Omg... the hiding, avoiding calls, anxiety first thing in the morning, getting ready... my god that is me!!! And all those little things make you exhausted st the end of the day and you didnt even Get anything done Edit: I want to let you know a year later I have since been put on Zoloft. The severe feeling of anxiety first thing in the morning is gone. Things aren’t perfect but I am finally able to get by in life in the very least.
I'm the same way. It's hard because my boyfriend is so confident and outgoing. I feel like he will leave me one day because I can't keep up. Although, somedays I have endless energy but there are days when I can't breathe because my mind won't slow down.
Thank you for doing this. I don't want to die, but I want too. I don't want to go to the hospital, but I want too. I don't want anyone to understand me, but I want them too. That's where I am today and your story helped. Thank you
Good for you for sharing! I do too :) Please remember Julie, you are NOT bipolar, no one is... you HAVE bipolar. People are not cancer. Or diabetes. Keep battling, warrior!
Battling this disorder is tough and the highs are high fun alive crazy and people accepted me there and the lows are the worst always hidden not many people like to talk bout the lows depressed and sad unlovable anger recognize the falls the lows and and and. See? ! I don't want the lows I want to live and the meds have not worked for me.
@@lisadamato8140 hi.. I feel for what your saying but with me i dont want the "high" emotions because i know whats right around the corner and thats the "lows" the "downs" and so down that i dont know what to do. So i actually feel guilty about being "happy"??? I just cant weed out the difference at all so i can plan to arm myself for the bad things but then i dont know which feelings are good or bad or good but maybe somethings around the corner kind of feeling that makes me feel guilty for being happy. Our feelings are so messed up in so many ways i cant figure it anymore.. Plus.. Im middle aged too so i have moreof a hurricane of feelings and symptoms that i have to deal with too.. This is insane on a new level!
7:30 is one of the things I find hardest about bipolar. That "glimpse": seeing so clearly and so far... there is this big, bright world that's POSSIBLE and amazing and RIGHT THERE... and then all of a sudden you're overwhelmed and stuck in the mud, unable to figure out how to move forward. And all those things that were so bright and so clear and so real just seem to fade-- not entirely away, but just hazy enough that you can remember you had them right there, but you can't recall quite how to get to them again. You can't accomplish, you can't pursue. I just end up feeling defeated, useless, and hopeless. I get this panic that I'll always get these visions of the possible, but never have the ability to make anything happen. And I wish I'd never seen them in the first place, because then I wouldn't feel so empty and unfulfilled. I am grateful for being me SOMETIMES... but more often than not I hate this illness and I hate how my head works (or, doesn't). Sigh. "One day at a time" and all that, I guess.
stoneydanyahoo omg I never comment under shit but this post got me in tears out of nowhere the first few lines is my life and I'm at a such a low right now this hit home too deep...
thanks for the comment....glad to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way.....each day is hard and feels so unproductive and worthless...your purpose in life seems worthless other than dreaming about extra ordinary goals...
You have to keep pushing. It can get better. Do your own research. Ask your doctor about different meds. Push yourself to say " this shit ain't working, give me something else. give me some gym time. have to eat healthy..your body burns a lot of calories from the stress. carve out time to do something like write, paint, make colors, scream (don't get the cops out, though), realize your world revolves around you. If you don't think your doctor understands you, get another one. doctors are like restaurants: if what they're feeding you isn't right, find another place to eat. Took me over 3 years after being in hospital to get the right meds and doses. You can do this!
My daughter has struggled with bipolar disorder for 20 years She is a brilliant beautiful person like you Julie. …and although her life is often difficult, she manages very well. She was diagnosed when she was 15 and medication has helped greatly .. although all the meds have side affects and every couple of years will need to be changed. I admire her greatly .. as I do you and everyone whose life is taken over by this very difficult illness.
The beginning of this video was like a punch in the gut. I've been in denial for so long about my condition and tried to just shrug it off. Unfortunately, denial has strained relationships and now becoming a mother, I've answered my wake up call. Thank you so much for sharing this. So so much appreciation!
A huge hello to everyone who has taken the time to watch my journey and leave a comment. Although I haven't had the time to reply and thank each of you personally, please know that your kind words and support mean so very much to me! I initially had a lot of fear about sharing this 'side' of me. The stigma of mental illness back in 2014 was much greater than now, and stories of others walking a similar path were fewer and farther between. My fears were instantly put to rest. I was, and continue to be, overwhelmed by the understanding, empathy and acceptance that others have showered on me! To hear that my story resonates with so many of you warms my heart -- we are not alone! I wouldn't trade in my bipolar disorder for anything else in this world. Yes, it has been hard and painful at times but Alex Elle's quote says it best, "I'm thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn't have stumbled upon my strength." In the years since 'coming out' I have experienced the freedom that comes with living a life that is authentic, real and unmasked. I have had friends come and go, but the ones who surround me now are people who love me unconditionally and respect my boundaries - I feel safe to be 'me' whether I'm feeling on top of the world or needing my space. And sharing my deepest struggles has connected me the most amazing, creative, compassionate and inspiring people ... all over the world. We are all in absolutely fantastic company! Bipolar disorder, or any other mental health struggle, is manageable and although it's not always easy, it is more than possible to live a beautiful & fulfilling life! Yay, us! Thank you again to everyone for taking the time to share your stories, encouragement, and yes even a few criticisms with me! It's ALL good! j xo
Thanks for sharing. I believe I have bi-polar. Never been diagnosed but my moods greatly transition like a light bulb going off and on. I could be mellow then turn into a cougar in a snap. On my highs I go shopping unrealistically
Thank you for your transparency. In watching this video I believe I might have bipolar because 95% of the things you described pretty much describes my situation. To be honest, I'm hoping I don't have this because I haven't been officially diagnosed. I know this isn't something that can be fixed without some form of medical intervention. I wish I would've seen this a few years ago so maybe I could've been diagnosed back then but everything happens for a reason.
So great to hear your story of courage and such strength and fearlessness. We need more brave beautiful intelligent teachers like you on the planet. Thank YOU!💜
Hi Julie. Thank you for opening up and sharing a private part of your life story. I was recently diagnosed BPD-II with complicated combat PTSD (was former green beret, US Army Special Forces) and just like you it has taken me a long time to come to terms with this illness. I guess it doesn't matter where you come from, who you are, what you've done etc, we are all human and react the way your so eloquently described in your video. I'm still embarrassed, but I am more open to talking about my condition and not being defined by it. Please keep posting these great videos!
Thanks for sharing. I was just diagnosed with bipolar today. I'm 44 and have struggled with this since age 18. All these years being treated with antidepressant, I hope this treatment will now help me level out also. It's such a hold back in life. Stay strong my friends.
Thank you @christopherbearden3285 I am 46 they have made me take assessments. Still they did no. But maybe I am bipolar 2 who knows. I wish I could I could take the assessment again.
Future Moore I agree that’s an excellent way to describe it. Personally, it changes for me depending on my highs and lows. Some days, the thought of running naked down the highway is completely terrifying. But on those super manic days, I might consider it a really great idea. Lol 😆 It can be so frustrating! Thankfully, over time I’ve learned to better identify and deal with the moods and the ups and downs. It certainly makes life interesting, to say the least!
Thank you for making this video & sharing your story. I’ve lost all my friends because of my illness, but I gained a truly patient, empathetic & understanding husband & daughter who somehow put up with my swings. This video truly made me cry, it made me feel as if I’m not so alone in this dark scary place called mental illness. I’m currently completely unmedicated & it’s agonizing, but I’m alive, breathing & have a beating heart in my chest; as long as I have that and the will powers I know I can come out of the darkness & live amongst society & break the mental health stereotype. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. You saved me tonight.
I couldn't appreciate this more! You sharing your journey. I was diagnosed about two months ago with bipolar and major depression and anxiety and with that PTSD. I am still learning about myself and the disorders but it's great to know I'm not the only one in the world who is dealing with this. Thank you again!
You brought tears to my eyes, this hit home so hard. I have always been bipolar as long as I can remember, however I was diagnosed with depression for the past 25 yrs instead. Depression Medications didn't help at all; and when I had my 4th and last child and he turned 2, I was in a manic state and decided separating from my husband was a good idea and asked him to leave. Once my mania left a few months later, he decided divorce was the only way and I was an awful mean person, which me being an undiagnosed borderline/bipolar, he was right. I needed help and never knew just how to get it. The regular drs and counselors never diagnosed me properly. If I had been diagnosed correctly when I was younger, had CBP and DBT to help, proper meds, I wouldn't of ruined my family's life. 9 yrs later I suffer from that one decision and the remorse is painful and heavy. My boys are 10, 14, 16 and 19 now and I hurt our family. You are the first person I have talked about this in years. Recently my insurance lapsed and I lost all 5 of my medications that kept me stable, I am hanging by a thread but feel no self harm tendencies. Anyway, thank you for posting your video.
