Thrs a man asking me to whtsapp him if want to manifest anythg i want. i thgt it you who recommended. So out of curiosity i texted him. He s frm Nigeria. Seems like a scam. Please be alert of this!
The more women expect from you, the more you need to manage those expectations. However, your time, energy, and money are finite resources that can't be given out freely. Therefore, mastering the art of saying "no" to women is crucial.
It's such a pathetic game people play. Relationships shouldn't be difficult but people make them. If you're too nice, if you're too mean. If you give too much attention. If you don't give enough attention. If you're close. If you're distant. It's like Goldie Locks. So sad what people have come too.
I agree ☝️ society has over complicated one of the most natural things. Humans meeting, bonding and interacting with each other. Sounds so easy, feels so difficult (at times) x
I have a feeling that's what my GF is trying to do. I video called her on my break at work abd she didn't answer...abd she also didn't even text me a goodnight. When I called her out on it she replied.."You'll Survive" lol
@@sirtype-alot3391well truth be told good morning and goodnight text aren’t needed, Maybe every now and then. But definitely not in the beginning of the relationship
Guys, if someone you are truly being kind, loving , caring and open to in a healthy manner and they take this as you being " too much" . This individual is not your person. They are not for you. Move on.
and when we move on and focus on our growth that person comeback out of the blue and feeling that they lose you, if that happen and you still want them, make a deal/boundaries if not this gonna be a repetitive cycle
I would usually say before i sleep " I'm claiming back my energy now, from other people, places and situations I gave my attention to, I am now complete"
- Bring the ENERGY back to yourself, stop focusing on them - Give them space - Don’t seek external validation - Just let go, if they don’t choose you - It’s their stuff, not yours - Stop abandoning yourself
The quickest way to get someone's attention is to remove yours. I do not chase, I attract. What belongs to me will come to me without hardship and without pain. What I attract will stay with me. Always pursue, but do it in a frame of being cool, calm and collected. Never ever chase! Never! Avoid desperation, just patiently wait for results. She already knows how you feel, she's not going anywhere, relax.
What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have 2 lil kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids so much and always have to know how they are
@@Prince_Unknown1 When kids are involved, a former wife, the economy etc... the situation is of course different compared to the courting stage. My comment was aimed for the stage before it turns into a full fledged relationship, kids, a house, car payments, house loans, a joint economy and everything else. In this circumstance you must have contact to fix all these things. But even then, as soon as possible detach from your ex and heal, heal, heal....
@@Prince_Unknown1 Good luck and always remember to stay calm and collected, even if you are provoked or irritated by your former wife. Calmness will get you so much farther and solve things for the better compared to constant anger, fury, etc...
So its basically dont chase someone who doesnt value you, instead just sorround yourself with people who appreciate, need you and make you feel worthy because of that value you have.
If they're pulling away, I'll let them go. I don't have the energy to do anything about it. If they come back I'm going to say "no". I don't have time for mind games. I want to be with someone who is consistent. Been married for over 20 years.
Yes. Doing that will wear you out, eat you alive and use you up. Let them GO and as you said don’t take them back. If you take them back they will put you through it again.
I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. Especially being as young as a child. Those feelings are so confusing... Even as an adult now. I hope things are getting better for you.
@@BellaStarr8737 bless your heart....I honestly think the damage has been done,but what I do know is make the most of what and who you have in your life,and I'm grateful for all the good people that surround me. I've just started listening to people like Aaron,and I can truly say that it has helped me quite a bit 💜
I know exactly what you mean. I had abandonment issue as a child. For about 4 years now, I've been learning to let go of my past, forgiving my parents, everybody in my past and myself. This has helped me with my self esteem and being able to walk away from people and things that don't serve me because I was addicted to toxic people and situations; not anymore.
If someone doesn’t want you just walk away. Cry. Heart pain just do whatever u want to grieve. Then time will heal us. Dun chase for someone who doesn’t belong to you.
Let me share with you my experience with this because it works, but only in certain ways. Let them miss you, do no contact, all those good things. But the MOST IMPORTANT THING. Work on the things YOU have issues with. Put work and time into yourself so intentionally that you literally start to become the version of yourself you always were supposed to be. They can miss you and may want to eventually come back, but ultimately if you put no effort into yourself and your own shortcomings with YOURSELF, you will not be able to fix the relationship
I've done that and I'm a different person and became a far better man but doesn't seem like she'll ever give me a second chance. Life just seems empty without her
What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids and always have to know how they are
@@Prince_Unknown1Pray for you brother tough times, cant believe time is changing and she is not with me now. I will try this if its gonna work but im gonna work abroad in october 18, and i wanna see her for one last time before i live,
Chose people who chose you, if they wanna go the door is open, they wanna stay and they show them worth the we give a chance🧘🏻♀️🕯️✨💕 this is my energy right now🧬
Man this worked like magic. I understood the concept of giving and having space for myself. And after one month that person started a conversation with me and fixed everything herself. Thanks Aaron.😊
there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal
But you have to keep in mind that they may end up not missing you but at least you no longer have to put that energy into something that will end up draining you. You do feel a shift in a person’s energy towards you. Everything mentioned makes so much sense.
My girlfriend actually called me out on this behavior, but what was special about her is that she didn't leave me or call me pathetic, needy, or a loser she understood why I'm this way (she's getting a degree in psychology) and helped me through it. Now I'm a lot better about this and feel way better
Even in your darkest moments, you are feeling something. If you're not feeling, you're simply just existing, and that isn't what living should be about.
Great ! When i say i fear death because i fear no existing i rather even hell ‘cause that way i still exist , I got to deatach from that fear , embrace the nothing “Osho “ would say
@@jeoe88 That's interesting because I'm the opposite. The idea of hell or even eternity in general freaks me out so bad. But if I knew that I would just stop existing after I die I would be relieved. Because if you don't exist then you can't feel pain, or boredom, or anything.
