I was told all the time as a kid not to interrupt as its rude. Hence I never got to say what my needs are, or be able to give opinions or even solutions to a problem being talked about at the time. It was great to hear you say interrupting is not impolite, that it is ok.
I learned about nonviolent communication and have been looking for clear, concise, and easy to understand material on TH-cam. I’m very thankful to have found you. This fills my need 🥰 I appreciate you taking the time to remind people pleasers to set boundaries as well. I completely forget I even have boundaries when I’m focused on learning a new communication skill or getting to know someone on a deeper level.
An interruption might be called for when the person you are listening to starts to deviate from their feelings and story, and the person starts giving advice, preaching, or telling you their solution and why it is satisfying and that you should utilize this solution too. The person might be simply giving advice or telling you what they believe is the right way to do things. This may be in a soft and gentle way, but you recognize this as preaching to you about how one must believe or act. These are the difficult areas in communication.
I am glad you have twice mentioned power imbalance as limiting condition to implement NVC. In the context of saying "No" and "being talked down to" you have given us the space to work with here and empowered us about our options when the dynamics are (more) equal and conducive to NVC. I would love to see your video and thoughts, ideas, tools on NVC in power imbalance contexts that we find ourselves in daily at work, school, family,etc. The situations where it is "reasonable to assume" that one party has power over another and is willing to use it to have their preferred strategies to meet their needs in that situation. 😉
My need for beauty is met by seing your beauty, and I am glad you chose NVC as your career path (if its so in your own eyes) and you make TH-cam videos so that I too can see them and connect with you and meet my need for beauty by seing you :)
Thank you very much for this and other videos! I've been in the subject of non-violent communication for a long time and at the same time, thanks to your channel, I have many new useful ideas 💚 What sounds in this video, for me, resonates with Rosenberg's idea "you won't hear "no" anymore". And it seems that you are suggesting that instead of ""no" to the speaker", interrupting the speaker, telling him "I interrupt you because X is important to me." And it's more like making contact than breaking it (my english can be strange %)
Marianne I love love your videos! You provide so much insight about NVC to me!! And you mentioned your zoom life sessions monthly, how can I be part of it? Where do I find the link for it?? Thanks for all you do ❤️
We are starting live sessions again in Jan 2023! Registration has just opened, usually we are full quickly: cupofempathy.com/nonviolent-communication-course/ You can also join the standard version of the course at any time, which has my support in a facebook group. Send me an email if you have any questions: info@cupofempathy.com
Oh, how well you exemplify how to interrupt etc! Why do psychotherapists and Psychiatry,, with all their training and knowledge, do this you say and do? - If I had got such address, I could have healed 30 years ago. How do I find someone like you to help me?
You mentioned other tools are required in unequal power dynamic; could you please elaborate on what they are? E.b. A manager, or another power figure in a conflict with their subordinate or a person depending on them in some capacity.
It's wonderful what you propose! Ideally i would realy like to do it like that. I'm working on estimating if people are able/willing to do what I ask as to limit the times I get a 'NO' or conflicted situation on my request, as that can be hard to deal with. So in this situation I would say If you have a person in front of you that is already stuck in their head and talking from there, they are not very likely to have space to hear your trigger. It's possible they'll even respond 'Yes.' from their head and then not be able to listen to you at all while you are telling your trigger. Though it would be lovely if they could. Do you feel like it's anyway a good thing to ask for what you want, even if they are not likely to be able. to give it to you, even if it is only to make space for yourself by stating your feelings/need/requests. Like that at least they become aware of where you are at?
Yes, i think it's usually a good idea to share what you want..and to be aware what is your intention with it, how will you take care of yourself when not heard, etc..:-)
@@CupofEmpathy thanks.Yes. It's funny, I misread: 'how will you take care of yourself when not heard' for: if you don't say what you need how will you take care of yourself? And this is true. At least to make space for me. And indeed also important to know what to do when you get a 'No'.
How about the situation where someone is rambling on, without even caring whether you are interested in what they say, but you don’t want to interrupt them abruptly, in a way that sours the interaction either?
How about: Excuse me... I'm a little confused about why you're telling me this. Would you mind telling me? Cause I wanna be sure to understand you right.
I think it would be interesting to ask yourself: if they are not interested in what I have to say, what is the value of me giving my time and energy listening to them, for both of us? Isnt the interaction already sour then? I would never assume the interaction turns sour when you interrupt. It will either benefit from it, or become clear that it had never been beneficial to either one of you to begin with. How's that for you to here?
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Let me know what you thought of this!
I was told all the time as a kid not to interrupt as its rude. Hence I never got to say what my needs are, or be able to give opinions or even solutions to a problem being talked about at the time. It was great to hear you say interrupting is not impolite, that it is ok.
