Lee thank you so much, I've been with my ex for over 7 months after we split for almost 1.5 years. Your emergency break up kit really helped. Thank you so much. I'm also really happy to see you getting the recognition you deserve! 👍🏻
@@FUTBOLICO_ i am so glad this happened to you. I hope mine does the same. I tried to approach and meet many girls after her but my the projection of my ex won't leave me.
@@NomadUrpagi leave it to time bro.. just work on your stuff, mine reached out just when I was talking to 3 different girls ... you'll see it will seem like work of magic believe me
It's funny how people keep saying that,what about people who were pushed to walk away? Trust me most people walk away not because they want to but because they were pushed to that point
@@gm3912 I was pushed to walk away and you know what? 8 months after being pushed out that’s exactly what I needed in my life. I’m awake, motivated. And I lost everything from my marriage house, kids, money every month, etc...
@@gm3912not working through issues is immature. The dumper is never the hood guy regardless of how you wanna put it you don’t hurt people like that. I can tell you’ve ruined some people in your life time because of your own unwillingness to work together to resolve issues…. How weak.
Guys.. please please listen to coach lee. During the lockdown In a moment of weakness I broke 32 days of no contact with my ex of 2 years. (Even after watching coach lees videos) Needless to say it went awful - just as coach lee said - it gives them an ego boost, makes them feel they are above you and they get better at rejecting you. The confrontation reopened old wounds and I pleaded until I got blocked. Please do not do what I did. If it’s meant to be they will come back in their own time. Only you can decide then whether you want to move on or not. Please don’t learn the hard way like did. Patience and working on yourself goes a long way. God bless.
I’m so sorry.. but we’ll done for doing 32 days! So strong! Keep going and working hard. Pick yourself up and go again... personally I’m on day 27.. it’s hard
I was there for my x during the lockdown one yr later he be gone , saying shit like he doesn't feel loved. Fuvker I risked getting covid all them times I went out to buy ur high risk ass some groceries
1. Have you changed your mind? 2. Do you miss me? 3. Why did you break up with me? 4. Are you seeing anyone else? 5. Do you see us getting back together ? 6. Can you tell I’ve changed ?
@@saladrollisgreat me too.. i asked all of these questions last month. we broke up 4 months ago. i want to start no contact... i think its too late to do that.. huhuhuh...
Question 4 if the answer is yes. I don’t want them back at all! If I didn’t know and found out later I would feel disgusted and would want the breakup. Its as if they got away with having their cake and eating it too when the relationship meant more to me where I didn’t just jump on a rebound or another relationship right after. I have opportunities. I want to mourn the relationship a few months before anything. Love is sacred and as much as I love them I do love and have respect for myself. I would lose all attraction for them if they took the breakup that far and then tried to come back. I understand you can do whatever you want during a breakup, just don’t come back if you can get under someone else. Please keep it moving. What’s tricky is its rude to ask that right? They might not even have had a rebound and you ruin your shot completely ...so definitely don’t open with that but once they’re warming up, taking things slow...then maybe throw a “hey..were you seeing anyone while we were broken up?” No? Cool. Yes?....Oh okay. Then tell them “I think you were first right about the breakup. “ I’m no ones sloppy seconds, backup, or experiment! Lol don’t say that part thats more of an inner monologue. That’s my personal boundary and I feel very strongly about that. I wouldn’t be able to see them the same way or love them again if that happened.
If y’all are chasing your ex’s please don’t do yourself a favor and let them the F go and move on. Save your self the continuous heart ache. If they want you they will reach out and do their best to be back with you but even then don’t.. Move on.. Wish you all the best! Happy healing!
@@davidchang5265we all have different takes in life. Do what you feel is right in your heart and mind. Usually when those two don’t align it’s the wrong decision. In the end respect yourself and put yourself first no one else. Happy healing!
I think I am finally going to truly let go. I just won't bother anymore, I don't have the strength. It is scary, but my brain and heart deserve to feel calm instead of having this hope. For those who are still fighting to get their ex back, good luck, and same for those deciding to move on.
When my ex left me a month ago after nine years of being together that's the reason she used "I need to work on myself" me being a jackass asked her why can't you do that while you're with me which of course she had no answer for. A few days ago her father informed me that she was already dating somebody else. So I guess now I know the real reason she left me. I can't even bring myself to be mad at her. Sometimes it really sucks to love somebody unconditionally.
LLL888, When they say things like that, they usually lose attraction. That happens many times. If you need some help, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit. There are strategies in there for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I'm good, already messed things up way too much by being needy and desperate when she left me. I lost all my dignity to that girl, there's no getting that back. She's with somebody else, even if it is just a rebound I shouldn't try to get her back. It's time to walk away.
@@luftpods4444 I'm doing way better now. Once I took my focus off of her and put all of my energy into myself my whole perception of the situation changed. It went from being a painful experience to a blessing. I'm in the best shape of my life now financially and physically, but still got some work to do mentally though lmao. Started trying to put myself out there and date again but it's not easy after being in a relationship for that long. The game has changed a lot. Such as life though. I will Adapt and overcome as I always do. Side note: I did end up hearing from my ex about 9 months of no contact. She apologized about the way things ended and wanted the meet up for drinks. I won't lie this rubbed me the wrong way a little bit cuz I kind of figured she's only reaching out because her rebound ended. I simply thanked her for her apology and told her let's let bygones be bygones, there's no point opening any old wounds. She said that sucks because she really wanted to see me but she understood. So the no contact stuff definitely works if you want your ex to reach back out to you but honestly I think it's best to not look back and keep moving forward. It's not worth giving to somebody who is capable of discarding you on a whim or because they think they found somebody slightly better than you in their eyes. It will only diminish yourself worth if you let somebody do you like that.
The no contact rule is tough to do. However, I make sure to listen to you talk about it, and it helps me to stay strong and not reach out. Thanks, coach Lee. And thanks for caring about out broken hearts.
My girlfriend just broke up with me a few days ago and it was rough. I never thought I could feel so destroyed and fragile. The grief recovery phase can take a while, but since finding this channel, listening to his voice and his message has been able to instill confidence. Its gonna take a while for things to feel okay, and who knows maybe I can try again with her and we can be happy again, but either way I know I have this channel to help me feel okay again. Thank you man.
any updates on your situation? not sure if you wanted them back in the end or not but if you did did you ever hear from them or even reach out yourself?
@@ChaoticCobras @cartoonz yes, so after about 2 weeks into no contact she texted me to ask if we could talk. We met up and tried to figure a few things out. It didn't last though as even though it was just two weeks, reuniting with her felt off. We both eventually decided to part ways again and we haven't talked since. It was definitely sad, I still loved her and to this day I still love her. But not I'm the same way. It took about 5 months before I began to completely let go. During that span I decided to detach from the world and go work in yellowstone national park to hike and backpack. There I was able to heal while feeling at peace with the beautiful animals and mountains around me. I eventually met someone else and we've been happy ever since. If I'm honest, I have my last relationship to thank for making this one all the better. I learned from my mistakes and her mistakes, and i think in return I became a better boyfriend. I have no regrets. I'm glad I let myself feel the pain instead of going numb and running away from it.
@@samknabel849 that’s awesome to hear that you’re at least doing better. i hope something positive comes my way, whether it’s her or someone better (if that’s even possible) or just being free and happy again like i used to be. i am in a torturous hell
@@ChaoticCobras here's my best advice. Don't run away from the pain. But don't just sit in misery for the sole purpose of feel bad for yourself. Find something you enjoy and go do it. Right now is a reasonable time to splurge a little bit. treat yourself to something you've been wanting for a while like a new book, or video game. For me it was a new guitar. Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you. It makes you no less a man to just need a shoulder to cry on. I can tell you this for sure. Everything will eventually be okay, it may take a while. For me it was 6 months. For others it may be a year or two.. but just know that through this pain there is a positive, the love you have is real and it can be real for someone else again.
I dont have any plans on getting back with ny ex but your videos helped me a LOT during this tough times. My prayers for those who are hurting rn. We all dont deserve this 🙏
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
I broke up with my ex and then asked if this is a break or break up bc i didn’t think it was fair that I would wait until he got over how hurt he was and decided if he wanted to work on things... needless to say, he set me free. He said it was a permanent beak up after sending me mixed messages and expecting me to wait for him while he lived his life. Ladies and gents, move on for yourselves. To grow and prosper. Do not contact them. Reflect on your mistakes and how you can improve in the future. Assess why you behaved the way you did and vise versa. The best thing you can do is become the best version of yourself and let them regret letting you go. Be the best you! Coach Lee, I’ve watched so many of your videos. Thank you for your guidance, you e truly empowered me and helped me during my healing process.
Leave them alone don’t say anything don’t look at what they up to move on if they want to come back it’s in your terms get the power back and also build personal Strength in the process! Great vid coach lee! Good bless y’all
Yeahhhh, I'm not getting back together with my ex unless I get answers about why- AND how- he ended things the first time. It sounds a lot like you're telling us to just start with a clean slate whenever they decide to come back, as if they didn't cause massive amounts of pain and take a bulldozer to our lives. He made the mess, he gets to clean it up. If he doesn't want to clean it up, he doesn't get me back.