Really needed to hear this. I have abandoned myself for some time now, and I need to give myself all the love I’ve been wanting to give someone else. Thank you for this video man ✊🏼🖤
Just recently realized this with a girl I've liked. Started getting self conscious and nervous. "I have to make sure this works with her, don't mess this up" constantly walking on eggshells to make sure I don't make myself look like a fool around her. This extreme self consciousness was ultimately doing more damage than helping, and I ended up having a wonderful epiphany the other night: If I can't just be comfortable and be myself with this girl then this is never going to work, and even more so, she won't feel comfortable with me either. And even more so, maybe she and I just aren't a match after all. That was such a moment of clarity for me and things are so much better now. Just. Let. Go. If it doesn't work out with whoever you like, then it wasn't meant to be.
Maturity is when you realize ur self worth and move on. Cause you might have tried 100% to save ur love for them but still if u feel ignored or unloved by them, just step back and give importance to urself, be patient and let the right person recognize ur true love. All is well👍☺
I had a one sided love. I truly loved him. But he said he had no such feelings over me. I can't take off my love for him. But I am trying. Hope one day I will become free from this. ☺
They feel uncomfortable because they are worried that you might ask them to take responsibility for their choices. Let’s make sure we all bend over backwards and give them all a perfect pain free existence since they made such an effort to protect our feelings!
I was doing that mistake. I wasn't pursuing him physically but I was doing it energetically :( now I'm learning how to go back to my feminine energy ☯️
Same 😓. Eventhough I didn't text him, I was always thinking about why he hasn't texted yet eventhough he said he will and it turned out he didn't write at all.. Now I feel kinda pissed and mad about the whole situation what makes me let the whole situation and my attachment go so much easier.. I think letting go is also a lot about being real to yourself and feel emotions.. i think it's an act of selflove and selfworth to be sad or angry about things.. the problem is I tend to forbid myself to feel them and that makes it even harder..
@@annehedonia156, my parents did, so did many other parents neglect and abuse their kids. There's nothing "sociopathic" about severing ties with toxic people, be they family or otherwise.
It all comes down to the law of supply and demand. The more love and attention you give to someone, the less valuable the response or reaction you will receive back
COMMUNICATION! It’s ultimately the key to everything. You can’t go by week after week staying silent with your partner. Express yourself on a daily basis before you meet someone and when you do find your person you will already be good at expressing your love and feelings with them. You will gain respect from your partner and they will know exactly how you feel about them and won’t have to assume anything that may be incorrect. My gf just broke up with me and I’ve already learned that was the main reason it happened. I didn’t express myself and my feelings of the future (even the things that bothered me) and so she assumed that I didn’t care enough about her to move forward with her. I was stuck in my own head and it got in the way and crumbled the relationship over time. Practice your love, become comfortable with it and you will find someone that enjoys you for who you are ❤
I AGREE with you!COMMUNICATION is the ultimate key in everything!I feel sorry for what you’ve been through but I’m pretty sure you’ll gonna meet someone who is the perfect and right person for you!😊
I agree, no one should need validation from me because they won't play games.i love communication, honesty and clarity.this push pull thing is bollacks. If I have to pull away, they weren't worth it
I believe what he is saying here in the video is, yes, communicate, but from place whereby you're centred in yourself, not out of a place of insecurity. I too am going through what you're going through, but for slightly different reasons. Take care.
This is exactly what I want to tell my partner. I wanted to be close to him and trying to but it feels like there's a thick wall between us that i cant break.. and then i get thought of as not supportive enough, or flirting with other guys (im not)..
I’m going through this right now. I’m choosing someone who isn’t choosing me, so I’m going to follow your advice and let them go. I absolutely act as you have outlined and this is a light switch moment of realization of how toxic and backwards my self-hate is from childhood abuse. I will fix myself for me so I can learn to love myself and stop abandoning my self-worth.
wow.. i cried... dude.. i need these words to slap on my face... "Let Go" is always hard on my part especially when you build this special feelings towards that person.. but what you said is true.. very true.. i just need this strength... i know my worth.. i believe someday i will the right person for me..
I just made that mistake a while ago. The absurd part is that I knew that i'm doing a mistake but I was really desperate and needy, I'll gladly take a time machine now to fix things but this is not realistic. Instead I'll learn from my mistake to be a better man for the next time. Thank you Aaron, I really needed that video
Been binge watching watching your videos and meditating and trying to re-balance my energy like crazy since me and my girlfriend have been in a breakup/break of sorts over the last week. Since the night we broke it off we haven’t talked and I feel honestly way more amazing than I did that day bc I’m genuinely trying to focus all of my codependent energy back to myself and I’m learning a lot about this. Still hasn’t deleted anything of us or changed any profile pics. I think genuine space is making her realize things. It is for me too. Not even sure how I FEEL anymore! Haha. But I’m moving forward day by day and that’s all that matters So thank you for your videos! I would be a MESS right now without you man. Thank YOU
@@villanellesdyke I am doing alright. I was really upset because I found out she was lying and cheating on me towards the end of our relationship through friends of friends… and we actually have a class together at university. But, I’m dealing with it fine. I have no resentment towards her, and I don’t care to have her back in my life romantically. I’m solely focused on myself, all humans have flaws, and it’s harder on the self to harbor hatred, than it is to love and forgive. Remember that
@@austin6041 oh wow im sorry for hearing this ending. And damn you got strength my friend! Definitely doing the right thing to shift your energy and attention back on yourself, im trying to do the same as well. So many people are on this journey with you!
If you want somebody so bad that you can't be happy without them don't think that you can't forget about them. Stay busy maybe smoke weed and don't let yourself think about them and within a month they are not that big of a deal 🤙✌️💪
This is some good stuff. It's important to remember that, as much as we want to, we can't make someone stay. We can't change the direction another person wants to go. The best thing to do is to accept that first, and then go from there depending on the situation. But it all comes down to being emotionally stable and finding happiness within yourself.
