET THEM GO. In a few months time, you will look back and be proud as a man that you maintained your integrity. If you chase and shout and text and pressure them, you are showing you dont have the strength of a man to emotionally deal with what has happened. Women admire strength maturity and control. You lose of this if you dont let them go. You have to remember, at some point in your life you will look back and the only thing that will stand out is how you dealt with it. Yes its tough, VERY tough and you feel as though you are doing nothing to get her back, but doing nothing, is the most powerful thing you can do. Believe it
Here for my daily dose of false hope lol
Not really false hope. It depends. Most women and men end relationships for wrong reasons. If you want them back, this channel may help. If you are dumped because the other is dating another. Go date another as well.
He who ended the relationship is he who finds out later they were wrong. Twice experienced this. I am a guy.
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂
Hahahahaha
lol stop 😂🤦♂️
Your goal should be to make them come back not because you want them but because you’re going to reject them and teach them a valuable lesson
Mmmmmmm yyyyeeesss thats my thought process!
Why bother? Just move on
I really like this in the sense to show them what they are missing and how their judgement was wrong when they decided to chase dopamine instead. It proves they need psychiatric help
Exactly 💯
@@ace7821Wow so true, this is what mine did too, threw away 2 years of building intimacy for some infatuation that probably is already fading at the moment. It’s been like 3 months, I give it another 3 months before the rebound fails.
Who wants to go through all the nonsense? Get yourself a new man/woman that are not screwed up?
Too bad all of us in the comments can't meet up in person to exchange notes and just talk about everything we're all clearly going through "together". Lol. That'd be an awesome room to be in at a sad time like this 😂
I live in the bay
That's a good idea. There's always zoom
@@cj_8686 SF, Oakland.. where about?
Broooo straight up 💯💯💯💯💯
@cj_8686 I wish I would've seen this sooner!!! Me too!! East Bay.
pls pray for me bros im in the midst of a tuff one and i have noone to talk to!!!
Yo
You okay homie
Start working out, the only thing that works
Need a bro?
We all in this together
Call that person and say let me tell you this. One day you will be in the same position you put me in and I hope it will be soon.
19:39 I needed to hear this part. When we compromise on our non-negotiables for our partner we think we’re proving our love but what we actually do is lower our standards which shows we are not valuing ourselves. We put them on a pedestal when they were looking for us to be their equal.
To all of you watching this channel: understand that focusing on what you CAN control is the main focus…this comes with giving yourself grace, remembering that your ex is human, and taking the initiative to improving your life.
Thank you!!! So many bitter people in these comments who are thinking so small. Not everyone had a worthless cheating ex. Some of us were the ones who pushed them away with our insecurities and lack of self-love, and by doing things like Coach Blac said - compromising our own values out of desperation. His insight is super valuable and helpful for those of us who actually have decent exes that treated us well until they just couldn't deal with our shit anymore.
If someome leaves you ...leave in silence !They made a decision for you.God has someome way better for you and that ex aint the one .Someone who truly loves you could never just leave you like that (Well if you didnt cheat or do something horrible to them)Value and know your worth.
You are so right!!!!
I dont think this is true at all. You don't need to be cheated on to not feel valued or respected in a relationship and if the same behavior continues because someone chooses to become complacent because they don't think their partner will leave, then that's where they fucked around and found out
@jre6338 not saying that at all ..read again "That part"
A week after she broke up with me..she texted me if I wanna have sex but hey I didn't even respond to her.Guys be strong on this journey because you deserve more.
I think we should ask right away “what you want?” And put boundaries, as soon as they come back.. otherwise you’ll get scared to ask these kind of questions in the process of potentially getting back together to not scared them off.
I like this. I’m doing it “what you want”
The thought of getting in contact or back with this person brings me anxiety and makes me feel sick tbh
Yesssss!!!! I'm doing it! Long story short him and I friends since grade school, we started messing around. I showed up for a relationship, he is a f$#%boy. I tried to be "cool" like it didn't bother me, no strings, it hurt bad, worse after each time. I've been no contact since January. Here he comes liking my posts. Eventually just asking me to bang, I said "I'm trying not to so..." he said I see. It's sad we've been friends this long and he hurt me pretty good, doesn't even bother him in the least. I've stayed no contact, since this past Friday. I'm proud of myself.
