My Sister Wants To Borrow $5,000!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2022
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ความคิดเห็น • 687

  • @d.taylor3760
    @d.taylor3760 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +254

    My brother wanted to borrow $5k from me so I asked for his wife's diamond engagement ring as collateral. I'd put it in my safe deposit box and they'd get it back when the last payment was made. Never heard back from him regarding borrowing any money after that.

    • @Lakhesys
      @Lakhesys 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      Good idea!

    • @dortheay7361
      @dortheay7361 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      That’s a great idea !

    • @richardw3470
      @richardw3470 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      And, was the ring worth $5K? Bet not. Which tells a lot.

    • @Jeff-sp7bg
      @Jeff-sp7bg 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That's pretty cold and slimy. Ew

    • @maryshannon4444
      @maryshannon4444 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Great idea. It's a loan and when its paid give back the ring.

  • @maryanneviola752
    @maryanneviola752 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +124

    My dad always used to say "I don't borrow money, I don't lend money and I don't co-sign."

  • @richricogranada9647
    @richricogranada9647 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    If the couple has 500K they should never tell anyone that-EVER!

    • @deeznuts7061
      @deeznuts7061 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hard to hide it if they are driving nice cars, live in nice house, hold good occupations, take vacations.

    • @gmarie3053
      @gmarie3053 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      I do all these things and act broke. People assume I’m a bad spender with no savings and I let them 🤷‍♀️

    • @kieferzenko
      @kieferzenko 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      You can do what you want, but I have heard Dave say pretending to be broke to avoid setting boundaries with friends and family is cowardly.

    • @zesolodar
      @zesolodar 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      i mean i dont care if my family knows what i have because my family isnt filled with entitled leaches

  • @kschrop
    @kschrop ปีที่แล้ว +591

    If you're a high earner, never brag to your family about what you make or will be making....

    • @missj5564
      @missj5564 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Exactly.

    • @michelarosier1918
      @michelarosier1918 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I agree 💯. Keep to yourself.

    • @jml9550
      @jml9550 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      But they do know that type of job I have and the average income and many house I own. Either way, I won’t give them a dime unless they are disabled and starving. If they are able to work, don’t expect my handout because they choose to be lazy.

    • @gooserich3970
      @gooserich3970 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      You are correct…Learned that one the hard way

    • @Howdy762
      @Howdy762 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      my wife and i are both 24yo. were kinda learning this now.

  • @kimberlyf.4130
    @kimberlyf.4130 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    One of the best pieces of advice my Dad ever gave me was never give any money you expect to get back.

    • @caroldorsett8170
      @caroldorsett8170 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Exactly, exactly,exactly!!

  • @PhilipMarcYT
    @PhilipMarcYT ปีที่แล้ว +434

    I let my sister borrow 5k and she never paid back.
    Money and family don't mix.

    • @PInk77W1
      @PInk77W1 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      My sis borrowed $1000. Off me and never paid me back. I didn’t even care. LoL
      It’s just gone.

    • @marietaylor5174
      @marietaylor5174 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      You probably knew deep down that that money was gone for good.

    • @PhilipMarcYT
      @PhilipMarcYT ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@marietaylor5174 yes, but I thought she'd be responsible.

    • @annie4horses
      @annie4horses ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Same with friends.

    • @gmarie3053
      @gmarie3053 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Older family member took 600 from me when I was 16 and working in fast food 10 hours/week while at school. It was a lot at the time

  • @NovatusRSGaming
    @NovatusRSGaming ปีที่แล้ว +280

    I borrowed money from my mother to help with closing costs on my first home. Was about $4000. I paid the agreed $150 every month, on time. Yet she still holds the loan over my head and tells my other family members about how she “had” to loan me $4k when I didn’t even ask for it….. money and family definitely do not mix.

    • @moreiscomingeasy6710
      @moreiscomingeasy6710 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I'm so sorry for you. Parents do such things from the Heart. I'd raise the monthly amount, and get it over with as soon as possible

    • @xoxrazzyxox
      @xoxrazzyxox ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah that’s a long time to pay that off. I paid my mum back £7000 over seven months by pickling extra work for a while

    • @00Dawggg
      @00Dawggg 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Terrible. Would never loan someone money and hold it over their head

    • @wtech758
      @wtech758 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Roughly 2 yrs to pay back $4k is poor tbh

    • @jeannet7443
      @jeannet7443 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@00Dawggg Not unless they refuse to pay it back, when they signed an agreement to do so.

