Mother In Law Keeps Asking Us For Money!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มิ.ย. 2018
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I am so happy he muted her.
And now I understand .LOL
Right! She was making all kinds of excuses.
AMEN
Some people want help and some want to complain and want justification for their poor decisions or acting on their logic. I can tell in the manner that she shared information, this was more of a call to complain about her MIL (notice how many times she says her MIL has nothing saved) than it was to get Dave's advice. The reason why I like this show is because he turned it around and created a teaching moment.
Me too! She was unwilling to listen.
“People who have money problems, after you help them, keep on having more money problems.” Relatable 😒😔
Yessie N their money problems are their money problems
Need to tell that to all the socialists/communists that follow Bernie Sanders lol.
Bingo. Giving people money so they can blow through it isn’t solving the root problem. They aren’t responsible. You can give a responsible person a grand and they’ll turn it into a million. You can give an irresponsible person a million and they’ll turn it into a grand.
@@hothotheat3000 they will probably be in 50 k debt. 🙂
Exactly. And these same people are willing to bleed you dry. They won’t lose a seconds sleep if they burn through everything you’re trying to put away for retirement as you have to keep working in what should be your “Golden Years”.
It always amazes me how easily people ask for money. I would have to be borderline homeless to ask any of my family for money...
Fact
Agreed. Indeed mindblowing. People don't seem to have a sense of responsibility to provide for themselves (parents of grow up children), and no shame to ask others, especially their kids or siblings for money. I was just viewing this other video where inlaws are demanding money from their daughter and her husband, who have a young family with three little kids. In-laws haven't saved for retirement and are not working in their late fifties. Pressuring the son-in-law who has a young family.. I am so happy with the advice Mr. Ramsey gave. If you help some of these people (parents, in-laws etc), it is just enabling them and perpetuating the situation.
Same for Family and friends. I would need to have exhausted all avenues to pay off a debt that cannot be written off before asking someone for a loan.
I would also never borrow money for superficial things or expect anyone to correct any financial mistakes
Same here. Exactly.
Agreed. If I were single with no kids, I would live under a bridge before I asked for money.
A good example of why poor families remain poor generationally.
You NAILED it!
Stupidity?
You're so right.
@@anthonymarino7718 that selfishness
Dave hit that button like he was on family fued 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
IKR?! Boy, he’s softened up….
He hit that button like a boss
he did, 💯👏👌👍😭😭🤣😆😅😂💀💀💀💀 she was probably still telling her story, and never caught on he cut her off.
Haaaaa !!!! Love your comment !!!! Hit that button like a Boss !!!! like a hovering helicopter and then Bam !!!!!
But he is the boss
Dave: “now it’s my turn to talk”....LOVE IT 😂
"Well.. Kinda!.."
Dave: "Nooo... 👇🏼📠"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
😭😭😭😂😂😂
These people need to stop interrupting. If you’re calling for his advice, then shut it and listen.
Im calling 📞
But they want him to tell them what they want him to say. Acknowledging their truth the THE truth.
She was so busy arguing with Dave that she never actually asked a question!
She never put any money away for retirement - that sounds like a HER problem. Should have planned better.
Rob L - “That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”
Exactly
Also sounds like a "mom and her husband" problem. If shes widowed, her husband should have been part of the planning. If divorced, she may have had a lousy lawyer. And any woman who stays out of the workforce.for longer than 5 years, max, was an idiot. No sympathy there, the 1950s ended some time ago.
Now its my turn to talk.
Wow nicer than I thought he would be.
This gal wasn't telling the full story. Made excuses for absolutely everything and just wouldn't stop.
@Brooks Lee 😂
Why even call 🙄
Oooommmmggggg LOL...does she want advice or just want to vent🤯..🤐🤫🤐🤫🤐🤫 Let him talk😂.
Seriously lol
Yea, she seems like a really really sweet lady. She’s probably trying not to think anything bad about her mother-in-law so she keeps on trying to explain away the bad behavior. But Dave grabbed the bull by the horn‘s and said “ nope your MIL is a bad lady!”
