There Is So Much Weirdness Going On In This Call!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ส.ค. 2022
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Poor kid has been either scammed or guilt-tripped by his own parents. Move out and onward independent of each other
I like that he laughed when they asked if he was single. He definitely realizes that a partner would not put up with him doing this.
Right? 🤣🙈
A partner would. If I had a partner, she will have to especially if I’m not using her income to pay for it
SOme women like that. That you love and taking care of your family.
@@jimmymcgill6778 there is a difference between loving your family and giving them half your income because they refuse to make sacrifices.
@@shanep2760 I didn't say he should be paying.
But Dave acts like you should do nothing for your parents.
It's as almost as he had problems with his.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. This is what Peter is doing
I have never heard this saying...I love it and so true.👍
I’m not sure why his parents feel so entitled to remain in a home they cannot afford. Sell it and move into a property you can afford! This isn’t rocket science!
They get their son living at home again, so that could be part of the reason.
The fact that they live in a $750k house that they are asking someone else to pay for... wow... just wow... the entitlement is BANANAS.
That is not the answer the caller wanted.😂😂
Ahahaha. Shame man. I just hope his eyes were opened🙈🥹. There is a lot of weirdness in here 🤣🙈
Sometimes, what we need to hear isn't what we want to hear.
He will ignore this advice, but his parents are awful for what they are doing to him and his future. Selfish boomers starting the cycle poverty with their own child.
He said, “he wants to pay his parents back for being good parents.”
Sir, that was their duty to be good parents when they decided to apply for the job of being parents.
Okay !! Preach
Exactly!!
I bet he’s still paying their mortgage and home equity loan
BS. Kids helping their parents is what is naturally supposed to happen. You're just trying to cope with your guilt. It's ok. Seems everyone throws their parents into a home for someone that doesnt care about them to do the bare minimum.
@@disco4535 do you know how privileged it is to be able to have time and money to care for aging parents??
You either have to give up your job to become a full time carer, causing financial issues for the grandparents, adults and their children. Or you have to have 10k+ per week to have a full time nurse.
I could never put this burden on my own children.
If he was married he wouldn’t be able to do this he would have an obligation to his wife and kids first
That’s not true. Mom and dad first, then your best friends and siblings, then your cousins, AMD THEN your wife and kids.
I would never allow my child to do such a thing for me. Why would I destroy her future to support me. It’s so unfair. And they don’t want to downgrade from their 700k home?
What kind of parent would expect their child to pay their debts?!!!! Unbelievable.
ALL KINDS.
How in the world could a parent let their child do this?? It's disgraceful. This guy is just getting started in life.
But it's perfectly OK for the child to get financial help from the parents?
You’d be surprised. There are a lot of parents like this
A child getting financial help is basically what you sign up for when you CHOOSE to be a parent… not paying the mortgage for a 50 y.o.
@@stlguy1976 yeah this is how this specific culture works, parents help children until 18 yhen off they go, and these children do the same
@@stlguy1976 the parents decided to have children not the other way around, so yes.
Dave’s analogy is fantastic. “It is like you bring them an umbrella when it rains. But this is the monsoon. An umbrella is not the structure that is sustainable for the monsoon.”
"pay them back for being good parents"??? THAT WAS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY, you don't owe them for your childhood.
His parents should consider a condo.
This caller is so strange, he’s being incredibly charitable to his parents, albeit in a way that crosses the line between generosity and madness, but he’s also so dismissive of the idea of not doing this, it’s like his father is speaking through him. I really question how great these parents were if this is his mindset. It sounds like Stockholm syndrome.
Substitute teacher and 750k house don't go together.😨
Caller is scared of his parents and will continue paying the mortgage
This is so weird. My dad worked until he was 85. I and my wife are both 63 and working. Stop the pandemic blame. You are an enabler.
It can be hard when you have a parent that guilt trips you.Same can be said for any loved one that does this
@@johnmitchell2741 Not hard at all. Just say, "Great guilt trip, Mom & Dad, but it's not gonna work. We love you enough not to enable you."
Sounds like the parents bought a house they could barely afford late in life, and now want to freeload off their kid. Dad’s career was in substitute teaching?!? Mom doesn’t work? How on earth did they ever qualify in the first place?
