OP Lied About Who the Baby's Father Is, but He Somehow Found Out and Wants to Reconcile. However,...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มี.ค. 2024
- I lied about who my baby daddy is. Do I tell him the truth now? (u/ThrowRAbabydaddyhelp in r/relationship_advice)
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“I don’t need to be raising a man either”. Yeah, this kid’s gonna have a good mom
Yeah glad she saw that issue
Funny thing about the story is that I know a Jeff from California and I can't help but think of him. Good thing he's a great guy.
… while I get she should have told him, I’m surprised by how many comments down here are acting like the guy is blameless and OP is just an awful person, like… did they forget that the dude practically lead her on and then deadass said to her “Don’t ever contact me unless you’re on your death bed.”
Like… you do realize how crappy that is to say to someone in this context, and it also puts OP in a lose-lose situation after he said that.
Either OP stays silent and live her life with her kid, but be the bad guy for not telling the guy about it, or she tells him and he thinks she’s lying just to break him and grace up, which also makes OP look bad and rakes her through the coals for it.
Is she innocent? No. Should she have told him? Yes, eventually. But let’s not pretend her ex wasn’t also to blame here too. He was a massive douche here for the shit he pulled.
Bc youtube hates women
She respected his wishes and she got dragged
If she had told him right away she would've been labeled a psycho babymama
We can never win
@@rubymeaddle even when it's a female OP that gets cheated on there are commenters that blame OP for being a doormat and stupid for not noticing
Where are you getting this from? She told him and he stepped up so hard it ruined his relationship because being a present father was more important then his relationship. Grace and him broke up because she didn't want him in his child's life, and he told her to fuck off. What did he do wrong?
@@mikea491 It says in the video and he said himself “Don’t talk to me unless you’re on your deathbed” after sleeping with OP and telling her he’s gonna date someone else. He basically used her and then tossed her aside. He did the same with Grace too in a way.
Which objectively (from a moral stand point), is an awful thing to do. Overall he’s proven to be a really selfish person, even when he was “stepping up” it came across as “me me me this revolves around me and how I feel” and he’s proven to use and discard anything and anyone that he becomes bored with to move onto the new “shiny” thing he’s set his eyes on.
But that’s just my opinion. You do you fam.
NTA... I get how some argue she's wrong for not telling him, but given the circumstances, she did what was best not only for herself but her child since she'd be the main one carrying for the child, even if they got 50/50 custody, some can't handle seeing their former partner in such a way and not make it bitter or awkward, which better than those who try to force it at the child's detriment. He's proven, without a child, he's wishy washy with issue he refused to deal with properly and still playing both teams before all this. That's no one to consider introducing in a kid's life just for them to dip cuz they got "cold feet" midway. He can know, but he has no real grounds to demand involvement when he made the barrier of not contacting her to be with Grace and risk OP looking like a trollup trying to 'get him back'. And why would he have Grace present at a intimate meeting like that on top of being ready to marry her and only suddenly stopped it cuz he found he could be a dad to someone else? Still wishy washy and further reason against him in his judgment. None of this would've happened had his gossiping cousin minded her business. Besides his actions, SHE is the one who 'ruined' everything and cared little for other's feelings and clear situation at hand. Not OP.
She kept her word, she wasnt dying.
I saw most of the comments hating OP but so far (midway) she's fine? Human. Doesn't want to be near him after he completely razed their relationship in a stupid ass way. Single motherhood isn't crazy. She's trying her best and is still engaging with him and is super level headed and emotionally honest about the whole complicated thing- So I'm guessing most of the hate is ppl who just hate people not putting men and fatherhood first lol.
So many misogynists in the comments again. The man said "Don't contact me unless you're dying" and made it clear he didn't want kids and he didn't want to get married to her but you still blame her because men's rights. He was literally in the midst of an engagement and you really expected her to tell him?! Yikes. Just say you have no sympathy for women and only give a shit about guys. Also she shouldn't have to consult him about the name. She's thebone carrying the kid and she's the one who's gonna be stuck with it 24-7 and she shouldn't have to factor in someone flakey just to spare his feelings when he could easily just walk away whenever he feels like it, as he's already done once to her.
