My Mom Keeps Asking Me for Money!
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My mother tried the same thing when I was 19 and driving a truck for a living. At 49, she decided I should be her surrogate husband and share my paychecks with her after years of her stealing my child support for herself. I kept my distance from then on.
I'd do what Ramsey suggested except for one thing. I wouldn't be so nice and say mum I love you and so on and so forth to soften the blow. I'd just tell her straight. Mum no I won't be giving you money. As Ramsey said then the guilting and shaming would start and be relentless. The answer would still be a succinct no.
I am almost 62, and I have been disabled since birth. My disabilities have gotten worse as I age, and I've been gainfully employed since the age of 22. There is no reason this mom can't work. Because she hasn't worked for years, she won't be able to retire at 65. She's done that herself.
Credit and respect to you! People don’t realised that the greatest privilege anyone can have is being able bodied.
@@Jigbunu
Usually it’s too late before they realize.
@@solarexcrement-he6qb how do you earn being born able bodied….
@@Jigbunuexactly... Not all disabled people can be able to do that! Just because some can ... Not All can! I'm disabled and started working again. Right now I'm only doing about 12 hrs a week. I'm in constant severe pain. I had to go back to work because of prices(inflation & price gouging) if I could afford not to work then I wouldn't. And my pain is getting more severe.
You’re amazing. Thank you for being so responsible and not living off tax payers. YOU deserve retirement asap!
To be honest, dealing with these kind of parents is a pain, If you are unfortunate to have a parent that depend on you financially and emotionally. I feel sorry for this young man going through this at 28, if the mom lives for another 40 years, imagine what his life will be like.
I am 30 years old with parents in their 50s in the same position too. I've bought them a house, a car and my dad loaned money off my uncle without me knowing. Now he has to pay it back and he's asking me for it. I'm so frustrated 😢
I felt that in the pit of my stomach! Sounds exactly like my family! The audacity blows my mind. I hope you get the courage to stop. I hope the same for myself. 😇
U can't participate I'm that level of stupidity
Yep , stop enabling her. Once you stop giving her money and stop answering her calls, she will have no choice but to go look for a job
Just. Say. No. They are adults. My wife is 64 and working. I'm 65 and working. She needs to work.
Point blank period..
My mom tries to guilt me weekly into giving her money, cleaning her house, doing her lawn work… you get it. Out of the 5 children she’s had, I’m the only one she tries to guilt because my husband has a good job and I am a nurse. When she hints, asks, begs I simply point out that she and my dad could afford to have people do things for her if they didn’t eat out twice a day. I also ask her if she’s asked any of my siblings for help. She always changes the subject and gets off the phone. Getting therapy for myself from my traumatic upbringing and keeping tight boundaries have saved my life. Do Not Feel Guilty By Saying NO!
As a disabled mom of 2 daughters i would be ashamed of myself!
Parents need to stop placing their financial and emotional burdens on their kids
"Why is she NOT working?" "There's not a good reason" Says it all!
The behavior of some parents leeching off their children is out of control. Take some damn personal responsibility for your life.
Hmmm so much for the tide pod generation not doing anything lol
im literally 29 with a 57 year old mom in the same position... huh, small world
A workers mom used his SSN to open credit cards in his name and maxed them all out. And he wont do anything about it cause “well its my mother” and he couch surfs cause his credit is so bad he cant find a place to live and has almost no money cause it all goes to debt. Its awful. His mom is a narcissist psychopath
Im 22 with very similar problem with both parents. Tough problem
21 been dealing with it since 16 ..its a tuff scenario
@@Necromancer1776 😢
You’re not being mean to his mom …YOU’RE STATING FACTS!!!
Tyler, standing your ground and securing a financial future for your family and not being an enabler is not being mean.
