I just started my no contact and I'm dying 😂 I ain't calling tho ill use my time to listen to these no contact video and focus on my job until changes.
What coach lee is describing is called the reactance theory in psychology.. we react when someone takes away our freedom to do something. In this case, contacting, speaking or meeting your ex. Which is why we beg and chase which leads to our ex blocking us. It’s like when your parents say NO to you wanting to do something, you want to do it more lol. Everyone who’s here who’s been dumped has to recognise that you cannot fix something that your ex has broken. So don’t even try. Your EX has to be the one who fixes the relationship. Good luck to everyone who wants their ex back.
I agree with you. The ex who abandoned us has to be the one who fixes the broken relationship. I’m going on two months and I had no contact at all and most likely never will and that’s OK
I somewhat agree with that but we do have to learn to take accountability for our part in it whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not we are a part of the relationship therefore we are part of the relationship falling apart and having the need for reconstruction
I think for many broken relationships there are things that both parties have done wrongly. There are instances of course where one party acts in an egregious manner and blindsides the other, but I think many folks want to try to minimize their own role in the failed relationship. Supporting a healthy and true introspection of our own lives as the one who was dumped is very important no matter if they are our true partner, or if there is no hope at reconciliation. This stuff is very hard to deal with. 😭😭
I’ve commented before, but we have been 3 weeks no contact. I got to week 4 and I started getting out of bed. I started to journal, I started going out on hikes, doing a lot of self reflection. I started working on my eating habits, skin care, keeping myself and house clean. I started saying yes more to things I wouldn’t normally. I started hanging out with friends that genuinely made me happy. Just be happy. Whether or not they come back or not, do right by you, because you deserve it ❤
Leave what broke you alone!! Let them miss you! Let them wonder about you! Do no-contact for YOU, not to get the person who left you, back!!! Get the therapy, healing & self-respect u need! DO NOT CHASE THEM!! NO-CONTACT IS FOR YOU, NOT THEM!!
She really broke me :( and that's what's keeping me away this time. In the past I fought and fought for her now I'm silent for many months now and will continue
If someone you love walks away, don't stop him/her. No point in pursuing. It's a waste of time. Instead concentrate on your life. There are so many things to do, read, write, travel, exercise, meditate, spend time with friends, with nature, indulge,meet friends, relatives, the list is endless. You will find you were losing on so much by splurging your life on that undeserving person.
Yes, this is certainly the truth, but easier said as done. It takes time for many but for me this time around I was sad for about two weeks and figured, "Why am I the only one fighting for this relationship?” Now, it's her loss really and to some extent mine too." Life goes on with or without us, the dumpees and so hold your head up and know there are many more triumphant days to come. Many times the dumper is scared to move to the next level and do the easiest thing they can do which is becoming the dumper. Take the high road. This definitely creates wonder and mystery which works to increase the 'hmmm' factor in the dumper.
I remember years ago I had a female coworker I was really close with. She dated someone we worked with. We talked all the time and we were so tight and would tell each other everything. Anyways, one day I pull up to work and get outta my car and I can sense someone looking at me so I look to the left and she is about 10 feet away starring at me with tears in her eyes. She went on to tell me that her boyfriend (which I was cool with) left her for another woman. I honestly felt her hurt and it hurt me. I hugged her and told her one thing. I said listen, I know it might feel like you're world is over right now and you're lost but one day you're gonna find a man that makes you forget every ex you've ever had, he's gonna make your wounds dissappear for good and you're gonna forget all the past hurt you've felt from any past relationship. This woman is now happily married and last I checked is happier than ever. Please everyone reading this, remember, you will one day be my friend I consoled in the parking lot of my work. You will survive and be stronger than you ever imagined. It truly is a beautiful kind of pain.
@@MrSamoannn i just wish I was that way towards my ex 😔 I wasn't mean but coulda done things differently. But hey, we just weren't right for one another. Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙏
@@brandonohara4122 going through a breakup right now as well. Been watching a lot of videos for reassurance and advice to help. But seeing your comment was a different tone for once. Made me happy. Thank u
@@MrSamoannn that makes me really happy that my comment had a positive impact on you. Stay strong bud. What's yours will come. If you need to talk I'm here. Please don't torture yourself with negative thoughts like I did the first few weeks. It really does get better bro.
@@tyetr9853 something happened. We met - my ex kissed me and tried to take me to the bedroom. I've refused because when I asked what was happening the answer was: "Let's do a revival". This was exactly 2 weeks ago. I refused and said that I am non the "revival" type of person and left. Got a text while driving home: " I am sorry - I shouldn't had..." The week after (a week ago) I was offered to have breakfast together and I was so happy about that. We never had breakfast together. Since last week no more messages. I am incredibly strong - I truly was dying to make love with my other half but resisted. I need an apology, I want to know If I'm loved or not. I stopped giving myself away for free ages ago... but the last 2 days has been incredibly hard.
1st of all I never heard of NC. My X asked for it to re-think. I asked him to think for us & about us during the NC period. We both agreed we will do that. Following this plan, we would see a Family/Marriage Therapist. Today I reached out bc I sensed something didn't seem right. At 7 pm, I saw a complete transformation of the man I loved for 7 yrs. Without hesitation, he said that I was never the LOVE of this life and that he's moving on to find that LOVE. My hands trembled as I sat in my car listening to every single word stabbing me. I couldn't cry. He said he made this decision 1 week into 30 Days NC. Wow I am such an idiot! I wrote this bc I have been here in the last 30 days for support & Coach Lee candid words help me so much. This community has been so kind to me during my darkest/saddest hours. 7 years of my life, with complete faith & unconditional love. I do love myself more for going through this fire. I will be ok! I have excellent career, hit gym 6 days a week, and have a great golf coach. Life's going to be ok!
Life will be good for you Michele. Seven years is a long time to be with someone, but if he doesn't want it, there really isn't much you can do. Unfortunately, we cannot make others love us back. My ex and I had 24 years, but she left for someone else. I didn't know it when she left, but it did make it easier when I found out. I had no more desire to be with someone like that. It hurt, but I knew I was through with her. She left five months ago and things are much better now. They are not perfect, and I wish it had never happened, but being injured is not weakness. Your strength will come through and you will have a better life because of it. Good luck.
@@kcash6359 what helps me is remembering him being a monster talked down on me. It hurts. I felt betrayed. I remind myself that it's not worth to hurt for the one who careless for you. So yes we will live on! Live on happy to say "I will be ok"! Thank you K Cash
Coach lee deserves a pulitzer prize or something. This man is helping me so much, it's like therapy. Whether me and her get back together or not these videos have truly helped me in many ways.
@@Danaratoryeah this is my exact situation I’ve been trying my absolute best to convince her how I feel she’s really hurt from the relationship a person can only want you if they want you so I tried my best to chase her down and try to work things out the no contact thing is going to have to be set in stone for her to truly miss me
@@Danarator yeah the relationship was my fault that’s the only reason why I pursed after her and tried my best to change her decision if she does come back I’ll give it another shot because she was in love with me and I screwed it up and rushed things instead of taking my time and rushed the relationship so I pray to God she can come back because haven’t never had a love like that ever from her
It has been 4 months for NC , she blocked me on all social media etc , I know she won’t come back but I feel stronger than ever and massive thanks to coach Lee , your videos helped me a lot , much appreciated 🙏🏻
Amazing. 4 months must seems like an eternity. I'm currently just over 2 weeks NC. He reached out a few days ago saying he misses me so much. Then nothing. He must have been lonely and needed me to make him feel better. I'd rather no contact than some pathetic contact that now just makes me feel bad. Stay strong. Remember you are number 1
This GUY is incredible coach!! His message takes discipline on your part. This means YOU must value yourself as a whole person. Lee is awesome, YOU better listena an listen again!
Been a week now, of no contact. I have never felt such loss. My father died in april, and now after she left me, I feel as though my world has been pulled from under my feet. She did the breakup gently, and caring, I took it on my chin, accepted it and did not plead or beg, but my heart it just shattered. A part of me wants to let go, but my heart just cant. I guess time is my friend. Thank you everyone who is sharing this dreadful experience, you are not alone.
@@thechosen6911 I am much better, been the hardest struggle in my life, but it has also changed me in ways hard to describe. I changed work routines, I gained 25 pounds of muscle, I started a new education (I am 43). I met a new wonderful woman... If anything else guys.. This too shall pass.. its just impossible to have the same feelings for someone that dont want you in their life in the end.. she started reaching out, and when I realized she only did so out of pity I took control of my own destiny and now we havnt been speaking for 5 months.. all my choice.. and I will probably never speak with her again. Why should I even bother by now..
No one can break things down and with the right amount of conviction, the way you do Coach Lee. This is the reason why my ex left me. He lost feelings. Thanks again. That went straight to my heart.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
It's been 3 years this month and I've been so thankful for your videos otherwise I would have been the one constantly contacting my ex. Thank you Coach Lee
Hey everyone , listen to coach Lee , no contact does work! I thought my ex had lost feelings , because I found out she was in a rebound 4 days after we broke up and I begged and made a fool out of myself , and she told me to never contact her again. I stuck by that , and went no contact. Today made 3 weeks and she reached out saying she missed me and she can’t get me off her mind. I was in complete shock, if it wasn’t for Coach Lee’s videos , I would have reached out plenty of more times. Stay strong guys! What’s meant to be will be, if there was actual love. I still haven’t replied to her btw , don’t want to seem eager.
Really... A mf reached out after 2 months of NC... and im planning to respond after 2 weeks...to say "take care" Good thing he don't know where i live.... I assume if a mf does months of NC.... he's talking to someone else...... their lost..... Stay blessed.
For me, it depends. My ex broke up with me because I was needy and he lost attraction. I immediately went no contact and binge-watched Coach Lee, the Art of Love and Rory from the Love Chat (I would sometimes listen to these videos til I fall asleep and to keep me sane.) Then, guess who came back after 11 months telling me the "you don't really know what you have til it's gone," shit? 😂 Like, I really thought he was done. He was still watching my stories but he unfollowed me on the 4th month on Instagram. I was devasted. The 60-90 day no contact thing didn't work in my case. Still stuck to no contact because I thought there's no way I'll give my power back. After the breakup, I also started exercising, doing meditation, journaling and finding my purpose again. I reached a point where I was happy with or without a man in my life. I guess my ex felt this energetically because he came back. He told me he wished he was patient enough with me back then lol. As if. We're now seeing each other exclusively. I guess for this to really work, you really have to let go of the outcome. Do no contact for YOU, and use this time to get yourself back. Your ex will either come back or you'll meet someone even better. Focus on your personal growth. And it does get better everyday. Stay strong!
@@jvdshow i think that depends on the interest level of your ex really when they come back. In my case, I was gone long enough for him to regain that attraction back. I wasn't acting needy the way I was before and had other things going on when he's away. We're dating long distance and things are pretty much going well 2 1/2 months in.
It has been a year and 3 months since the BU and my ex has never reached out. I have a new and better partner now. But be prepared to never hear a word, esp if your ex is avoidant, selfish, or narcissistic. It hurts like hell but better things await you. Thanks to coach Lee for getting me and all of us through this terrible time!
I’m grateful you still watch. I am going to be talking more about maintaining happy relationships so people who aren’t going through a breakup can benefit. Thank you for your kind words.