  • @dreesaad6151
    @dreesaad6151 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    I just tell people I'm broke. I had to cut ties because my sibling said I'm the reason he can't pay his bills because I didn't co-sign a $20k loan 🙄

    • @chief5981
      @chief5981 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I’m just guessing that you’re the you get sibling too 🤔

  • @88happiness
    @88happiness ปีที่แล้ว +112

    I just finished paying off my sister. I appreciate the loan, and she was cool loaning it to me, but I never want to be there again. It didn't feel good to be there.

    • @Carib6855
      @Carib6855 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hope you started your emergency fund.

    • @SemajRaff
      @SemajRaff 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      You should feel good knowing you took responsibility and saw fit to pay back. Plenty of siblings would have taken the money and acted like it didn’t happen and continue to get into a mess

  • @ajossi
    @ajossi ปีที่แล้ว +185

    I grew up poor and when I turned 18 I joined the military and have lived my entire adult life debt free. My family has not stopped begging for money my entire adult life. I rarely talk to them or visit because of it.

    • @RavnerRavner
      @RavnerRavner ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You're such a good soul.

    • @treelover1050
      @treelover1050 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      YOU HAVE A GOOD HABIT OF LIVING DEBT FREE.

    • @terri6584
      @terri6584 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If you grew up poor it sounds like your family needs good knowledge Ex. Dave Ramsey’s program. Possibly, you can keep redirecting your family to D.Ramsey’s program & actually HELP your family. It sounds like the truly need to & would benefit from it. Never assume anything.

    • @leisure057blank3
      @leisure057blank3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I don’t blame you one bit.

    • @nunyabidnes6010
      @nunyabidnes6010 ปีที่แล้ว

      Suuuure

  • @sharons5714
    @sharons5714 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    My sister “borrowed “ a lot of money from our mother, and now I am helping to support my mother

    • @deborahblackvideoediting8697
      @deborahblackvideoediting8697 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Oh my gosh, do you mean that your mother lent your sister so much money that it affected her retirement income? If so, that's terrible!

    • @michelejohnson6459
      @michelejohnson6459 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Mother should have had boundaries. No means no. It's ok if family doesn't speak to you. 🙄

  • @kwd57
    @kwd57 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    Just don't lend money, unless you don't expect to ever get it back.

    • @nathanmitchell2827
      @nathanmitchell2827 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah I learned that the hard way.

    • @ivanvargas2425
      @ivanvargas2425 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Exactly but people never learn

    • @terriesmith2616
      @terriesmith2616 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Exactly. 💯💯💯
      When I lent money to my siblings, in the back of my mind, I counted that money as gone and I'll never get it back. If my siblings paid me back, then great, but if they didn't, that's also fine by me because I've already accepted that I'll probably never get it back.

    • @kennymartin379
      @kennymartin379 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ant that the truth

    • @t6667778
      @t6667778 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aaaaaaa Men!!

  • @nancyskilton136
    @nancyskilton136 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    My dad borrowed $2,000 from me with the understanding that he would pay it back when he received his tax refund. He insisted that he sign a promissory note. He paid it back as promised. Years later, when we were cleaning out his apartment after his death, my sister asked why my dad wrote me a check for $2,000. I told her it was to pay off a loan. She said she found that hard to believe and that I should pay the $2,000 into his estate. Fortunately, I had kept the promissory note.

    • @tande0822
      @tande0822 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      😮what in the world is wrong with your sister?!

    • @carolr7823
      @carolr7823 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Your sister sounds like a nasty person.

    • @Jane-rh7tc
      @Jane-rh7tc หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      @@tande0822 she most likely thought she can get more inheritance this way, thinking her dad has $2k more cash 😂

    • @cidk59
      @cidk59 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Wow.... nice sister.... NOT!!!

    • @sct4040
      @sct4040 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Your sister is a jerk.

  • @PInk77W1
    @PInk77W1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I had a brother 10y older than me.
    He called me one time and asked to
    Borrow $3k. I said I don’t have no $3k.
    He said u can use your credit card?
    I said no.

    • @MuzicTunes-lk6np
      @MuzicTunes-lk6np 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Or you can use your credit card or even go to one of those Pay Day loans.

    • @PInk77W1
      @PInk77W1 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@MuzicTunes-lk6np I slept in my car

    • @xerxes8632
      @xerxes8632 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      The way I handled a coworker wanting to borrow money, was to tell him, I couldn't loan him money because he is a bad risk. He said wasn't a bad risk. I said, then get a loan from a bank. He said the bank won't loan him money. I replied, because you are a bad risk.