Hi Kendra - thanks so much for opening up and sharing about your journey. Your journey sounds very similar to mine - I was also misdiagnosed with only depression (anxiety too) and put on medications that did not help. I also often told my husband that I thought separating would be the best solution for our family. Please know, that your behavior and actions were coming from a place of not having the proper diagnosis and help. Just from reading your post, I know that you are a very kind, loving and sensitive soul and that is why things weigh so heavily on you. As hard as it may be, try to be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and hang in there. You are so worthy of being forgiven and being shown grace and compassion for the past. My hope for you is that your family now understands that your behavior and actions were a result of undiagnosed disorders and not a reflection of your true feelings or lack of love for them. I also hope that your kids see that you haven't given up and that you've taken the steps needed to finally get a proper diagnosis and treatment. You are a very brave and strong person to have come this far! I have so much respect for you! I hope you and your kids are able to move forward and make the very most of every moment and day from this point on! The most important thing is that your kids know how very much you love them! ( I'm sure they do!) Thanks again for having the courage to share your story -- Sending huge hugs your way and wishing you all the very very best! xox
Kendra Bartelmez-Forster my insurance lapsed about 4 months ago so I’m not on the meds anymore either..I seen your comment was from two yrs ago..if you don’t mind my asking what happened and did you have to go back on the meds or did you find anything else that helps you???
Victoria Ferguson CBD helps loads. I am off my meds and use CBD as my med and have been stable with this method. You can find small growers on Instagram who sell at a very reasonable price and have great products.
Kendra Bartelmez-Forster I was diagnosed with major clinical depression at age 19, but it just never felt right to me. It just didn’t fit. It took until I was 36 to receive the correct diagnosis and for it all to make so much more sense to me. Sadly, I think that’s a common experience for us who have bipolar. It often makes me wonder how different my life would have been from age 19 to age 36 if I would have been properly diagnosed.
5 minutes in and it's pretty much summed up my life so far..... I hope everyone reading this has an awesome day! We have to try to take it one day at a time. God Bless.
I was diagnosed at 13 as Manic Depressant and then by 18 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. It was scary as hell to find out something was wrong with me. Worst time in my life. I was too young to understand. But as years passed by, I got thru it on my own and still don't know how, but now I'm in my 40s and use it as a strength, and to hopefully help others. Kudos to you, and I am very open about my disorder. Medication free also. You're doing amazing, and just know there are more of us then people realize😀
If anyone is having mood swings and thinks they need help, please see a professional counselor/doctor to help you figure out if you need meds or just some lifestyle changes or if there is even some other medical issue causing your symptoms. As a person with bipolar on medication (Lithium), I have learned a lot about how certain food, stress management, and exercise can help keep me settled. For example, I eat organic as much as possible, stay away from sugar and I exercise. I still need meds, but these other things help, too. Bipolar must be approached and managed from every possible aspect. Meds help, but they are not a miracle cure. The less our body is stressed, the better. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to get help. You are worth it.
Jennifer DeLaRosa So true! That feeling of being alone can destroy a person. Once I reached out and opened up to people who could relate, it was such a huge comfort. Not only did I no longer feel alone, I also realized how many of us there are!
Thank you for doing this. It helped me. Ive blamed myself, felt alone and made so many excuses for how i am. I finally had to admit im not aline and am not all to blame.
Thank you so much for this. Its nice to know that there are plenty of people out there that are going through the very same thing. Its nice to finally know whats going on with me. I feel lost, alone and ashamed and theres really no reason to. THANK YOU FOR SHARING
We all need to share our stories of the journey of being diagnosed with bipolar. That way we become a supportive network of people who have been in a similar place and can give hints, strategies and encouragement to each other.
A lot of people don’t understand how hard it is to live with bipolar on a regular basis.When I first found out I was bipolar I told my friends and they thought I was joking and used it as a way to get out of trouble,not knowing that I was looking for support from my friends.
I've tried to explain the part about getting a glimpse or a taste of how amazing life could be, how happy I could feel... and then having it all ripped away, over and over and over and over. You become hopeless and angry about life in a way that others just don't understand unless you've experienced it. I just isolate now when I'm in my agitated manic episodes because I'm so tired of hurting the people I love. My bipolar brain tells me I'm not good for them. I completely understand everything you expressed in this video. I know it's hard to be vulnerable in this way but thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
Thank you for this video. It has helped me. Especially the driving in the car part, I really identify with that. Now I want my husband to watch this so that he can see it's not just me. Glad to hear that you found a way to get the assistance you needed. It's been a journey of over 20 years for me.
I am a student in an MFT program and this was so helpful to watch. Thank you for being brave!! Broke my heart, as a mom, when you told your husband to leave you. :( So happy you all are happy now. xo
Bipolar is what it is sometimes we're ok sometimes we're not, I get manic for the most part, a little depressed sometimes and then I don't care about anything or anyone I spend the days inside in my bedroom in bed sleeping now wanting to get up or do anything it can last for long time, sometimes weeks, months, and then all of a sudden the manic kicks in I'm on top off the world I'm like super human super happy, impossible on a shopping trip usually buying stuff etc …… I got a good psychologist now and we're trying new drugs to bring me more level headed, it's ok but, even with all the medication I still get mood swings, it's just what it is Thank for sharing your a good person
Are these symptoms bipolar, cuz mine is like that almost everyday depressed for no reason for weeks n then happy out off no where n then back down to depression for no reason, I can't seem to get out off bed n just do normal things cuz I ain't got no mood for anything.. if someone tells me am bipolar tbh I can't admit it cuz I don't know what bipolar feelings are like.
Hi Julie, after watching your video and sharing it with my husband and mother, the few that know of my struggles , I purchased your book through Anazon and am 3 quarters of the way through it. I have two daughters who although don't know the extent of my mental illness (bipolar type 2) apart from it not just being mums tired, upset and not in the best of moods, they now getting to the age (10 and 8 years) where they know it's more than that and that its's not normal or ok to treat the ones you love that way (as you say in your book, your husband has always been your punching bag, as has mine!) and for my daughters to constantly be exposed to that as they have been is heartbreaking and not ok. In your beautifully presented book there has been so much that resonated with me! After ten years of experimenting with antidepressants, I never sought help for the highs as I thought it was the real me! I welcomed those unfortunately never long enough periods! During those days and if I'm lucky enough it can be weeks I am creative, energised, nothing can phase me, on top of the world, nothing can get down, I can tackle or be anything I want, social (I'm normally very quiet and reserved) and someone who gets so much done before whack!! My huge fall from grace where I can go into a very dark place! Thanks to your book and you tube vid which prompted me do so a lot of reading and research, I am now on a Med specificly bipolar targeted and am feeling hopeful! Not that it will completely fix it but hopefully put me in a better frame of mind, take the edge of and give me that extra spark to put it some extra work on improving myself , like going to see someone regularly to work on some things I'd love to improve eg. Treating my husband and kids with the respect they deserve! Sorry for my very lengthy post, I just wanted to thank you your your honest and raw words and beautiful book! Love Laura from little old New Zealand xx
Hi Laura! Wow! first off, I love lengthy posts and I loved reading about your journey-- thanks so much for sharing! It sounds like we have a lot in common - your story is very similar to (exactly like!) mine. I'm so thrilled to know that my video and book have helped you in some way! And, hey, I'm definitely still a work in progress --- researching, reading, and.... yup, I need to start seeing someone regularly too! I've been finding a lot of awesome articles ( written by real people living with bipolar! ) on a website called The Mighty-- themighty.com/bipolar-disorder/ ( I follow them on facebook too! facebook.com/TheMightySite/ ) I wish you and your family all the very best. Thanks again for your post and kind words - they mean so much! You've made my day! xox :)))
This made me super emotional. Thank you for making this. I’ve felt so alone for most of my life, and also mostly depressed. I love watching these types of videos because then I know that there are people that feel the same way.
I was diagnosed with being bipolar when I was 35. I had a depressive episode when I was a freshman in college. I went to therapy for six weeks. I did not receive medication because of no diagnosis. After 15 years of marriage, 2 children and working full time as a teacher I was diagnosed. I had a severe depression due to another move to a city. My medication has worked for 20 years. I do have some medical concerns because of the medication. I have lab tests every 3 months. I count myself blessed to be able to live my life and enjoy it daily. I now have a grandchild that I love and care for. There is life after bipolar. Count your blessings and do not give up.