Coach Lee, you are literally an angel Today is sixth day of breakup and it's becoming harder and harder 😭😭😭😭 But everytime i feel anxious or get panic attacks, i watch your videos. And the comments are really soothing. So much so so so much love ❤️💓😖
To everyone here. I just want to tell you that no contact works for some situation. My ex came back to me saying he misses me and all that. Don’t beg them. Just hurt their ego so that they know they can lose you and shouldnt take you for granted.
@@hm3622 We have been in this on and off relationship. That time was a week or two. There was this one time, we didn't contact each other for 2 months. He was the one who contacted me first and asked me why I didn't contact him. Last week we broke up again, I just told him that we shouldn't contact each other again. He agreed but I dont know if he will stick to it because he usually contact me back. Due to the love residue I had for him, I still reply to his texts whenever he texted me. I dont have any hope for us anymore. During this no contact, maybe you can decide if he is worth the wait or not. Stay strong 😁👍
I have a hard night tonight. And so happy u posted a video i could watch. I have it so much better. I respect my self more And love my self more then getting Hurt by my ex. Respect to u lee
Those hard nights are tough Dennis, but you can be tougher. In the future, you will be happier knowing you had some self-respect. Contacting her won't bring her back, even though the tendency is to think it might. Being injured is not weakness. You will get stronger every day.
I win. 22 years together. 13 years married. She's walking away she says. 5 weeks into separation. Where are you at with no contact? I'm gonna try it but we have 2 children so we will cross paths so need to do smart contact
When she saw me in person and saw that I seemed to not care about the breakup she seemed really confused and kinda upset about it so I think this is a good sign
Just been broken up with, we worked for 2 years on our relationship came so far ... I've been on so many different relationships channels so far.. Coach Lee - so far your advice seems to b the most comforting.. no false promises just what feels true. I appreciate it. Thanks coach 👍
I hope you are holding out well my friend and that you find what you need in this difficult time. If I can give some advice from the last 3-4 months of my life, it would be this: Focus on growth and improvement that is developmentally appropriate to your current progress. For example, someone telling you to ‘just move on, forget about them’ is not an appropriate goal to follow when you’ve juste been dumped, because it ignores your current stage of emotional healing. It’s like telling someone to make a snowman in the summer, even though you might want to make that snowman, there isn’t any snow so there isn’t anything you can do about it. Beating yourself up over not being able to make a snowman isn’t going to make the snow come any faster. A better example of a developmentally appropriate goal would be ‘meditate every so often’ or ‘give yourself moments to be aware of your emotions, and then let them flow through you without trying to hold anything back’. It is these actions that will allow you to get to the next step in your journey. You can’t expect to build a house without having to first lay down a strong foundation for what’s to come. Once you put in the work and let time do its thing, then you are able to tackle bigger and harder objectives.
Almost 2 months after doing no contact and now I felt relieved as compared on the day on being dumped. I started to reconcile and hangout with some old friends and enjoying my new job with great colleagues. Pursue my recording and eventually had the courage to sing the song we once sang together for whom I made it for her before. Life is yours, you may feel down, high and dry at this moment but as time pass by, You will regain yourself and start to smile again.
ahhh so perfectly said. It is painful to break that habit. We would talk every night for 7 yrs. Now, the room is silent & sad. It is hard to lose a best friend who also was ur soulmate. Since that soulmate pushed me out into the cold so easily, I do try focus just on that to remember a summary of his true character. You are right. This is our presence, life & choice. Choose strength over weakness. One day at a time. Big hugs to all who feel the pain like I'm going through now
Man you're so right. Keeping your mind busy in a healthy way is amazing. I've been working out. Also went from 200 lbs to 190 lbs(even though I didn't need to lose weight) lol Thank God we didn't sleep in the same bed. I rarely stayed the night. It's very weird because the last month or so we were together it's like I knew in the back of my mind I didn't see myself marrying this woman so I just kind of waited for her to realize it and make the move. I think it's because deep down I don't like to be the one to break up because I don't want to regret anything. In a way that is very selfish on my part. The only reason why I feel compelled to call her or text her is to let her know everything she did wrong in the relationship because she seems as though she was oblivious to it when we broke up. I know deep down inside she knows that she was still broken from her past which is not a knock on her but it is completely true. I have my own stuff as well. Oh well, only one can be the one right? I'm not going to contact her because it wouldn't be to get her back. It would only be to put some of the blame on her and that's not right. It's been a few days over a month right now since I said happy birthday to her and if a happy birthday is the last thing I ever say to her I rather live with that than any regret.
YOU ARE EVERYTHING a miserable dumpee needs brother. I was really dejected and heartfelt for the last 5 days after breakup. And when I started watching your videos, it was really really motivational. Thank you. Thank you somuch for your social service.
Thank you for video ❤️ I’m still in NC, 2 months & 1 week. I figured he’s tracking me on apps we used for talk and chat. This is a big win for me; even he don’t reach me, now I’m sure he’s thinking of me. I let him sit down with his decision to continue life without me. I’m going day by day, trying my best. I will not break NC. I will not clean his mess. Stay strong everyone 💪 btw, Coach Lee, woow, beautiful eyes 😍
I will be grateful for coach Lee for his videos helped me a lot get my ex back and made myself a better person. It really works but the most important is to improve yourself.
Day by day step by step you got this guys and gal's for me it's nearly been a year since my breakup, still lingers and I have my sad moments but a massive improvement since I first started my journey with coach Lee 🙂
Avoidant personalities are the worst. I dated one for 2.5 years. You can't fix them they need to fix themselves. They feel relief at the breakup as they got their independence back but they feel the breakup 4 months down the line, whereas secure types feel it immediately then find it easier over time. An avoidant will deliberately sabotage anything good that might result in closeness with their so called partner
Good advice Coach Lee, I’m going to stay on track and I want to say thank you sincerely because I feel you made this video to clarify my concerns. Truth is...you’re just that good at what you do. Thank you. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
coach Lee...I am really impressed with your power of knowledge on human psychology.. and it's always based on reality your speeches always lift me up ..and a source of motivation and strength. Love you ...coach Lee.
Was in no contact for 2 years after she broke up very badly and that too for no reason, later found out she was getting married and eventually she did, I haven't felt that kind of love ever before or since, yes no contact doesn't work all the times. I hope she is happy in her life and she got all she wanted, the love that I may not have expressed the care that may have been missing from me. May God give her all of it and more.
Lost the woman I truly love relationship wise because she is going through mental issues, I have seen her twice and she has looked at me a couple times similar to when we were in vacation and she told me she loved me with all her compassion. Picked her up recently, which I told her I would be there for her, and her and I talked for an hour at her mom's place. I could see she was conflicted. I walked up to that woman, I out my hands out, she took her time but gave me her hands, I rubbed her birthmark like I use to and looked her in those beautiful eyes of hers. She gave me a hug before I left after we had a painful but needed talk. I know she still loves me because she wouldnt of let me do any of that unless she did. But I agree with you coach, she needs to do the mending on her end. I will be there for her always, but it's her that needs that time.
Coach Lee is awesome. In a when u feel lost unloved and heartbroken Coach Lee doesn't just give you hope for you to get back together. He's given me a sense of peace and comfort. Plus he teaches psychology so you can understand things better and learn what to do next time. Instead of crying myself to sleep Im learning something from him
Hi Lee, this is an excellent video. I listened to it twice, and it makes a lot of sense. I'm still doing very well thanks to you, and I was just checking in to let you know. You're the best, and keep the videos coming. You're helping a lot of good people. Love ya...♥️💙
My ex (after 5 years), did not love me. He used me and when I found out the truth, I left him. You may not understand, maybe you will, but I was with a narcissist. Coach Lee helped me see this.
Well as for myself, unless my ex calls or text me , she'll never hear from me again. I'm not bitter, i forgave her and excepted the breakup. I'm a grown man and I took our relationship serious. I don't do back and forth like an adolescent. If she eventually reaches out to me, we can be cool , but I WILL NEVER TAKE HER BACK.
davidschultz, exactly what did she do for you to NEVER take her back? I read your story twice and I don't know/didn't read that she did anything bad. If it was her going back & forth, maybe she wasn't sure. Just in case you two meet up again, know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
@@jannlewandowski5540 Sounds nice, but I've moved on. I'm open to a nice female friend, but that's it. No more distractions. Life is short, my focus is on myself and things that I want to accomplish for me.
@@babydii3487 Thanks and I wish you well in a healthy relationship, you deserve it. Self preservation, put yourself FIRST and don't Ever allow a man to mistreat you. Blessings on you, read your BIBLE and pray, that's what did and still do, now I moved on and I SMILE EVERYDAY.
Just came out of my first relationship two months ago. We have been together for 4 years, and it has been a very difficult journey. These videos have allowed me to stay strong throughout my healing. Sadly, I am at a point where my anxiety and obsessive thoughts have affected my school and personal life. Both my teacher and my school’s social worker (people who I trust and admire) are telling me to confront my ex. The dissonance between Hope and wanting to let go is tormenting me from the inside. Part of me wants to stay away, so that I don’t mess up my chances in the future. But I believe and feel that letting go, having a difficult conversation with my ex, without undervaluing my boundaries, is going to be the best for MY healing. Still scared about going through with this though 😅
I’m in similar situation, 4 years of relation and breakup that happened 4+ months ago, at start I felt really hurt and begged and cried to my ex to stay and try again and I was called “creepy” in return. I’m saying that because maybe you should let some time pass so you don’t get so emotional while talking to them, it gets better! :) For like 2 months now I’m in no contact (haven’t reached out first), my ex reached out several times and I understood that silence doesn’t hurt me that much anymore. I’m stronger and you will be stronger too! Do things that you enjoy to let yourself relax for a bit and not feel anxiety. Best of luck to you!
Guess we're in the same club. I called my gf & told her how he talked to me with ZERO compassion. It was a fast & clean cut for him. My gf said that her X did exact same thing then 2 months later he reached out to her. I don't know. Can't think of anyone can be this heartless rn. 7 years mean 7 yrs of my life. Now, he's ready to date? Just like that? Dating frightens me. I need an honest man who has a heart. I guess Tofu my Labradoodle is my stud for a while. I'm there with you PiiTA & Amai. The way they treated us? Not worth the sadness. Let Karma do its thing. PiiTA, live as though it is over! Faith helps but it can hurt you. Faith got me YOU WERE NEVER THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
@@LabradoodleTofuBoy dating scares me too but I think in some way it’s a proof, that we have good hearts which love very deeply :) Focus on yourself and watch them realize that they lost a diamond in sea of rocks!
@@LabradoodleTofuBoy @Amai I appreciate the words of encouragement, it makes me feel grateful to know that kindness is everywhere in this world! After having thought about things, journaled and meditated, I can see why my desire to talk to her about revealing the truth isn’t necessary for my healing process, to move past this relationship. My counter example I guess you can call it, is that when people are dying, if they which to tell another human what they have on their mind, they don’t think about the future consequences of that conversation. They just want to have peace with no regrets in their final moments. The way I see my situation, I am lucky enough to be on good terms with my ex, but I respect myself too much to stay friends or reach out for trivial reasons. Therefore, I am in a position where I COULD have that no regrets conversation with her once she reaches out (and she will) and then be done with her. I want to have no resentment or regret towards the fact I never told her the things I really felt. Overthinking about if she is still thinking about me or if my chances are finished, isn’t healthy towards my growth, so if I do open up or if I end up not opening up, my battle isn’t with her, it’s with my anxiety and my self-worth.
