I grew up with somewhat thinking this way. Like you’re supposed to take care of family. They cared for me when I was little, now I’m to reciprocate for them. A real eye opener for me (now that both my parents are gone) ….
Her parents didn't do just one number on her, this is a result of her entire childhood and teenage years being brainwashed by her parents' disfunctional behavior. You grow up believing you're actually responsible for them. Parents that claim their children ought to take care of them in their old age, are parents who always saw children as a burden. No healthy parent will ever want that from their children. Dave's show has done so much for me in this area of family and boundaries, a lot of grown children live their life feeling miserable going along this crap due to this perceived responsibility. I know, I've been there, not to the extent of this caller, but....God knows it was so hard to leave certain patterns l, but I'm worth more, and I am only responsible for MY life. 😊
I hear you, loud and clear. And I agree. Except for dependent children, an individual is solely responsible for his/her life. In many traditional cultures, family cares for family, but this is extended family, not a parent expecting a child to take care of them forever. And in extended family, everyone works and helps everyone, not a parent expecting to be a financial burden to a child forever. I would want no part of a tradition that smothers us with that heavy a burden. Marie's boundaries seem to be non-existent. It amazes me how little sense of self she possesses. Her entire soul has been robbed and she is left a confused, helpless and completely brainwashed person. Sad to see. But calling Dave for help is a start, maybe a little ray of hope for this poor woman.
Marie, as Ramsay said, needs some serious therapy. The way she speaks lacks good mental health. Even after the 2 hosts pulled her up repeatedly and tried to get her on the right track, it was as if she was in another world not hearing a thing they said.
My mom moved in with me right before she passed. She always took care of her kids, and there was nothing we wouldn't do for my mom and stepfather. After my stepfather passed, we begged her to move in with one of us. She stayed alone until there was nothing else she could do for herself. It was an honor for her to move in with me. I didn't get the time i thought I would get with her because she always wanted to do for herself. I was totally with this young lady taking care of her parents until I found out their income.
I hold the same sentiments as you. It doesn’t feel like a burden or a job to pay for things for my parents (which they don’t ask for). Though you can tell based on how she is speaking that something during her upbringing led her to think it was an obligation and not a choice
They have been gaslighting & mentally abusing her her ENTIRE life. She needs to seek therapy; they have been bleeding on her & using their own daughter. She’s not doing it because they’re her parents, she’s doing it because she’s been mind warped. I JUST got to the part where Dave said her childhood was a mess. BINGO!!
@@oceansky6207 Sounds like he’s on board since she said they don’t want them living with her. I hope he’s sat her down, looked her in the eyes, & said “they’ve been mentally abusing you”. She has no idea. This some Stockholm Syndrome type stuff.
Dad has no retirement savings and no equity in the home. But what he does have is a brand new can am in the driveway, a toy hauler to keep it in, and a 2024 model year truck to tow it all
I mean he can invest that 280k right now live off 80k. Invest the rest in stocks and will be able to live off the rest. She’s leaving something out because most jobs they pay that much also pay for retirement checks. My grandma will be getting like 10k a month just for being with them for so long. She’s likely assuming something
You would tell she was getting flustered trying to defend this but she needed to be talked to this way. Unfortunately I don't think anything's going to change. She's been emotionally manipulated by these people and she can't even see how broken and messed up this is
I thought she was gonna say that her parents were disabled, or some tragedy befell them and used up all their money. But then my mind broke about the same time Jade's did. $280k??? People are out here making less than a fourth of that and still have decent retirement savings.
Yah, I was expecting something like 1 was disabled and the other made $30k working at Wal-Mart. To have been making 6 figures for decades and having literally nothing shows an almost irredeemable level of irresponsibility.
She's actively fighting the two of them on air for this. The parents really sunk their teeth into their little girl down to her core so she truly believes she's at fault if she doesn't make mountains move for them when they have SEVEN times her income.
Dave is so good at this. Before she even got started with her explanation he put his finger right on the problem with the question, “Why is that your job?” He knows how to get right to the heart of the matter with his callers.
Additionally if your dad has been making anywhere close to that he will have max social security. If he can not make ends meet on that you can’t help him.
I took care of my parents each before they died. They had nothing and left me with nothing. I didn't realize it put me way behind financially. Dave's advice and a few others I actually am now ahead. I took care of them because I wanted to. If my parents made what this callers parents made. I would definitely take Dave's advice.
YELLING $280,000 income and is accustomed to making over $200,000. What. The. Flying. F*ck?!?! It is hard to sympathize with careless people. As a daughter, for my mental health, I had to walk away from my parents financial irresponsibilities. I had paid off my mom’s credit cards and she ran it back up. I gave my dad thousands and he couldn’t account for where he spent it. The First Daughter Bank closed. I’ll offer advice but will never gave money again.
She's actively fighting the two of them on air for this. The parents really sunk their teeth into their little girl down to her core so she truly believes she's at fault if she doesn't make mountains move for them when they have SEVEN times her income.
Truly this is boggling. I cannot even imagine how to spend that much sustained income over decades. I love the advice you gave but I wish this was where the shows bridged and she could be redirected to Doctor John.
Millions of people do it every year, every decade. People ALWAYS find a way to spend the money. It could be 100K or 1 million a year salary. They will have many nice “things” but their retirement account is severely lacking.
Its quiet interesting how we reject the reality of our situation and expect to be able to observe it, control it and even change it. I used to be financially depressed until I read a book that made me realized that the secret to making a million is making better investments.
What I think everyone need is an adviser, who can help you get in and out of any investment at any time and you'd sure be in Profit. With this I feel anyone can basically achieve financial freedom
This reminds of a time when I was 18 years old. I was in the car with my older sister and she was stressing out about my moms retirement plan. I will never forget her telling me “You haven’t done anything for mom to save for her retirement plan.” she made me feel so horrible about it then I realized wait this isn’t my responsibility? I should be worried about my retirement plan! Unfortunately my mom at the time didn’t have green card so finding a job for her was tough. Now she got her shit together and she has a stable job with a stable income. My mom is bad with money. So my older sister is constantly worrying about her and always helping her out financially then she complains about her being broke. I’m sorry but our parents brought us into the world. We don’t owe them anything. We have to worry about our selves. Shame on parents for guilt tripping kids as if we owe them something.