You just answered my 70% relationship failures. These questions get sincere answers and positive responses only in movies. Great insight that is so hard to master without proper guidance.
After 5 years I can feel confident I know her answers with more clarity than she'd ever honestly answer: Q1 Have you reconsidered: "Yes, but I'm determined to see this through because I'm exceedingly stubborn." Q2: Have you missed me: "Yes, and I'm driving my friends crazy swinging back and forth between missing you horribly and laughing about rebounds. The mood swings and depression are alienating my rebound boy too. And I have been obsessing over a single hobby that involves him absolutely nonstop without leaving the house in six weeks in order to avoid all distracting, rational thoughts." Q3: Why did you break up with me: "Too many irreconcilable differences and you failed to live up to my impossible expectations. I wanted you to be more involved in my life, and when you did that I lost respect for you. I don't actually know what I want. I started an affair again and the tingles seemed more exciting and I felt guilty dragging you through the mud yet again. And all my friends are 21 and gave me rash impulsive advice that I followed blindly." Q4: Are you dating someone: "Yes, again. Just like every time. He's in a foreign country and it's going to take flying there before I lose interest seeing him in person. I attempted to hook up with fifteen desperate casual encounters guys locally but they failed to materialize after I sent nudes. Now even more nudes are circulating broadly endangering my career." Q5: Do you see us getting back together: "No, I can't stomach the guilt of being so horrible to you. And I am conflicted due to saying that you were conversationally dismissive of most feminist therapists while I simultaneously shut down the option of actually seeing one." Q6: Can you tell I've changed: "You lost a lot of weight and it makes me uncomfortable that you are half a foot taller than me and now weigh significantly less. I'm going to go be depressed, spend $500 on bathtub lotions and bubblebath and a 50 kg mountain of epson salts and have five baths a day for a month then attempt to hook up with a stranger. You still won't live up to my unrealistic, neurotic expectations though. And however many failed affairs I start, I won't acknowledge that I am contributing to the lack of trust. If you try to approach me with a reasoned, adult discussion on the topic it will make me feel sad and therefor it's abuse." Give us Part 2: How do we answer if they ask these things haha.
Hey buddy, thanks for the reply. I forgot all about posting this two years ago and it's interesting to see how I looked at that split back then. It's been a journey and over the last two years I've developed a fairly consistent interest in the topic of relationship dynamics, moreso than I'd ever have imagined myself diving into. On Q3, I've had a lot of breakthroughs on what the push and pull between a woman being upset that she's not getting what she wants and yet losing respect when she does is incredibly puzzling. The books "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" both had incredibly eye opening analysis of this dynamic, and the concept of covert contracts was an invaluable one to take on. Although I think Coach Lee has great advice for managing the short term freak outs immediately after the termination of a long term relationship, particularly in not alienating yourself further and reducing her respect for you further by sending her endless messages after the switch has gone off where she no longer loves you and begins to see her ex as a threat when he does so. Rian Stone does a more thorough job of tackling the work you can put into becoming a man who excels in relationships and life. That's been my path, anyway. And a path which I've found incredibly rewarding. Good luck to you. @@Flick14
Coach Lee, I appreciate your words, and how you deliver them. Other self help coaches on relationships talk to damn fast, have no personality or are arrogant. Keep up your good work!
My relationship with my ex goes in depth. That’s why I’m still holding on. I can’t blame him all the time, because I feel that he’s broken to a certain extent.
We're all a little broken. That's why we need to have more compassion and understanding with each other. I'm working on having fewer expectations and more acceptance; not living out my fear from previous relationships; and not worrying too much about the future. I'm trying to live more in the moment now and be more mindful. The breakup really rocked me to my core and really shook me up -- any anxiety I was living with day in and day out, and pain I was carrying from my past, finally came to the forefront, and I'm having to acknowledge it now instead of just trying to handle it just to get through each day. Now I'm examining it and learning ways to get past it, forgive, and cope better. We're all only human. We make mistakes, we're not perfect. But the best we can do for ourselves is try to learn from every situation and improve ourselves where we can. I still love and miss my ex everyday, we both made some mistakes, but I know I have healing to do on my own right now and learning to control the only thing I can: Me. Just trying to do the work. 💕
One of the hardest things in life is not knowing. When you’re the dumpee, that time of kneeling on the floor trying to piece back together every part of you that’s been broken is one of the toughest things to do. I can’t wait for that moment when I’m strong enough to let go. This just tells me I am capable of love.
Naes. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which is excellent. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation. A very POWERFUL Kit. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Absolutely true! They are accountable for their decision. Keep strong with NC. Appreciate your value. When tables are turned, let them ask the questions. Be wise how you handle the answers. ❤
Coach Lee is so good that for every video I've watched there's an ex running back to me 😂😂😂 no seriously, I feel so much better after binging on your videos for 2 hours, what a relief! To think I found you just as I was about to casually text him after 10 days of no contact can only be described as a miracle and God's providence. 🙏
A few days ago (3.5 weeks since our breakup), we had a 2.5 hour long discussion about what went wrong, why what happened happened etc. We both cried. I presented a second chance and he said no. The next day he said "I don't know what I want" and said he has alot to process. I said I'll give him space. So I think no contact for a few weeks will be good for both of us. Our breakup reasons were very clear and very fixable but I cant fix those things if he doesn't want to. I hope when he figures out what he wants, it's me. But I just want him to be happy. He's hurting so much right now.
Petite Beauty Be strong. He could be going back and forth. I'll pray for you and don't listen to the WhatsApp reply. Could be a scam because I saw it on other comments.
@@NomadUrpagi it's not always easy for women! I've been waiting 8 months for my ex to give us a second chance but he doesn't want to at all or even yet. I work with him too so no contact is not a choice I have
Coach Lee you are the best... I bf broke up with me for the 3rd time a month ago. Usually I'd beg and chase him. I bought the emergency breakup kit I went into no contact. Guess what?... he reached out to me saying he's just checking on me... No contact works. Listen to coach lee
Them contacting you is them admitting they have been thinking about you and most likely missing you. That doesnt mean that they will change the issues that caused the break up. They may want you back and feel they arent in the wrong or you may have been in the wrong but their contact is proof that they are thinking about you and missing you to a certain point
Thank you for this. He messaged me twice last week but went back to his rebound. How to let him go? Keep trying to distract myself I guess. It's been months and he's still always on my mind. I'm still so very very sad. Knowing he's been with another I can't forgive that tho. Thanks tho
@@countcrow Think about all of your bad moments together, seriously; good relations aren’t brittle and if someone’s def. not a fighter (choosing to rebound) and giving up easily they are NOT worth it.. We tend to romanticize the good memories only.. As time goes by the more it feels like a blessing having personal freedom and another person having to deal with a lot of future BS 😅 They will have to call us for advice one day (figuratively speaking)
You truly get where we are in this grief process. I don’t know if I want my ex back because he chose to break up with me over text while he was traveling for work, and the way he wrote it, I wasn’t sure if it was really a breakup. I asked questions that went unanswered and he did not contact me per our usual multi check ins when we’re away from each other, so of course, I figured it out. I don’t think this is recoverable as far as potential reunion. I’m moving out of our house as I write this. We’ve been engaged for almost 3 years. We are much older (61, 60) than the usual. Blew me away. I had been happier with him than at any other time in my life. I want to handle this with grace and ease and with as much of my dignity as I can salvage, and heal my broken heart as well as I can. Thank you for your videos.
If someone breaks up with you, you walk away and never look back. Asking questions makes it looks like you need some validation from them. Don't even bother.
My experience with BDS is to have firm boundaries and be consistent. If the person can't be helped, you RUNNNNN and never look back. Block/cut that person out of your life.
Hello I'm so excited my broken 💔💔 relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we leaving and happily together, I got help from a great man he's real and specific 💯
I do start to think that I am a very weak person. Day 10 and I am so devastated. It is a real fight to keep up the NC. Only these videos keep me at it. But it's very difficult not to break the NC.
@@giovannimorgan8728 She contacted me again. We got back together. She wanted me to move in and so it happened. We married after that and planned a child. Was it worth it? Nope. Breakup was November 2022. Turned out my wife is borderline. I did everything for her but yet she is in a psychotic episode and see's me as the devil in person. She just gave birth to our daughter recently... told me 5 days after birth because she needed something else, only allowed me to see my daughter for 10 minutes in her hallway... apart from that I am blocked like a criminal, not getting information about my daughter... but I have a lawyer. That is how the future will look like, my lawyer will have a ton of work. Once in a while, my wife unblocked me, to tell me how good of a person I've been, to then eventually push me away again. The typical borderline "I hate you, don't leave me" behaviour. In short... yes, NC worked, as she is borderline, it trigger hear abandonment fears and she started chasing me. And after that it was kinda beautiful, she bombed me with love... but that was just the calm before the storm. Her mask has fallen, she started devaluing me after that. NC can work... but it doesn't mean that the outcome will be good. Could have dodged a bullet. I didn't. My daughter makes me happy anyway and I will fight for her.
