The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Spot These Personality Traits
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ค. 2024
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What is a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Here's how to spot these personality traits.
In this video, MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson and triple board certified clinical & forensic neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho answer...
Can you define “sensitivity to criticism" from the perspective of a neuropsychologist?
What is a highly sensitive person?
Are people “born” with the personality traits of a highly sensitive person or do they become sensitive?
What are the potential mental health causes these personality traits? (Many people ask about borderline personality disorder specifically)
Is there a difference between a highly sensitive person and an empath - are the personality traits / personality types different?
Why do certain mental health conditions such as a personality disorder lead to sensitivity in taking criticism? Which personality disorders are more prone to sensitivity to taking criticism?
This video will help someone identify whether they have the personality traits of a HSP and understand why they may be feeling this way. There is no shame in being an HSP. This discussion will also help supporters better understand and empathize with a loved one who may be a highly sensitive person.
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The DSM is the biggest construct of the them all, but standing close it as you are, you don't see it.
i remember my mother would say i was an infant and i would cry with some songs. until today i feel people's pain like it is mine. it is a blessing and a curse. I am extremely observant. i do not miss things. i can see people's intention but i have to pretend i do not. i have to protect myself from some people's energies because it might affect mine. Mindfulness has helped me to use my sensitivity properly and protect myself from unwanted stimuli. Thanks!
Same with me
I am the same way! I also have BPD which makes it more painful. My mother has always told me I feel too much. I have so much empathy for others that it can be painful.
As a child one year I was put in an inclusive classroom. So there were children with and without behavioral struggles. The teacher would yell at the kids when they were struggling and make it all worse for them. I’d always go home upset and crying because it made me feel so terrible.
I also have always had a thing for animals. My mother has always told me I have a freaky animal thing where any hurt or lost animal in a fifty mile radius finds me. I brought home so many hurt birds, squirrels and whatnot. And they almost always died by the next day. I would be inconsolable. I’ve seen a lot of people in moments say that people with BPD lack empathy and that’s just not true.
Yepp....and also I can’t watch movies the titanic....cause the ending struck in my head and make feel sad for at least a week...🥲🥲...and also I feel sad when someone skip me on omegal for no reason.....so I stop going there....😅😅
As I am reading some of the comments, It's possible we have confused ourselves with HSP as opposed to Empathic.
I'd be interested to hear - how do you protect yourself from some people's energies?
Also, when I go on vacations with other people they don’t understand that I need to go back to the room and be alone for a couple hours because I get so drained. They always think I’m sad or mad and I’m really not just overstimulated
Must get charged up..I’m drained when I’m not by myself for at least a hour or two everyday I need my solitude. It’s my peace.
@@robertd2055 exactly! They’d be like “you’re wasting the vacation!” I’m like no I’m not I literally need this
yeah thats the life of an introvert
I am the same way and people don’t understand that we need to recharge.
SAME HERE!!!
Highly Sensitive person has nothing to do with tolerance with criticism. You're just more sensitive to people's ENERGY more than anything. We process criticism just like anyone else. She explained it perfectly in the beginning. ❤
She specifically included tolerance and criticism, as was understood in my interpretation, and may just be different perspective you are not or cannot see
Sorry, do not agree. Criticism cuts HSP in a downward spiral.
@@sarahnelson9329 well she doesn't represent everyone neither do I. Move along...
@@gloriakurkowski101 we don't have to agree at all. It's my experience nowhere did I say it's for everyone.
Obviously you just proved her right lol 😂
She's so right HSP get burn out faster. We're like sponges, everything that go through us,both positive and negative. I feel I have need to stay alone more than others to get back energy. I'd say it's a gift and curse be highly sensitive. I'm happy there are so many who can relate.
SO true what you said here...!
This is so accurate!
Yes it’s exhausting!
Very true have to have a emotion sponge 🧽
You are spot on, i do feel the need to stay alone more and i burn out alot. I totally relate with this
I think with me it was growing up with narcissists. It was a survival technique to learn to read people. I also have an anxiety disorder which I also believe comes from being raised with having to constantly read the situation. I get drained by stimuli very quickly.
You're so right!! Me too😞
Same here. My mom was a druggie and my dad usually only got weekend visit and would leave me alone for hours to babysit my brothers while he'd go off to sell drugs.
Right here sis!!!! Even being married 21 years, I'm still asking my husband if he is okay or constantly say I'm sorry just in case.. I did hair for 15 years and taught hair as well to become a platform artist. I couldn't handle it anymore... When it's good it's GOOD.. When it's bad it's BAD!!!
Same situation here. Aside from having anxiety, i also became fearful avoidant
Exactly this.
