Coach Lee is spot on! Everything you coached us on happened in my situation. My ex and I are back in communication again but this time in a healthy slow roll pace. But I'm good with where we are now. Thank you for your wonderful advice. It definitely works!
Hi, I’m just scrolling for some info and comfort in all this but came across your comment. If my ex was trying to have a casual chat with me whilst actively being with someone else. Sorry just my two cent but I would never engage in this, you’re just accepting friend zone while someone else is getting with her. Coach Lee might chime in here, but personally I’d just tell her to shout me if things don’t work out. Don’t be her gay bestie, trust me she’ll never value you
@@danielceron584 yeh brother, I agree with your cake comment. Just my view (and I’ve been round these blocks a few times now) but I think she’s likely keeping you about feeding you the odd crumb in case this new venture doesn’t work out. This is just me but I’d find your situation torture and would rather just walk away, than be a “friend/backup” your call obviously, but I’m certain you’ll feel better about yourself and actually achieve higher value in her eyes if you just said look if ever you’re single and available again than maybe we can chat if not best of luck hope it works out. Hope things clear up for you 👊
The fact that she moved on this quickly suggests that she has traumas that will not encourage a healthy relationship with you even if she came back. It will take her time to learn the lesson.
@@greggarcia6974 You have the strength my friend. You deserve the best. I'm at 6 months of no contact. I have improved my mental well being by using these youtube videos, and meditating. Also my Shaolin Monk workout book. I'm working out three times a day at home.Getting ripped. I also have been staying active with my dog, and making lists of things I like about myself and what others like about me. I have finally fell in love with myself at age 47. Now I know what type of person I need, and I'm not wasting time on people who can't communicate properly or run from big emotions, or discard me like trash.
Build yourself into the kind of person you want to find. Those will be the type you attract. I've been meditating, working out and getting ripped. Learning about all this stuff on youtube. Understanding the attachment types. Eventually, you just realize that they are not right for you. Find the person of your dreams!
I just found out my ex is with a 2nd guy since our breakup about 3 months ago. Been holding onto hope she would come back but today I decided I didn’t want to be with someone who could just give herself away and jump around so quickly. And honestly I’ve felt a bit better since the initial realization that it’s probably just over. These videos have been soothing in the meantime and make me realize how bad most relationship advice is.
My friend you have to work on your self/ self improve for the betterment of yourself despite the outcome with your ex!! You can’t worried about if she moved on or not!! You have to focus on your self and your healing journey!
I actually recently came to the same discovery brother. Its important to know that most of the time people have their next option set up before they leave the relationship. So keep remembering that when urges of wanting to get back together with her creep up. What has helped me is hitting the gym as much as possible and getting in physically better shape. You'd be surprised to realize that you no longer really want them anymore when you get in better shape at the gym because you start to appreciate yourself more
Bro thank God you didn’t chase her, no contact is a win win situation. If the new guy was still there during your breakup. No matter how much you tried at the end you would have gotten more pain. And if the new guy is rebound, soon she will realize her mistake. Stay strong! You are a giga chad!
My ex and I got back together in October, but I still come back and listen to coach Lee bcs his advice is so valuable in every way. My relationship is so much more stable and healthy now; bcs of NC we both learned what it’s like to be apart and we hated it, so we’re more cautious now in how we engage when we disagree. My ex literally told me when he came back, “I learned your place in my life.” There’s one thing Coach Lee said in one of his other videos that I think about at least once every day: “time is part of the recipe.” You can’t rush these things, let them miss you, let them learn that they hate your absence. Stay strong!
I love her so much that I can't describe it, I didn't know what a fearful avoidant was, a lot of stupidity and banalities ruined my beautiful relationship. I never did anything wrong. 4 beautiful years passed as if they had never happened. 4 and a half months have passed since the breakup, I am totally devastated. :(
Success story!!!! My ex, well my boyfriend again now, asked me to give it one more chance tonight. It took about 6 months. Thank you so much Coach Lee!!!
@@cl5513I chased for maybe the first few days. He had me blocked so there wasn't really anything I could do anyway. I even tried emailing (don't do that one). 😂 Then I started watching Coach Lee and immediately went into no contact. It took about 4 months of radio silence from me for him to contact me first. From there 2 or so months of reconnecting. He went from "never" to "maybe" to "let's take it slow" to asking me back out.
Key is to let go of them asap guys, the need to feel your loss energetically, not just in the physical 3d reality. Let them feel your strenght. Meditate, work on your self concept. And they will come back quicker, and then you hold all the cards. Youve become a better person and they will know it
I feel with a month you change your mind that you even want then back. You start to see the relationship for what it really was not the illusion that you had wished it it be
I was the one who broke things off because I felt unwanted. 2 years in, I was always an after thought. He would go 2 weeks or more with no contact. Would never plan dates. Would whine they were alone for the holidays but yet not once tried to spend time with me. Then when called them out on it, they were like well I was busy with work and was sick.... and I'm just like well which was it? Because how lonely could you be if you were that busy being around people at work while sick, you should have been 1. Around coworkers, and then because sick just went to bed.
Trust me when I say this. I was watching these videos like crazy last year. Throughout the year, I gave my life to Christ and he showed me why it was never going to work out. People are always looking to fill their hearts with something. Relationships, drugs, alcohol or whatever. You see a lot of people jumping from relationship to relationship because they are looking for something but they won’t find it. We can only really truly be satisfied with Christ. The tears I’ve cried but the peace I have in my heart and mind… wow!!! Release from the old and welcome in the new! You guys got this, don’t give up hope! I almost did but i found something even sweeter!
@@victoriagrimm3066 May God bless you and give you the desires of your heart. Remember to surrender to his Will because he has a great plan for you and He loves you so much. Stay close to him because He will be with you always.
Thank you for these words of encouragement. You are exactly right. Knowing Jesus is what we need to fill the emptiness in our hearts. After 6 months of no contact I am really understanding this. God wants to fill me with His love. He will never reject me or stop loving me. ❤️ He has a plan for my life, and it's all about Him. We have to surrender to Him daily , trust Him and feel His peace. Coach Lee has helped me to stay away, and brought me closer to my Lord. The rest is up to Him. God bless all of you who are hurting.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together.
My relationship finished after 6 years together, just like that he wanted another woman, that was that was 2 years and 6 months ago, he is still with her, so it taken lot of strength for me to get past that relationship, it has taken me 2 years to fully recover so I have been pain free about 6 months, and ready to move on again….
After 5 months broken up we met for a fun weekend in Toronto and the experience was fantastic. We still are not together but things are a work in progress. We both agreed to let things grow and see what happens. I still love her and I know she loves me. If things don't work out I'll always know that I was given excellent advice by coach Lee and did everything I could do on my part and it just wasn't meant to be. Thank you Coach Lee from the bottom of my heart!
Feeling just a bit better after twenty days of NC. The most sad days of my 50 years of existence, hurts like a SOB ... So tire of been sad and no sleeping ...But I'll come out winning whatever the outcome ..Thanks man you help,,,, it has been immense.
I was married 14 years. My husband didn't call me except to come get my things. He lived over a year with another woman in our house. We divorced in July. He has broken up with the woman he lived with in our house. He is now married to another after only knowing this woman for less than three months. I still cry.
I feel you. But, is he ok? Do not cry over someone who could do this to you. Maybe you love him, or you love just an idea what you two could have been. I'm still standing for my marriage, but chances are smaller each day from my side. Just because he is showing me that he is too far from my idea of him. Relax. You will be ok. ❤
My ex ghosted me and I found out she immediately moved in with an old man! These people who move so fast are addicted to the highs of the beginnings of things. They can’t handle once the relationships get real. We were together for 5 years.