I'm in my own frame and honestly thanks you, Aaron. It has changed my life. Even if people haven't come back, I've learnt to gather myself and feel good about myself. That's what matters the most
My friend group was very distant towards me in 2022 (unless they needed /wanted something from me). I would try to engage with them one on one thinking if I performed random kind gestures for each of them that things would change, but they continued taking my presence for granted and prioritizing each other while ignoring me. I left the group in Fall 2022 and distanced myself from them for months, after which they began telling me how the group hasn't been the same without me, inviting me to parties (that i knew I'd be ignored at) , and asking when they (as a group) would see me again. They all separately invited me to a New Year's Eve party that I politely yet instantly declined. It's strange that when I stopped wanting their friendship they made genuine effort to get me back in their lives , but when I was actively in their lives they barely noticed (again unless I was providing something for them).
@@LovelyMel99 I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you might’ve been the scapegoat of the group. There are some groups that just like to ignore people and shun them because it makes them feel powerful. Something about you must make them feel “less than“ so they have to put you in your place when the reality is you’re just a good and kind soul who mirrored back more than likely all the things that they are not and that made them feel some kind of negative way and they responded by treating you how they felt. Good to move away from them. Sounds like they are jealous.
And absolutely EVERYTHING you say it’s beyond true especially when you mention childhood trauma and why we choose people that they don’t choose you. I was raised without my parents since 4 years old and now I know the many why’s of my neediness to codependent. You have truly liberated decades of negative feelings of feeling worthless and I am 100% certain the Universe will send me the right and healthy relation that I have been missing in my whole life. God bless you my friend. You have done an impossible healing to myself and I cannot thank you enough for it !!!!!
Do that frame technique he's talking about! It works ❤ I'm only in the beginning stages of making these changes and all of this is truly helpful. No nonsense approach to knowing, valuing and truly loving yourself. Keep going, there's a tremendous prize waiting for you!!! And he's right, you ARE worthy AF and deserving of all of that love you've been putting out. Chose yourself
And also like you’ve said in other videos when you’re doing this process you’re not doing it to get someone potentially back (manipulating situation) but doing it just for you to get “you” back 🎉❤
What you said hits me hard. True. You're right. Their pulling away has nothing to do with my worth. If they want me, they will come back. If not, that's still fine. I don't know if there is really someone better out there among 8 billion people, someone who is meant for me, someone who is willing to stay no matter what but ... I will keep my hope and faith. Thank you for making this video. I do feel like it links to some moments in the past when I felt neglected and ... I did have to prove myself to receive care and attention. I will care about myself now. It's hard to do because I have never really cared about myself. Gonna try my best. Just feel mentally and emotionally drained, resent and all the negative emotions ... This is gonna be a long journey for me ...
Good luck for you. It is pain full the journey to meet/heal ourself but it is worthy. It is more painful to realize we've spent precious time of our life trying to fix other people in our life who doesn't chose us. Negligencing ourself is insane. Choose you anyway ❤️
@@carlauchoaknoll Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, learned the lesson the hard way sadly. Just want to have someone reciprocating my feelings but oh well, what will be will be I guess.
I know people usually watch these videos and say that they needed to hear this or the person reported their life 1000% accurately! But duuude, this is me! For the 1st time, I relate 100000% to a video like this! It’s like you’re talking about me specifically and directly! Daaamn! Thanks!
I rarely comment anything on TH-cam, but this time I just have to speak up. Seriously, there's A LOT of bullshit tutorials out there, how to behave, what to do, but none of them touches the core of the problem, which in this case is childhood trauma. I love how you have compassionate approach to this topic. "It's not your fault", that hit me hard. The magic happens, when you start to love yourself, and convince yourself that it is NOT your fault that you've been abandoned. Thank you Aaron, for this lifechanging video.
Wow, this is all so true. I always give people physical space but had been sending healing thoughts / energy to my TF when feeling their sadness instead of focusing on myself first. Thank you so much for shining a light on this ego obstacle to overcome. You're definitely a lightworker, can see it in your eyes. Thank you, beautiful soul; peace.
Aaron you've truly changed my life. The last 6 months i've listened to your podcasts/all your videos, found your videos at a perfect time because I was the one chasing. You really changed my whole mindset and got me on a path to choose myself, and give others the advice i've learned from you too! Keep making videos and inspiring us all to realize our worth!!
thank you for this video, i've been thinking about this girl that has been pulling away from me and i could't think straight because she made me feel the emotions i think i've never felt. I was scared of letting go, thinking i won't be feeling those things without her, but this video is a confirmation of what i've been thinking of for the last few days. Life goes on, if she doesn't come back i will still have myself
It is so true. It's irony of how it works. I gained a lot of confidence going to therapy, and it's changed my view on everything and that has changed my attitude and the way people look at me. I wish I went to therapy so many years before. I wish everyone would go and then it would be a world 10 times better cause everyone would be so mature and in control of themselves ❣️👌🏼
I have chosen myself 🙋🏻♀️😁💯.....❤️🙌 I AM ENOUGH, MORE THAN ENOUGH, INDEED! I'm re-investing my energy into myself and letting go. THANK YOU AARON for imparting your knowledge with us 😁🙋🏻♀️
It’s actually true! Thank you very much for expanding on the subject taking into consideration the energy, I was wondering why I was feeling like crap. The moment I stopped trying to pull her back with my thoughts, it suddenly my energy came back to me and felt very at ease and calm. I will definitely stop thinking about her and yes, I had a problem with abandonment in my childhood and finished a codependent relationship. Finally I and making my way to total emotional healing. You nailed it 👍🏻
I want to be with someone who doesn’t play game and can act their age. Honesty and simplicity are so underrated. It’s better to have boring peaceful days with your partner than a cycle of highs and lows which makes you miserable in the long run.
I learned this late in life, but at age 60, I am living this. I do not chase. I stand firm in my own care and power now It's fantastic! I am a Narcissist-Free Zone now!