@@VideosVonDennis I’m sorry that happened bro. Maybe sometimes us men should just take the loss and move on. It’s hard cause we really love the women we’re with.
@@giovannimorgan8728 That's something I asked myself month over month. When things just didn't work before, why didn't I just move on? It's what you said, because we truly love, we want to land somewhere and be happy. I can not kick myself for the desire to love and be loved. Maybe I should have seen the red flags, sure... but now things happened. In my case, what's bad is that she's really "high conflict" borderline.. even now months after breakup, she attempts to lure me back in and can be super charming, to turn into hater just hours or days later and cause new damage (I am not kidding when I say DAMAGE). She truly loves and hates in alternation. But currently she has a fullblown psychosis and believes things I never said or did. I have communication channels open as I am still interested to get information about our baby... NC won't work anymore... but I am Low Contact now... when she unblocked me, I will only contact her or reply when it's about the baby. I don't do LC to get her back...this time it's a different reason. I just want to minimize conflicts and be less exposed to her... for my sanity.
Years ago I had a guy text me every few weeks asking if I’d change my mind and I remember how annoying and infuriating it was. It’s like dude I will TELL YOU if and when I do. It’s almost insulting, like they’re trying to force their will on you.
@@ptrsrfns that’s the one thing we don’t have much of in life. Time. I learned this too late after the longest and most significant relationship of my life. I’d do anything to get back to what I had.
If you’re reading this in 2024. Just go no contact. No matter how good staying in contact had been, You’ll feel so much better. When you’re talking to or seeing this person frequently, you will feel the strongest urges to ask these type of questions
Thank you Coach Lee..in the process of getting divorced after 20 years (wife initiated it) and I wish I saw your videos at the START of my divorce in late February. Since then (and before your advice) I was guilty of all of your things of what NOT to do, lol. I hope its not too late
Ray Ray, I highly doubt that you get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely. Its a POWERFUL Kit, and it has strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
She reached out today and I kept it pretty reserved. She asked about me and how I’m doing... texts back and forth for a bit snd then the conversation fell off.. Time to go back to no contact til the next episode
My question to her is, “Why do you send me memories?” Why send me memories, when she’s seeing someone else. Why bother me when I gave her space. I don’t bother her. I give her space, I don’t say nothing mean about her. She tells me she’s knows I still care about her. She doesn’t think. She knows. After 8 months.
Thank you so much coach Lee! Your videos are so helpful. I mostly watch them just for getting all that knowledge you possess. Unfortunately, in my case, we won’t go back together. We were together for 10 years, and we broke up about a year now. But I know there is still hope for other people. May God bless and help you all.
You were being “fished”, just to make sure you are still waiting for them to want you back, and that they can have you back at the snap of their fingers. As hard as it is, walk away from them, do not look back, and mean it. Work on yourself, to make you the best you possible. That will make you much more attractive, will make it much more likely your ex will reach out to you, and much more likely you can have them back and build a new relationship that can and will last-IF YOU want to. It will also make you much more attractive to new and higher quality, more compatible potential partners. Let yourself heal, and truly, honestly move on. Connect with other people, date, open yourself to new romance, and allow yourself to be happy. All of this will make your ex realize that they may have really lost you, that maybe they can’t have you back by snapping their fingers, and will make them fear loss. That will also make you more attractive to them, and more likely to reach out to you again. It will also put you in the wonderful position of having options, and being the one who gets to make the choice-not your ex. Most exes do reach out eventually. I have seen statistics as high as 90%. Most do not result in reconciliation, however, because in most cases the person dumped hasn’t done anything to improve themselves. Taking the actions taught by Coach Lee, that I have summarized here, optimizes your chances of successful re-attraction and reconciliation. You have absolutely nothing to lose, and everything to gain. If you impose total no contact, walk away and not look back and really mean it, work upon improving yourself and becoming the best you possible, and really move on, then whether your ex returns or not, you win and you will be happy.
@@johntrench I agree with everything you said ! I was just wondering if not wishing back the ex a happy birthday in due time is rude and would be the equivalent of not answering their message (a thing coach Lee always advises not to do)?
@@SIMSIMSAMANTHA it isn't rude. It is essential. Do not contact an ex until they reach out to you first, in a way that is substantive, not vague or trivial.
After almost 4 months of NC mine did the same on my fb wall in a cheery way and using my name but just as generic as a birthday wish he gives strangers, I simply replied with a cold "thanks" and only liked it, not a heart react and friendly thank you like I did with most other people. I did wish him a Happy Birthday on his but not on his wall, underneath a message he left almost a year ago when he was being really mean to me. Simply "Happy birthday" and he just said "Thanks!" and that was it.
I'm very impressed by what ur saying. I was recently dumped and to be fair my ex is going through a difficult time and I respect that...But I did I beged for him to reconsider. Then I realized I was going down the crazy rabbit hole and acting like a child. Now I choose to respect his descion and move on with dignity, no matter how much I hurt . Thank you I find these videos when I needed to.
In my experience, too much texting is a relationship killer. It should be used only to set up dates. When you spend time with someone is when the magic happens.
I did all the wrong things, begged, said mean things, said I wouldn't make payments anymore. I did apologize to her and say that I didn't mean any of it then I went into no contact (without announcing it of course) The fact that I'm making payments still is proof that I really was sorry. After I did everything wrong I still ended up getting your emergency break up kit, even if I messed up my chances I got it for a future break up and man it's packed with super helpful info it's like you're there with the viewer in person it's amazing!
I gave her a letter yesterday before your video and said I've changed etc I can tell you all day and you won't believe me but I can show you. I now am reflecting upon your video and uhhh feel underpowered now lol
When he came back after a 4 month block, he said he needed me in his life again. I asked if he missed me and he said yes. I told him to promise to never block again and he promised he wouldn't. BUT!!! Here I am again, 4 months after another block and this time there was no argument at all. Before the block he said life got too serious, that his father was dying. I dont understand why that has to come between us.
Well after being in NC for 3 days I got the “cat statement” “I might go see Bryan today” Bryan is our cat. You’re good man. Didn’t ignore was cool calm collected and slightly short and back to NC.
Coach Lee, thank you for loving my comment on the no contact rule. Pushing 3 wks now. I had already done 3 wks and 3 days. I’m at 3 wks and a day this time. Am going to strive for the 45 days or longer. Thank you!
Was married for 16 years we have 5 children, been separated since July she served me divorce papers on Valentine’s Day. She said she isn’t going to turn in the papers to the court yet she wants to seek counseling to see if she can look at me any differently and if she can get over how bad I hurt her. She had an affair with my sons teacher back in July, I caught her so she kicked me out and since then she’s blamed the break up on me. What can I do?
Honestly reading the comments it's not black and white. I broke up because we kept getting back together too soon and he did become a dictator in the end he disrespected me so badly that I couldn't ignore it and broke up. I may wait forever waiting for an apology from him because in the past I broke NC too soon, we train each other consciously or subconciously we look for equals in our relationships and someone to admire. Work on yourselves, be the best you can be for YOU, your family, friends (and kids if you have them).x
Yeah..I asked why he broke up with me, he told me the reason would hurt me too much.....Yeah...DONT ASK...because that answer hurt me more than no answer.
I started watching your videos out of desperation and to calm my anxiety at first but as time is passing NC is really helping me to find my own worth and I started questioning if I even want him back. I still love him like I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else and miss him a lot but I’ve come to realize how much was really not right. Currently in a fight between heart and logic I guess. He’s a commitment phobic and basically found the best excuse why we won’t work out in the long term. Wanted to stay friends tho which I more or less denied. Not sure how high my chances are but NC is really the only thing left I can do. For myself to heal and move on in the first place. Trying not to make it about whether or not he comes back but of course that’s still on the back of my mind. (Hope that was proper English lol)
I think people who fucked up for which ever reason and your ex tolerated the behavior till they saw there was no change, and broke up with you. NO CONTACT should be definitive for you to fix yourself. So in that case give yourself time and IF your ready for whatever the outcome break no contact.
What do you do.. if you did break the "no contact" rule? What questions do you ask? The panic is real when it seems like they "easily moved on", when all you want to do is work things out, to talk and communicate. 😔
I’ve watched a lot of getting my ex back videos, yours thoroughly breaks it down at levels critical to understand. 🧐 Excellent content, maybe I’ll have the opportunity to apply these principles in the future. We’re miles apart in a few ways. Thank you, Coach Lee
In my situation things were going very well, literally nothing that should cause a relationship to end. Just my lady double guessing the entire love thing.. has some things she needs to figure out. Basically not getting what I deserve but I do love her and care too much just too curl over and not give her time and space to do what she needs to do to be ready. I’m doing the no contact but it’s is o tough because she stays in contact with my family, and her family contacts me and it’s all just a lot for me. Still working, working out, and keeping myself focused as much as one can while dealing with heartache/missing someone. If this no contact works I’m going to donate money to you Coach Lee. I’ll keep you updated. I truly love this woman.