When I tell my story to people and share my WHY, my WHY is always, I DO NOT want to be a financial burden to my daughter
This sounds a lot like my mom. She and my sister lived with me in my 20s following my parents divorce, until my early 30s. They took advantage too much regardless of how she was encouraged to get carrer training and work full time. I had to sell my house and move someplace else to try to break from that living situation. I did not feel like kicking them out was going to work as they felt like it was their house also since they moved in when I bought it at 24 years old. I Gave them money from the house sale to buy a mobile home and moved to a different part of town. They both continued to do as little as possible to survive on there own asking for help often. My other brothers were not so inclined to help and made me the bad guy often. They left the mobile home fall in to disrepair to the extent that when she went into a nursing home 3 years ogo and my sister was to mentally ill to live on her own and keep up the place with out working either we got $1000 for the place. They still complain at me for having to sell the trailer. So boy I know what this guy is going through best of luck.
What we think is helping is enabling. Enabling makes us a worse enemy than letting them do for themselves.
@@mmp495 I agree with that. Once you realize that breaking it is difficult. They use guilt to keep trying to get what they want from you for years. The more boundaries you set the more they still try to up the game. My mom's started when my parents divorced and my sister was a teenager. My mom now lives on a nursing home. From there she's till tries to manipulate me to be responsible for my sister who is now 42. I feel bad but I can't keep it up. I have to keep saying no when it's necessary. Still seems like it won't end.
@@MrMikey1273 😢 Sorry for what you're having to go through with your mom.
Wow…why would you give them any money from the sale of your house??????
Baby!!
Why??! How did that come into your mind as an option? Like, what investment did they make into the home?
@joyhope9486 they made next to none. In fact a few times they did things to damage it like cause plumbing issues by putting things in the drains or toilet they would lie especially My sister and my mother would take up for her so they got away with out even acknowledging any responsibility. The deal really bought me my freedom from most of it all. The situation that really pushed me to end it was when my sister got pregnant to some guy. They tried to hide it as long as possible too. Then when the cat was out of the bag claimed they had to keep the kid and raise it at my house when they couldn't even clean up after themselves or pay their shares of the utilities. I put my foot down and said no. They said they wouldn't leave. So I gave them the choice cooperate with selling the house and moving somewhere on your own and I'll help you get a place you can afford or I will just move out stop paying the mortgage and let the place go to foreclosure and they would get nothing. They took the deal but barely kept their end of it.
It was nearly 20 years ago now and I have been able to move on and maintain my own home. I have a decent job with a pension, a 3 year old pick up that's nearly paid off and nearly 30k in the bank. I'm doing well. The child they couldn't provide proper care for and he was adopted by another family member and is doing well. My mom and sister did as little as they could to survive over the years. My mom has been in a nursing home now a few years unfortunately. My sister is with some guy and in and out of mental hospitals often. I feel like I've done so much more then I probably should have for them that probably true but it don't really care about the money now as I'm doing OK. The years with out them pulling me down has allowed me to be able to enjoy my life and success much more so I'm grateful for that.
My in-laws were penny less for the last ten years of their lives,my husband supported them including the funeral and burial, now I am doing my best to avoid the same thing that happened to us, so I’m am sixty seven still working!
He would be breaching his marital vows to give his mom money. Don’t do
That Tyler. I’m 57. I have chronic pain
Issues but I work. My husband owns a business and has heart issues so I work with him. The mother needs to work.
Don’t damage your marriage by enabling her
combined income doesn't matter here, money shouldn't be taken from the spouse to help the inlaws
I think this is a key cultural difference between American and immigrant families. Also (in my opinion) part of the reason why divorce rates are higher in the West.
There isn’t a “joining families” mindset. It’s “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours”.
Western men/women can’t fathom their money supporting their Spouse’s parent.
I don’t think it applies in this callers scenario but Just an observation from your comment
@@fightsportspace7327Absolutely agree, my grandmother took care of her grandfather and my mom took care of her mom. White people have no problem seeing their parents not taking care of they created nursing homes to dump them in.
@@fightsportspace7327kids in other cultures don’t want to support their parents, they do it because they have too because their parents have no safety net. People say “oh it’s the culture” but it’s a culture set up by adults that kids are pressured into.
You digust me.
@@TonyCox1351100% show me a 28 years that wants to fund a 57 years old life. His mother might live up to 90 years old.
It's not your responsibility to pay her bills.