    • @PInk77W1
      @PInk77W1 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@xerxes8632
      Pretty much. I hate banks. But it’s all good

  • @nancygamez7087
    @nancygamez7087 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    You don't owe your sister anything because you are financially able.

  • @Georgemorales5559
    @Georgemorales5559 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    I don’t lend anyone money I’ll buy them food if they are hungry

    • @SusanMarie3
      @SusanMarie3 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Right - I’m buying groceries if the pantry’s bare and the kids are hungry

    • @DD-sc9bu
      @DD-sc9bu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Am doing that now, though my human nature is looking at those carts thinking these are expensive bad food choices

  • @Mr_Fairdale
    @Mr_Fairdale ปีที่แล้ว +126

    When my family used to ask me for money I started to refer them to my “financial advisor.” They don’t ask me for money anymore. I don’t hear from them much either lol

    • @austintomkewitz3981
      @austintomkewitz3981 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah just write them a letter of recommendation with an affiliate link hahahaha

    • @michelarosier1918
      @michelarosier1918 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      This is so sad. My older brother is single and without children and *very* well off (and he works his tail off as well!). I’m married with children, and we successfully live on my husband’s teaching salary (although my 70 year old father lives with us so he does help). I cannot imagine feeling that my brother’s money is mine to access. I love my brother so much, no amount of money is worth putting him in a difficult situation (and we don’t need it anyway because we purposefully live within our means).

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@katiejon17 you've got a very level head.

    • @tande0822
      @tande0822 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sounds Familiar

  • @dtom1145
    @dtom1145 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    You either just give it away with no expectation of ever seeing it again or just say no.

  • @rnt45t1
    @rnt45t1 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    Dude is swimming in money, and the sister knows it. This is how you stop talking to relatives for the rest of your life.

    • @chukuemekaoje1015
      @chukuemekaoje1015 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Agreed! And because of that, it's all but guaranteed that the sister is gonna throw a huge fit when the caller attempts to put strings on the money.... since "he has the money" and that "he should look out for family".

    • @robloxvids2233
      @robloxvids2233 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      The simpleist way to answer is with the fewest words possible: "No." The longer answer is "No, my money is for my children." Dave's answer is controlling and patronizing. Just say No.

    • @antionneanderson9721
      @antionneanderson9721 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      You should never ever tell a person how much money you have.

    • @jml9550
      @jml9550 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@antionneanderson9721 exactly but my family know how many houses I got and job I have. But that doesn’t mean I hand out money. Unless they are disabled, they can work two job 12 hours a day. They won’t starve.

    • @sblijheid
      @sblijheid ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @Antionne Anderson You don't have to tell them. If they know what job you do or where you live, they can do the math.

  • @anthonys.8569
    @anthonys.8569 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Agree with this take. Dont loan her the money. Give it if you can but only pay what she owes directly. And you need to see financial improvements first.

    • @andronickmartusheff4036
      @andronickmartusheff4036 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      completely agree. she never gets the money, you pay in checks to whoever she owes money to

    • @TheMarshalOfLeague
      @TheMarshalOfLeague ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I disagree with Dave on many things especially on politics. But he's spot on here 100%.

    • @haeshaw
      @haeshaw ปีที่แล้ว

      Uuu u uguhy

  • @David-sc2ir
    @David-sc2ir ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I remember something Ann Landers said in a column years ago and I've stuck by it. Never loan money, if you can afford it
    then give it as a gift and if you receive it back then you accept it as a gift. Good advice!

  • @rebeccachambers419
    @rebeccachambers419 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    I have learned to tell my family that I can’t loan money anymore but I will set them up a budget and show them how to get out of debt.

    • @missj5564
      @missj5564 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I have said that and some get offended. I am still not loaning and giving money especeially to the ones that refuse to get a better job or work full time.

    • @Bob-yh7ir
      @Bob-yh7ir ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yep. No handouts to family. They just become leeches once you put a crutch under them so instead they don't learn to walk on their own feet.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@missj5564 and I’m all about having fun, and excitement… I’ll drink w/ friends sometimes, I like adventures & scuba diving… but you GOTTA LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS and STAY HEALTHY!

    • @rebeccachambers419
      @rebeccachambers419 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@missj5564 Oh yes. There will be those who get offended. I just say “ I’m sorry. Are you mad at me because I won’t give you MY money?”

    • @carolverdin6391
      @carolverdin6391 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I also offer help set up a budget with them and when one family member did that, I knew they were serious. When others didnt they simply asked other family members who ena less the bad behavior...