I'm exhausted most of the time, feeling other people's emotions... change in tone of voice, the ringing of phone, the sound of people laughing, certain voices, the change of weather, people talking on the other room, people staring at me and criticizing me, how my body feels before i have my period, even when i go to church..my left arm and leg would feel hurt, mind is too active and i cannot sleep deeply, waking up to the sound of a squeking door, waking up still feeling exhausted, being highly in tune with everything going on around me, deep thinking, deep feeling of everything past present and future, anxiety is right around the corner, if it gets too much i just break down and cry. Sometimes i wish that i am numb and deaf.. i feel so attacked by other people's energy.. Or is it just me being highly sensitive.. 😫😫
No its not jus u, i totally get it.! Just wanted to let u know all the way from germany !! 🌻🌸💗✌
Me too!!! I'm in my 60s and life is hard. For my whole being to deal with all I am constantly sensing and having to make adjustments and concessions all the time because I am NOT living with, working with, others like me but very opposite It's exhausting, frustrating and also guilt producing. To physically sense the subtle and not subtle changes in everything from atmospheric pressure of some weather system that is still very far away but it's already slightly shifting the air where I live to collective consciousness that is e.g. grieving and in fear to my roommate whose energies are feeling hateful and violent even though she is saying nothing and sitting watching tv in the other room... Like HOW am I suppose to THRIVE when that is always going on even in my sleep and my body is effected with pain and my emotions are charged negatively with all that shifting stress and strain!!?! I'm so frustrated from trying to find the sweet spot and clearly failing or is it an impossibility?
@@SabrinaGraham82 it means a lot when someone gets it. Thank you! 🙏😇
@@donnawoodward3163 Thanks for sharing.. I can totally relate even if im not yet on that age🙏😇
I'd really love a good night's sleep (what's that...?) I'd really love to switch the brain off ...and my nerves, and my over-processing...and the scratchy label on the t-shirt and the annoying noises. I think there are many of us out there Kalimba. On the good side - we're pretty good at empathy. : )
My family has told me my entire life that "I am way to sensitive" which led me to believe that I had a major character flaw for caring about and helping all living creatures.
I have figured out over the past 6 years while healing myself from a severe addiction, childhood trauma with severe emotional neglect, a marriage to an malignant narcissist, severe and repetitive trauma after he stole my 10 month old daughter and 2 year old son 26 years before. I am amazed and proud of how far and how hard I've worked on myself. I 100% embrace being a beautiful, loving, and caring sensitive person I am. I actually feel really bad for people who aren't capable of this type of sensitivity
Yeah the past thirty years my family has said that as well. And nobody takes the time to watch read or even skim over the material I give them so that they can even begin to understand what I go through on a daily. It’s even worse to have a covert narc for a father I literally had to cut him off this year because I refuse to put up with it.
Same, I ended up in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship because I second guessed myself when I was being treated badly because I was always being told I’m just over sensitive and of course this is what my husband would say after insulting me, antagonizing me, etc.
When you cry watching films with suffering or dying animals and everyone look at you like "what's wrong with you?"
@@irinam8709 oh ya but my daughter is even worse than I am lol
It's difficult being a highly sensitive person in this world. I love how we are. There needs to be more of us out there. BUT often it's a difficult path we have.
Use for advantage - You can feel out a room of people - Good Bad
True but it can make you paranoid too.
@@luckystone2293
And anxious -
So well said & agreed!
Thank you!! People don't understand how I'm so OUTGOING, but really, I wanna go home and read a book.
I feel like I'm an actor... I'm always acting , and the worst is to keep up with the "extroverted" part of me that people expect. I really just want to go home and shut the noise.
Same, I think it's a coping mechanism.
I think that makes sense for an HSP as I understand it from this video. I imagine you'd be sensitive enough to others that you want to engage and keep them happy, however extroversion isn't personally rewarding to you so ultimately you need quit/downtime to recharge. I would say boundaries are so important for HSPs.
Feels pretty good to know, that there are a lot of people out there with similar experiences. Do you guys also feel the pressure that you need to socialize, because everyone does it, so you have to force yourself to it, and feel drained after that?
Andre Bisson I am one of those people who doesn't understand. My question to you is why do you act outgoing if you don't want to?
I get it. When my family comes by I get loud and extra outgoing and act silly. I too feel like an actor knowing that deep down I am actually quiet and an idiot introvert and feel my calmest when alone in a quiet environment. No idea why I do this. I always thought it was a nervous coping mechanism for dealing with social anxiety
I thought something was wrong with me for a long time before hearing anything about being highly sensitive. People would tell me "you're too sensitive", making me think there was something wrong with me. Even though there's no 'diagnosis', it helps me relate and accept that I'm a highly sensitive introverted empath. I've also learned there's great power with that, too
Yes, when a family member says mean statements and you get tears in your eyes because you do not want to cause drama by stating your disappointment and anger at how they can be so cruel. The tears, the giveaway, will cause them to call you out "too sensitive". Clearly a reaction that comes from your own body should not be used as a weapon to justify the prior actions, but life is not always fair.