TRUE
VENT👎
Oooooommmmmmhhjjwjskwwwwewioko
I never understood how people will call the show asking for his advice, but won’t shut up long enough to let him get a word in. Do you want his help or not??
Happens all the time InDatParish...I don't get it either. Makes me think she isn't going to take Dave's advice and why is SHE calling? Bet her husband told her he isn't going to listen to Dave but deal with his mother his way.
I've got a friend like that xD: constantly askes for my advise but doesn't shut up Long enough to actually get an answer. Some people just want to complain...
They think if they could just explain it, Dave would understand why it's not their fault.
they don't REALLY want his advice, he just wants them to say what they're doing is right. People. 🙄
Caller wanted Dave to lambast her mother-in-law on the show, so that she could shame her. And Dave wasn't having any of that, because the caller & her husband was the one enabling this dysfunctional situation.
Sounds like a sibling of mine. Not very good with money. I offered to send my sibling to FPU, my treat. Was told to mind my own business. OK, not a problem.
jvolstad
Bought my sister a brand new Kia Optima then her and my brother in law traded it in to finance a 45k dollar SUV, then got the new SUV repossessed in under 6 months. How's that for trying to do a nice thing? Your idea was great, I should've just done that.
Jedi Luke should have just lend them the car instead of giving to them.
I have a sibling like this to every time they get a little money I tell em to save it and they spend it like it on fire. Then tell me I'm luckey but I don't have a 60 in tv a new truck a 2500 couch and much more all bought on credit. Then when I try to give advice I'm told you don't understand I work hard I deserve all this stuff like i don't work hard.
And when that sibling finds themselves in a bind and turns to you for help make sure you tell them you can’t help because you’re too busy minding your business.
"If you don't get ashamed to ask for money it doesn't shame me to say no"
Oof
I love this reply.
“Now it’s my time to talk “🤣🤣🤣
That sent me 🤣🤣🤣
Ohhh I could tell the mute button was coming lol
I am going through the same thing too. Young lady, please listen to Dave if you do not want to end up broke yourself. Trust him and me on this. You have to exhibit some tough love. Your mother-in-law is abusing her position as his mother. I am not judging you at all. I have gone through a similar circumstance. Your husband and you have to take a stand. Plus, it's not your responsibility to take care of her. Good luck
Ugogidjhdodhdbdohjdjhnsodhbkhdidhbdigdhodghrodhdvjdgdohddjjrhrjjdhdjvidhfjdohdhkxhdifkhdhshrvodhrjjdvhidhehehejdgjvddkhdbdkdiegjehrghegeodgrg eirhrkjege je iuru 9ri
J Wood That's right! They don't have any legal obligation to take care of his Mother
J Wood I can see if she wasn't physically able to take care of herself. You and your Husband are being used. Be careful
Rebekah Hebbert totally
Dave is absolutely correct. I had to monetarily cut off a couple of my brothers that were using their money to fund their entertainment and would ask the family for help when the children had various needs or a utility bill needed to be paid. Honestly, who is going to allow their nieces and nephews to sit in the dark or be cold because their parent made a stupid decision. I made sure that they understood that if I have to figure out how to cover my bills then they would have to do the same and I would CONSIDER helping with emergencies. After saying no a few times and them seeing that I was serious the requests stopped coming through.
His mom is a sponger. They need to take care of themselves first and then if they want, help her later. This will only get worse as she gets older.
Thank you!! For the past 13 years I have supported my husband in “helping” his very young parents with thousands per month. I told him we must stop today and he didn’t agree. Still gave money away. I was wondering if I was wrong. First video I watched regarding this situation, just had to share I am feeling validated in my stance.
Well you married into that. You are correct, but there's no win scenario for you in this. I guess talking to him so more and letting him know how you feel as his wife in this scenario is the only option. Once you are rich or wealthy, take care of whomever you want but most of these callers are just like us, some great salaries some average. You can't make $4000 a month and give $2000 away to a relative who is an adult and does nothing. That's only ok during emergencies, like if they are sick or such but not able bodied and just mooching. And you said "parents" meaning his dad also. His dad should be upset with himself not being able to provide and turned that around quick fast.