My ex wants me back. All I can say to you guys is focus on yourself!! Once I ignored her totally and started to focus on myself (gym, education) she begged me to take her back. And now I don’t even know if I want her back..
My ex broke up 3 weeks ago and yesterday my cat died. Unfortunately both unexpected and without any good reason. He said himself that he didn’t plan this at all and regretted his choice. We both have adhd and texted impulsively. He said that there is still love when he sees me but he can’t cope with my situation I live in. I called and texted him a lot throughout and he was on the same page with “staying friends and get better to date again”. But the time I asked him how he is doing he told me that he didn’t do anything to help himself. So I told him I have to let him go. Yesterday when my cat died I called him again to tell him and he didn’t react at all but said: “you know I will listen in extreme cases like this since I want to help you.” He even went as far to say: “I hope I can be there for you again without a relationship standing between us.” I feel like my whole world makes no sense anymore…
We were Together for six years. When we broke up she told me she still wanted to hangout on the weekends so I stuck around. Every Friday I would ask and she kept saying “I’m not ready at the moment but maybe next weekend I think I will be” so I stayed around for three weeks until she said she was going to hangout with someone else. Went into NC for a few days just to clear my head because I was devastated and felt betrayed. Came back for two more weeks of just talking and just started NC yesterday. I’m 22 and we we’re together since I was 16 hopefully it works out in the end.
You will need to let it go, classic monkey branch going on there. Cut her out completely, dont let her back in. Trust me, it will hurt but it goes away and you wiil not regret it. 👍
Hey, Coach Lee... I have no clue where to start, but this video title definitely applies. The bride of six years and I have split, and I've moved out. She is involved with someone else, and I discovered she has been for quite some time. I'm lost in this storm. Read my name. You know who I am.
Oh Lordie! I'm hyperventilating as I listen to you! I know no contact works, but he just found someone to go out on a date with and says it went good, but not sure where it's going. We saw each other and had a blast for 7 months. Then got into an argument over his anger and I broke it off. He is a stubborn man (61 yrs with an ego). So, with that being said, I can't see him coming back my way. He probably thinks he can do better with someone who accepts his anger and doesn't speak up. However, reaching out to him will serve absolutely no purpose, so I will not reach out. Did it twice. Crickets.
Awesome stuff here, recently had a break up that completely blindsided me the date before the breakup she was not herself the body language was way off and a little cold but by the end she was all over me and telling me how much I mean to her and that she loves me… 3 days later she said she doesn’t feel the way she should and wants to break up. I handled it the best I could and asked if she was completely sure after her crying for 30+ mins she finally said yes. I told her okay I’m sorry you feel that way I wish nothing but love and the best for her and I left. Coach Lee puts this in a great perspective as I would like to be back with her but I can only control what I can control. I can control walking away and continuing to bettering myself and see what happens from there.
2 months and 24 days of NC. Never felt so empowered! I work on my happiness dayly, I'm part of new social communities and I celebrate my celibacy! Yah... I still think about him sometimes. But one thing is sure : this dude has no place anymore in my life.
Found out she was in a situationship 1 month after she left me. When i found out, I broke NC again for the 3rd time and tried begging again. She blocked me. I feel like dying so much 😢
it's been 3 months since my wife left me, the reason of breakup => uncomunicated expectations. After begging and pleading, i've gone in no contact. She reached out to me and we decided to give our marriage another chance. After a month of back and foward ..we are still there...back and forward... She has lost her feelings and I feel she is not attracted to me, I am the only one making efforts to save the marriage and I told her the only chance we have is to work together and meet in the middle. These days I'm thinking of giving up on her because it's not worth the effort when only one partner works and fights for the relationship.
BogdanHojbota, I know how you feel.know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
Hi Coach Lee, I want to start off by saying thank you so much for these videos, they have gotten me through the most painful 3 weeks of my life. I even listen to your videos in the middle of the night when I’m struggling to sleep. It’s been such an immense comfort for me. My boyfriend of 4.5 years blindsided me 3 weeks ago, he wouldn’t have even done it if I didn’t fish it out of him, I could sense he was being ever so slightly distant for a few days so I asked him about it and he finally admitted that he has been ‘overthinking’ and ‘feeling the pressure’ (we were due to move in together in the new year, although he was the one who suggested it and has been enthusiastic about it) he then admitted he’s having doubts about us and that he hasn’t communicated with me about how he’s been feeling, he feels we never really talked about a couple of arguments we had months back and he hasn’t been able to let it go. I was totally shocked because I was truly under the impression we were on the same page and really happy together- I had no reason to think otherwise, he gave off no signs and was very loving, even talking about how he can’t wait to live with me the week prior. I was in tears and started panicking, I didn’t react well - I was so certain about him and felt so secure, so to hear that was terrifying for me. We agreed to talk about it the next day - I laid all my cards on the table and apologised for any arguments, took accountability and told him how much I love him however he was completely cold. It was like a different person came over that day. He essentially told me he thinks it’s too late to fix anything. I didn’t handle it well, I was hysterical and even got angry at one point, even begged. The break up event was horrible. He left that night and we haven’t spoken since. This was 21 days ago. I started NC straight away but it’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. All I want to do is reach out to him. I don’t know if I should apologise for getting angry at the break up? I’m also terrified he is going to meet other girls as an attempt to get over me as we had a break up 1 year in to our relationship for a similar reason, and I told him to never do that to me again, so part of me feels that he would be too worried to come back this time because of how much he’s hurt me. I’m really lost at what to do, trying to stay strong and hold out for him to come to me but I feel really guilty about getting angry. Should I apologise to him?
I'm not a doctor but if I could interject some advice I would say never apologize for asserting your feelings and being honest about where you find yourself in the position in the relationship cuz after all honesty is a key factor along with communication essentially you have to communicate honestly cuz if you don't communicate honestly then you're building on something fake maybe apologize if you said something a little too harshly as in the words that you used but not apologize for what you we're trying to convey while angry
honestly I was in your shoes 4 months back...I begged pleaded, Apologized, promised to never repeat my mistakes but he told me we werent compatible and I wont be able to fit in his so called 'traditional family'...These reasons were strong enough to dump me..I had the same thoughts that he'll be too afraid to reach out to me...But I trusted coach lee and guess what he came back after 2.5 months of NC...Now he is even willing to leave his family and settle down with me in a totally different country...We are even stronger than we previously were ..Let them realise your value..Go NC..Take care ❤
This is very helpful. A video i will definitely come back too very often. She broke up 2 weeks ago, and its been hard to do the space or no contact phase. Wasnt until yesterday i finally was able to do it. Its day one, it sucks but i must accept it, she doesn’t disregard us being back together. But right now she feels like she needs to be alone, reconnect with herself because she isnt happy, school is stressful to her and family inconveniences. I understand 100% she rather handle this situation alone. But its hard since she’s someone i shared a lot for being a short relationship 9 months. But we were together pretty much all day everyday even went to florida with her family. So much was done in short amount a time. I hope she comes back. Im willing to wait for her when shes ready. Im done begging, i will put us aside just how she did. I will do self improvement and work on myself heavily.
3 months of no contact after a 6 month relationship. I cracked and checked her tiktok (she blocked me on everything except for Tiktok where I blocked her) and I wish I didn't. She is long gone and moved on..she's "happy" and in a new relationship. She even made a video about me after we broke up which I never saw and the lyrics were saying in the video "I never loved you". Absolutely heart breaking. I poured everything I had into this girl and I loved her. I fucking hate heartbreaks and breakups.
Hey brother. It's tough... but this is often a matter of perspective. It sounds like you have many lessons to learn from your experience. Please consider this advice from an old dog like me: if you treat a woman like a celebrity... she will treat you like a fan. Relationships only work when there is a balanced exchange of effort/ pursuit. If the large majority of effort is from party only... then its only a matter of time before the relationship ends up in the bone yard.
Everything seemingly changed overnight. For months, this was the most passionate, romantic and loving relationship of my life. She went from saying “I love you.” And “I trust you more than anyone in my life” to “it just sort of turned off” and “I’m not feeling romantic towards you.” She was clingy, and I think I doted on her clingy nature and insecurity. I probably oversaturated her with love because I thought it would make her feel less insecure. I suffocated her and I went too far. We parted ways at a train station. The previous night she said she wanted to break up, and I accepted reluctantly. I told her I didn’t think our love had to die, but if shes not changing her mind in not going to fight it. The next morning she cried and asked me for more time to think. I gave it to her. She hugged and kissed me, and we said goodbye. I haven’t spoken to her since, and I’m sad but feel fine. I do love her deeply, but I’m going to let her heart decide if she still loves me. Either way, I’ll be fine. I have lots of hobbies and friends, and my purpose in life is to get my masters and become a therapist. I have a life’s purpose, and she was not it. I still would like her to be a part of it, but I can’t control her heart. I can only give her space and see if she is drawn to me. Stay strong brothers, I do believe in love.
Hi bro Your story is similar to mine except my gf she never clingy.. I also need advice if anyone can help us out..but I hope we learn from it... My gf broke up with me and got back to me after 2.5 month of me In hell depression ..she kept saying she love me but I questioned her why broke up with me ...I told her I dont believe her words anymore ...telling her to proof by action ...soon after she broke up with me again 2nd time when I wish she would show her love is True...3 month later we got back together...I spend $$ and time trying to save our 8 years relationship ..i think showed her I can love her again but she felt she want to slow down and refuse to see me giving me excuse she is tired ...i told her if she really love me proof it...she told me she is tired of trying to proof her love and I still not happy after we got together for 3rd time...I ask her if she want to break up again I will not see her again...she said there is no breakup but she wont see me or text me until the time she miss me...now is going Day 17 of No Contact ...is she lying again?
@@tyetr9853 we broke up. I’m moving on, feeling ok. In the mountians right now with my best friend just playing guitar, hiking, eating frozen pizza and drinking beer. Life is good, and moving forward.
@@ZAZA-pv1pg hi what did u do overwhelmingly saturated with dinners dates or I love you too text ? Wanting to see her more than 3x a week texting good night kiss good morning text?
It worked for me and he came back to me but cheated again. This time he waited to see if she was a better deal before leaving. She wasn’t…..but be careful what you wish for. If someone doesn’t see your value you most likely don’t want them back. Some people are never happy and it’s not much to do with you or your worth.
sheepdog03, Only an IDIOT? An idiot has 4 color traits, Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue, according to Thomas Erikson. Each trait would wonder, "What's in your HEART?"
Guys listen; We sit here & scroll through comments to find the one ☝️ that applies to us personally to help get some clarity. Let me help you; she isn’t the one you “thought” she was. Yes they are that shallow. Yes she is selfish! & NO, don’t take her back even if she begs you! U deserve better & if u stay patient, u will get everything u are looking for, in the next one ☝️ (Just accept that there is nothing u can do to mentally change the past) Does it hurt? Yes! But it’s 2 choices. 1) remain in the Past & be depressed & miserable to everyone around u? Or 2) Accept it, & learn that the hardest pill 💊 u will ever swallow is this; the one ☝️ u thought u were to love forever, is really the Hard, life lesson that you need to let go!