I was married 30 years my x married a younger woman recently after cheating with her on me. I'm ok now because I realized we never really had a great relationship it just takes time. You will be ok. I'm sorry this happed to you I know how you feel.
@@Green89_Yep this is exactly what it is. After they idealize you for awhile, and then things come down to earth they can’t handle it and want that excitement of a new thing. Then they throw away all the intimacy and everything invested for a cheap thrill. Then it inevitably happens again and again. They are broken and cannot be happy in a long term relationship.
The man is crap. Don`t cry. Soon you don`t want him back. Btw, I can say one thing. When you get into the good relationship yourself and you are happy, he will crawl back! It almost always happens.
Coach Lee, after so long and so much pain, moving on feels like slowly letting out your held breath. The relief still hurts, but your videos are very reassuring. You're like a friend.
almost at 2 months of no contact. while i hope he will feel the loss and will return as we were together for 5 yrs... i can feel myself everyday starting to feel better and like myself again. these videos are literally getting me through all my weak moments when i just want to cave and text him
@@Ghostrider32064 no he has not reached out. come april itll be 6 months of no contact. but if you are looking for hope i am feeling better and stronger. and truly it is thanks to coach lee's advice of no contact. obviously it still hurts at times but it is not as bad!
@speechiecrossing I also completed two months of no contact yesterday, in these two months her birthday passed and a couple of festivals on which we used to wish each other , but I didn't reach out to her on neither her birthday nor any festivals. I love her so much but I can't compromise on my self respect anymore. The fact that she has still not reached out means all she can offer me is her friendship and nothing more which is exactly what she said when we broke up. And I can't be her friend it just hurts too much. I want all of her or nothing , that's it.
@@Ghostrider32064 im so sorry to hear that! I feel your pain! my ex had a birthday recently as well and i also did not reach out. i think the first 3 months probably hurt the most but as you keep going with NC it does get better. obviously i still have occassional days where i feel sad or miss him but do not experience that huge urge to reach out. where a few months ago i had to fight everything in me to not text or call him to beg. obviously everyones timeline of moving on is different but i think not being in contact with the person does help you find your own strength because begging them isnt going to change their mind or the situation. it 100% hurts to be forced to walk away from someone you love. but i think i am slowly finding/making peace with the situation.
@speechiecrossing Yes , I'm at that point where I don't feel the urge to reach out but I can't help but wonder that she didn't even reached out to me , this was both of ours first serious relationship which lasted this long 5 years. And she just threw it
For someone to look for your replacement while they still say they love you is such a cold thing to do. Stay strong everyone listen to Coach Lee and get yourself back for you! What he said @8:05 to 8:41 is Gold💯
This man has been my mental support through the last week. I really hope I get her back. Watching these videos and listening while taking a walk has been so great to keep my mind straight. Thanks coach!
I need to thank this guy. A few years ago I went through a rough break up. I would turn to these videos to help get me through it. There were many hard nights. I kept watching and watching. I followed what he said, and sure enough my ex contacted me asking if I wanted to get together to talk about things and asked if I would consider dating her again (it took about 6 months for those wondering, she started reaching out at about 3). We had one or two conversations when she tried to come back and I saw red flags, dipped and hit the block button. I absolutely, positively do not regret that decision one bit today. At the end of the story, I left that ex in the dust- where they belong. I haven't talked to them since and don't plan on it ever again. I'm back to good. All the pain is gone. I really appreciate the comfort that these videos provided during that time of immense hurt.
I keep watching your videos everyday to help me through no contact.. it’s been 5 days now and I will push through because I know my worth and he’s guna be shocked when he thinks he’s lost me forever.. this time I’m strong 💪 and I don’t put up with half ass relationships.. I treat him with love he treat me with disrespect. I win in the end
I think I'm finally open to other relationships. I'm keeping the door open for my ex-whom I haven't seen in person in almost two months and haven't contacted in almost four weeks after declining his request for friendship-but I believe I'm ready to get to know new people. Thank you, Coach Lee, for providing us with this quality content for free. This channel has helped me rediscover my sense of self-worth and self-respect. I don't know where I would be without your guidance :)
Here’s a tip, if they left you they will leave you again after they get bored with you so never take them back just find someone else, there’s plenty of fish in the ocean
Coach Lee videos are more than getting your ex back! They help your social calibration beyond love, there is always power in walking away, there is a point in life where you have to withdraw and re-discover yourself, and also the importance of being alone (enjoying to be with one self out of choice),this can be the most important phase that many misses during our living!
Good to know that I did the right thing. I was dumped 5 weeks ago over a text. She wrote a 1000-word text messages explaining her decision. Instead of begging, I just texted her (1 hour after her text) that I respect her decision, and thank her for the great time together. She thanked me for my understanding. I then stopped replying and went no contact.
Thank you so much Coach Lee!!! YOU helped me keep my SANITY! Today he reached out after over a month. He tried to test me and told me that it is really nice to be single. I told him I hope that he is well but that I' m busy. I stayed pollite and didn't jump on anything he threw on me. By now, I am not even sure, I want him back, but thanks for telling me how to react!
This video is pinnacle ! 59 year old lad here from uk. Been there. Got the t-shirt and then some. Coach has done his homework , so you guys don’t have to!! Listen to him and coach Ken also.!! Thanks fellas ! Best to you both. 🖖x
@RealCoachlee coach where do I find video about marriage couple my husband left me after 23 years, we have 3 kids together a house a dog,we are being separated since may month..I've been humiliating myself for months nothing it got worse after I founded your video I got the strength to not go after anymore...please help
I’m going to keel coming back for these as a reminder! Deep breathing, grounding, crying when I need to. Feeling my feelings and knowing it’s best to do that rather than stuff it down. 😢
So, he went NC on me-I broke it off and we were cordial. It took 90ish days he reached out. I decided not to. I found I was happier and healthier without him in my life 😊. Sometimes this heals the dumper. I feel he was trying to manipulate me to let him back in like he did in the past. I want the best for him.
I've been in NC for 50 days now... Breakup happened October... He went into a rebound within 2 weeks... I stopped checking their social media, and am just hoping for the best... But considering he seems so happy right now... I don't think he's coming back. Thank you though Coach Lee for giving us all comfort through these videos. ❤
Just keep bettering yourself and moving forward. If it's meant to be he will come back. The rebound won't last, that other woman isn't you! Be encouraged.
i feel you! he broke it off with me in october too. i dont know if there is a rebound but i cant imagine the heartbreak you must feel. just know that rebound wont last very long and continue to work on youself.
It’s been 8 weeks since the breakup, almost a month of no contact. I did not reach out on Thanksgiving or his birthday and don’t plan to reach out over Christmas either. I want him to contact me but I’m also trying to accept that he meant what he said when he said he didn’t love me anymore. I’m just trying to work on myself at this time.
Coach Lee I can't imagine the mess I would be without your videos and the Break Up Kit. THANK YOU. I listen to your videos and repeat the Kit every single day to get me through this broken heart. Your calm voice and the straight forward clear explanations are the perfect balance of hope and reality and a tad of firmness to keep me strong during no contact. I am putting all my hopes on following your instructions as much as I can to get my wonderful man back.
Go no contact because you need to stay away from what harmed you. Don't belive their lies if they come back , they will hurt you more . People like that are not able to love . Do yourself a favor , move on.
I'm assuming most of your videos including this one applies to married couples as well (I know you modify no contact if you have kids or a home together). The principles are the same, and you're one of the few people that can connect with both types of ex's (gf or spouse). Thanks coach for your continued guidance and wisdom. "They don't get the privileges of being yours anymore". Heavy hitting statement but 1000% true.