Mr Fred Thank you for your advice and time in giving me your input. You are right, and it drastically changed. Back then when I wrote the comment was the breaking point where I was about to call it quits if it did not stop. I had to do without ALOT in order to be able to send them money his dad (they are divorced) was broke due to divorce and my husband volunteered him a used car that we made payments on. However, his mom is the problem she is just a manipulative negative person that always needs. Every time she called, was to beg for money. Every time we called she begged for money when she really didn’t need it as a necessity. So basically what happened was I told my husband the way I saw this was affecting us as a family. Our 2 kids were sleeping on a twin mattress, and they weren’t fitting on it anymore. And we couldn’t afford them two beds. Our second had washer and dryer were malfunctioning, my stove oven wasn’t working... I mean it all hit me and I had to point it out to my husband. That you know, we needed some help ourselves, and we had an obligation to us first. And the fact that we couldn’t AFFORD to live comfortably and our biggest non necessary expense was (I mean it respectfully) his parents.
And then I thought, that my parents are about 20 years older than his parents and they never ask us for anything, I wouldn’t even imagine my elderly folks asking for help, in this time 2020 my 70 year old mom is sowing face masks and she gives them away and if people offer to pay she sells them at $1 each.
So, what happened long story short is that my husband stopped contributing to his mom after our argument. Now she is furious, and manipulatively sends threads of texts saying how much my husband will regret it when she dies. You know, playing with his consciousness. Thank God, my husband is the one that told me that his mom tried to “ manipulate “ him, and I did not disagree with him.
However, when he blew on me that he wouldn’t stop sending them money, I very much needed this video to know I wasn’t being selfish, greedy, nor unreasonable . 😊
You're not being greedy. I know someone in a 3rd world country who feeds the neighbors kids first. His kids grew up to resent him. You owe your kids b4 any adults. Ps it's spelled conscience, not conscious. Congratulations on standing up. You can be proud
Get a divorce from this enabler.
I took the financial peace class, and they said its OK to say no.
So.....say NO!
Buy her a copy of financial peace, a 25lb bag of rice and a 25 lb bag of pintos. And because we care here is some beanno.
When you get tired of rice snd beans, put the beans on the bottom. I think you will find, it really does change the flavor.
cruciferousvegetable lmao!!!!😂
Hahahaha. Love your comment.
I actually really like rice and beans
cruciferousvegetable too funny 😂
😂😂😂
I've learned the hard way that, the longer you allow relatives to take financial advantage of you, the harder it'll be when you finally hit that breaking point and cut them off. I hope this woman takes Dave's advice to heart before her mother in law destroys both her finances and her marriage
"Failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute and emergency on mine" Mom needs to be more responsible for money.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
“It’s my turn to talk” 😂😂😂😂
Sounds like Mom qualifies as your dependent.
😂😂😁😂
Ain’t that a turn of events 🤣🤣🤣
Never fails to amaze me how much people who call up keep defending themselves and their family members and twisting the direct question Dave asks.
She and the husband will probably give the money and then bitch about it. There is a sucker born every minute.
The lady voice was so annoying imagine her in a argument
imagine being married to this one
He has.....
MILWAUKEE WISCONSIN Imagine living with her and that annoying car alarm voice.😂
Dave is blunt and to the point, honest and sincere and gives great advice
I wonder if the callers know when theyre muted or if they just keep talking and wondering why he doesnt stop lol
61 is too young to retire. Im 68 and still working.
I am 62 and I am changing the way I work but I still eork.
I work at 67
My grandmother retired at 60, she's now 76 and suffering from cancer. Retire when you're able to financially, while you have your health and hobbies to enjoy. No day is promised, life can change in the blink of an eye. Enjoy each day of your life.
Kaylon Centers right i retired at 62 from my full time job and i work part time....2 days a week....i love the social part and am pretty healthy too
@@sheilawarner9550 Hope you have at least thirty more years of good health and life ahead of you.
Idk how Dave has the patience to deal with people like her.
A mute button makes it possible
Bible helps
This just gave me the answer i was looking for with my mom
Fabulous
Me too
@@dwanequamurphy4087 you are
It's been a year since you wrote this comment. Any progress?