I wouldn’t give this woman a dime. I’m 52 and have never not once asked my kids for money. Why is this kid doing this? It’s hard to feel sorry for him because he’s volunteering to be worked over.
Im over 57, went back to school for a new degree and career so I can keep going.
I love Dave’s logic. Tough love
You don't borrow money to Family, You give them money. Heard Dave Ramsey say this before, I've experienced it, do not do it!!! I learned the hard way, I do not borrow money out anymore.
You mean “loan money.” “Never loan money to family.”
@@Observe555It's fine, if you don't expect it back.
Sooner or later the man that called in is going to start really resenting his mom if she keeps asking him for money when she is capable of working and paying her own bills. It's also going to cause a problem between he and his wife if this isn't straightened out.
My husband supports his family in Nicaragua and that’s causing lots of issues in our marriage because I am the one paying for most of our home expenses. He has two jobs but never have money due to his family always calling asking for money. I really don’t know what to do because I know they are poor but also I know his family have good cellphones, have money for beers, for birthday’s celebrations, dressing good while we are here unhappy for all the stress this is causing.
I saw my parents doing exactly this for many many years ! We could not afford going on vacations as I saw them celebrating, going to the sea, buying expensive things and getting lazier and lazier and just asking for money. When my parents refused they were the bad guys. Now my parents have nearly no money saved up and approaching retirement. I don't want to see what's going to happen even though I know my brother and I will have to provide for them...
I’m very wary of this and will not marry someone who is the cash cow of the family
Because he is not supplementing their income or helping out. He is straight up supporting them and his dollars go far there but not here. So, their standard of living is much higher. He needs to pare it back to sustenance level assistance with a work requirement. $250 per month is all they should get. Period.
Your husband shouldn't have to raise his family. He's got a family of his own to raise. I'm sorry to put it this way, but most people in latin America who have relatives living in the US are just lazy to go get a job and face life, they want someone to come and make fix their problems. Don't keep bottling it up and talk to your husband about it. If there's no change from his end and you're tired of it, consider a divorce.
That’s not love at all
a man watching you break your back to pay bills while he doesn’t contribute, taking care of his family??? That sounds really hurtful
Besides my only child, I do not lend money out or co-sign for anything. Both my and my husband’s siblings are drug addicts. My mother is an enabler to the drug addicted. But who’s the bad person in her opinion, me! Nope, save yourself the headache. People come out of the woodwork’s when they know that your income is decent.
Love it - travel agent for guilt trips!
Sounds like my mom… she just calls me weak and says I’m not a man when I deny her 🤷♂️
Don’t even fall for the gaslighting. I will personally check her straight away. I will ask her why she is calling her weak son.
what an abusive mom! :(
Sounds like someone I'd try to have limited contact with... toxic
That’s called manipulation. Don’t fall for it.
This sounds like my mom. Her retirement plans is her 3 kids. She always compare us to her friends kids. I had enough and I told her « I never compare you ti the loving mom of my schools. I could do it. I didn’t coz I am respectful and appreciate what I have. Values that’s you didn’t teach me! » I never let my mom walk on my feets making our relationship harsh sometimes but her attitude towards me is much better than with my siblings.
My mother is the same her mask slipped a few years ago and freaked out that I didn’t own a home yet, meaning I wasn’t going to buy her one. She has no mortgage and is married. Yet she expects me to buy her a home? Speak about entitlement!
Sing,e moms always think their kids owe them retirement- you don’t.
My narc mother has a husband (not my father), no mortgage and still wants me to buy her a house lol she’s beyond entitled
For me it would depend. If my mother was ill or incapable of working, I would help her no question. In this case, it sounds like something happened. If the mother had a business, maybe she was just tired after the business ended and recovering. But recovering too long. I think helping in this case is covering a month, but helping hee tobimprove her well-being by getting work, or downsizing things, etc.
Stop, and she will start working. If not, tough luck.
Tough luck 😂😂
I wish he had said what her disability is. I was born with muscular dystrophy and I worked for age 16-48. Full time from 18-40 part time from 40-48. I’m now 52 and I planned ahead financially knowing at some point it would probably be hard to stay working.