I'm thinking the dad's previous career
Same question I had? Does the mom work at all? Is there a real reason why all of them are not working as much as possible?
I want Dave’s quote on a shirt! 😂
There is so much weirdness in this I can’t even breathe right now!
😆😆😆
I man. That could applaud for many things these days.
Feel for the young guy. Parents ought to avoid being a burden on their kids.
My husband is an only child and the only child grandchild. Would he help them out for a couple of months? Sure. Would he pay the entire mortgage for 2-3 years? Heck no! This is insanity
is it insanity for you to pay 2-3 years of your child's college education?
@@rayjgold yes,it is....lol.not even close to the same
@@rooster5755 talking in circles......is it insanity to pay for 2-3 years of your child's college or not? Why is it different? The parents could pay down their mortgage instead of paying for college ..... that way the child could be paying their student loans instead of their parents mortgage.
@@rayjgold , it is your responsibility to provide for your children, not for your children to provide for you.
@@w_6880 paying for college when your child becomes an adult is not your responsibility.....there are no children in college, only adults. Yes it is nice to have your parent pay your college, just like is nice for a child to help there parents when they need help. Nice but not obligations in either case. If everyone listened to you, children who win the lotto won't give a dime to their parent, because,"it was their obligation to raise them" and is nothing to be rewarded.
I'm all about taking care of ones parents when they are no longer able to care for themselves... but these people have $500k in equity... they are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Most people downsize considerably when they get older anyway as you no longer need that much space.
I cannot imagine placing this burden on my son. Wow.
Mom and Dad are playing you. Set boundaries and get out!
Or, they could sell their house, buy a $300k house and have $200k left to put into mutual funds to add more income to the 45K that they are currently making.
Yeah, doesn’t have to be a $500k house. They don’t need that much square footage once the son’s not living with them.
I would love to know where they live and what sort of house it is is. The father working as a substitute teacher at his age sounds weird as well.
@@bighands69 Why would it be weird? I remember in high school I had a Physics and history teacher who were way too old, like past their mid 60s. In college it was even worse, this guy (sweet old man) taught us Calculus and applied math but he never remembered anyone's name, he had to be pushing at least 70.
I can't even imagine my parents LETTING me do this. Don't they have any pride?
Still, we never did get to hear Peter's question.
Yeah, shame Dave cut him off, would've liked to know what the callers plan was for the future. Maybe he was wanting to know if he could buy them out?
My father passed away a few years back. My mother took a financial blow from that. She is making it, but we had an all out fight for me to pay for her lunch at a Chinese takeout joint ($7). I'm pretty sure the topic of me paying her mortgage will result in WW III.
@@Damon-qt3fw I hope it was at least halfway decent Chinese food.
His parents will take advantage until he’s dead broke! His dad can go get hired in half a day!
Parents asking their kids to pay their mortgage is so shameful
They are robbing him of his future. That money could have gone to buying him a new house. The ONLY WAY this is ok is if they sign the house over to him
It would actually be a horrible idea for them to sign the house over to him. This is where not understanding estate planning and tax law causes people to make terrible mistakes. That said, he is the only kid so the house will become his at some point through inheritance.
What substitute teacher could afford that mortgage?
Kid has been lied to his whole life and is actually defending the abuse.
Absolutely. I wonder if they are narcissistic
It’s definitely an enmeshed household
@@haleytruslow7200 Wonder no more. Of course they're narcs.
It's called "The Family Trap". Break free kid!
His parents need to grow up, sell their house and pay cash for another one.
This ia dumb, he the only child, its gonna be his house sooner or later
You just repeated what Dave said.
The payback mindset is really a big thing in a lot of cultures.
They didn't even refinance when interest rates were 2.4 means his parents are acting like kids
Thry couldn't afford it.
how could they do that ? the father lost his job lol
@@bangladeshirealtor he should have gotten a job..... he should still get a job....
@@neilsmith9066 he did , it not that easy to get re hired at an advanced age for a good paying job .
@@bangladeshirealtor Then like Dave said sell the house. They could have put the title in their sons name and he could have refinanced since he is paying the bills a lot of options they could have done.
