It's inspiring. I will think how to stop link my needs to specific people. As for the need to belong, I am deeply satisfied with the belief that the whole world and life have their source and constant supply in energy that is mysteriously a PERSON. This PERSON knows me better than I know myself but gives me the freedom to decide for myself whether I will return the love that I have always been given. It depends on me whether I want to build a relationship with this PERSON. For years I have been amazed at how alive this relationship is and how much strength I find in this space between me and this PERSON, whom some call God. All the best, Marienne! Thank you for your videos 🙂
Hi Marianne, I enjoyed the way you described that sometimes a need word is referring to the strategy. I am interested that you see a continuum and will look out to see if I see that too. Most interesting to me was that you chose one of my most frequently unmet needs - belonging. So it was extra helpful to hear how you made it more abstract. And I would love to hear how you can belong to yourself. Often when I have got stuck with belonging, I've looked deeper, rather than broader, and found other needs like inclusion, support and being valued. Unfortunately at this point I seem to get stuck in an eddie. One way out has been to have compassion for myself. I've started watching your videos recently and love the way you explain things so clearly. This one seemed a little less "polished" and more off the cusp and I thank you for showing your vulnerability. 💜
Re-watching your video, I realise that I have a need for clarity attached to one person who is not very clear in a number of ways - so nearer to the strategy end, or even a strategy. And because you stopped talking about your partner I didn't hear your suggestions for needs under that strategy. I am trying to guess my need and it is something about knowing where I am in the world if something around me keeps changing or isn't what I think it is. It's more than stability, because it involves planning my week, and also meeting my needs that don't appear to need attention and then suddenly do because that significant person isn't where I thought he was. (emotionally, planning wise, physically etc). Any extra guesses from anyone are appreciated. I might even write a fb post on this to support me - it's really helpful to have my attention drawn to it!
Thanks for sharing about getting to needs and how belonging can include relationship with the earth and universe. I feel expansive reflecting on this. I like this format.🌻
Im grateful to watch this video right now! Your NVC teachings have been profoundly insightful, and I’m deeply grateful for the life-changing wisdom you've shared! 🙏🏻🕉️🩷 I love this format! It’s a great example of how NVC can be applied to understand (support and love) ourselves and others, and hearing you speak in a conversational style with yourself and to YT. Thank you for how beautifully you articulate and share NVC tools and practices! 🫶🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for the emphasis on more closely looking to discover strategies vs. needs. If you have additional videos on the subject, I'll look forward to learning more 👍😊
I really like this new format. Is the idea to share your “ah ha” moments as you experience them? If so, I think that’s a great idea. I enjoyed this topic as a reminder to evaluate if needs are connected to people or things we can’t control. Often they are and it’s good to get perspective again.
Hi Marriane. Thank you for this video, actually for all your video's. When you noticed a dependency, when I notice a dependency, I allow myself to accept myself being dependent, then I belong. My fear when I'm dependent is that I'm wrong, so accetance allows me to be me right here. I can feel this. Observe myself. And lean into what I need? Acceptance, warmth, to be seen and heard. If I've been directing this at a specific person (I often do), I can be vulnerable and share that with them if I'm ready, that it is my need, and this vulnerability offers me connection with me. I can make a request and accept their yes or no. I thought I'd wade in here. I'll stop for now. And ask, how are you with this?
Awareness that the energy of strategy can derail the process of empathetic need recognition. Very helpful idea! Keeping focused on the right time to apply mutually beneficial need based strategy. Marvelous free form sharing....your realness keeps me on your side...thank you!
I loved this! I feel soothed and free by your language. I felt reassured and inspired a little bit myself, and the self awareness you presented helped me to open up to my own self awareness in this moment, some.
Thank you! Really enjoy the new video format. Right now I am very interested in watching myself “strategy think” and just not doing it!! My process, something like, connect with my needs, how am I right now?, wait for direction, move in that direction, look for things to appreciate and love, and repeat. No need to “strategy think.” If I go left the worst thing that can happen is what I am thinking and believing. If I go right the worst thing that can happen is what I am thinking and believing - Byron Katie
I’m a little new to this so I wasn’t quite sure what you meant by strategies.? I’m assuming that it means we tell someone our needs in order to get them to do what we want. I’ll be watching more of your videos so I can practice NVC at home. I love the “Marianne in the Moment “. It’s a really great idea because I have noticed that I have many learning experiences daily and this is a great way to stop and reflect while everything is still fresh on your mind. I have a lot to learn about NVC and please tell me if you have had experiences using NVC with people who have Narcissistic traits or who might have NPD, not that I like labels. Or maybe people who are verbally and emotionally abusive? Maybe you already have a video about this topic. Or maybe NVC works the same way on everybody? I’d love to hear what you think.