You are right? You do not know what kind of disability she might have. I'm disabled from a car accident that leaves me inchronic daily pain. I worked..without disability checks...until I got my social security check ..at 70 I still have 2 small rental properties that I exclusively rent to talented handymen/women.Each property was about $18,000 ..cash..two years ago My rent is 50% below the lowest rent in town. It is enough to cover my groceries in inflationary times. I could always sell the properties for about $40,000 after tax profit. Modest, but I'm not calling my son for money. Sometimes you have to use your brain not your braun
@@Joce123but in this video the son said he doesn't know why she's not working, so we can assume she just doesn't want to work.
He said there was no reason for her to not be working
Its nice to help and support your relatives but a limit should always be clear
I am originally from Bolivia and my mom lives in Bolivia. She is 65 and is very sick. I have been providing for her since I’m 18 years old. In Spanish cultures this is the way we were taught to be. I’m not gonna pretend like it hasn’t put me in a bad spot… it has, but I’m just glad that I’m able to provide for her like she did for me. Even if she did work in Bolivia she would only make $200 a month MAX. I will not have my mom work at her age to make what I make in one month what I make in 3 hours.
How much do you send her
What if she hadn’t provided for you? Would you still send her money?
You’re seriously brainwashed
It's wonderful that you send her money being that she is old and maybe not in good health to work. I however feel like when she was able to work she probably should have and you should not have had to pay her bills. The money you earned and gave away whilst she was able to work you could have used for your family here and your future retirement investments.
That’s great. I am from Africa and the mission is to bring family to Europe or the US. Come here and earn for yourself
I’m 22 service member, mom is 55 and depends on her children. I helped her declare bankruptcy and she’s costed me tens of thousands of dollars. Me and my wife feel a bit of a burned she can’t seem to fix herself.. she’s picking up in age and problems keep developing so I feel like i ahve no choice. Me and my wife are drowning in debt.
Time for mommy to get a job or three!!
Not only does she not have money for now, but by not working, she is not adding to the social security pot that she will be receiving later. No, I don't advocate the idea of living off of social security, but as a recent retiree, it is nice to see that coming in to supplement my savings.
I'm 61, working full-time plus overtime. If I can do it, ANYONE CAN! This lady is using her son. Sad!
Do you have a disability?
I go through this issue with my mom, as a Christian she tends to throw biblical verses at me with honoring your mother and father. She gets social security for my brother, and dad. She works from time to time. When it comes to finances she’s bad at that. Wanting to spend money by going out. She is constantly asking for help from ALL her kids which is exhausting. I’ve told her many times that I’m the only one working in my household having to take care of my husband who suffered from a dangerous stroke. 😒
I wish they had asked how much he was giving her every month. Seems like the amount matters in ratio to your income. He said a house payment , so he's giving her like a thousand bucks a month or something? If he just helped out with a couple of bucks it doesn't seem as bad.
People say, “I feel led to” as a cop out. This puts the responsibility on God for “leading” him rather than his taking the responsibility for his own decision.
My mom is same way lower income and i left the house it bugs me everyday sometimes i pay light bill but i know she just getting by she has no debt thank god no car lease none of that
You have kids too,just remember what you give same comes back in future, did she got everything for you when you were kid or she didnt
Or did she come to Mr Ramsey before your parents did for u
No, she didn’t do everything for him or she would have been putting money aside and still be working currently. That would be doing everything for his “future” self by taking care of her own self
Mom needs to get a job. If she gets a job I’m at least willing to consider a conversation about helping her on top of that, but I’m not paying for her to sit on her butt.
Excellent point. If the mother were working full time, we could start in on the budgeting conversation.
Im 67 sellling my house and buying a bungalow, because bungalows are more expensive than houses i have to take a mortgage the bungalow needs wirk and once i get that done ill be paying it off as fast as i can
Send her a briefcase full of monopoly money and tell her how generous you are.
His Mom was in the housing business, and hasn't paid off her house.