YES 💯
🤗💚☀️
@@uspscindy I've been told this so many times I lost count. I try to hide my feelings due to this because I don't want to come across as too sensitive even though the words hurt.
yess, same for me
I'm so sensitive that I get anxiety attacks from inadvertently wasting time at work. If I do something in an inefficient way, my anxiety goes through the roof. I worry that people are going to be pissed off that I'm taking too long. It's the social anxiety disorder getting in the way again. it's a real pain in the arse.
SAME omg I work the front desk and sometimes there is just nothing to do. Or I think I’m being sloppy or going too slow - especially since I have a tendency to zone in and out while my body autopilots itself. I feel like I make more mistakes than I should be allowed.
@@kriskrispies2127 yeah, it's perfectionism. I have ridiculously high standards of myself and, needless to say, fail to meet them. I handed in a job report for my apprenticeship the other day. I thought it was crap. My training officer is going to use it as an example of how to do a job report 😅
Catholic Guilt? Sometimes these things are engrained at a young age from religious upbringing.
@@claricestar47 I was raised Catholic. Could have contributed I guess.
I get the feeling it's from a deep sense of shame for not being able to stand up for myself, so I try to over-compensate by applying high standards? I dunno, I just pulled that out of my arse
@@letsgoBrandon204 sorry to hear that. Keep going. It sounds like you’re on the right track!
Me watching this: people don’t notice the change of pitch of a voice in a different room???!
🤣 like seriously
Riiiiiight
I always thought it was normal to have it throw you out to hear something like that, buzzing of electricity generally wigs me out too when things around aren’t loud enough to match 😅
Yeah same, I can tell from people's voices how they're feeling or that there was a shift in their feeling sometimes before the people themselves acknowledges they're feeling different
My ears perked at that comment too! What seems so normal to me is hyper awareness for most. So interesting.
Dr. Judy is so stylish I love the green streak in her hair!!
Flair!
She has great style
Love it.
@@Helpasos don’t be a hater lol
I thought it was a streak at first, but it it was actually a ribbon that was holding some of her hair back. :) But thought it was cool either way!
I'm sensitive to clutter because it is visually over stimulating, especially at work, and it overwhelms me. Also people at work are always dumbfounded at my ability to know where things are at all times. Every time I walk into a room, I will clock my surroundings, take in the details, subconsciously catalog where specific items or people are in the room. I'm also an introvert, observant, artistic, contemplative, easily annoyed by intrusive sounds or visuals. Apparently, i'm the poster child for hsp.
I wish my roommate could understand this hahaha sometimes it feels like my brain is constantly organizing and sorting things visually without my consent!
I remember criticisms for years.
Absolutely not. I grew up with 8 siblings in an extremely busy, noisy home & have always been extremely sensitive. I think now that I’m away from the craziness I notice how much it affects me when I’m thrown back into those situations.
I am a highly sensitive person and found great relief when I discovered that there are other people who experience the same challenges that I do in navigating through the world as a HSP. I am grateful for the various communities and social media outlets for HSPs where we can share and express our challenges and feel supported and not judged. It was a relief when I discovered a "name" for my lifetime heightened sensitivity to stimuli. I was ridiculed as a child and made to believe that I was defective, which lead to feelings of worthlessness and shame that I carried into adulthood. Meeting other HSPs has been liberating and has helped me see that I am not alone with my challenges.
Worthless and shame
....thankyou i too felt defective
@@franalem7374 you're not alone! We're ok just the way we are!
Thank you ladies for sharing. I just told my husband on Easter Sunday after hosting his family at my house and feeling the crash after the weight of all of the extra stimuli and negative energy from everyone that I think I must be deficient at doing life in general! It only seems to get worse the older I get, needing more and more downtime for myself to recover after being with people who drain me! I'm 36 now with 2 young children. Does it ever get easier?
Wow I really resonate with what your saying. I was told by my parents (who didn't mean any bad with that) that they wonder how I'm ever going to find someone willing to love me because my sensitivity is apparently so exhausting. And... being sensitive I remember that to this day. I have felt like "too much to put up with" for so long it made me feel very worthless. But I never met someone like me nor did I find a community yet. Where did you get your support?
*you're (sorry English isn't my first language)
Thank you for raising attention to this idea. Observe don’t absorb. ☯️
Ross Rosenberg?