Grim, marriage situations have some similarities but differences as well. For a marriage in crisis where one wants out, I strongly recommend you get my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
We broke up about 3 months ago now and we had 2 month long situationships. I 100% believe her friends have influenced a lot of her decisions, and I know there is something else going on in her life that I don't know about. Shes fallen back into bad habbits and her parents are completely on my side. I have hope she will realize what we had and ive been strong in no contact for 19 days. She contacted my friends about a "rumor" that was fake and asked them to tell me, literally a day after she had unblocked me. Then she got mad that I was wearing a shirt she gave my friend that I was wearing. But I'm going to continue no contact until either I dont care about her or she stops playing her stupid games.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
This totally worked for me. I walked away, two days no contact from spending time together for 6 months, daily calls and texts, cute reels etc to no talking at all, on the second day of no contact he reached out confessing I was such a big part of his life and he needed me back because he missed me immensely ❤
Mine calls multiple times a day, asks to see me regularly, and frankly blows up my phone when I don’t pick up. Now THEY are the one analyzing MY actions while I’m over here just moving on. It’s been less than 2 months. Talking to some very nice people in the meantime. I’m not entirely shut off from the ex yet, but if they want to get back together, they will have to say it. I can’t be the one to fix everything. I’m leaving myself open to a couple of very nice suitors and my feelings for ex are fading as I continue to work on myself.
Coach Lee is best. Got text from ex in 28 days. Zero contact from day 1 of breakup. No contact us best thing. Actually I saw that my ex texted after 1 month and texted her that I saw it late so I was not able to reply but still she replied and we are back today.
Thank you for this video coach. You’re doing gods work. At this point I think I’m ready to start letting go, and that she needs to put in effort if she wants us together again. I’ve grown and continue to grow, I’m not who I was. I hope she comes back but of course following your advice will prove beneficial
Thank you Coach Lee! They have to understand their consequences of their action. I am on NC. Don't care anything about him now. He Dumped me and so Karma has to catch up with him.
It's been a year and he didn't come back. He didn't say a word for a year. Im completely disappointed. This means he never loved me ... even when we were in a relationship for two years.. I can't believe it..
Quite the same for me. She broke up out of nowhere for no reason. It's ten months now. As we live in a small town I often see her in traffic. But I'm blocked for ten months now. So why should I react to her ? It's painful. Even if I try my best to ignore her - it's painful. I still love her more every day. And I miss her.
Same, in this situtation that is probably the hardest thing to realize or accept that a person you loved alot did not actually have the same feelings....
I’m 40 and been dating a woman (33) for 7 months.. no label but we had sex twice… she soft-ghosted me and I panicked and became too needy and anxious. She said she’s fed up and left me and she also blocked me… been in no contact for 10 days now… I deleted our photos together, hid the things she gave me, deleted her number so there’s really no way for me to contact her unless she reaches out which I doubt coz she’s too proud to do that and the way she said she’s fed up seemed like she’s really gone for good. The first few days were hard, I felt devastated… I felt hatred on her as how could she abruptly abandon me and our plans… then that hatred on her became hatred on myself… but watching your videos made me realize that I should know my worth… I should have self-respect… I know to myself that I treated her with love and respect.
Stay away unless you did something hurtful to her. No gifts, no flowers, nothing. It is a weak behavior. Did it a couple of times. It boosts their ego, which is already floated as she walked away. Not good. She has committed a crime against a potentially a good relationship…
know how it feels guys, been there myself but now I got her back work on yourself don't be mean if you want her back, broke no contact several times, I know its hard but you have to endure, there is no easy way, if you want someone to talk to I'm here will gladly share my story to lift you up and be motivated
@@osmanmohamud2307 what caused the break up bro, we need to know that first so i could give proper advice, if you need someone to talk to its much easier on social media platforms, i would gladly help someone in need, because i know that feeling, and i dont want it to happen on others.
Coach, my ex has started communicating after under 30 days of no contact. My challenge is that she doesn’t want to talk, but just behaving like we never broke up. She’s just pushing for intimacy
I'm giving up hope after two months. Why wait for anybody???. Life is too short to wait for someone. If they truly love you they would stay, don't understand the games people play.
After 4 months she came back to me. We’re more in love than we were when we first met. Time heals all wounds, if it’s meant to be then they always come back
All no contact gets me is sporadic breadcrumbs. I've called him out on the breadcrumbs, but it doesn't change anything. It's him that initiates the texts more than me. It's also been a year and a half. I've gotten better at compartmentalizing our conversations and not dwell on them as much, but it does get on my nerves the way he's done all this.
Coach Lee, thank you for the last 18 months of my life. You are the first thing I listen to so many times when I can’t sleep. Been through two break ups. But the last one ripped my heart into pieces again when moving on with another man. I’ve been crying almost five months. Do I walk away for good or keep hurting myself with my thoughts. I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve been using alcohol for a long time to cope. Any help or advice? Thank you for being the amazing man you are. God bless you and all you do. 😊
I am curious if you have guidance on the type of break up where a person just becomes such a flake, emotionally disrespectful, they force the other partner to break up. It's like they leave you no choice but to break up. Sort of a coward's way out.
I hope your videos work also was a People who messed up in the relationship I didn’t cheat on or anything but I wasn’t working on things. I need to work on on my self but now that she’s been gone I’m a whole different other person and I’m dedicated to show her that I have changed for the best sometimes we need something to happen to us in order to make the changes we need to do. I hope she comes back. And I hope these videos can relate to the people who messed up in the relationship and caused their ex to leave
I got blocked because I set a boundary. I was sad at first, but now I feel like he did me a favor. He showed me who he is early on before I caught feelings. He was love bombing me severely and made me feel special. Once I put my foot down on something important to me, I was cut off. I was the only one who spent time getting to know him and not responding with one word answers (his words not mine). He made a comment on my appearance and it upset me. His apology was weak and I let him know I was upset.
Great vid, exactly whats going on right now. I got tired of push pull bull and decide to unplug completely, took 2 days for her to change her attitude 180. We work in the same company.
Thanks for your work! Very helpful! Idea for a topic I haven't seen yet, unless I just haven't found it. "Was I a rebound?" If the person I dated was recently out of a significant relationship, how recent, does length matter or healing? If the relationship lasted a long time... and more than how long, does that mean it's no longer a rebound? Does that change my odds of hearing back from them, in what way?
I went no contact with my ex for two weeks. Worked on myself and it was honestly really nice. She contacted me but im very guarded now. She's clearly second guessing her decision to break up with me. Advice?
I was in a LDR, he broke up 3 weeks ago, stayed in touch, but he was then distant and said it was harder if we kept in touch. Been NC for 11 days, but we are in diff countries, no mutual friends, no social media, so no way he sees anything about me. How long would you recommend NC?
30 days NC after she broke it off after 20 years and she is already dating someone else and made sure to call me to let me know so when I come to pick up our daughter "don't be surprised when you see a unfamiliar man in the home!" Words cannot describe the level of devastation! When does the pain stop????
Hi Coach Lee, I’m a new subscriber to your channel. I could really use your advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are both older, in our 50’s. Two weeks ago we got into a heated argument on the phone and he hung up on me and I have not heard from him at all ever since. He didn’t say that he never wanted to see or talk to me ever again. I’m confused because I don’t know if we are really broken up or not? I did try to reach out to him at first but then I went into no contact with him. Why won’t he at least just say something? There was no closure, no constructive communication, nothing. Please advise me. I really do love this man. Thank you so much in advance for your help!