@@Andrew--S might be reading your comment as the thoughts of (ok this year Im really serious)
The mom is not your responsibility period
This is going to be a future situation for my husband and I. Thank God my husband has a backbone and tells his mom no if she asks to borrow money. Which she has several times in the 2 years we've been married. I hope she gets the hint that we cannot help her. In addition, do not mention money with these type of people. If they even believe you've got a little something they'll try and take it. NO isn't hard to say.
You'd be amazed how quickly people will solve their own money problems when you stop giving them *your* money.
Thank You for muting her out Dave . She wanted sympathy rather than advice .
Being in the military i can confess people ask for money alot especially family.. and tbh im not ashamed to say no every time. Me and my wife have 18 grand in savings and im not even on my second enlistment. Ive told her i dont loan money to people it isnt my problem. I know that is cold hearted but its not my issue
Creed Bratton I agree
"...Its not my issue." I love that line.
Congrats on being able to say NO!! It is hard for some
Creed Bratton totally agree! That's what banks are for!
Im sure it took years to save that money and who ever you lend it to will spend it in minutes anyway 😏
Never been so grateful for amazing in-laws. What a blessing.
I literally thanked God when he muted her. You called for advice not a venting session.
If the sister in law is so set on keeping mom's finances secret, I'm betting at some point SIL owes Mom, and hasn't paid it back
All it takes is one abusive sibling to make the parent's nest egg disappear.
Yeah, the vibe I was getting was that the SIL was somehow winding up with a bunch of Mom's money and they didn't want the caller & her husband to know.
@@racheldavin7763 totally agree. SIL is probably mooching off of mom. And then expect her brother and his wife to help out mom. Definitely wouldn't pay for the mother in laws car until I know where her money is going. But we know, straight to the SIL.
1. She saved no money over the course of her whole life
2. She pushes off all of her bills on other people
3. She works but wont work enough to pay her bills
Ruger offers health insurance and 401k. Of course we don"t know how long Mother has been working there....
Pistol-assembling mama! (in-law).
Dumping max into 410k... that is why she is short miney
Maybe she has a ton of garnishments on her wages
I just looked at the Sturm Ruger job site. His guess of $30,000 annual earnings, more or less, is right.
Dental is not frickin cheap. You must have had decent insurance. Most don't have insurance anymore. Different ballgame when you're cash paying.
That's if she works on the line. Probably at her age, most likely, in an office of some sort. Making at least 39 to 45 thousand, maybe more.
This woman's mother is my in-laws 10X. We have never given them money and will never give them money, but I love his response. I love helping people, but giving people that are bad with money more money is never allowing them to face the hard facts of fixing their own problem. They never get to grow up if they don't have the experience of being financially responsible.
“Now it’s my turn to talk.” *Drops the mic*
I just wanna say..my dad's mother would always ask him for money. It always caused a giant fight between my parents. When she passed..they found that she was hiding stacks and stacks of cash from even my grandpa.. her husband . Just keep this in mind people in general.
“Now it’s my turn to talk” Hahahahahaha
Thug life 😎
The problem with this is it's the daughter in law that's asking for help, not the son. Nothing will get done.
I'm surprised Dave didn't tell the caller "You need to stop talking." She wouldn't shut up long enough to listen.
Every gun manufacturing plant in the USA I know pays WELL above the average wage in the area.
Sounds like she’s defending her mother in law actions
Good Dave. How are you gonna call an expert for advice and then interrupt his advice and dispute it?
My mother once tried to be like that and i said this "I love you, you are my mother but you are a grown up adult and your financial problems are your sole responsibility, you will not be a burden to me or a problem to my family. If you are ever homeless, i will pick you up from the streets but if you want to be part of my family, you will never call me with your money issues again" needless to say she has never asked me for money again
The fact that people think they have to financially care for someone who was irresponsible with their money is ridiculous.
Jeezzzus lady let the man talk!
Free loading mother in laws
Full disclosure of finances is a must to help.
One thing I've learned from watching these videos is how much having a generally annoying personality can get in the way of dealing with seemingly unrelated problems.
Just listen lady. Even if Dave is off on something.....just listen and explain further afterwards.