A friend of mine had a mother like her and he indulged her refusal to work and save for retirement acepting his fate as his mother provider for life, mi friend died on a car crash, her mother found herself with zero income and not savings. Listen to Dave, if you love your mother stop this.
Did the mom die when the son died? I bet she’s still kicking it.
@@tracywalker244 No idea, I wasn't able to attend my friend funeral or contact anybody on his family, was long ago, no social media.
I could see $100 or so but the whole house payment and more.
What kind of car does she have? I hope it is comfy.
If she doesn't want a j-o-b then what are her plans for independence? Just giving because doesn't cut it.
I can see why that’s a hard thing to tell your Mom, but u can’t pay her bills… she’s just seeing if he will do it. She’s not old enough to start asking for help. She need to do something and she will like herself more..
The answer is no
Dave is out here preaching 👏💯
5 bucks says, Jimmy will disagree with Dave's advice!
HUG HER. Pray.
Children don’t ask to be born. Parents are responsible for their children. Not the other way around .
Life happens. Parents van get disabled and for sure am taking care of mine if that happens God for is.
@@sobeliever1638 In this case, the one that Dave's video is about, the son never said the woman is disabled though, and that she CAN work but apparently doesn't want to. That's very different than being disabled and can't work.
@@Sheryl777Sometimes older adults don't know how to get a job with the new employment opportunities.
It is not like the old days when you could just go into apply for a job in person and with a good presentation be hired on the spot we did not have to do drug testing or have our credit bureau scores checked...omg ..lol.. I NEVER ASK MY KIDS FOR MONEY... I'M OK. She probably has fears about the process..or stamina limits. My son wants me to answer surveys all day..Oh. Just shoot me. Boring and lonely. Covid is still a problem in Minneapolis ..and I am a high risk because of open heart surgery.
@@Joce123 I can completely understand what you are saying and yes in many cases what you said is true for people, especially older people. I know that is true a lot of times for them.
I admit that I am sort of biased because I had a "friend" if you could call her that who used people all the time to get what she needed, and in one way I understood it, but in another way I began to resent that she never even really tried to help herself. I know now that she had some pretty bad mental issues, which I suspected at the time, but her mental issues were bad enough that they kept her from working or even trying to find a part time job.
In spite of that, I felt that I still couldn't continue to be one of the people who kept supporting her though. (There was a group of us). I have a family I need to take care of too, so it just wasn't possible for me to help her any longer. I think I fell into that situation in the beginning, not realizing what all was involved, but now I know better. Only thing is it's made me very wary of anyone who begs others for things. I guess that is understandable though after the bad time I went through in that situation.
While dave ramsey's plan is great, we ask you stay home if your on it. We do not want to pick up the tab and pay for you because you're free loading.
My mom just used 800$ to pay my grandmas car insurance behind by back with out permission keep in mind she already has 1.5k in credit card debt in my name then used another credit card and almost maxed it out now she’s over 2k in debt in my name without my wear abouts and she’s already in bankruptcy
I am living that situation rn, I want to gift my mom sometime but every time she need money I want to travel but I can’t because my mum just asked again and when I can’t she ask other people and get humiliated 😢 or men leave her but she refuses to leave her job who don’t pay her good, I am so disappointed 😔
I always wonder in these situations...what's so terrible about having a job?
Sometimes it's trauma
most of the time its not possible such as my mom not able bc she had kids late in life outta wedlock
My dad specially in same situation, he makes money 💰 and go to batches, when he s run off money 💰 he asks his children 😂he s just headache
yeah move on. i betcha she finds another sucker if she doesn't improve. these people always do. they just take.
American salaries are insane.
In the UK, its entirely different. People don't typically break 6 figures in any regular job u til they're much older.
I don't know how these two kids in their mid 20s are worth a quarter million a year. Crazy.
My mom just ask me for money. N she’s not working
Same here, it just happened to me too
Making 250k, just give her 1k or 2 every month, thats what asians do
Asian parents don’t work?
Well that's women and some men. She will continue to do that until you stop. Users use people.
Some women and some men!
@@ykook7000 Most women will take what they can get from men in their life. Sons included. It goes back to evolution and the way our species and most species evolved. It's called Briffault Law.