Thanks for this, it helps! I gave her space and now she's reaching out to me. I'm focusing on myself now though and will reach out more when I get stuff done
Brooo!!! Ur better than therapists or psychologists!! I love this content!! I did come here and now I’m thinking I am choosing a person that’s not choosing me- Real Talk!!! Wow 🤯
I needed this today. My wife of 25 years is separating from me and getting her own place and I been to dependent on her and needy, this stops now, I’m a good person and will focus this energy on myself
@@GUITARTIME2024 we talk daily, try to do something together once a week, I know she’s out there partying and sleeping around but my focus has been on myself. I lost 70lbs since this post several months ago and strive to be the best version of myself I can be. Maybe someday she will see that and want to work things out, but if not i truly hope she finds what she’s looking for in this life. I’m gonna wait 6 more months which will be a year and if there’s no change I will file for divorce.
So true. I just emerged last year after 14 years of learning to love being single. At first i thought i might meet someone at my new Latin dance class, and no one paid any attention. Then i fell in love with ALL the men and decided it was better being single. Suddenly a flurry of them asked for my number and two came to my place at New Year. It's crazy!
the "let them figure it out themselves" stuck with me. thank you. I am acting on my self worth now because I don't deserve what's been going on. but this phrase is what I needed to hear today. thanks.
Aaron I don’t know you, but this video really made me feel a lot better about my situation- and I just wanted to truly say thank you. This helped a lot, I’m thinking about things in a more positive light and I appreciate you so much for making this one. Have a great life, cheers mate!
Exactly, They’re out living their life, and we are glued to our phone waiting for a text, like our life depends on it, and like Aaron said , always looking, will keep us in the state of always looking! Just let people live their life, and what’s meant for you will come. So yes it’s learning to live , without the constant gratification. Which so many of us crave, but it’s because of something much deeper. Dont be so needy , is the biggest thing I’ve learned through out my life.
Sir...I was not prepared to be called out like this so early in the morning. Nothing like childhood abandonment with your morning coffee. I've learned that being lovable and being loved is actually the easy part. It's being worthy for them to stay; people leave even if you're the best thing that's ever happened to them. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that, not just partners either. NO ONE has ever gone out of their way to keep me around, without me having to do or be something for them in return/first. Never just bec they want me; not what I can do for them. I appreciate your video.
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Cheers brother I just got out of jail and lost my partner. You are a real blessing thankyou
Please get the superheart on the top bar so people can give. There's a video showing how to do it if you don't know how. Thnx
Thrs a man asking me to whtsapp him if want to manifest anythg i want. i thgt it you who recommended. So out of curiosity i texted him. He s frm Nigeria. Seems like a scam. Please be alert of this!
@@airakhan7979 yeah it's pretty obvious hey
@@crusoebower3391 ya.
“Don’t afraid of losing someone, afraid of losing yourself.”
Exactly 💯 💯 🎯
Real talk ever listen after ages 🔥
Finally you remain totally alone. Simple.
The more women expect from you, the more you need to manage those expectations. However, your time, energy, and money are finite resources that can't be given out freely. Therefore, mastering the art of saying "no" to women is crucial.
Well I'm a year late now I'm finding my way back home to me!
It's such a pathetic game people play. Relationships shouldn't be difficult but people make them. If you're too nice, if you're too mean. If you give too much attention. If you don't give enough attention. If you're close. If you're distant. It's like Goldie Locks. So sad what people have come too.
I agree ☝️ society has over complicated one of the most natural things. Humans meeting, bonding and interacting with each other. Sounds so easy, feels so difficult (at times) x
Agreed. It's pathetic to be honest
This ❤
True. Im an honest man but being honest women say im being dramatic. So you want me to lie. 😅
I agree
When a person ignores you, they are teaching you how to live without them.
Very nice thank you
I have a feeling that's what my GF is trying to do. I video called her on my break at work abd she didn't answer...abd she also didn't even text me a goodnight. When I called her out on it she replied.."You'll Survive" lol
I know it's quite cringey but I am your 200th like 😂.. congratulations 🎉
i heard this quote like 15 years ago... and its so true. so damn true...
@@sirtype-alot3391well truth be told good morning and goodnight text aren’t needed, Maybe every now and then. But definitely not in the beginning of the relationship
Guys, if someone you are truly being kind, loving , caring and open to in a healthy manner and they take this as you being " too much" . This individual is not your person. They are not for you. Move on.
and when we move on and focus on our growth that person comeback out of the blue and feeling that they lose you, if that happen and you still want them, make a deal/boundaries if not this gonna be a repetitive cycle
I would usually say before i sleep " I'm claiming back my energy now, from other people, places and situations I gave my attention to, I am now complete"
Life changing thought and I intend to start utilizing this immediately.
Good
I am using this, thank you.
❤ thank you for this advice!
I like that.I will use that...Thankyou
- Bring the ENERGY back to yourself, stop focusing on them
- Give them space
- Don’t seek external validation
- Just let go, if they don’t choose you
- It’s their stuff, not yours
- Stop abandoning yourself
👍💯
Love it
“Stop abandoning yourself” I needed to hear this! ❤
@@becky0710 same here.
Stop abandoning yourself 💕
The quickest way to get someone's attention is to remove yours. I do not chase, I attract. What belongs to me will come to me without hardship and without pain. What I attract will stay with me. Always pursue, but do it in a frame of being cool, calm and collected. Never ever chase! Never! Avoid desperation, just patiently wait for results. She already knows how you feel, she's not going anywhere, relax.
Great advice!
What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have 2 lil kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids so much and always have to know how they are
@@Prince_Unknown1 When kids are involved, a former wife, the economy etc... the situation is of course different compared to the courting stage. My comment was aimed for the stage before it turns into a full fledged relationship, kids, a house, car payments, house loans, a joint economy and everything else. In this circumstance you must have contact to fix all these things. But even then, as soon as possible detach from your ex and heal, heal, heal....
@@robert4you thanks
@@Prince_Unknown1 Good luck and always remember to stay calm and collected, even if you are provoked or irritated by your former wife. Calmness will get you so much farther and solve things for the better compared to constant anger, fury, etc...
"and as you start choosing yourself, you then make a space for someone that can actually choose you"
❤❤❤
Do you have a tip jar? ❤️❤️❤️Because you are serving! 🥰🥰🥰
the one choosing me is fat ugly...
what should i do?