Hi Marianne. First of all thanks for sharing NVC with us. I'm very interested to see how people live NVC. As far as the format, I really enjoy this approach. The self reflection and impromptu delivery, looked quite authentic to me, something I really enjoy. I could also relate with this topic. I also find myself some times mixing up Needs and preferences on how to fulfill the Need. What I try to do when I catch myself doing this, is to take a deeper look within to see if there is an even stronger Need that is unmet. How is this for you?
I found this video really helpful, thank you! May I tell you about a book which really opened my mind about something you are also talking about here: by Siegfried Essen “Selbstliebe als Lebenskunst” (also translated in English)
im confused , as far as i understood , i can show a need to someone and they can choose to meet it or not- but in a way , the need to belonging is a social need, as well as connecting etc, and i think that theres nothing wrong with having needs that we can only meet with other people
It is interesting, but I don't feel at ease watching this :S , since from the informations we get it doesn't seem that the partner gave his consent into having (what I consider) quite intimate issues/informations of his discussed on the internet... Also, even though I get the point of not asking another person to take charge of your needs, it seems a bit unrealistic and too much to ask yourself to be completely emotionnally self-sufficient. I'm not sure that is ever really achievable for a human being. I think there is a fine line between asking the other one to take charge and sharing with them a need that could be fulfilled by an action from them, and see what can be done from there. I dont' if that's clear, hope you'll get something from it :/
Hi Lucile, thanks for your concern, I did check with my partner and asked for his consent for the video :-) And I get your point. What it's about for me is to move more to the need when Im stuck. Otherwise, it is totally ok if you link the need to a person and try with them first. Does that help in any way?
Appreciating this helpful reminder that “conflict happens at the level of strategies”. I will share this with my partner.
It's inspiring. I will think how to stop link my needs to specific people.
As for the need to belong, I am deeply satisfied with the belief that the whole world and life have their source and constant supply in energy that is mysteriously a PERSON. This PERSON knows me better than I know myself but gives me the freedom to decide for myself whether I will return the love that I have always been given. It depends on me whether I want to build a relationship with this PERSON. For years I have been amazed at how alive this relationship is and how much strength I find in this space between me and this PERSON, whom some call God.
All the best, Marienne! Thank you for your videos 🙂
Hi Marianne, I enjoyed the way you described that sometimes a need word is referring to the strategy. I am interested that you see a continuum and will look out to see if I see that too. Most interesting to me was that you chose one of my most frequently unmet needs - belonging. So it was extra helpful to hear how you made it more abstract. And I would love to hear how you can belong to yourself.
Often when I have got stuck with belonging, I've looked deeper, rather than broader, and found other needs like inclusion, support and being valued. Unfortunately at this point I seem to get stuck in an eddie. One way out has been to have compassion for myself.
I've started watching your videos recently and love the way you explain things so clearly. This one seemed a little less "polished" and more off the cusp and I thank you for showing your vulnerability. 💜
Re-watching your video, I realise that I have a need for clarity attached to one person who is not very clear in a number of ways - so nearer to the strategy end, or even a strategy. And because you stopped talking about your partner I didn't hear your suggestions for needs under that strategy. I am trying to guess my need and it is something about knowing where I am in the world if something around me keeps changing or isn't what I think it is. It's more than stability, because it involves planning my week, and also meeting my needs that don't appear to need attention and then suddenly do because that significant person isn't where I thought he was. (emotionally, planning wise, physically etc).
Any extra guesses from anyone are appreciated. I might even write a fb post on this to support me - it's really helpful to have my attention drawn to it!
Thanks for sharing about getting to needs and how belonging can include relationship with the earth and universe. I feel expansive reflecting on this. I like this format.🌻
Thanks Alyson!
Im grateful to watch this video right now! Your NVC teachings have been profoundly insightful, and I’m deeply grateful for the life-changing wisdom you've shared! 🙏🏻🕉️🩷
I love this format! It’s a great example of how NVC can be applied to understand (support and love) ourselves and others, and hearing you speak in a conversational style with yourself and to YT. Thank you for how beautifully you articulate and share NVC tools and practices! 🫶🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for the emphasis on more closely looking to discover strategies vs. needs. If you have additional videos on the subject, I'll look forward to learning more 👍😊
Thanks Melissa, I have one about 'solving a conflict in 3 minutes' that talks about strategies versus needs, maybe you find it interesting?