Hi, thankyou for your beautiful video. I have just met a new friend who suffers from bipolar and I've known so little about it since now. So thanks to your video, it has helped me understand much more about it. You should be really proud of yourself for your life testimony. Thanks again.
I can hear my wife's voice in the video your daughter took. She too has begged me to leave, but it took me so long to find her. My Ginger Girl, my bipolar snow flake.
You are courageous and a Shining Star, this comes from a man that has suffered from this illness since a young boy, This disease has negatively affected my relationships with family and friends and I have felt so isolated. Julie is like a complete mirror to myself and my experiences. This illness frightens many people and it is all about education and kindness that does not always come. I want to say that people have so helped me with honesty. I am very open with my illness and it is always ends with compassion or dread from people that have or have not known about this life experience, thank you for this venue to share, Bill
Julie, thanks for this video, it has been really helpful. I have been suffering of bipolar II for almost 15 years and now I am in recovery. It is always helpful to hear words of encouragement like you said in your video. Please keep up your good work. Thank you so much.
Well done you Julie. I am 47, my friend said to me 'you have to let go of your pride'. It was hard for me to admit. I hid my bipolar since age 16, all of my life. Then at 41, my daughter died at birth, I developed severe PTSD. Eventually, I couldn't hide it anymore. I got help. Watching videos online, and reading articles online, helped me to understand Me. I am not ashamed. When I am up I am creative, what a wonderful life that is.... I was funny outgoing, intelligent..... but of course, I would also spend lots of money, I would also get into trouble. Then the depression would hit. After my daughter died, I couldn't hide it anymore. I would hide away when I was depressed, people didn't see me. My brain stopped working. Well done you, for standing up, it has taken me so many years 30 years.... for me to say this is me. I am bipolar - and you know, it's ok. I am ok being bipolar.
+niks gee I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your daughter. As a mother myself, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that has been for you to experience {Sending a huge hug to you }. I'm so glad that after years of struggling with bipolar disorder, you are now in a place where you too realize that it's absolutely okay. :) Bipolar is something we have, not something we are - we are sooo much more than this disorder! But, similar to you, it also took me decades to get to a place of truly accepting and embracing this part of myself. Thank you for sharing your journey. Many of your experiences - the pride, depression & hiding away - echo mine, it's encouraging to know that I'm not alone. :)
this is sooooo eye opening... I always tell my boyfriend that "he brings this side outta me" n "I dont act this way wit other ppl" its sad... I'm not sure if I'm bi polar, but ur video def made me want to go get checked.. I love ur honesty n vulnerability.. thank u for ur video! ❤❤❤
This whole documentary sums up my life. I have bipolar disorder and it is mainly about management. And yes, life is a daily struggle just to do the simplest of tasks. Racing thoughts, confusion, chaotic thought process and low lows and exhaustion is real to a point that I would literally crash for a few days at a time. Thank goodness for medication, vitamins, nutrients, healthy clean eating, proper and adequate rest, exercise and find myself again and those things that I enjoy and family and friends who are supportive. ☺️
Wow you spoke to every thought and experience I’ve had. I’m a day into my diagnosis and going down the rabbit hole on videos, yours really got to me so thank you.
Before seeing this video, I was very curious about the symptoms of bipolar as well as wanting a comprehendible explanation for this condition, since the sites I had visited complicated it more than it should have, and after seeing this video, I now have a better understanding and I appreciate your courage to share your experience with other people who either have bipolar or know someone who has bipolar and it has warmed my heart. Thank you Julie for such an amazing and admirable video. I do hope that you're doing well now :)
Wow! Thank you for all of your kind words -- they've warmed MY heart! I'm so glad my story has helped to give you a better understanding of bipolar. In the very beginning, my greatest hope was to be able to give a glimpse, even if only a small one, into a bipolar mind and life! I'm so happy my video was able to do that for you! Thanks again for taking the time to leave such an uplifting comment ....and for your well wishes. Wishing you all the best too. :)
I really needed this today. On the verge of losing everything, some days I truly fear losing myself. The words you spoke were so spot on. I shared this video with my loved ones because it is terrifyingly relevant to my life right now. I hope this can help them understand. You have definitely shed some light on me today. Being “normal” is possible. Thank you! ♥️
Wow! Your honesty is beautiful. You started my day off in a reflective and caring way, watching this video. Thank you and I wish you continued wonder in this life!
Thank you so much for sharing 😢😘👊 I reached out to my therapist today to tell them the whole truth. I have been hiding too long and I absolutely wont live like this anymore. Im okay with it now and I want to be better and I know I can do just that with proper treatment. Thanks again
Thank you Julie for your courage and sharing your experiences. What you specifically shared at 5:28 hit me like a hammer because it's exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing your truth, it has the power to set people free.
Thank you for your honesty. I lived with a bipolar mother and the struggles were difficult for sure. I cried watching this because I could see again my pain from being the child and my parents pain and struggles. So difficult for sure. Thank you for sharing.
Hughs THANK YOU!! Been struggling since age 15. I’m 35. I too, still find it hard to function. Though lately, I’ve been on an uphill spiral... but next month, or even tomorrow- I may lock my doors and slide into my comfort spot - my bed.
I just saw this for the first time. It reminded me of when I was first diagnosed, BiPolar 1, 20 years ago. I will never forget coming home from the doctor and telling my husband “they said I’m crazy”. Now I am at a point where my meds have been juggled so many times to try to keep them effective and it’s not working anymore. I miss the mania so much and feel like I am stuck in a constant depression. My depression always lasts for weeks then I get a few days of mania, no more in between. I wish you all the best. Personally I don’t think I have a purpose anymore and this hell I exist in is my punishment. I just have to accept what I can not change.
Bipolar has stole my life for many years. Today I have a grasp on it more than I ever have. A lot of 2 steps forward and 10 steps back. I have a 10 yr old daughter that I have tried to explain my illness to her. Keep filming
I cannot thank you enough for explaining that so eloquently. You have no idea how much I have tried to explain and could never quite get the words right. I forwarded this to all of my family. I give you a heartfelt "Thank you "!
Julie. It was nice to have someone talk about their own experience with Bipolar 2. The rollercoaster was a nice touch. The first time I was diagnosed with Bipolar I told the Psychiatrist there is nothing you can tell me that I cannot understand. Mania. We have almost the same Bipolar 2. I have since settled down thru various ways. Mostly older age. 64. It is a full time job monitoring one's self. Just watching one's own mind in action is a marvel. An Unquiet Mind is a good book. I still have an unquiet mind. It has taken me from the SouthPole to Afghanistan. It has been quite a rollercoaster ride. Thank you for you youtube video. Refreshing. Be well.
Thank you for your support! I'm so glad you could relate to my story! We are definitely all in this together- it helps to know that my experiences are similar to others' !! :)
I tried to take a free testing for bipolar and the result says i am mildly bipolar. That's why am here to understand. And now i realizes i have my self-healing through self-development. Because before I was more than depressive and ill than now. Thanks be to the Creator, i fare through my darkest moment. Knowing oneself reallt helps when you can accept your weaknesses and strengths. And for those like you who boldly tell their truth, you are all truly an inspiration. Keep on keeping on!
I'm thankful you did this video. I have relatives who live with BP but until I met someone else I like a lot I never cared to understand this struggle. I'm learning.
I hope you continue to share your journey. Diversity is the rule and everyone who has bipolar expresses themselves and their struggles in a different way. You are a blessing.
Thank you for such a incredible inside. Its very very helpful to see specially the car video. This has saved my life as I'm a wife of a bipolar husband
This is so inspirational to me. Was diagnosed 4 yrs ago, been doing all I can to manage the symptoms. It is very hard. Hearing your story gave me some hope to keep fighting. Thank you. :)
I'm an outsider looking in, meaning I have a loved one with Bipolar illness. It is HARD. Feeling like the person is someone else that you don't know. Going into 3rd decade now. The "strangeness" that comes with it, is so discomforting. I try very hard to be patient and understanding. This girl so accurately shows what Bipolar is like. Bless her so much.