Or they can be consumed by the rebound. The novelty dopamine in the early stage of a new relationship is hard to compete with. Where we were before I got discarded was me doing all the work to keep our relationship together.
Yes this is what usually happens especially if it is a woman dumper. They rebound quickly or monkey branch. Once the dopamine wears off and they start having conflicts and arguments they may reach out to you, or they may just jump to the next one. It’s very narcissistic in a way.
I'm almost on the third month of a break up, but 17 days after replying her e-mail - which I call it NC. If I learned of these videos early on, I would of been NC from the beginning. I made a lot of mistakes that lead to the break up, but I'm working on myself to improve myself and hoping to reconnect with my ex. I have a big question! When we were together, my ex gave me access to her TH-cam channel to post concert videos. After the break up, and prior learning about NC, I still post concert videos on her channel. Now, I'm on NC - should I stop contributing to her YT channel? I know it's a no brainer, but I need a sanity check! I should post concert videos in my own channel.
Wish I could get to have a consult with you, these videos give me such hope for my situation 😢 dealing with a breakup after a bit more than 2 and a half years, having to be away from my homeland, dealing with the pressure of being alone in a foreign country and not being able to go back, is just too much all together 😢 thank you for sharing your experience with us
I've been divorced a year, she served me divorced papers two yrs ago. She had a replacement,at least I strongly believe she did. I did not want a divorce, I truly cared and loved this woman! I had too much to loose. We had a daughter together,had bought a home together. I told her this is a bad decision! She would talk about our marriage as if we were already divorced before the divorce!
Same here, though it’s been six years now. My ex had an emotional affair, but denied it. We have a son, so I couldn’t go full NC. In my experience, letting go of the anger and bitterness helped a lot. Those feelings do resurface on occasion, but I don’t show that to her; I call my bro and vent it out that way.
Hey Coach Lee, I’m a little confused about your general policy of no contact as you say that you should respond to messages? Or have I got this wrong. I decided to cut contact mainly for my own sanity about a week ago, and since have been told “you can’t even be bothered to message me back” “ you’re so rude etc” which I’ve not replied to, should I have? Also she did the dumping lol
I must be misunderstanding this. Make it up to him that I broke it off? Repent? Earn him back? He better not hold his breath! I broke up because he did not respect my boundaries. Are you serious? He should follow your advice and make me jump through hoops to get him back after HE LOST ME? I'm already reading books about firming up my boundaries so I won't get into another relationship with someone who is not going to respect me. I'll jump through my own hoops to prevent ever getting involved with someone who does not treat me like I matter, and then expects me to win them back after I've dumped them for good reason. He better either change his behavior and respect my boundaries in relationship or THE BOUNDARY IS THE DOOR. You had me until this. I really like your knowledge of the play of hormones and the actions they cause. But I am already aware of those. I have said too many times already that love is not just a feeling, Oxytocin is an action generating hormone. If I don't see actions aligned with words, then it's not love, it's deception.
Maybe neither understand why attraction diminishes, as when, for instance, one partner has a communication style that is sometimes subtly disrespectful, e.g., rather than respecting a partner's no, pushing them to do something, trying to persuade them. Or parenthetically throwing in comparisons to a former partner, positive or negative.
Hi coach Lee, I was with my gf for little over a year. We were very close and always had good times together, we never argued. She introduced me to her entire family and I was very close to them all. She would get cold feet a few times during our relationship because she has a bad past filled with verbal , emotional and physical abuse. Then she got out of all that and met me who I am a very great guy , I don't do drugs or drink. So I proposed to her this past Valentine's day and she put the ring on her finger and almost said yes but she said she wasn't ready. She recently told me that she's not in love and that I needed to leave her house and started saying all these mean things that are not true. It's been one month of no contact, do you think she will be back ? I truly love this girl so much... I think she's seeing someone else too
Presently going through a breakup. Been together almost 7 years we had an argument few days ago n he said it’s best we go out separate ways. It’s been 5 days of no contact. I couldn’t last not even a day without reaching out n here I am. I keep watching these videos n hope things will one day work out for us. If not then I’m also praying I’ll be ok mentally because presently it’s just complete HARD
My ex chose his sister's dog, lied and told me to just go and I left him, didn't look at him, didn't say bye and went. I have organic brain syndrome too which means I forget about ex's after 6 weeks and I live by if someone doesn't fight to maintain love and a relationship they don't deserve my time or heart and without them I forget about them.
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Coach Lee is spot on! Everything you coached us on happened in my situation. My ex and I are back in communication again but this time in a healthy slow roll pace. But I'm good with where we are now. Thank you for your wonderful advice. It definitely works!
Hi, I’m just scrolling for some info and comfort in all this but came across your comment. If my ex was trying to have a casual chat with me whilst actively being with someone else. Sorry just my two cent but I would never engage in this, you’re just accepting friend zone while someone else is getting with her. Coach Lee might chime in here, but personally I’d just tell her to shout me if things don’t work out. Don’t be her gay bestie, trust me she’ll never value you
@@danielceron584 yeh brother, I agree with your cake comment. Just my view (and I’ve been round these blocks a few times now) but I think she’s likely keeping you about feeding you the odd crumb in case this new venture doesn’t work out. This is just me but I’d find your situation torture and would rather just walk away, than be a “friend/backup” your call obviously, but I’m certain you’ll feel better about yourself and actually achieve higher value in her eyes if you just said look if ever you’re single and available again than maybe we can chat if not best of luck hope it works out.
Hope things clear up for you 👊
The fact that she moved on this quickly suggests that she has traumas that will not encourage a healthy relationship with you even if she came back. It will take her time to learn the lesson.
Sana all
Seriously, once you go no contact long enough while working on yourself, you'll get to a place where you won't want the other person back.
I hope so
@@greggarcia6974 You have the strength my friend. You deserve the best. I'm at 6 months of no contact. I have improved my mental well being by using these youtube videos, and meditating. Also my Shaolin Monk workout book. I'm working out three times a day at home.Getting ripped. I also have been staying active with my dog, and making lists of things I like about myself and what others like about me. I have finally fell in love with myself at age 47. Now I know what type of person I need, and I'm not wasting time on people who can't communicate properly or run from big emotions, or discard me like trash.
Build yourself into the kind of person you want to find. Those will be the type you attract. I've been meditating, working out and getting ripped. Learning about all this stuff on youtube. Understanding the attachment types. Eventually, you just realize that they are not right for you. Find the person of your dreams!
I cant wait for this ..
Not always.
I just found out my ex is with a 2nd guy since our breakup about 3 months ago. Been holding onto hope she would come back but today I decided I didn’t want to be with someone who could just give herself away and jump around so quickly. And honestly I’ve felt a bit better since the initial realization that it’s probably just over. These videos have been soothing in the meantime and make me realize how bad most relationship advice is.
My friend you have to work on your self/ self improve for the betterment of yourself despite the outcome with your ex!! You can’t worried about if she moved on or not!! You have to focus on your self and your healing journey!
She for the streets bro, don’t go back to her after she’s been on the carousel
I actually recently came to the same discovery brother. Its important to know that most of the time people have their next option set up before they leave the relationship. So keep remembering that when urges of wanting to get back together with her creep up. What has helped me is hitting the gym as much as possible and getting in physically better shape. You'd be surprised to realize that you no longer really want them anymore when you get in better shape at the gym because you start to appreciate yourself more
Bro thank God you didn’t chase her, no contact is a win win situation. If the new guy was still there during your breakup. No matter how much you tried at the end you would have gotten more pain. And if the new guy is rebound, soon she will realize her mistake. Stay strong! You are a giga chad!