  • @georgewagner7787
    @georgewagner7787 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    Just say no. My aunt and uncle tried to borrow 5k from my widowed mother because she already sold and was in assisted living. They had a 900k house but no money management skills. We put a stop to it.

    • @jml9550
      @jml9550 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I wouldn’t give her a dime. They can sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.

    • @RogerPack
      @RogerPack ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Borrow" it...right...

    • @karlabritfeld7104
      @karlabritfeld7104 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Family. Users.

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      They didn't sell. Aunt worked until 80 and both moved to heaven.

    • @user-gj1pq5zm4l
      @user-gj1pq5zm4l หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@georgewagner7787🤣 You’re “ assuming” they moved to heaven. Unscrupulous people like that might have been moved to a much hotter place! 😂

  • @realcheshirewags1965
    @realcheshirewags1965 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I have a sister who never seems to have money. But everytime I give her the money, she ends up
    In debt again. It’s a vicious cycle

  • @PistacchioIceCreamSucks
    @PistacchioIceCreamSucks 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    This mans situation is a mirror to mine. My brother is likely the most irresponsible and angriest person I have ever known to this day. Consistently in debt. 2 failed marriages. Always asking for money; resenting those who do not help. The world owes him a living. He's the victim in this world and these are the hands he was dealt. He screwed me over at out of $1800 at a younger age, I never forgot! He eventually failed one of his marriages and had to move in with me; I let him move in but this time under certain conditions... "Sign this contract and pay me rent for simply living in my house" Oh how he despised me. Word... for... word... "I should be living here for free!". I kicked him out and haven't spoke to him for over a year. I plan to continue that until death.

  • @LASKANDUDE
    @LASKANDUDE ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Up front she will agree to anything it takes to get your money. Afterwards she won’t follow through.

  • @78town
    @78town ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Great advice from Dave. The end goal of the Ramsey plan is to be “outrageously generous”. Do it out if love.

  • @freedomworks3976
    @freedomworks3976 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I’m not a bank so I don’t loan money. Conversation over.

  • @TheRoeshow0324
    @TheRoeshow0324 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Never lend money to family. You give a 1 time gift. That’s it. And never speak of it

  • @av8tor261
    @av8tor261 ปีที่แล้ว +128

    I get off the hook by telling everyone (especially family), "If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm bust."

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @az21bob666
      @az21bob666 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      How do rich people say that. Bill gates get ask for money and he like I broke

    • @Cookieboy70
      @Cookieboy70 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That seems a bit hard especially for family, unless you are hiding your lifestyle from them.

    • @canadianjatti
      @canadianjatti ปีที่แล้ว

      Wouldn't work for me. everyone knows I earn a lot and spend very little LOL so I always have money.

    • @robertbell525
      @robertbell525 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      If they see your big house and fancy car just say you see all this? I have payments! Ain't got no money, sorry!

  • @adaelmo8915
    @adaelmo8915 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    It blows my mind how people are comfortable asking to borrow money from family/friends

  • @mrbushlied7742
    @mrbushlied7742 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    My sister wanted to borrow $5K. I said no. We no longer communicate. That's fine with me.

  • @King_TuTT
    @King_TuTT ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I just love it on how Dave demands to get into the persons business on where that money is going. I think its a great idea. Make it painful for the person if you are going to give them money by getting into their business. that way there is less chance they ever ask for money again. also giving the money directly to the bills, not the person.

    • @karlabritfeld7104
      @karlabritfeld7104 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes

    • @melissasikhosana9573
      @melissasikhosana9573 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @ Rob T exactly 💯 . I know of people who lie about being destitute just to get money from people / family members. Nope!! Ask them tons of questions & get in their business. If they make it a habit (constantly coming back) try teaching them how to budget their money. Cause some folks are ridiculous.
      I know people who are high earners but will be out here borrowing money from people who earn way less than them. I will never understand

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Absolutely! 💯

  • @katiejon17
    @katiejon17 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I would add that the caller and his wife need to be crystal clear that more money from them in the future is absolutely off the table, don’t even ask. Be clear with the sister that this is a “one time good deal”, but that when (or if) she is ever ready, you will pay for her to go through Financial Peace University. But this is the end of the road when it comes to money, otherwise she’s going to get a taste for brother’s wallet.

  • @randomutubr222
    @randomutubr222 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Yeah, I loaned my brother 2k a few years ago. He still loves paycheck to paycheck and can’t pay me back. I basically told him not to worry about it and I don’t need it back (I make pretty good money and I’m not gonna lose sleep over 2k over my brother). My brother and I are very close and I’m okay with it. But if _you_ won’t be able to get over it and it’s going to cause a rift, then don’t do it.
    Basically I look at it as gambling. Only put in what you are willing to lose and hope for the best. I was fine never seeing that 2k again and helping out my brother. Your mileage may vary.