Hi Julie Kraft If all people with mental illness told their story like you more people will realize how real and serious mental illness is. I believe the only way is by telling it like it is. I don’t have a video but I have a story I would like to share to show how in the dark we can be when it comes to mental illness. I have lost my father and brother to mental illness and did not know what the illness was. In those days, you wouldn’t really talk about it so for me growing up I was “numb”. For my father, it was more depression I believe. For my brother 20 years later it was more,” mixed up”, in and out of the hospital and alcohol. 20 Years later my son admits himself to the hospital, “being very confused” and 6 months later he is discharged with a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder. I will never know for sure what that early illness was that caused their suicides but it does give me some sort of closure to their passing. Any information on mental illness helps, just ask,” why do I feel this way?” and don’t stop asking that question until you get the help you need. It takes us so long to realize or admit there is a problem because I think we all know how difficult it is to deal with on every level. Everybody seems afraid to talk about it. I’m with you Julie it’s time we all let the cat out of the bag and give our experiences to other people so that it may make it easier for them to try to understand and get help. You are brave Julie and you are only helping people. For you as a person I judge you as the BEST example of someone facing fear head on. I would also judge you as someone who makes me very proud. You have taken a tragedy and turned it into a positive situation for yourself. Stay strong
Hi Kelly,Wow, thank you so much for your kind words and support - it means so very much to me and affirms that my story is one worth telling! And thank you for sharing the journey you've travelled and endured-- I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your loved ones due to mental illness. I couldn't agree more with you that people need to let the 'cat out of the bag' - I'm so encouraged to be finding more and more stories emerging from others who are walking a similar path! I really do believe that the fear, stigma and stereotypes surrounding mental illness are being shattered by open and honest conversations! Thanks again for your encouraging words and sharing. Wishing you all the best! Julie :)
I’ve just been diagnosed with Cyclothymia, or Bipolar III. I totally relate to the bit where you said if someone is walking towards you & you get anxious - I thought it was just me! Racing thoughts are so exhausting. I’ve also been struggling at work with concentration and self confidence. Hopefully that’ll improve now that I know the reason. X
I'm so happy that I watched this. I cried tears of sadness and relief at the same time. Thank you Julie. . Like#twinmuch? Lol. The exactness of you explaining is perfect. I've been trying so hard to explain it. I will share this video with my partner, my mother and my two teenage sons. The guilt, shame and actual disbelief in a way that I'm not in control has been the hardest. Feeling like a complete freak or outcast, yet others look at my 'mask' and absolutely think I'm together. The part of the mania; the creativity, the energy, the genuine Happy, I'm on top of the world feeling is scary but only because over the years I've learned what's coming next. That's probably my worst frustration and fear. I'm learning to deal.. I have been not dealing and but understanding for so long. I've finally gotten to the point of trying to be more, 'in control' , as far as, being expectant and knowing and dealing. Thank you again Julie. And I can't even believe I ran across this, let alone, left such a long detailed message to this video. It touched down perfectly.
This is exactly how I think, Feel and act. Thank you so much for this video. Its everything I have tried to explain but never couls find the words. I am sharing this with my closet family so they can truely hear the words. Everything you were afraid of and what you had to lose was the same for me. I was feeling the same with my diagnosis. Mortifying. I want to hide it. Its so comforting to know others feel this exact same what too. I am not alone. Beautiful job spreading the raw truth!
EVERYONE needs to change the lexicon of mental illness, i.e., "I'm bipolar," "He's bipolar." NO!!!!!!! You have bipolar...you are not bipolar. You would not say, "I'm Parkinsons," or "I'm breast cancer." Having bipolar disorder is just one part of the person who has it and not the totality of them as a human being. Doctors, the public, mental health professionals, family and friends, but most importantly, those who have the disease need to advocate for themselves by saying, "I have this..."I am not this."
GOOD FOR YOU!!! I struggled with genetic bipolar ever since my teens but didn’t get diagnosed until I was 44. Lithium changed my life radically for the better. The last 15 years have truly been my best of learning more about myself and growing in understanding. Your descriptions of the illness are spot on! Thanks for being brave and sharing! I know you have helped someone else. Stay strong!
Just wanted to write and say a huge 'thank you' to everyone for your comments, support, and encouragement -- it all means so much and affirms that my journey is one worth sharing! To all those who have opened up and shared that you are struggling, please don't lose hope or ever give up! Living with a mental illness can feel like an uphill battle at times, but the light is always there and always returns, despite how dark and hopeless things may seem. I know I'm behind in responding to many of your comments - I'm sorry & please forgive me! At times, I can become easily overwhelmed and find it a struggle to answer even my own kids' texts! :) And so, despite my 'silence', please know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I wish you all the very best! xo
Julie, I really thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I have assumed I was bipolar for most of my life because it runs in my immediate family and I got diagnosed in 2020 officially. No one in my family talks about it, no one treats their bipolar in my family. They're okay with letting their bipolar control them. I feel so alone and ashamed when trying to understand why I act the way I do and explain it to my significant other. I feel like I'm not even a person sometimes. Like I'm just here, but not really. I've tried therapy and psychiatrist, and they don’t seem to fully understand either, just want to give me 1000 meds to try. I want to be better, I hope to be better but where do I even start when I don't even understand myself? Thank you for sharing your story and helping me understand myself a little more. I wish you the best.
I am soooo grateful for you sharing your story, and for being vulnerable. This illness is a brain disorder which is so intrusive, disruptive, and shaming for patients and family alike.I absolutely HATE the fact that the main tool offered is psychoactive drugs.It is a Brain Disorder which needs addressing for optimal health.You are living with bipolar, and have so much courage. You make a difference and give hope to us. Wishing you peace, joy and fulfillment in your journey, in spite of living with bipolar. Continue to dream, hope and learn about your condition.
Thank you for this. I was diagnosed a little less than two years ago and I share your struggles. I’ve worried about the exact same things, and can relate so much. I too begged my fiancée to leave me but he was the reason I decided to get help. This was eye opening and helpful.
I hear you Julie and I get it, as a woman with bipolar myself. Please don't be ashamed, you are truly brave and still an amazing human being, this here is an amazing and powerful contribution for all the others.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I got diagnosed with bipolar 1. It's still new for me. I'm getting help and hope I can handle it well. Much love x
*bursts into tears because I'm not alone in this bipolar sruff*
You are not alone at all dont let anyone let you think differently.. Smile cause that's a GOOD feeling 😀
No you are definitely not there’s a lot of us even Michael Jackson’s niece talks about us
Seek the Lord, HE will set you free. Luke 4th chapter...... 🙏
The Bible has your answer🕇🕇🕇.
I did too...I'm slowly losing the battle man
Driving is actually the only thing that calms me. Especially when I'm alone. Music and highways calm my mind.
I love driving too. HAte grocery stores
Me too! This calms me down.
Me too
Me too
mightybfool C okay same, wtff. It’s s legit the only thing that can calm me down.
Omg... the hiding, avoiding calls, anxiety first thing in the morning, getting ready... my god that is me!!! And all those little things make you exhausted st the end of the day and you didnt even Get anything done
Edit: I want to let you know a year later I have since been put on Zoloft. The severe feeling of anxiety first thing in the morning is gone. Things aren’t perfect but I am finally able to get by in life in the very least.
I'm the same way. It's hard because my boyfriend is so confident and outgoing. I feel like he will leave me one day because I can't keep up. Although, somedays I have endless energy but there are days when I can't breathe because my mind won't slow down.
Positively Udo same here. I don’t know what to do anymore
I am you!
T.T
OMG me too.
Thank you for doing this.
I don't want to die, but I want too.
I don't want to go to the hospital, but I want too.
I don't want anyone to understand me, but I want them too.
That's where I am today and your story helped. Thank you
I so get what you just wrote.
This is me in my dark days. Thanks for sharing. Blessings sent your way and i hope change happens for you
I don't want to tell him, but I want to...
I don't want to regret this, but I know me....
This comment... Ugh I just feel so defeated all of the time.
This is how I feel
Good for you for sharing! I do too :)
Please remember Julie, you are NOT bipolar, no one is... you HAVE bipolar.
People are not cancer. Or diabetes.
Keep battling, warrior!
She doesn't show the downside of her issue
Battling this disorder is tough and the highs are high fun alive crazy and people accepted me there and the lows are the worst always hidden not many people like to talk bout the lows depressed and sad unlovable anger recognize the falls the lows and and and. See? ! I don't want the lows I want to live and the meds have not worked for me.
@@lisadamato8140 hi.. I feel for what your saying but with me i dont want the "high" emotions because i know whats right around the corner and thats the "lows" the "downs" and so down that i dont know what to do. So i actually feel guilty about being "happy"??? I just cant weed out the difference at all so i can plan to arm myself for the bad things but then i dont know which feelings are good or bad or good but maybe somethings around the corner kind of feeling that makes me feel guilty for being happy. Our feelings are so messed up in so many ways i cant figure it anymore.. Plus.. Im middle aged too so i have moreof a hurricane of feelings and symptoms that i have to deal with too.. This is insane on a new level!
quit the semantics
Ebony Arwen that’s a good way to look at it thank you
7:30 is one of the things I find hardest about bipolar. That "glimpse": seeing so clearly and so far... there is this big, bright world that's POSSIBLE and amazing and RIGHT THERE... and then all of a sudden you're overwhelmed and stuck in the mud, unable to figure out how to move forward. And all those things that were so bright and so clear and so real just seem to fade-- not entirely away, but just hazy enough that you can remember you had them right there, but you can't recall quite how to get to them again. You can't accomplish, you can't pursue.