YESSSSS! But we must choose our self first, since everyone we meet is a mirror , they’ll only choose you, if you choose your self first💞🕊️
"Stop abandoning yourself", that's powerful, thank you
10:20
can you explain "Stop abandoning yourself" in the other meaning? becuz english is not my mother tounge..
YES!
So its basically dont chase someone who doesnt value you, instead just sorround yourself with people who appreciate, need you and make you feel worthy because of that value you have.
"Are you choosing people who are not choosing you"
that's DEEP 👌🏾
😂
You pull away! I pull away! Simple! No chase here✌🏾✌🏾
Exactly
If they're pulling away, I'll let them go. I don't have the energy to do anything about it. If they come back I'm going to say "no". I don't have time for mind games. I want to be with someone who is consistent. Been married for over 20 years.
Yes. Doing that will wear you out, eat you alive and use you up. Let them GO and as you said don’t take them back. If you take them back they will put you through it again.
Smart! Why bother chasing, pulling. All this energy can be used on yourself!
Going through this now, im not chasing!
Amazing how this wasn't a problem until texting became the dominant form of communication.
Ive struggled with relationships and now i prefer to be alone solitude is better than toxicity
Unless you have nothing to give
I was unwanted and abused as a kid. You hit the nail on the head....when I'm left feeling unwanted in this adult life, it reminds me of being young.
I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. Especially being as young as a child. Those feelings are so confusing... Even as an adult now. I hope things are getting better for you.
Mee too, it really sucks.
@@BellaStarr8737 bless your heart....I honestly think the damage has been done,but what I do know is make the most of what and who you have in your life,and I'm grateful for all the good people that surround me. I've just started listening to people like Aaron,and I can truly say that it has helped me quite a bit 💜
I know exactly what you mean. I had abandonment issue as a child. For about 4 years now, I've been learning to let go of my past, forgiving my parents, everybody in my past and myself. This has helped me with my self esteem and being able to walk away from people and things that don't serve me because I was addicted to toxic people and situations; not anymore.
Me too
Choose yourself. Choose people who choose you.
Wrong…choose each other
“ it’s just fighting to avoid abandonment” … ouch… so true
Me! For sure.
This is so true. You can actually feel them pulling away from you even when you are not in their presence.
"I'm not good enough, people don't choose me."
Man, that struck a nerve in my soul. That sentence encapsulates so much of my younger years.
If someone doesn’t want you just walk away. Cry. Heart pain just do whatever u want to grieve. Then time will heal us. Dun chase for someone who doesn’t belong to you.
Let me share with you my experience with this because it works, but only in certain ways. Let them miss you, do no contact, all those good things. But the MOST IMPORTANT THING. Work on the things YOU have issues with. Put work and time into yourself so intentionally that you literally start to become the version of yourself you always were supposed to be. They can miss you and may want to eventually come back, but ultimately if you put no effort into yourself and your own shortcomings with YOURSELF, you will not be able to fix the relationship
This im doing and will get my shortcomings sorted in JESUS NAME
I've done that and I'm a different person and became a far better man but doesn't seem like she'll ever give me a second chance. Life just seems empty without her
What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids and always have to know how they are
@@Prince_Unknown1Pray for you brother tough times, cant believe time is changing and she is not with me now. I will try this if its gonna work but im gonna work abroad in october 18, and i wanna see her for one last time before i live,
i agree to this
Chose people who chose you, if they wanna go the door is open, they wanna stay and they show them worth the we give a chance🧘🏻♀️🕯️✨💕 this is my energy right now🧬
Wtf are u talking about
Honestly 💯🔥
😮 amazing comment I like it
Man this worked like magic. I understood the concept of giving and having space for myself. And after one month that person started a conversation with me and fixed everything herself. Thanks Aaron.😊
So glad everything work out good for you may you guys still be happy
there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal
bot
But you have to keep in mind that they may end up not missing you but at least you no longer have to put that energy into something that will end up draining you. You do feel a shift in a person’s energy towards you. Everything mentioned makes so much sense.
They usually don't miss you. People pull back for a reason
True...mine didn't miss me..coz he was already cheating @@naimasophie
My girlfriend actually called me out on this behavior, but what was special about her is that she didn't leave me or call me pathetic, needy, or a loser she understood why I'm this way (she's getting a degree in psychology) and helped me through it. Now I'm a lot better about this and feel way better
Your gf is a keeper
Even in your darkest moments, you are feeling something. If you're not feeling, you're simply just existing, and that isn't what living should be about.
Realest thing to remember
Great ! When i say i fear death because i fear no existing i rather even hell ‘cause that way i still exist ,
I got to deatach from that fear , embrace the nothing “Osho “ would say
@@jeoe88 That's interesting because I'm the opposite. The idea of hell or even eternity in general freaks me out so bad. But if I knew that I would just stop existing after I die I would be relieved. Because if you don't exist then you can't feel pain, or boredom, or anything.
"As you're choosing yourself you're making space for someone who can actually choose you". Good point.
Really needed to hear this. I have abandoned myself for some time now, and I need to give myself all the love I’ve been wanting to give someone else. Thank you for this video man ✊🏼🖤
Just recently realized this with a girl I've liked. Started getting self conscious and nervous. "I have to make sure this works with her, don't mess this up" constantly walking on eggshells to make sure I don't make myself look like a fool around her. This extreme self consciousness was ultimately doing more damage than helping, and I ended up having a wonderful epiphany the other night: If I can't just be comfortable and be myself with this girl then this is never going to work, and even more so, she won't feel comfortable with me either. And even more so, maybe she and I just aren't a match after all. That was such a moment of clarity for me and things are so much better now. Just. Let. Go. If it doesn't work out with whoever you like, then it wasn't meant to be.
same story bro
Ja
Communication, you have = Do it ..remove your mask slowly
This is very true!
Yes we can't control everything, only our actions
“It wasn’t your fault” - that hit me.
every time I hear the part I feel like crying...every time . BIG HUGS
I understood so many things when he said that. Childhood trauma unresolved. Almost started crying.
Reminded me of Goodwill Hunting!!!