    • @erikhopkins9488
      @erikhopkins9488 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      you're a cool brother!

    • @daisy9910
      @daisy9910 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or sister @@erikhopkins9488

  • @Lil-Whiskies
    @Lil-Whiskies ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Someone saying no to you can be freeing. The finality of that answer forces you to step up and take control of your life.

  • @Sexy40baby1
    @Sexy40baby1 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    giving someone money to help them with their expenses when they don't make enough to cover their expenses each month will only keep them coming back for more money. they have to go out and make more money to be able to take care of themselves

    • @Howdy762
      @Howdy762 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      exactly.

    • @DougAlesUSA
      @DougAlesUSA ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sort of like paying off student loans when there is no attempt to prevent the problem from reoccurring.

  • @COOLDUDERBALD
    @COOLDUDERBALD ปีที่แล้ว +10

    People just need to learn the word No.
    Oh you’re mad? You never want to speak to me ever again?
    Good, that’s your choice.

  • @Nepthu
    @Nepthu ปีที่แล้ว +16

    This caller sounds haunted and sick over this. My parents always shamed my older brother who borrowed money, so the rest of us siblings viewed borrowing as shameful. None of us do it.

    • @WeBeatMedicare6969
      @WeBeatMedicare6969 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, it’s really tough having all that money

  • @brad885
    @brad885 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Right Dave. Pay the attorney not her.

  • @stephengamber7000
    @stephengamber7000 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Never loan more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift.

  • @ShaneRM878
    @ShaneRM878 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Kevin O’Leary has a great answer to this:
    I will give you the money on one condition: that you never ask me for money again

    • @marietaylor5174
      @marietaylor5174 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's not going to stop them from asking again.

    • @asucena5575
      @asucena5575 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@marietaylor5174 yes that’s true but now it’s easier to say no.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@marietaylor5174 Unfortunately human nature is different

    • @jimhandler1129
      @jimhandler1129 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@marietaylor5174 You just mention the one condition again.

    • @gmarie3053
      @gmarie3053 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Easier to just say no

  • @kurts6741
    @kurts6741 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    You pick your friends, not your relatives.

  • @analogguy5548
    @analogguy5548 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Most people don’t change - 20+ years ago I went through a brutal divorce; In order to avoid “lifetime alimony”, I gave my wife virtually all our assets. Today she is essentially broke, living in a trailer park and depending on our children for financial help. Two years ago she came to me asking to borrow money to pay medical bills, promising to repay me “as soon as I receive payment from a pending inheritance”. My head said no, my heart said let’s give her a chance. I paid a couple of substantial medical bills for her, said payments understood to be loans - For me the sum lent was easily affordable - a tiny percentage of my net worth. After learning that my ex had indeed received the expected inheritance, she informed me that she had no intention of repaying me as much as “one dime”. I was disappointed, but not surprised. 😁

    • @GDuncan8002
      @GDuncan8002 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      After giving her everything, and knowing how she is, your heart told you to give her some more? That's wild.

    • @Sin-D_
      @Sin-D_ 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@GDuncan8002 i can understand why. Probably bc many years had passed. And bc he’s always had a connection through their children as the kids grew up and became young adults. Therefore, his heart probably thought “why not help her?” But now she KNOWS that he will NEVER help her again. So she better hope it was worth it.

    • @PrexXyx
      @PrexXyx 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hope your children understand how big of a rat their mother is

    • @xchino0427
      @xchino0427 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@Sin-D_ 5 10 years will pass and chances she'll do it again and next time come of as desperate or convincing she will repay. Up to the guy how he would judge her again though

    • @Sin-D_
      @Sin-D_ 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@xchino0427 He wont do it again. I just said she better hope it was worth it bc he’ll never do it again by the sound of his comment.

  • @dampierstucco5778
    @dampierstucco5778 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Anyone else catch the part where the caller said that his sister had been through divorceS but I didn't hear where Dave & cohost brought up that fact. To me it's a very important point, one thing for a sibling to go through A divorce but this not being her first rodeo seems important especially given the rest of the call.