It's true. We didn't ask to be born, and the generation coming of age now is going to have a hard enough time taking care of themselves, nevermind their parents.
Knowledge is better than money. She probably started saving for retirement super late compared to most people. Probably doesn't know much about finance or investing. Can't blame people like that, they're looking for something but they don't know what it looks like. I'd feel obligated to help in anyway I can. Not always financial, but I'll help.
It’s pretty clear that the parents are playing the guilt card on this woman. They are looking for a free ride and manipulating her and clearly have been for a very long time.
Yeah, I thought Jade was going to fall out of her seat. LOL I think we all had the same reaction. We expected the girl to say her dad was going to be making 25K. But to be making 280K??? You've got to be kidding me. Either this is a prank call or her parents are about the worst that you can be when it comes to handling money. It's one or the other.
I'm actually really glad Dave and Jade were so harsh on this call. If I did not set firm boundaries with my parents, I would be in her same shoes. My dad has made 6 figures his entire career and has a full military retirement + the salary he currently makes. They have 0 equity in their $800k home, tons of consumer debt and minimal saved for retirement. I've made it clear I am not their retirement plan and this lady needs to hear that message too. Their failure to plan is not my emergency/problem. Hope she wakes up before they start asking for money
Harsh would be fine, if he would listen first. They didn't even let her talk. If you go back and listen, you will see that they interrupted her every time she tried to tell her story.
Neither one of my parents prepared for retirement and I was POA for both. We assisted them financially very little but the emotional and mental cost of navigating "the system" was immense. Unfortunately, this caller and her husband are likely going to have to do this at some point. I agree with Dave and Jade that financially assisting the parents is not the callers problem but I would suggest they start preparing themselves now to take over their parents decision making in the near future because it is highly stressful. If they are still earning an income then I would also sit them down and have a discussion about saving as much of a nest egg as possible for the next 5-7 years.
Yep that's the missing piece they never got to in the call that they should have. I feel like if Ken were on the call, he'd probably address that. I think Ken is the most balanced guy on the team.
I love hearing this stuff just when I thought I had heard it all 280k mom and dad will be living on the streets only in America does money and mental illness seem to go together.
Holy Dismoley! We sent our 3 children through college including books and rent, and we only made $100,00. I would never ever expect our children to pay for any of our mistakes, no matter what we did for them. It was for them, not for our future.
Did the parents take out the equity from the property to pay for her college? I think she danced around saying her parents did that and she is debt free. I would love to know what the dad works at. Makes me think he’s a doctor since he’s always had a good income and they move frequently. Because what skill does a 63 y/o have that he’s been hired at that age and that wage???
It doesn’t matter. That was their choice. As a parent, I look forward to the opportunity to help my children financially in their education and at the start of their adulthood. I’ll do it because it will be my choice and bring me joy to help them succeed. They won’t owe me a darn thing except their love.
She didn’t dance around anything. Every time she began to explain anything, they cut her off or talked over her. I agree that it is not her responsibility with the income her parents make, but I would have liked to have heard the information she was trying to give.
@@adamseidel9780 I agree with your statement but I really feel we missed out on why she feels guilty. Because what else could it be if your parent made that much money for most of his life and had nothing to show for it. And yes she couldn’t speak more than a sentence before she was interrupted.
@@mominthe209 she needed to be interrupted. Dave is right, she needs to talk to somebody to get past this. All her language was still self blaming. She needs to be told repeatedly it isn’t her problem until that sinks in.
From the sound of things, nothing this young woman heard made a dent. She'll still think she's responsible for her useless parents. As a parent, I would be sooooo deeply embarrassed to have my own kids have to bail me out financially!
My mom went through about $1M on get rich quick schemes and scammers. Then, when she wanted us to give her money, all 4(four) of us said no. Her second husband left her use of a condo for life, and she threw out Meals on Wheels. She didn't like any of her kids anyway. Tina, Al's wife
Sadly, I’m sensing she’ll eventually take her irresponsible parents in, creating extreme stress on the marriage. After which, her husband will file for divorce.
Best way to release yourself from the delusion it’s your problem: tell them in no uncertain terms they will never be moving in with you. That backup option doesn’t exist. Tell them this even if it’s a nonsequitor.
I wonder if her parents are as worried about being homeless as she is worried about them. How does she know they won’t have anything for retirement? Sounds like she’s worried for no reason.
My thoughts exactly. Her dad is a high earner and paid her tuition so it feels her parents are ok. She didn’t sound like she really knows their financial situation
If her parents are making that kind of money why would they be having a problem getting housing? There is no way her parents should ever need any help. If they are not putting something away for retirement it is all on them. MY mom had a lot less when she was retired and did fine. I would have been fine with helping out if she needed it, but she never did.
My brother and I covered for Mom. It was a duty. It was not unwelcome and within our means. She and Dad covered for us for quite a while. In this case, though, Dave is right.
This trend of taking care of their parents in their old age because they didnt prepare properly is only going to get more common. Parents don't be a burden to your children and put them in a moral dilema because you didnt prepare enough to retire
My story is exactly like this girls. My mom has made a 6 figure income for the majority of her life, and not only did she not save any money for retirement, but she also filed for bankruptcy 2x. She has spent thousands of dollars on expensive clothing, shoes and purses. Luxury cars. Vacations. Expensive housing. Expensive furniture. $600 a month for a daily dog walker. $1000 a month to have a gourmet food delivery service, etc, etc, etc. When I would tell her that she needed to stop spending money and save for her retirement, she would tell me that she didn't need to save any money for retirement because she expected me to financially support her. Then she would tell her friends that I am a hateful child for saying that I would not support her. These situations are very abusive. As a sidenote, my mom has also been married 5x, so her being irresponsible is on multiple levels.