Yasss. Should be a mantra for all empaths and HSPs. It’s def one of mine. 💜
OMG I LOVE THIS COMMENT!!! I never heard “observe don’t absorb” that’s brilliant!!! I am like a fresh sea sponge that is taken from my home in the ocean, and the moment I can get moisture or other’s emotions I soak it up!!! Like I have to spend days in isolation to recover from too much socialization. Which is why the being alone aspect of the pandemic didn’t mentally hurt me as much as it did others. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS! This comment will forever be in my mind now. I 1000% need to learn to observe instead of absorb, it reminds me of meditation where they say to observe and acknowledge your emotions and thoughts and then let them go, don’t hold them in. But this is such a short sweet amazing way to put it! Observe don’t absorb 💗
Love this!
I feel everything very intensive and sometimes things hurt me that don’t usually hurt people. Also,I think deeply about everything that happens to me..I feel other people’s pain and happiness..It’s sometimes very hard. Sometimes it feels like I see/understand/notice things other people don’t- and usually it comes out that I was “right when I said something”..Probably it’s because I automatically observe and see things around myself.
The bad side of this is that I am prone to be hurt often. I still haven’t found a way to cope with this
The benefits I’ve found to being an HSP is I’m an good artist because I can focus on every little detail, and have a way with words and can write really well with ease
Me toooo
I find these people are really good nurses and give compassionate care coz they are constantly putting themselves in the patients shoes
@Sunrise & Sunset The 2 women in this video have Doctorates. They're *not* "nurses". Please don't be sexist.
@@rridderbusch518 They are saying that highly sensitive people make good nurses.
@@rridderbusch518 He or she is talking in general, not specific to this video, meaning that in his or her experience, he or she has found that highly sensitive people have made for "really good nurses" and provided more "compassionate care."
I suggest you ask for clarification from someone prior to demanding something of him or her ("don't be sexist") based on an assumption that may or may not, in fact, be true. I understand how you may have come to that conclusion; however, I do not understand instigating conflict instead of trying to reach understanding or attempting to find a resolution.
I'm a nurse and I work too many days. Don't take care of myself and have to go home and self-medicate on brainless tv shows.
@@rridderbusch518
You didn't read the comment correctly. The person is referring to all nurses in general.
I’m extremely sensitive. I feel emotions very strongly, and I’m very in tune with other people’s feelings. I get overstimulated very, very easily. It’s a blessing and a curse. I need time and space to myself in order to recharge.
I remember from a young child always being able to sense spirit even to this day I can ..I grew up in the country riding horses and raising animals and I was highly sensitive to all animals
🙋🏽♀️ HSP+anxiety+depression but getting better with understanding and self love.
Grew up in critical environment where there was pressure to be perfect (and in my mind to feel loved)
I still constantly try to analyze everyone I meet and know.
Lots of these videos have helped me a lot. :) 💗
I get you
Love how eloquent and well spoken this doctor is
Multiple diagnosing for over 25 years and addicted to psych meds. Life has been brutal. Took myself off, I never felt better. No doctor caught HSP. More awareness needed. Thank you.
I’m highly empathetic AND highly sensitive! I’ve worked all my life to heal and fine-tune these attributes I feel are now my superpowers
So glad to have a name for the way I’ve always felt. I internalize EVERYTHING so no one ever knows how sensitive I really am because I never say anything about it. Feels good to know I’m not weird or overreacting. Working to express my sensitivity more ❤️
I feel the same way like you. Good to know we are not alone!
I’m the same way
I explain it by saying "I am wired wrong". I feel physical pain when I see, or even hear of, someone falling or hurting themselves in any way. The back of my legs hurts. If I watch a very emotional movie (normally not by choice) or hear about something upsetting happening even to people I don't know, keeps awake at night. Yep, I am wired wrong.
I often can't finish a tv series or have to pause a film because I am empathizing too strongly and feel overwhelmed.
I watched a movie once and cried for a week. Like it affected me in a different manner. I got scared at that time coz I was thinking what if those things really happen in real life. 😭😱
Oh you are not wired wrong! You are amazing
@@mamadab2563 Thank you!
My mom had HSP tendencies and I believe my dad was an HSP. They came together and created a super HSP -- me! I see tendencies in my niece, but she seems to be better equipped to cope because she spent her young childhood in a noisy, active daycare/preschool. I grew up in the 3rd house in a "new" neighborhood and played in a wheat field with my dog. My ability to cope is so limited and I get stressed so easily. I have always felt my HSP is from my parents, but your talk made me realize there are environmental factors as well. Very very interesting.
I feel like someone described my life! Let’s connect?
If you are a highly sensitive person, I recommend a career which is gentle on the senses. Massage therapy is a great example if you are also a physically strong person. Maybe something like a Librarian if you are less physical. Don’t stress yourself out with a job that has crazy alarms going off all the time.
