Lizzie, I think I understand how being manic actually helps you make your videos. Not only does it give you the energy to both vlog and edit quickly and for long periods of time, but it makes you come across with passion and vitality. However, sometimes I notice in your videos that when you slow down, take a breath, and feel your emotions, I actually feel a deeper connection with you as a person. I was around someone years ago who was in an extreme manic state, and although he was coming up with an incredible number of amazing Ideas, I noticed that I couldn't handle being around him for very long. This was because my own brain was moving much more slowly than his was, and I was getting exhausted trying to keep up with his energy. I have great sympathy for you when I realize how addictive mania is, and that you just don't feel like yourself when you're out of that state. I myself tend to have an addictive personality, and can easily get addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, the Internet, etc. So I'm aware how powerful addiction can be. Thank you for sharing your experience with bipolar - it is very enlightening.
I’ve wondered if it was possible to be addicted to manic episodes. If they’re caused by a flood of dopamine to the brain it’s very similar to drug use.
After being in depression for over a year, I'm tried of it. I want to be manic and it is an addiction. I just don't know how to trigger it. I just want to be hypomanic because it makes me productive, but I've never really been hypomanic. I always skip that into mania and then into psychosis. I really shouldn’t be manic for that reason, but I want to be happy even if it is fake.
This entire video resonated with me tremendously! I went through a period of extreme mania when I was wrongly diagnosed as depressed and consequently put on antidepressants - the antidepressants minus mood stabilizers had me so manic but to me - life was amazing, I was happy, this was the way it was meant to be. This all happened during the latter years of high school and before college so it was a pivotal point in my life, I really got to know myself during these years, it's when I made most of my good friends, it wasn't until the mania got really bad that I was then diagnosed with bipolar II and since then it's been such a struggle, obviously medication is hard but like you said many times: manic me, is just me - it's who everybody got to know and love, it's what got me into the yearbook, it's the social, happy, energetic me, without the mania the best parts of me are gone. For a while (and you might've gone through this too, I assume just because our situation seems very similiar and this is commmon amongst bipolar people) my abundant energy and social skills were thought to be due to ADHD, and it wasn't the fidgety type of ADHD it's the person who can't stand not being aroudn people, talking, socializing and just being the center of energy, just goes to show what my manic epsisodes are like.
That's exactly how I feel. Like with depression I've lost who I am. It's the reason I go so deep into my depression because I spend so much time reflecting on who I was (happy, passionate, inspired, creative, loving & everything is so clear) then I'm depressed n I lose all that. I'm suddenly highly anxious, paranoid, sad, unmotivated and always in deep thought. That's when I start trying to find ways to trigger mania. Hasn't worked out for me yet though.
I completely relate. My mania has gotten me so many rewards and so much love. When I'm not manic, it's like I'm disposable. The treatment from people makes me want to stay glued to my bed and it sucks. I end up drinking to get my personality back and the cycle continues.
LISTEN TO THIS SONG!! Especially the second verse, I feel like it could've been written about mania: th-cam.com/video/BtvJaNeELic/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=LordeVEVO
I have never had joy with my bipolar..my mania is tied to my depression and rage goes hand in hand.. yet..I am who I am and can not control myself with any of it. it happens..the only thing that helps is the medication if only i can stop forgetting to take it.
Keep doing research, online or talking to doctors, reach out to people with the same struggle. Eventually you will find something that works as long as you don't give up, there's an answer out there for you. Meditation, therapy, journalling, medication, whatever works. For example, different ways to help you remember your pills: put them next to bed with a bottled drink so it's the first and last thing you see (morning/night), put it in your bathroom or kitchen where you pass it everyday, set an alarm where you just wake up to take them then go back to bed. I know from experience, you can't let yourself be held back. Do everything you can to take your pills regularly if they help, make that your goal for the day, give yourself a gift or prize if you go a week without skipping any doses.
And thank you for talking about bipolar disorder. It's been helping me to understand what I'm going through when I have no clue what is going on. Mania is definitely the upside of this disorder.
I have just been diagnosed since September, and you are the only person so far that has described word-for-word how I am when I am hypomanic: the wanting to isolate yourself because you are so focused on the projects or works that you are so into and the "autopilot" feeling and being aware of your thoughts and actions but not really being able to control them. I've been watching your videos for quite awhile now, and I'd like to say your videos are a breath of fresh air and you are really inspiring :)
Your videos about mental health help me so much. I'm pretty sure I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, and your videos have been so comforting. I no longer feel alone and confused; I finally see that others go through similar experiences as me. Thank you so much, Lizzie. I've been watching your videos for about four years now and you have helped me through so many different struggles in my life. Thank you. :)
Your experiences are so similar to mine. Stay strong. I'm just getting out of a manic episode and it's tough. It's like I put off the whole world when I'm manic and just do my creative projects and art and don't think about anyone else. I know how that feels.
The problem with the high productivity of writing while manic, is it is often necessary to edit it when you're more stable. A lot of raw manic thoughts need to be reigned in.
I totally know what you are feeling man... For anyone out there that can relate to someway, shape, or form to my personal story know that you truly aren't alone... Before I had my manic episode 3 years ago I didn't realize the signs. It's strange because before it happened I had a severe panic attack (which I had never experienced) and had become totally bed-sick. But after my panic attack I slowly got better but I started to isolate myself more & more, go on long walks (with music in my ears from various artists such as Eminem, video Game music like Final Fantasy, Silent Hill, Hotline Miami etc.), I was also composing a lot more music and creating a lot more art in a state where I felt truly free and myself. This was happening during the summer so I had constantly had an addictive routine of working out, walking with my music, creating/making music, constantly writing (which I naturally do anyways but had turned into a state of Hypergraphia), I had also been reading more books than usual and was reading at an alarming rate where I could absorb information on a very energetic level. The books I had read that summer were the song of ice and fire books (a game of thrones) and the Dune series and I started to relate a lot to the characters and really put myself into that world because I was starting to become more manic/hypo-manic. I remember it quite clearly now when the signs were starting to take effect (but I didn't realize it at the time): I was swimming and I started to think of everything having an opposite (It was like finding an oxymoron word for every word that popped in my brain). For example, I would think of war and peace, light and dark, love and hate, Ice and Fire etc...and this was like an epiphany I was having. I had called it a "Noe-enlightenment" and felt like I was cracking the ultimate code for the universe and that I was evolving or gaining superpowers. Since I was always into vampires and the The Vampire Chronicles series by Anne Rice I started to believe that I was a vampire or descended from Dracula but then I would see myself as like a "God-like" figure. So what I experienced was a God-complex no doubt in my mind. But the peaks kept going and I did not need to eat much or sleep much and if I slept for one or two hours it felt like I slept for 8 or 9 hours. I enjoyed my solitude but at the same time I enjoyed going out and people enjoyed my company not really fully knowing what was going on. Since my personality is very outgoing and always try to by myself it was like I felt it was the best version of myself with "super powers" (I even thought I had telepathy and could communicate with certain friends like the book The Chrysalids)). I would listen and analyze every word a person would say and sometimes certain words would trigger me and I would find a way to be really passionate and sometimes aggressive with my words. Also my sexual energy/mood was very intense and I would have very strong primal fantasies which I had never experienced before ( I literally never needed to watch porn again because of how visual my brain/mind had become). Basically I felt like all my emotions were open and that I let my senses roam free yet at the same time I felt intensely brave and that I was finally awake forever. I saw it kind of like enlightenment or a gift that was given to me by God or some deity. I started to even write on my wall with markers and I still keep what I wrote as a reminder and kind of like a guide and/or "road map" into my own brain/mind. However the grave mistake I think a person if they are in a manic state should not do: reading the bible...particularly the revelations (from John). All the feelings, emotions, senses I had when I was becoming and became manic reflected what this particular chapter of the bible was communicating to me. Since I had such a severe God Complex I began to follow the scripture and felt literally the world was going to be washed away in blood and that I would have to be one of the few survivors. So I was reading the revelations a little bit day by day feeding into my mania making me peak even more...at one point (bad luck as it was ) I even saw a Gardner snake on my driveway coming towards me and I stomped on it with my sandle just like Jesus had when he was tempted by Satan. So I was starting to see literal metaphors for everything from the bible and what I had been reading (game of thrones etc.)...I felt that there were now higher forces judging me even when I was creating so now I wasn't creating for me but out of the bible. So what was a God Complex now became a fully fledged Messianic Complex or as I call it now a Jesus Complex. I felt that I was literally Jesus Christ incarnate and that the revelations were happening here on Earth and that false prophets roamed our earth and that there would be fire and rivers of blood to cleanse the world. So my fear was growing and I saw the number seven in everything (just like the seven seals in the revelations) and I felt that apocalypse/judgement day was coming. I had packed my bag with all the belongings I felt were important and I went to the hindu temple by my house because I thought God was going to be in his throne along with "my wives waiting for me" ( I even had rings ready for "my wives"). Luckily my parents were aware of my behaviour and kept a close eye on me...my dad was there when I went to the temple and that was when I slowly started to realize the reality of what was happening. I had broken down...crashed so to speak...and what was once a Messianic/Jesus complex faded that into that of a man again. I had gone from a God Complex, to a Jesus Complex, to me being "normal" again (which wasn't manic anymore). There were still some lingering effects of the mania but it took a couple days for it to dissipate and I was saddened that I may never experience it again. Funny thing is as I was becoming manic I knew or had some idea in the back of my mind but allowed my mind to experience all of these complexes because I literally felt like a kid again where I could really have a form of suspension of disbelief. I had developed these philosophies of how I tricked my mind/brain to get there or better yet I felt that I had cracked my mind in order to experience this state. In retrospect, the Bible was a beautiful experience but it was also very dangerous because it made my peaks climb faster and become more intense. I think if I hadn't read it while in a manic state I would have probably better managed myself and allowed myself to ease back down from the "ride" or manic state. I have to be honest I do miss that state of MANIA but it can become self-destructive ( kind of like a sith lord in Star Wars...which is what I felt I was while I was manic as well). Now I feel to have a fairly balanced lifestyle and haven't had a manic state quite like that ever again.I realized over time that in my youth/ teenage years in high school that I was most likely manic for four years because I was obsessed with doing my school work...I wouldn't sleep and eat properly because I had anxiety or pressure because of the grades we had to get for universities. But I placed that pressure on myself and despite it not being healthy I also at the same time learned the value of hard-work, making sacrifices, and what balance really means (I'm still learning that and will always try to I'm a Libra for crying out loud). I mean yeah the doctor is going to label it Bi-Polar (Type 1 or Type 2) but I really do believe that having a manic state or state of hypo-mania can happen to anyone. It just depends on the individual and the type of experience they are having. How they deal with it or embrace it is up to them and we always need help. MEMES are nice or a funny way to show things on the internet but it's also a clever way for people to cry out with their own problems when they are too ashamed of sharing their personal stories with the fear of being laughed at or labelled a "freak". Sometimes the joke gets lost when people are looking for help and people say when it's too late: "I didn't see the signs" or " I had no idea". Some of the most brilliant minds like Bobby Fischer or Brian Wilson are just some of the examples that madness and greatness are sometimes on both sides of the same coin. The point is whether you are Bi-Polar, Schizophrenic, or are just going through a certain mental state/trauma/episode it's important to find a positive outlet be it through music, art, fitness, being in a group or having a person you actually trust to talk with, and so forth. Sometimes we each deal with our shadow and demons in different ways and we are strong and weak in different ways with the personal journeys we are taking.
My favorite band is Animal Collective because when I was in a really long depression they actually made me FEEL something. Over the summer I listened to their album Feels (no pun intended) all the way through literally once a day
You’re right. I only feel like myself in hypomania. I been depressed for like 1 year straight and now that I’m hypo I feel normal and I don’t want it to end.