I live on social security $1200 mth. Because I was disciplined to prepare for retirement by paying off my small house and car and have a modest emergency savings account. I live very simply and am content with my cat and garden.
This is really sad, we live in society where others burdens, sometimes our parents, we put on ourselves. At 280k a year, even at the age of 60, I think the parents can get it together
Exactly. At $280k a year they only have to work a couple years to pay off a house completely. Yeah it won't be a million dollar house but it'll be a nice one.
They sure can and his wife can slo get a job to make it over $300K coz she's not at retirement age yet and she can even choose to work past 65 if she wants to. In 2- 3yrs they can buy a house coz they're not supporting any children or grandchildren it's just them(2 of them).
Yes she needs counseling, but to constantly interrupt her, beat her down even more. I think the Ramsey team could have been more kind and yet firm in their advice. She probably initiated the call to help get strategies to deal with this situation other than "you need counseling". Yes her situation is dysfunctional but beating her down even more really was not much help.
This is so true too. I couldn’t stand to be around her either. My goodness woman.... life is hard enough without creating problems that aren’t yours to have.
Yes! Exactly what I was thinking. They didn't let her speak. They constantly interrupted her, so she never got to tell her story. Who knows what's really going on?
Didn't need to hear anymore. What she said was enough. I cannot wrap my head around this call. I just can't. Are there really people who live like this, and their adult child cannot see the wrong and takes on guilt? SMH...
@@julielancelot5651the entire call started off wrong with Dave repeatedly asking a leading question. Perhaps I’m wrong but I think that and the nerves threw her off and after that she never got a chance to even tell her story or get answers to her questions.
These parents sound like debt junkies to the extreme. They've been making $200k+ household income for who knows how many years and they have to worry about retiring homeless??!?
@@darex0827 yes it could be gambling or mental health. I suspect it may be more of keeping up with the Jonses. I worked for well off people and they would just about die if they saw their neighbor or friend with anything newer, bigger, better. It was baffling to me. I don’t know if they ever really enjoyed anything they had.
I guess you missed the part about her dad making 280K. This isn't about keeping her parents off the streets. It's about them guilt tripping and manipulating her.
I understand this bc my mom ended up moving in with me when she became durable at 63 years old. She got disability but bc her spending has been a problem her entire life she had only been putting 3% of her teacher wages into retirement and had withdrawn from it multiple times before she became disabled. She had like 90k in there when she became disabled. I felt bad for her and originally let her move in bc I thought she'd go back to work after her knees were replaced. However when that happened she didn't want to go to work bc the government takes like half your income after a certain amount until you're 66.5 years old if you're already drawing social security so she didn't want to give more money to the government so she didn't work. Years went by and even though she paid me no rent, my uncle paid off her car, and we cooked for her so she had no food expenses she was still having to withdraw from her retirement every year to survive financially. She was spending about 60k a year with no rent, car payment, or food. My incite was sending her money plus she was taking money out of retirement. After 4 years I had have her leave. We moved into a new house and she complained constantly about her bedroom being small(it was a normal guest bedroom size but in our previous house both the master and guest bedroom were the same size) and that my stairs were a killing her. I was sinking 10k into finishing my basement with its own washer and dryer and kitchenette and walk in shower in the bathroom but that wasn't good enough for her either bc it's in the basement. I had to have her leave bc she was not being responsible and then she was complaining on top of it. She's in assisted living right now on Medicaid and pretty upset about it but it is what it is. She could've gone to subsidized housing for seniors but decided assisted living was the better option. Sometimes giving someone money isn't the answer. No matter how much money my mom was given it was never enough. Now she will be given 70 bucks a month from assisted living for what she wants to buy for herself or gifts or whatever but everything else goes to assisted living. She's finally having to accept that she's broke even though she's been broke since my dad stopped paying child support 19 years ago. This girl's parents won't be homeless. They may be in a drastically different living situation like subsidized housing but they don't be homeless. Also, unless you become disabled then age of retirement is a financial situation not an actual age. If they have no money saved for retirement then it sounds like he needs to keep working.
I was just having this conversation (argument) with a close friend yesterday. She took in her ex-husband who is an alcoholic and doesn't work. He's been sleeping on her couch for the last 7 years!!! He had been living in the street and ended up in the hospital and his family called my friend and told her she had to take him in when he got out of the hospital! And she did it and he never left. It is a huge burden for her. Her reason?? (because we've argued about this) He'll end up on the street homeless if I don't let him live here. I just have to bite my tongue in the future when this subject comes up. Maybe I'll tell her to go to Al-Anon. Personally, I'd move across the country to get out of that mess.
@9liveslisa You are the kind of friend that everyone needs. At least you stated your concerns, so that's all you can do. Don't keep badgering her about it, just let it be and try not to concern yourself about it. At least she knows clearly how you feel. As a friend I agree with you...I would feel the SAME way. But after 7 years, it's no longer your concern.
@@girlygirl1890 I completely get that. I suggested Al-Anon because I went t went to Al-Anon for a year and a half. I left my husband because of his out of control drinking and lying. Still loved him, but I chose to not live with him in that mess. I'm sure my friend will keep her ex on her couch until the day he expires. That's her choice.
WTF??? 280K! I gross less than 60 and live a good life. This dude could easily bank 200k/year and still retire a millionaire by the time he's 70. I would be furious with them for being so irresponsible.
Necessity is the mother of invention. If she tells her parents that she's not going to give them any money, and they're not going to live with her, they will "magically" figure it out. I feel bad for this woman. It takes a lot to stop allowing your parents to make you feel guilty.
If they just live on less than 50k like the majority of Americans do for 4 lousy years they could retire with over a million in the bank....what is even happening over there.