I'm in construction and its horrible. It pays my bills and takes care of my wife and son. If I could find something that pays that well and has insurance somewhere in the field of creativity (which is where I shine) I'd leave in a heartbeat.
I'm a HSP and a registered nurse. It's a nightmare, I'm always so incredibly drained when I get home. I also continue to hear all the (phantom) beeping when I get home on particularly difficult days.
as someone whos a HSP and worked in a paper mill, oh. my. god.
I have always been this way. It's a blessing & a curse. I remember when I was young my mother told me that I am very sensitive & that it's a good thing. I did not feel like it was a good thing as my heart was hurting. As I get older I feel like I have it under better control though. I used to drink to numb my feelings whether they were good or bad. It was just too intense.
Having a hard time taking criticism has been a misnomer around highly sensitive people. I used to be too concerned by another's criticism, feeling very concerned that I in some way affected the other person by my actions. It is not annoyance or anger at criticism , it is extreme concern that the other person may not approve of me and then perhaps not be "happy" with me. I no longer feel this way through tons of DBT work, mindfulness, and accepting my thoughts and learning to not "Catch" the ball from other people who may be overly critical. Just because they criticize me does not mean I ever have to believe it. This is also years of being in a 26 year abusive marriage, one with constant verbal abuse and put downs. Learning to think, "NO, your words towards me are false and an indication of your own lack of self esteem'. I now allow loved ones to feel what they want about me, and give both of us space. I no longer feel that I immediately need to fix their annoyance at me. They can be annoyed, and I can still live a good life. I still always am open to want to have a calm discussion with that person and offer a sincere apology if that is needed. What a gift to myself.
I’m a highly sensitive person, with a highly sensitive child. Growing up I had great parents, but they didn’t have the capacity or bandwidth to understand why I was so sensitive. I heard “you’re overreacting, it’s not that big of a deal” so many times in my life, especially in my childhood. I’m glad that I have the emotional capacity to understand my sons emotions, and that while it very well might not be that big of a deal, what he needs, and what I needed as a child, is for someone to meet him where he is, and understand that it feels that big to him, instead of going straight to invalidating his emotions.
I used to shudder as a kid with certain pitches and noises (still bothers me), and pick up on people’s energies, almost like I can “Read the room”
I never really understood why, just new I felt different, the exhaustion, the overwhelm with stimuli- this all makes sense to me! thank you for the information
I am very sensitive to busy cities. I have to live in the mountains away from that
I want both .........Not me......but my system and my personal situation.........on this earth........what I really want or need = actually to be in heaven.......BUUTTTT this is not the deal which is made between me and God...........I had a dream ........i wanted to follow HIM......he sended me back......You have to go back - he said to me.......I always want to hide myself......I do have a house in the mountain and 1 in the village .....very quiet and boring in the village.......BUUUTT ... this is not my purpose yet....not my timing yet....I tried to escape ....you know like Jonas in the bible........or like many others.......but that is not the deal.......you just can not quit yet........Life = not only about you , not about what you want.......it is about the life-mission that you have to fullfill and the better you are at it, the fastest .......you can get out of this....mission - accomplished........The you will be out of your assignment.......
take me with you please 😆😆 I live in one on the biggest cities, and people don't understand just how overwhelming everything is. There's noise all the time, and it's so visually crowded, and oh, the smells!
Me too. My subdivision has a lot of elderly people. And they are all very quiet and it works for me. Plus there are a lot of dogs and I love animals especially dogs. However I do have one new neighbor in my cul-de-sac, and they are slightly annoying younger louder couple
I was born in a large city. I prefer the noise, quiet exteriors make me nervous. Plus, I don't want to disturb animal habitats.
Good insight into HSP. It can be due to many things: environment you were raised in, various types of childhood abuse which is part of the CPTSD/PTSD, possible connections with the autism spectrum. As a sensitive person and an empath I'm learning not to be so sensitive all the time and not absorb everyone else's mood which can be annoying since that's not my mood or "stuff" (other empaths know what I'm referring to)
I agree 100% with Dr. Ramni in that preview clip btw- mental health needs to be taught in elementary school. The earlier the better.
I’m that weird kid in the library who couldn’t even stand people whispering to each other 20 feet away from me. I’ve been told thar I’m weird multiple times when they saw me get emotional so easily, even crying over anime or reading my own journal. But I’m glad that I’m okay with myself being highly sensitive. And I always tell my students at the beginning of the new school year that I’m sensitive to noises or other little things they might even notice. I’m grateful that they are very accommodating.
I'm a highly sensitive person AND an empath. It has helped me bc I never understood why I would feel things differently or stronger than any of my family members. I was always looked on as "too sensitive" and was told that I cried about anything and sometimes nothing. I've always felt like the black sheep and that I never fit anywhere. It's a relief for me to know that there's a reason for why I am the way I am.