Already got back together but can’t stop listening to Coach Lee advice.My ex dated few people before he came back to me and he said he was thinking i was with other person during the NC that’s why he took so long to reach out to me.Yes,i also told him i was dating with other person while he was dating other people because i also need to show him im attractive and have more options and can stay away like Coach Lee is telling us to do.I hope,he learned the lesson to stop expecting me to fix what he broke from the NC period and will not break up with me again in future.Those who are in NC,trust the process of NC and show your ex you can stay away and dump them back.
I didn’t let him go like you said. I found your videos too late😢 Even after I found them there was a lot of other mixed info on the internet and its hard to know what is right for your own situation so I tried to stay in contact with him and tried various ways to “re-attract” him and talk to him which didn’t work. I am finally in no contact and have ignored his breadcrumbs for months. His last breadcrumb was a week ago he said he wanted to know how I am doing but that doesn’t sound like he wants me in his life or wants to talk to me. It sounds like he is just curious what I am doing so I didn’t reply. It sucks because I want to talk to him but I don’t want to be breadcrumbed anymore and feel rejected again. If he ever wants to talk to me again he should try harder
My girl of 3.5 years broke up with me 20 days ago, and after 1 week(maybe shorter amount of time) moved to another guy that complete opposite of me, that she knows for 4-5 months. I was lacking attention to her for a few months, and she said she lost her feelings. She even cried more than me when we met up for the situation, and asked how we could become this many times. The rebound is not type of a guy that she'd like, but he gives her the attention she craved for months, thats the only thing she can like about him, our mutual friends and her sister says. She posts him on her stories, they go out every night, she does things with him that she wanted to do with me. In the stage of breaking up she said 'we have no chance' , 'you'll be always special for me' , 'i dont think i'll miss you' etc. I wrote lots of poem and letter with our photo and gave it to her with her sis, she said i wont read it now, i dont know if she will. I think she said these things because of the relief stage but, i'd like to know your thoughts on this.
Man I feel you, going through a very similar situation myself. You are not alone, even though you feel like crap. It’s okay to have bad days, don’t forget that. Focus on healing first, then focus on being the most attractive version of yourself you can be. Think about your core values, things that are a definitive deal breaker for you. Are/were those values respected between you guys? Did you hold off of communicating your needs and your boundaries because of being scared of the outcome? What attachment style do you have, and which one do you think your ex has? What are the feelings you are experiencing? Try to name them, recognize the sensations associated with those states of mind, and most importantly, do not try to suppress what you are feeling. Being angry they are with someone else, abandoned that they aren’t there to confort you right now. Feel it. Just make sure you don’t act while in an emotional state. Feeling is healing. I could go on and on about things that help me get through the days, but I guess the best us strangers can do for each other is be grateful to you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and be grateful that people who don’t owe us anything, take the time to compassionately support us. Stay strong my friend, make yourself be priority number 1. Right now, your ex isn’t that priority anymore, so take back the control you do have and heal through the trauma
@@RealCoachLee i already stopped, it was just a one time thing. im doing NC for a week rn. she's out with her rebound(that she said not in love but happy) every night, and that hurts. i know they're not compatible and do not think they can be together for long, but i doubt if she'll miss me. thanks, coach
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
No matter what, time will tell, i had an ex relationship didnt last much but 5 years later i got a random call and it was her wanting to see if there was room for another chance( when shes the one that called the relationship off since she had someone else) i told her no because her name got around alot thats shes been with x and x people and what she was telling me shes a single mother i said no definitively big No, but when we ended our relationship there was no contact from Her end she was enjoying life and now im the one enjoying and have peace Unfortunately for her she made a bad decision, and now she brought a child to this world whom looks like shes not happy with the babys father, too late now
Everything happens exactly the way it should. As individuals we must choose wisely how we navigate this reality. Live in the moment with an open heart and an open mind.
Believe me you're the best coach.. I'm in 12 years of marriage with 2 beautiful kids. He de values me every & then. Asks me to leave his life as he has moved on already. It hurts me a lot as I truly love him.
hey coach so i have a bit of a unique situation, so me and my ex broke up more than a month ago. of course i cried and pleaded, but then i sent an apology text for everything i had done and she sent one back and she also offered friendship. of course i took it since i havent found your videos at the time. she wanted to be friends so she can "take it one day at a time". but as time went on we talked like we were good friends for a month and even met up 2 weeks ago for lunch. everything seemed to be going good to where we were even talking about what we miss about each other and other "spicy" subjects. so i told her that i am willing to get back together and work everything out. her response was "i dont know, im finally having fun and im more confident in myself". to that i told her "we cant hangout anymore or even text" and that "as much as i love you, ive realised i need to recieve the same love back and if youre not it then so be it". she got bummed out and when she came to pick up her stuff she seemed very sad. of course i acted very neutral and said goodbye. this was last week and ive been in no contact ever since but for some reason i feel like i messed things up. i know she loves me and i know she really misses me like i do to her but im not sure she will come back cause i was a little rude. do i need to send a clean slate message? do i need to contact her? or wait for her to reach out to me? im desperate for advice
Do you regret making those boundaries clear and showing your value? Sounds healthy to me. Breakups suuuuuuuuuck…the powerlessness…the grief…it’s overwhelming. If we hold on tight we actually push away. Let go and be free. If yous are truly meant to be together it’ll work out. Fires need oxygen to burn so give both of you some space is my advice and be kind to yourself
The no contact only works if there were feelings to start with. Be honest short term relationship then the answer is no. No contact helps you get back your life and move on. Reset is for you not them.
Hello pretty lady you look stunning I must confess... I feel lucky running into a beautiful angel such as yourself on here ☺ 😘 and please forgive me if I bumped into your privacy, I just couldn't help it cos your beauty is so charming ☺🌹💋😘😍
Tomorrow is my birthday and I hope she reaches out. It’s been a little over a month of nc and it’s been obvious on social media that she misses me. If she doesn’t reach out it’s no big deal tho. I’m starting to feel ok. I’ve watched all your videos and have learned a lot. Thank you coach Lee.
Exact same boat for me. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and I've been in no contact for 3 weeks (broke no contact once when we got back to college). I'd love for her to reach out to me tomorrow but I know that I'll be ok if she doesn't. I still think that the breakup is a shame as I still do see a lot of potential in us but she needs to see that too. A lot of her actions recently have shown that she is hurt by this whole thing, and that she is just trying to shield herself from me as I still get a reaction out of her. In my case I feel like it still just means that she cares and may have some regrets. If she didn't care, or was indifferent, she wouldn't have done any of the things that she's done in the past week. Anyway if your girl doesn't say happy birthday, allow me, Happy birthday my man! I've found a lot of encouragement through lifting and training with my teammates (it's tough though to talk with a lot of them as she is also on my track team), and my guitar. Find your thing and keep making yourself into a better person! They'll realize that they lost out!
@@tylernugent3617 no way we broke up going back to college. Ive been working out again and playing guitar too. I wrote her a ton of songs. We were good friends in high school. Went to school dances and would hangout in group settings. Started dating long distance last semester. Then she broke up with me before going back. She was always scared of getting hurt and I think she started feeling too attached and got scared. We were so compatible on every level and we’re friends for so long before dating that it’s a shame but hopefully it’ll work out. Best of luck to u man. We’re in this together.
Mine reached Out for my bday even though she herself wanted space and time.but she used my bday to reestablish contact. every now and then we now Check in on one another and i might See her after my Trip to my dad. but i dont know If this will rekindle Our Thing or Just Our friendship.she was my best friend 5 years Prior to us Dating . but to be honest. at this Point i also truly Miss the friendshio
18 yrs down the drain ... going through a divorce, I guess he never regained attraction..he never reached out in all this time ,no apology ,no nothing..he's dating like crazy..unfortunately we work in the same facility so I see him on a daily basis ,I avoid him as much as possible..but boy everyday it's like ripping a bandage off a very deep wound..listen to coach lee he's RIGHT ON ABOUT THE PROCESS I just wish it would have worked for me..
williamdeitz6944. It's NEVER too late to regain attraction. All those years are not easily forgotten..know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
No contact works guys it's been 2 months of no contacts today she called me and even unblocked me
How's it going now?
How is it going now?
What happened 👀
I just started my no contact and I'm dying 😂 I ain't calling tho ill use my time to listen to these no contact video and focus on my job until changes.
@@Anonymous-dv2eh we are stronger than ever before we still working on our relationship and listening to each other more
What coach lee is describing is called the reactance theory in psychology.. we react when someone takes away our freedom to do something. In this case, contacting, speaking or meeting your ex. Which is why we beg and chase which leads to our ex blocking us. It’s like when your parents say NO to you wanting to do something, you want to do it more lol.
Everyone who’s here who’s been dumped has to recognise that you cannot fix something that your ex has broken. So don’t even try. Your EX has to be the one who fixes the relationship.
Good luck to everyone who wants their ex back.
I agree with you. The ex who abandoned us has to be the one who fixes the broken relationship. I’m going on two months and I had no contact at all and most likely never will and that’s OK
what if it's your fault when they wanted to leave?
I somewhat agree with that but we do have to learn to take accountability for our part in it whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not we are a part of the relationship therefore we are part of the relationship falling apart and having the need for reconstruction
I think for many broken relationships there are things that both parties have done wrongly. There are instances of course where one party acts in an egregious manner and blindsides the other, but I think many folks want to try to minimize their own role in the failed relationship.
Supporting a healthy and true introspection of our own lives as the one who was dumped is very important no matter if they are our true partner, or if there is no hope at reconciliation.
This stuff is very hard to deal with. 😭😭
@@itsAuffy look up MGTOW
I’ve commented before, but we have been 3 weeks no contact. I got to week 4 and I started getting out of bed. I started to journal, I started going out on hikes, doing a lot of self reflection. I started working on my eating habits, skin care, keeping myself and house clean. I started saying yes more to things I wouldn’t normally. I started hanging out with friends that genuinely made me happy. Just be happy. Whether or not they come back or not, do right by you, because you deserve it ❤
My time frame and mindset is similar. How has it been going with the ex ?
That’s kinda where I’m at right now. Trying to be happy and do right by me , like if she comes back she comes back if she don’t she don’t .
One day at a time!
What happened with your ex?
what if he went no contact on me?
Leave what broke you alone!! Let them miss you! Let them wonder about you! Do no-contact for YOU, not to get the person who left you, back!!! Get the therapy, healing & self-respect u need! DO NOT CHASE THEM!! NO-CONTACT IS FOR YOU, NOT THEM!!
She really broke me :( and that's what's keeping me away this time. In the past I fought and fought for her now I'm silent for many months now and will continue
❤❤
If someone you love walks away, don't stop him/her. No point in pursuing. It's a waste of time. Instead concentrate on your life. There are so many things to do, read, write, travel, exercise, meditate, spend time with friends, with nature, indulge,meet friends, relatives, the list is endless. You will find you were losing on so much by splurging your life on that undeserving person.
Yes, this is certainly the truth, but easier said as done. It takes time for many but for me this time around I was sad for about two weeks and figured, "Why am I the only one fighting for this relationship?” Now, it's her loss really and to some extent mine too." Life goes on with or without us, the dumpees and so hold your head up and know there are many more triumphant days to come. Many times the dumper is scared to move to the next level and do the easiest thing they can do which is becoming the dumper. Take the high road. This definitely creates wonder and mystery which works to increase the 'hmmm' factor in the dumper.