Anyone else think that Tanya saved the day and shouldn't be ostracized? 😀
You don't need a therapist to talk things out
She was definitely wrong not to tell him. That was clearly not ok. But she’s also wrong for trusting such a wishy washy man in her romantic life too. I would coparent, and look for someone who really loved “me” and could commit to ME only. I seriously doubt his story on why they broke up. It’s more likely that he was like so many other wishy washy people and just felt like he wanted “new and different” to sleep with, because”exciting”. Like that sh-t ever lasts anyway. New gets old in no time and you’re back to square one on it getting boring and routine. That’s life, it’s no different than a new toy that eventually loses its spark and you lay it aside for whatever shiny new object takes your fancy. I’ve seen both of my parents do that their entire lives. The end result is getting old and sick and dying unmarried without a true love in your life because you couldn’t invest real love into anyone for long. Same for my FIL, husband’s dad. He was so worried about keeping this options open that age crept up on him and he died scared and alone with no love in his life. The good ones all gave up on him and married better more stable men. He had no one who cared in the end, and it literally cost him his life. He fell at home alone and couldn’t get up. He didn’t have his life alert on him to call help to him. He never recovered from that and died in a care facility. If he had married that last little gal who loved him he wouldn’t have been alone and he would have had instant help. (We live in a different city and he burned bridges with his only child, my husband. He told him that he wished that he had died as a child so that he didn’t have to pay child support. Needless to say that did not encourage closeness with his son).
She is so courageous and decisive, a good mother
I can see why this man never married op. She seems horrible. Keeps talking like she is willing to let the dude step up as a father, but tried to shinobi-ghost him like 4 different times. If he hadnt been so persistent, this girl was going to just disappear 100%. She even got mad at him for managing to contact her RIGHT after she had bragged to reddit that she would NEVER think of denying her son a relationship with his dad. Changed her mind real fast there.
Edit: She also cannot stop talking about Grace OVER and OVER again, even when she has basically nothing to do with the situation. But she's totally not envious or spiteful guys, really!
You're defending a man who dumped OP and jumped to marry the next woman he met.
She doesn't want him around because he proved he isn't reliable.
She also said she needed time- and that the contact needed to come from her end,, she also didn't deny him that communication even though she was upset by it.
And yeah,, she was bitter- which she ALSO said clearly. She needed answers, got them, and will probably move on, but Grace WAS relevant- idk if you couldn't listen past your dislike of op, but she was proposed to by the ex RIGHT AFTER he broke up with her bc he didn't want marriage and kids LOL
@@rubymeaddle I don't see anything wrong with that. They were on different levels on fundamental aspects of their relationship. Resentment would have built if she wanted kids in the future and he kept saying no. And, no, not wanting kids and stepping up are two different things. In the end, she seems to have gotten what she wanted. She got him, and she got a kid. Even though she is pretending she doesn't. Woman played the man like a fiddle. She got rid of his fiance and got the man, but also with complete control over him due to the child.
@@GhoulishGrimeI think you're listening ears are broken. He proposed years into the relationship with grace. OP clarified this in an edit.
@@mikea491 The thing is he LIED about why he broke up with her.
See to her her control is gone. She doesn't get call all the shots. Now she has to share. Its about whats best for the child she wants whats best for her.
He's the one that has to make the trip not her
She wants what's best for her baby. Traveling across the country like that is not good for the kid.
@@rubymeaddleExactly! EVERY child deserves their mother! No child needs a father at all though. Hopefully, she can get the max amount of child support from that sociopath!
Yeah she can't be like I'm having your child and I'll choose your involvement - that's not right. He isn't a sperm donor.
She loves the attention.
She's now got him grovelling.
She was wrong to try and hide it.
Jesus. This woman is horrible. It's his kid too.
Edit: She keep getting worse. Does she not realize that this all happened because she didn't tell him?
"I'd never deny him a relationship with his kid."
I fucking doubt that. You weren't even gonna tell him. This woman is a spiteful monster.
Edit, Edit, Edit: Eh, I've mellowed out by the end. She is an asshole for not going to tell him, but in the end I'm kinda meh. She not great, and i dont agree with a lot of her choices, but meh. Dispite her attempt, the kid will have a dad and the dad will have a relationship.
Also, the guy just broke up with her because he knew things would eventually go to shit because she wanted kids and he didnt. Make sense. He was pissed she tired it hide it from him. Also makes senses. And he stepped up. Woohoo. I don't really see how he abandoned her. They broke up. He left. I dont get it.
Hope the baby turns out okay.
No she’s not
He said “don’t not contact me unless you are on your deathbed”
What to you does that mean
@@abduljace5579 Is that what you're hung up on? They broke up, he wanted space. She needed space. But, a baby changes that. In what world would any sane person that wasnt an exception.
At minimum, that baby deserves child support. "I'm a strong independed woman, I don't need child support!" Good for you, but the money isn'r FOR you, it's for the child.
How is she not selfish? I'm honestly not getting this.
doesn't make her horrible
@@HeoBaby24I think it does 😅
I'm on her side in this.