Yeah it really sucks sometimes...I felt our relationship was going really well and the next thing I remember its over out of nowhere and I keep on replaying everything over in my mind its so tough when you really love someone. I'm in no contact almost 3 months I try to keep myself busy with extra shifts at work and have a nice workout routine going. I think about her all the time I hope coach lee is right but I feel she will never reach out to me😔 The only thing I can do is make myself a better person one day at a time!
@Joana Landra nothing much really, she did message me once saying she needs time to think about everything I’ve said, with how I’m ready to be with somebody who can be my partner and get through everything together and grow. She was glad to hear it but I can tell she isn’t ready for that yet, she’s a single mom to a 1 year old and needs to get some stuff straightened out. Great news though is I know that I need to put all of my time and energy into making myself stronger physically mentally and spiritually. I know what we had, was and could be so amazing and effortless but I can’t force it right now.
@@TRYCLOPS1 still has not contacted me once. It’s okay I’ve completely lost all feelings for her and hope she is doing well.. I’ve found a new person, we’re friends but who knows what the future holds?
The fact that somebody wouldn't be able to answer the question of why or what caused a person to break up shows a very much lack of self-awareness. More often than not the dumper never just breaks up with somebody and chances are there were arguments before said break up. And honestly if you can't even go back and reflect on everything that happened your choices your actions and their choices and their actions knowing where you could have done better knowing where you could have handled things better along with what you did right in the situation. If you can't ask yourself and probe with in yourself these deep self truths you're not going to be able to actually be able to get an answer that you're ever going to be able to be satisfied with so in my opinion the question of " why do we break up in the first place " is an answer that shows they did not do the work after the breakup. Plain and simple Edit, also if a girl is dating another guy afterwards then that is absolutely a reason to never get back together because here's the logic behind my decision on that is there was a time in your ex's life before you existed and there is a time when you existed on their conscious level and if they are able to replace you than they are able to replace you. The only time a ax should ever have to replace you is if you are a widow or if you know s*** are literally breaking up you never taken ex back who is dating another person because that shows how little they actually valued you and how easily you will be replaced.
Hello I'm so excited my broken 💔💔 relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we leaving and happily together, I got help from a great man he's real and specific 💯
My ex just ran to another relationship 2 months of no contact after ten years he told me he was in love with someone else he is happier and he wants to make effort with her and wants a future with her because she is everyhing he ever wanted. He said that to my face .my God even if true he loved hurting me....yep different sunset he EXCATLY I go live my life he and her live theirs. They have been together 4 months now and I still can not breathe .
He has made it clear over and over he doesn’t want me. I don’t ask these questions because there’s no room for it. He took the step to leave me and doesn’t want to look back at all. It’s as if he hates me, I know he doesn’t. He definitely doesn’t love me anymore he loves our memories our life but he does t want me anymore I feel it strongly. There’s no clear reason. He just decided and he’s told me once he decides something he doesn’t change his mind
I pray the universe grant your heart desires, Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of a great spiritualist Who brought my ex after many months of separation,,,,
I assumed im on closure at the 90 day mark which is around right now. It was a genius idea that Coach Lee smuggled over here: "assume you are on closure. The break up is the closure".
Well, I didn't ask any of this questions to my ex because we haven't talked in like almost 2 months when I started no contact. However, when he broke up with me, I asked him if he was able to see a future with me, and he said yes, because I was "the best girlfriend he ever had"... But now watching this video, I believe that he just said that for compromise, not because he felt the same way as myself in that precise moment... or that is what he's trying to show. And even if that's true or not, it's hard to realize but it helps me a lot to understand his behavior towards me from that day until now. That answer and also his silence is telling me so much more, guess he didn't love me after all haha 😅🤷🏻♀️ Thank you, Coach Lee, your videos always help me a lot to understand and that makes me feel better in a certain way. Btw, I really like when you say "... and mindfulness", sounds really fancy haha 🤭
Yes silence... then dumps me then dumped her she beg me back only to dump me tell me move on then calls month later or so and goes bad cuz stood up for myself she said fine ill never reach out again f sakes!! Tire of come here go away long dist relationship shady red flags on off whole 13 month relationship just wanna be over her stop crying stop obsessing stop hurting/
My ex told me im not ready for a relationship. Im not over my ex. Im not ready for commitment.. 6 months in. Which is bs lol. I been in no contact 7 months. Im over her. Its her loss. It gets easier ppl
Thank you Coach Lee for your advices, it is my faults that I didn’t watch all of your advices videos at the start. I have asked many of those question and now all my ex say to me is “give me some time”. He said that he is trying to fall in love with me again but I worry that he might change his mind before he falls in love with me and sees someone else.
I asked a couple of these questions. Definitely made things worse. We haven’t spoken since late December and we broke up in late October. Beginning to feel this is hopeless.
@@giovannimorgan8728 I moved on with my life. I have been with someone else now for almost two years. We are moving in together and are happy. I am so grateful I never got back with my ex. He was not the person for me.
I would also like to know how to handle this situation! I know there is limited contact but I work closely with him so I have to do a lot of contact. I miss him so much even though I see him every day
I did asked him to enumerate for me the reasons why he broke up with me 😂 and I felt better after. Atleast I understood and everything is clear with me. I now manage to accept things easier every day. Only God knows what's next in my life 🙏
Lee thank you so much, I've been with my ex for over 7 months after we split for almost 1.5 years. Your emergency break up kit really helped. Thank you so much. I'm also really happy to see you getting the recognition you deserve! 👍🏻
What? She came back after 1.5 years? Wow u giving me hope
@@NomadUrpagi my ex contacted me this 14 feb . 1 year and 1 month after a breakup....no contact and BUILD YOURSELF...they'll know
@@FUTBOLICO_ i am so glad this happened to you. I hope mine does the same. I tried to approach and meet many girls after her but my the projection of my ex won't leave me.
@@NomadUrpagi leave it to time bro.. just work on your stuff, mine reached out just when I was talking to 3 different girls ... you'll see it will seem like work of magic believe me
Do u have this kit
Broke no contact after 30 days and I feel like shit. Guys, stay strong. You will feel worse after you break no contact. DO NOT BREAK NO CONTACT!!!
Snakes and ladders - do that and it's back to square one
Update??
I did it yesterday I fucked up
@@giovannimorgan8728 let’s say she’s is my frame now and I call the shots!!😎
On day 29 here and I won't. I really want to, but I can't throw 29 days away. He has my number, he can reach out if he wants to.😢
Never beg anyone who walks away from you. Respect yourself and let them go
It's funny how people keep saying that,what about people who were pushed to walk away? Trust me most people walk away not because they want to but because they were pushed to that point
@@gm3912 I was pushed to walk away and you know what? 8 months after being pushed out that’s exactly what I needed in my life. I’m awake, motivated. And I lost everything from my marriage house, kids, money every month, etc...
@@rsears78 I'm proud of you! You're strong
@@gm3912not working through issues is immature. The dumper is never the hood guy regardless of how you wanna put it you don’t hurt people like that. I can tell you’ve ruined some people in your life time because of your own unwillingness to work together to resolve issues…. How weak.
Guys.. please please listen to coach lee. During the lockdown In a moment of weakness I broke 32 days of no contact with my ex of 2 years. (Even after watching coach lees videos) Needless to say it went awful - just as coach lee said - it gives them an ego boost, makes them feel they are above you and they get better at rejecting you. The confrontation reopened old wounds and I pleaded until I got blocked. Please do not do what I did. If it’s meant to be they will come back in their own time. Only you can decide then whether you want to move on or not. Please don’t learn the hard way like did. Patience and working on yourself goes a long way. God bless.
What was your text when breaking no contact?
I’m so sorry.. but we’ll done for doing 32 days! So strong! Keep going and working hard. Pick yourself up and go again... personally I’m on day 27.. it’s hard
Crap this is hard I just made 24 hours 3 minutes ago!!😫🥵🤬
I was there for my x during the lockdown one yr later he be gone , saying shit like he doesn't feel loved. Fuvker I risked getting covid all them times I went out to buy ur high risk ass some groceries
@@Gabby0026 some people are just ungrateful! Good riddance.
1. Have you changed your mind?
2. Do you miss me?
3. Why did you break up with me?
4. Are you seeing anyone else?
5. Do you see us getting back together ?
6. Can you tell I’ve changed ?
Wow I literally asked all these questions 😓 should have watched Coach Lee before all this happened
@@saladrollisgreat me too.. i asked all of these questions last month. we broke up 4 months ago. i want to start no contact... i think its too late to do that.. huhuhuh...
Betty, yeah it's too late. Pack your bags and move to China and become a monk. Go and cleanse your soul.