Thank you. I will look for it.
I really like this new format. Is the idea to share your “ah ha” moments as you experience them? If so, I think that’s a great idea. I enjoyed this topic as a reminder to evaluate if needs are connected to people or things we can’t control. Often they are and it’s good to get perspective again.
Yes sharing the ah ha moments i the idea, I like that way of describing it!
Hi Marriane. Thank you for this video, actually for all your video's.
When you noticed a dependency, when I notice a dependency, I allow myself to accept myself being dependent, then I belong. My fear when I'm dependent is that I'm wrong, so accetance allows me to be me right here. I can feel this. Observe myself. And lean into what I need? Acceptance, warmth, to be seen and heard. If I've been directing this at a specific person (I often do), I can be vulnerable and share that with them if I'm ready, that it is my need, and this vulnerability offers me connection with me. I can make a request and accept their yes or no. I thought I'd wade in here. I'll stop for now. And ask, how are you with this?
Awareness that the energy of strategy can derail the process of empathetic need recognition. Very helpful idea! Keeping focused on the right time to apply mutually beneficial need based strategy. Marvelous free form sharing....your realness keeps me on your side...thank you!
Thank you Jason, happy to hear this!
I loved this! I feel soothed and free by your language. I felt reassured and inspired a little bit myself, and the self awareness you presented helped me to open up to my own self awareness in this moment, some.
Thank you! Really enjoy the new video format. Right now I am very interested in watching myself “strategy think” and just not doing it!! My process, something like, connect with my needs, how am I right now?, wait for direction, move in that direction, look for things to appreciate and love, and repeat. No need to “strategy think.”
If I go left the worst thing that can happen is what I am thinking and believing. If I go right the worst thing that can happen is what I am thinking and believing - Byron Katie
thanks, I like that Byron Katie quote!
I’m a little new to this so I wasn’t quite sure what you meant by strategies.? I’m assuming that it means we tell someone our needs in order to get them to do what we want. I’ll be watching more of your videos so I can practice NVC at home. I love the “Marianne in the Moment “. It’s a really great idea because I have noticed that I have many learning experiences daily and this is a great way to stop and reflect while everything is still fresh on your mind. I have a lot to learn about NVC and please tell me if you have had experiences using NVC with people who have Narcissistic traits or who might have NPD, not that I like labels. Or maybe people who are verbally and emotionally abusive? Maybe you already have a video about this topic. Or maybe NVC works the same way on everybody? I’d love to hear what you think.
I'm interested in this idea of belonging to myself.
Hi Marianne. First of all thanks for sharing NVC with us. I'm very interested to see how people live NVC. As far as the format, I really enjoy this approach. The self reflection and impromptu delivery, looked quite authentic to me, something I really enjoy. I could also relate with this topic. I also find myself some times mixing up Needs and preferences on how to fulfill the Need. What I try to do when I catch myself doing this, is to take a deeper look within to see if there is an even stronger Need that is unmet. How is this for you?
I like that approach, thanks for sharing it!
Thanx for that
I found this video really helpful, thank you! May I tell you about a book which really opened my mind about something you are also talking about here: by Siegfried Essen “Selbstliebe als Lebenskunst” (also translated in English)
Thanks for sharing!!
im confused , as far as i understood , i can show a need to someone and they can choose to meet it or not- but in a way , the need to belonging is a social need, as well as connecting etc, and i think that theres nothing wrong with having needs that we can only meet with other people
It is interesting, but I don't feel at ease watching this :S , since from the informations we get it doesn't seem that the partner gave his consent into having (what I consider) quite intimate issues/informations of his discussed on the internet...
Also, even though I get the point of not asking another person to take charge of your needs, it seems a bit unrealistic and too much to ask yourself to be completely emotionnally self-sufficient. I'm not sure that is ever really achievable for a human being. I think there is a fine line between asking the other one to take charge and sharing with them a need that could be fulfilled by an action from them, and see what can be done from there. I dont' if that's clear, hope you'll get something from it :/
Hi Lucile, thanks for your concern, I did check with my partner and asked for his consent for the video :-) And I get your point. What it's about for me is to move more to the need when Im stuck. Otherwise, it is totally ok if you link the need to a person and try with them first. Does that help in any way?
I feel the need to listen to someone who finishes their sentences. Or is that a strategy?
that's indeed a strategy. what would it bring you if someone would finish their sentences?
@@CupofEmpathy I would feel less restless, because my mind does not have to start-stop-start-stop processing information.
@@CupofEmpathy Could you, maybe in another video, share more about strategies?