❤❤
I remember years ago I had a female coworker I was really close with. She dated someone we worked with. We talked all the time and we were so tight and would tell each other everything. Anyways, one day I pull up to work and get outta my car and I can sense someone looking at me so I look to the left and she is about 10 feet away starring at me with tears in her eyes. She went on to tell me that her boyfriend (which I was cool with) left her for another woman.
I honestly felt her hurt and it hurt me. I hugged her and told her one thing.
I said listen, I know it might feel like you're world is over right now and you're lost but one day you're gonna find a man that makes you forget every ex you've ever had, he's gonna make your wounds dissappear for good and you're gonna forget all the past hurt you've felt from any past relationship.
This woman is now happily married and last I checked is happier than ever.
Please everyone reading this, remember, you will one day be my friend I consoled in the parking lot of my work. You will survive and be stronger than you ever imagined. It truly is a beautiful kind of pain.
You're a very caring and genuine person. That's awesome to hear. Cheers🎉
@@MrSamoannn i just wish I was that way towards my ex 😔 I wasn't mean but coulda done things differently. But hey, we just weren't right for one another.
Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙏
@@brandonohara4122 going through a breakup right now as well. Been watching a lot of videos for reassurance and advice to help. But seeing your comment was a different tone for once. Made me happy. Thank u
@@MrSamoannn that makes me really happy that my comment had a positive impact on you. Stay strong bud. What's yours will come. If you need to talk I'm here. Please don't torture yourself with negative thoughts like I did the first few weeks. It really does get better bro.
@@brandonohara4122 thank you man. Not my first breakup but time heals.
In these hard times I'm going through,it's your videos that make me stronger. Thank you Coach Lee.
Glad to hear that! You got this!
If you got broken up with and you let them know you didn't want the breakup then let it go. Its up to them now
although what if they said they didnt wanna leave and u said u didnt want this to happen either but they left u anyways cuz u got nothing in common?
@chainz7006 well then it's not meant to be. Wouldn't you rather be with someone whom you have more in common with?
@@brandonohara4122 true its just that its hard cuz the connection was so strong and we were together for 3 years
Lee makes it clear as day.
Unfortunately in todays world, we have to play the “the grass isn’t greener on the other side” game.
It's so nice to know I am NOT the only one going through this shitty time in my life 💖
❤BE STRONG EVERYONE!❤
How are you now
@@tyetr9853 something happened. We met - my ex kissed me and tried to take me to the bedroom. I've refused because when I asked what was happening the answer was: "Let's do a revival". This was exactly 2 weeks ago. I refused and said that I am non the "revival" type of person and left. Got a text while driving home: " I am sorry - I shouldn't had..." The week after (a week ago) I was offered to have breakfast together and I was so happy about that. We never had breakfast together. Since last week no more messages. I am incredibly strong - I truly was dying to make love with my other half but resisted. I need an apology, I want to know If I'm loved or not. I stopped giving myself away for free ages ago... but the last 2 days has been incredibly hard.
@@jambogb damn brother. I hope things go well for you
@@tyetr9853 🤗
@@jambogb why did u become cold to her ? What is this Strategy...Be reserved and dont jump right back ...and let her earn you back ?
1st of all I never heard of NC. My X asked for it to re-think. I asked him to think for us & about us during the NC period. We both agreed we will do that. Following this plan, we would see a Family/Marriage Therapist. Today I reached out bc I sensed something didn't seem right. At 7 pm, I saw a complete transformation of the man I loved for 7 yrs. Without hesitation, he said that I was never the LOVE of this life and that he's moving on to find that LOVE. My hands trembled as I sat in my car listening to every single word stabbing me. I couldn't cry. He said he made this decision 1 week into 30 Days NC. Wow I am such an idiot! I wrote this bc I have been here in the last 30 days for support & Coach Lee candid words help me so much. This community has been so kind to me during my darkest/saddest hours. 7 years of my life, with complete faith & unconditional love. I do love myself more for going through this fire. I will be ok! I have excellent career, hit gym 6 days a week, and have a great golf coach. Life's going to be ok!
Life will be good for you Michele. Seven years is a long time to be with someone, but if he doesn't want it, there really isn't much you can do. Unfortunately, we cannot make others love us back. My ex and I had 24 years, but she left for someone else. I didn't know it when she left, but it did make it easier when I found out. I had no more desire to be with someone like that. It hurt, but I knew I was through with her. She left five months ago and things are much better now. They are not perfect, and I wish it had never happened, but being injured is not weakness. Your strength will come through and you will have a better life because of it. Good luck.
@@kcash6359 what helps me is remembering him being a monster talked down on me. It hurts. I felt betrayed. I remind myself that it's not worth to hurt for the one who careless for you. So yes we will live on! Live on happy to say "I will be ok"! Thank you K Cash
How’re you doing now I hope your okay God bless you ❤️
Coach lee deserves a pulitzer prize or something. This man is helping me so much, it's like therapy. Whether me and her get back together or not these videos have truly helped me in many ways.
I'm not chasing anyone who doesn't want me
No contact is literally not chasing
@@Danaratoryeah this is my exact situation I’ve been trying my absolute best to convince her how I feel she’s really hurt from the relationship a person can only want you if they want you so I tried my best to chase her down and try to work things out the no contact thing is going to have to be set in stone for her to truly miss me
@@Danarator yeah the relationship was my fault that’s the only reason why I pursed after her and tried my best to change her decision if she does come back I’ll give it another shot because she was in love with me and I screwed it up and rushed things instead of taking my time and rushed the relationship so I pray to God she can come back because haven’t never had a love like that ever from her
Lol FR 💯💯💯
Facts I totally agree with you
It has been 4 months for NC , she blocked me on all social media etc , I know she won’t come back but I feel stronger than ever and massive thanks to coach Lee , your videos helped me a lot , much appreciated 🙏🏻
You r much bigger than the hurt you got now
May this universe bring you more strength and find happiness inside you
I am so sorry. There's somebody out there who won't break up with you. Forget about her judgment. I wish you the best.
Same here…but don’t give up believe your love and hopefully the universe will turn your love and my love back to us😊
Thank you all @lisa , @Kia , @bhavani ,
Amazing. 4 months must seems like an eternity. I'm currently just over 2 weeks NC. He reached out a few days ago saying he misses me so much. Then nothing. He must have been lonely and needed me to make him feel better. I'd rather no contact than some pathetic contact that now just makes me feel bad. Stay strong. Remember you are number 1
This GUY is incredible coach!! His message takes discipline on your part. This means YOU must value yourself as a whole person. Lee is awesome, YOU better listena an listen again!
Been a week now, of no contact. I have never felt such loss. My father died in april, and now after she left me, I feel as though my world has been pulled from under my feet. She did the breakup gently, and caring, I took it on my chin, accepted it and did not plead or beg, but my heart it just shattered. A part of me wants to let go, but my heart just cant. I guess time is my friend. Thank you everyone who is sharing this dreadful experience, you are not alone.
I totally understand your situation brother, i hope things are going easy and wish you great life ahead.
How are you now ?
@@thechosen6911 I am much better, been the hardest struggle in my life, but it has also changed me in ways hard to describe. I changed work routines, I gained 25 pounds of muscle, I started a new education (I am 43). I met a new wonderful woman...
If anything else guys.. This too shall pass.. its just impossible to have the same feelings for someone that dont want you in their life in the end.. she started reaching out, and when I realized she only did so out of pity I took control of my own destiny and now we havnt been speaking for 5 months.. all my choice.. and I will probably never speak with her again. Why should I even bother by now..
No one can break things down and with the right amount of conviction, the way you do Coach Lee. This is the reason why my ex left me. He lost feelings. Thanks again. That went straight to my heart.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
It's been 3 years this month and I've been so thankful for your videos otherwise I would have been the one constantly contacting my ex. Thank you Coach Lee
Good job stay strong
3 years ✂️✂️✂️
Hey everyone , listen to coach Lee , no contact does work! I thought my ex had lost feelings , because I found out she was in a rebound 4 days after we broke up and I begged and made a fool out of myself , and she told me to never contact her again. I stuck by that , and went no contact. Today made 3 weeks and she reached out saying she missed me and she can’t get me off her mind. I was in complete shock, if it wasn’t for Coach Lee’s videos , I would have reached out plenty of more times. Stay strong guys! What’s meant to be will be, if there was actual love. I still haven’t replied to her btw , don’t want to seem eager.
Really...
A mf reached out after 2 months of NC...
and im planning to respond after 2 weeks...to say
"take care"
Good thing he don't know where i live....
I assume if a mf does months of NC....
he's talking to someone else......
their lost.....
Stay blessed.
For me, it depends. My ex broke up with me because I was needy and he lost attraction. I immediately went no contact and binge-watched Coach Lee, the Art of Love and Rory from the Love Chat (I would sometimes listen to these videos til I fall asleep and to keep me sane.)
Then, guess who came back after 11 months telling me the "you don't really know what you have til it's gone," shit? 😂
Like, I really thought he was done. He was still watching my stories but he unfollowed me on the 4th month on Instagram. I was devasted. The 60-90 day no contact thing didn't work in my case. Still stuck to no contact because I thought there's no way I'll give my power back.
After the breakup, I also started exercising, doing meditation, journaling and finding my purpose again. I reached a point where I was happy with or without a man in my life.
I guess my ex felt this energetically because he came back. He told me he wished he was patient enough with me back then lol. As if. We're now seeing each other exclusively.
I guess for this to really work, you really have to let go of the outcome. Do no contact for YOU, and use this time to get yourself back. Your ex will either come back or you'll meet someone even better. Focus on your personal growth.
And it does get better everyday. Stay strong!
Has it been awkward/weird/hard rekindling things?'
@@jvdshow i think that depends on the interest level of your ex really when they come back. In my case, I was gone long enough for him to regain that attraction back. I wasn't acting needy the way I was before and had other things going on when he's away. We're dating long distance and things are pretty much going well 2 1/2 months in.
👍🏼
Did you take him back ?
Thank you for posting this ❤️🔥
It has been a year and 3 months since the BU and my ex has never reached out. I have a new and better partner now. But be prepared to never hear a word, esp if your ex is avoidant, selfish, or narcissistic. It hurts like hell but better things await you. Thanks to coach Lee for getting me and all of us through this terrible time!
I'm so over my last ex but watching your content helps me practice detachment and feel more confident in learning to be securely attached.
He came back after 4 months and now I don't want him.
Fckin hell 😂 love it !!
Coach Lee, you literally saved my life a year & a half ago. Thank you for all you do. You are the GOAT
I’m grateful you still watch. I am going to be talking more about maintaining happy relationships so people who aren’t going through a breakup can benefit. Thank you for your kind words.
Coach Lee, you are literally an angel
Today is sixth day of breakup and it's becoming harder and harder 😭😭😭😭
But everytime i feel anxious or get panic attacks, i watch your videos. And the comments are really soothing. So much so so so much love ❤️💓😖
To everyone here. I just want to tell you that no contact works for some situation. My ex came back to me saying he misses me and all that. Don’t beg them. Just hurt their ego so that they know they can lose you and shouldnt take you for granted.
Very happy for you!♥️
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thanks. Stay strong. 😁
Happy for you! How long did it take?