Question 4 if the answer is yes. I don’t want them back at all! If I didn’t know and found out later I would feel disgusted and would want the breakup. Its as if they got away with having their cake and eating it too when the relationship meant more to me where I didn’t just jump on a rebound or another relationship right after. I have opportunities. I want to mourn the relationship a few months before anything. Love is sacred and as much as I love them I do love and have respect for myself. I would lose all attraction for them if they took the breakup that far and then tried to come back. I understand you can do whatever you want during a breakup, just don’t come back if you can get under someone else. Please keep it moving. What’s tricky is its rude to ask that right? They might not even have had a rebound and you ruin your shot completely ...so definitely don’t open with that but once they’re warming up, taking things slow...then maybe throw a “hey..were you seeing anyone while we were broken up?” No? Cool. Yes?....Oh okay. Then tell them “I think you were first right about the breakup. “ I’m no ones sloppy seconds, backup, or experiment! Lol don’t say that part thats more of an inner monologue. That’s my personal boundary and I feel very strongly about that. I wouldn’t be able to see them the same way or love them again if that happened.
I don’t understand why we can’t ask number 4. I feel like that’s important to know.
If y’all are chasing your ex’s please don’t do yourself a favor and let them the F go and move on. Save your self the continuous heart ache. If they want you they will reach out and do their best to be back with you but even then don’t.. Move on.. Wish you all the best! Happy healing!
thank you , very inspired me.
Although I kinda agree, coach lee literally has a video extremely disagreeing with the concept of "If You Love Someone, Let Them Go?"
@@davidchang5265we all have different takes in life. Do what you feel is right in your heart and mind. Usually when those two don’t align it’s the wrong decision. In the end respect yourself and put yourself first no one else. Happy healing!
you're generalizing.. it's not always black and white.. plenty of couples get back together and are stronger afterwards.
I think I am finally going to truly let go. I just won't bother anymore, I don't have the strength. It is scary, but my brain and heart deserve to feel calm instead of having this hope. For those who are still fighting to get their ex back, good luck, and same for those deciding to move on.
I am 62...this is GRT stuff...wish I had learned this MUCH younger...
When my ex left me a month ago after nine years of being together that's the reason she used "I need to work on myself" me being a jackass asked her why can't you do that while you're with me which of course she had no answer for. A few days ago her father informed me that she was already dating somebody else. So I guess now I know the real reason she left me. I can't even bring myself to be mad at her. Sometimes it really sucks to love somebody unconditionally.
LLL888, When they say things like that, they usually lose attraction. That happens many times. If you need some help, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit. There are strategies in there for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I'm good, already messed things up way too much by being needy and desperate when she left me. I lost all my dignity to that girl, there's no getting that back. She's with somebody else, even if it is just a rebound I shouldn't try to get her back. It's time to walk away.
wow thats tough fr, wish you the best, how are you today?
@@luftpods4444 I'm doing way better now. Once I took my focus off of her and put all of my energy into myself my whole perception of the situation changed. It went from being a painful experience to a blessing. I'm in the best shape of my life now financially and physically, but still got some work to do mentally though lmao. Started trying to put myself out there and date again but it's not easy after being in a relationship for that long. The game has changed a lot. Such as life though. I will Adapt and overcome as I always do.
Side note: I did end up hearing from my ex about 9 months of no contact. She apologized about the way things ended and wanted the meet up for drinks. I won't lie this rubbed me the wrong way a little bit cuz I kind of figured she's only reaching out because her rebound ended. I simply thanked her for her apology and told her let's let bygones be bygones, there's no point opening any old wounds. She said that sucks because she really wanted to see me but she understood. So the no contact stuff definitely works if you want your ex to reach back out to you but honestly I think it's best to not look back and keep moving forward. It's not worth giving to somebody who is capable of discarding you on a whim or because they think they found somebody slightly better than you in their eyes. It will only diminish yourself worth if you let somebody do you like that.
Give it time , she will be back.
The no contact rule is tough to do. However, I make sure to listen to you talk about it, and it helps me to stay strong and not reach out. Thanks, coach Lee. And thanks for caring about out broken hearts.
I don't want him back. I just want the knowledge
His absence is the clearest proof that he doesn't want to be in your life
Me too
My girlfriend just broke up with me a few days ago and it was rough. I never thought I could feel so destroyed and fragile. The grief recovery phase can take a while, but since finding this channel, listening to his voice and his message has been able to instill confidence. Its gonna take a while for things to feel okay, and who knows maybe I can try again with her and we can be happy again, but either way I know I have this channel to help me feel okay again. Thank you man.
any updates on your situation? not sure if you wanted them back in the end or not but if you did did you ever hear from them or even reach out yourself?
@@ChaoticCobras @cartoonz yes, so after about 2 weeks into no contact she texted me to ask if we could talk. We met up and tried to figure a few things out. It didn't last though as even though it was just two weeks, reuniting with her felt off. We both eventually decided to part ways again and we haven't talked since. It was definitely sad, I still loved her and to this day I still love her. But not I'm the same way. It took about 5 months before I began to completely let go. During that span I decided to detach from the world and go work in yellowstone national park to hike and backpack. There I was able to heal while feeling at peace with the beautiful animals and mountains around me. I eventually met someone else and we've been happy ever since. If I'm honest, I have my last relationship to thank for making this one all the better. I learned from my mistakes and her mistakes, and i think in return I became a better boyfriend.
I have no regrets. I'm glad I let myself feel the pain instead of going numb and running away from it.
@@cartoonz4462 ♤
@@samknabel849 that’s awesome to hear that you’re at least doing better. i hope something positive comes my way, whether it’s her or someone better (if that’s even possible) or just being free and happy again like i used to be. i am in a torturous hell
@@ChaoticCobras here's my best advice. Don't run away from the pain. But don't just sit in misery for the sole purpose of feel bad for yourself. Find something you enjoy and go do it. Right now is a reasonable time to splurge a little bit. treat yourself to something you've been wanting for a while like a new book, or video game. For me it was a new guitar. Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you. It makes you no less a man to just need a shoulder to cry on. I can tell you this for sure. Everything will eventually be okay, it may take a while. For me it was 6 months. For others it may be a year or two.. but just know that through this pain there is a positive, the love you have is real and it can be real for someone else again.
I dont have any plans on getting back with ny ex but your videos helped me a LOT during this tough times. My prayers for those who are hurting rn. We all dont deserve this 🙏
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
@@josiefrench7672 Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@josiefrench7672 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
How’s it going?
@@jarrodoberg2078 these are scam messages, i've seen them a lot of time under other videos
Dude. Our situation is exactly the same...😢
I broke up with my ex and then asked if this is a break or break up bc i didn’t think it was fair that I would wait until he got over how hurt he was and decided if he wanted to work on things... needless to say, he set me free. He said it was a permanent beak up after sending me mixed messages and expecting me to wait for him while he lived his life.
Ladies and gents, move on for yourselves. To grow and prosper. Do not contact them. Reflect on your mistakes and how you can improve in the future. Assess why you behaved the way you did and vise versa. The best thing you can do is become the best version of yourself and let them regret letting you go. Be the best you!
Coach Lee, I’ve watched so many of your videos. Thank you for your guidance, you e truly empowered me and helped me during my healing process.
Leave them alone don’t say anything don’t look at what they up to move on if they want to come back it’s in your terms get the power back and also build personal
Strength in the process! Great vid coach lee! Good bless y’all
Yeahhhh, I'm not getting back together with my ex unless I get answers about why- AND how- he ended things the first time. It sounds a lot like you're telling us to just start with a clean slate whenever they decide to come back, as if they didn't cause massive amounts of pain and take a bulldozer to our lives. He made the mess, he gets to clean it up. If he doesn't want to clean it up, he doesn't get me back.
I'm so happy to be single. I love watching these videos, its a great study of behavior and I learn something every time
You just answered my 70% relationship failures. These questions get sincere answers and positive responses only in movies. Great insight that is so hard to master without proper guidance.
A narc just moves to a new supply that person waiting in the wings.
After 5 years I can feel confident I know her answers with more clarity than she'd ever honestly answer:
Q1 Have you reconsidered: "Yes, but I'm determined to see this through because I'm exceedingly stubborn."
Q2: Have you missed me: "Yes, and I'm driving my friends crazy swinging back and forth between missing you horribly and laughing about rebounds. The mood swings and depression are alienating my rebound boy too. And I have been obsessing over a single hobby that involves him absolutely nonstop without leaving the house in six weeks in order to avoid all distracting, rational thoughts."
Q3: Why did you break up with me: "Too many irreconcilable differences and you failed to live up to my impossible expectations. I wanted you to be more involved in my life, and when you did that I lost respect for you. I don't actually know what I want. I started an affair again and the tingles seemed more exciting and I felt guilty dragging you through the mud yet again. And all my friends are 21 and gave me rash impulsive advice that I followed blindly."
Q4: Are you dating someone: "Yes, again. Just like every time. He's in a foreign country and it's going to take flying there before I lose interest seeing him in person. I attempted to hook up with fifteen desperate casual encounters guys locally but they failed to materialize after I sent nudes. Now even more nudes are circulating broadly endangering my career."
Q5: Do you see us getting back together: "No, I can't stomach the guilt of being so horrible to you. And I am conflicted due to saying that you were conversationally dismissive of most feminist therapists while I simultaneously shut down the option of actually seeing one."