I just end up feeling defeated, useless, and hopeless. I get this panic that I'll always get these visions of the possible, but never have the ability to make anything happen. And I wish I'd never seen them in the first place, because then I wouldn't feel so empty and unfulfilled.
I am grateful for being me SOMETIMES... but more often than not I hate this illness and I hate how my head works (or, doesn't). Sigh. "One day at a time" and all that, I guess.
stoneydanyahoo omg I never comment under shit but this post got me in tears out of nowhere the first few lines is my life and I'm at a such a low right now this hit home too deep...
thanks for the comment....glad to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way.....each day is hard and feels so unproductive and worthless...your purpose in life seems worthless other than dreaming about extra ordinary goals...
amber lenae I hope you're hanging in there, Amber, it's a tough go but worth it. love from a stranger. :) don't give up!
You have to keep pushing. It can get better. Do your own research. Ask your doctor about different meds. Push yourself to say " this shit ain't working, give me something else. give me some gym time. have to eat healthy..your body burns a lot of calories from the stress. carve out time to do something like write, paint, make colors, scream (don't get the cops out, though), realize your world revolves around you. If you don't think your doctor understands you, get another one. doctors are like restaurants: if what they're feeding you isn't right, find another place to eat. Took me over 3 years after being in hospital to get the right meds and doses. You can do this!
I'm right there with you.
My daughter has struggled with bipolar disorder for 20 years She is a brilliant beautiful person like you Julie. …and although her life is often difficult, she manages very well. She was diagnosed when she was 15 and medication has helped greatly .. although all the meds have side affects and every couple of years will need to be changed. I admire her greatly .. as I do you and everyone whose life is taken over by this very difficult illness.
Literally in tears watching and relating to this .
Me too
Oh please
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and telling your story. Peace
R06uE100 i know how you feel you told my story to i am bipolar 1 with the same story i thank you for sharing your story GODBLEESS you
The beginning of this video was like a punch in the gut. I've been in denial for so long about my condition and tried to just shrug it off. Unfortunately, denial has strained relationships and now becoming a mother, I've answered my wake up call. Thank you so much for sharing this. So so much appreciation!
A huge hello to everyone who has taken the time to watch my journey and leave a comment. Although I haven't had the time to reply and thank each of you personally, please know that your kind words and support mean so very much to me! I initially had a lot of fear about sharing this 'side' of me. The stigma of mental illness back in 2014 was much greater than now, and stories of others walking a similar path were fewer and farther between. My fears were instantly put to rest. I was, and continue to be, overwhelmed by the understanding, empathy and acceptance that others have showered on me! To hear that my story resonates with so many of you warms my heart -- we are not alone! I wouldn't trade in my bipolar disorder for anything else in this world. Yes, it has been hard and painful at times but Alex Elle's quote says it best, "I'm thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn't have stumbled upon my strength." In the years since 'coming out' I have experienced the freedom that comes with living a life that is authentic, real and unmasked. I have had friends come and go, but the ones who surround me now are people who love me unconditionally and respect my boundaries - I feel safe to be 'me' whether I'm feeling on top of the world or needing my space. And sharing my deepest struggles has connected me the most amazing, creative, compassionate and inspiring people ... all over the world. We are all in absolutely fantastic company! Bipolar disorder, or any other mental health struggle, is manageable and although it's not always easy, it is more than possible to live a beautiful & fulfilling life! Yay, us! Thank you again to everyone for taking the time to share your stories, encouragement, and yes even a few criticisms with me! It's ALL good! j xo
Julie Kraft you are an inspiration truly 🙏🏽 you are helping address this issue without feeling awkward. Much love and blessings to you
Thank you for the honesty and explanations .
I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 and it has been really hard finding the right meds for me .
Thanks for sharing. I believe I have bi-polar. Never been diagnosed but my moods greatly transition like a light bulb going off and on. I could be mellow then turn into a cougar in a snap. On my highs I go shopping unrealistically
Thank you for your transparency. In watching this video I believe I might have bipolar because 95% of the things you described pretty much describes my situation. To be honest, I'm hoping I don't have this because I haven't been officially diagnosed. I know this isn't something that can be fixed without some form of medical intervention. I wish I would've seen this a few years ago so maybe I could've been diagnosed back then but everything happens for a reason.
So great to hear your story of courage and such strength and fearlessness. We need more brave beautiful intelligent teachers like you on the planet. Thank YOU!💜
This gave me tears I could feel everything. Thank you!
Hi Julie. Thank you for opening up and sharing a private part of your life story. I was recently diagnosed BPD-II with complicated combat PTSD (was former green beret, US Army Special Forces) and just like you it has taken me a long time to come to terms with this illness. I guess it doesn't matter where you come from, who you are, what you've done etc, we are all human and react the way your so eloquently described in your video. I'm still embarrassed, but I am more open to talking about my condition and not being defined by it. Please keep posting these great videos!
Monsieur Tea pls subscribe to my channel SimplyyTruth
Thanks for being brave enough to share your story, Blessings
Thanks for sharing. I was just diagnosed with bipolar today. I'm 44 and have struggled with this since age 18. All these years being treated with antidepressant, I hope this treatment will now help me level out also. It's such a hold back in life. Stay strong my friends.
Thank you @christopherbearden3285
I am 46 they have made me take assessments. Still they did no. But maybe I am bipolar 2 who knows. I wish I could I could take the assessment again.
I can relate to that 1000%
That running down the highway naked.. Trying to escape myself.. You understand. Thank You
Future Moore I agree that’s an excellent way to describe it. Personally, it changes for me depending on my highs and lows. Some days, the thought of running naked down the highway is completely terrifying. But on those super manic days, I might consider it a really great idea. Lol 😆
It can be so frustrating! Thankfully, over time I’ve learned to better identify and deal with the moods and the ups and downs. It certainly makes life interesting, to say the least!
Thank you for making this video & sharing your story. I’ve lost all my friends because of my illness, but I gained a truly patient, empathetic & understanding husband & daughter who somehow put up with my swings. This video truly made me cry, it made me feel as if I’m not so alone in this dark scary place called mental illness. I’m currently completely unmedicated & it’s agonizing, but I’m alive, breathing & have a beating heart in my chest; as long as I have that and the will powers I know I can come out of the darkness & live amongst society & break the mental health stereotype. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. You saved me tonight.
I couldn't appreciate this more! You sharing your journey. I was diagnosed about two months ago with bipolar and major depression and anxiety and with that PTSD. I am still learning about myself and the disorders but it's great to know I'm not the only one in the world who is dealing with this. Thank you again!
You brought tears to my eyes, this hit home so hard. I have always been bipolar as long as I can remember, however I was diagnosed with depression for the past 25 yrs instead. Depression Medications didn't help at all; and when I had my 4th and last child and he turned 2, I was in a manic state and decided separating from my husband was a good idea and asked him to leave. Once my mania left a few months later, he decided divorce was the only way and I was an awful mean person, which me being an undiagnosed borderline/bipolar, he was right. I needed help and never knew just how to get it. The regular drs and counselors never diagnosed me properly. If I had been diagnosed correctly when I was younger, had CBP and DBT to help, proper meds, I wouldn't of ruined my family's life. 9 yrs later I suffer from that one decision and the remorse is painful and heavy. My boys are 10, 14, 16 and 19 now and I hurt our family. You are the first person I have talked about this in years. Recently my insurance lapsed and I lost all 5 of my medications that kept me stable, I am hanging by a thread but feel no self harm tendencies. Anyway, thank you for posting your video.
Hi Kendra - thanks so much for opening up and sharing about your journey. Your journey sounds very similar to mine - I was also misdiagnosed with only depression (anxiety too) and put on medications that did not help. I also often told my husband that I thought separating would be the best solution for our family. Please know, that your behavior and actions were coming from a place of not having the proper diagnosis and help. Just from reading your post, I know that you are a very kind, loving and sensitive soul and that is why things weigh so heavily on you. As hard as it may be, try to be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and hang in there. You are so worthy of being forgiven and being shown grace and compassion for the past. My hope for you is that your family now understands that your behavior and actions were a result of undiagnosed disorders and not a reflection of your true feelings or lack of love for them. I also hope that your kids see that you haven't given up and that you've taken the steps needed to finally get a proper diagnosis and treatment. You are a very brave and strong person to have come this far! I have so much respect for you! I hope you and your kids are able to move forward and make the very most of every moment and day from this point on! The most important thing is that your kids know how very much you love them! ( I'm sure they do!) Thanks again for having the courage to share your story -- Sending huge hugs your way and wishing you all the very very best! xox
Julie Kraft 💕
Kendra Bartelmez-Forster my insurance lapsed about 4 months ago so I’m not on the meds anymore either..I seen your comment was from two yrs ago..if you don’t mind my asking what happened and did you have to go back on the meds or did you find anything else that helps you???