  • @OTOWN2STOCKTOWN
    @OTOWN2STOCKTOWN ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Co-host really doesn't have a clue what it is like to struggle with(out) money, yet makes it seem like knows everything about it

    • @J.Anita24
      @J.Anita24 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Right lol

    • @emanmar70072
      @emanmar70072 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Maybe she knows what it is like having people ask her dad for money and seeing how it impacted him once the family recovered. I also suspect that people have asked her for money too especially for people who know who she is and who her father is. Dave used to hide his net worth and finally acknowledged it in the past few years.

    • @wildbikerbill6530
      @wildbikerbill6530 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      My observation is most people have no idea what they spent the money on, have no budget, weekly or monthly, poor discipline regarding impulse purchases, just shock that it is all gone. I can remember starting work back in the 1980's and my co-workers being shocked that I had a fixed modest amount of cash I withdrew from the bank as my weekly allowance. By contrast, I had a co-worker who said "if there's anything left over at the end of the month, I feel like I must of missed out on something".
      And the hard cold fact is The Broke REFUSE TO LEARN until they are at that rock hard life changing moment when either they get their act together or things really fall apart. I don't think it's much different than treating an alcoholic.

  • @katysummer9418
    @katysummer9418 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It goes by the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" sad but true. Lending money to family creates nothing but problems.

  • @jaaxoon
    @jaaxoon 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I can’t imagine asking my siblings for money. Just wouldn’t do it. I want to be the “strong” one.

  • @garyclark6427
    @garyclark6427 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’m on board with what Dave says. Everyone needs a budget. It does not cost any money, and makes it possible to manage your money.

  • @carlosbrito8147
    @carlosbrito8147 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Both of my parents borrowed a lot of money from me when I was a lot younger and naive, unfortunately I never saw a dime back. If your friend or family loves you they would have never asked in the first place. Don't lend money out and cut out the people who are asking you, just say no and bye!

  • @itchyisvegeta
    @itchyisvegeta ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I remember one of my sisters used to ask to borrow a hundred bucks all the time. Told her no every time, even though I felt guilty at first. Thank goodness I didn't have money to give her at the time, cause I was too nice enough to do it.
    The more she asked, the easier it got to say no.

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 ปีที่แล้ว

      you can't give your own blood a hundred bucks?

    • @itchyisvegeta
      @itchyisvegeta ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@annasimons389 Nope! Why would I? If I did, she would have expected it when she asked again, which may have turned her into the type of person this caller is calling about.

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@itchyisvegeta dude not even once or twice and then you say no more? I can understand being hesitant about thousands of dollars... but a hundred bucks here and there? That's cold.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@annasimons389 No. Taking advantage of family and using them for money. That's cold.

    • @jimroscovius
      @jimroscovius ปีที่แล้ว +5

      We used to buy the ticket for my wife's mom to visit. Not all of the time, just once in a while. But she never asked. She has also never asked for money. If this lady needs food, buy some for her. But don't just give money.

  • @Theguys1
    @Theguys1 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    If you can give it as a gift, go ahead. If not as a gift….don’t.

  • @texdevildog9174
    @texdevildog9174 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I had a family member ask to borrow money. I gave them the money and said if you repay it ok, it you don't it is ok. They repaid it and told them to keep it for an emergency fund.

  • @cathyandresiak1975
    @cathyandresiak1975 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    My parents never loaned us money, if we were in a jam they would give us money and trusted us to do the right thing with it and we always did!!

  • @lilstink86
    @lilstink86 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I would love to get John's reaction to this call. Seems like her money problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Walking beside someone like this could be excruciating without professional help from a therapist. You can hear the reluctance in his voice because he knows in a year from now it will be a repeat situation

  • @lovecats6856
    @lovecats6856 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    If you lend money, be prepared to consider it a gift. You will never be paid back.

  • @southernequestrian
    @southernequestrian ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The only person who I ever lent money to is my mother when she was buying her retirement home. That was only because I knew when she got the money from the house she just sold was going to pay me back. It was a matter of a 24 hour time period or she would have lost that home that she now lives in.

    • @LoveLife-oo9cz
      @LoveLife-oo9cz ปีที่แล้ว

      That was so nice of you. When my in-laws purchased a house, the lender asked for the down payment and they couldn't come up with in their bank so they had to borrow from us. It was a thankless gesture from them after I wrote a check to them. They did pay back. Family and money never mix well together.

  • @elcheekoful
    @elcheekoful ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Don't loan her the money. Pay the attorney directly! That is fine, I think.

  • @Yungwalt
    @Yungwalt ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “She makes money, but it all goes to bills, and living expenses” uhhh, welcome to life.. lol smh

  • @dummgelauft
    @dummgelauft 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Don't give her the money. Pay her attorney, or her rent or another bill directly.