Q6: Can you tell I've changed: "You lost a lot of weight and it makes me uncomfortable that you are half a foot taller than me and now weigh significantly less. I'm going to go be depressed, spend $500 on bathtub lotions and bubblebath and a 50 kg mountain of epson salts and have five baths a day for a month then attempt to hook up with a stranger. You still won't live up to my unrealistic, neurotic expectations though. And however many failed affairs I start, I won't acknowledge that I am contributing to the lack of trust. If you try to approach me with a reasoned, adult discussion on the topic it will make me feel sad and therefor it's abuse."
Give us Part 2: How do we answer if they ask these things haha.
Omgosh...freaking hysterical!! I lost it when I got to the part about her sending out nudes 😄😄😄
You are a very talented writer by the way! Well done 👏
Hey buddy, thanks for the reply. I forgot all about posting this two years ago and it's interesting to see how I looked at that split back then. It's been a journey and over the last two years I've developed a fairly consistent interest in the topic of relationship dynamics, moreso than I'd ever have imagined myself diving into. On Q3, I've had a lot of breakthroughs on what the push and pull between a woman being upset that she's not getting what she wants and yet losing respect when she does is incredibly puzzling. The books "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" both had incredibly eye opening analysis of this dynamic, and the concept of covert contracts was an invaluable one to take on.
Although I think Coach Lee has great advice for managing the short term freak outs immediately after the termination of a long term relationship, particularly in not alienating yourself further and reducing her respect for you further by sending her endless messages after the switch has gone off where she no longer loves you and begins to see her ex as a threat when he does so. Rian Stone does a more thorough job of tackling the work you can put into becoming a man who excels in relationships and life. That's been my path, anyway. And a path which I've found incredibly rewarding. Good luck to you.
@@Flick14
This was deep !
I give up on relationships. They all end.
Coach Lee, I appreciate your words, and how you deliver them. Other self help coaches on relationships talk to damn fast, have no personality or are arrogant. Keep up your good work!
I was literally told. "I need to focus on myself and my own priorities and need time to heal."
My relationship with my ex goes in depth. That’s why I’m still holding on. I can’t blame him all the time, because I feel that he’s broken to a certain extent.
We're all a little broken. That's why we need to have more compassion and understanding with each other.
I'm working on having fewer expectations and more acceptance; not living out my fear from previous relationships; and not worrying too much about the future. I'm trying to live more in the moment now and be more mindful. The breakup really rocked me to my core and really shook me up -- any anxiety I was living with day in and day out, and pain I was carrying from my past, finally came to the forefront, and I'm having to acknowledge it now instead of just trying to handle it just to get through each day. Now I'm examining it and learning ways to get past it, forgive, and cope better.
We're all only human. We make mistakes, we're not perfect. But the best we can do for ourselves is try to learn from every situation and improve ourselves where we can.
I still love and miss my ex everyday, we both made some mistakes, but I know I have healing to do on my own right now and learning to control the only thing I can: Me. Just trying to do the work. 💕
Stop lying to yourself.
Im over my ex girlfriend, l met another girl .....l feel better. 😃
You sure?
Feel better for now. Just temp distraction
@@priyankbhardwaj902 Positive!
@@antilaw9911 She's an Asian chick, she always wanted a white boyfriend, so yeah.....its over.🤷🏾♂️
Hope you happy bro
One of the hardest things in life is not knowing. When you’re the dumpee, that time of kneeling on the floor trying to piece back together every part of you that’s been broken is one of the toughest things to do. I can’t wait for that moment when I’m strong enough to let go. This just tells me I am capable of love.
Naes. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which is excellent. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation. A very POWERFUL Kit.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Absolutely true! They are accountable for their decision. Keep strong with NC. Appreciate your value. When tables are turned, let them ask the questions. Be wise how you handle the answers. ❤
Coach, thank you for the speech on what strength really is. Grieving is excruciatingly painful but necessary.
Love should flow naturally. If you have to work at it too much, you may not be a good match
Coach Lee is so good that for every video I've watched there's an ex running back to me 😂😂😂 no seriously, I feel so much better after binging on your videos for 2 hours, what a relief! To think I found you just as I was about to casually text him after 10 days of no contact can only be described as a miracle and God's providence. 🙏
A few days ago (3.5 weeks since our breakup), we had a 2.5 hour long discussion about what went wrong, why what happened happened etc. We both cried. I presented a second chance and he said no. The next day he said "I don't know what I want" and said he has alot to process. I said I'll give him space. So I think no contact for a few weeks will be good for both of us. Our breakup reasons were very clear and very fixable but I cant fix those things if he doesn't want to. I hope when he figures out what he wants, it's me. But I just want him to be happy. He's hurting so much right now.
Petite Beauty Be strong. He could be going back and forth. I'll pray for you and don't listen to the WhatsApp reply. Could be a scam because I saw it on other comments.
stay in no contact 🤝
No contact for a few weeks. Lmao why do women have it so easy. Its been over a fucking YEAR and not a word from her.
@@NomadUrpagi it's not always easy for women! I've been waiting 8 months for my ex to give us a second chance but he doesn't want to at all or even yet. I work with him too so no contact is not a choice I have
Any updates?
Coach Lee you are the best... I bf broke up with me for the 3rd time a month ago. Usually I'd beg and chase him. I bought the emergency breakup kit I went into no contact. Guess what?... he reached out to me saying he's just checking on me... No contact works. Listen to coach lee
Them contacting you is them admitting they have been thinking about you and most likely missing you. That doesnt mean that they will change the issues that caused the break up. They may want you back and feel they arent in the wrong or you may have been in the wrong but their contact is proof that they are thinking about you and missing you to a certain point
Thank you for this. He messaged me twice last week but went back to his rebound. How to let him go? Keep trying to distract myself I guess. It's been months and he's still always on my mind. I'm still so very very sad. Knowing he's been with another I can't forgive that tho. Thanks tho
@@countcrow Think about all of your bad moments together, seriously; good relations aren’t brittle and if someone’s def. not a fighter (choosing to rebound) and giving up easily they are NOT worth it.. We tend to romanticize the good memories only.. As time goes by the more it feels like a blessing having personal freedom and another person having to deal with a lot of future BS 😅 They will have to call us for advice one day (figuratively speaking)
Update???
You truly get where we are in this grief process. I don’t know if I want my ex back because he chose to break up with me over text while he was traveling for work, and the way he wrote it, I wasn’t sure if it was really a breakup. I asked questions that went unanswered and he did not contact me per our usual multi check ins when we’re away from each other, so of course, I figured it out. I don’t think this is recoverable as far as potential reunion. I’m moving out of our house as I write this. We’ve been engaged for almost 3 years. We are much older (61, 60) than the usual. Blew me away. I had been happier with him than at any other time in my life. I want to handle this with grace and ease and with as much of my dignity as I can salvage, and heal my broken heart as well as I can. Thank you for your videos.
If someone breaks up with you, you walk away and never look back. Asking questions makes it looks like you need some validation from them. Don't even bother.
I really regret breaking up with him
Coach can you make a video on borderline personality disorder after a break up. Might be out of your field of expertise but. Good vids 👍
PLEASE DO!
This is a good idea. From both sides I think.
My experience with BDS is to have firm boundaries and be consistent. If the person can't be helped, you RUNNNNN and never look back. Block/cut that person out of your life.
Your words are my strength during such a trying time. Thank you, Coach Lee! 💪 ♥️
Hello I'm so excited my broken 💔💔 relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we leaving and happily together, I got help from a great man he's real and specific 💯
I do start to think that I am a very weak person. Day 10 and I am so devastated. It is a real fight to keep up the NC. Only these videos keep me at it. But it's very difficult not to break the NC.
Update???
@@giovannimorgan8728 She contacted me again. We got back together. She wanted me to move in and so it happened. We married after that and planned a child. Was it worth it? Nope. Breakup was November 2022. Turned out my wife is borderline. I did everything for her but yet she is in a psychotic episode and see's me as the devil in person. She just gave birth to our daughter recently... told me 5 days after birth because she needed something else, only allowed me to see my daughter for 10 minutes in her hallway... apart from that I am blocked like a criminal, not getting information about my daughter... but I have a lawyer. That is how the future will look like, my lawyer will have a ton of work. Once in a while, my wife unblocked me, to tell me how good of a person I've been, to then eventually push me away again. The typical borderline "I hate you, don't leave me" behaviour. In short... yes, NC worked, as she is borderline, it trigger hear abandonment fears and she started chasing me. And after that it was kinda beautiful, she bombed me with love... but that was just the calm before the storm. Her mask has fallen, she started devaluing me after that. NC can work... but it doesn't mean that the outcome will be good. Could have dodged a bullet. I didn't. My daughter makes me happy anyway and I will fight for her.
@@VideosVonDennis I’m sorry that happened bro. Maybe sometimes us men should just take the loss and move on. It’s hard cause we really love the women we’re with.