Hey I think I'm bipolar also but really you can control things a lot more than you think by staying aware of what is happening like I feel sad but it's chemical it's not reality and so on you can decide and have a strategy for these occasions there is nothing wrong with being awake and in touch with the world if you take your medication what will happens is eventually you will feel more awake permanently and you won't have lows like the ones you have now. The medications acts by attacking your brain so it has to react and this is what sets it back to balance. So it's hard st first but if you are consistent you will see how you come back to life and feel yourself in a much more stable and functional way. Really the biggest struggle is if you have ppl around you who don't understand the disease which is usually the case. All my best to you I know we can both get this disease in check step by step it also really makes me struggle in life I hate it but it's possible to get it under control. Much love for your openness
*c4arla* and *Jaefar SABNW* would you give this advice not to take any medication to someone having Hallucinations, and Delusions with Schizophrenia? You obviously don't have severe Bipolar, or maybe, don't even have it at all, or you would NOT be giving out such strange advice.
Thank you! That whole thing you mentioned where you know what you're doing is bad, but you can't stop it... I feel that so much the "Why am I even doing this?" and everyone around me will just say "well if you know it's bad then why don't you just stop?" and they don't seem to realize that I can be aware, but still not be able to control it... And I thought it was just me being crazy. But to hear that you feel it as well, that makes it feel less insane...
I swear, I feel the same way. You explained this feeling so well. My husband tells me all the time, that I am not my disorder... it's so entwined within me. It is difficult for those who do not experience this to fully grasp how closely I relate my true self to my mania.
I know this is old but thank you so so much. I've been subscribed for a while now but I had no idea that you made this series. Thank you, I needed this.
It Might be due to the depression flip i have been in for over a year. But yes the manic is awesome for focus and productivity. I was diagnosed with bi polar about 4 months ago and thinking about it all my counselling has been for depression and I barraly remember the fun part of it. I am glad to see someone openly talking about what this is like because nobody out side of bi polar does understand the multifaceted people that it creates us to be.
Lizzie ! I am 25 I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 16 . I have been extremely manic for about s month . I crashed into angry manic maybe even depressing just today's, Idk yet . I've been battling this for years and when I am Manic I know I am but I try to ignore it and i tell myself this is who I actually am and I am not bipolar . I hate it. I love my uniqueness or uniqueness of being bipolar but I want to vent and like you said people who are not bipolar don't understand . Just watching your video made me feel better and understood . Thanks . I love John Mayer "who says" and "say what you need to say " actually most if not all Of his songs .
I only experienced hypomania my whole life until I reached my mid thirties. Then I lost 6 years to depression, literally lived in my bedroom. Then I took Wellbutrin and spent 3 weeks hypomanic and crashed. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get it back. The pills aren't doing it, even after doubling my dose. I'm looking for triggers. I'd be crazy not to.
I'm bipolar and it's been hard finding out. Lost my best friend and partner, I just got out of the hospital from a breakdown. I almost killed myself and in some ways I wish I would have. I hate this illness and how it makes me feel. The meds work most days but the crash is real. It takes a long time to come out of it. I listen to Drake and Anita Baker to calm me down a lot. Being manic is great cause the person I am is who I want the world to see. When I'm not him I'm so down and I view the world as looking at me as I have failed. I just watch your videos for insight into this illness. I have no guide to help me.
i feel like you are taking words right out of my mouth. i have self diagnosed myself with bipolar disorder and i feel like i wouldn't know who i would be if i wasn't... i think its a blessing to be bipolar. when i drop to the depression i don't feel sad, i don't feel anything actually i just feel completely numb... in my mania episodes my mind is racing to the point where i can't even understand myself, its too magical and i have become very spiritual, i have trouble sleeping in my manic episodes often staying up all night just researching about things I'm passionate about and i write some really crazy stuff haha and create and draw a lot and i read soon much like multiple books at the same time when I'm in a manic episode and i have isolated myself completely, i find it difficult to build friendships because i am so focused on myself, like i don't even want to see anyone because I'm just way too happy all by my self! i have only started doing research about bipolar yesterday after i saw my phsyichiatrist who put me on valprease to make my moods more stable and i was reading the information about the drug and it said, 'often used for epilepsy and then i saw it said mania and i searched up what that meant and it is so mee! the moods mainly switch from hypomania and mania, and sometimes depression but not that often because i look after myself :) glad i have been reading about it all because it just makes so much sense! by the way i have a brain injury i got hit by a car 3 years ago and it would make sense that i have had bipolar disorder ever since because after i got hit i dropped to a really dark stage in my life but slowly finding myself and now that i have brought out the inner child within me i have never been happier!! sending all my love darling one you seem like you know what you're doing :) good luck!!
I impulsively buy stuff. Especially online. My brother committed suicide. We think he had depression. I understand him better now. Thank you. Luke Bryan or Cimorelli.
I had mania once in 95 it lasted a day or so, no drugs or alcohol involved. I remember it was a sunny cold day and I felt on top of the world and invincible. always though I wanted the feeling back. but after seeing this I'm not sure I do
thank you so much! I love the Mania part of the cycle and will try to keep myself there as long as possible. I have done a lot of amazing things in the midst of my mania. No one has ever voiced it the way you have. Most of the time no one can tell that I am Bipolar because I hide during my depressive cycle and can fake the mania in short bursts. It's like my own dirty little secret weapon.
Also, Diluted by Slipknot- I'm cold, I'm ugly I'm always confused by everything I can stare into a thousand eyes But every smile hides a bold-faced lie It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes My heroes are dead, they died in my head Thin out the herd, squeeze out the pain Something inside me has opened up again Thoughts of me exemplified All the little flaws I have denied Forget today, forget whatever happened Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? I save all the bullets from ignorant minds Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens I decrease, while my symptoms increase God what the fuck is wrong You act like you knew it all along Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing All I ever wanted out of you was Something you could never be Now take a real good look at What you've fucking done to me What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? Gimme any reason why I'd need you, boy Gimme any reason why I'd need you Gimme any reason why I'd need you Gimme any reason not to fuck you up Gimme any reason why I'd need you, bitch Gimme any reason why I'd need you Gimme any reason why I'd need you Gimme any reason not to fuck you up I see you in me, I see you in me I see you in me, I see you in me I see you in me, I see you in me I see you in me, I see you in me I keep my scars from prying eyes Incapable of ever knowing why Somebody breathe, I've got to have an answer Why am I so fascinated by Bigger pictures, better things But I don't care what you think You'll never understand me What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this? Fuck
I love being manic other than being depressed or in a zombie like state. My manic episodes come out every few years...I wish they occurred more often as I feel at my best in that state of mind. I've actually tried to induce my mania by not taking my meds and failed miserably. Last manic episode lasted a month and I loved every minute of it. I was getting shit done, had thousands of ideas that I wrote down in a journal. It's just the greatest high for me. I would prefer my manic self over my normal (medicated) self. So I know where Lizzie and those like her are coming from. I, personally, can't wait till the next episode. I'm just being real, honest and open about it. Especially on how it affects me and my psyche. Till we meet again in the next manic episode :):
Thanks for sharing this video Lizzie I remember I was a complete mess right after I was released from the hospital. I didn't like my manic especially when I started to have paranoia and psychosis so I was quite happy to get help. For the first couple of months after I was released from the hospital I didn't even know who I was anymore, I was completely loss. I spent the time trying to find out how much about me was bipolar, how about me was aspergers and how much was actually me. It was a difficult and long period of self examination and self reflection. I kept thinking about all the times that I was possibly hypomanic, all the times I was depressed and was i thinking when i was manic. I kept asking the question about who I was, it was a painful period in my life as I was also suffering anxiety and a mild depression once my mania subsided. It was only after many months did I fully recover. I am grateful now that I have a better perspective of who I am now and that I am now finally able to live my life fully as I finally now know what has been plaguing me for year and I am medicated against it.
I am so glad you have survived all of this and have been able to recover, get control of your brain! ♥♥♥ This book I love and HIGHLY recommend is called "Welcome to the Jungle" and it explains all the self reflection existential crisis type stuff and even says that one positive of having bipolar is that although really painful and disorienting, we get to know ourselves with this extreme detail that we otherwise wouldn't see an understand. How did you get to a point where you fully KNEW that you know who you are? I feel like for me it will never end, that I'll always be questioning what was real and what of me is real.
Thanks for the book suggestion, I'll look it up. I think the moment I knew who I was again was a few months after I started doing an internship and getting back into the working world, I think having a something to do everyday outside bipolar is an important part of recovery and gaining back control of your life. Before I was doing my internship, I was spending a lot of time journaling my thoughts down to figure out who I was. I also spent quite a bit of time talking to friends about my condition which helped. I also spent a bit time painting and traveling which helped me to stop thinking about bipolar all the time. I think accepting the fact that you have bipolar is an important part of recovery and figuring out who you are again. I pretty much accepted the fact that I was bipolar the moment my doctor told me I was having a manic episode. My doctor also recommended me to not go to work, go back to school or even do an internship so I had a lot of time on my own to think about what happened. My doctor did eventually allow me to do an internship since I was recovering really well only after about 8 months after being released from the hospital. I have been diagnosed as bipolar for about a year now and it's only been in the last few months have I settled down and come to peace with who I am. Recovery is a process and there will times when it's good and there will be times when it's bad. There are still times when I do still question who I am and how much of me is bipolar, I think it's part of having any serious mental condition. Knowing one's self is a never ending process with or without bipolar but it's also part of what makes life worth living, life would be so dull if we never grew or changed. I hope, you eventually find out who you again and can find peace with having bipolar. Always remember that you have bipolar but it doesn't have to define who you are.
I liked your characterization of mania. I do believe Plato characterized prophesy as “the manic art.” Mania I believe helped turn me into a singer and songwriter for the Lord. I started singing the Bible. I recently posted “Singing Psalm 1 (ESV)” and “Singing Psalm 2 (ESV) acapella” if you want to check that out. However, I’ve come down for some days so it’s just regular me singing but I got the idea while manic.
While manic I purposely sloooowed my thinking. I’ve Forcibly slowed my internal dialogue so I wouldn’t be snappy and I could stay reasonably kind and thoughtful. Once I got too slow I sped it back up a bit to be normal but it’s better to seem like a slow person than a raving maniac. May the Lord bless you to desire what is pleasing to Him and to walk in His way. Singing the Bible and writing spiritual songs have been deeply therapeutic to me. It’s a place to unleash my energy and bring my mind in tune with the Lord and bring spiritual goodness to others. Just make the Bible a source, an outlet to plug in and receive sanity. “Be sober.”
Lizzie, Its Ok to lower your expectations a bit, so you don't feel depressed. Also, you are always fun to watch when hyper, but it is good for everyone to see you make a video when depressed. Having said that, I think you should edit the video out during a manic episode before uploading ;)
Being on Lithium made me feel like I cut one of my limbs off so I quit it. Which is bad but I miss going through the cycle. There is something thrilling about the rise and the fall. I missed intensity.
Ask to get off the lithium and put on something else, they usually prescribe depakote instead of lithium now a days anyway, but im not a doctor and every case is different
I know that feel sis, i get you 100% I'm hardcore medicated and i go manic all the time , and even if it doesn't happen i just trigger it with different methods on purpose
Right now I really like the vocaloid song "again" by crusher p. One of the lyrics is "every inch of me is charred god what happens to my heart? I'm about to fall apart again again." I find it very relatable
8 ปีที่แล้ว
You are so pretty Lizzje! I have been watching you in many years now! That you are like that, that is what made me start to watch you, that and that i got inspired spiritually! Don´t ever change please :D You are so expressive and energetic, and i love that about you!