Maturity is when you realize ur self worth and move on. Cause you might have tried 100% to save ur love for them but still if u feel ignored or unloved by them, just step back and give importance to urself, be patient and let the right person recognize ur true love. All is well👍☺
I had a one sided love. I truly loved him. But he said he had no such feelings over me. I can't take off my love for him. But I am trying. Hope one day I will become free from this. ☺
@@anushreekm8507 have you moved on ??
@@brocklesnar3603 I am trying day by day...u know it takes time
@@anushreekm8507 same here , my crush is also ignoring me , it feels really sad
@@brocklesnar3603 it's ok..it takes time..U don't expect ur crush to love u back...
Too helpful !! Value yourself, what is yours will come back to you, if it didn't it was never yours.. don't loose yourself..
They feel uncomfortable because they are worried that you might ask them to take responsibility for their choices. Let’s make sure we all bend over backwards and give them all a perfect pain free existence since they made such an effort to protect our feelings!
I was doing that mistake. I wasn't pursuing him physically but I was doing it energetically :( now I'm learning how to go back to my feminine energy ☯️
Same 😓. Eventhough I didn't text him, I was always thinking about why he hasn't texted yet eventhough he said he will and it turned out he didn't write at all.. Now I feel kinda pissed and mad about the whole situation what makes me let the whole situation and my attachment go so much easier.. I think letting go is also a lot about being real to yourself and feel emotions.. i think it's an act of selflove and selfworth to be sad or angry about things.. the problem is I tend to forbid myself to feel them and that makes it even harder..
How do you go back to your feminine energy
And?
@@lolelyn1 I got a little story from a girl at the gym , lmk maybe you can give some advice
Yes. Don’t even think about them. If you do, they will feel it.
The only person you should always be 100% available to is yourself.
Take care of yourself first and foremost, everyone is expendable.
Word!
Um, no. Parents of children can't do this, wtf. Everyone is expendable is a sociopathic stance.
@@annehedonia156, my parents did, so did many other parents neglect and abuse their kids.
There's nothing "sociopathic" about severing ties with toxic people, be they family or otherwise.
It all comes down to the law of supply and demand. The more love and attention you give to someone, the less valuable the response or reaction you will receive back
COMMUNICATION! It’s ultimately the key to everything. You can’t go by week after week staying silent with your partner. Express yourself on a daily basis before you meet someone and when you do find your person you will already be good at expressing your love and feelings with them. You will gain respect from your partner and they will know exactly how you feel about them and won’t have to assume anything that may be incorrect. My gf just broke up with me and I’ve already learned that was the main reason it happened. I didn’t express myself and my feelings of the future (even the things that bothered me) and so she assumed that I didn’t care enough about her to move forward with her. I was stuck in my own head and it got in the way and crumbled the relationship over time. Practice your love, become comfortable with it and you will find someone that enjoys you for who you are ❤
I AGREE with you!COMMUNICATION is the ultimate key in everything!I feel sorry for what you’ve been through but I’m pretty sure you’ll gonna meet someone who is the perfect and right person for you!😊
I agree, no one should need validation from me because they won't play games.i love communication, honesty and clarity.this push pull thing is bollacks. If I have to pull away, they weren't worth it
Love communication. Just wish I had found this video earlier this year
I believe what he is saying here in the video is, yes, communicate, but from place whereby you're centred in yourself, not out of a place of insecurity. I too am going through what you're going through, but for slightly different reasons. Take care.
This is exactly what I want to tell my partner. I wanted to be close to him and trying to but it feels like there's a thick wall between us that i cant break.. and then i get thought of as not supportive enough, or flirting with other guys (im not)..
Amazing metaphors and analogies
100% agree
I’m going through this right now. I’m choosing someone who isn’t choosing me, so I’m going to follow your advice and let them go.
I absolutely act as you have outlined and this is a light switch moment of realization of how toxic and backwards my self-hate is from childhood abuse. I will fix myself for me so I can learn to love myself and stop abandoning my self-worth.
How did it go for you ?
Ikr same going through it too
"I choose you".
"I choose Myself".
Feels great. Thanks, man.
Also, "it's not your fault" was on point.
Pure Gold, my Beautiful Brother.
wow.. i cried... dude.. i need these words to slap on my face... "Let Go" is always hard on my part especially when you build this special feelings towards that person.. but what you said is true.. very true.. i just need this strength... i know my worth.. i believe someday i will the right person for me..
After a full month of one sided story, I decided to let go. I needed to hear that message today.
Even if they never come back i learnt something here.
I just made that mistake a while ago. The absurd part is that I knew that i'm doing a mistake but I was really desperate and needy, I'll gladly take a time machine now to fix things but this is not realistic. Instead I'll learn from my mistake to be a better man for the next time. Thank you Aaron, I really needed that video
Same here I screwed up so bad
Been binge watching watching your videos and meditating and trying to re-balance my energy like crazy since me and my girlfriend have been in a breakup/break of sorts over the last week. Since the night we broke it off we haven’t talked and I feel honestly way more amazing than I did that day bc I’m genuinely trying to focus all of my codependent energy back to myself and I’m learning a lot about this. Still hasn’t deleted anything of us or changed any profile pics. I think genuine space is making her realize things. It is for me too. Not even sure how I FEEL anymore! Haha. But I’m moving forward day by day and that’s all that matters
So thank you for your videos! I would be a MESS right now without you man. Thank YOU
How are you now?
Curiously asking, how are you doing now?
@@villanellesdyke I am doing alright. I was really upset because I found out she was lying and cheating on me towards the end of our relationship through friends of friends… and we actually have a class together at university. But, I’m dealing with it fine. I have no resentment towards her, and I don’t care to have her back in my life romantically. I’m solely focused on myself, all humans have flaws, and it’s harder on the self to harbor hatred, than it is to love and forgive. Remember that
@@villanellesdyke I am still meditating daily and watching videos daily. All helps.
@@austin6041 oh wow im sorry for hearing this ending. And damn you got strength my friend! Definitely doing the right thing to shift your energy and attention back on yourself, im trying to do the same as well. So many people are on this journey with you!