Victoria Ferguson
CBD helps loads. I am off my meds and use CBD as my med and have been stable with this method.
You can find small growers on Instagram who sell at a very reasonable price and have great products.
Kendra Bartelmez-Forster I was diagnosed with major clinical depression at age 19, but it just never felt right to me. It just didn’t fit. It took until I was 36 to receive the correct diagnosis and for it all to make so much more sense to me. Sadly, I think that’s a common experience for us who have bipolar. It often makes me wonder how different my life would have been from age 19 to age 36 if I would have been properly diagnosed.
5 minutes in and it's pretty much summed up my life so far..... I hope everyone reading this has an awesome day! We have to try to take it one day at a time. God Bless.
You've touched my heart ❤️ thank you ! Prayers to you!
I was diagnosed at 13 as Manic Depressant and then by 18 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. It was scary as hell to find out something was wrong with me. Worst time in my life. I was too young to understand. But as years passed by, I got thru it on my own and still don't know how, but now I'm in my 40s and use it as a strength, and to hopefully help others. Kudos to you, and I am very open about my disorder. Medication free also. You're doing amazing, and just know there are more of us then people realize😀
If anyone is having mood swings and thinks they need help, please see a professional counselor/doctor to help you figure out if you need meds or just some lifestyle changes or if there is even some other medical issue causing your symptoms. As a person with bipolar on medication (Lithium), I have learned a lot about how certain food, stress management, and exercise can help keep me settled. For example, I eat organic as much as possible, stay away from sugar and I exercise. I still need meds, but these other things help, too. Bipolar must be approached and managed from every possible aspect. Meds help, but they are not a miracle cure. The less our body is stressed, the better. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to get help. You are worth it.
My husband and I realized he may be bipolar. I am learning all I need to, because I love him and I want to know how to love him.
Thank you for your courage. This was great. Keep going.
Omg you've helped me so much. You don't even know. Thank you. I'm not alone
Hi Jennifer - I'm so happy to hear that sharing my story has helped you! Wishing you all the best! :)
It just really helped me understand a lot
Julie Kraft if u dont mind asking what meds help u the most?
Jennifer DeLaRosa
Jennifer DeLaRosa So true! That feeling of being alone can destroy a person. Once I reached out and opened up to people who could relate, it was such a huge comfort. Not only did I no longer feel alone, I also realized how many of us there are!
Thank you for doing this. It helped me. Ive blamed myself, felt alone and made so many excuses for how i am. I finally had to admit im not aline and am not all to blame.
Thank you so much for this. Its nice to know that there are plenty of people out there that are going through the very same thing. Its nice to finally know whats going on with me. I feel lost, alone and ashamed and theres really no reason to. THANK YOU FOR SHARING
We all need to share our stories of the journey of being diagnosed with bipolar. That way we become a supportive network of people who have been in a similar place and can give hints, strategies and encouragement to each other.
A lot of people don’t understand how hard it is to live with bipolar on a regular basis.When I first found out I was bipolar I told my friends and they thought I was joking and used it as a way to get out of trouble,not knowing that I was looking for support from my friends.
The person I'm in love with is bipolar and I'm trying to learn everything I can about this
thank you!!!!!
I to in love with a man who is BP2 and learning every day to understand what he goes through all I know I will not give up being by his side
Thanks
I've tried to explain the part about getting a glimpse or a taste of how amazing life could be, how happy I could feel... and then having it all ripped away, over and over and over and over. You become hopeless and angry about life in a way that others just don't understand unless you've experienced it. I just isolate now when I'm in my agitated manic episodes because I'm so tired of hurting the people I love. My bipolar brain tells me I'm not good for them. I completely understand everything you expressed in this video. I know it's hard to be vulnerable in this way but thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
Thank you for this video. It has helped me. Especially the driving in the car part, I really identify with that. Now I want my husband to watch this so that he can see it's not just me. Glad to hear that you found a way to get the assistance you needed. It's been a journey of over 20 years for me.
I am a student in an MFT program and this was so helpful to watch. Thank you for being brave!! Broke my heart, as a mom, when you told your husband to leave you. :( So happy you all are happy now. xo
Having bipolar myself I relate to everyyy thinggg u said. You are not alone.❤❤❤❤❤
Bipolar is what it is sometimes we're ok sometimes we're not, I get manic for the most part, a little depressed sometimes and then I don't care about anything or anyone I spend the days inside in my bedroom in bed sleeping now wanting to get up or do anything it can last for long time, sometimes weeks, months, and then all of a sudden the manic kicks in I'm on top off the world I'm like super human super happy, impossible on a shopping trip usually buying stuff etc ……
I got a good psychologist now and we're trying new drugs to bring me more level headed, it's ok but, even with all the medication I still get mood swings, it's just what it is
Thank for sharing your a good person
Are these symptoms bipolar, cuz mine is like that almost everyday depressed for no reason for weeks n then happy out off no where n then back down to depression for no reason, I can't seem to get out off bed n just do normal things cuz I ain't got no mood for anything.. if someone tells me am bipolar tbh I can't admit it cuz I don't know what bipolar feelings are like.
Hi Julie, after watching your video and sharing it with my husband and mother, the few that know of my struggles , I purchased your book through Anazon and am 3 quarters of the way through it. I have two daughters who although don't know the extent of my mental illness (bipolar type 2) apart from it not just being mums tired, upset and not in the best of moods, they now getting to the age (10 and 8 years) where they know it's more than that and that its's not normal or ok to treat the ones you love that way (as you say in your book, your husband has always been your punching bag, as has mine!) and for my daughters to constantly be exposed to that as they have been is heartbreaking and not ok. In your beautifully presented book there has been so much that resonated with me! After ten years of experimenting with antidepressants, I never sought help for the highs as I thought it was the real me! I welcomed those unfortunately never long enough periods! During those days and if I'm lucky enough it can be weeks I am creative, energised, nothing can phase me, on top of the world, nothing can get down, I can tackle or be anything I want, social (I'm normally very quiet and reserved) and someone who gets so much done before whack!! My huge fall from grace where I can go into a very dark place! Thanks to your book and you tube vid which prompted me do so a lot of reading and research, I am now on a Med specificly bipolar targeted and am feeling hopeful! Not that it will completely fix it but hopefully put me in a better frame of mind, take the edge of and give me that extra spark to put it some extra work on improving myself , like going to see someone regularly to work on some things I'd love to improve eg. Treating my husband and kids with the respect they deserve!
Sorry for my very lengthy post, I just wanted to thank you your your honest and raw words and beautiful book!
Love Laura from little old New Zealand xx
Hi Laura! Wow! first off, I love lengthy posts and I loved reading about your journey-- thanks so much for sharing! It sounds like we have a lot in common - your story is very similar to (exactly like!) mine. I'm so thrilled to know that my video and book have helped you in some way! And, hey, I'm definitely still a work in progress --- researching, reading, and.... yup, I need to start seeing someone regularly too! I've been finding a lot of awesome articles ( written by real people living with bipolar! ) on a website called The Mighty-- themighty.com/bipolar-disorder/ ( I follow them on facebook too! facebook.com/TheMightySite/ ) I wish you and your family all the very best. Thanks again for your post and kind words - they mean so much! You've made my day! xox :)))
Thank you for telling your story.
This made me super emotional. Thank you for making this. I’ve felt so alone for most of my life, and also mostly depressed. I love watching these types of videos because then I know that there are people that feel the same way.
thank you so much julie! i encouraged and the more i listened to your video, the less i felt alone. your awesome!!
I was diagnosed with being bipolar when I was 35. I had a depressive episode when I was a freshman in college. I went to therapy for six weeks. I did not receive medication because of no diagnosis. After 15 years of marriage, 2 children and working full time as a teacher I was diagnosed. I had a severe depression due to another move to a city. My medication has worked for 20 years. I do have some medical concerns because of the medication. I have lab tests every 3 months. I count myself blessed to be able to live my life and enjoy it daily. I now have a grandchild that I love and care for. There is life after bipolar. Count your blessings and do not give up.
Hi, thankyou for your beautiful video. I have just met a new friend who suffers from bipolar and I've known so little about it since now. So thanks to your video, it has helped me understand much more about it. You should be really proud of yourself for your life testimony. Thanks again.