I have been on lithium since my very first serious manic episode 7 years ago. Since then I have not experienced the full anxious, halluncinatory mania BUT I have grown incredibly addicted to caffiene in order to stay emotionally secure and productive and awake.. but I think im just triggering some mini mania. The only person I want to be and be seen as is my manic self, at least socially.
one of my fav albums of all time is nothing personal by all time low. also i feel this lizzie:(. but i'd def watch your videos manic or not. you have an amazing brain and great analysis even without the rush of mania
FULL BLOWN MANIA IS NOT AMAZING. maybe, you have "hypomania" a less severe form of mania, but you don't have FULL BLOWN MANIA. if you ever had full blown mania, YOU WOULD WISH AND PRAY, that you could come down from it to a more "depressed state," before you did something horrible. you don't have full blown mania, however, if you let this "hypomania" keep going on, then you can end up with full blown mania. it can become EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. full blown mania can cause you to be HORRIBLY IRRITABLE, ANGRY, WANT TO FIGHT EVERYONE. FULL BLOWN MANIA IS NOT FUN. you have no idea what you're talking about, if you think, that MANIA is all about fun, and creativity, it's not. if you don't get on the proper medication, or take your meds like you are supposed to, you may end up suicidal, or homicidal. alcohol and drugs don't give you any control, they can make you have horrible rebound effects to where you can, become terrifyingly manic. IN FULL BLOWN MANIA one is not creative, they are out of it, they make no sense. if any idiot thinks, that "you're boring" because you take medication, that helps you feel calmer, then you need to take care of yourself. it's better to be "boring" than dead, in prison, or jacked up for life. you "have" bipolar, you are not a bipolar.
DON'T BE A WIMP 101 I agree so much.. mania is worse than depression. I feel like a whole another person whenever I am manic and I basically scare the people around me away because of my behaviour. I say things and do things I normally wouldn't and when I crash into depression, the things I did when I was manic makes me more depressed than i think I normally would do. People change view about you. Depression is normal, people understand depression more than they do with mania, so when I am manic, people just look at me as straight up crazy. It's kind of fun but I feel like I'm out of control but I can't do anything about it
yeah Makkamizza, she seems to have no clue what she could be in store for. maybe, she'll figure it out. maybe not. up to her. she already says, that she skips her meds to get that high feeling, which is irresponsible. she has no idea. people think that persons who are having mania are completely jacked up, and yeah, i her you, it is super depressing when one has to spend all their time alone, rather than have that feeling of deep depression, that comes from people judging them, for something they can't control.
You're right. I watched some documentary of a guy when he was in manic mode, he actually took all the furniture in his house out in his front garden. Hypomania seems good though, I'd still prefer to be bipolar than permanently depressed. I'm always in a low mood 365 days.
+Crimson11100 I hear, that you would rather have Bipolar, then this depression, that you have every single day. It sounds like a total bummer to be so depressed. And I know, that it is having been severely depressed many times in my life. Having Bipolar is something, that can actually happen when a person is depressed for a period of time. It can happen, when a person is being treated for depression with Anti-Depressants. The Anti Depressant Medication can flip a switch in the persons brain causing them to have mania. That's why it's extremely important for Doctors to keep tabs on a person that is starting out on a new Anti-Depressant Medication. BiPolar can also happen without taking any Medication for Depression. The brain just goes from being depressed, to suddenly, out of no where, going into mania. At first it may seem "cool," but just putting the furniture out in the front lawn is mild compared to what could happen. The suicide rate for persons with Bipolar Disorder is high. Bipolar I is more extreme then Bipolar II. Bipolar II is Depression and "hypomania" no full blown mania. Bipolar I has Full Blown Mania, as it's criteria, for diagnosis. It sucks being depressed. I hope, that you can feel better, by medication, or that something happens to fix those chemicals in your brain, that are keeping you depressed. If you'd like to "talk" you can post on my Channel.
Wow, thank you. This really shined some light on my own experience with bipolar disorder. I was only recently diagnosed after living half my adult life with this condition.
"He said it's all in your head." "I said so's everything but he didn't get it. I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy." PAPER BAG by Fiona Apple
I really love David Beckingham. My favorite song by him is Forest: th-cam.com/video/drQAzwW4ZBg/w-d-xo.html He also is a member of the band Hey Ocean. My favorite album of theirs is IS: th-cam.com/video/Dl5FnqkRblM/w-d-xo.html
I can relate to you on every level. I was just diagnosed in September of 2019. I always knew I was off, but I didn't know.. I'm still learning about being manic but wow... it makes so much sense now.. It's good not to feel alone anymore.
I'm about to be 32, and even though I have not been clinically diagnosed yet, I know that BD has become my walking partner in life within the past 5 to 6 years. Not to be a "me too" person but, I am also artistic and if being either manic or depressive still takes a chunk of the brain...I'd rather be manic burning both ends of the candle. Musical......South Park : Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Great video! as an artist and a musician, I really enjoy myself when I'm mania. I write much more greater music. but when I'm depressed, even music becomes less enjoyable.
NEEDTOBREATHE is my all time favorite band albums 3-6. Favorite obsessions of the week: mourning doves, ride by TOP, and leave your lover. Not the happiest of songs.
I'm fighting the urge to go off my medication right now but this video put things back in perspective for me. I would LOVE to go hypomanic but I know I don't really mean that...if that makes sense
My most recent musical infatuation has to be radiohead; at the moment "polyethylene" and "maquiladora" (if thats how u spell it), just cant help myself from loving the sense of freedom in that vibe
I have been manic for as long as I can remember(and I never crashed) but I am SUPER manic what do I do? I also love to be around people but I act "really manic". but I love being this way, there is always something new and exiting and I feel like I have a more exiting life then my friends(and I always wanted that because I would watch TV shows and wish I had an exiting life and now I do). but I don't know what do " I'm like a dog chasing cars I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it, you know. I just... do things"-the joker
my absolutely fav musical album is recovery by eminem bc first i love the way he changed his style in this one and secondly i understand how much it means for him and a lot of his songs speak for my soul, thats why eminem my absolute favourite artist
I listen to different styles of music, but my favorite will always be Rock. MFZB by Zebrahead is one of my favorite albums. It reminds me of my middle school years and high school years. It is the most personal and serious album that they made, and that is why I love it. I had gone through so much pain in my life, and yet, I am still pressing on. I saw them last year, and they did an awesome performance. It was the first time seeing them. I have been a fan for 10 years, and I am happy that they are a part of my life. Rescue Me is really political, and it still relatable today. God use that song to speak to me that the world is chaotic, and I am crying to someone to save me. God can use Non-Christian music to speak to people in an unique way. I also I want to say you look gorgeous, Lizzie! I just want to hug you! Hehe. Good video by the way. I hope you will have a good week. God bless. Stay strong. 💪🏾
hey lizzie! I love how your videos are such a support for those who are in the journey of a mental disorder. I just recommended your channel to a friend of mine whose sister has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and she was beyond glad to get to know you. Keep up with the good work girl. Also my favorite song of all time is actually a portuguese song called "Things I know"... here is the link if you wanna check it out, it's a very introverted song which can always make me calm down in the moments I'm upset "lyricstranslate.com/en/coisas-que-eu-sei-things-i-know.html" I wish you the best, Lizzie! xo
I like how you explain depression. A lot of people think depression is just sadness. I wish I was sad when I was depressed. Feeling nothing is worse than being sad.
I agree SO MUCH. With Bipolar I had hypomania constantly and maybe mixed episodes intertwined throughout that for two or three years. I'd cry every day, feeling the world all the pain of the world and brokenness of people so intensely and so intense crying and then when my depression kicked in...losing all the crying was so awful. I wish so much I could go back to that painful crying. It was so much better than not feeling.
idk if im bipolar or only mood swings. i think i have bipolar but my mom doesnt believe me.i go to pyschologist and she said i have bipolar ans have to buy mood stabilizer. she already recommended my mom where pyschiatrist we should go. but my mom go to another pyschiatrist. and he said i had autism. IM so confused right now.. fyi i feel mania (days-week) kinda less i feel Depressed more (2-3 month) and then i got mad because i know my mom only told the pyschiatrist about my friends issue. and now my mom doesn't want to buy me medicine or even bring me to doctor. fyi im 12. sorry for the grammar
Girls with autism are often misdiagnosed with bipolar but you should be able to talk and explain even if you're only 12 cause your mums experience of you isn't the same as living as you.
avan gardex Keep trying kiddo, do research and reach out to the resources at school. Like your counselors or a teacher you trust, your mom may not ever be able to understand but you still need to make sure you get what you need. Good luck and God bless
my favorite album is Supermodel by Foster the people the lyrics are soooooo deep!! i love your videos so much Lizzie & your mental health videos have been helping me soo much.
oh also the self titled album by Twenty One Pilots omgosh!!! the singer in Twenty One Pilots has dealt with depression & different things & i can't express how much their music has helped me. the self titled album is the deepest i feel like, lyrically haha. i love talking about lyrics & music & i get way too passionate about it lol!
my favourite album is well everything by evanescence because although it is memed their non famous songs have such good meaning and its lyricaly amazing i listen to "good enough" and "missing" when I'm depressed but when I'm manic i listen to "haunted" , "imaginary" and " end of the dream"
Mania is my superpower. The cost is depression sometimes. I'm only slightly BP, and I currently take no meds for it. When I'm manic, I don't sleep much and I do deep dives into research of topics and some pretty amazing things have happened from this. I decided to go back to college in a manic episode. While it took a while, I'm an engineer now. I've learned to play musical instruments, started business ventures, and made some amazing art; all while manic. My doctor thinks I might be better if I leveled out with meds. But, my down periods have never been destructive, so I keep an eye on that closely. My wife get's annoyed when I'm manic as I'm very excited and I spend a lot of time making phone calls and researching things. Many times my research leads to dead ends. But sometimes I make or do something amazing. Even at work, I've made some amazing things that blew away my managers. I have made a few purchases that were maybe too large. Like my 8,000 dollar drum set. BUT, I really do love that drum set and I'll have it for years and decades to come. My wife is kind of my reality check. She challenges me when I'm manic and makes me have to be very sure about what I'm trying to do. If I can't convince her about it then it's likely not a good idea. The other part that makes it hard to not want to stop being manic is that I'm super charismatic when I'm manic. I call old friends. Send thoughtful letters, give out great advice, donate time to charity, so many good things! I may disappear from social circles for a week or two at times, but everything has a cost.
I understand what you're saying about being diagnosed and looking over your personality. It made me question who and what was me and what was hypo mania. It's made family members pin point times or fashion styles or my spending and label it as a hypomania episode when sometimes I just wonder if it's my personality. In high school I was always so energetic and outgoing and fun and since being diagnosed and having episodes I've lost some of my spark. Whether that was because my brain took a bad hit and had to relearn social skills after an episode or it was medication slowing me down or my self esteem has been knocked down and I feel like damaged goods. I really want to be more energetic and random like I use to be but it could also be that I have two kids now that tires me out. One song I like is: little black sandals by sia. I liked painting to it on repeat one time. I'll look up another one that I thought was so beautiful when I was in mixed mania and let you know. Xx
Show me love. Sam feldt. It's amazing, the build up and nature sounds. Made me feel like dancing and felt connected to nature but was feeling sad and irritated with my partner and the words related to wanting him to be more loving and caring when really he was just worried and stressed about me getting sick.... x
I find this video to be slightly concerning and misleading. Mania is not a personality trait; it's not what makes you YOU. Having bipolar is a part of what makes you you and the strength to overcome it also makes you who you are. But please don't conflate mania with good and happy and a part of who you are because it's not. You can't control mania and hypomania the way that you say you can. This is mental illness we're talking about. You don't get to decide how it's going to go when it takes over. That's what treatment and medication is for. You can do things to ease and prevent aspects of it, but please don't say that mania is something to enjoy and proudly state that you've been manic the whole semester. It is not the same thing as just having a whole lot of peppy and motivated and positive energy. It is a symptom of an illness and can get out of hand very quickly. You're playing with fire and encouraging others to do the same. Please by all means say you are a motivated and inspired person and love to create and have loads of energy....but if you're going to claim that, make it YOURS; don't make YOU your illness.