@@hm3622 We have been in this on and off relationship. That time was a week or two. There was this one time, we didn't contact each other for 2 months. He was the one who contacted me first and asked me why I didn't contact him. Last week we broke up again, I just told him that we shouldn't contact each other again. He agreed but I dont know if he will stick to it because he usually contact me back. Due to the love residue I had for him, I still reply to his texts whenever he texted me. I dont have any hope for us anymore. During this no contact, maybe you can decide if he is worth the wait or not. Stay strong 😁👍
He didnt have any feelings for me to start with... its all been a narcisistic game.... he played it very well
I have a hard night tonight. And so happy u posted a video i could watch. I have it so much better. I respect my self more And love my self more then getting Hurt by my ex. Respect to u lee
Hang in there Dennis
Those hard nights are tough Dennis, but you can be tougher. In the future, you will be happier knowing you had some self-respect. Contacting her won't bring her back, even though the tendency is to think it might. Being injured is not weakness. You will get stronger every day.
20 years down the drain here. Just listening to this and i can see a lot of the mistakes I've made. No more stupidity from me from now on.
Me aswell. 20 years. 😔 Did all the begging and pleading. How are you doing?
I win. 22 years together. 13 years married. She's walking away she says. 5 weeks into separation. Where are you at with no contact? I'm gonna try it but we have 2 children so we will cross paths so need to do smart contact
When she saw me in person and saw that I seemed to not care about the breakup she seemed really confused and kinda upset about it so I think this is a good sign
Just been broken up with, we worked for 2 years on our relationship came so far ... I've been on so many different relationships channels so far.. Coach Lee - so far your advice seems to b the most comforting.. no false promises just what feels true. I appreciate it. Thanks coach 👍
I hope you are holding out well my friend and that you find what you need in this difficult time.
If I can give some advice from the last 3-4 months of my life, it would be this:
Focus on growth and improvement that is developmentally appropriate to your current progress.
For example, someone telling you to ‘just move on, forget about them’ is not an appropriate goal to follow when you’ve juste been dumped, because it ignores your current stage of emotional healing. It’s like telling someone to make a snowman in the summer, even though you might want to make that snowman, there isn’t any snow so there isn’t anything you can do about it. Beating yourself up over not being able to make a snowman isn’t going to make the snow come any faster.
A better example of a developmentally appropriate goal would be ‘meditate every so often’ or ‘give yourself moments to be aware of your emotions, and then let them flow through you without trying to hold anything back’. It is these actions that will allow you to get to the next step in your journey. You can’t expect to build a house without having to first lay down a strong foundation for what’s to come. Once you put in the work and let time do its thing, then you are able to tackle bigger and harder objectives.
To all here. Hope you get them back. Lots of pain here. 3 months and nothing.
How are you doing?
This makes a lot of sense man... Thanks for being there for me at this rough time of my life
Almost 2 months after doing no contact and now I felt relieved as compared on the day on being dumped. I started to reconcile and hangout with some old friends and enjoying my new job with great colleagues. Pursue my recording and eventually had the courage to sing the song we once sang together for whom I made it for her before. Life is yours, you may feel down, high and dry at this moment but as time pass by, You will regain yourself and start to smile again.
ahhh so perfectly said. It is painful to break that habit. We would talk every night for 7 yrs. Now, the room is silent & sad. It is hard to lose a best friend who also was ur soulmate. Since that soulmate pushed me out into the cold so easily, I do try focus just on that to remember a summary of his true character. You are right. This is our presence, life & choice. Choose strength over weakness. One day at a time. Big hugs to all who feel the pain like I'm going through now
Man you're so right. Keeping your mind busy in a healthy way is amazing. I've been working out. Also went from 200 lbs to 190 lbs(even though I didn't need to lose weight) lol
Thank God we didn't sleep in the same bed. I rarely stayed the night.
It's very weird because the last month or so we were together it's like I knew in the back of my mind I didn't see myself marrying this woman so I just kind of waited for her to realize it and make the move. I think it's because deep down I don't like to be the one to break up because I don't want to regret anything. In a way that is very selfish on my part. The only reason why I feel compelled to call her or text her is to let her know everything she did wrong in the relationship because she seems as though she was oblivious to it when we broke up. I know deep down inside she knows that she was still broken from her past which is not a knock on her but it is completely true. I have my own stuff as well. Oh well, only one can be the one right? I'm not going to contact her because it wouldn't be to get her back. It would only be to put some of the blame on her and that's not right. It's been a few days over a month right now since I said happy birthday to her and if a happy birthday is the last thing I ever say to her I rather live with that than any regret.
11 months is a long time to wait but I guess the reward was well worth it. Congratulations! Obviously if he does this to you again… RUN!!
YOU ARE EVERYTHING a miserable dumpee needs brother. I was really dejected and heartfelt for the last 5 days after breakup. And when I started watching your videos, it was really really motivational. Thank you. Thank you somuch for your social service.
Thank you for video ❤️ I’m still in NC, 2 months & 1 week. I figured he’s tracking me on apps we used for talk and chat. This is a big win for me; even he don’t reach me, now I’m sure he’s thinking of me. I let him sit down with his decision to continue life without me. I’m going day by day, trying my best. I will not break NC. I will not clean his mess. Stay strong everyone 💪 btw, Coach Lee, woow, beautiful eyes 😍
I will be grateful for coach Lee for his videos helped me a lot get my ex back and made myself a better person. It really works but the most important is to improve yourself.
Day by day step by step you got this guys and gal's for me it's nearly been a year since my breakup, still lingers and I have my sad moments but a massive improvement since I first started my journey with coach Lee 🙂
Did you do no contact?
@@ryandepalma3436 yeah I did no contact
It's been 2 years no contact after a 15 year relationship .
same been a year n a couple months since i contacted with them definitely better than the beginning
Avoidant personalities are the worst. I dated one for 2.5 years. You can't fix them they need to fix themselves. They feel relief at the breakup as they got their independence back but they feel the breakup 4 months down the line, whereas secure types feel it immediately then find it easier over time. An avoidant will deliberately sabotage anything good that might result in closeness with their so called partner
Yes
Thanks!
Good advice Coach Lee,
I’m going to stay on track and I want to say thank you sincerely because I feel you made this video to clarify my concerns. Truth is...you’re just that good at what you do. Thank you.
Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
He is loved his videos
Why worry? If they have no emotional attraction and don't see your worth, they're not worth your time. 😄
coach Lee...I am really impressed with your power of knowledge on human psychology.. and it's always based on reality
your speeches always lift me up ..and a source of motivation and strength.
Love you ...coach Lee.
Was in no contact for 2 years after she broke up very badly and that too for no reason, later found out she was getting married and eventually she did, I haven't felt that kind of love ever before or since, yes no contact doesn't work all the times.
I hope she is happy in her life and she got all she wanted, the love that I may not have expressed the care that may have been missing from me. May God give her all of it and more.
Lost the woman I truly love relationship wise because she is going through mental issues, I have seen her twice and she has looked at me a couple times similar to when we were in vacation and she told me she loved me with all her compassion. Picked her up recently, which I told her I would be there for her, and her and I talked for an hour at her mom's place. I could see she was conflicted. I walked up to that woman, I out my hands out, she took her time but gave me her hands, I rubbed her birthmark like I use to and looked her in those beautiful eyes of hers. She gave me a hug before I left after we had a painful but needed talk. I know she still loves me because she wouldnt of let me do any of that unless she did. But I agree with you coach, she needs to do the mending on her end. I will be there for her always, but it's her that needs that time.
It’s good to know that you’re still posting, you are the best.
Coach Lee is awesome. In a when u feel lost unloved and heartbroken Coach Lee doesn't just give you hope for you to get back together. He's given me a sense of peace and comfort. Plus he teaches psychology so you can understand things better and learn what to do next time. Instead of crying myself to sleep Im learning something from him
Hi Lee, this is an excellent video. I listened to it twice, and it makes a lot of sense. I'm still doing very well thanks to you, and I was just checking in to let you know. You're the best, and keep the videos coming. You're helping a lot of good people. Love ya...♥️💙
What was the cause of your breakup?
My ex (after 5 years), did not love me. He used me and when I found out the truth, I left him. You may not understand, maybe you will, but I was with a narcissist. Coach Lee helped me see this.
Well as for myself, unless my ex calls or text me , she'll never hear from me again. I'm not bitter, i forgave her and excepted the breakup. I'm a grown man and I took our relationship serious. I don't do back and forth like an adolescent. If she eventually reaches out to me, we can be cool , but I WILL NEVER TAKE HER BACK.
davidschultz, exactly what did she do for you to NEVER take her back? I read your story twice and I don't know/didn't read that she did anything bad. If it was her going back & forth, maybe she wasn't sure. Just in case you two meet up again, know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
@@jannlewandowski5540
Sounds nice, but I've moved on. I'm open to a nice female friend, but that's it. No more distractions. Life is short, my focus is on myself and things that I want to accomplish for me.
@@davidschultz6411Take care of yourself. Contact us anytime!
💯💯
@@babydii3487 Thanks and I wish you well in a healthy relationship, you deserve it. Self preservation, put yourself FIRST and don't Ever allow a man to mistreat you. Blessings on you, read your BIBLE and pray, that's what did and still do, now I moved on and I SMILE EVERYDAY.
Coach Lee is the real MVP
Just came out of my first relationship two months ago. We have been together for 4 years, and it has been a very difficult journey. These videos have allowed me to stay strong throughout my healing. Sadly, I am at a point where my anxiety and obsessive thoughts have affected my school and personal life. Both my teacher and my school’s social worker (people who I trust and admire) are telling me to confront my ex. The dissonance between Hope and wanting to let go is tormenting me from the inside. Part of me wants to stay away, so that I don’t mess up my chances in the future. But I believe and feel that letting go, having a difficult conversation with my ex, without undervaluing my boundaries, is going to be the best for MY healing.
Still scared about going through with this though 😅
I’m in similar situation, 4 years of relation and breakup that happened 4+ months ago, at start I felt really hurt and begged and cried to my ex to stay and try again and I was called “creepy” in return. I’m saying that because maybe you should let some time pass so you don’t get so emotional while talking to them, it gets better! :) For like 2 months now I’m in no contact (haven’t reached out first), my ex reached out several times and I understood that silence doesn’t hurt me that much anymore. I’m stronger and you will be stronger too! Do things that you enjoy to let yourself relax for a bit and not feel anxiety. Best of luck to you!
Guess we're in the same club. I called my gf & told her how he talked to me with ZERO compassion. It was a fast & clean cut for him. My gf said that her X did exact same thing then 2 months later he reached out to her. I don't know. Can't think of anyone can be this heartless rn. 7 years mean 7 yrs of my life. Now, he's ready to date? Just like that? Dating frightens me. I need an honest man who has a heart. I guess Tofu my Labradoodle is my stud for a while. I'm there with you PiiTA & Amai. The way they treated us? Not worth the sadness. Let Karma do its thing. PiiTA, live as though it is over! Faith helps but it can hurt you. Faith got me YOU WERE NEVER THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
@@LabradoodleTofuBoy dating scares me too but I think in some way it’s a proof, that we have good hearts which love very deeply :) Focus on yourself and watch them realize that they lost a diamond in sea of rocks!
@@Amai__ perfectly said
@@LabradoodleTofuBoy @Amai I appreciate the words of encouragement, it makes me feel grateful to know that kindness is everywhere in this world! After having thought about things, journaled and meditated, I can see why my desire to talk to her about revealing the truth isn’t necessary for my healing process, to move past this relationship.