Thank you for making this video:) I truly appreciate giving us who have struggled some solidarity:)
Thank you so much, almost had me in tears :) Truly beautiful.
Yes describes me exactly highs and lows and insecurities yes and definitely defeat
I can hear my wife's voice in the video your daughter took. She too has begged me to leave, but it took me so long to find her. My Ginger Girl, my bipolar snow flake.
Mark Watson bless your heart...i had one as well unfortunately my love committed suicide a month ago a loved him through it all..
555goca So sorry to hear.
Mark Watson
crazynakedpandas
Very kind...
You are courageous and a Shining Star, this comes from a man that has suffered from this illness since a young boy,
This disease has negatively affected my relationships with family and friends and I have felt so isolated.
Julie is like a complete mirror to myself and my experiences.
This illness frightens many people and it is all about education and kindness that does not always come.
I want to say that people have so helped me with honesty.
I am very open with my illness and it is always ends with compassion or dread from people that have or have not known about this life experience, thank you for this venue to share, Bill
Julie, thanks for this video, it has been really helpful. I have been suffering of bipolar II for almost 15 years and now I am in recovery. It is always helpful to hear words of encouragement like you said in your video. Please keep up your good work. Thank you so much.
Well done you Julie. I am 47, my friend said to me 'you have to let go of your pride'. It was hard for me to admit. I hid my bipolar since age 16, all of my life. Then at 41, my daughter died at birth, I developed severe PTSD. Eventually, I couldn't hide it anymore. I got help. Watching videos online, and reading articles online, helped me to understand Me. I am not ashamed. When I am up I am creative, what a wonderful life that is.... I was funny outgoing, intelligent..... but of course, I would also spend lots of money, I would also get into trouble. Then the depression would hit. After my daughter died, I couldn't hide it anymore. I would hide away when I was depressed, people didn't see me. My brain stopped working. Well done you, for standing up, it has taken me so many years 30 years.... for me to say this is me. I am bipolar - and you know, it's ok. I am ok being bipolar.
+niks gee I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your daughter. As a mother myself, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that has been for you to experience {Sending a huge hug to you }. I'm so glad that after years of struggling with bipolar disorder, you are now in a place where you too realize that it's absolutely okay. :) Bipolar is something we have, not something we are - we are sooo much more than this disorder! But, similar to you, it also took me decades to get to a place of truly accepting and embracing this part of myself. Thank you for sharing your journey. Many of your experiences - the pride, depression & hiding away - echo mine, it's encouraging to know that I'm not alone. :)
Thank you Julie, I have walked in your shoes and have just been diagnosed. Your video has given me hope and reduced some of the self stigma x
“Crying out loud “because I feel I’m not alone either ! Thank u for sharing 🙏🏽 #hope
this is sooooo eye opening... I always tell my boyfriend that "he brings this side outta me" n "I dont act this way wit other ppl" its sad... I'm not sure if I'm bi polar, but ur video def made me want to go get checked.. I love ur honesty n vulnerability.. thank u for ur video! ❤❤❤
This whole documentary sums up my life. I have bipolar disorder and it is mainly about management. And yes, life is a daily struggle just to do the simplest of tasks. Racing thoughts, confusion, chaotic thought process and low lows and exhaustion is real to a point that I would literally crash for a few days at a time. Thank goodness for medication, vitamins, nutrients, healthy clean eating, proper and adequate rest, exercise and find myself again and those things that I enjoy and family and friends who are supportive. ☺️
Thank you for your honest story. I also have also bipolar type 2 and it makes me feel not alone and that there is hope for me too x
This is bloody amazing and accurate as hell! I thought I was the 'Maniac' going through this alone! But wow this makes me feel a whole lot valid.
Wow you spoke to every thought and experience I’ve had. I’m a day into my diagnosis and going down the rabbit hole on videos, yours really got to me so thank you.
Thank you for this, I was in tears thinking of my loved one that I lost, she was beautiful as you are. Bless you...
Before seeing this video, I was very curious about the symptoms of bipolar as well as wanting a comprehendible explanation for this condition, since the sites I had visited complicated it more than it should have, and after seeing this video, I now have a better understanding and I appreciate your courage to share your experience with other people who either have bipolar or know someone who has bipolar and it has warmed my heart. Thank you Julie for such an amazing and admirable video. I do hope that you're doing well now :)
Wow! Thank you for all of your kind words -- they've warmed MY heart! I'm so glad my story has helped to give you a better understanding of bipolar. In the very beginning, my greatest hope was to be able to give a glimpse, even if only a small one, into a bipolar mind and life! I'm so happy my video was able to do that for you! Thanks again for taking the time to leave such an uplifting comment ....and for your well wishes. Wishing you all the best too. :)
I really needed this today. On the verge of losing everything, some days I truly fear losing myself. The words you spoke were so spot on. I shared this video with my loved ones because it is terrifyingly relevant to my life right now. I hope this can help them understand. You have definitely shed some light on me today. Being “normal” is possible. Thank you! ♥️
Wow! Your honesty is beautiful. You started my day off in a reflective and caring way, watching this video. Thank you and I wish you continued wonder in this life!
Thank you so much for sharing 😢😘👊 I reached out to my therapist today to tell them the whole truth. I have been hiding too long and I absolutely wont live like this anymore. Im okay with it now and I want to be better and I know I can do just that with proper treatment. Thanks again
Thank you Julie for your courage and sharing your experiences. What you specifically shared at 5:28 hit me like a hammer because it's exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing your truth, it has the power to set people free.
Thank you for your honesty. I lived with a bipolar mother and the struggles were difficult for sure. I cried watching this because I could see again my pain from being the child and my parents pain and struggles. So difficult for sure. Thank you for sharing.
Hughs THANK YOU!! Been struggling since age 15. I’m 35. I too, still find it hard to function. Though lately, I’ve been on an uphill spiral... but next month, or even tomorrow- I may lock my doors and slide into my comfort spot - my bed.
Huge**
Ashley Kole Hutcherson You described me!!
Ashley Kole Hutcherson Yes!!! It’s often like a never ending rollercoaster ride!
I just saw this for the first time. It reminded me of when I was first diagnosed, BiPolar 1, 20 years ago. I will never forget coming home from the doctor and telling my husband “they said I’m crazy”. Now I am at a point where my meds have been juggled so many times to try to keep them effective and it’s not working anymore. I miss the mania so much and feel like I am stuck in a constant depression. My depression always lasts for weeks then I get a few days of mania, no more in between. I wish you all the best. Personally I don’t think I have a purpose anymore and this hell I exist in is my punishment. I just have to accept what I can not change.
every word you speak is how I feel
Bipolar has stole my life for many years. Today I have a grasp on it more than I ever have. A lot of 2 steps forward and 10 steps back. I have a 10 yr old daughter that I have tried to explain my illness to her. Keep filming
You have described everything I want to say but can't word. Maybe your story will help my family understand. Thank you.
I cannot thank you enough for explaining that so eloquently. You have no idea how much I have tried to explain and could never quite get the words right.
I forwarded this to all of my family.
I give you a heartfelt "Thank you "!
that was a great share Julie...been dealin with it for about 20yrs.
Julie. It was nice to have someone talk about their own experience with Bipolar 2. The rollercoaster was a nice touch. The first time I was diagnosed with Bipolar I told the Psychiatrist there is nothing you can tell me that I cannot understand. Mania. We have almost the same Bipolar 2. I have since settled down thru various ways. Mostly older age. 64. It is a full time job monitoring one's self. Just watching one's own mind in action is a marvel. An Unquiet Mind is a good book. I still have an unquiet mind. It has taken me from the SouthPole to Afghanistan. It has been quite a rollercoaster ride. Thank you for you youtube video. Refreshing. Be well.
Thank you. Very brave of you to go public. I can relate with you soooo much. We are not alone. Take care.
Thank you for your support! I'm so glad you could relate to my story! We are definitely all in this together- it helps to know that my experiences are similar to others' !! :)
I tried to take a free testing for bipolar and the result says i am mildly bipolar. That's why am here to understand. And now i realizes i have my self-healing through self-development. Because before I was more than depressive and ill than now. Thanks be to the Creator, i fare through my darkest moment. Knowing oneself reallt helps when you can accept your weaknesses and strengths. And for those like you who boldly tell their truth, you are all truly an inspiration. Keep on keeping on!
I'm thankful you did this video. I have relatives who live with BP but until I met someone else I like a lot I never cared to understand this struggle. I'm learning.
Thank you for sharing your story💕. Bipolar runs heavy in my family. Lost my brother to suicide in 2012. Medicine help….no shame
This is an extremely well done video. Highly informative and very resourceful and helpful to those who live with this.