Not sustainable or healthy. They are responsible for their own bills and retirement and he should be building his own life and family. They should want that for him and he deserves it. Time to give them a end date and step away.
Parents are OBLIGATED to care for, provide for and raise kids that THEY decided to bring into this world. You don't owe them anything but honor, respect and gratitude.
The fact that they raised a son who grew up to be a decent man should be reward enough for them...you don't have to pay their freaking mortgage.
Yes, it's an adult kid job not to make the parents life harder, but to pay them 3k month when they could just go buy a house for 500k (which is still a nice house) is crazy.
I fully agree that he needs to stand up for himself, but people need to understand that its easier said than done as he may have no one else in his life and by doing so will likely ruin his relationship with his parents.
Never put yourself in a position where you can take from your children.
Participation in disfunction not bring honor is the best way I've ever heard it put!!
Sitting on half a million… literally!
This my friends is why Uncle Dave teaches the baby steps. At 66 and only one kid, why in the world do they still have a mortgage on obviously too much house? And he said home equity. Does that mean they have 2 mortgages? Even if the retirement fund is weak, a 2BR house in the Chicago area (they sound suburban!) could have been paid for long ago. And Peter seems to be doing well enough for himself to have student loans taken care of. So yeah. They need to sell and purchase a FOUR hundred thousand dollar home in the suburb I think they live in.
Thanks for reading my rant one year later!
World -wide there seems to be massive disagreement about what is enabling and what is helping. Being a good citizen is not handing a homeless person a meal or money that supports them living on the street and never gets to the root problem. Being a good son, is not supporting your young parents financially so they can get used to it.
You know you are enabling if the problem grows and/or continues.
You know you are helping if the problem is temporary. The help gets a person back on their feet.
Agreed. Stop throwing them fish, start tossing them fishing poles.
This is dumb, hes the only child, its gonna be his house anywayz
@@johndone8045 Still to expensive and unattainable in the here and now.
@@johndone8045 yeah, that all I would want, a house with 200k left on the mortgage. I know it has 500k in equity, but what if one or both parents need to go into an assisted living environment?
@@johndone8045 It's not going to be his house if they have a bunch of debts that get paid from their estate before he can inherit anything. Which seems likely, given their behavior.
That is the problem with parents who are not financially literate and never saved money
Both of them don't work. Why did this guy even call, he's not gonna listen they aren't gonna get it together.
Parentification is the right word to describe Peter.
God bless the poor person that marries into this mess
Why do you think he's single...
@@user-rw8zj1td9v Dave asked him if he was single and he said yes.
@@user-rw8zj1td9v he's single because he's taking care of his parents and what woman is going to want to be part of that?
Simple.. I would ask them to sell the house to me at 210k and I pay off the debt. Then move in and with the parents and chill😎😌
Mental Control and history of gaslighting: Exhibit A. Sadly his example happens more often then people realize. I went through similar situation only it wasn't money...but control of other areas of my life. The career I chose that they constantly tore me down about (I saw clients with disabilities in their home, connecting them with services...they thought it wasn't a real job because I didn't have a desk), I was financially able to support myself. Having a social life...they insisted EVERY Sunday I came over or I just didn't care about them.
Employers in all industries are desperate to hire anybody who is remotely competent. Dad can absolutely work, he’s just lazy. He shouldn’t make a single other payment.
Maybe he refused the jab to stay working at the school? Or ageism could mean he's getting dementia, & is too grumpy/forgetful around the kids?
@@catherinep2034 no, it just means he’s making excuses. I’m not sure if he’s a teacher, but teachers are very much in shortage right now, he should have no trouble getting a job.
Why would he work when all his bills are being paid?
@@adamseidel9780 yeah, likely he just wanted to retire
When Dave mutes the call mid convo. 😳🤣
I’m grateful for what I have but sometimes hearing these stories shows how lucky we are to be in a slightly better situation either without debt, no finance stress etc
The dad of the caller was doing substitute teaching. That pays about 2000/ month after taxes ( avg $100/day). He wasnt a salaried teacher. He had worked in other fields so Dave and John were not listening there.
The caller will absolutely continue paying the debt for the parents. He will get nothing out of his call.