Also thank you Coach, you have no idea how down I already was, then this relationship was all around unhealthy making things worse. No contact kinda started as a hope he would want me. No contact ended up being my self protection that I needed so I can love myself. I don't know if I want to know if he ever cared.
Tbh sounds like you got friendzoned in the friends with benefits category.
Maybe the more you tried to brush it off nonchalantly, you more cemented that impression in his mind...?
Some guys are just assholes, just as some women are weird...
Me? I'm 40, starting this girl back in Nov my age. She was into some bad bdsm shit. Beaten, slapped, bitten, tied up, whatever...in her last 4- month relationship she apparently almost got choked to death because she refused to use the safe word...
...I'm not into this stuff. Don't think a girl needs to be beaten to a pulp to orgasm, to put it bluntly. Showed her. She liked it.
Spent months meeting me, opening up, telling me her story, appreciating I was different.
Then in Jan, she was neglecting her birds to meet me...they got angsty. Started biting, clawing each other. One fav started self plucking, died.
She immediately went walls up, communication abruptly cut off, frozen in the now weekly (max) meeting, no phone calls, one word text replies.....before starting a stupid argument and terminating everything (and I'll tell you how stupid it was - I bought her a PS5 so she could join my gaming clan, which she wanted. She bought the game my gaming clan is currently playing on a spring deal, installed it, then went crazy that to use online services, she had to pay a 6 euro monthly subscription (I mean she had the PS4...she MUST have known about this feature......). I offered to pay it for her, only for her to refuse, all but threw me out of the house and ditched me via text the next day three weeks ago
Tbh...I'm using NC to clear my head.
I think you should too, lady :)
I keep watching your channel for information,education and awareness.I gave my all in that relationship, and they still treated me badly.Im healed and I'm happy..I found your channel very useful when my breakup was still fresh..and I managed to help a friend through their own breakup with what i learned from this channel. Once you heal, it just becomes hilarious and you wonder what you ever saw in your ex 😂 coach your videos saw me through my own breakup. I didn't drag my dignity in the mud..😂😂
I can’t wait to get to the point where I’m laughing about it!
I too like @lydiakarka can’t wait to get to the point where I’m laughing about it!
@@lydiakarka you are almost there..
@@pulemokoena9566 don't rush it.Go through it and lean on whatever support you have..It gets tough but once you are out you won't want to do anything to jeopardize that...Good luck.
Give them the gift of missing you ! Disappear and do better , better yourself , get in shape , go for that better job . Buy that thing you always wanted ! Take care of yourself . Move on and let go . Once you let go that’s when they try and come back because you’re not hurting anymore from the breakup .
they will reach out but act cautious
This video could not have come at a better time, my ex recently unblocked me a few days ago after 2 months of no contact, (she blocked me during no contact) i just know that she’s moving closer to the point where I do expect her to reach out to me soon. But I can truely say I have no urgency to be back into a relationship and I’m comfortable being on my own or finding someone else 🤞🏾
Did she reach out
Between Coach Blacc, Tony G & Love Dorsey I will be in a long lasting relationship in no time WATCH!🙏🏾
Excellent guidance! Don't rush the process. They forget the bad parts first, but you need to replace those with good interations.
The pain of this is probably how I will finally get a full 6 pack to make her regret her choice and also get girls who actually will respect me and not disrespect me the way she did. I been sprinting like a MoFo, my shins hurt.
Ex’s don’t deserve to come back. Once they leave…it’s permanent. They f’d up and destroyed your family. Why would you EVER let them back????