I learned about nonviolent communication and have been looking for clear, concise, and easy to understand material on TH-cam. I’m very thankful to have found you. This fills my need 🥰
I appreciate you taking the time to remind people pleasers to set boundaries as well. I completely forget I even have boundaries when I’m focused on learning a new communication skill or getting to know someone on a deeper level.
An interruption might be called for when the person you are listening to starts to deviate from their feelings and story, and the person starts giving advice, preaching, or telling you their solution
and why it is satisfying and that you should utilize this solution too. The person might be simply giving advice or telling you what they believe is the right way to do things. This may be in a soft
and gentle way, but you recognize this as preaching to you about how one must believe or act. These are the difficult areas in communication.
I am glad you have twice mentioned power imbalance as limiting condition to implement NVC. In the context of saying "No" and "being talked down to" you have given us the space to work with here and empowered us about our options when the dynamics are (more) equal and conducive to NVC. I would love to see your video and thoughts, ideas, tools on NVC in power imbalance contexts that we find ourselves in daily at work, school, family,etc. The situations where it is "reasonable to assume" that one party has power over another and is willing to use it to have their preferred strategies to meet their needs in that situation. 😉
Thanks for the suggestion!
@@CupofEmpathyI love their suggestion!
I like the sound of your voice. The tone of your voice is soothing to my nervous system.
Thanks Simon 😍
My need for beauty is met by seing your beauty, and I am glad you chose NVC as your career path (if its so in your own eyes) and you make TH-cam videos so that I too can see them and connect with you and meet my need for beauty by seing you :)
Thank you very much for this and other videos! I've been in the subject of non-violent communication for a long time and at the same time, thanks to your channel, I have many new useful ideas 💚 What sounds in this video, for me, resonates with Rosenberg's idea "you won't hear "no" anymore". And it seems that you are suggesting that instead of ""no" to the speaker", interrupting the speaker, telling him "I interrupt you because X is important to me." And it's more like making contact than breaking it (my english can be strange %)
Marianne I love love your videos! You provide so much insight about NVC to me!! And you mentioned your zoom life sessions monthly, how can I be part of it? Where do I find the link for it?? Thanks for all you do ❤️
We are starting live sessions again in Jan 2023! Registration has just opened, usually we are full quickly: cupofempathy.com/nonviolent-communication-course/
You can also join the standard version of the course at any time, which has my support in a facebook group.
Send me an email if you have any questions: info@cupofempathy.com
It's great to see you back Marianne.
Oh, how well you exemplify how to interrupt etc! Why do psychotherapists and Psychiatry,, with all their training and knowledge, do this you say and do? - If I had got such address, I could have healed 30 years ago. How do I find someone like you to help me?
You mentioned other tools are required in unequal power dynamic; could you please elaborate on what they are? E.b. A manager, or another power figure in a conflict with their subordinate or a person depending on them in some capacity.
It's wonderful what you propose! Ideally i would realy like to do it like that. I'm working on estimating if people are able/willing to do what I ask as to limit the times I get a 'NO' or conflicted situation on my request, as that can be hard to deal with. So in this situation I would say If you have a person in front of you that is already stuck in their head and talking from there, they are not very likely to have space to hear your trigger. It's possible they'll even respond 'Yes.' from their head and then not be able to listen to you at all while you are telling your trigger. Though it would be lovely if they could. Do you feel like it's anyway a good thing to ask for what you want, even if they are not likely to be able. to give it to you, even if it is only to make space for yourself by stating your feelings/need/requests. Like that at least they become aware of where you are at?
Yes, i think it's usually a good idea to share what you want..and to be aware what is your intention with it, how will you take care of yourself when not heard, etc..:-)
@@CupofEmpathy thanks.Yes. It's funny, I misread: 'how will you take care of yourself when not heard' for: if you don't say what you need how will you take care of yourself? And this is true. At least to make space for me. And indeed also important to know what to do when you get a 'No'.
hi marianne' do you have an advanced course? for support and more?
Sorry for my late response, yes i do now! cupofempathy.com/nvc-advanced-course/
How about the situation where someone is rambling on, without even caring whether you are interested in what they say, but you don’t want to interrupt them abruptly, in a way that sours the interaction either?
How about:
Excuse me... I'm a little confused about why you're telling me this. Would you mind telling me? Cause I wanna be sure to understand you right.
I think it would be interesting to ask yourself: if they are not interested in what I have to say, what is the value of me giving my time and energy listening to them, for both of us? Isnt the interaction already sour then? I would never assume the interaction turns sour when you interrupt. It will either benefit from it, or become clear that it had never been beneficial to either one of you to begin with. How's that for you to here?
First ever video I'm the first viewer 😁
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥂
HAHA that is cool!! there must be a prize!
⭐⭐⭐❤⭐⭐⭐