All this makes me feel better because my mom has always made us feel that her kids have to look out for her since we were kids. 😳 It makes feel better to know that it is a disfunction and am not wrong for doing it.
She thinks my sister should divorce her husband to take care of her now that she is old.
Yeah this has come up on the show before, and some parents ingrained this into their children for some reason and it's totally backwards. Children are to leave the nest and create their own "independent" lives
Wow. Is your sisters husband a bad husband or your mom just wants him gone so your sister can channel the money to her?
@@buckybarnes3803 Mid-West farm family has entered the chat:
You don't owe your parents anything. It was their decision to have you and take care of you.
Tell your sister not to do that. Your mother is nuts.
This is a great example of how parents have kids as a safety net, to take care of them when they get older. I think having children is the most selfish thing anyone can do. You can’t have a kid for the kid if it’s not alive yet.
While most cultures in the world have the expectation that the kids will take care of parents as they age, there is also an expectation that the parents will support themselves as long as they can and then do what they can to contribute and make things as easy as possible. These parents seem lazy and entitled. They are capable of working, they should work.
@@silentnot4812 That's not true. Most of the time they have no such thing as social security or pensions, and if they do, it's not much. It's not true that the entire family leeches on one person. Usually, the parents live with one child when they're too old to live by themselves and all the children chip in to help sustain them. It only becomes a problem when they move to the US where such a system is not sustainable.
@@Austenfan177
Yes. Those cultures have that a lot. You get wealthy and if you visit extended family they expect you to give them money.
@@sblijheid
That's why we should push our culture. All races are equal but all cultures are not. Those cultures are weak to not get their own economic system going.
Yeah, it's when the parents are no longer able to physically work... not just I want my kid to pay my mortgage so I can watch soaps all day. 😒
The parents are only in their fifties. They are not infirm at 95.
I kind of hate when they just mute people and assume they know the whole story. Why didnt they ask him WHY it was a nonstarter? Maybe the house is being willed to him. Maybe its been in the family for 200 years. Maybe his mom needs a handicap accessible home and this one is already set up for her. Maybe grandma is buried in the backyard and now she haunts the place. Maybe its a horse farm and their equestrian business accounts for $35k of their $40k income. Maybe its a nonstarter for him and is off the table for discussion. Maybe a hundred other reasons. But Dave doesn't know bc he doesn't really care to ask.
Great advice from Dave!
People love their homes. Sometimes a little too much. A home is a possession, hopefully an asset. If circumstances happen that it makes more sense to sell that home and move than to keep it, then the house should be sold. People need to have a logical attitude toward real estate; not an emotional attitude. Owning a piece of property is no different than owning anything else. You are not married to it.
Go Dave! This one and another call reminds me so much about my sister’s situation and my parents relying on her 100%.
We are Christians but they are exactly those that mess with the word of God and take honoring for dollars.
My mother wanted me to give them $1200 a month because I needed to help them.
Don't do it. You're not an ATM. The only way you should take care of them is if they're too old or disabled that they cannot take care of themselves.
I think there might be an option where he continues paying for the house BUT in writing he gets it that so that it is an investment and not a gift to his parents.
Just in case something goes upside down and the house must be sold, he still gets a percentage of his contribution.
1/3 of his income a yr to pay his parents' mortgage??? Wow, generous kid.
Two months later:
The neighbors come home to eleven police/emergency vehicles across 4 different agencies and a small team from channel 8 Action News NOW.
The look on Deloney's face was priceless at 30seconds is priceless. lol
Questions!!!! Why is it a non starter? Why are they tied to the home/property? They cut him off.
Guilt makes people do stupid things.
His dad was paying $3K as a sub. That means a take home of at least $9K per month. Paid for by taxpayers I guarantee are not making that kind of money. That is seriously messed up.
property taxes on that house is probably 2k a month. Illinois...
"...I can't breathe." LOL
"It's a complete starter!" This call was all kinds of awesome!
The guy never got to say his three options. Not sure that his phone call was to talk about his parents but about something else.
Cutting him off after he says its a nonstarter, caught me off guard. What if he was planning on keeping the house? Eventually own it himself as the only child? Would that change things?