  • @johncameron4194
    @johncameron4194 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Never loan family money.
    You will never see any of it back

    • @lalagardenia6500
      @lalagardenia6500 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      My brother asked for $1500, I gave it to him never expecting it back. It was a gift as far as I'm concerned.
      When he asked me about paying it back (he wanted to), I told him he didn't have to pay it back, instead I asked him to make sure his bank account always had at least $1500 for emergencies.
      No idea if he's doing this but my intention was to try to help him be more careful and always have emergency funds ❤ he hasn't asked for or needed $$ since 😊

  • @thelimey351
    @thelimey351 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I don't always agree with Dave Ramsey but this is brilliant advice.

  • @markb2007
    @markb2007 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Not only do I not loan money but I don’t give it in situations like this. I have in the past and they come to expect it because they haven’t learned anything to change their behavior.

  • @juliah3230
    @juliah3230 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My parents always say if the bank won’t lend them the money neither should you. If you do be prepared to lose the money and damage the relationship

  • @BOSTONROCKFAN5150
    @BOSTONROCKFAN5150 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Money changes a family relationship into a business relationship. Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same if he does this. Bad idea

    • @front331
      @front331 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Stay put. We're going to send you a copy of Dave's book The Total Money Makeover. Thank you for tuning in.

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@front331 And, free tickets!

  • @susanmarie4891
    @susanmarie4891 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I would give money to my family if they really needed it and I had it - family is family

    • @perryh.5306
      @perryh.5306 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right. ..My sister is my queen....and I give her whatever I can afford! I'd give her the world if I could!

  • @bettermetal8306
    @bettermetal8306 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Never loan money to family or friends. If you are gonna give someone money don’t expect to get it back

  • @bethanyb4478
    @bethanyb4478 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    My family has a history of lending money among ourselves. It works for us, though, because we are all sane, stable people who set it up to be beneficial to both parties. The interest rate is set to be lower than a bank's lending rate, but higher than a savings account's. That way, the borrower saves money and the lender gets a little bonus.

    • @Bertuzz84
      @Bertuzz84 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes it can work, that is my own experience as well. But from this show and peoples comments it appears to be rare.

  • @tande0822
    @tande0822 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Don’t ever lend money to anyone if you can’t afford to live without it as there’s a chance you may not ever get it back!!

  • @nycdweller
    @nycdweller ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just loaned my sister $8,000. If she pays me back, then great. If not, that is ok too. I love my sister & am very close to her!

  • @buckybarnes3803
    @buckybarnes3803 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have a buddy like this, falls under the enabling category because he never improves. For 5-10 years now. He looks towards family and friends he can mooch from and is always crying poor. So I don't enable

  • @Irene1208Lano
    @Irene1208Lano ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I agree. If you are a high earner don’t tell your family members.

  • @2023Red
    @2023Red ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I agree with Ramsey and his cohost. Do NOT lend her the cash. But help her by paying her bills directly providing she makes the observable changes in her behavior. Start by keeping rent current and utilities, then the lawyer but monitor the lawyer who might be a buffoon. Do not lame her ex husband because he is the dad for those children. But cooperate and get it done. But she has to cooperate. She will be unwilling as her ego will protect her against everyone.

  • @celpaz4584
    @celpaz4584 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very good advice!!!

  • @mikespain8655
    @mikespain8655 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Well put Dave! I concur.

  • @jdogsenior5886
    @jdogsenior5886 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My dad gave me a good piece of advice when I was a kid when a coworker asked him for $50. He told me that if you are ok with losing it, lend it accepting the fact you will never get it back. If they give you the money back then you know they can be trusted, if they don't then they can't. This situation is with family and alot more money, but in their financial situation I think they should give the money expecting to not see it again.

  • @JackyHapy
    @JackyHapy ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great advice 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @bjthedjdutchdude1992
    @bjthedjdutchdude1992 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I loaned my sister €2480 a few years ago. we made a monthly plan. I kept track of it. And she is now debt free.

    • @groofromtheup5719
      @groofromtheup5719 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it really depends on the people. There are some family members I would loan to, but more I would not.

  • @clarifyingquestions
    @clarifyingquestions ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Never lend money to people who ask. Also give or offer to give money to those who never ask.

  • @missj5564
    @missj5564 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Tell her to get a loan from the bank. You already said she has no budget, you wiil not get the money back.

    • @robloxvids2233
      @robloxvids2233 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Seriously, if a bank won't loan her money why would you? Banks are literally in business to loan money. Go to them.