"Now it's my turn to talk"
💯👌👏👍😭😭😂😅😆🤣💀💀💀💀
After listening for the past weeks, used to listen 15 years ago in Atlanta. I am so suprise to hear from the college graduates that have so much in student loans , car payment it is so sad . Myself I am 63 and on SS, and wife 78 on SS we are 6 payment from paying off land we are buying in Florida. I am so grateful for your book I read 10 years ago. We have assets and land that's payed off .
So many people are living in the streets in cars , RV and will never own any thing .
Thank you for your Service
To all callers: When Dave speaks you better be quiet.
Sounds like DIL has some serious issues herself.
When he hit that mute button I was so thankful
My mom is a pain pill addict and a compulsive shopper and hoarder who spends money on scratch off tickets. She once expected me to buy her a Lexus SUV, I told her repeatedly about her reckless spending but she never listened. Many of us that have lots of savings are good enough to take money from but not advice
If you help someone out of a financial jam, they will remember to come to you the next times they are in another jam.
Dave is right!! My father taught us this about life situations and loaning money!!
This call almost gave me an anxiety attack. Holy ****
Simple...say no.
Shawn Ballee Put YOUR family first. Then help the In Laws. Don't sacrifice your family's well being to support your Mother in Laws inertia!
Shawn Ballee If she doesn't have a Husband to lean on, that's not your fault either
Why does she need a car that’s $10,000 or more? She is a charity case. My dad is 61 and doesn’t want to slow down any time soon. He takes any overtime you throw at him. She needs a a second job
I will be 61 in two months. Give me a break . You are in Hawaii ( massively expensive) in the military. Just because you save money does not mean she gets it .
There are many people that need to hear this. There are in laws that take money from people because they feel the are entitled.
Mom wants money for something else other than just help with "medical" and a new car. That's crazy.
If my mother, who lives exclusively on social security, can save up for a car, this lady who has a JOB can surely can do so as well.
For my dad it ended up being drugs and he lost his house, and i had to walk away.
OMG this brings back so many memories. My (ex) mother-in-law was the same way. She used to come to us for money all of the time and my (ex)wife would just give it to her, and always with a "promise to pay it back" yada yada....never did. I found out one day that she came into $15,000 from a settlement and then went out and bought a NICE car. I lit her up. My ex had the same habits with money and one of the reasons we are no longer together.
*Why did you call Dave if you're gonna argue with him, not let him talk AND make excuses for your Mother-in-Law?* SMH 🙄
When you ask for financial help you are inviting someone into every part of your life!!
We did the same thing with our grown children and it has financially hurt us. Dave is right.
How does someone who works for a HUGE company not have a retirement plan with the company? I work at a small company and I even have one and medical/dental insurance!
This is why I love Brother Dave! He is the truth!
Straight talk is such a breath of fresh air here.
That really helped put things into perspective, appreciate it.
The mother in law and sister in law are "very guarded" when it comes to finding out how much they make, but they have NO problem asking for assistance. LOL.
Thank you Dave!
Doesn’t mater how low the income is. If “they” want you to help with finances for her you need to ask to see ALL their finances.
When you pay a bill for someone that doesn’t know how to use finances, you are simply making it possible for them to spend as they please because your paying bills.
She doesn’t NEED a car. The floor in the car can be repaired by her, not you.
She called the wrong person. Dave will not allow her to partisapate in her mother in laws financial issues.
Dave has Nailed this!
Lol Dave's it's always ur turn to talk
Booney Inc it is called “The Dave Ramsey Show” lol
Im glad to have heard ur channel on radio. It led to me looking you up and now im listening to your youtube. My plan is to be financially be free. Gonna see how /curious as to see if the baby steps will work for me.
Wow, Thank you.
4:30 BEST PART!!! Shut up and listen to the man.
The second she spoke with the moaning whine I laughed.
If you want my money, you answer my questions. That's the deal! This "We're too ashamed to talk numbers" smells dishonest from the outset.
Ding ding ding
you tell them. very reasonable answer. i like this guy!
Many people call in to talk AT Dave and to just have him agree with their plan that is already initiated