Us men have to realize what went wrong in the relationship!! We also have to see why the relationship failed!! Us men can be a fault subconsciously
My ex and I got back together in October, but I still come back and listen to coach Lee bcs his advice is so valuable in every way. My relationship is so much more stable and healthy now; bcs of NC we both learned what it’s like to be apart and we hated it, so we’re more cautious now in how we engage when we disagree. My ex literally told me when he came back, “I learned your place in my life.”
There’s one thing Coach Lee said in one of his other videos that I think about at least once every day: “time is part of the recipe.” You can’t rush these things, let them miss you, let them learn that they hate your absence. Stay strong!
I love this, thank you. Also how long did you guys go no contact?
This gives me so much hope.
True love shouldn't have to even get to this point. I hate dating.
I love her so much that I can't describe it, I didn't know what a fearful avoidant was, a lot of stupidity and banalities ruined my beautiful relationship. I never did anything wrong. 4 beautiful years passed as if they had never happened. 4 and a half months have passed since the breakup, I am totally devastated. :(
I agree
I agree.I get that love isn't easy,but it shouldn't have to be that hard either 😑
Life is complicated though
@@Drikkerbadevand sad but true
Used to watch these 2 yrs ago. She never returned. It was chaos. It was all in my head. You’ll get past it. You’ll be good
sorry. Women move on fast.
Wow
Success story!!!! My ex, well my boyfriend again now, asked me to give it one more chance tonight. It took about 6 months. Thank you so much Coach Lee!!!
did you chase badly? how was the no contact?
@@cl5513I chased for maybe the first few days. He had me blocked so there wasn't really anything I could do anyway. I even tried emailing (don't do that one). 😂 Then I started watching Coach Lee and immediately went into no contact. It took about 4 months of radio silence from me for him to contact me first. From there 2 or so months of reconnecting. He went from "never" to "maybe" to "let's take it slow" to asking me back out.
coming up on 4 months now, after 6 i will throw in the white towel.
she reached out in November on google chat but then blocked me again :(
Lucky you :((
They think why aren't we chasing them.. Because Coachlee told us not to chase ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
Key is to let go of them asap guys, the need to feel your loss energetically, not just in the physical 3d reality. Let them feel your strenght. Meditate, work on your self concept. And they will come back quicker, and then you hold all the cards. Youve become a better person and they will know it
👏👏👏
The only way to flip the script is to give them the total NC breakup they think they want .
I feel with a month you change your mind that you even want then back. You start to see the relationship for what it really was not the illusion that you had wished it it be
Amen! I love this man . He teaches people self respect. You don’t stay where you’re NOT welcome. 🙌🏽👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I was the one who broke things off because I felt unwanted. 2 years in, I was always an after thought. He would go 2 weeks or more with no contact. Would never plan dates. Would whine they were alone for the holidays but yet not once tried to spend time with me. Then when called them out on it, they were like well I was busy with work and was sick.... and I'm just like well which was it? Because how lonely could you be if you were that busy being around people at work while sick, you should have been 1. Around coworkers, and then because sick just went to bed.
@@angiemccoy7639 you did good to leave. You respect yourself. Congratulations.
I now grow up because of him. I’m healed ❤️
Trust me when I say this. I was watching these videos like crazy last year. Throughout the year, I gave my life to Christ and he showed me why it was never going to work out.
People are always looking to fill their hearts with something. Relationships, drugs, alcohol or whatever. You see a lot of people jumping from relationship to relationship because they are looking for something but they won’t find it. We can only really truly be satisfied with Christ.
The tears I’ve cried but the peace I have in my heart and mind… wow!!! Release from the old and welcome in the new!
You guys got this, don’t give up hope! I almost did but i found something even sweeter!
You are so right! God bless you and best of luck!
@@victoriagrimm3066 May God bless you and give you the desires of your heart. Remember to surrender to his Will because he has a great plan for you and He loves you so much.
Stay close to him because He will be with you always.
Praying for my guy to surrender to Christ. His heart needs Christ
Thank you for these words of encouragement. You are exactly right. Knowing Jesus is what we need to fill the emptiness in our hearts. After 6 months of no contact I am really understanding this. God wants to fill me with His love. He will never reject me or stop loving me. ❤️ He has a plan for my life, and it's all about Him. We have to surrender to Him daily , trust Him and feel His peace.
Coach Lee has helped me to stay away, and brought me closer to my Lord. The rest is up to Him.
God bless all of you who are hurting.
Amen. I've been working to get right with Christ and it does feel good!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together.
Really? How do i find one?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor. I'm certain she can help.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
My relationship finished after 6 years together, just like that he wanted another woman, that was that was 2 years and 6 months ago, he is still with her, so it taken lot of strength for me to get past that relationship, it has taken me 2 years to fully recover so I have been pain free about 6 months, and ready to move on again….
After 5 months broken up we met for a fun weekend in Toronto and the experience was fantastic. We still are not together but things are a work in progress. We both agreed to let things grow and see what happens. I still love her and I know she loves me. If things don't work out I'll always know that I was given excellent advice by coach Lee and did everything I could do on my part and it just wasn't meant to be. Thank you Coach Lee from the bottom of my heart!
Good on you! I wish you all well. Slow and steady
You know she was with other men during those 5 months. I would not enter into a committed relationship with her again. FWB only
Any updates??
Feeling just a bit better after twenty days of NC. The most sad days of my 50 years of existence, hurts like a SOB ... So tire of been sad and no sleeping ...But I'll come out winning whatever the outcome ..Thanks man you help,,,, it has been immense.
I was married 14 years. My husband didn't call me except to come get my things. He lived over a year with another woman in our house. We divorced in July. He has broken up with the woman he lived with in our house. He is now married to another after only knowing this woman for less than three months. I still cry.
I feel you. But, is he ok? Do not cry over someone who could do this to you. Maybe you love him, or you love just an idea what you two could have been. I'm still standing for my marriage, but chances are smaller each day from my side. Just because he is showing me that he is too far from my idea of him. Relax. You will be ok. ❤
My ex ghosted me and I found out she immediately moved in with an old man! These people who move so fast are addicted to the highs of the beginnings of things. They can’t handle once the relationships get real. We were together for 5 years.
I was married 30 years my x married a younger woman recently after cheating with her on me. I'm ok now because I realized we never really had a great relationship it just takes time. You will be ok. I'm sorry this happed to you I know how you feel.
@@Green89_Yep this is exactly what it is. After they idealize you for awhile, and then things come down to earth they can’t handle it and want that excitement of a new thing. Then they throw away all the intimacy and everything invested for a cheap thrill. Then it inevitably happens again and again. They are broken and cannot be happy in a long term relationship.
The man is crap. Don`t cry. Soon you don`t want him back. Btw, I can say one thing. When you get into the good relationship yourself and you are happy, he will crawl back! It almost always happens.
Coach Lee, after so long and so much pain, moving on feels like slowly letting out your held breath. The relief still hurts, but your videos are very reassuring. You're like a friend.
Give it 2 to 3 years and you’ll laugh back at this moment…I promise 🙏🏾
Coach Lee’s advice is priceless. He truly understands human nature.
Every time when I feel heartbroken and when I need stable, honest and direct advice i watch your videos. It’s been years, thank you so much 🙏🏻
almost at 2 months of no contact. while i hope he will feel the loss and will return as we were together for 5 yrs... i can feel myself everyday starting to feel better and like myself again. these videos are literally getting me through all my weak moments when i just want to cave and text him
Did he reach out ?