It’s easier to say it this way. But you don’t know how human emotions and relationships are. Simply because someone walked away doesn’t mean you stop feeling for them
only know you love her, when you let her go…. it‘s a thing for sure❤
Become better, you'll attract better. That's what I learnt. I still want her back but I know deep inside it ain't gonna happen and even if it does is she really worth it?
the energy in this video definitely feels different!! thank you coach this was great
i knew the game and was always told "treat them mean, keep them keen".. and i cleaned up for year's..but then i met her...and unfortunately all the game in the world dont mean sh#t when you're madly in love..needless to say it didnt work out😂
Very good information. I don’t see him texting me any time soon, I failed nc terribly in the beginning I didn’t even know that was a thing. I lost my mind when he first left me, I went to his job and called him like 10 times. It took two months of him completely ignoring me for me to realize I was doing way too much and I was making myself sick. I’m much better now and I wish I had held it down sooner but, it’s cool 😊. I still love him endlessly ❤
My ex gf just unblocked me on Instagram after Ai chased her right after the break up. We’ve been broken up for over a yr now, but the fact that she unblocked me I feel like she wants me to reach out or she’s just stalking my profile. My life looks amazing since we were together, so maybe she’s too afraid I’ll reject her at this point 🤷🏿♂️
I’m so hurt omg ur videos are giving me confidence to be strong ❤
Long distance and no contact? Visiting and how to go about that, when you were the one seeing him for years… etc. Weren’t always long distance.. video for long distance
Agree.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
@@christopherrobinson-eb1in Really? How do i find one please?
@@tomasjohnson-pw7cg Her name is Susan Smith, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thanks Chris, really appreciate.
@@tomasjohnson-pw7cg Thanks guys, glad i could help.
Very very helpful. Thanks Much.You have saved me a lot of headache.
Can an ex be too proud to come back?
I know he still loves me (through a secure source), but he's also incredibly stubborn and haaates admitting he made a mistake.
This sounds like my ex gf
Sound like my ex
It might take them super long but they eventually will. Won’t be soon though
Sounds like my ex gf. We broke up a little over a year now and she unblocked me a few weeks ago after about 8/9 months since we last communicated. I’m in another country and my life has taken a total 180… I don’t know if she is going to reach out, but my life looks waaaay better than it did when I was with her and I think she’s hoping that I reach out.. but I won’t
This. Gives me Anxiety knowing that they’re stubborn and that I won’t hear from them even if that person is thinking of me…
Great content as it relates to human psychology and break up dynamics! Another Gem, sir!
I appreciate you! Thanks for watching 🙏
Why do they ghost? He says he doesn’t hate me………. but the ignoring when I tried to communicate, is the painful part.
I can’t help but to think of criminal activity when a mf play with me..
Yo I feel the same way but I can't let this mf trick me off the streets cuz I'm mad
It’s been like 2 months now, lost track of the days, she’s long distance too, idt she’s gonna reach out at this point, it’s so hard to reconcile with the distance too. Dam wish I didn’t get my hopes up for her so much. I’m recovering though. Focusing back on me.
Is cuddling before I move out considered relationship focused? I stopped begging about a week ago after I found your videos 😅 we’re cooking together tonight, when I asked her she said “oh, like old times? Yeah, that sounds good”
This is great information but what if you have serious issues with their behaviours and the trust is damaged that should be dealt with in therapy as you’re dealing with a serious avoidant ?.
Think about this…
The person you broke up with still has the character, beliefs, values and people that were there before you broke up!…
Children or not that hasn’t changed and it’s not your job to change them.
So true! Best to stay away and realize: the majority of people never ever change for the better!
Blac I need you to use more situations when kidssss are in the equation
The third video ever made on this channel, deals with that situation specifically
Also wanted to tell you that I ❤ your videos and they’ve been very very helpful during NC to bring him back and improve myself. Thank you!!
Coach Blac mannn I done ran my ex back into the forest😭. 2 1/2 yrs wasted smh I went 4 months dating her casually as we tried working on getting back. Then a huge argument occurred which led to the last 4 months being distant and now I officially started no contact after we came back from Drakes concert. Tbh I may need to book a call😕
Let’s go, I find these interesting
This is the exact situation i`am in right now , its a tough one but i`am happy am moving in the right direction,for your explanations have matched my moves ,thanks for this timely counsel.