  • @dv8mr226
    @dv8mr226 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I did this same for both my sister and my son. Both were put on payment plans at nearly 0% interest. They still paid interest less than a bank, both paid the loans back entirely. They know I have a few million, but won’t “give them” the money, if they don’t pay it back, it will cause problems ( and I write it off as if it was a donation mentally and never give again). Both learned the family was more important, and understood if they paid back the loan, they could come back for another (my son did). So it’s depends, some people will see it as a hand out, some see it as a hand up. All depends on that person.

  • @1tommyday
    @1tommyday 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I was buying a condo once and my mother told my brother about it. I received a $2400 check in the mail from my brother. I asked him what was it for and he said Im giving it to you for your condo.
    17 years later that $2400 turned into a 10k loan that I never paid back.
    This along with other big reasons is why I dont speak to him anymore

  • @LoveLife-oo9cz
    @LoveLife-oo9cz ปีที่แล้ว +6

    We loaned his sister money and never get paid back. Instead, she resented me for bringing it up. I'm tired with all the lies. Now the relationship is sour. I don't want to tell my parents I don't have a good relationship with his sister's family but I don't like them at all for all the entitlements. By the way, we paid a lot for her family including almost every time we go dinner today, they don't pick up their own tabs in a decade. We stopped paying for her family's meals and entertainment. I'm not even sure if I want to attend the Thanksgiving dinner this year or not. Probably not.

    • @Jane5720
      @Jane5720 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Be done with that love life

  • @genxretiree
    @genxretiree ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Gifting it to family without the expectation of payback is one thing. Loaning money to family with the expectation of payback is another thing entirely...and staying 100 miles away from that is the way to go.

  • @therealmvp232
    @therealmvp232 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Only let someone borrow what you can afford to lose. I don’t let people borrow money.

  • @jasonk446
    @jasonk446 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    It's almost like you get punished for being financially responsible...friends and family want your money and make you feel guilty if you don't give it to them.

    • @lisadearing5960
      @lisadearing5960 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree 100%! It’s wrong on so many levels. God forbid you ever hit the lottery! That’s when the real crazies come out of the woodwork!

  • @quichawnabryant
    @quichawnabryant หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It’s not like it’s a moral failing to need $5000. I think most people need that amount of money. Life happens, and everyone doesn’t have it together. Things can get rough. If I had that situation, I would definitely give them the money. It’s not harming me. It’s benefiting them. It’s a win. Especially if it’s a one-off.

  • @bertgeneray5954
    @bertgeneray5954 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great advise.

  • @whitebroccoli694
    @whitebroccoli694 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Makes me glad my sisters make more than me

  • @DanielGarcia-zz9eg
    @DanielGarcia-zz9eg ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Family never pays back

  • @lyndaslocs
    @lyndaslocs ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to do that."

  • @anttucc9646
    @anttucc9646 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Lent a family member a five-figure sum a few years ago. They were supposed to make small monthly payments. Never received a dime back, and never heard a single word about repayment. I wish I had just made it a gift.

    • @ps-yk8su
      @ps-yk8su ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I wish you never loaned them anything

  • @08baby25
    @08baby25 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My husband makes this mistake of always tell people how much he makes🙄Then get surprised when people ask for money.

  • @antionneanderson9721
    @antionneanderson9721 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    He should tell her that he is not a bank

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 ปีที่แล้ว

      If a bank does not trust them.......there is your sign!

  • @1tommyday
    @1tommyday 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This situation sounds exhausting. Instead of giving her money, offer to pay some bills. Tell her to hand you her latest bills instead and see how she reacts

  • @tashanapink7688
    @tashanapink7688 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This scenario could easily turn into you all funding her life and her brother becoming her unofficial second husband. She’s used to not having to do much so it may take a while for her mindset to catch up after the divorce is finalized.

    • @BusArch42
      @BusArch42 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yup. My MiL did this to my husband

  • @thomasokeefe3081
    @thomasokeefe3081 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Don't do it!!!. If you do she will keep coming back and play on your emotions.

  • @Estiallina
    @Estiallina 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    “From my wife and me” 😊.

  • @bobbenoit8470
    @bobbenoit8470 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When someone asks me to borrow money i always tell them that I'm not a bank... go to the bank if you want borrow money!

  • @humilis42
    @humilis42 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I lent my sister $500. She didn’t know that I gave it to her because I knew she couldn’t pay me back. She talked about paying me back that money for years. It was so annoying. The good thing about this scenario is that she can never come to me again for money because in her head, she owes me. Why have her think any different? 😂