@@Ghostrider32064 no he has not reached out. come april itll be 6 months of no contact. but if you are looking for hope i am feeling better and stronger. and truly it is thanks to coach lee's advice of no contact. obviously it still hurts at times but it is not as bad!
@speechiecrossing I also completed two months of no contact yesterday, in these two months her birthday passed and a couple of festivals on which we used to wish each other , but I didn't reach out to her on neither her birthday nor any festivals. I love her so much but I can't compromise on my self respect anymore. The fact that she has still not reached out means all she can offer me is her friendship and nothing more which is exactly what she said when we broke up. And I can't be her friend it just hurts too much. I want all of her or nothing , that's it.
@@Ghostrider32064 im so sorry to hear that! I feel your pain! my ex had a birthday recently as well and i also did not reach out. i think the first 3 months probably hurt the most but as you keep going with NC it does get better. obviously i still have occassional days where i feel sad or miss him but do not experience that huge urge to reach out. where a few months ago i had to fight everything in me to not text or call him to beg. obviously everyones timeline of moving on is different but i think not being in contact with the person does help you find your own strength because begging them isnt going to change their mind or the situation. it 100% hurts to be forced to walk away from someone you love. but i think i am slowly finding/making peace with the situation.
@speechiecrossing Yes , I'm at that point where I don't feel the urge to reach out but I can't help but wonder that she didn't even reached out to me , this was both of ours first serious relationship which lasted this long 5 years. And she just threw it
For someone to look for your replacement while they still say they love you is such a cold thing to do.
Stay strong everyone listen to Coach Lee and get yourself back for you!
What he said @8:05 to 8:41 is Gold💯
This man has been my mental support through the last week. I really hope I get her back. Watching these videos and listening while taking a walk has been so great to keep my mind straight. Thanks coach!
Thank you for such kind words!
I need to thank this guy. A few years ago I went through a rough break up. I would turn to these videos to help get me through it. There were many hard nights. I kept watching and watching. I followed what he said, and sure enough my ex contacted me asking if I wanted to get together to talk about things and asked if I would consider dating her again (it took about 6 months for those wondering, she started reaching out at about 3). We had one or two conversations when she tried to come back and I saw red flags, dipped and hit the block button. I absolutely, positively do not regret that decision one bit today. At the end of the story, I left that ex in the dust- where they belong. I haven't talked to them since and don't plan on it ever again. I'm back to good. All the pain is gone. I really appreciate the comfort that these videos provided during that time of immense hurt.
I keep watching your videos everyday to help me through no contact.. it’s been 5 days now and I will push through because I know my worth and he’s guna be shocked when he thinks he’s lost me forever.. this time I’m strong 💪 and I don’t put up with half ass relationships.. I treat him with love he treat me with disrespect. I win in the end
I think I'm finally open to other relationships. I'm keeping the door open for my ex-whom I haven't seen in person in almost two months and haven't contacted in almost four weeks after declining his request for friendship-but I believe I'm ready to get to know new people.
Thank you, Coach Lee, for providing us with this quality content for free. This channel has helped me rediscover my sense of self-worth and self-respect. I don't know where I would be without your guidance :)
He truly broke my heart I felt like my whole life was over but I didn’t give up hope what helped me was listening to you ty
Here’s a tip, if they left you they will leave you again after they get bored with you so never take them back just find someone else, there’s plenty of fish in the ocean
Coach Lee videos are more than getting your ex back! They help your social calibration beyond love, there is always power in walking away, there is a point in life where you have to withdraw and re-discover yourself, and also the importance of being alone (enjoying to be with one self out of choice),this can be the most important phase that many misses during our living!
'How's the chicken?' ROFL. that line just brightened up my day :)
I laughed so hard at that!
Same here
Good to know that I did the right thing. I was dumped 5 weeks ago over a text. She wrote a 1000-word text messages explaining her decision. Instead of begging, I just texted her (1 hour after her text) that I respect her decision, and thank her for the great time together. She thanked me for my understanding. I then stopped replying and went no contact.
💪🏻
Thank you so much Coach Lee!!! YOU helped me keep my SANITY! Today he reached out after over a month. He tried to test me and told me that it is really nice to be single.
I told him I hope that he is well but that I' m busy. I stayed pollite and didn't jump on anything he threw on me. By now, I am not even sure, I want him back, but thanks for telling me how to react!
This video is pinnacle ! 59 year old lad here from uk. Been there. Got the t-shirt and then some. Coach has done his homework , so you guys don’t have to!! Listen to him and coach Ken also.!! Thanks fellas ! Best to you both. 🖖x
Always excited to see new videos from you coach Lee. They are therapeutic. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for watching!
@RealCoachlee coach where do I find video about marriage couple my husband left me after 23 years, we have 3 kids together a house a dog,we are being separated since may month..I've been humiliating myself for months nothing it got worse after I founded your video I got the strength to not go after anymore...please help
I’m going to keel coming back for these as a reminder! Deep breathing, grounding, crying when I need to. Feeling my feelings and knowing it’s best to do that rather than stuff it down. 😢
I have broken up for 3 months now ,he blocked me everywhere and we are in a long distance relationship , thank you so much ,love your video
So, he went NC on me-I broke it off and we were cordial. It took 90ish days he reached out. I decided not to. I found I was happier and healthier without him in my life 😊. Sometimes this heals the dumper. I feel he was trying to manipulate me to let him back in like he did in the past. I want the best for him.
A year after the break up . I posted a pic of me and a girl . Now my wife and i are back together . 😂😂
Did that make her reach out?
@@J__007 she did . We got back together for 2 months and broke up again . I dont want her back . I moved on .
😂
I've been in NC for 50 days now... Breakup happened October... He went into a rebound within 2 weeks... I stopped checking their social media, and am just hoping for the best... But considering he seems so happy right now... I don't think he's coming back. Thank you though Coach Lee for giving us all comfort through these videos. ❤
Just keep bettering yourself and moving forward. If it's meant to be he will come back. The rebound won't last, that other woman isn't you! Be encouraged.
i feel you! he broke it off with me in october too. i dont know if there is a rebound but i cant imagine the heartbreak you must feel. just know that rebound wont last very long and continue to work on youself.
2 wks of NOT looking at my ex and his new girl's sm... breakup happened in August. I get it
Same but she dumped me on our anniversary in october, no rebounds i hope. :(
@@MadameEclatwell done. I know it's tough.
It’s been 8 weeks since the breakup, almost a month of no contact. I did not reach out on Thanksgiving or his birthday and don’t plan to reach out over Christmas either. I want him to contact me but I’m also trying to accept that he meant what he said when he said he didn’t love me anymore. I’m just trying to work on myself at this time.
Coach Lee I can't imagine the mess I would be without your videos and the Break Up Kit. THANK YOU. I listen to your videos and repeat the Kit every single day to get me through this broken heart. Your calm voice and the straight forward clear explanations are the perfect balance of hope and reality and a tad of firmness to keep me strong during no contact. I am putting all my hopes on following your instructions as much as I can to get my wonderful man back.
Go no contact because you need to stay away from what harmed you.
Don't belive their lies if they come back , they will hurt you more .
People like that are not able to love .
Do yourself a favor , move on.
33 days of no contact and my ex messaged me today and wants to bring me a Christmas gift and talk!!!
My 32nd day today.
How are you guys doing? Still talking or are you back in no contact?
@@13sprintuser I don't like her anymore.
Any updates??
I'm assuming most of your videos including this one applies to married couples as well (I know you modify no contact if you have kids or a home together). The principles are the same, and you're one of the few people that can connect with both types of ex's (gf or spouse). Thanks coach for your continued guidance and wisdom.