JennInLondon You do not know other people's experience. It has affected me the same way, I'm in highschool and for two years I was on a manic high. I would go with less than 3 hours of sleep a week for months on end while maintaining a 4.10 GPA in college level classes. I had unlimited energy and enthusiasm for everything around me. I wanted to do everything, and I did. It was not natural, it was my mania, it was me. It was me for two years until the depressive cycle began. That mania is a part of me, it gives me the ability to achieve amazing feats and have extreme determination. On mania you are in the moment, you want to have fun all night and never stop. You're always pushing boundaries and making great stories and memories. I enjoy my manic side, it has a huge influence on my personality and how I am even when I'm not hypomanic, I'm always the person who's not done at the party, I could talk to anyone for hours even though when I'm depressed I'm extremely shy and introverted. I would give anything to be on that constant high, and yes sometimes things can be risky or reckless even, but that's my favorite part of myself. It's a huge part of myself, and just because you can't relate to her specific experience with bipolar, doesn't make you right or give you the ability to blindly criticize.
She’s right about being addicted to mania. I’ve tried 2 different drugs and nothing was ever as good as mania. It’s really frustrated and amazing at the same time.
It reminds me of the song "the way I loved you" by Taylor swift. She's saying she has this calm, perfect boy and everything's just the way it should be but she can remember the sweeping, intense, passionate love of her ex and she wants that. And it's kind of like you can choose to have a short, painful, but ethereal and ecstatic life or a long, calm life where you miss out on this other part of yourself. But it's safer. And I can't imagine which I would pick if I were in your situation. I hate reading comments of people telling you bipolar isn't a real disease or that you're believing lies of the devil and I hate it when people tell you to take your medication or to not take your medication. And I don't know what to tell you except to listen to The Weeknd. His music is definitely unchristian but it's beautiful and toxic and it's this window into another life, which I will never have. But one that has a certain allure to it anyways. And I'll pray for you. But not in a pitying way, or in a judging "I'll pray for you" way. But in an intense, unconditional way. Where I wish I could meet and and I wish I could hug you and help you go through this. But I can't. And all I can do is pray that you feel loved and that you know there's this girl miles and miles north of you, sitting in the bedroom who cares for you and wants you to be okay ❤️
Elizabeth Davies this made me cry. like I am crying right now I feel like you really really understand. the way you explained with the song which has always been one of my favorites from her..is exactly what it is it is that choice to delete parts of me that I need, that I love or to let myself be alive and risk dying from killing myself or giving into drinking or accidentally killing myself or hurting someone I love when I'm manic. It is awful that I have to choose. That I have to make the decision. I hate it a lot. How everything was great and chaotic but fully alive and incredibly happy and creative and inspiring and I saw the core absolute best in people and all these detailed facets of beauty in everything and I'd read my bible for hours at a time, pray so intensely, constant spiritual epiphanies connecting different bible verses, I'd pray for people so intensely, pray for myself so intensely. I cried a lot but it is because I felt the world a lot and these is too much evil and pain in the world. I donated impulsively to poverty relief stopped in the middle of the day to pray with random people, listen to them. Everything I feel would emulate into writing. And I loved my classes at school, absolutely loved them. I'd read every single word of my textbooks and annotate them with colored highlighters and pens and take in everything, be so changed transformed by whatever I leaned. and 25 professors were my absolute favorite professor. and 15 people were my absolute best friends. and everyone opened up to me all of what was hurting them and I'd listen and listen and feel all of their emotions like their lives were mine and so I'd care and love and have to pray and no what to say. and I was so incredibly happy, even right after I cried so intensely, I was so incredibly happy. and all of it made me so strong, feeling so hurt so much made me so strong, taught me how to love deeper. but the worst part is even if I delete a lot of this, no one will understand fully understand unless they have bipolar and even then, no. Maybe you do, maybe everyone who follows all my videos can because I can express when I'm feeling. but I've never felt all the parts of me understood. I understand the whole world but I'm not understood. I've given emotional support to so many people for so long, but so much I didn't get that. And I can't a lot of the time, because people cannot understand my brain.
Elizabeth Davies Please please pray for me to never drink, to not buy alcohol because I crave it so much that past couple weeks day craving it all the time. and pray for me to remember to read my bible enough so that I can calm down enough by the end of the day to be able to sleep. and that I'll be able to stay married someday, be in a relationship and not run away because of all of this, and that I'll find a psychiatrist soon like pray for a miracle that I can get an appointment soon. and that all my writing, I can stay so focused and disciplined and organized, committed to one project and make something beautiful that can help a lot of people. and also wisdom, pray for me for God to give me wisdom. I love you! thank you ❤️
LizziesAnswers praying for both of you. life is so confusing it's hard to see gods plan in the midst of despair believe me I've been there and am currently there. my bipolar diagnose stripped me bare of who I thought I was, I still struggle with shame, self worth and believing I'm not damaged goods. but that's the beauty of it we are damaged goods until we sit at the feet of Jesus and let him restore us, and nothing can take away the sanctuary we have in christs presence not even our physiology. while we stumble God remains the same. I will say that although my diagnosis was one of the hardest things I've dealt with, being able to be so broken and see that God still had not abandoned me was the moment in my life that I was able to most clearly see the profound beauty of Christ's forgiveness and resting place. At the very least going through the pain teaches us to empathize and witness to those affected by mental illness in a way that you are unable to if you haven't experienced it. I'm praying that we can trust in God's faithfulness and goodness, to know we are cherished, and that Christ will bring to fruition the relief we seek. this place is not our home and these trials are temporary. I pray that we can believe what we know to be true and not let Satan deceive us with lies of who we are. sending much sisterly love your way. psalms 56:3 when I afraid I put my trust in you.
first I love your videos. 2nd, as much as you love being manic and all your feeling about it I feel the exact way about my depression ep. please tell what you think of that !! 😢💟
It is interesting to watch the Stephn Fry documentary about bipolar. He asks a number of people if they had a choice -- would they continue to be bipolar? Almost all (but one) said they would choose bipolar -- because it is who they are. (sound familiar?)
Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division Good news for people who love bad news by Modest Mouse Speaking in tongues by Talking heads No need to argue by The Cranberries
Could you maybe make a video about mania itselves? How it feels, physicly and emotionally, what you do, how you think, etc? It would be so interesting!
My fav songs would have to be. World so cold by 12 stones and some others by twenty one pilots and a few three days grace songs. But. I just wanted to share something. This video. Helped me so much this morning. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 13. I'm now 19. And I just want to say that it's not gonna be an easy road. There will be tough times. But. When u are manic. Such as one little thing like a flower just making you feel so good. In my experience. I would ask myself. Yes I love this flower and it makes me happy. But is it a healthy happy? With shopping. Buying things I don't need. I relate. But. This is a negative happy. It causes guilt. It can cause money loss. Majorly. So. Even tho it's hard sometimes to slow down those fast thoughts. You kinda just gotta take a step back. And look at the situation. What are all the possibilities of this particular situation. And it's ok to ask for help. Even if you WANT to be alone. Sometimes. It's best to have a buddy. A pet if not a human. But trust me. When you figure your specific balance of happy and sad. You'll look back and realize how much it's worth to be happy. I may be young. But within those 6 years of me getting better. I've listened. And learned a lot. So I send much love and happy prayers to you. 😊 - Alex
I was 14 when I was placed into a psychiatric hospital for adolescence. It was the worst experience I ever had. The head psychiatrist was a piece of work and an ego maniac herself. They ended up jamming a sedative in me within 30 minutes of my arrival and hauling me out of the ward on the four point restraint bed. After that it was constant surveillance by an orderly. 24/7 non stop. I eventually got sick of it. One day I told the psychiatrist I wanted it stopped. She refused it was a song and dance that it was "part of my treatment" or some sing song along that line. I was the only patient in the ward treated that way. Not the dude who would erupt every other day and throw a table across the room nor was it the little asian girl who would strip naked and run down the hall where the patience rooms where at and kick the exit door. Those two didn't get that treatment (or was it mistreatment). So after the refusal, i decided I didn't want to play games anymore. No more group talk, no more seeing the psychiatrist. They threatened me with a baker act, I didn't flinch. after a week of playing the idiot game they wanted out of me, I was discharged. It was against medical advice. During the discharge they tried to claim I showed signs of "paranoia" which upon thinking about that was more than likely they wanted to try to play the paranoid schizophrenic card on me. I stuck my middle finger up behind my back at them as I left. That wasn't the end of my psychiatric woahs but the beginning. I was eventually readmitted almost a year later. My mood took a drastic downturn which was something that was crushing never felt it that bad but then again I have a picture of myself from Christmas of 1988 that shows a flat affect on me, it wasn't long after that the second round occurred. I was placed on an anti-psychotic med and later on once i complained about manic symptoms placed on an anticonvuslive med. I ended up like most bipolar types do and by the age of 17 I quit taking my meds and seeing the doctor all together. In a sense I consigned myself to my own fates. I am now 44 years old and throughout my existence I have shown my maladjusted self for what I am.
Lizzie, I think I understand how being manic actually helps you make your videos. Not only does it give you the energy to both vlog and edit quickly and for long periods of time, but it makes you come across with passion and vitality. However, sometimes I notice in your videos that when you slow down, take a breath, and feel your emotions, I actually feel a deeper connection with you as a person.
I was around someone years ago who was in an extreme manic state, and although he was coming up with an incredible number of amazing Ideas, I noticed that I couldn't handle being around him for very long. This was because my own brain was moving much more slowly than his was, and I was getting exhausted trying to keep up with his energy.
I have great sympathy for you when I realize how addictive mania is, and that you just don't feel like yourself when you're out of that state. I myself tend to have an addictive personality, and can easily get addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, the Internet, etc. So I'm aware how powerful addiction can be. Thank you for sharing your experience with bipolar - it is very enlightening.
If I could be hypo manic for like 10 years I could be so rich. Let’s gooooo!
Yep. Pretty frustrating disorder.
I’ve wondered if it was possible to be addicted to manic episodes. If they’re caused by a flood of dopamine to the brain it’s very similar to drug use.
mbrady715
Agreed.
After being in depression for over a year, I'm tried of it. I want to be manic and it is an addiction. I just don't know how to trigger it. I just want to be hypomanic because it makes me productive, but I've never really been hypomanic. I always skip that into mania and then into psychosis. I really shouldn’t be manic for that reason, but I want to be happy even if it is fake.
This entire video resonated with me tremendously! I went through a period of extreme mania when I was wrongly diagnosed as depressed and consequently put on antidepressants - the antidepressants minus mood stabilizers had me so manic but to me - life was amazing, I was happy, this was the way it was meant to be. This all happened during the latter years of high school and before college so it was a pivotal point in my life, I really got to know myself during these years, it's when I made most of my good friends, it wasn't until the mania got really bad that I was then diagnosed with bipolar II and since then it's been such a struggle, obviously medication is hard but like you said many times: manic me, is just me - it's who everybody got to know and love, it's what got me into the yearbook, it's the social, happy, energetic me, without the mania the best parts of me are gone. For a while (and you might've gone through this too, I assume just because our situation seems very similiar and this is commmon amongst bipolar people) my abundant energy and social skills were thought to be due to ADHD, and it wasn't the fidgety type of ADHD it's the person who can't stand not being aroudn people, talking, socializing and just being the center of energy, just goes to show what my manic epsisodes are like.
Brian Zamora Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate to @embelina18
Mania feels amazing! You can finally be yourself and express yourself.