My dad started telling my little sister when she was four years old, that she was going to take care of him and mom in their old age. All of us kids put a lot of distance between us and our parents because of their bad behavior - dysfunctional, neglectful, abusive.
Probably the craziest call I have ever heard. My jaw dropped at the $280k. At 63, her father can work for another 2-3 years easily, and making that amount of money, there is no reason why they could not buy a modest home somewhere, fully paid, and in retirement years do fine. The parents need to get their sh*t together. Goodness knows why the daughter thinks she needs to take them in at retirement when she earns so little. She really needs counseling. Cray-cray stuff.
Is mom driving the latest Lexi’s and dad the high end Tesla? I’m only guessing but I think dad could be a doctor since he’s always made high dollars. Doctors are the worst at finances. Many have little to show for their work but they lived their best life.
She's feeling such a burden. Even if she helps, she will live with the guilt of the pressures she puts on herself and her family. They're just trying to help you free yourself.
If my 70 yo mom decides to blow her $90k income from pension/SS as well as her home equity and scapegoat me into believing Im her savior then she is absolutely up crap’s creek cause WE AINT GOT IT!!!
I suspect they told her since they paid for her and siblings school, they must care for parents. If they work for 10yrs & save 100k/yr…they will have saved 1million + interest
The parents have no reason to depend on the daughter for a dime, and if they blow it all and end up needing a roof over their head they are the last kind of people that you want under your own. This is either a troll phone call or else she is in need of professional personal counseling to learn how to establish boundaries.
They made 200-300K annually, and she feels obligated because they paid for her college? No ma'am.
This was one of the weirdest calls ever. How on earth did Marie end up thinking this way? The parents sure did a number on her.
I grew up with somewhat thinking this way. Like you’re supposed to take care of family. They cared for me when I was little, now I’m to reciprocate for them. A real eye opener for me (now that both my parents are gone) ….
Her parents didn't do just one number on her, this is a result of her entire childhood and teenage years being brainwashed by her parents' disfunctional behavior. You grow up believing you're actually responsible for them. Parents that claim their children ought to take care of them in their old age, are parents who always saw children as a burden. No healthy parent will ever want that from their children. Dave's show has done so much for me in this area of family and boundaries, a lot of grown children live their life feeling miserable going along this crap due to this perceived responsibility. I know, I've been there, not to the extent of this caller, but....God knows it was so hard to leave certain patterns l, but I'm worth more, and I am only responsible for MY life. 😊
I hear you, loud and clear. And I agree. Except for dependent children, an individual is solely responsible for his/her life. In many traditional cultures, family cares for family, but this is extended family, not a parent expecting a child to take care of them forever. And in extended family, everyone works and helps everyone, not a parent expecting to be a financial burden to a child forever. I would want no part of a tradition that smothers us with that heavy a burden.
Marie's boundaries seem to be non-existent. It amazes me how little sense of self she possesses. Her entire soul has been robbed and she is left a confused, helpless and completely brainwashed person. Sad to see. But calling Dave for help is a start, maybe a little ray of hope for this poor woman.
Marie, as Ramsay said, needs some serious therapy. The way she speaks lacks good mental health. Even after the 2 hosts pulled her up repeatedly and tried to get her on the right track, it was as if she was in another world not hearing a thing they said.
I’ve been listening to Dave Ramsey for 3 or 4 years now and this is the craziest call I’ve heard. Insane.
Tuba degree!
I think it's tied between this one and this other gal that was adamant on getting into some stupid university with a scholarship in water polo.
@@trebmaster Marco......
@@alinatamashevich3354 Oh wow, forgot about that one! 🤣
@@trebmasterI remember that one, lmk if you want me to find it
My mom moved in with me right before she passed. She always took care of her kids, and there was nothing we wouldn't do for my mom and stepfather. After my stepfather passed, we begged her to move in with one of us. She stayed alone until there was nothing else she could do for herself. It was an honor for her to move in with me. I didn't get the time i thought I would get with her because she always wanted to do for herself.
I was totally with this young lady taking care of her parents until I found out their income.
I hold the same sentiments as you. It doesn’t feel like a burden or a job to pay for things for my parents (which they don’t ask for). Though you can tell based on how she is speaking that something during her upbringing led her to think it was an obligation and not a choice
They have been gaslighting & mentally abusing her her ENTIRE life. She needs to seek therapy; they have been bleeding on her & using their own daughter. She’s not doing it because they’re her parents, she’s doing it because she’s been mind warped.
I JUST got to the part where Dave said her childhood was a mess. BINGO!!
What about the husband?
@@oceansky6207What about him?
@@OopThereItIs77777 what does he think about this whole situation?
@@oceansky6207 Sounds like he’s on board since she said they don’t want them living with her. I hope he’s sat her down, looked her in the eyes, & said “they’ve been mentally abusing you”. She has no idea. This some Stockholm Syndrome type stuff.
Gaslighting does not exist
You are making this up. Its all in your head
I nearly fell off my chair when she said the dad makes over 200K a year! Like GIRL!!! Get out of there! He can take care of himself! >.
Her dad must be living like a King to go through 280k a year and not save any of it. I want to party with him
I do too
😂😂😂
One Ferrari per year.
Dad has no retirement savings and no equity in the home. But what he does have is a brand new can am in the driveway, a toy hauler to keep it in, and a 2024 model year truck to tow it all
I mean he can invest that 280k right now live off 80k. Invest the rest in stocks and will be able to live off the rest. She’s leaving something out because most jobs they pay that much also pay for retirement checks. My grandma will be getting like 10k a month just for being with them for so long. She’s likely assuming something
You would tell she was getting flustered trying to defend this but she needed to be talked to this way. Unfortunately I don't think anything's going to change. She's been emotionally manipulated by these people and she can't even see how broken and messed up this is
So much. She needs some intense counseling. My heart hurts for her
What is broken???? You should take care of them they are your people as well as you can
"Boundaries and you need to memorize it." 😅 love Dave ❤
“This guy lands on his feet like an alley cat” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂 troll call of the year 😂😂😂
As someone who went through abuse that can make you think in a very distorted disturbed way unfortunately I don't think she's trolling
@@physicianskitchen Bingo
Her parents are incredibly irresponsible. Let them figure it out.