And what if his parents have crazy health issues and have to sell it down the road and leave him nothing. The what ifs are crazy here, but morally if i own a house, I don't expect others to pay for it. For what hes paying he could go buy his own house and not wait for them to die.
Watched this live yesterday and still savage at 3:07. :)
3:06 😂🤣😂🤣😂 Mr. Ramsey hung up on this guy so quick lol
I do not think this young man will have the courage to make them sell to get into an affordable home. He is a gutless wonder.
I mean if my child wants to pay me for being my amazing self who am I to stop them🤣🤣
I did this for my parents.
I went through a ton of growth.
I can look back and say that's insane
Can't afford it. Sell it. Not your responsibility
I am an only child. I know most americans can’t grasp this concept, but you help your parents. Dave asking why he is paying to help them is beyond ridiculous. I paid off my parents 160K mortgage after my mom passed. The house inevitably went to me, so who cares? This is to help them while they are living
I would not want my kids doing that for me, well if they made millions sure buy me a house but I am working now so I can take care of myself and my wife.
Oh boy! I know a particular mother who told her son he could take out more student loans to help her out financially when she could have got a job and kept it.
Please tell me the boy was not dumb enough to do it.
@@sblijheid Yes! And was disowned in return.
In my fam its actually hard to give anything to my dad since he feels strongly we should spend on ourselves an not him (as we grew up he alrways gave the eat parts of the meals to us).
My mom on the other hand always have get something for her on all the holidays particularly motherday and her bday. And she likes expensive things like perfume. That said shes alway giving as well from foods and gifts from out of town or when she cooks or recieves bulk gifts. So it works out.
Children do not owe their parents anything. Parents decide to become parents and they accept whatever comes with it. That includes giving the child a good childhood.
Hilarious the speed he ended that call Lol
A substitute teacher can work whenever they want. There is no "retirement" for that. It's simply not working.
Being a substitute teacher in his fifties is weird. That is the sort of thing that a new teacher starting out would be doing to get experience.
Can I adopt this kid after he pays off his parents mortgage?
Glad we weren’t playing Dave Bingo for this call - I totally would have had “Dr. Henry Cloud” as the center space.
His parents should be ashame of themselves
yes to the last part dave! 🙏 i hear people say honor your mother and father and they twist it to mean do whatever they say. (i think that may be mostly fake christians or people pretending to be) and what i believe honor your mother and father to be is , my mother is a drug addict and while she didn't raise me or do anything besides give birth to me i will always say hi how are you doing and be polite to her and if she called me saying hey i really need something to eat i would buy her dinner (NOT give her money buy her physical food) but also she does drugs with my younger brother. my younger brother accepts that and that is obviously NOT what God wants. the best way for me to honor my mother and father is by being a good christian woman taking care of my family and doing well in life. i would never be mean or rude to her and if i was able to help her i totally would. and if in 30 years down the line she needed someone to live with and she WASNT doing drugs i would let her live with me and help her. definitely will not allow drug addiction in my home but i would help her in any way i could
He is such a good son!!! Wow, I think he is a good kid for real!!
It's called guilt,Im loving it
He's totally brainwashed by a couple of narcissists who are shamelessly exploiting him.
If they truly have no money, they dont need to be going and buying a $500,000 house in cash. They need to be buying a $200,000-300,000 condo, or less if possible, and investing the rest to supplement their income some.
Lmbo He called in about interest rates and Dave got all in his Kool-Aid😂
Just because your parents did their job in raising you does not mean you own them later in life. They had you, it's their job to raise you. So you can live your life as a responsible adult, not to be their retirement plan.
it's cultural. I am doing the same, and the pride and satisfaction that come from helping parents in their old age are absolutely tangible. There are billions of ways to spend money in this world and spending it on my own parents ranks easily top 3.
I personally think it is very irresponsible for parents to put this kind of weight on children at the start of their adult lives.
Agreed don’t give in to a guilt trip !!
A 29yr old paying the morgage
for a 55yr old?
Wow. His parents must be ancient.
"And single, I take it..". - accurate burn.
I sacrificed everything. My health, future, everything to serve others. I learned serve others but take care of yourself and don't sacrifice your health and well-being for others who don't value you