I relate to every single thing you mentioned in this video. You just explained it better than I ever could have. I'm showing this video to everyone.
❤️❤️❤️
That's exactly how I feel. Like with depression I've lost who I am. It's the reason I go so deep into my depression because I spend so much time reflecting on who I was (happy, passionate, inspired, creative, loving & everything is so clear) then I'm depressed n I lose all that. I'm suddenly highly anxious, paranoid, sad, unmotivated and always in deep thought. That's when I start trying to find ways to trigger mania. Hasn't worked out for me yet though.
I completely relate. My mania has gotten me so many rewards and so much love. When I'm not manic, it's like I'm disposable. The treatment from people makes me want to stay glued to my bed and it sucks. I end up drinking to get my personality back and the cycle continues.
LISTEN TO THIS SONG!! Especially the second verse, I feel like it could've been written about mania: th-cam.com/video/BtvJaNeELic/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=LordeVEVO
I have never had joy with my bipolar..my mania is tied to my depression and rage goes hand in hand.. yet..I am who I am and can not control myself with any of it. it happens..the only thing that helps is the medication if only i can stop forgetting to take it.
Sewing for dolls how early do u get up mine id 5:00 am
and i feel a rush
I sleep in..until like 12pm or later but I can't usually fall asleep until 3am or 4 am and then that is only 6 hours of sleep
environment and current life circumstances has an influence on my level of euphoria when im manic
Keep doing research, online or talking to doctors, reach out to people with the same struggle. Eventually you will find something that works as long as you don't give up, there's an answer out there for you. Meditation, therapy, journalling, medication, whatever works. For example, different ways to help you remember your pills: put them next to bed with a bottled drink so it's the first and last thing you see (morning/night), put it in your bathroom or kitchen where you pass it everyday, set an alarm where you just wake up to take them then go back to bed. I know from experience, you can't let yourself be held back. Do everything you can to take your pills regularly if they help, make that your goal for the day, give yourself a gift or prize if you go a week without skipping any doses.
Your description is fairly common. Few people go to the dr complaining about mania. I get your point. But be careful.
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. I experience mixed symptoms. You're not alone. And this video is greatly appreciated.
And thank you for talking about bipolar disorder. It's been helping me to understand what I'm going through when I have no clue what is going on. Mania is definitely the upside of this disorder.
Jodi Noel Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
Bipolar mania to me feels exactly like mdma. When manic it feels the same as when I have taken mdma in the past.
I have just been diagnosed since September, and you are the only person so far that has described word-for-word how I am when I am hypomanic: the wanting to isolate yourself because you are so focused on the projects or works that you are so into and the "autopilot" feeling and being aware of your thoughts and actions but not really being able to control them. I've been watching your videos for quite awhile now, and I'd like to say your videos are a breath of fresh air and you are really inspiring :)
Audrey Colleen Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
Your videos about mental health help me so much. I'm pretty sure I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, and your videos have been so comforting. I no longer feel alone and confused; I finally see that others go through similar experiences as me. Thank you so much, Lizzie. I've been watching your videos for about four years now and you have helped me through so many different struggles in my life. Thank you. :)
Ella Hendrickson Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
Your experiences are so similar to mine. Stay strong. I'm just getting out of a manic episode and it's tough. It's like I put off the whole world when I'm manic and just do my creative projects and art and don't think about anyone else. I know how that feels.
A.M. Bise I'm the same way, follow me on Instagram @embelina18 I'm trying to find people I can relate to
The problem with the high productivity of writing while manic, is it is often necessary to edit it when you're more stable. A lot of raw manic thoughts need to be reigned in.
Let it run free. Don't filter yourself.
I totally know what you are feeling man...
For anyone out there that can relate to someway, shape, or form to my personal story know that you truly aren't alone...
Before I had my manic episode 3 years ago I didn't realize the signs.
It's strange because before it happened I had a severe panic attack
(which I had never experienced) and had become totally bed-sick. But
after my panic attack I slowly got better but I started to isolate
myself more & more, go on long walks (with music in my ears from
various artists such as Eminem, video Game music like Final Fantasy,
Silent Hill, Hotline Miami etc.), I was also composing a lot more music
and creating a lot more art in a state where I felt truly free and
myself. This was happening during the summer so I had constantly had an
addictive routine of working out, walking with my music, creating/making
music, constantly writing (which I naturally do anyways but had turned
into a state of Hypergraphia), I had also been reading more books than
usual and was reading at an alarming rate where I could absorb
information on a very energetic level. The books I had read that summer
were the song of ice and fire books (a game of thrones) and the Dune
series and I started to relate a lot to the characters and really put
myself into that world because I was starting to become more
manic/hypo-manic. I remember it quite clearly now when the signs were
starting to take effect (but I didn't realize it at the time): I was
swimming and I started to think of everything having an opposite (It was
like finding an oxymoron word for every word that popped in my brain).
For example, I would think of war and peace, light and dark, love and
hate, Ice and Fire etc...and this was like an epiphany I was having. I
had called it a "Noe-enlightenment" and felt like I was cracking the
ultimate code for the universe and that I was evolving or gaining
superpowers. Since I was always into vampires and the The Vampire
Chronicles series by Anne Rice I started to believe that I was a vampire
or descended from Dracula but then I would see myself as like a
"God-like" figure. So what I experienced was a God-complex no doubt in
my mind. But the peaks kept going and I did not need to eat much or
sleep much and if I slept for one or two hours it felt like I slept for 8
or 9 hours. I enjoyed my solitude but at the same time I enjoyed going
out and people enjoyed my company not really fully knowing what was
going on. Since my personality is very outgoing and always try to by
myself it was like I felt it was the best version of myself with "super
powers" (I even thought I had telepathy and could communicate with
certain friends like the book The Chrysalids)). I would listen and
analyze every word a person would say and sometimes certain words would
trigger me and I would find a way to be really passionate and sometimes
aggressive with my words. Also my sexual energy/mood was very intense
and I would have very strong primal fantasies which I had never
experienced before ( I literally never needed to watch porn again
because of how visual my brain/mind had become). Basically I felt like
all my emotions were open and that I let my senses roam free yet at the
same time I felt intensely brave and that I was finally awake forever. I
saw it kind of like enlightenment or a gift that was given to me by God
or some deity. I started to even write on my wall with markers and I
still keep what I wrote as a reminder and kind of like a guide and/or
"road map" into my own brain/mind. However the grave mistake I think a
person if they are in a manic state should not do: reading the
bible...particularly the revelations (from John). All the feelings,
emotions, senses I had when I was becoming and became manic reflected
what this particular chapter of the bible was communicating to me. Since
I had such a severe God Complex I began to follow the scripture and
felt literally the world was going to be washed away in blood and that I
would have to be one of the few survivors. So I was reading the
revelations a little bit day by day feeding into my mania making me peak
even more...at one point (bad luck as it was ) I even saw a Gardner
snake on my driveway coming towards me and I stomped on it with my
sandle just like Jesus had when he was tempted by Satan. So I was
starting to see literal metaphors for everything from the bible and what
I had been reading (game of thrones etc.)...I felt that there were now
higher forces judging me even when I was creating so now I wasn't
creating for me but out of the bible. So what was a God Complex now
became a fully fledged Messianic Complex or as I call it now a Jesus
Complex. I felt that I was literally Jesus Christ incarnate and that the
revelations were happening here on Earth and that false prophets roamed
our earth and that there would be fire and rivers of blood to cleanse
the world. So my fear was growing and I saw the number seven in
everything (just like the seven seals in the revelations) and I felt
that apocalypse/judgement day was coming. I had packed my bag with all
the belongings I felt were important and I went to the hindu temple by
my house because I thought God was going to be in his throne along with
"my wives waiting for me" ( I even had rings ready for "my wives").
Luckily my parents were aware of my behaviour and kept a close eye on
me...my dad was there when I went to the temple and that was when I
slowly started to realize the reality of what was happening. I had
broken down...crashed so to speak...and what was once a Messianic/Jesus
complex faded that into that of a man again. I had gone from a God
Complex, to a Jesus Complex, to me being "normal" again (which wasn't
manic anymore). There were still some lingering effects of the mania but
it took a couple days for it to dissipate and I was saddened that I may
never experience it again. Funny thing is as I was becoming manic I
knew or had some idea in the back of my mind but allowed my mind to
experience all of these complexes because I literally felt like a kid
again where I could really have a form of suspension of disbelief. I had
developed these philosophies of how I tricked my mind/brain to get
there or better yet I felt that I had cracked my mind in order to
experience this state. In retrospect, the Bible was a beautiful
experience but it was also very dangerous because it made my peaks climb
faster and become more intense. I think if I hadn't read it while in a
manic state I would have probably better managed myself and allowed
myself to ease back down from the "ride" or manic state. I have to be
honest I do miss that state of MANIA but it can become self-destructive (
kind of like a sith lord in Star Wars...which is what I felt I was
while I was manic as well). Now I feel to have a fairly balanced
lifestyle and haven't had a manic state quite like that ever again.I
realized over time that in my youth/ teenage years in high school that I
was most likely manic for four years because I was obsessed with doing
my school work...I wouldn't sleep and eat properly because I had anxiety
or pressure because of the grades we had to get for universities. But I
placed that pressure on myself and despite it not being healthy I also
at the same time learned the value of hard-work, making sacrifices, and
what balance really means (I'm still learning that and will always try
to I'm a Libra for crying out loud). I mean yeah the doctor is
going to label it Bi-Polar (Type 1 or Type 2) but I really do believe
that having a manic state or state of hypo-mania can happen to anyone.
It just depends on the individual and the type of experience they are
having. How they deal with it or embrace it is up to them and we always
need help. MEMES are nice or a funny way to show things on the internet
but it's also a clever way for people to cry out with their own problems
when they are too ashamed of sharing their personal stories with the
fear of being laughed at or labelled a "freak". Sometimes the joke gets
lost when people are looking for help and people say when it's too late:
"I didn't see the signs" or " I had no idea". Some of the most
brilliant minds like Bobby Fischer or Brian Wilson are just some of the
examples that madness and greatness are sometimes on both sides of the
same coin. The point is whether you are Bi-Polar, Schizophrenic, or are
just going through a certain mental state/trauma/episode it's important
to find a positive outlet be it through music, art, fitness, being in a
group or having a person you actually trust to talk with, and so forth.
Sometimes we each deal with our shadow and demons in different ways and
we are strong and weak in different ways with the personal journeys we
are taking.
My favorite band is Animal Collective because when I was in a really long depression they actually made me FEEL something. Over the summer I listened to their album Feels (no pun intended) all the way through literally once a day
GreatestSociety oh man same
Absolute same
You’re right. I only feel like myself in hypomania. I been depressed for like 1 year straight and now that I’m hypo I feel normal and I don’t want it to end.
this is one hundred percent relatable. I was just diagnosed a year ago also and I remember first craving the high and missing it.
Mary Carlson Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
Hey I think I'm bipolar also but really you can control things a lot more than you think by staying aware of what is happening like I feel sad but it's chemical it's not reality and so on you can decide and have a strategy for these occasions there is nothing wrong with being awake and in touch with the world if you take your medication what will happens is eventually you will feel more awake permanently and you won't have lows like the ones you have now. The medications acts by attacking your brain so it has to react and this is what sets it back to balance. So it's hard st first but if you are consistent you will see how you come back to life and feel yourself in a much more stable and functional way. Really the biggest struggle is if you have ppl around you who don't understand the disease which is usually the case. All my best to you I know we can both get this disease in check step by step it also really makes me struggle in life I hate it but it's possible to get it under control. Much love for your openness
*c4arla* and *Jaefar SABNW* would you give this advice not to take any medication to someone having Hallucinations, and Delusions with Schizophrenia? You obviously don't have severe Bipolar, or maybe, don't even have it at all, or you would NOT be giving out such strange advice.