Your daddy should have pulled out.
@@tracygaluszynski1868 Yikes, we way past that....
@@tracygaluszynski1868they should have at least 280k by now
There are a lot of selfish people out there…
@@tracygaluszynski1868 sounds like you don’t have a daddy
I thought she was gonna say that her parents were disabled, or some tragedy befell them and used up all their money. But then my mind broke about the same time Jade's did. $280k??? People are out here making less than a fourth of that and still have decent retirement savings.
Yah, I was expecting something like 1 was disabled and the other made $30k working at Wal-Mart. To have been making 6 figures for decades and having literally nothing shows an almost irredeemable level of irresponsibility.
"How in the world your momma ends up a travel agent for guilt trips on you is beyond me"
When Dave said you just went off to another planet that got me rolling because that's exactly what this young lady did
I’ve seen so many of these Ramsey calls and yet, here I sit with my mind absolutely blown!
Jade and Dave work so well together. It too funny that they hear the same things and react at the same time.
She's actively fighting the two of them on air for this. The parents really sunk their teeth into their little girl down to her core so she truly believes she's at fault if she doesn't make mountains move for them when they have SEVEN times her income.
Dave is so good at this. Before she even got started with her explanation he put his finger right on the problem with the question, “Why is that your job?” He knows how to get right to the heart of the matter with his callers.
This was one of the most hilarious calls that I've ever heard from Dave. These two are dynamic together! I love it. lol Pure comedy.
Additionally if your dad has been making anywhere close to that he will have max social security. If he can not make ends meet on that you can’t help him.
This is the greatest call ever! It’s so funny…the craziness is RIDICULOUS
Their physical reactions throughout are glorious.💯 My fave: 4:40
“What in the world, girl??!??”
“Look: NO, no, no…..Nope.”
I took care of my parents each before they died. They had nothing and left me with nothing. I didn't realize it put me way behind financially. Dave's advice and a few others I actually am now ahead. I took care of them because I wanted to. If my parents made what this callers parents made. I would definitely take Dave's advice.
YELLING $280,000 income and is accustomed to making over $200,000. What. The. Flying. F*ck?!?! It is hard to sympathize with careless people.
As a daughter, for my mental health, I had to walk away from my parents financial irresponsibilities. I had paid off my mom’s credit cards and she ran it back up. I gave my dad thousands and he couldn’t account for where he spent it. The First Daughter Bank closed. I’ll offer advice but will never gave money again.
all the money ive given my mom over the years went to support my younger brother's habits
@@johnmitchell8925no way broo wow that’s one of the worst ones
This sweet lady called the wrong people if she is looking for a hug and sympathy. Not going to happen here. God bless her.
This whole shebang is BEYOND bizarre. She DESPERATELY needs to grow a spine.
She's actively fighting the two of them on air for this. The parents really sunk their teeth into their little girl down to her core so she truly believes she's at fault if she doesn't make mountains move for them when they have SEVEN times her income.
No. She needs some intense therapy. She was abused.
@@OopThereItIs77777 Agreed. She was mentally abused.
Truly this is boggling. I cannot even imagine how to spend that much sustained income over decades. I love the advice you gave but I wish this was where the shows bridged and she could be redirected to Doctor John.
Millions of people do it every year, every decade. People ALWAYS find a way to spend the money. It could be 100K or 1 million a year salary. They will have many nice “things” but their retirement account is severely lacking.
Doctor, doctor give me the news, I am bankrupt and still love you.
Its quiet interesting how we reject the reality of our situation and expect to be able to observe it, control it and even change it. I used to be financially depressed until I read a book that made me realized that the secret to making a million is making better investments.
May I ask which investments are good? I've been looking at a few different ones but want others' opinions as well
What I think everyone need is an adviser, who can help you get in and out of any investment at any time and you'd sure be in Profit. With this I feel anyone can basically achieve financial freedom
*STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS* , That's whom i work with
You can glance her name up on the internet and verify her yourself. she has years of financial market experience
Thanks so much I was able to find her page and I already leave her a message
This reminds of a time when I was 18 years old. I was in the car with my older sister and she was stressing out about my moms retirement plan. I will never forget her telling me “You haven’t done anything for mom to save for her retirement plan.” she made me feel so horrible about it then I realized wait this isn’t my responsibility? I should be worried about my retirement plan! Unfortunately my mom at the time didn’t have green card so finding a job for her was tough. Now she got her shit together and she has a stable job with a stable income. My mom is bad with money. So my older sister is constantly worrying about her and always helping her out financially then she complains about her being broke. I’m sorry but our parents brought us into the world. We don’t owe them anything. We have to worry about our selves. Shame on parents for guilt tripping kids as if we owe them something.
It's true. We didn't ask to be born, and the generation coming of age now is going to have a hard enough time taking care of themselves, nevermind their parents.
your lucky to have a responsible sister helping you out with your mom 😒
Knowledge is better than money. She probably started saving for retirement super late compared to most people. Probably doesn't know much about finance or investing. Can't blame people like that, they're looking for something but they don't know what it looks like. I'd feel obligated to help in anyway I can. Not always financial, but I'll help.
It’s pretty clear that the parents are playing the guilt card on this woman. They are looking for a free ride and manipulating her and clearly have been for a very long time.
4:48 I burst out laughing at those reactions. This call is crazy! Homeless earning $300k???