"They don't get the privileges of being yours anymore". Heavy hitting statement but 1000% true.
Grim, marriage situations have some similarities but differences as well. For a marriage in crisis where one wants out, I strongly recommend you get my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
Thank you Coach Lee. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago after 5 years, kind of blind sided. These videos help me a lot.
We broke up about 3 months ago now and we had 2 month long situationships. I 100% believe her friends have influenced a lot of her decisions, and I know there is something else going on in her life that I don't know about. Shes fallen back into bad habbits and her parents are completely on my side. I have hope she will realize what we had and ive been strong in no contact for 19 days. She contacted my friends about a "rumor" that was fake and asked them to tell me, literally a day after she had unblocked me. Then she got mad that I was wearing a shirt she gave my friend that I was wearing. But I'm going to continue no contact until either I dont care about her or she stops playing her stupid games.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
This totally worked for me. I walked away, two days no contact from spending time together for 6 months, daily calls and texts, cute reels etc to no talking at all, on the second day of no contact he reached out confessing I was such a big part of his life and he needed me back because he missed me immensely ❤
Mine calls multiple times a day, asks to see me regularly, and frankly blows up my phone when I don’t pick up. Now THEY are the one analyzing MY actions while I’m over here just moving on. It’s been less than 2 months. Talking to some very nice people in the meantime. I’m not entirely shut off from the ex yet, but if they want to get back together, they will have to say it. I can’t be the one to fix everything. I’m leaving myself open to a couple of very nice suitors and my feelings for ex are fading as I continue to work on myself.
Coach Lee is best. Got text from ex in 28 days. Zero contact from day 1 of breakup. No contact us best thing. Actually I saw that my ex texted after 1 month and texted her that I saw it late so I was not able to reply but still she replied and we are back today.
Thank you for this video coach. You’re doing gods work. At this point I think I’m ready to start letting go, and that she needs to put in effort if she wants us together again. I’ve grown and continue to grow, I’m not who I was. I hope she comes back but of course following your advice will prove beneficial
Thank you Posic.
Coach Lee knows what he is doing, his instructions work..
Thank you Coach Lee! They have to understand their consequences of their action. I am on NC. Don't care anything about him now. He Dumped me and so Karma has to catch up with him.
When your ex gone, don't ever keep stuff from ex. It makes you sometime remember it. That's my suggestion.
It's been a year and he didn't come back. He didn't say a word for a year. Im completely disappointed. This means he never loved me ... even when we were in a relationship for two years.. I can't believe it..
Sorry to hear that. What have you done to better yourself?
Quite the same for me. She broke up out of nowhere for no reason. It's ten months now. As we live in a small town I often see her in traffic. But I'm blocked for ten months now. So why should I react to her ? It's painful. Even if I try my best to ignore her - it's painful. I still love her more every day. And I miss her.
Same, in this situtation that is probably the hardest thing to realize or accept that a person you loved alot did not actually have the same feelings....
Could be guilt. If i feel like i did someone wrong, I stay away.
@@braydenbledsoe3252 even if you feel guilty I don't think you can stay away from the person you actually love
I’m 40 and been dating a woman (33) for 7 months.. no label but we had sex twice… she soft-ghosted me and I panicked and became too needy and anxious. She said she’s fed up and left me and she also blocked me… been in no contact for 10 days now… I deleted our photos together, hid the things she gave me, deleted her number so there’s really no way for me to contact her unless she reaches out which I doubt coz she’s too proud to do that and the way she said she’s fed up seemed like she’s really gone for good.
The first few days were hard, I felt devastated… I felt hatred on her as how could she abruptly abandon me and our plans… then that hatred on her became hatred on myself… but watching your videos made me realize that I should know my worth… I should have self-respect… I know to myself that I treated her with love and respect.
You do realize you can call her from another number, right? Or have flowers delivered to her. Buddy, think.
Stay away unless you did something hurtful to her. No gifts, no flowers, nothing. It is a weak behavior. Did it a couple of times. It boosts their ego, which is already floated as she walked away. Not good. She has committed a crime against a potentially a good relationship…
If they leave, it’s over.
know how it feels guys, been there myself but now I got her back work on yourself don't be mean if you want her back, broke no contact several times, I know its hard but you have to endure, there is no easy way, if you want someone to talk to I'm here will gladly share my story to lift you up and be motivated
Hey bro, need your advise about a break up situation with my LDR girlfriend. I am already 2 weeks of NC
@@osmanmohamud2307 what caused the break up bro, we need to know that first so i could give proper advice, if you need someone to talk to its much easier on social media platforms, i would gladly help someone in need, because i know that feeling, and i dont want it to happen on others.
need you advice
@@osmanmohamud2307 be resilient bro, 2 weeks aint enough, you need to let her think about you.
@@loganclark4079 just do no contact bro dont beg, begging at first is okay but after that be strong and stay no contact
Once she leaves, just let her go.. you can be sure she booked w up with other guys during that time
Another great video. Cant say im surprised tho. Single or not, these videos are useful for people to watch
I watched this, and fished a letter i wrote out of the community mail box. Saved my silly pick me attitude thank you
Men usually come back, women don`t. Women have tons of options to explore.
This is so physically painful……
Coach lee.."yeah i just got out of a long term relationship 2 weeks ago..hows the chicken".. another classic 😅
Coach, my ex has started communicating after under 30 days of no contact. My challenge is that she doesn’t want to talk, but just behaving like we never broke up. She’s just pushing for intimacy
I'm giving up hope after two months. Why wait for anybody???. Life is too short to wait for someone. If they truly love you they would stay, don't understand the games people play.
After 4 months she came back to me. We’re more in love than we were when we first met. Time heals all wounds, if it’s meant to be then they always come back
@@josephdelgadillo4493I'm rly happy for you ❤
Why aren't you messaging her?
@@SirenaSpades are asking me or the OP?
🤣 "That type of comment suggests intense ignorance, which is a special type of ignorance."
Always learning and laughing with Coach Lee.
All no contact gets me is sporadic breadcrumbs. I've called him out on the breadcrumbs, but it doesn't change anything. It's him that initiates the texts more than me. It's also been a year and a half. I've gotten better at compartmentalizing our conversations and not dwell on them as much, but it does get on my nerves the way he's done all this.
Coach Lee, thank you for the last 18 months of my life. You are the first thing I listen to so many times when I can’t sleep. Been through two break ups. But the last one ripped my heart into pieces again when moving on with another man. I’ve been crying almost five months. Do I walk away for good or keep hurting myself with my thoughts. I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve been using alcohol for a long time to cope. Any help or advice? Thank you for being the amazing man you are. God bless you and all you do. 😊
I am curious if you have guidance on the type of break up where a person just becomes such a flake, emotionally disrespectful, they force the other partner to break up. It's like they leave you no choice but to break up. Sort of a coward's way out.
I hope your videos work also was a People who messed up in the relationship I didn’t cheat on or anything but I wasn’t working on things. I need to work on on my self but now that she’s been gone I’m a whole different other person and I’m dedicated to show her that I have changed for the best sometimes we need something to happen to us in order to make the changes we need to do. I hope she comes back. And I hope these videos can relate to the people who messed up in the relationship and caused their ex to leave
I got blocked because I set a boundary. I was sad at first, but now I feel like he did me a favor. He showed me who he is early on before I caught feelings. He was love bombing me severely and made me feel special. Once I put my foot down on something important to me, I was cut off. I was the only one who spent time getting to know him and not responding with one word answers (his words not mine). He made a comment on my appearance and it upset me. His apology was weak and I let him know I was upset.