*Jaefar SABNW* you don't have Bipolar, or you wouldn't talk like this. It's easy to dish out advice when you arent the one suffering.
+Duv Luv very aware of that unfortunately.
Thank you! That whole thing you mentioned where you know what you're doing is bad, but you can't stop it... I feel that so much the "Why am I even doing this?" and everyone around me will just say "well if you know it's bad then why don't you just stop?" and they don't seem to realize that I can be aware, but still not be able to control it... And I thought it was just me being crazy. But to hear that you feel it as well, that makes it feel less insane...
i just want the same feeling but im not taking my pill I NEED THE SAME FEELING PLEASE
I swear, I feel the same way. You explained this feeling so well. My husband tells me all the time, that I am not my disorder... it's so entwined within me. It is difficult for those who do not experience this to fully grasp how closely I relate my true self to my mania.
Watch this too!! I talk in-depth on the whole entwined with identity thing: th-cam.com/video/vqyJDwhuQog/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=LizziesAnswers
Muddymuddles Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
I know this is old but thank you so so much. I've been subscribed for a while now but I had no idea that you made this series. Thank you, I needed this.
when I'm manic I like getting into things like fights and other thrill seeking things and I'm really irittable
It Might be due to the depression flip i have been in for over a year. But yes the manic is awesome for focus and productivity. I was diagnosed with bi polar about 4 months ago and thinking about it all my counselling has been for depression and I barraly remember the fun part of it. I am glad to see someone openly talking about what this is like because nobody out side of bi polar does understand the multifaceted people that it creates us to be.
Lizzie ! I am 25 I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 16 . I have been extremely manic for about s month . I crashed into angry manic maybe even depressing just today's, Idk yet . I've been battling this for years and when I am
Manic I know I am but I try to ignore it and i tell myself this is who I actually am and I am not bipolar . I hate it. I love my uniqueness or uniqueness of being bipolar but I want to vent and like you said people who are not bipolar don't understand . Just watching your video made me feel better and understood . Thanks . I love John Mayer "who says" and "say what you need to say " actually most if not all
Of his songs .
Diana Cris Vlogs Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate to @embelina18 I'm always here to talk or vent to!
I only experienced hypomania my whole life until I reached my mid thirties. Then I lost 6 years to depression, literally lived in my bedroom. Then I took Wellbutrin and spent 3 weeks hypomanic and crashed. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get it back. The pills aren't doing it, even after doubling my dose. I'm looking for triggers. I'd be crazy not to.
I'm bipolar and it's been hard finding out. Lost my best friend and partner, I just got out of the hospital from a breakdown. I almost killed myself and in some ways I wish I would have. I hate this illness and how it makes me feel. The meds work most days but the crash is real. It takes a long time to come out of it. I listen to Drake and Anita Baker to calm me down a lot. Being manic is great cause the person I am is who I want the world to see. When I'm not him I'm so down and I view the world as looking at me as I have failed. I just watch your videos for insight into this illness. I have no guide to help me.
4 years but i didn't know as much as u do on year 1 i found that it is incredibly complex to manage it as there's no constant thing u can do to fix it
Thank you so much for this video and if you ever write a book I'll definitely buy it
Your amazing ;) I love your personality and how you are not going to let people stop u from making videos ;)
i feel like you are taking words right out of my mouth. i have self diagnosed myself with bipolar disorder and i feel like i wouldn't know who i would be if i wasn't... i think its a blessing to be bipolar. when i drop to the depression i don't feel sad, i don't feel anything actually i just feel completely numb... in my mania episodes my mind is racing to the point where i can't even understand myself, its too magical and i have become very spiritual, i have trouble sleeping in my manic episodes often staying up all night just researching about things I'm passionate about and i write some really crazy stuff haha and create and draw a lot and i read soon much like multiple books at the same time when I'm in a manic episode and i have isolated myself completely, i find it difficult to build friendships because i am so focused on myself, like i don't even want to see anyone because I'm just way too happy all by my self! i have only started doing research about bipolar yesterday after i saw my phsyichiatrist who put me on valprease to make my moods more stable and i was reading the information about the drug and it said, 'often used for epilepsy and then i saw it said mania and i searched up what that meant and it is so mee! the moods mainly switch from hypomania and mania, and sometimes depression but not that often because i look after myself :) glad i have been reading about it all because it just makes so much sense! by the way i have a brain injury i got hit by a car 3 years ago and it would make sense that i have had bipolar disorder ever since because after i got hit i dropped to a really dark stage in my life but slowly finding myself and now that i have brought out the inner child within me i have never been happier!! sending all my love darling one you seem like you know what you're doing :) good luck!!
all of your videos are really really helpful so thank you sooo much!
mathilda vazille I completely understand this
Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
God I understand you have euphoric mania like me plus there are other types of mania which feel unpleasant like mixed mania
I impulsively buy stuff. Especially online. My brother committed suicide. We think he had depression. I understand him better now. Thank you. Luke Bryan or Cimorelli.
I had mania once in 95 it lasted a day or so, no drugs or alcohol involved. I remember it was a sunny cold day and I felt on top of the world and invincible. always though I wanted the feeling back. but after seeing this I'm not sure I do
thank you so much! I love the Mania part of the cycle and will try to keep myself there as long as possible. I have done a lot of amazing things in the midst of my mania. No one has ever voiced it the way you have. Most of the time no one can tell that I am Bipolar because I hide during my depressive cycle and can fake the mania in short bursts. It's like my own dirty little secret weapon.
Also, Diluted by Slipknot-
I'm cold, I'm ugly
I'm always confused by everything
I can stare into a thousand eyes
But every smile hides a bold-faced lie
It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes
My heroes are dead, they died in my head
Thin out the herd, squeeze out the pain
Something inside me has opened up again
Thoughts of me exemplified
All the little flaws I have denied
Forget today, forget whatever happened
Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies
I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
I save all the bullets from ignorant minds
Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind
Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens
I decrease, while my symptoms increase
God what the fuck is wrong
You act like you knew it all along
Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing
All I ever wanted out of you was
Something you could never be
Now take a real good look at
What you've fucking done to me
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
Gimme any reason why I'd need you, boy
Gimme any reason why I'd need you
Gimme any reason why I'd need you
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up
Gimme any reason why I'd need you, bitch
Gimme any reason why I'd need you
Gimme any reason why I'd need you
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up
I see you in me, I see you in me
I see you in me, I see you in me
I see you in me, I see you in me
I see you in me, I see you in me
I keep my scars from prying eyes
Incapable of ever knowing why
Somebody breathe, I've got to have an answer
Why am I so fascinated by
Bigger pictures, better things
But I don't care what you think
You'll never understand me
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
Fuck
Reed Hipp I love slipknot but I never came across this song and now it's my new favorite because reading those lyrics is how I feel a lot.
just a vegan Definitely. Slipknot is my favorite, I understand and feel the lyrics that Corey writes.
I love being manic other than being depressed or in a zombie like state. My manic episodes come out every few years...I wish they occurred more often as I feel at my best in that state of mind. I've actually tried to induce my mania by not taking my meds and failed miserably. Last manic episode lasted a month and I loved every minute of it. I was getting shit done, had thousands of ideas that I wrote down in a journal. It's just the greatest high for me. I would prefer my manic self over my normal (medicated) self. So I know where Lizzie and those like her are coming from. I, personally, can't wait till the next episode. I'm just being real, honest and open about it. Especially on how it affects me and my psyche. Till we meet again in the next manic episode :):
Thanks for sharing this video Lizzie
I remember I was a complete mess right after I was released from the hospital. I didn't like my manic especially when I started to have paranoia and psychosis so I was quite happy to get help. For the first couple of months after I was released from the hospital I didn't even know who I was anymore, I was completely loss. I spent the time trying to find out how much about me was bipolar, how about me was aspergers and how much was actually me. It was a difficult and long period of self examination and self reflection. I kept thinking about all the times that I was possibly hypomanic, all the times I was depressed and was i thinking when i was manic. I kept asking the question about who I was, it was a painful period in my life as I was also suffering anxiety and a mild depression once my mania subsided. It was only after many months did I fully recover. I am grateful now that I have a better perspective of who I am now and that I am now finally able to live my life fully as I finally now know what has been plaguing me for year and I am medicated against it.
I am so glad you have survived all of this and have been able to recover, get control of your brain! ♥♥♥ This book I love and HIGHLY recommend is called "Welcome to the Jungle" and it explains all the self reflection existential crisis type stuff and even says that one positive of having bipolar is that although really painful and disorienting, we get to know ourselves with this extreme detail that we otherwise wouldn't see an understand. How did you get to a point where you fully KNEW that you know who you are? I feel like for me it will never end, that I'll always be questioning what was real and what of me is real.
Thanks for the book suggestion, I'll look it up.
I think the moment I knew who I was again was a few months after I started doing an internship and getting back into the working world, I think having a something to do everyday outside bipolar is an important part of recovery and gaining back control of your life.
Before I was doing my internship, I was spending a lot of time journaling my thoughts down to figure out who I was. I also spent quite a bit of time talking to friends about my condition which helped. I also spent a bit time painting and traveling which helped me to stop thinking about bipolar all the time. I think accepting the fact that you have bipolar is an important part of recovery and figuring out who you are again. I pretty much accepted the fact that I was bipolar the moment my doctor told me I was having a manic episode. My doctor also recommended me to not go to work, go back to school or even do an internship so I had a lot of time on my own to think about what happened. My doctor did eventually allow me to do an internship since I was recovering really well only after about 8 months after being released from the hospital.
I have been diagnosed as bipolar for about a year now and it's only been in the last few months have I settled down and come to peace with who I am. Recovery is a process and there will times when it's good and there will be times when it's bad. There are still times when I do still question who I am and how much of me is bipolar, I think it's part of having any serious mental condition. Knowing one's self is a never ending process with or without bipolar but it's also part of what makes life worth living, life would be so dull if we never grew or changed.
I hope, you eventually find out who you again and can find peace with having bipolar. Always remember that you have bipolar but it doesn't have to define who you are.
I liked your characterization of mania. I do believe Plato characterized prophesy as “the manic art.” Mania I believe helped turn me into a singer and songwriter for the Lord. I started singing the Bible. I recently posted “Singing Psalm 1 (ESV)” and “Singing Psalm 2 (ESV) acapella” if you want to check that out. However, I’ve come down for some days so it’s just regular me singing but I got the idea while manic.
While manic I purposely sloooowed my thinking. I’ve Forcibly slowed my internal dialogue so I wouldn’t be snappy and I could stay reasonably kind and thoughtful. Once I got too slow I sped it back up a bit to be normal but it’s better to seem like a slow person than a raving maniac. May the Lord bless you to desire what is pleasing to Him and to walk in His way. Singing the Bible and writing spiritual songs have been deeply therapeutic to me. It’s a place to unleash my energy and bring my mind in tune with the Lord and bring spiritual goodness to others. Just make the Bible a source, an outlet to plug in and receive sanity. “Be sober.”
Omg this is totally how I feel 😭
Lizzie, Its Ok to lower your expectations a bit, so you don't feel depressed. Also, you are always fun to watch when hyper, but it is good for everyone to see you make a video when depressed. Having said that, I think you should edit the video out during a manic episode before uploading ;)
Being on Lithium made me feel like I cut one of my limbs off so I quit it. Which is bad but I miss going through the cycle. There is something thrilling about the rise and the fall. I missed intensity.
Ask to get off the lithium and put on something else, they usually prescribe depakote instead of lithium now a days anyway, but im not a doctor and every case is different
I know that feel sis, i get you 100% I'm hardcore medicated and i go manic all the time , and even if it doesn't happen i just trigger it with different methods on purpose
VatiX96 What kind of methods have worked for you? I've been on the depressive side for too long and it's killing me.