I also laughed , that dad makes 3 times more than they do
😂😂😂
Yeah, I thought Jade was going to fall out of her seat. LOL I think we all had the same reaction. We expected the girl to say her dad was going to be making 25K. But to be making 280K??? You've got to be kidding me. Either this is a prank call or her parents are about the worst that you can be when it comes to handling money. It's one or the other.
I'm actually really glad Dave and Jade were so harsh on this call. If I did not set firm boundaries with my parents, I would be in her same shoes. My dad has made 6 figures his entire career and has a full military retirement + the salary he currently makes. They have 0 equity in their $800k home, tons of consumer debt and minimal saved for retirement. I've made it clear I am not their retirement plan and this lady needs to hear that message too. Their failure to plan is not my emergency/problem. Hope she wakes up before they start asking for money
Harsh would be fine, if he would listen first. They didn't even let her talk. If you go back and listen, you will see that they interrupted her every time she tried to tell her story.
4:49 We have the rare double arm raise! What a ridiculous call.
Man she makes a lot of excuses. Probably her whole entire life.
Clear victim of emotional abuse her entire life. Her dad needs to have the snot beat out of him.
She was emotionally abused, clearly. It’s borderline Stockholm
My sister is the same way.. she mother's & protects our mother especially when she misbehaves
I just want to say thank you for airing this. That lady is telling my story.
It's my story too. It is abuse.
Lost me at 280K bro
Lost everyone at 280k…. You just can’t make this stuff up.
Insanity
bro? what you in high school?
I almost fought her lol
@@Primitive_Code? What
When she said 280k that was like a bombshell lol
Seriously. I was thinking WalMart greeter or similar. Dude makes 3x what his daughter and son in law make combined! This is SO not their problem.
Neither one of my parents prepared for retirement and I was POA for both. We assisted them financially very little but the emotional and mental cost of navigating "the system" was immense. Unfortunately, this caller and her husband are likely going to have to do this at some point. I agree with Dave and Jade that financially assisting the parents is not the callers problem but I would suggest they start preparing themselves now to take over their parents decision making in the near future because it is highly stressful. If they are still earning an income then I would also sit them down and have a discussion about saving as much of a nest egg as possible for the next 5-7 years.
Yep that's the missing piece they never got to in the call that they should have. I feel like if Ken were on the call, he'd probably address that. I think Ken is the most balanced guy on the team.
Unfortunately, bet they don’t listen…
Almost threw my phone at how this lady answered daves questions
JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!!!!!!
OMG!
Yeah that's why Dave had to ask her three times before she finally answered the question.
😂
I love hearing this stuff just when I thought I had heard it all 280k mom and dad will be living on the streets only in America does money and mental illness seem to go together.
Um…she’s the issue here
No house and no money saved for retirement. The question to ask is "What have they been spending the $200K+/year on?"
Viva Las Vegas
I mean, Dave alluded to cocaine as an analogy toward the end, but... maybe it's not an analogy???
@@trebmaster Good catch! She don't lie, she don't lie.......
YOLO
Dave is a savage 😂😭
This woman is gonna end up divorced
Holy Dismoley! We sent our 3 children through college including books and rent, and we only made $100,00.
I would never ever expect our children to pay for any of our mistakes, no matter what we did for them. It was for them, not for our future.
280k a year at 63 he should be saving at least 150k a year into his retirement and in a few years they will have plenty to live a dignified life
"Where do your parents live?"
[Answers question that wasn't asked]
Did the parents take out the equity from the property to pay for her college? I think she danced around saying her parents did that and she is debt free. I would love to know what the dad works at. Makes me think he’s a doctor since he’s always had a good income and they move frequently. Because what skill does a 63 y/o have that he’s been hired at that age and that wage???
It doesn’t matter. That was their choice. As a parent, I look forward to the opportunity to help my children financially in their education and at the start of their adulthood. I’ll do it because it will be my choice and bring me joy to help them succeed. They won’t owe me a darn thing except their love.
She didn’t dance around anything. Every time she began to explain anything, they cut her off or talked over her. I agree that it is not her responsibility with the income her parents make, but I would have liked to have heard the information she was trying to give.
You are correct. No one outside of science and medicine can make this amount of money over 60.
@@adamseidel9780 I agree with your statement but I really feel we missed out on why she feels guilty. Because what else could it be if your parent made that much money for most of his life and had nothing to show for it. And yes she couldn’t speak more than a sentence before she was interrupted.
@@mominthe209 she needed to be interrupted. Dave is right, she needs to talk to somebody to get past this. All her language was still self blaming. She needs to be told repeatedly it isn’t her problem until that sinks in.
From the sound of things, nothing this young woman heard made a dent. She'll still think she's responsible for her useless parents.
As a parent, I would be sooooo deeply embarrassed to have my own kids have to bail me out financially!
My mom went through about $1M on get rich quick schemes and scammers. Then, when she wanted us to give her money, all 4(four) of us said no. Her second
husband left her use of a condo for life, and she threw out Meals on Wheels. She didn't like any of her kids anyway. Tina, Al's wife
“Dave, I make $280k/year and was wondering whether I can afford Guac when we go to Chipotle once per month. It’s extra, you know.” 😂
Yes, but make sure you get it with beans and rice.
I use tomato gauc… comes in little Sachets and is free when you buy a mini fries.
Shake out your kids piggy bank that he saved mowing yards and use that.
No and that’s final. It’s an excessive expenditure 🤣🤣
I was passively listening until she said 280.
It was at THAT point I RAN to the comment section because WHAT!??😮
In the words of Randy Jackson “That’s gonna be a no for me dog”
Dad works FIVE years then he’s a millionaire. Most people will never make a million in a lifetime. I don’t feel sorry for them🤷🏽♂️
This phone call showed is that there is A LOT more going on here than what they were talking about on the phone.
Sadly, I’m sensing she’ll eventually take her irresponsible parents in, creating extreme stress on the marriage. After which, her husband will file for divorce.