Great vid, exactly whats going on right now. I got tired of push pull bull and decide to unplug completely, took 2 days for her to change her attitude 180. We work in the same company.
"...How's the chicken?" LOL (your dry subtle sense of humor kills me Coach Lee)
Thanks for your work! Very helpful!
Idea for a topic I haven't seen yet, unless I just haven't found it.
"Was I a rebound?"
If the person I dated was recently out of a significant relationship, how recent, does length matter or healing?
If the relationship lasted a long time... and more than how long, does that mean it's no longer a rebound?
Does that change my odds of hearing back from them, in what way?
They discover the GRASS is not GREENER!
Hey Coach... FYI- just noticed your website isn't loading. Appreciate your work... valuable insights when judgement is often cloudy.
Coach Lee im still waiting using the NoContact rule for 5 years now.. still waiting dont give up dont chase them give them the break-up😂😅
🤣😂💀
No contact for 5 years 😂 that’s totally over May boi! 😂
I went no contact with my ex for two weeks. Worked on myself and it was honestly really nice. She contacted me but im very guarded now. She's clearly second guessing her decision to break up with me. Advice?
My ex is making videos about how dating sucks I think she might be on the verge of coming back but idk if she’ll ever unblock me 😅
He's got his ex, right across the road, who is more than willing to say and do anything to please him,
I was in a LDR, he broke up 3 weeks ago, stayed in touch, but he was then distant and said it was harder if we kept in touch. Been NC for 11 days, but we are in diff countries, no mutual friends, no social media, so no way he sees anything about me. How long would you recommend NC?
Hell will freeze before my ex comes back!!!
30 days NC after she broke it off after 20 years and she is already dating someone else and made sure to call me to let me know so when I come to pick up our daughter "don't be surprised when you see a unfamiliar man in the home!" Words cannot describe the level of devastation! When does the pain stop????
Ouch. Prayers go out for your sanity. Out of all the things in this world I pray you have a peace of mind
You say at the start "unless you said really hurtful things", can you make a video on if you did jsut that? Asking for a friend....
Hi Coach Lee, I’m a new subscriber to your channel. I could really use your advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are both older, in our 50’s. Two weeks ago we got into a heated argument on the phone and he hung up on me and I have not heard from him at all ever since. He didn’t say that he never wanted to see or talk to me ever again. I’m confused because I don’t know if we are really broken up or not? I did try to reach out to him at first but then I went into no contact with him. Why won’t he at least just say something? There was no closure, no constructive communication, nothing. Please advise me. I really do love this man.
Thank you so much in advance for your help!
My man Lee has got game for days...
Or they can be consumed by the rebound. The novelty dopamine in the early stage of a new relationship is hard to compete with. Where we were before I got discarded was me doing all the work to keep our relationship together.
Yes this is what usually happens especially if it is a woman dumper. They rebound quickly or monkey branch. Once the dopamine wears off and they start having conflicts and arguments they may reach out to you, or they may just jump to the next one. It’s very narcissistic in a way.
I'm almost on the third month of a break up, but 17 days after replying her e-mail - which I call it NC. If I learned of these videos early on, I would of been NC from the beginning. I made a lot of mistakes that lead to the break up, but I'm working on myself to improve myself and hoping to reconnect with my ex. I have a big question! When we were together, my ex gave me access to her TH-cam channel to post concert videos. After the break up, and prior learning about NC, I still post concert videos on her channel. Now, I'm on NC - should I stop contributing to her YT channel? I know it's a no brainer, but I need a sanity check! I should post concert videos in my own channel.
@triprussell3 I would stop... go radio silent. Allow some mystery for her to go into the curious stage. Good luck to you!
@@victoriagrimm3066 thank you for sanity check! I will not post anything on either channels! I'll hold it back.
Thanks Coach tho I strongly believe my relationship is over....these videos give me inspiration
Wish I could get to have a consult with you, these videos give me such hope for my situation 😢 dealing with a breakup after a bit more than 2 and a half years, having to be away from my homeland, dealing with the pressure of being alone in a foreign country and not being able to go back, is just too much all together 😢 thank you for sharing your experience with us
Hi Vane, you can book a session with me or a coach on my staff at myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
I've been divorced a year, she served me divorced papers two yrs ago. She had a replacement,at least I strongly believe she did. I did not want a divorce, I truly cared and loved this woman! I had too much to loose. We had a daughter together,had bought a home together. I told her this is a bad decision! She would talk about our marriage as if we were already divorced before the divorce!
Same here, though it’s been six years now. My ex had an emotional affair, but denied it. We have a son, so I couldn’t go full NC.
In my experience, letting go of the anger and bitterness helped a lot. Those feelings do resurface on occasion, but I don’t show that to her; I call my bro and vent it out that way.
Hey Coach Lee, I’m a little confused about your general policy of no contact as you say that you should respond to messages? Or have I got this wrong. I decided to cut contact mainly for my own sanity about a week ago, and since have been told “you can’t even be bothered to message me back” “ you’re so rude etc” which I’ve not replied to, should I have? Also she did the dumping lol
I must be misunderstanding this. Make it up to him that I broke it off? Repent? Earn him back? He better not hold his breath! I broke up because he did not respect my boundaries.
Are you serious? He should follow your advice and make me jump through hoops to get him back after HE LOST ME?
I'm already reading books about firming up my boundaries so I won't get into another relationship with someone who is not going to respect me. I'll jump through my own hoops to prevent ever getting involved with someone who does not treat me like I matter, and then expects me to win them back after I've dumped them for good reason.
He better either change his behavior and respect my boundaries in relationship or THE BOUNDARY IS THE DOOR.
You had me until this.
I really like your knowledge of the play of hormones and the actions they cause.
But I am already aware of those. I have said too many times already that love is not just a feeling, Oxytocin is an action generating hormone. If I don't see actions aligned with words, then it's not love, it's deception.
Maybe neither understand why attraction diminishes, as when, for instance, one partner has a communication style that is sometimes subtly disrespectful, e.g., rather than respecting a partner's no, pushing them to do something, trying to persuade them. Or parenthetically throwing in comparisons to a former partner, positive or negative.
Hi coach Lee, I was with my gf for little over a year. We were very close and always had good times together, we never argued. She introduced me to her entire family and I was very close to them all. She would get cold feet a few times during our relationship because she has a bad past filled with verbal , emotional and physical abuse. Then she got out of all that and met me who I am a very great guy , I don't do drugs or drink. So I proposed to her this past Valentine's day and she put the ring on her finger and almost said yes but she said she wasn't ready. She recently told me that she's not in love and that I needed to leave her house and started saying all these mean things that are not true. It's been one month of no contact, do you think she will be back ? I truly love this girl so much... I think she's seeing someone else too
Presently going through a breakup. Been together almost 7 years we had an argument few days ago n he said it’s best we go out separate ways. It’s been 5 days of no contact. I couldn’t last not even a day without reaching out n here I am. I keep watching these videos n hope things will one day work out for us. If not then I’m also praying I’ll be ok mentally because presently it’s just complete HARD
Any update
So excited to see this new video! I reach out to you when I need calm in my life! Thank you, Coach Lee!
Same here. Hope your doing ok
You’re so right on all points, I have feel stronger daily almost 2 months of no contact.
My ex chose his sister's dog, lied and told me to just go and I left him, didn't look at him, didn't say bye and went. I have organic brain syndrome too which means I forget about ex's after 6 weeks and I live by if someone doesn't fight to maintain love and a relationship they don't deserve my time or heart and without them I forget about them.