My ex unblocked me almost a month ago and he is not contacting me 😭😭 what should I do I want my ex back please help me 🙏🏻😭
I should have seen this video a few days ago since I went on a very romantic date with my ex after a month of no contact and I said “relationship or nothing”. I think for women is more complicated bc I didn’t want him to get only sex from me since he still says he needs time to heal. I was thought “always believe a man if he says he doesn’t want a relationship” 😢
She unblocked me and told me she wanted to see "how i was doing". Said shes seeing somebody and wants to check in from time to time. Then i called the she forwared the call amd said she cant talk till tomorrow cus she was facetiming him lmao (it was only 6:30 pm) .......... I just ignored it and never called back . The games ppl play man lol
Hey Coach! 👋 I’ve watched all of your videos. But this particular video….i love the passion of it. You’re so animated. It’s great. Looking back in the relationships that I’ve had….this hit, hard. 💯% spot on. Thanks. Amazing message.
Please summarize for me
Friggin' saved, Love Doctor.
🤞🏿
I did this wrong .. We met again and he said he wanted everything, we worked out all the problems and then he got scared and bolted again saying he lost feelings.. Back in NC, very depressed, thought it would work out.. losing all hope soon.. :/
He’s msg: i hope all is well, have a good day!
I didn’t reply
I enjoy watching and learning from you 🙏👍
Applying this to my situation its been ten years and three small kids
All your videos are great but this one is especially so👍
Thanks for watching! 🤞🏿
I love watching you and listening to.
Thanks for watching! 🤞🏿
Thank you all I have to say 💯🙏🏽
What if the interactions aren't romance focussed and they're not even inviting you anywhere? Just messages asking about your cats 10 times and your job? I was doing so well doing NC and he was reaching out and i ended up messing up because i didnt know what to do. I handled it so well and was responding just mirroring and leaned back and being nice. It went on for weeks and every time he messaged a short conversation asking surface level stuff then dissaoearing for another week it was upsetting and hurting me. I ended up showing that and he dissappeared after basically shootung me down. I felt luke i went through the entire breakup again. I gave the opportunity to be hurt all over again. He wasn't trying to spend time with me, he just messaged for weeks asking about my cats then dissaoearing. Sigh.
Thank you for all that you do sir
Thanks for watching! I appreciate it
Thank you for your work 🥰🙏❤️
I got my Love back 😄😇🙏
You're THE MAN!.......................... COACH BLAC.....................
I love this, thank you.
Look one morning I woke up and looked at my wife and I said I wanna divorce .So when she moved out , I was hurt , then I started going over to her house , then I stopped make a long story short she texted me saying she in a relationship don't call or text then calls me the next day, I'm glad she got someone now I can be happy
Well my question is that if you’re seeing your ex again, and it’s not romantic, then this raises expectations that there will be a relationship again at some point. You’re just beating around the bush. I think what you’re referring to here is that I need to be hesitant and skeptical, thus my investment needs to be as low as humanly possible. I think the first meet-up should be dinner at my place. That’s the most investment I will make, and it also can be much more romantic than lunch or a group date. With the addition that it can lead to physicality.
Bingo! As long as it is low investment and not commitment focused. But still romantic, like dinner at your place then you are fine
Physicality is NOT a relationship or commitment
@@ordon3858 Hence the keyword is “can”. If both people are still attracted, and consent, then why not? I’m saying that probably won’t happen if it’s at lunch or in a group..
10years then she left . I wasn’t emotionally available for a lot of it , I wasn’t here for some serious life events that put her into a bad head space , I stopped being fun and had a lot of financial stress . She left me . “Couldn’t forgive “ me for not being there . I did 2months of no contact and I reached out, we had a some what good back and forth convo . She seems to have regret or questioning what she did , she is “so sorry “ we both started we won’t talk every day “yet” her words . We used to ride dirtbikes together , as quality time . Is is smart to ask her to go ride dirtbikes and take her for a quick dinner after words ?
I’ve been working on my self , out racing again , traveling , and doing me . Learning to be happy alone again as well .
Is going to a movie “romance?”
What if all the mistakes were made ? We've broke up 2 months ago . 1 month in after i begged and wasnt going over it we met and i started talking about the relationship. It eneded up with an argument He got up and left . Since then i haven't heard from him . Im doing NC but i dont think there is any chance left to get him back after ive made all the mistakes..😢 any advise?