I'm glad Dave called her out here and challenged her to think straight
Best way to release yourself from the delusion it’s your problem: tell them in no uncertain terms they will never be moving in with you. That backup option doesn’t exist. Tell them this even if it’s a nonsequitor.
I wonder if her parents are as worried about being homeless as she is worried about them. How does she know they won’t have anything for retirement? Sounds like she’s worried for no reason.
My thoughts exactly. Her dad is a high earner and paid her tuition so it feels her parents are ok. She didn’t sound like she really knows their financial situation
If her parents are making that kind of money why would they be having a problem getting housing?
There is no way her parents should ever need any help. If they are not putting something away for retirement it is all on them.
MY mom had a lot less when she was retired and did fine. I would have been fine with helping out if she needed it, but she never did.
My brother and I covered for Mom. It was a duty. It was not unwelcome and within our means. She and Dad covered for us for quite a while.
In this case, though, Dave is right.
This trend of taking care of their parents in their old age because they didnt prepare properly is only going to get more common. Parents don't be a burden to your children and put them in a moral dilema because you didnt prepare enough to retire
I wish I knew what the parents were spending their money on. Crazy.
Cars, toys, & vacations. Some people blow threw a lot of money when they are out of control.
Or they are alcoholic/drug addicts.
My story is exactly like this girls. My mom has made a 6 figure income for the majority of her life, and not only did she not save any money for retirement, but she also filed for bankruptcy 2x. She has spent thousands of dollars on expensive clothing, shoes and purses. Luxury cars. Vacations. Expensive housing. Expensive furniture. $600 a month for a daily dog walker. $1000 a month to have a gourmet food delivery service, etc, etc, etc. When I would tell her that she needed to stop spending money and save for her retirement, she would tell me that she didn't need to save any money for retirement because she expected me to financially support her. Then she would tell her friends that I am a hateful child for saying that I would not support her. These situations are very abusive. As a sidenote, my mom has also been married 5x, so her being irresponsible is on multiple levels.
@@Nicole-zv7ee YIKES!
My mom gets social security. It is a joke. No one who depends on it are capable of surviving.
How much does she get? Does she have a paid off home? Debt?
@@thinkforyourself9334 she gets the avg. I am her atm so she is square.
I live on social security $1200 mth. Because I was disciplined to prepare for retirement by paying off my small house and car and have a modest emergency savings account. I live very simply and am content with my cat and garden.
People can live on Social Security if they have a paid off house and no debt.
This is really sad, we live in society where others burdens, sometimes our parents, we put on ourselves.
At 280k a year, even at the age of 60, I think the parents can get it together
Exactly. At $280k a year they only have to work a couple years to pay off a house completely. Yeah it won't be a million dollar house but it'll be a nice one.
put them in a home
They sure can and his wife can slo get a job to make it over $300K coz she's not at retirement age yet and she can even choose to work past 65 if she wants to.
In 2- 3yrs they can buy a house coz they're not supporting any children or grandchildren it's just them(2 of them).
Yes she needs counseling, but to constantly interrupt her, beat her down even more. I think the Ramsey team could have been more kind and yet firm in their advice. She probably initiated the call to help get strategies to deal with this situation other than "you need counseling". Yes her situation is dysfunctional but beating her down even more really was not much help.
This lady is pure self-imposed drama. She wants Dave to provide a reason that she is now licensed to control their family.
Most ladies do that.
IMO - This goes on all the time. It's called enabling.
I'm sure her husband will be glad to hear Dave and Jade's responses to this call. This lady has lost her mind...
@@ldtriton It so hot, Jade has lost her sleeves!
This is so true too. I couldn’t stand to be around her either. My goodness woman.... life is hard enough without creating problems that aren’t yours to have.
If your parents make you feel things that everyone else says are absurd they have brainwashed you. You need to see a counselor.
That IS happening
I wish Dave allowed her to tell her story more! I feel like there are details she had that would have helped make sense of the insanity.
Yes! Exactly what I was thinking. They didn't let her speak. They constantly interrupted her, so she never got to tell her story. Who knows what's really going on?
Didn't need to hear anymore. What she said was enough. I cannot wrap my head around this call. I just can't. Are there really people who live like this, and their adult child cannot see the wrong and takes on guilt? SMH...
@@julielancelot5651the entire call started off wrong with Dave repeatedly asking a leading question. Perhaps I’m wrong but I think that and the nerves threw her off and after that she never got a chance to even tell her story or get answers to her questions.
Dave I need some advice my lambo is in the shop and they want to charge me $120 for an oil change but I just cant afford it what can I do?
He would most likely say "Sell the car! You can't afford it!"
@@Sheryl777 at a big loss :)
@@cutlerylover 👍
These parents sound like debt junkies to the extreme. They've been making $200k+ household income for who knows how many years and they have to worry about retiring homeless??!?
That, or there is some serious problems in addiction (gambling, drugs etc) that is draining those accounts.
Debt junkies or just junkies.
@@darex0827 yes it could be gambling or mental health. I suspect it may be more of keeping up with the Jonses. I worked for well off people and they would just about die if they saw their neighbor or friend with anything newer, bigger, better. It was baffling to me. I don’t know if they ever really enjoyed anything they had.
03:06 I legit fell off my chair and coffee went everywhere!
This is probably the most BIZARRE call I've ever heard! ROTFL!!!
I know it’s not her job to rescue her parents but what warm blooded person is going to allow their parents to live in the streets
I guess you missed the part about her dad making 280K. This isn't about keeping her parents off the streets. It's about them guilt tripping and manipulating her.