If you’re still struggling with your emotions, remember to observe, not to absorb.
I feel people's pain...it can drain me fast.
That’s me aka empath 🙏🏻 I grew up in the country in Maine I never heard an ambulance or a police car or any noise it’s the quietest place in the world! Then I moved to Southern new England to Rhode Island and California and I’ve had problems adjusting ever since I still can’t get over the amount of noise I hear and I’m constantly having anxiety attacks and experience depression until I go back into the quiet woods!
look into noise cancelling head phones. I tried them once they're great I think you might find them useful :)
Wow, this resonated so much with me. Growing up I was absolutely horrified at loud noises. Which is ironic being that I was raised in Chicago. Very loud noises everywhere. But motorcycles, fireworks, balloons, etc would TERRIFY me. I couldn't have balloons at birthday parties for fear of them popping and making a loud noise.. Could always intuitively understand and empathize with how someone was feeling. And definitely felt/feel drained when around people expressing strong emotions. My last boyfriend likened me to a cat because I jump or look at the littlest of noises. Notice every minute expression, tone of voice, etc. Highly sensitive to touch. Can have a conversation with someone, and be fully conscious of what's going on in the next room. Interesting to have someone describe what I've dealt with my entire life. Fantastic interview!👏
me too! And I love Chicago but only to visit and only in small doses when I'm there. I gotta go to my room and shut it all off at the end of the day
Dr. Elaine Aron has an HSP Test on her webpage.
so you "intuitively understand and empathise with others feelings" but become "drained when" others "express stong emotions"? to me feelings and emotions are the same so is it the expression of feelings/emotions you cant tolerate where as if the person stays silent about instead of express feelings/emotions you can empathise?
Reading Elaine Aron's book gave me hope and made me realize that I am fine when I thought there was something wrong with me, but I was always surrounded by narcissists and I did not realize that until a few years later. Now my life makes sense for the first time ever as I go back and reframe things and stay away from toxic personalities
How do you stop attracting NPD s?
HSP is more about the nervous system being overstimulated with sensory stimuli. Perceiving subtleties like she said. Empath is someone who senses/tunes into/feels/absorbs energies, mostly emotional energies, with other people and within spaces. For example an empath might feel what someone is feeling even if that person does not speak about it or if the person is not tuned into their own emotions and energies of their thoughts too.
I am both an HSP and Empath. So I might need quiet and space after alot of talking and sounds and as an empath need a break from being around crowds. Its alot of layers of information coming in. I am an ambivert. I value solitude and enjoy people, engaging and learning and I feel like a person of service with alot to contribute, so I need people in living my purpose. And I DO get overwhelmed and drained.
HSP here! Highly intuitive and have a great read on people and seeing behavior.
Noise affects me highly, as well as negative and hostile energy.
Pros is that I am very genuine and creative.
I feel people who are highly sensitive suffer a lot lot more ..I am a highly sensitive person. Everything she said is so so true.
Kyle: I take criticism very well, but I know many people do not
Me: You know what, i take that very personally
I am trigger by the weather climate, foods,the air conditioning,emotions happy sad & of course people’s vibes etc.It all sets off intensify .
When professionals do accept the idea of “empaths”, they make it sound like you just empathize better. But I can literally feel someone else’s anxiety two floors up, in a closed room with headphones on. No external cues.
Genuine question. How do you know for sure that it is someone else's anxiety? I fully believe that it's possible. I would just like to know how you realized it yourself, that you are an empath.
thats what i instantly wondered also how do you know it is 'someone elses anxiety'?
As someone that works with people, the ability to really tune in and pick up on suddle variations in tone and body language has been so helpful. I can see right through most people just by sitting back and observing. It’s hard to regulate feelings and stay away from burnout- but this is an advantage in my career.
HSP and Empathic is a gift. Not a weakness. We have sense. Not everybody has.
Thank you so much for talking about HSPs♥️
My therapist suggested that I may be a highly sensitive person & actually recommended me the book by Elaine N. Aron & it’s helped me understand myself so much more !
Actually about a third of HSPs are extroverted. and it can be really challenging, because they are fueled by their interactions with people, bug at the same time it costs them a lot of energy because of their sensitivity.
And there are also high sensation seeking HSPs who face similar challenges.
is not only about noises, crowded places (because I can pick up/sense emotions from the people around me)...In my particular case Ive been experiencing these things since I was a child. And I remember how frustrating it was to hear people saying "oh the problem is that you are too sensitive, too emotional"
I m glad we have all this information available because it was a few years back when I heard about HSP and started investigating when all these traits matched with me. It was such a relief to know that I was not "weird" or "freak" I became a therapist because since this is somehting I cannot change at least I will use it as a very effective tool to help other people. thanks for sharing!