If you want somebody so bad that you can't be happy without them don't think that you can't forget about them. Stay busy maybe smoke weed and don't let yourself think about them and within a month they are not that big of a deal 🤙✌️💪
Smoke crack
Facts
Weed is key 🔑
Your should find happiness inside you...not in external validation. Cuz happiness from external validation is always conditional.
The moment he said "if your parents weren't there, it's NOT YOUR fault!" , my tears ricocheted, i felt a sudden relief from my heart.
This is some good stuff. It's important to remember that, as much as we want to, we can't make someone stay. We can't change the direction another person wants to go. The best thing to do is to accept that first, and then go from there depending on the situation. But it all comes down to being emotionally stable and finding happiness within yourself.
I'm in my own frame and honestly thanks you, Aaron. It has changed my life. Even if people haven't come back, I've learnt to gather myself and feel good about myself. That's what matters the most
It's amazing how true this is. I've learned the hard way as well. It's 100% natural instinct to chase. DON'T CHASE!
My friend group was very distant towards me in 2022 (unless they needed /wanted something from me). I would try to engage with them one on one thinking if I performed random kind gestures for each of them that things would change, but they continued taking my presence for granted and prioritizing each other while ignoring me. I left the group in Fall 2022 and distanced myself from them for months, after which they began telling me how the group hasn't been the same without me, inviting me to parties (that i knew I'd be ignored at) , and asking when they (as a group) would see me again. They all separately invited me to a New Year's Eve party that I politely yet instantly declined. It's strange that when I stopped wanting their friendship they made genuine effort to get me back in their lives , but when I was actively in their lives they barely noticed (again unless I was providing something for them).
glad you see ur worth 💛✨️
It’s crazy but people take your presence for granted well done
Your body knows the correct energetic invite for you. Your people will show up as you continue to honor you. You are worthy!
Fuck them. You now see your worth!
@@LovelyMel99 I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you might’ve been the scapegoat of the group. There are some groups that just like to ignore people and shun them because it makes them feel powerful. Something about you must make them feel “less than“ so they have to put you in your place when the reality is you’re just a good and kind soul who mirrored back more than likely all the things that they are not and that made them feel some kind of negative way and they responded by treating you how they felt. Good to move away from them. Sounds like they are jealous.
And absolutely EVERYTHING you say it’s beyond true especially when you mention childhood trauma and why we choose people that they don’t choose you. I was raised without my parents since 4 years old and now I know the many why’s of my neediness to codependent. You have truly liberated decades of negative feelings of feeling worthless and I am 100% certain the Universe will send me the right and healthy relation that I have been missing in my whole life. God bless you my friend. You have done an impossible healing to myself and I cannot thank you enough for it !!!!!
Do that frame technique he's talking about! It works ❤ I'm only in the beginning stages of making these changes and all of this is truly helpful. No nonsense approach to knowing, valuing and truly loving yourself. Keep going, there's a tremendous prize waiting for you!!!
And he's right, you ARE worthy AF and deserving of all of that love you've been putting out. Chose yourself
And also like you’ve said in other videos when you’re doing this process you’re not doing it to get someone potentially back (manipulating situation) but doing it just for you to get “you” back 🎉❤
I gave my spouse space, and they filled it with everything but me. Now I'm counting the days til our youngest kid is grown and I leave.
What you said hits me hard. True. You're right. Their pulling away has nothing to do with my worth. If they want me, they will come back. If not, that's still fine. I don't know if there is really someone better out there among 8 billion people, someone who is meant for me, someone who is willing to stay no matter what but ... I will keep my hope and faith. Thank you for making this video. I do feel like it links to some moments in the past when I felt neglected and ... I did have to prove myself to receive care and attention. I will care about myself now. It's hard to do because I have never really cared about myself. Gonna try my best. Just feel mentally and emotionally drained, resent and all the negative emotions ... This is gonna be a long journey for me ...
Good luck for you. It is pain full the journey to meet/heal ourself but it is worthy. It is more painful to realize we've spent precious time of our life trying to fix other people in our life who doesn't chose us. Negligencing ourself is insane. Choose you anyway ❤️
@@carlauchoaknoll Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, learned the lesson the hard way sadly. Just want to have someone reciprocating my feelings but oh well, what will be will be I guess.
I know people usually watch these videos and say that they needed to hear this or the person reported their life 1000% accurately!
But duuude, this is me! For the 1st time, I relate 100000% to a video like this! It’s like you’re talking about me specifically and directly! Daaamn! Thanks!
I rarely comment anything on TH-cam, but this time I just have to speak up. Seriously, there's A LOT of bullshit tutorials out there, how to behave, what to do, but none of them touches the core of the problem, which in this case is childhood trauma. I love how you have compassionate approach to this topic. "It's not your fault", that hit me hard. The magic happens, when you start to love yourself, and convince yourself that it is NOT your fault that you've been abandoned. Thank you Aaron, for this lifechanging video.
Wow!!! what an example of pulling back. Self respect, that's my motto for the year. No more investing energy where it isnt worth or of use.
I think this kind of dynamic is immature like can't ppl love each other both ways I just dislike the whole chasing games
Games are played by unhealthy, emotionally stunted fools.
It is what it is, we didn't make the game, we're just the players
This!
YES 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Ikr,, feels like holding back ,,, just because the world is so fucked up around us,, and so in a way the whole world is the culprit
It’s tough when you learn and realize this too late, I needed to hear this.
It's never too late. You're right on time.
This man just said the truest words I ever had the pleasure of hearing. I needed that
This made me cry so much. On my break at work. And I needed it. Thank you.
Be strong mate . Man up
@@lawofthesun I was in a tough spot a year ago. Doin MUCH better now💪
This is something I'm guilty of right now. This video hit me hard. Did not expect to break down! Thank you for making this video.
Me too
Wow, this is all so true. I always give people physical space but had been sending healing thoughts / energy to my TF when feeling their sadness instead of focusing on myself first. Thank you so much for shining a light on this ego obstacle to overcome. You're definitely a lightworker, can see it in your eyes. Thank you, beautiful soul; peace.