@@giovannimorgan8728 That's something I asked myself month over month. When things just didn't work before, why didn't I just move on? It's what you said, because we truly love, we want to land somewhere and be happy. I can not kick myself for the desire to love and be loved. Maybe I should have seen the red flags, sure... but now things happened. In my case, what's bad is that she's really "high conflict" borderline.. even now months after breakup, she attempts to lure me back in and can be super charming, to turn into hater just hours or days later and cause new damage (I am not kidding when I say DAMAGE). She truly loves and hates in alternation. But currently she has a fullblown psychosis and believes things I never said or did. I have communication channels open as I am still interested to get information about our baby... NC won't work anymore... but I am Low Contact now... when she unblocked me, I will only contact her or reply when it's about the baby. I don't do LC to get her back...this time it's a different reason. I just want to minimize conflicts and be less exposed to her... for my sanity.
DON’T ASK ... don’t tell 😊
Tina Kelly, hope you are with a good man!
I'm curious on what to say when the one who walked away you, comes back and asks you if you miss them or are you seeing someone.
You always have a way to get me back on track and back in the right frame of mind. Thank you Coach Lee.
my ex is back after 5 months m so glad❤️❤️❤️❤️ you gave me the motivation to stay away now m so happy❤️❤️❤️ I love your channel❤️❤️
Years ago I had a guy text me every few weeks asking if I’d change my mind and I remember how annoying and infuriating it was. It’s like dude I will TELL YOU if and when I do. It’s almost insulting, like they’re trying to force their will on you.
They should teach this shit at school
This is the type of stuff you learn with time, lots of experience, and self-reflection.
@@ptrsrfns that’s the one thing we don’t have much of in life. Time. I learned this too late after the longest and most significant relationship of my life. I’d do anything to get back to what I had.
@@albertodeulofeu5277 I totally get you. It's never too late to learn and improve one's self.
@@ptrsrfns there aren’t endless opportunities for love. There aren’t endless compatible partners
@@albertodeulofeu5277 why do you say that? There are 8 billion people in the world...
If you’re reading this in 2024. Just go no contact. No matter how good staying in contact had been, You’ll feel so much better. When you’re talking to or seeing this person frequently, you will feel the strongest urges to ask these type of questions
Thank you Coach Lee..in the process of getting divorced after 20 years (wife initiated it) and I wish I saw your videos at the START of my divorce in late February. Since then (and before your advice) I was guilty of all of your things of what NOT to do, lol. I hope its not too late
Ray Ray, I highly doubt that you get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely. Its a POWERFUL Kit, and it has strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Damn that was eye opening… the “ now am I good enough……”..
So, basically, whatever question you eager to ask, you better not to...
She reached out today and I kept it pretty reserved. She asked about me and how I’m doing... texts back and forth for a bit snd then the conversation fell off..
Time to go back to no contact til the next episode
Mine did the same and I haven't heard from her for over a month now.. let's see what happens
how long did you do no contact before she reached out??
@@camia7873 it was lol 3 weeks after break up
@@brentloy131 how is it going on now ? Is she back ?
No, she hasn’t came back. But I’m slowly realizing my worth and what I have to offer. It’s funny how things go somewhere
My question to her is,
“Why do you send me memories?”
Why send me memories, when she’s seeing someone else. Why bother me when I gave her space. I don’t bother her. I give her space, I don’t say nothing mean about her. She tells me she’s knows I still care about her. She doesn’t think. She knows. After 8 months.
mine reached out too after dump me month later i stood up for myself didnt go well back to no contact day 4 day 41 since seen her
One of them questions is "Do you still have your side bits in tow?" And "What number was I?"
Thank you so much coach Lee! Your videos are so helpful. I mostly watch them just for getting all that knowledge you possess. Unfortunately, in my case, we won’t go back together. We were together for 10 years, and we broke up about a year now. But I know there is still hope for other people. May God bless and help you all.
My ex wished me a happy birthday after seven months of radio silence and then disappeared... frustrating
You were being “fished”, just to make sure you are still waiting for them to want you back, and that they can have you back at the snap of their fingers.
As hard as it is, walk away from them, do not look back, and mean it.
Work on yourself, to make you the best you possible. That will make you much more attractive, will make it much more likely your ex will reach out to you, and much more likely you can have them back and build a new relationship that can and will last-IF YOU want to. It will also make you much more attractive to new and higher quality, more compatible potential partners.
Let yourself heal, and truly, honestly move on. Connect with other people, date, open yourself to new romance, and allow yourself to be happy. All of this will make your ex realize that they may have really lost you, that maybe they can’t have you back by snapping their fingers, and will make them fear loss. That will also make you more attractive to them, and more likely to reach out to you again. It will also put you in the wonderful position of having options, and being the one who gets to make the choice-not your ex.
Most exes do reach out eventually. I have seen statistics as high as 90%. Most do not result in reconciliation, however, because in most cases the person dumped hasn’t done anything to improve themselves. Taking the actions taught by Coach Lee, that I have summarized here, optimizes your chances of successful re-attraction and reconciliation.
You have absolutely nothing to lose, and everything to gain. If you impose total no contact, walk away and not look back and really mean it, work upon improving yourself and becoming the best you possible, and really move on, then whether your ex returns or not, you win and you will be happy.
@@johntrench I agree with everything you said ! I was just wondering if not wishing back the ex a happy birthday in due time is rude and would be the equivalent of not answering their message (a thing coach Lee always advises not to do)?
@@SIMSIMSAMANTHA watch coach Lee video on birthdays and special occasions .... don’t wish her anything believe me it gets noticed
@@SIMSIMSAMANTHA it isn't rude. It is essential. Do not contact an ex until they reach out to you first, in a way that is substantive, not vague or trivial.
After almost 4 months of NC mine did the same on my fb wall in a cheery way and using my name but just as generic as a birthday wish he gives strangers, I simply replied with a cold "thanks" and only liked it, not a heart react and friendly thank you like I did with most other people. I did wish him a Happy Birthday on his but not on his wall, underneath a message he left almost a year ago when he was being really mean to me. Simply "Happy birthday" and he just said "Thanks!" and that was it.
I'm very impressed by what ur saying. I was recently dumped and to be fair my ex is going through a difficult time and I respect that...But I did I beged for him to reconsider. Then I realized I was going down the crazy rabbit hole and acting like a child. Now I choose to respect his descion and move on with dignity, no matter how much I hurt . Thank you I find these videos when I needed to.
Please do another video about rebound relationships and monkey branching! Love your videos!
Same req. Coach, cause my ex is now in a new rel. :(
They showed they do not care enough to stay, show you do not care enough care.
I've asked some of these questions. I regret them and lesson learned
Number 3 hits me hard... 😂
But it's okay. As Coach Lee and Ken always say, work on ourself first.
My ex contacted me yesterday. We just txt, hopefully she wants to work it out. But coach lee one of the best if you want your ex back. Thank you
Does it look like or feel like she wants to work it out?
How were you feeling at the momemt when your ex reached out?
Did you Heal and then your ex reached out?
Make a date dont chitchat
In my experience, too much texting is a relationship killer. It should be used only to set up dates. When you spend time with someone is when the magic happens.
Remember what he said let her start the conversations
Every relationship is so different, coach! I’m not sure where I stand, even to your every amazing videos. It’s a bit different for me.
I did all the wrong things, begged, said mean things, said I wouldn't make payments anymore. I did apologize to her and say that I didn't mean any of it then I went into no contact (without announcing it of course) The fact that I'm making payments still is proof that I really was sorry. After I did everything wrong I still ended up getting your emergency break up kit, even if I messed up my chances I got it for a future break up and man it's packed with super helpful info it's like you're there with the viewer in person it's amazing!
The only question should ask ‘How you doin’
I gave her a letter yesterday before your video and said I've changed etc I can tell you all day and you won't believe me but I can show you. I now am reflecting upon your video and uhhh feel underpowered now lol
When he came back after a 4 month block, he said he needed me in his life again. I asked if he missed me and he said yes. I told him to promise to never block again and he promised he wouldn't. BUT!!! Here I am again, 4 months after another block and this time there was no argument at all. Before the block he said life got too serious, that his father was dying. I dont understand why that has to come between us.
Well after being in NC for 3 days I got the “cat statement”
“I might go see Bryan today”
Bryan is our cat. You’re good man. Didn’t ignore was cool calm collected and slightly short and back to NC.
Coach Lee, thank you for loving my comment on the no contact rule. Pushing 3 wks now. I had already done 3 wks and 3 days. I’m at 3 wks and a day this time. Am going to strive for the 45 days or longer. Thank you!
Was married for 16 years we have 5 children, been separated since July she served me divorce papers on Valentine’s Day. She said she isn’t going to turn in the papers to the court yet she wants to seek counseling to see if she can look at me any differently and if she can get over how bad I hurt her. She had an affair with my sons teacher back in July, I caught her so she kicked me out and since then she’s blamed the break up on me. What can I do?
maybe best just not asking any questions.