Andre, it's great you're a therapist. How do you stop yourself getting depressed from your client's awful childhood stories?
@@suap309 I am a Shiatsu Therapist and of course I hear many different stories. In my case what It helps me is to do my best to work on each person´s body and visualize I am removing any emotion. I work on taking that person to a inner peace state. After the therapy the feedback is always good. People feel releaf not only because of the previous talk to express their feelings but because of the technics we use. Shiatsu has the power to transform our emotions. :)
Very interesting topic. When i hear the statement "Oh, you are too sensitive" it takes me back to my adolescent age of when I was very self conscious about myself, what I did, how I looked and how I was seen.
I realize that I am an empath when it comes to certain things (the desire to make things right for others, take people out of misery and suffering, wanting better for people so that their overall life experience is improved) yet I am not as sensitive when it comes to other things. For example I can't stand over emotional "mushy" moments or anything involving over reactive emotional expressions. I am also sensitive to loud noises that seem to be caused out of anger (people revving their cars and screeching their tires out of anger maybe) more so now in my middle age than when I was younger. On the other hand I really like the sound of loud revving of sports cars at a race track.
I count myself to be a Highly Sensitive Person with a narcissist sister. I see myself holding both genetically and circumstantial traits. I've been called empathic and I agree that I am. I am not an extrovert but have learned how to behave in well enough in a crowd. I am learning from your talks. At 76 I still love learning.
I'm glad they put this all in perspective. All too often we label ourselves as being something because it's what others are talking about. I've stopped trying to read and understand every personality trait, and live my life.
I love that she mentioned the 5 love languages. I made everyone at work take that test. My love language is serving and expect things to get done asap. In order to work well with a coworker with a love language of quality time I would have to sit with them for 10mins and chat about their life before I will get them to do anything for me. Personally I think a sensitive person is more likely to ask for forgiveness and to let go of grudges. We need more people like them in this world.
Literally a life saver. It’s so hard to live with these conditions and part of being proactive is to know and understand myself, so I can better help me. We are very misunderstood and that’s why often times we rather not say that we have certain conditions. Being a HSP is on top of dealing with the conditions is worrying of giving the wrong impression by saying that I am highly sensitive. I often think people repel me because they will feel judge by my highly developed awareness when is actually the contrary. Like I said very misunderstood.
Dr. Ho has reminded me of the positive aspects of living as an HSP. After 3 craniotomies altered my nervous system’s ‘skin less existence’, I recall an instance when my mother fell outside in the ice and snow. I immediately went outside and lay down next to her, calming her down as we waited for the ambulance. She broke her hip in 3 spots. Empathy ruled over me when she needed it the most.
I am HSP but actually have felt superior to those who are not because I thought they were lacking, almost robotic or zombie in nature. Very oblivious to everything going on around them. I find them frustrating because they miss so much that I find obvious. But this helps me see them more humanely. Especially when in their ignorance and sort of blindness to so much, they think they are somehow superior. How ludicrous.
Superiority feels like the issue nowadays. feel good about yourself. Find pride in your sensitivity. I get nervous when I hear an HSP with a superiority complex.
This is true, it feels weird to put it into words but you've articulated it exactly.
Wow, never felt superior. I fought to get any sense of oneness with others. I finally got to where I feel equal and laugh at the thought that anyone feels superior. I think that is the most healthy way to look at things. We are in this together and I wish everyone well on their journey. My end goal is to do little harm and to help improve the life of someone that struggles. Not because I am such a do gooder, but because I was a hurt needy little girl once. I feel for the down trodden. I want to help the bullied. I stand up to bullies. It is a way I heal from all the past days when I was misunderstood and mistreated. My advice to little ones, "Do not listen to the masses if they are doing something that seems wrong. Listen to your heart. It will not steer you wrong."
@@uspscindy Well said
I don't want to make assumptions or diagnose you or anything but you sound like me before I was diagnosed with covert npd traits. Very sensitive to everything and I feel like people miss so much more than I do. I would be careful to feel superior, that's usually not very healthy or helpful in any way.
I resonate with what Dr. Judy said about growing up in a quiet environment and moving to a big city with a lot of noise. From 0 to 8, I lived on a farm. There were no street lights outside my house and cars rarely traveled past my house. When I moved to a big city, I remember hearing cars constantly driving by and the street lights shining into my room while I was trying to sleep. I found that black out curtains, a white noise machine, and keeping the temperature cool helped ease any discomfort I felt.
SUCH good questions Kyle! And the answers to them were so thorough as well. Love it
This was so helpful omg I feel like you explained my life. I always felt odd and 'too sensitive' and I found it my greatest struggle and strength, thank you doctor Judy
I’m SO happy I found this video! And thank you for HOW you presented this subject.