My counter example I guess you can call it, is that when people are dying, if they which to tell another human what they have on their mind, they don’t think about the future consequences of that conversation. They just want to have peace with no regrets in their final moments.
The way I see my situation, I am lucky enough to be on good terms with my ex, but I respect myself too much to stay friends or reach out for trivial reasons. Therefore, I am in a position where I COULD have that no regrets conversation with her once she reaches out (and she will) and then be done with her. I want to have no resentment or regret towards the fact I never told her the things I really felt. Overthinking about if she is still thinking about me or if my chances are finished, isn’t healthy towards my growth, so if I do open up or if I end up not opening up, my battle isn’t with her, it’s with my anxiety and my self-worth.
Wow Coach Lee.. now blue background looks better
Also, the new background colour is very soothing
My ex wants me back. All I can say to you guys is focus on yourself!! Once I ignored her totally and started to focus on myself (gym, education) she begged me to take her back. And now I don’t even know if I want her back..
My ex broke up 3 weeks ago and yesterday my cat died. Unfortunately both unexpected and without any good reason. He said himself that he didn’t plan this at all and regretted his choice. We both have adhd and texted impulsively. He said that there is still love when he sees me but he can’t cope with my situation I live in. I called and texted him a lot throughout and he was on the same page with “staying friends and get better to date again”. But the time I asked him how he is doing he told me that he didn’t do anything to help himself. So I told him I have to let him go. Yesterday when my cat died I called him again to tell him and he didn’t react at all but said: “you know I will listen in extreme cases like this since I want to help you.” He even went as far to say: “I hope I can be there for you again without a relationship standing between us.” I feel like my whole world makes no sense anymore…
We were Together for six years. When we broke up she told me she still wanted to hangout on the weekends so I stuck around. Every Friday I would ask and she kept saying “I’m not ready at the moment but maybe next weekend I think I will be” so I stayed around for three weeks until she said she was going to hangout with someone else. Went into NC for a few days just to clear my head because I was devastated and felt betrayed. Came back for two more weeks of just talking and just started NC yesterday. I’m 22 and we we’re together since I was 16 hopefully it works out in the end.
You will need to let it go, classic monkey branch going on there. Cut her out completely, dont let her back in. Trust me, it will hurt but it goes away and you wiil not regret it. 👍
At this point we should have moved on already brothers stay strong 💪🏼
Hey, Coach Lee... I have no clue where to start, but this video title definitely applies. The bride of six years and I have split, and I've moved out. She is involved with someone else, and I discovered she has been for quite some time.
I'm lost in this storm.
Read my name. You know who I am.
“They would’ve done whatever it takes to overcome that”!
Perfect
Oh Lordie! I'm hyperventilating as I listen to you! I know no contact works, but he just found someone to go out on a date with and says it went good, but not sure where it's going. We saw each other and had a blast for 7 months. Then got into an argument over his anger and I broke it off. He is a stubborn man (61 yrs with an ego). So, with that being said, I can't see him coming back my way. He probably thinks he can do better with someone who accepts his anger and doesn't speak up. However, reaching out to him will serve absolutely no purpose, so I will not reach out. Did it twice. Crickets.
Awesome stuff here, recently had a break up that completely blindsided me the date before the breakup she was not herself the body language was way off and a little cold but by the end she was all over me and telling me how much I mean to her and that she loves me… 3 days later she said she doesn’t feel the way she should and wants to break up. I handled it the best I could and asked if she was completely sure after her crying for 30+ mins she finally said yes. I told her okay I’m sorry you feel that way I wish nothing but love and the best for her and I left. Coach Lee puts this in a great perspective as I would like to be back with her but I can only control what I can control. I can control walking away and continuing to bettering myself and see what happens from there.
You're extremely articulate with the way you explain this stuff. Love your videos.
Dh whole video is awesome like other ones i like u as a coach u rock no 1 point is maintain distance it works like hell keep it up sir
Thank you for this video, it's helping me through a dark time and helping me get out of my own head.
2 months and 24 days of NC.
Never felt so empowered! I work on my happiness dayly, I'm part of new social communities and I celebrate my celibacy!
Yah... I still think about him sometimes. But one thing is sure : this dude has no place anymore in my life.
Seems like there are people who can't be content and are always needing more and more. Like a consumer. Next!!!
Found out she was in a situationship 1 month after she left me. When i found out, I broke NC again for the 3rd time and tried begging again. She blocked me. I feel like dying so much 😢
it's been 3 months since my wife left me, the reason of breakup => uncomunicated expectations. After begging and pleading, i've gone in no contact. She reached out to me and we decided to give our marriage another chance. After a month of back and foward ..we are still there...back and forward...
She has lost her feelings and I feel she is not attracted to me, I am the only one making efforts to save the marriage and I told her the only chance we have is to work together and meet in the middle.
These days I'm thinking of giving up on her because it's not worth the effort when only one partner works and fights for the relationship.
BogdanHojbota, I know how you feel.know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.
Hi Coach Lee, I want to start off by saying thank you so much for these videos, they have gotten me through the most painful 3 weeks of my life. I even listen to your videos in the middle of the night when I’m struggling to sleep. It’s been such an immense comfort for me.
My boyfriend of 4.5 years blindsided me 3 weeks ago, he wouldn’t have even done it if I didn’t fish it out of him, I could sense he was being ever so slightly distant for a few days so I asked him about it and he finally admitted that he has been ‘overthinking’ and ‘feeling the pressure’ (we were due to move in together in the new year, although he was the one who suggested it and has been enthusiastic about it) he then admitted he’s having doubts about us and that he hasn’t communicated with me about how he’s been feeling, he feels we never really talked about a couple of arguments we had months back and he hasn’t been able to let it go.
I was totally shocked because I was truly under the impression we were on the same page and really happy together- I had no reason to think otherwise, he gave off no signs and was very loving, even talking about how he can’t wait to live with me the week prior.
I was in tears and started panicking, I didn’t react well - I was so certain about him and felt so secure, so to hear that was terrifying for me.
We agreed to talk about it the next day - I laid all my cards on the table and apologised for any arguments, took accountability and told him how much I love him however he was completely cold. It was like a different person came over that day. He essentially told me he thinks it’s too late to fix anything. I didn’t handle it well, I was hysterical and even got angry at one point, even begged. The break up event was horrible. He left that night and we haven’t spoken since. This was 21 days ago.
I started NC straight away but it’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. All I want to do is reach out to him. I don’t know if I should apologise for getting angry at the break up?
I’m also terrified he is going to meet other girls as an attempt to get over me as we had a break up 1 year in to our relationship for a similar reason, and I told him to never do that to me again, so part of me feels that he would be too worried to come back this time because of how much he’s hurt me.
I’m really lost at what to do, trying to stay strong and hold out for him to come to me but I feel really guilty about getting angry. Should I apologise to him?
same situation here😥greetings from Italy!
@@jambogb sorry to hear 😔 hope you’re okay. We’ve got this even though it doesn’t feel like it, we’re going strong 💪🏼
@@hm3622 Indeed! Be strong and keep on fighting for your love!
I'm not a doctor but if I could interject some advice I would say never apologize for asserting your feelings and being honest about where you find yourself in the position in the relationship cuz after all honesty is a key factor along with communication essentially you have to communicate honestly cuz if you don't communicate honestly then you're building on something fake maybe apologize if you said something a little too harshly as in the words that you used but not apologize for what you we're trying to convey while angry
honestly I was in your shoes 4 months back...I begged pleaded, Apologized, promised to never repeat my mistakes but he told me we werent compatible and I wont be able to fit in his so called 'traditional family'...These reasons were strong enough to dump me..I had the same thoughts that he'll be too afraid to reach out to me...But I trusted coach lee and guess what he came back after 2.5 months of NC...Now he is even willing to leave his family and settle down with me in a totally different country...We are even stronger than we previously were
..Let them realise your value..Go NC..Take care ❤
This is very helpful. A video i will definitely come back too very often. She broke up 2 weeks ago, and its been hard to do the space or no contact phase. Wasnt until yesterday i finally was able to do it. Its day one, it sucks but i must accept it, she doesn’t disregard us being back together. But right now she feels like she needs to be alone, reconnect with herself because she isnt happy, school is stressful to her and family inconveniences. I understand 100% she rather handle this situation alone. But its hard since she’s someone i shared a lot for being a short relationship 9 months. But we were together pretty much all day everyday even went to florida with her family. So much was done in short amount a time. I hope she comes back. Im willing to wait for her when shes ready. Im done begging, i will put us aside just how she did. I will do self improvement and work on myself heavily.
Did she come back?
3 months of no contact after a 6 month relationship. I cracked and checked her tiktok (she blocked me on everything except for Tiktok where I blocked her) and I wish I didn't. She is long gone and moved on..she's "happy" and in a new relationship. She even made a video about me after we broke up which I never saw and the lyrics were saying in the video "I never loved you". Absolutely heart breaking. I poured everything I had into this girl and I loved her. I fucking hate heartbreaks and breakups.
Hey brother. It's tough... but this is often a matter of perspective. It sounds like you have many lessons to learn from your experience.
Please consider this advice from an old dog like me: if you treat a woman like a celebrity... she will treat you like a fan.
Relationships only work when there is a balanced exchange of effort/ pursuit. If the large majority of effort is from party only... then its only a matter of time before the relationship ends up in the bone yard.
Sorry to hear that man. Some people can be damn cold.
@@MB-ss1nq well said
Christ I’m sorry dude, but if a girl of making Tik Tok’s of you saying “I never loved you” you deserve wayyy better.
I’ve been no contact for 5 years & am immensely happy & well healed. No contact works!
Everything seemingly changed overnight. For months, this was the most passionate, romantic and loving relationship of my life. She went from saying “I love you.” And “I trust you more than anyone in my life” to “it just sort of turned off” and “I’m not feeling romantic towards you.”
She was clingy, and I think I doted on her clingy nature and insecurity. I probably oversaturated her with love because I thought it would make her feel less insecure. I suffocated her and I went too far. We parted ways at a train station. The previous night she said she wanted to break up, and I accepted reluctantly. I told her I didn’t think our love had to die, but if shes not changing her mind in not going to fight it.
The next morning she cried and asked me for more time to think. I gave it to her. She hugged and kissed me, and we said goodbye.
I haven’t spoken to her since, and I’m sad but feel fine. I do love her deeply, but I’m going to let her heart decide if she still loves me. Either way, I’ll be fine. I have lots of hobbies and friends, and my purpose in life is to get my masters and become a therapist. I have a life’s purpose, and she was not it. I still would like her to be a part of it, but I can’t control her heart. I can only give her space and see if she is drawn to me.
Stay strong brothers, I do believe in love.
Hi bro
Your story is similar to mine except my gf she never clingy..
I also need advice if anyone can help us out..but I hope we learn from it...
My gf broke up with me and got back to me after 2.5 month of me In hell depression ..she kept saying she love me but I questioned her why broke up with me ...I told her I dont believe her words anymore ...telling her to proof by action ...soon after she broke up with me again 2nd time when I wish she would show her love is True...3 month later we got back together...I spend $$ and time trying to save our 8 years relationship ..i think showed her I can love her again but she felt she want to slow down and refuse to see me giving me excuse she is tired ...i told her if she really love me proof it...she told me she is tired of trying to proof her love and I still not happy after we got together for 3rd time...I ask her if she want to break up again I will not see her again...she said there is no breakup but she wont see me or text me until the time she miss me...now is going Day 17 of No Contact ...is she lying again?