The reverse Candy Spelling will let her daughter live on the street w/kids
I understand this bc my mom ended up moving in with me when she became durable at 63 years old. She got disability but bc her spending has been a problem her entire life she had only been putting 3% of her teacher wages into retirement and had withdrawn from it multiple times before she became disabled. She had like 90k in there when she became disabled. I felt bad for her and originally let her move in bc I thought she'd go back to work after her knees were replaced. However when that happened she didn't want to go to work bc the government takes like half your income after a certain amount until you're 66.5 years old if you're already drawing social security so she didn't want to give more money to the government so she didn't work. Years went by and even though she paid me no rent, my uncle paid off her car, and we cooked for her so she had no food expenses she was still having to withdraw from her retirement every year to survive financially. She was spending about 60k a year with no rent, car payment, or food. My incite was sending her money plus she was taking money out of retirement. After 4 years I had have her leave. We moved into a new house and she complained constantly about her bedroom being small(it was a normal guest bedroom size but in our previous house both the master and guest bedroom were the same size) and that my stairs were a killing her. I was sinking 10k into finishing my basement with its own washer and dryer and kitchenette and walk in shower in the bathroom but that wasn't good enough for her either bc it's in the basement. I had to have her leave bc she was not being responsible and then she was complaining on top of it. She's in assisted living right now on Medicaid and pretty upset about it but it is what it is. She could've gone to subsidized housing for seniors but decided assisted living was the better option. Sometimes giving someone money isn't the answer. No matter how much money my mom was given it was never enough. Now she will be given 70 bucks a month from assisted living for what she wants to buy for herself or gifts or whatever but everything else goes to assisted living. She's finally having to accept that she's broke even though she's been broke since my dad stopped paying child support 19 years ago. This girl's parents won't be homeless. They may be in a drastically different living situation like subsidized housing but they don't be homeless. Also, unless you become disabled then age of retirement is a financial situation not an actual age. If they have no money saved for retirement then it sounds like he needs to keep working.
I was just having this conversation (argument) with a close friend yesterday. She took in her ex-husband who is an alcoholic and doesn't work. He's been sleeping on her couch for the last 7 years!!! He had been living in the street and ended up in the hospital and his family called my friend and told her she had to take him in when he got out of the hospital! And she did it and he never left. It is a huge burden for her. Her reason?? (because we've argued about this) He'll end up on the street homeless if I don't let him live here. I just have to bite my tongue in the future when this subject comes up. Maybe I'll tell her to go to Al-Anon. Personally, I'd move across the country to get out of that mess.
@9liveslisa You are the kind of friend that everyone needs. At least you stated your concerns, so that's all you can do. Don't keep badgering her about it, just let it be and try not to concern yourself about it. At least she knows clearly how you feel. As a friend I agree with you...I would feel the SAME way. But after 7 years, it's no longer your concern.
@@girlygirl1890 I completely get that. I suggested Al-Anon because I went t went to Al-Anon for a year and a half. I left my husband because of his out of control drinking and lying. Still loved him, but I chose to not live with him in that mess. I'm sure my friend will keep her ex on her couch until the day he expires. That's her choice.
WTF??? 280K! I gross less than 60 and live a good life. This dude could easily bank 200k/year and still retire a millionaire by the time he's 70. I would be furious with them for being so irresponsible.
This lady has been subjected to narcissistic abuse to a) think she needs to do this and b) her parents are comfortable taking what she offers
Necessity is the mother of invention. If she tells her parents that she's not going to give them any money, and they're not going to live with her, they will "magically" figure it out. I feel bad for this woman. It takes a lot to stop allowing your parents to make you feel guilty.
Parents live on $200k+ annual income .... they will NOT want to move in with $80k/yr daughter.
Thats like going from the Four Seasons to Motel 6
I feel for the husband married into that family..
7mins listening to that was enough for me 😁
Same
She shouldn’t have even called in - she didn’t want to listen to anything
"She needs to read Henry Cloud's book and memorize it" lol😂😂
I will take of these parents if the debt 150k into my account annually for the next 10 years.
This woman is going to destroy her marriage over her daddy issues
Yup, this call is screaming future divorce.
If they just live on less than 50k like the majority of Americans do for 4 lousy years they could retire with over a million in the bank....what is even happening over there.
My dad started telling my little sister when she was four years old, that she was going to take care of him and mom in their old age. All of us kids put a lot of distance between us and our parents because of their bad behavior - dysfunctional, neglectful, abusive.
Something tells me her family isn’t even asking her. She’s putting it on herself.
Probably the craziest call I have ever heard. My jaw dropped at the $280k. At 63, her father can work for another 2-3 years easily, and making that amount of money, there is no reason why they could not buy a modest home somewhere, fully paid, and in retirement years do fine. The parents need to get their sh*t together. Goodness knows why the daughter thinks she needs to take them in at retirement when she earns so little. She really needs counseling. Cray-cray stuff.
Is mom driving the latest Lexi’s and dad the high end Tesla? I’m only guessing but I think dad could be a doctor since he’s always made high dollars. Doctors are the worst at finances. Many have little to show for their work but they lived their best life.
Yeah, for him to get a new job and making 280K right out of the gate, he probably is in the medical field. They make good money from the beginning.
This girl needs some solid counseling.
@mwhe3111 👍
Her husband will be gone
She's feeling such a burden. Even if she helps, she will live with the guilt of the pressures she puts on herself and her family. They're just trying to help you free yourself.
Lands on his feet like an ally cat 😂😂😂😂
If my 70 yo mom decides to blow her $90k income from pension/SS as well as her home equity and scapegoat me into believing Im her savior then she is absolutely up crap’s creek cause WE AINT GOT IT!!!
Oooo I need that Boundaries book for my family now!
I agree they have likely been manipulating and financially abusing her forever
I suspect they told her since they paid for her and siblings school, they must care for parents. If they work for 10yrs & save 100k/yr…they will have saved 1million + interest
Bingo. They’ve guilted the girl her entire life. She’s been kind warped & she doesn’t even see if. So sad & upsetting
We take care of my father in law and definitely would take care of my parents when/if needed.
The parents have no reason to depend on the daughter for a dime, and if they blow it all and end up needing a roof over their head they are the last kind of people that you want under your own. This is either a troll phone call or else she is in need of professional personal counseling to learn how to establish boundaries.