Honestly reading the comments it's not black and white. I broke up because we kept getting back together too soon and he did become a dictator in the end he disrespected me so badly that I couldn't ignore it and broke up. I may wait forever waiting for an apology from him because in the past I broke NC too soon, we train each other consciously or subconciously we look for equals in our relationships and someone to admire. Work on yourselves, be the best you can be for YOU, your family, friends (and kids if you have them).x
Excellent advice. Thank you very much. Another question that should not be asked, " have you slept with anybody. Close quote
Yeah..I asked why he broke up with me, he told me the reason would hurt me too much.....Yeah...DONT ASK...because that answer hurt me more than no answer.
I started watching your videos out of desperation and to calm my anxiety at first but as time is passing NC is really helping me to find my own worth and I started questioning if I even want him back. I still love him like I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else and miss him a lot but I’ve come to realize how much was really not right. Currently in a fight between heart and logic I guess. He’s a commitment phobic and basically found the best excuse why we won’t work out in the long term. Wanted to stay friends tho which I more or less denied. Not sure how high my chances are but NC is really the only thing left I can do. For myself to heal and move on in the first place. Trying not to make it about whether or not he comes back but of course that’s still on the back of my mind.
(Hope that was proper English lol)
I think people who fucked up for which ever reason and your ex tolerated the behavior till they saw there was no change, and broke up with you. NO CONTACT should be definitive for you to fix yourself.
So in that case give yourself time and IF your ready for whatever the outcome break no contact.
Getting emergency break up kit . I’m loving your videos and learning so much
What do you do.. if you did break the "no contact" rule? What questions do you ask?
The panic is real when it seems like they "easily moved on", when all you want to do is work things out, to talk and communicate. 😔
How are u keeping 👍
I’ve watched a lot of getting my ex back videos, yours thoroughly breaks it down at levels critical to understand. 🧐 Excellent content, maybe I’ll have the opportunity to apply these principles in the future. We’re miles apart in a few ways. Thank you, Coach Lee
So it pretty much sums up to:
Don't ask questions that are really just you fishing for a specific answer.
Thank you, Coach Lee~
You need to keep posting THIS video ... this is great information!!!! It took me years to find this approach 🖤🖤🖤
In my situation things were going very well, literally nothing that should cause a relationship to end. Just my lady double guessing the entire love thing.. has some things she needs to figure out. Basically not getting what I deserve but I do love her and care too much just too curl over and not give her time and space to do what she needs to do to be ready. I’m doing the no contact but it’s is o tough because she stays in contact with my family, and her family contacts me and it’s all just a lot for me. Still working, working out, and keeping myself focused as much as one can while dealing with heartache/missing someone. If this no contact works I’m going to donate money to you Coach Lee. I’ll keep you updated. I truly love this woman.
Yeah it really sucks sometimes...I felt our relationship was going really well and the next thing I remember its over out of nowhere and I keep on replaying everything over in my mind its so tough when you really love someone. I'm in no contact almost 3 months I try to keep myself busy with extra shifts at work and have a nice workout routine going. I think about her all the time I hope coach lee is right but I feel she will never reach out to me😔
The only thing I can do is make myself a better person one day at a time!
@Joana Landra nothing much really, she did message me once saying she needs time to think about everything I’ve said, with how I’m ready to be with somebody who can be my partner and get through everything together and grow. She was glad to hear it but I can tell she isn’t ready for that yet, she’s a single mom to a 1 year old and needs to get some stuff straightened out. Great news though is I know that I need to put all of my time and energy into making myself stronger physically mentally and spiritually. I know what we had, was and could be so amazing and effortless but I can’t force it right now.
@Joana Landra Thank you, time will make sense of it all. At least I’m hoping! Your English is great👍🏻
@@nateb1194 and what happened 1yr later?
@@TRYCLOPS1 still has not contacted me once. It’s okay I’ve completely lost all feelings for her and hope she is doing well.. I’ve found a new person, we’re friends but who knows what the future holds?
The fact that somebody wouldn't be able to answer the question of why or what caused a person to break up shows a very much lack of self-awareness. More often than not the dumper never just breaks up with somebody and chances are there were arguments before said break up. And honestly if you can't even go back and reflect on everything that happened your choices your actions and their choices and their actions knowing where you could have done better knowing where you could have handled things better along with what you did right in the situation. If you can't ask yourself and probe with in yourself these deep self truths you're not going to be able to actually be able to get an answer that you're ever going to be able to be satisfied with so in my opinion the question of " why do we break up in the first place " is an answer that shows they did not do the work after the breakup. Plain and simple
Edit, also if a girl is dating another guy afterwards then that is absolutely a reason to never get back together because here's the logic behind my decision on that is there was a time in your ex's life before you existed and there is a time when you existed on their conscious level and if they are able to replace you than they are able to replace you. The only time a ax should ever have to replace you is if you are a widow or if you know s*** are literally breaking up you never taken ex back who is dating another person because that shows how little they actually valued you and how easily you will be replaced.
Hello I'm so excited my broken 💔💔 relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we leaving and happily together, I got help from a great man he's real and specific 💯
My ex just ran to another relationship 2 months of no contact after ten years he told me he was in love with someone else he is happier and he wants to make effort with her and wants a future with her because she is everyhing he ever wanted. He said that to my face .my God even if true he loved hurting me....yep different sunset he EXCATLY I go live my life he and her live theirs. They have been together 4 months now and I still can not breathe .
I’m done with my ex girlfriend over 5 months of no contact . Thanks to God she never reached out though . I have already moved on . 9ja 🇳🇬 dey here so
"9ja dey here" Haha.
My ex just reached out after a month of no contact.
Coach Lee definitely helped me stay strong throughout the process.
Great content, as always. So true about the "need to work on myself" thing.
I broke 28 days of no contact. And she said "i have a bf don't think about" can i apply no contact again.??? .. help me guys
He has made it clear over and over he doesn’t want me. I don’t ask these questions because there’s no room for it. He took the step to leave me and doesn’t want to look back at all. It’s as if he hates me, I know he doesn’t. He definitely doesn’t love me anymore he loves our memories our life but he does t want me anymore I feel it strongly. There’s no clear reason. He just decided and he’s told me once he decides something he doesn’t change his mind
I pray the universe grant your heart desires, Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of a great spiritualist Who brought my ex after many months of separation,,,,
This is very helpful, but… what DO WE SAY?
Its MYSTERY or HISTORY at this point. I don't have a damn choice.
I assumed im on closure at the 90 day mark which is around right now. It was a genius idea that Coach Lee smuggled over here: "assume you are on closure. The break up is the closure".
What if suddenly they start showing interest in you and your life again and you basically ask them "why do you care?"
😂😂😂
Well, I didn't ask any of this questions to my ex because we haven't talked in like almost 2 months when I started no contact. However, when he broke up with me, I asked him if he was able to see a future with me, and he said yes, because I was "the best girlfriend he ever had"... But now watching this video, I believe that he just said that for compromise, not because he felt the same way as myself in that precise moment... or that is what he's trying to show. And even if that's true or not, it's hard to realize but it helps me a lot to understand his behavior towards me from that day until now. That answer and also his silence is telling me so much more, guess he didn't love me after all haha 😅🤷🏻♀️
Thank you, Coach Lee, your videos always help me a lot to understand and that makes me feel better in a certain way. Btw, I really like when you say "... and mindfulness", sounds really fancy haha 🤭
Yes silence... then dumps me then dumped her she beg me back only to dump me tell me move on then calls month later or so and goes bad cuz stood up for myself she said fine ill never reach out again f sakes!! Tire of come here go away long dist relationship shady red flags on off whole 13 month relationship just wanna be over her stop crying stop obsessing stop hurting/
My ex told me im not ready for a relationship. Im not over my ex. Im not ready for commitment.. 6 months in. Which is bs lol. I been in no contact 7 months. Im over her. Its her loss. It gets easier ppl
So if rebound relationships/sex while broken up is a dealbreaker, when do you ask? After they reach out and you meet?
Thank you Coach Lee for your advices, it is my faults that I didn’t watch all of your advices videos at the start. I have asked many of those question and now all my ex say to me is “give me some time”. He said that he is trying to fall in love with me again but I worry that he might change his mind before he falls in love with me and sees someone else.
I asked a couple of these questions. Definitely made things worse. We haven’t spoken since late December and we broke up in late October. Beginning to feel this is hopeless.
Update???
@@giovannimorgan8728 I moved on with my life. I have been with someone else now for almost two years. We are moving in together and are happy. I am so grateful I never got back with my ex. He was not the person for me.
Really wanted to message I miss you, can’t we make this work, even typed it out but then deleted it
How to handle/manage no contact if you work with an ex and have to see them daily??
I would also like to know how to handle this situation! I know there is limited contact but I work closely with him so I have to do a lot of contact. I miss him so much even though I see him every day
You're very good at what you do. Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge to help people like myself have a different perspective of myself and my ex.
When your method works out for me after a 4yr battle with my fiance comes to pass... you'll be the first to do hear about it!
Makes sense! Thank you so much coach lee, you are the best!❤❤❤
I did asked him to enumerate for me the reasons why he broke up with me 😂 and I felt better after. Atleast I understood and everything is clear with me. I now manage to accept things easier every day. Only God knows what's next in my life 🙏
@@patrickmartins1755 thank you