Watch all the videos and recorded livestreams on this channel and you will be very clear about what to do next.
What if I put the pressure of rebuilding the relationship on her too soon? I took advice from some other guy and really regret it watching this now. I told her to stop contzcting me (She contacted me 3 times since no contact, to check up on me, and if I wanted any of my clothes back) unless it was about rebuilding our relationship. I then reached out a couple of weeks later and thanked her, becuase this breakup has been helping me find value in myself, and told her that i felt too harsh with putting that ultimatum on her. We talked back and forth about how we were doing, I told her how much ive improved in my life so far, and she seemed really happy for me, not considering getting back together, but in a friendly, standing on the sideline type of way. I dont know if I already messed up my chance with her, and its really only been 2 and a half months. Did I screw up big time?
Day 2 here we go
How’s your progress…? I’m on day one.
Coach, I wish you'd do a video about life-long avoidants. I watch your vids over and over, but none really touch on when the avoidants disappears for weeks/months, you get your fill and call it. I may have called it, but he abandoned me. Every time.
Kinda hard to do having kids with one another. I mean when I have free time she has the kids and when she has free time I have the kids. So bad idea to invite her along with me on an outing with the kids or invite over for dinner when I have the kids?
Good question!
Get a sitter or ask family to watch the kids. Ideally. If that can’t be done then yes a rare exception do things with the kids but still preferably in the evening.
Do at some point after dinner we put the kids to sleep and we have alone time. If this is sooo complicated and difficult to facilitate her attraction is still low.
And so what you will see is even when you ask to do dinner together with kids she will make excuses. If she does give suggestions you will notice it’s in the afternoon, away from the confines of your personal residence.
She is still inherently creating road blocks. Stop asking until the context is romance
This was so helpful. Thank you🤞🏻
Should I just give up on us and make it forever no contact? She's getting into her second rebound relationship literally befor the first one ended. She never took time off and healed from our relationship, but she did show signs that she still had feelings for me a month ago. (the mutual friend told me she was getting pissed and mad when ever she saw me in the hallways at school for no reason) Seeing as that was almost a month ago and she's hopping into another rebound as the first one ends (according to the mutual friend there just talking but not dating yet, Im not asking abt her this is just what the mutual friend tells me) leaves me thinking on weather I should just give up entirely on the idea of us ever talking again. Please help.
Yesterday my ex broke no contact asked to meet up and talk about our son of which I did and she told me I need to forgive her and the I told her I'll be going for an interview but I'm struggling with cash and she offered to give me cash of which I denied. And after the conversation we had I gave her a hug and kiss.... I don't know if I'm being weak or something because now I feel somehow please help
My gf just ended it as i messed up and got drunk and argumentive on the phone. We had a long distance relationship she said she'd call today and wants to pick her stuff up. I can't tell if she still ahs hope or not?
I appreciate this bro.
I like you! I like your work! Thank you!
Hello Coach Black, please let know if you break no contact, what should you do?
Will it work if they blocked you after an argument that took place after you had already fallen back when they pursued more due to a small dose of no contact. Going on almost 2 months of true no contact now
What would you suggest for a high quality interaction? What kind of experience would start in building it back up?
She left a damn vehicle at my house, I said in a text the day we broke up to they could send a designee to retrieve the key n fob… vehicle is still sitting on the street, parked, where they could get it… 7 weeks later. What am I to do? I sent a truce pic from church with an elderly woman we both know who had no internet skills telling her happy Easter. Didn’t even read… that was over 6 weeks ago… easy to not text at all for me… after rudely ignoring the elderly lady… but more wondering how I deal with this vehicle sitting here?
I’ll come get the vehicle, where you at 😂
Call the city and have it towed or ticketed if she doesn’t have the right sticker, depending on where you live some places need that sticker or can be considered abandoned if not registered to that city and have the right sticker
I keep asking this question what if she dump u and don't text me at all then what do I do even if I did stop trying for a response what do I do if she don't text call or respond if I did send text
My Relationship is over she lives in Miami now. I'm in Brooklyn NY
What if she doesn’t reach out but keeps liking depression posts and sad TikTok’s ? Been in no contact for about 3 months won’t even talk to me about our son?