I hope you continue to share your journey. Diversity is the rule and everyone who has bipolar expresses themselves and their struggles in a different way. You are a blessing.
Thank you for such a incredible inside. Its very very helpful to see specially the car video. This has saved my life as I'm a wife of a bipolar husband
This is so inspirational to me. Was diagnosed 4 yrs ago, been doing all I can to manage the symptoms. It is very hard. Hearing your story gave me some hope to keep fighting. Thank you. :)
I'm an outsider looking in, meaning I have a loved one with Bipolar illness. It is HARD. Feeling like the person is someone else that you don't know. Going into 3rd decade now. The "strangeness" that comes with it, is so discomforting. I try very hard to be patient and understanding. This girl so accurately shows what Bipolar is like. Bless her so much.
I cried out loud.
The rollercoaster is the very best analogy.
You are brave and beautiful.
Hi Julie Kraft
If all people with mental illness told their story like you more people will realize how real and serious mental illness is. I believe the only way is by telling it like it is. I don’t have a video but I have a story I would like to share to show how in the dark we can be when it comes to mental illness.
I have lost my father and brother to mental illness and did not know what the illness was. In those days, you wouldn’t really talk about it so for me growing up I was “numb”. For my father, it was more depression I believe. For my brother 20 years later it was more,” mixed up”, in and out of the hospital and alcohol. 20 Years later my son admits himself to the hospital, “being very confused” and 6 months later he is discharged with a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder.
I will never know for sure what that early illness was that caused their suicides but it does give me some sort of closure to their passing.
Any information on mental illness helps, just ask,” why do I feel this way?” and don’t stop asking that question until you get the help you need. It takes us so long to realize or admit there is a problem because I think we all know how difficult it is to deal with on every level. Everybody seems afraid to talk about it.
I’m with you Julie it’s time we all let the cat out of the bag and give our experiences to other people so that it may make it easier for them to try to understand and get help.
You are brave Julie and you are only helping people.
For you as a person I judge you as the BEST example of someone facing fear head on.
I would also judge you as someone who makes me very proud.
You have taken a tragedy and turned it into a positive situation for yourself.
Stay strong
Hi Kelly,Wow, thank you so much for your kind words and support - it means so very much to me and affirms that my story is one worth telling! And thank you for sharing the journey you've travelled and endured-- I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your loved ones due to mental illness. I couldn't agree more with you that people need to let the 'cat out of the bag' - I'm so encouraged to be finding more and more stories emerging from others who are walking a similar path! I really do believe that the fear, stigma and stereotypes surrounding mental illness are being shattered by open and honest conversations! Thanks again for your encouraging words and sharing. Wishing you all the best! Julie :)
Thank You Julie, I face the fear head on like you. :)
I'm bursting into tears because of how relatable this is :/
I’ve just been diagnosed with Cyclothymia, or Bipolar III. I totally relate to the bit where you said if someone is walking towards you & you get anxious - I thought it was just me! Racing thoughts are so exhausting. I’ve also been struggling at work with concentration and self confidence. Hopefully that’ll improve now that I know the reason. X
Hi I’m bpd 3 too do u find ur depressed most of the time and have no highs to speak of, and if so how r u managing life?
I'm so happy that I watched this. I cried tears of sadness and relief at the same time. Thank you Julie. . Like#twinmuch? Lol. The exactness of you explaining is perfect. I've been trying so hard to explain it. I will share this video with my partner, my mother and my two teenage sons. The guilt, shame and actual disbelief in a way that I'm not in control has been the hardest. Feeling like a complete freak or outcast, yet others look at my 'mask' and absolutely think I'm together. The part of the mania; the creativity, the energy, the genuine Happy, I'm on top of the world feeling is scary but only because over the years I've learned what's coming next. That's probably my worst frustration and fear. I'm learning to deal.. I have been not dealing and but understanding for so long. I've finally gotten to the point of trying to be more, 'in control' , as far as, being expectant and knowing and dealing. Thank you again Julie. And I can't even believe I ran across this, let alone, left such a long detailed message to this video. It touched down perfectly.
Thank you for making this
This is exactly how I think, Feel and act. Thank you so much for this video. Its everything I have tried to explain but never couls find the words. I am sharing this with my closet family so they can truely hear the words. Everything you were afraid of and what you had to lose was the same for me. I was feeling the same with my diagnosis. Mortifying. I want to hide it. Its so comforting to know others feel this exact same what too. I am not alone. Beautiful job spreading the raw truth!
EVERYONE needs to change the lexicon of mental illness, i.e., "I'm bipolar," "He's bipolar." NO!!!!!!! You have bipolar...you are not bipolar. You would not say, "I'm Parkinsons," or "I'm breast cancer." Having bipolar disorder is just one part of the person who has it and not the totality of them as a human being. Doctors, the public, mental health professionals, family and friends, but most importantly, those who have the disease need to advocate for themselves by saying, "I have this..."I am not this."
GOOD FOR YOU!!! I struggled with genetic bipolar ever since my teens but didn’t get diagnosed until I was 44. Lithium changed my life radically for the better. The last 15 years have truly been my best of learning more about myself and growing in understanding. Your descriptions of the illness are spot on! Thanks for being brave and sharing! I know you have helped someone else. Stay strong!
Just wanted to write and say a huge 'thank you' to everyone for your comments, support, and encouragement -- it all means so much and affirms that my journey is one worth sharing! To all those who have opened up and shared that you are struggling, please don't lose hope or ever give up! Living with a mental illness can feel like an uphill battle at times, but the light is always there and always returns, despite how dark and hopeless things may seem. I know I'm behind in responding to many of your comments - I'm sorry & please forgive me! At times, I can become easily overwhelmed and find it a struggle to answer even my own kids' texts! :) And so, despite my 'silence', please know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I wish you all the very best! xo
Julie Kraft find Allah
Julie Kraft I’m going through a relationship but my disorder is a issue for her
Julie Kraft bipolar disorder sucks sometimes I hate when you get highs and lows constantly
Julie Kraft i loved you...and thank you sharing... *love
Hang in there. Coming out rapid cycling myself. You are a bad ass. Thank you for sharing your story.
This is the power of family. People who will never leave you no matter what. You are very, very lucky.
thank you so much for sharing this you changed my life thank you from deep inside
Wow! I'm so glad I've been able to help you by sharing my journey! :) I wish you all the very best! :)
Wow! I'm so glad I've been able to help you in some way by sharing my journey! :) I wish you all the very best! :)
Julie, I really thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
I have assumed I was bipolar for most of my life because it runs in my immediate family and I got diagnosed in 2020 officially. No one in my family talks about it, no one treats their bipolar in my family. They're okay with letting their bipolar control them. I feel so alone and ashamed when trying to understand why I act the way I do and explain it to my significant other. I feel like I'm not even a person sometimes. Like I'm just here, but not really. I've tried therapy and psychiatrist, and they don’t seem to fully understand either, just want to give me 1000 meds to try. I want to be better, I hope to be better but where do I even start when I don't even understand myself?
Thank you for sharing your story and helping me understand myself a little more. I wish you the best.
Thank you for sharing this with everyone, I can relate to everything you say. I'm bipolar 1
Thank you for your comment! I'm so glad you could relate to my journey! Wishing you all the best on yours! xo
Please don't say "I AM bipolar". You "have" bipolar. You are NOT bipolar. It's NOT your identity.
I am soooo grateful for you sharing your story, and for being vulnerable. This illness is a brain disorder which is so intrusive, disruptive, and shaming for patients and family alike.I absolutely HATE the fact that the main tool offered is psychoactive drugs.It is a Brain Disorder which needs addressing for optimal health.You are living with bipolar, and have so much courage. You make a difference and give hope to us. Wishing you peace, joy and fulfillment in your journey, in spite of living with bipolar. Continue to dream, hope and learn about your condition.
What a beautifully put together video. Thankyou for sharing your story. You nailed it. :-)
How brave and wonderful you are Julie Kraft...A big thumbs up!
You're an inspiration- thank you.
Thank you for this. I was diagnosed a little less than two years ago and I share your struggles. I’ve worried about the exact same things, and can relate so much. I too begged my fiancée to leave me but he was the reason I decided to get help. This was eye opening and helpful.
Great job, Julie. Admire your courage. Im bipolar 2 too, so I know exactly what you re talking about. I wish you a lot of strength.
I hear you Julie and I get it, as a woman with bipolar myself. Please don't be ashamed, you are truly brave and still an amazing human being, this here is an amazing and powerful contribution for all the others.
my boyfriend has bipolar and it breacks my heart to see him go trough alot 😢😢😢
Thank you for sharing your experience. I got diagnosed with bipolar 1. It's still new for me. I'm getting help and hope I can handle it well. Much love x