@@djpuplexsounds like something to share with a therapist.
@@superblump87 Briffault’s law maintains that “the female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.” Today we would say “relationship” rather than “association.”
I see a lot of comments on not taking care of elders. There was nothing stated here that she needed it. Helping your elders is an honorable thing to do, but taking such a large part of someone's life from them is not honoring or helping your elders. Working is not just about money. Working can bring you meaning, make you feel valuable, adds to society, etc. Sitting around will kill you mentally and physically. So yes, take care of your elders, but have enough respect to let them care for themselves if possible.
Agree
Indeed.
Many don’t understand this.
My mom is happy and still doing her thing in her own home long after dad passed and preferred living alone. You can visit her but when it’s time for you to leave she means it.
She’s just older not handicapped and helpless.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 This sounds like my mom🤗
How is this, respectfully, not too bright sounding 28 year old making a quarter million dollars a year? How??? It’s so fascinating how much money Americans make… you would not see these kinds of sums in Europe….
As an African we have parents especially mothers whom ends up getting children and don’t do anything for herself because they know there retirement plan is there children we call it ‘Black tax’ you find sometimes you got a job abroad or locally but all the money you make ends up to sustain your parents basic needs and luxury needs. Because they think since they raised you up they expect you return that favour to pump them with money. That’s my story with my mum very narcissistic and I said NO!! But she has a lot of guilt trip. She wants me to build for her a house, but for her a car and some monthly allowances and when you refuse she start using religion cards of you should honour and respect your parents….. that saying no is disrespecting her. She does get money from her business but her money is her money and I need to understand she has needs to do with her money I tell her she can purchase something for retirement she rebuke me but my worries is when she became at her old age she won’t have a place but she doing this because she expect me to help her. She is 56years and I have a brother who is her favourite when it comes to him I need to understand he has stuff to do with his money but my money I need to share with her.
May God give you wisdom in this difficult situation.
@mwas4299 😢
If you go back a year or more with Ramsey videos you will see in the comments majority here say having kids is for taking care of them when older.
I’m not kidding.
Same fcking issue I'm dealing with a Liberian mother, I'm not even finically stable but she guilt trip me every day asking for money. ' I born you and took care of you how many years? 'why does my children don't want to be with me?' Do you want to see me on the street begging people?' Omg I don't know what I should do, we can't even have bond and have a conversation without her begging me for money smh 🤦♂
She likely wants him to pay off the mortgage, that by keep asking him for the monthly payment, he'll get so sick of it, that he'll just pay it out. Or he'll offer her to move in with them. I highly doubt plan C or D is getting a job.
“Sure thing mom, but let’s paper this first. In exchange for you living there rent free, I’ll assume title to the house and we’ll have the bank transfer the mortgage to me.”
@@Observe555 be smart of him, but doubt he'd do it. She'd likely use his wife as the reason not to.
The mom sounds like a deadbeat if she isn't working.
Don't be a bank to someone who wants to mooch off nice guys. It's not love. She's young enough to be working and supporting herself. Children should not be expected to support parents financially. Set your boundaries! She'll take as much as you will give and it will never be enough.
@carlaritchie331 👍
Do not lend her anything, If you can afford it, Pay the house payment, do not give her any money.
Isn’t that enabling as well?
That IS giving her money.
No that is keeping her from not being homeless .their income is 260 they can afford it.
@@sobeliever1638White peoples don’t care if their parents end up in a nursing home or shelter
@@sobeliever1638lazy leeches deserve nothing
Ooo did he say trifling mother?? 👀
Lit ep
There are a ton of jobs out there. She can even work a job from home.
Goodness god save your marriage before it’s too late
My mom works and still expects my money and she feels like she does alot for me even though its not what i want and i only get ssi i make like $11,316 a year she makes $67,000 a year im 27 shes 58 by the way
Try 24 with a 60 year old mom
She definitely looks at Tyler like
Tyler’s Bank
Bank of Tyler
That's what I don't like about US and Americans. Its considered fortunate to take care of parents in old age, especially after 50+ age. May be cultural differences..