VatiX96 what methods do you have that may trigger mania or hypomania if you don't mind my asking
Right now I really like the vocaloid song "again" by crusher p. One of the lyrics is "every inch of me is charred god what happens to my heart? I'm about to fall apart again again." I find it very relatable
You are so pretty Lizzje! I have been watching you in many years now! That you are like that, that is what made me start to watch you, that and that i got inspired spiritually! Don´t ever change please :D You are so expressive and energetic, and i love that about you!
I have been on lithium since my very first serious manic episode 7 years ago. Since then I have not experienced the full anxious, halluncinatory mania BUT I have grown incredibly addicted to caffiene in order to stay emotionally secure and productive and awake.. but I think im just triggering some mini mania. The only person I want to be and be seen as is my manic self, at least socially.
one of my fav albums of all time is nothing personal by all time low. also i feel this lizzie:(. but i'd def watch your videos manic or not. you have an amazing brain and great analysis even without the rush of mania
matthew good - Vancouver is my favorite of mine.... also tool. loved the Sia at the end,she is amazing!
FULL BLOWN MANIA IS NOT AMAZING. maybe, you have "hypomania" a less severe form of mania, but you don't have FULL BLOWN MANIA. if you ever had full blown mania, YOU WOULD WISH AND PRAY, that you could come down from it to a more "depressed state," before you did something horrible. you don't have full blown mania, however, if you let this "hypomania" keep going on, then you can end up with full blown mania. it can become EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. full blown mania can cause you to be HORRIBLY IRRITABLE, ANGRY, WANT TO FIGHT EVERYONE. FULL BLOWN MANIA IS NOT FUN. you have no idea what you're talking about, if you think, that MANIA is all about fun, and creativity, it's not.
if you don't get on the proper medication, or take your meds like you are supposed to, you may end up suicidal, or homicidal.
alcohol and drugs don't give you any control, they can make you have horrible rebound effects to where you can, become terrifyingly manic.
IN FULL BLOWN MANIA one is not creative, they are out of it, they make no sense. if any idiot thinks, that "you're boring" because you take medication, that helps you feel calmer, then you need to take care of yourself. it's better to be "boring" than dead, in prison, or jacked up for life.
you "have" bipolar, you are not a bipolar.
DON'T BE A WIMP 101 I agree so much.. mania is worse than depression. I feel like a whole another person whenever I am manic and I basically scare the people around me away because of my behaviour. I say things and do things I normally wouldn't and when I crash into depression, the things I did when I was manic makes me more depressed than i think I normally would do. People change view about you. Depression is normal, people understand depression more than they do with mania, so when I am manic, people just look at me as straight up crazy. It's kind of fun but I feel like I'm out of control but I can't do anything about it
yeah Makkamizza, she seems to have no clue what she could be in store for. maybe, she'll figure it out. maybe not. up to her. she already says, that she skips her meds to get that high feeling, which is irresponsible. she has no idea. people think that persons who are having mania are completely jacked up, and yeah, i her you, it is super depressing when one has to spend all their time alone, rather than have that feeling of deep depression, that comes from people judging them, for something they can't control.
You're right. I watched some documentary of a guy when he was in manic mode, he actually took all the furniture in his house out in his front garden. Hypomania seems good though, I'd still prefer to be bipolar than permanently depressed. I'm always in a low mood 365 days.
+Crimson11100 I hear, that you would rather have Bipolar, then this
depression, that you have every single day. It sounds like a total
bummer to be so depressed. And I know, that it is having been severely
depressed many times in my life.
Having Bipolar is something, that can actually happen when a person is depressed for a period of time. It can happen, when a person is being treated for depression with Anti-Depressants. The Anti Depressant Medication can flip a switch in the persons brain causing them to have mania. That's why it's extremely important for Doctors to keep tabs on a person that is starting out on a new Anti-Depressant Medication.
BiPolar can also happen without taking any Medication for Depression. The brain just goes from being depressed, to suddenly, out of no where, going into mania. At first it may seem "cool," but just putting the furniture out in the front lawn is mild compared to what could happen. The suicide rate for persons with Bipolar Disorder is high. Bipolar I is more extreme then Bipolar II. Bipolar II is Depression and "hypomania" no full blown mania. Bipolar I has Full Blown Mania, as it's criteria, for diagnosis.
It sucks being depressed. I hope, that you can feel better, by medication, or that something happens to fix those chemicals in your brain, that are keeping you depressed.
If you'd like to "talk" you can post on my Channel.
DON'T BE A WIMP 101 I was bipolar II and cycled to hypomania and depressed. it's very unnerving what I went through.
LIZZIE AND ALL YOU OTHER BEAUTIFUL MANIC PEOPLE: LOOK UP THIS SONG: "TR/ST. BICEP" 😃
OMG. THANK YOU
Wow, thank you. This really shined some light on my own experience with bipolar disorder. I was only recently diagnosed after living half my adult life with this condition.
"He said it's all in your head." "I said so's everything but he didn't get it. I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy." PAPER BAG by Fiona Apple
I loved u manic but this is very comforting I could one day be as put together as you seem in this video!
Wendy Wilkie Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate to @embelina18
I really love David Beckingham.
My favorite song by him is Forest:
th-cam.com/video/drQAzwW4ZBg/w-d-xo.html
He also is a member of the band Hey Ocean. My favorite album of theirs is IS:
th-cam.com/video/Dl5FnqkRblM/w-d-xo.html
I can relate to you on every level. I was just diagnosed in September of 2019. I always knew I was off, but I didn't know.. I'm still learning about being manic but wow... it makes so much sense now..
It's good not to feel alone anymore.
I have bipolar 2 AND I FEEL THIS VIDEO SO MUCH 😭😭
I'm about to be 32, and even though I have not been clinically diagnosed yet, I know that BD has become my walking partner in life within the past 5 to 6 years. Not to be a "me too" person but, I am also artistic and if being either manic or depressive still takes a chunk of the brain...I'd rather be manic burning both ends of the candle. Musical......South Park : Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Great video!
as an artist and a musician, I really enjoy myself when I'm mania. I write much more greater music. but when I'm depressed, even music becomes less enjoyable.
NEEDTOBREATHE is my all time favorite band albums 3-6. Favorite obsessions of the week: mourning doves, ride by TOP, and leave your lover. Not the happiest of songs.
I'm fighting the urge to go off my medication right now but this video put things back in perspective for me. I would LOVE to go hypomanic but I know I don't really mean that...if that makes sense
My most recent musical infatuation has to be radiohead; at the moment "polyethylene" and "maquiladora" (if thats how u spell it), just cant help myself from loving the sense of freedom in that vibe
I have been manic for as long as I can remember(and I never crashed) but I am SUPER manic what do I do? I also love to be around people but I act "really manic". but I love being this way, there is always something new and exiting and I feel like I have a more exiting life then my friends(and I always wanted that because I would watch TV shows and wish I had an exiting life and now I do). but I don't know what do " I'm like a dog chasing cars I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it, you know. I just... do things"-the joker
my absolutely fav musical album is recovery by eminem bc first i love the way he changed his style in this one and secondly i understand how much it means for him and a lot of his songs speak for my soul, thats why eminem my absolute favourite artist
I listen to different styles of music, but my favorite will always be Rock. MFZB by Zebrahead is one of my favorite albums. It reminds me of my middle school years and high school years. It is the most personal and serious album that they made, and that is why I love it. I had gone through so much pain in my life, and yet, I am still pressing on. I saw them last year, and they did an awesome performance. It was the first time seeing them. I have been a fan for 10 years, and I am happy that they are a part of my life. Rescue Me is really political, and it still relatable today. God use that song to speak to me that the world is chaotic, and I am crying to someone to save me. God can use Non-Christian music to speak to people in an unique way. I also I want to say you look gorgeous, Lizzie! I just want to hug you! Hehe. Good video by the way. I hope you will have a good week. God bless. Stay strong. 💪🏾
Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing, it feels good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
In order to be addicted to mania u need to have more then one time.
hey lizzie! I love how your videos are such a support for those who are in the journey of a mental disorder. I just recommended your channel to a friend of mine whose sister has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and she was beyond glad to get to know you. Keep up with the good work girl.
Also my favorite song of all time is actually a portuguese song called "Things I know"... here is the link if you wanna check it out, it's a very introverted song which can always make me calm down in the moments I'm upset "lyricstranslate.com/en/coisas-que-eu-sei-things-i-know.html"
I wish you the best, Lizzie! xo
I like how you explain depression. A lot of people think depression is just sadness. I wish I was sad when I was depressed. Feeling nothing is worse than being sad.
I agree SO MUCH. With Bipolar I had hypomania constantly and maybe mixed episodes intertwined throughout that for two or three years. I'd cry every day, feeling the world all the pain of the world and brokenness of people so intensely and so intense crying and then when my depression kicked in...losing all the crying was so awful. I wish so much I could go back to that painful crying. It was so much better than not feeling.
idk if im bipolar or only mood swings. i think i have bipolar but my mom doesnt believe me.i go to pyschologist and she said i have bipolar ans have to buy mood stabilizer. she already recommended my mom where pyschiatrist we should go. but my mom go to another pyschiatrist. and he said i had autism. IM so confused right now.. fyi i feel mania (days-week) kinda less i feel Depressed more (2-3 month) and then i got mad because i know my mom only told the pyschiatrist about my friends issue. and now my mom doesn't want to buy me medicine or even bring me to doctor. fyi im 12. sorry for the grammar
Girls with autism are often misdiagnosed with bipolar but you should be able to talk and explain even if you're only 12 cause your mums experience of you isn't the same as living as you.
avan gardex Keep trying kiddo, do research and reach out to the resources at school. Like your counselors or a teacher you trust, your mom may not ever be able to understand but you still need to make sure you get what you need. Good luck and God bless
my favorite album is Supermodel by Foster the people the lyrics are soooooo deep!! i love your videos so much Lizzie & your mental health videos have been helping me soo much.
oh also the self titled album by Twenty One Pilots omgosh!!! the singer in Twenty One Pilots has dealt with depression & different things & i can't express how much their music has helped me. the self titled album is the deepest i feel like, lyrically haha. i love talking about lyrics & music & i get way too passionate about it lol!
Stay Strong-Love Ur Work ,!
I produced a movie once about a girl who was kidnapped and injected with drugs. Lol. I hope that doesn’t happen very often.
I am a lot more functional when euphorically manic
my favourite album is well everything by evanescence because although it is memed their non famous songs have such good meaning and its lyricaly amazing i listen to "good enough" and "missing" when I'm depressed but when I'm manic i listen to "haunted" , "imaginary" and " end of the dream"
Mania is my superpower. The cost is depression sometimes. I'm only slightly BP, and I currently take no meds for it. When I'm manic, I don't sleep much and I do deep dives into research of topics and some pretty amazing things have happened from this. I decided to go back to college in a manic episode. While it took a while, I'm an engineer now. I've learned to play musical instruments, started business ventures, and made some amazing art; all while manic. My doctor thinks I might be better if I leveled out with meds. But, my down periods have never been destructive, so I keep an eye on that closely. My wife get's annoyed when I'm manic as I'm very excited and I spend a lot of time making phone calls and researching things. Many times my research leads to dead ends. But sometimes I make or do something amazing. Even at work, I've made some amazing things that blew away my managers. I have made a few purchases that were maybe too large. Like my 8,000 dollar drum set. BUT, I really do love that drum set and I'll have it for years and decades to come. My wife is kind of my reality check. She challenges me when I'm manic and makes me have to be very sure about what I'm trying to do. If I can't convince her about it then it's likely not a good idea.