If they seeing other people I let them do that. They ghosted me then hot fake restraining order then dropped the order then pop up its been 8 months why come back. Calling at My window. 7 phone conversations not once have they apologized. I wish I would give him access again he calls for days then missing in action were not children say what you want and move on. I'm too old for games and riddles. Go do what you chose to do. It's too late you should've came back long time ago.
What if an ex is planning to move out of state in a month can't find anything on the topic of exes moving. We just broke up a week ago and now he is planning on moving put of state
Mine came back from the rebound and then back to him again
I just want to say I miss my wife so much I've been in NC since a month more less awere Anniversary is coming up of 5 year marriage do I still do the NC thank you.
Remember what does reminding about an anniversary say about “relationship focus”?
If you are still legally married but separated it can be acknowledged but it will depend on how she currently treating you.
If you are already divorced definitely DO NOT recognize special dates.
Going on your message without much additional context my answer would be NO. Do not. If you want to talk in detail about it book a call
Good morning,I don't know if I messed up but yesterday April 1 i saw my wife car in an emergency hospital I stopped to see if everything was ok did I did Rong
Sounds good mate .was talking to my ex-girlfriend after the break up things didn't work .She stopped talking or seeing each other.she blocked me everywhere.we gone no contact now for 12 months now .can I still get her back ???
Very true , have been doing all this nosense after 2mouth breakup in the name of love to my surprise she text me she as lost interest and feeling in me . What next??
My ex hasn't changed at all after a year. It still hurts me because he is my true love and we have a child together. I'm very attached to him but he drives me crazy with the way he acts. I don't think he still loves me, even though I would want him to. How can you break away from someone you often see or write to because of the child?
Thank you 🙏🏽
3 and a half years together into my second week of no contact any advice?
What happens if she starts to fall for someone else during no contact. What’s the point if that happens?
So..... what happens now? He reached out after 5 months of silence, texted for about a month, then tells me to move on cuz he met someone else. About a month goes by and he starts calling, talking for hours at a time- enjoyable ( but he gets angry when I say I have dated when he asks) THEN he says we can't talk anymore cuz its hard for him and not respectful towards his girlfriend. We couldn't set a date because he is currently out of state, but I think returning within the next few months. Will he reach out again, if I stay no contact then I can implement these tactics?
He seems like avoidant type. He liked my Instagram story 2 days after he broke up saying he is not ready for serious relationship when we both agreed looking for serious relationship since date 1. What is going on 😂
When your ex move his new girlfriend into the house does it needs to he feel bad feeling for me even though he lives with his aunt and the girls into his
She wants me to go to church with her , we got kids together tho should I go ?
That’s definitely a no! Unless for a rare exception, you are married. Divorce is not yet final. So maybe just separated. You might consider things like this.
However for 99% of people this is a no
Hello @blacademic he said he doesn’t feel we are compatible because of personality traits I have. I severally asked him to tell me what those traits are so I can work on myself, he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me. After the back and forth he told me we should go a break for us to re-evaluate ourselves. I obliged him but told him for us to be on a break we need to b in no contact. He responded if this is what I want it’s fine. I was off for 28days. On Easter I took the courage to reach out to him for us to see and talk. He said he will get back to me on that. Is Tuesday haven’t had anything from him. Should I reach out again? Because we have issues that needs to be resolved
One month too late I think I ducked up and she probably won’t come to me twice
Wish coach covered long distance too
He does - it’s no different - face time = quality (when ex reaches out)
Watch all the videos and recorded livestreams on this channel and you will be very clear about what to do next.
My ex blocked me bcoz he interested now w/ someone else... Is it possible to he unblocked me?
Im less than 2 weeks since my breakup, and she has given me mixed emotions through some texts, we still have to give each other back some stuff we have from each other, should i keep no contact and get my things when we are ready to talk or should we exchange the things? Not sure if that would mess with no contact
Watch all the videos and recorded livestreams on this channel and you will be very clear about what to do next. Most of the time getting your things back, is an excuse to see them again and break no contact. Depending on the value of the items.