It’s cultural and economical. It’s not mandatory to be poor here. We have choices,benefits, and options.
Nowadays most 50 and 60 year old aren’t really old in the U.S.. They aren’t broken down,handicapped,and sickly here. Many still prefer to have jobs and do physical things in life without the unnecessary help of others.
They still drive cars in their 70s and whatnot.
My mom is 101. She does her thing cooking, gardening,morning tea and newspaper, online gaming,talking and gossiping, etc. but she was over 80 when she wanted or needed help.
Heck one of my sisters live with mom now but mom still has her own concierge physician,grocery delivery, and whatnot with a computer and wide screen setup to make a teen green with envy.
There’s a difference between taking care of your parents when they can’t take care of themselves, and being taken advantage of. In America we are fortunate to have a system where we can create wealth. We are suppose to make smart decisions so our kids don’t have to take care of us and focus on their family and wealth creating, so their kids don’t of to take care of them.
I see how Indian families live. Multiple generations living in the same house. That’s not how Americans live. It’s one thing supporting a parent who lives with you, but completely different supporting one who has their own home (house, apartment, etc).
✝️
Unfortunately your mom is a leech don't give her any money and she'll have no choice but to go get a job and pay her own bills or she can go on Section 8 live there because if you keep giving her money you're taking it away from your family and it's going to end your marriage because your wife will get sick of it my last relationship that I was engaged to a guy who gave his parents money because they would whine and complain they can't pay bills or get groceries we were together for about 5 years and engaged and he constantly gave them money because they manipulated him into feeling sorry for them and ultimately it ruin the relationship so it will happen your wife will leave you if you continue to do this and my current husband his mother is the same exact as yours she's a leech she asked her kids for money and to help her pay her bills and everyone says no and my husband says no and doesn't give her money he prioritizes our life our finances and that's what you need to do
If you can, arrange to set her down with a budget form and go through her finances with her. See where she can cut back on spending. That will help more than just giving her money. If your wife agrees, give her money to cover expenses for a month then give her no more money.
That's my thinking. You don't want her to be put on the street with an abrupt "NO". If he decides to help her out in a crisis it needs to be with the condition that she'll sit down with him and budget together or brainstorm jobs for her and even do a monthly review to make sure she stays on track. That's what good parents do with their teenagers to prevent this kind of thing.
I agree with the advice, but let’s pretend she doesn’t get a job right away. How many mortgage and other payments do you allow to be late? Would’ve liked to have heard that addressed.
Geez, which one is the Millennial here?
It's really sad when a parent expects a child to take care of them. If she doesn't like or accept any finance lessons from you, then just tell her "good luck" and go home.
I think that’s why many call their children a “ blessing”. Reason to have kids is to take care of them.
Do not give "Mommy" any money.
Where is his Dad in all this?
Somewhere protecting his sanity and money.
Absolutely , where is dad?
mY mom and dad asked me for $ until they passed. 98% 0f the timed I did . I finally moved them to a nicer cheaper apt and they were fine. :)
I bet you're in a better financial place now than you was even back then
@@midwestpanther98God bless her
yes I'am, PRAISE GOD :)
Curious? What cultural background? That can make a difference.
I wish to goodness I had had the wherewithal to make my Mom's life easier as she got older. She kinda supported me as I got older, once upon a time. I did chores, repaired things, built things as I was capable, helped her in any way that I could, and not complain about it then or now. And now that she's gone, I have no regrets!! - Quarter million income is certainly enough to help her out big time without whining about it!! Disappointed in you, Dave. You of all people should be promoting more respect for our parents, might even improve our country somewhat! I hope you can see that a 'willingness to help' is a better way to live than 'greedy little fists full of cash'!
And isn’t he always telling people to give like no one else? I guess just to the church and not to your family.
It's an entirely different if the person is capable of supporting themselves but choses not to. Just as a parent shouldn't carry a lazy child, the child shouldn't carry a parent who choses not to be self supporting.
You give her money....become her bank.
If 10% of income ($25,000/year) goes to tithing… that would fully support the mother I’m sure!