Update
@@tyetr9853 we broke up. I’m moving on, feeling ok. In the mountians right now with my best friend just playing guitar, hiking, eating frozen pizza and drinking beer. Life is good, and moving forward.
@@ZAZA-pv1pg hi what did u do overwhelmingly saturated with dinners dates or I love you too text ? Wanting to see her more than 3x a week texting good night kiss good morning text?
Exactly what she said to me all of a sudden... I couldn't believe my eyes
It worked for me and he came back to me but cheated again. This time he waited to see if she was a better deal before leaving. She wasn’t…..but be careful what you wish for. If someone doesn’t see your value you most likely don’t want them back. Some people are never happy and it’s not much to do with you or your worth.
I agree. I’m high value, attractive, and only an idiot would make me their backup plan
sheepdog03, Only an IDIOT? An idiot has 4 color traits, Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue, according to Thomas Erikson.
Each trait would wonder, "What's in your HEART?"
Guys listen; We sit here & scroll through comments to find the one ☝️ that applies to us personally to help get some clarity. Let me help you; she isn’t the one you “thought” she was. Yes they are that shallow. Yes she is selfish! & NO, don’t take her back even if she begs you! U deserve better & if u stay patient, u will get everything u are looking for, in the next one ☝️
(Just accept that there is nothing u can do to mentally change the past) Does it hurt? Yes! But it’s 2 choices. 1) remain in the Past & be depressed & miserable to everyone around u? Or 2) Accept it, & learn that the hardest pill 💊 u will ever swallow is this; the one ☝️ u thought u were to love forever, is really the Hard, life lesson that you need to let go!
I hope I can help others like this. Everything is so right you said. Patience !
If they don’t want you or grow with you.. let them go.. not worth wasting your time ..
This LEE is SO RIGHT
Best coach ever. Thank you for all the work which you're doing, dear Coach Lee
Already got back together but can’t stop listening to Coach Lee advice.My ex dated few people before he came back to me and he said he was thinking i was with other person during the NC that’s why he took so long to reach out to me.Yes,i also told him i was dating with other person while he was dating other people because i also need to show him im attractive and have more options and can stay away like Coach Lee is telling us to do.I hope,he learned the lesson to stop expecting me to fix what he broke from the NC period and will not break up with me again in future.Those who are in NC,trust the process of NC and show your ex you can stay away and dump them back.
How long were you in NC, how long was a reletionship and who made the first move? Hapoy for you
MAN YOU ARE GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!! LEE STR8 TO THE POINT AND CLEAN.......GOD BLESS!!!
Thank you James!
Background looks good! Nice change!
I didn’t let him go like you said. I found your videos too late😢
Even after I found them there was a lot of other mixed info on the internet and its hard to know what is right for your own situation so I tried to stay in contact with him and tried various ways to “re-attract” him and talk to him which didn’t work.
I am finally in no contact and have ignored his breadcrumbs for months. His last breadcrumb was a week ago he said he wanted to know how I am doing but that doesn’t sound like he wants me in his life or wants to talk to me. It sounds like he is just curious what I am doing so I didn’t reply.
It sucks because I want to talk to him but I don’t want to be breadcrumbed anymore and feel rejected again.
If he ever wants to talk to me again he should try harder
My girl of 3.5 years broke up with me 20 days ago, and after 1 week(maybe shorter amount of time) moved to another guy that complete opposite of me, that she knows for 4-5 months. I was lacking attention to her for a few months, and she said she lost her feelings. She even cried more than me when we met up for the situation, and asked how we could become this many times. The rebound is not type of a guy that she'd like, but he gives her the attention she craved for months, thats the only thing she can like about him, our mutual friends and her sister says. She posts him on her stories, they go out every night, she does things with him that she wanted to do with me. In the stage of breaking up she said 'we have no chance' , 'you'll be always special for me' , 'i dont think i'll miss you' etc. I wrote lots of poem and letter with our photo and gave it to her with her sis, she said i wont read it now, i dont know if she will. I think she said these things because of the relief stage but, i'd like to know your thoughts on this.
Man I feel you, going through a very similar situation myself. You are not alone, even though you feel like crap. It’s okay to have bad days, don’t forget that. Focus on healing first, then focus on being the most attractive version of yourself you can be. Think about your core values, things that are a definitive deal breaker for you. Are/were those values respected between you guys? Did you hold off of communicating your needs and your boundaries because of being scared of the outcome? What attachment style do you have, and which one do you think your ex has? What are the feelings you are experiencing? Try to name them, recognize the sensations associated with those states of mind, and most importantly, do not try to suppress what you are feeling. Being angry they are with someone else, abandoned that they aren’t there to confort you right now. Feel it. Just make sure you don’t act while in an emotional state. Feeling is healing. I could go on and on about things that help me get through the days, but I guess the best us strangers can do for each other is be grateful to you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and be grateful that people who don’t owe us anything, take the time to compassionately support us.
Stay strong my friend, make yourself be priority number 1. Right now, your ex isn’t that priority anymore, so take back the control you do have and heal through the trauma
stop it bro ..she do unimaginable things with tht rebound(guy) there's no way of accepting her back ...only my opinion!
He wasn't a rebound, she had your replacement lined up months ago. Sorry to say it dude. You're far better off without her. All the best!
Stop the love letters and poetry. That will NOT re-attract her but will make you less attractive.
@@RealCoachLee i already stopped, it was just a one time thing. im doing NC for a week rn. she's out with her rebound(that she said not in love but happy) every night, and that hurts. i know they're not compatible and do not think they can be together for long, but i doubt if she'll miss me. thanks, coach
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
No matter what, time will tell, i had an ex relationship didnt last much but 5 years later i got a random call and it was her wanting to see if there was room for another chance( when shes the one that called the relationship off since she had someone else) i told her no because her name got around alot thats shes been with x and x people and what she was telling me shes a single mother i said no definitively big No, but when we ended our relationship there was no contact from
Her end she was enjoying life and now im the one enjoying and have peace
Unfortunately for her she made a bad decision, and now she brought a child to this world whom looks like shes not happy with the babys father, too late now
What goes up, must come down - unless it's one of the 100s of times that it doesn't.
Everything happens exactly the way it should. As individuals we must choose wisely how we navigate this reality.
Live in the moment with an open heart and an open mind.
Dont be a option, permanent or otherwise! Respect yourself because one day; it will be all you have!!. Coach lee is dead on the mark!
No contact worked for me after 18 days. But she hit me up saying she missed her period 😐
Lol
Congratulations 🎉
You didnt know they were losing their feelings in the relationship and want to know if they feel something now You are in no contact? Impossible task
I still can't get over the single mom that I know wouldn't even be good for me. It's been two years since I met her
She was using you as a rebound.
@@ferencmondik31 yeah i think youre right
Believe me you're the best coach.. I'm in 12 years of marriage with 2 beautiful kids. He de values me every & then. Asks me to leave his life as he has moved on already. It hurts me a lot as I truly love him.
I love when you post a new video Coach Lee 🎊🎊🎊🎊
hey coach so i have a bit of a unique situation, so me and my ex broke up more than a month ago. of course i cried and pleaded, but then i sent an apology text for everything i had done and she sent one back and she also offered friendship. of course i took it since i havent found your videos at the time. she wanted to be friends so she can "take it one day at a time". but as time went on we talked like we were good friends for a month and even met up 2 weeks ago for lunch. everything seemed to be going good to where we were even talking about what we miss about each other and other "spicy" subjects. so i told her that i am willing to get back together and work everything out. her response was "i dont know, im finally having fun and im more confident in myself". to that i told her "we cant hangout anymore or even text" and that "as much as i love you, ive realised i need to recieve the same love back and if youre not it then so be it". she got bummed out and when she came to pick up her stuff she seemed very sad. of course i acted very neutral and said goodbye. this was last week and ive been in no contact ever since but for some reason i feel like i messed things up. i know she loves me and i know she really misses me like i do to her but im not sure she will come back cause i was a little rude. do i need to send a clean slate message? do i need to contact her? or wait for her to reach out to me? im desperate for advice
Do you regret making those boundaries clear and showing your value? Sounds healthy to me. Breakups suuuuuuuuuck…the powerlessness…the grief…it’s overwhelming. If we hold on tight we actually push away. Let go and be free. If yous are truly meant to be together it’ll work out. Fires need oxygen to burn so give both of you some space is my advice and be kind to yourself
The no contact only works if there were feelings to start with. Be honest short term relationship then the answer is no. No contact helps you get back your life and move on. Reset is for you not them.
Hello pretty lady you look stunning I must confess... I feel lucky running into a beautiful angel such as yourself on here ☺ 😘 and please forgive me if I bumped into your privacy, I just couldn't help it cos your beauty is so charming ☺🌹💋😘😍
You do need to recognize that after so much time, why would you want them back? That's a problem.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I hope she reaches out. It’s been a little over a month of nc and it’s been obvious on social media that she misses me. If she doesn’t reach out it’s no big deal tho. I’m starting to feel ok. I’ve watched all your videos and have learned a lot. Thank you coach Lee.
Exact same boat for me. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and I've been in no contact for 3 weeks (broke no contact once when we got back to college). I'd love for her to reach out to me tomorrow but I know that I'll be ok if she doesn't. I still think that the breakup is a shame as I still do see a lot of potential in us but she needs to see that too. A lot of her actions recently have shown that she is hurt by this whole thing, and that she is just trying to shield herself from me as I still get a reaction out of her. In my case I feel like it still just means that she cares and may have some regrets. If she didn't care, or was indifferent, she wouldn't have done any of the things that she's done in the past week. Anyway if your girl doesn't say happy birthday, allow me, Happy birthday my man! I've found a lot of encouragement through lifting and training with my teammates (it's tough though to talk with a lot of them as she is also on my track team), and my guitar. Find your thing and keep making yourself into a better person! They'll realize that they lost out!
@@tylernugent3617 no way we broke up going back to college. Ive been working out again and playing guitar too. I wrote her a ton of songs. We were good friends in high school. Went to school dances and would hangout in group settings. Started dating long distance last semester. Then she broke up with me before going back. She was always scared of getting hurt and I think she started feeling too attached and got scared. We were so compatible on every level and we’re friends for so long before dating that it’s a shame but hopefully it’ll work out. Best of luck to u man. We’re in this together.
Did she contact you?
Mine reached Out for my bday even though she herself wanted space and time.but she used my bday to reestablish contact. every now and then we now Check in on one another and i might See her after my Trip to my dad. but i dont know If this will rekindle Our Thing or Just Our friendship.she was my best friend 5 years Prior to us Dating . but to be honest. at this Point i also truly Miss the friendshio
@@zombiedeutsch so far no. Kinda losing hope. We met two years ago on my birthday so I was rlly hoping we’d have a nice chat ab it or smn.
18 yrs down the drain ... going through a divorce, I guess he never regained attraction..he never reached out in all this time ,no apology ,no nothing..he's dating like crazy..unfortunately we work in the same facility so I see him on a daily basis ,I avoid him as much as possible..but boy everyday it's like ripping a bandage off a very deep wound..listen to coach lee he's RIGHT ON ABOUT THE PROCESS I just wish it would have worked for me..
williamdeitz6944. It's NEVER too late to regain attraction. All those years are not easily forgotten..know it's really difficult and I've certainly been there. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.