The other part that makes it hard to not want to stop being manic is that I'm super charismatic when I'm manic. I call old friends. Send thoughtful letters, give out great advice, donate time to charity, so many good things! I may disappear from social circles for a week or two at times, but everything has a cost.
Anything by black veil brides ,Blake Shelton,Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson ,Andy black , Katy perry ,good Charlotte, Britt Nicole,etc
I understand what you're saying about being diagnosed and looking over your personality. It made me question who and what was me and what was hypo mania. It's made family members pin point times or fashion styles or my spending and label it as a hypomania episode when sometimes I just wonder if it's my personality. In high school I was always so energetic and outgoing and fun and since being diagnosed and having episodes I've lost some of my spark. Whether that was because my brain took a bad hit and had to relearn social skills after an episode or it was medication slowing me down or my self esteem has been knocked down and I feel like damaged goods. I really want to be more energetic and random like I use to be but it could also be that I have two kids now that tires me out.
One song I like is: little black sandals by sia. I liked painting to it on repeat one time. I'll look up another one that I thought was so beautiful when I was in mixed mania and let you know. Xx
Show me love. Sam feldt. It's amazing, the build up and nature sounds. Made me feel like dancing and felt connected to nature but was feeling sad and irritated with my partner and the words related to wanting him to be more loving and caring when really he was just worried and stressed about me getting sick.... x
You need to watch the movie Manic
I like all your videos
I love you! ♡
I find this video to be slightly concerning and misleading. Mania is not a personality trait; it's not what makes you YOU. Having bipolar is a part of what makes you you and the strength to overcome it also makes you who you are. But please don't conflate mania with good and happy and a part of who you are because it's not. You can't control mania and hypomania the way that you say you can. This is mental illness we're talking about. You don't get to decide how it's going to go when it takes over. That's what treatment and medication is for. You can do things to ease and prevent aspects of it, but please don't say that mania is something to enjoy and proudly state that you've been manic the whole semester. It is not the same thing as just having a whole lot of peppy and motivated and positive energy. It is a symptom of an illness and can get out of hand very quickly. You're playing with fire and encouraging others to do the same. Please by all means say you are a motivated and inspired person and love to create and have loads of energy....but if you're going to claim that, make it YOURS; don't make YOU your illness.
JennInLondon You do not know other people's experience. It has affected me the same way, I'm in highschool and for two years I was on a manic high. I would go with less than 3 hours of sleep a week for months on end while maintaining a 4.10 GPA in college level classes. I had unlimited energy and enthusiasm for everything around me. I wanted to do everything, and I did. It was not natural, it was my mania, it was me. It was me for two years until the depressive cycle began. That mania is a part of me, it gives me the ability to achieve amazing feats and have extreme determination. On mania you are in the moment, you want to have fun all night and never stop. You're always pushing boundaries and making great stories and memories. I enjoy my manic side, it has a huge influence on my personality and how I am even when I'm not hypomanic, I'm always the person who's not done at the party, I could talk to anyone for hours even though when I'm depressed I'm extremely shy and introverted. I would give anything to be on that constant high, and yes sometimes things can be risky or reckless even, but that's my favorite part of myself. It's a huge part of myself, and just because you can't relate to her specific experience with bipolar, doesn't make you right or give you the ability to blindly criticize.
She’s right about being addicted to mania. I’ve tried 2 different drugs and nothing was ever as good as mania. It’s really frustrated and amazing at the same time.
thank you for doing these videos
♥♥♥
Lizzie I will be praying for you and through your situation
I love these videos, Lizzie, thank you💕 praying for you :)
It reminds me of the song "the way I loved you" by Taylor swift. She's saying she has this calm, perfect boy and everything's just the way it should be but she can remember the sweeping, intense, passionate love of her ex and she wants that. And it's kind of like you can choose to have a short, painful, but ethereal and ecstatic life or a long, calm life where you miss out on this other part of yourself. But it's safer. And I can't imagine which I would pick if I were in your situation. I hate reading comments of people telling you bipolar isn't a real disease or that you're believing lies of the devil and I hate it when people tell you to take your medication or to not take your medication. And I don't know what to tell you except to listen to The Weeknd. His music is definitely unchristian but it's beautiful and toxic and it's this window into another life, which I will never have. But one that has a certain allure to it anyways. And I'll pray for you. But not in a pitying way, or in a judging "I'll pray for you" way. But in an intense, unconditional way. Where I wish I could meet and and I wish I could hug you and help you go through this. But I can't. And all I can do is pray that you feel loved and that you know there's this girl miles and miles north of you, sitting in the bedroom who cares for you and wants you to be okay ❤️
Elizabeth Davies this made me cry. like I am crying right now I feel like you really really understand. the way you explained with the song which has always been one of my favorites from her..is exactly what it is it is that choice to delete parts of me that I need, that I love or to let myself be alive and risk dying from killing myself or giving into drinking or accidentally killing myself or hurting someone I love when I'm manic. It is awful that I have to choose. That I have to make the decision. I hate it a lot. How everything was great and chaotic but fully alive and incredibly happy and creative and inspiring and I saw the core absolute best in people and all these detailed facets of beauty in everything and I'd read my bible for hours at a time, pray so intensely, constant spiritual epiphanies connecting different bible verses, I'd pray for people so intensely, pray for myself so intensely. I cried a lot but it is because I felt the world a lot and these is too much evil and pain in the world. I donated impulsively to poverty relief stopped in the middle of the day to pray with random people, listen to them. Everything I feel would emulate into writing. And I loved my classes at school, absolutely loved them. I'd read every single word of my textbooks and annotate them with colored highlighters and pens and take in everything, be so changed transformed by whatever I leaned. and 25 professors were my absolute favorite professor. and 15 people were my absolute best friends. and everyone opened up to me all of what was hurting them and I'd listen and listen and feel all of their emotions like their lives were mine and so I'd care and love and have to pray and no what to say. and I was so incredibly happy, even right after I cried so intensely, I was so incredibly happy. and all of it made me so strong, feeling so hurt so much made me so strong, taught me how to love deeper. but the worst part is even if I delete a lot of this, no one will understand fully understand unless they have bipolar and even then, no. Maybe you do, maybe everyone who follows all my videos can because I can express when I'm feeling. but I've never felt all the parts of me understood. I understand the whole world but I'm not understood. I've given emotional support to so many people for so long, but so much I didn't get that. And I can't a lot of the time, because people cannot understand my brain.
Elizabeth Davies Please please pray for me to never drink, to not buy alcohol because I crave it so much that past couple weeks day craving it all the time. and pray for me to remember to read my bible enough so that I can calm down enough by the end of the day to be able to sleep. and that I'll be able to stay married someday, be in a relationship and not run away because of all of this, and that I'll find a psychiatrist soon like pray for a miracle that I can get an appointment soon. and that all my writing, I can stay so focused and disciplined and organized, committed to one project and make something beautiful that can help a lot of people. and also wisdom, pray for me for God to give me wisdom. I love you! thank you ❤️
LizziesAnswers praying for both of you. life is so confusing it's hard to see gods plan in the midst of despair believe me I've been there and am currently there. my bipolar diagnose stripped me bare of who I thought I was, I still struggle with shame, self worth and believing I'm not damaged goods. but that's the beauty of it we are damaged goods until we sit at the
feet of Jesus and let him restore us, and nothing can take away the sanctuary we have in christs presence not even our physiology. while we stumble God remains the same. I will say that although my diagnosis was one of the hardest things I've dealt with, being able to be so broken and see that God still had not abandoned me was the moment in my life that I was able to most clearly see the profound beauty of Christ's forgiveness and resting place. At the very least going through the pain teaches us to empathize and witness to those affected by mental illness in a way that you are unable to if you haven't experienced it. I'm praying that we can trust in God's faithfulness and goodness, to know we are cherished, and that Christ will bring to fruition the relief we seek. this place is not our home and these trials are temporary. I pray that we can believe what we know to be true and not let Satan deceive us with lies of who we are. sending much sisterly love your way. psalms 56:3 when I afraid I put my trust in you.
first I love your videos.
2nd, as much as you love being manic and all your feeling about it I feel the exact way about my depression ep. please tell what you think of that !! 😢💟
WHY though? What is your depression like?
Twenty One Pilots' album Vessel and their self titled album are my favorites ☺
I am addicted to euphoric mania
It is interesting to watch the Stephn Fry documentary about bipolar. He asks a number of people if they had a choice -- would they continue to be bipolar? Almost all (but one) said they would choose bipolar -- because it is who they are. (sound familiar?)
"i was journaling during church" XD things I do, and i'm bipolar too.
Delicia Wharton Follow me on Instagram, I'm looking for people I can relate and talk to @embelina18
I can so relate to this. Thank you for sharing!
Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division
Good news for people who love bad news by Modest Mouse
Speaking in tongues by Talking heads
No need to argue by The Cranberries
My favorite song: Planetshakers: "I know who you are"
Bad at love . My favorite song right now
You are VERY bright and VERY pretty! And VERY worthy. Thanks for your contribution!
Could you maybe make a video about mania itselves? How it feels, physicly and emotionally, what you do, how you think, etc? It would be so interesting!
My fav songs would have to be. World so cold by 12 stones and some others by twenty one pilots and a few three days grace songs. But. I just wanted to share something. This video. Helped me so much this morning. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 13. I'm now 19. And I just want to say that it's not gonna be an easy road. There will be tough times. But. When u are manic. Such as one little thing like a flower just making you feel so good. In my experience. I would ask myself. Yes I love this flower and it makes me happy. But is it a healthy happy? With shopping. Buying things I don't need. I relate. But. This is a negative happy. It causes guilt. It can cause money loss. Majorly. So. Even tho it's hard sometimes to slow down those fast thoughts. You kinda just gotta take a step back. And look at the situation. What are all the possibilities of this particular situation. And it's ok to ask for help. Even if you WANT to be alone. Sometimes. It's best to have a buddy. A pet if not a human. But trust me. When you figure your specific balance of happy and sad. You'll look back and realize how much it's worth to be happy. I may be young. But within those 6 years of me getting better. I've listened. And learned a lot. So I send much love and happy prayers to you. 😊 - Alex
I was 14 when I was placed into a psychiatric hospital for adolescence. It was the worst experience I ever had. The head psychiatrist was a piece of work and an ego maniac herself. They ended up jamming a sedative in me within 30 minutes of my arrival and hauling me out of the ward on the four point restraint bed. After that it was constant surveillance by an orderly. 24/7 non stop. I eventually got sick of it. One day I told the psychiatrist I wanted it stopped. She refused it was a song and dance that it was "part of my treatment" or some sing song along that line. I was the only patient in the ward treated that way. Not the dude who would erupt every other day and throw a table across the room nor was it the little asian girl who would strip naked and run down the hall where the patience rooms where at and kick the exit door. Those two didn't get that treatment (or was it mistreatment). So after the refusal, i decided I didn't want to play games anymore. No more group talk, no more seeing the psychiatrist. They threatened me with a baker act, I didn't flinch. after a week of playing the idiot game they wanted out of me, I was discharged. It was against medical advice. During the discharge they tried to claim I showed signs of "paranoia" which upon thinking about that was more than likely they wanted to try to play the paranoid schizophrenic card on me. I stuck my middle finger up behind my back at them as I left.
That wasn't the end of my psychiatric woahs but the beginning. I was eventually readmitted almost a year later. My mood took a drastic downturn which was something that was crushing never felt it that bad but then again I have a picture of myself from Christmas of 1988 that shows a flat affect on me, it wasn't long after that the second round occurred. I was placed on an anti-psychotic med and later on once i complained about manic symptoms placed on an anticonvuslive med. I ended up like most bipolar types do and by the age of 17 I quit taking my meds and seeing the doctor all together. In a sense I consigned myself to my own fates. I am now 44 years old and throughout my existence I have shown my maladjusted self for what I am.