You must not be white because white peoples don’t think like this . Most of them believe in dumping their parents in a shelter or nursing home instead of honoring them.
One thing I don’t understand about Dave Ramsey (not saying it applies to this caller), is he always preaches about “live like no one else so you can give like no one else”
But whenever a caller says their Mom/Dad/relative is asking for money that goes out the window (even when the parent is old age)😂
If you shouldn’t give to your mother who raised you, who are you giving to?
American mindset is different🤦♂️
First you have to be financially independent before you can give like no one else.
@@superblump87 I know… that’s why the quote starts off as “live like no one else” AKA become financially independent.
@@fightsportspace7327 then why did you make your comment?
@@superblump87 For the same reason you made your comment
@fightsportspace7327 what? The person that called isn't financially independent. That's why Dave says to not financially support his mom. I answered your question. If you already knew that, then why did you ask the question?
This segment was gold I wish I could like this video more than once.
It sounds like she only asked him 1 time.
If she was not work for a long time, then how come she never asked him before?
Sounds like she was working, but he didn't know.
Dave goes right to the parent hating?
There's lots of information missing.
You think this guy would call Dave if this wasn’t happening consistently?
No it sounds like mommy want a 28 year old married man with a family to take care of her at her age. You are not listening he already knows she is going to come back and ask for assistance. It sounds like she has already hit the other kids up
@jimmymcgill6778, whatever she was doing before doesn't sustain her now because she's asking her son for money. The bottom line is, she needs to get a job to take care of her own expenses (in 30 days they're going to be due again). Her son is not her guardian.
This is one of the areas Dave is right about. No one is obligated ever to help their parents especially financially. She's mooching off him and just hearing his voice and demeanor, he's easy to be taken advantage of or manipulated. Grow a backbone and say no. She gets out of his life, then good.
@@Jay-om8gr He said she ask him only 1 time.
Western societies don't take care of their elders.
She is 57 and lazy. I would have no problem helping my parents if they were working and struggling. But someone who being lazy and sitting on their ass doesn't deserve help.
My responsibility is to take care of my children, not my parents.
Taking care of a 50 year old? 😂
Ok, so compare life expectancies of some western nations (US, Canada, UK) to some of the eastern countries like China, North Korea, Uganda etc.
Your culture says take care of your parents even if they abused you.
What a great l video! I also agree that it will probably come down to the wife, and the mom. Who do you live with? It’s toxic with leech sucking adults ❤
62.5 percent of Americans from 18 years old to 65 years old work per the federal reserve.
How does that add up to a national unemployment rate of 3.9%?
@@NotKimiRaikkonenProbably because the government doesn’t count those that don’t WANT to work. They call it “not currently looking for work”. The rest are probably housewives or retired. Politicians can get any employment number they want within reason. They know your eyes and ears don’t lie.
His mom is lazy. Im guessing his dad is no longer in the picture
He got out of dodge.
@@glidkomer Probably in a Chrysler
@@alinatamashevich3354 Yeah, the Ram 1500 TRX big body, I'd bet money on it.
😢😢I earned my retirement with 50 years of working.
Slacker, get back in there! The freeloaders need you.
im a stay at home wife and mom currently. We own a home with siblings who havent found a spouse yet so it works and i do everything at home. But I assume at some point even if its only once children are grown or mostly grown ill be working doing something cause life is expensive and my hubby is working all the time and i should help however i can and we figure out old age as we go
there is a time and place in your life to help who you can when you can if you can, this may not be one of those times.
Imagine being 28 and being stuck on your parents mortgage and paying for three months in a row, can’t afford to move out and parents not wanting to refuse to get me off because they don’t want to pay higher interest rate. Suicidal thoughts are rampant in my mind.
Stop paying and move out.
@@superblump87To where?
@@glidkomer an apartment.
Are you an owner or just on the mortgage? Talk to a real estate attorney to see about filing suit to force the sale.
@@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries that may need to be my option. I don’t want to move out then have my credit get destroyed when they can’t make the payment while I’m on my own and bring me down too.