Aaron you've truly changed my life. The last 6 months i've listened to your podcasts/all your videos, found your videos at a perfect time because I was the one chasing. You really changed my whole mindset and got me on a path to choose myself, and give others the advice i've learned from you too! Keep making videos and inspiring us all to realize our worth!!
thank you for this video, i've been thinking about this girl that has been pulling away from me and i could't think straight because she made me feel the emotions i think i've never felt. I was scared of letting go, thinking i won't be feeling those things without her, but this video is a confirmation of what i've been thinking of for the last few days. Life goes on, if she doesn't come back i will still have myself
TH-cam knows. Suddenly this video show up right when im having a battle in this toxic friendship of my mine. Thank you, my god Thank you
It is so true. It's irony of how it works.
I gained a lot of confidence going to therapy, and it's changed my view on everything and that has changed my attitude and the way people look at me.
I wish I went to therapy so many years before. I wish everyone would go and then it would be a world 10 times better cause everyone would be so mature and in control of themselves ❣️👌🏼
I have chosen myself 🙋🏻♀️😁💯.....❤️🙌
I AM ENOUGH, MORE THAN ENOUGH, INDEED! I'm re-investing my energy into myself and letting go.
THANK YOU AARON for imparting your knowledge with us 😁🙋🏻♀️
This video reminds me to take a step back and give myself energy back that I don't realize I really need it right now. Thank you so much ❤️
I wasn’t expecting this message to strike reality in me. Even shed a little tear. Great job 👏🏾
You're a savior. It is unfolding to me now. I understand now their pov, it is uncomfortable.
This is exactly what I needed to hear at this very moment! The universe speaks to us in amazing ways. I choose me!!
Dude…this videos are like therapy. I needed this SO F MUCH!
Do more…please!
I have no more energy to save friendships or relationships, if you want to go then just go.
Preach!
And how powerful the words are, more power to everyone who is reading this, you should not be afraid of loosing anyone❤
It’s actually true! Thank you very much for expanding on the subject taking into consideration the energy, I was wondering why I was feeling like crap. The moment I stopped trying to pull her back with my thoughts, it suddenly my energy came back to me and felt very at ease and calm. I will definitely stop thinking about her and yes, I had a problem with abandonment in my childhood and finished a codependent relationship. Finally I and making my way to total emotional healing. You nailed it 👍🏻
I want to be with someone who doesn’t play game and can act their age. Honesty and simplicity are so underrated. It’s better to have boring peaceful days with your partner than a cycle of highs and lows which makes you miserable in the long run.
Ugh was feeling playful but then you said some truth that made me cry 😪
And I started crying when he said does that remind you of something 😃
I learned this late in life, but at age 60, I am living this. I do not chase. I stand firm in my own care and power now
It's fantastic! I am a Narcissist-Free Zone now!
Aaron- you don't know HOW much I needed to hear this message right now! Thank you, thank you , THANK YOU!!!! xo
Ouch that hurts 😢 I definitely have some abandonment issues. I felt like a wall. I’ve been choosing me lately
Thanks for this, it helps! I gave her space and now she's reaching out to me. I'm focusing on myself now though and will reach out more when I get stuff done
ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴏᴍᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ꜱᴇɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏꜰɪᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴄʀʏᴘᴛᴏ ɪɴᴠᴇꜱᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ, ᴛʜᴀɴᴋꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ'ꜱ✍️•••
Brooo!!! Ur better than therapists or psychologists!! I love this content!! I did come here and now I’m thinking I am choosing a person that’s not choosing me- Real Talk!!! Wow 🤯
It's insane that this video was recommended to me today of all days. Thank you for this
I needed this today. My wife of 25 years is separating from me and getting her own place and I been to dependent on her and needy, this stops now, I’m a good person and will focus this energy on myself
Update
@@GUITARTIME2024 we talk daily, try to do something together once a week, I know she’s out there partying and sleeping around but my focus has been on myself. I lost 70lbs since this post several months ago and strive to be the best version of myself I can be. Maybe someday she will see that and want to work things out, but if not i truly hope she finds what she’s looking for in this life. I’m gonna wait 6 more months which will be a year and if there’s no change I will file for divorce.
Update us
Perfect timing!
So true. I just emerged last year after 14 years of learning to love being single. At first i thought i might meet someone at my new Latin dance class, and no one paid any attention. Then i fell in love with ALL the men and decided it was better being single. Suddenly a flurry of them asked for my number and two came to my place at New Year. It's crazy!
Your for the streets lol
@@jimjones3173 😂😂😂😂
@@jimjones3173 LOL
the "let them figure it out themselves" stuck with me. thank you. I am acting on my self worth now because I don't deserve what's been going on. but this phrase is what I needed to hear today. thanks.
You’re rehashing the same thing over and over and over .. that’s an art !
I needed exactly this,, right now. Thank you.
🔥Blessings from Austin, Doughty! You teach us so much. Flying High here. Happy 2023 everyone! 💥
Aaron I don’t know you, but this video really made me feel a lot better about my situation- and I just wanted to truly say thank you. This helped a lot, I’m thinking about things in a more positive light and I appreciate you so much for making this one. Have a great life, cheers mate!
Exactly, They’re out living their life, and we are glued to our phone waiting for a text, like our life depends on it, and like Aaron said , always looking, will keep us in the state of always looking! Just let people live their life, and what’s meant for you will come. So yes it’s learning to live , without the constant gratification. Which so many of us crave, but it’s because of something much deeper. Dont be so needy , is the biggest thing I’ve learned through out my life.
Sir...I was not prepared to be called out like this so early in the morning. Nothing like childhood abandonment with your morning coffee. I've learned that being lovable and being loved is actually the easy part. It's being worthy for them to stay; people leave even if you're the best thing that's ever happened to them. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that, not just partners either. NO ONE has ever gone out of their way to keep me around, without me having to do or be something for them in return/first. Never just bec they want me; not what I can do for them. I appreciate your video.