I’ve taken the Mayer Briggs test a few times, and I seem to be half introvert, and half extrovert lol and this explains allot!
Many comments too I can relate to. Like feeling other people being in the room . I enjoy music, and getting a degree in it. I love people, but it seems I get anxiety easy. And it takes a lot for me to recover. I’ve learned to take care of myself, even though it takes a lil extra time.
When I’m recovering from anxiety, my emotions are heightened. I’ve noticed though, that it helps me know what’s going on , it’s like my body reads a transcript of the issues so I can diagnose.
It almost seems as a personality switch to some degree, because instead of being carefree and playful, I’m now battling with anxiety and overthinking everything.
I work through CPTSD as well. I’ve made it really far and am happy :)
I would definitely suggest Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud especially for empathic or sensitive people.
Shifting my own thoughts towards feeling like I am not being able to do whatever, sparks a spiral that is hard to get out of. Just realized this in a new way while writing this and after listening to this and other inspiring things :) Very grateful!!
I'm middle age now and I feel this has been me my whole life and I haven't been able to change it. Everyone around me makes me feel like I should have been able to change and I tried everything.. 🙃
Not as sensitive as I was...I’ve gained perspective with age.
What contributed to my high sensitivity ability was growing up with a sister who had autism. It felt like I had to always be on my guard and have the invisable "tactile rods" out all the time to feel in my surroundings. That developed to be automatically used involuntarily in normal social settings. This is very exhausting but also a very helpful skill in geting to know people in general.
Thanks for the interview, really professional as always Kyle!
This is such a great topic! Thank you guys! Btw, I LOVE how Dr. Judy Ho is so knowledgeable and eloquent, and yet also not afraid to express her unique style. Sending love your way, Dr. Ho!
This is such a wonderful talk. Thank you for addressing this topic.
I'm highly sensitive as are alot of my family members. Its genetic acording to dr elaine Aaron's research. People often wrongly assume I'm on the autism spectrum due to social anxiety and overwhelm in certain situations.
Same! I've been asked so many times whether I'm autistic and when I say "no, the doctors don't think so", they don't believe me.
@@Crocady1 We share a depth of processing with many autistic people but a key difference is shown in brain activity. Areas associated with understanding social cues and body language that are underdeveloped in autistic peoples brains are actually more active in the brains of highly sensitive people, more so than the average person. Hsps make up around 20% of the population. This research is by dr elaine Aron.
@@silvio.r8443 Yes! You hit the nail on the head, 100%! The difference is definitely in the way HSPs notice social cues, even the subtle ones and can easily read, empathize, and relate to others and their emotions. We can feel what they are feeling, sometimes even too intensely! I am HSP and so is my son. I can't even count how many times people have tried to tell me that he has Autism, when he actually doesn't, but also has ADHD and Slow Processing Speed, which can cause a lot of emotional regulation issues and frustration as well, also mimicking ASD in ways not related to the sensory processing.
Astrology has a lot to do with it. Look at your astrological chart
@@silvio.r8443 wow thanks for this. I was diagnosed with Aspergers in my early twenties but as time has gone by I just very strongly suspect she got it wrong. There's too many variables and I was probably super stressed from my life.
patterns living in a busy town (I've moved away now) Plus when it comes to people I have a bit of a CHOSEN hermit mentality . it's not that "I so desperately want to socialise but don't know how " it's that I at my core do not care about it or that need to be accepted or follow the crowd and I project that energy onto people I know because I can't help it lol and it's just the language my brain sees things but I'm not socially deficient I'm annoyingly switched on and it probably freaks some people out lol.
The therapist I saw said "I was quite proud"
That's not to say I don't value my friends and being around people I love I do but I put myself first
It's possible I had it and grew out of it but I honestly don't care 😂 we all die some day so just do the best that you can
Have a nice day :)
I cant wait for this! I just put up a video explaining in details how to cope as a highly sensitive person
So much rang true on this. I'm somewhat of an introvert. I've been working from home since the Covid pandemic began and I absolutely love it. My occupation requires me to go to conferences 4 times a year and I really look forward to seeing everyone, interacting, but I've always told anyone that would listen that yes I had a great time, but I'm exhausted - my battery needs charging. I will return from these outings and I watch tv, nap, play guitar, read but I don't have the energy or desire to go out and interact. Oddly enough, I love going to rock concerts, symphonies and that doesn't seem to 'discharge my battery'. Anyway, it is good to know that I'm not the only out there.
I'm so glad that this subject is being discussed. People have always told me I'm too sensitive in a negative way. For a long time I saw it as a weakness & faulty trait. Now I am better & have found coping with for myself.
I definitely consider myself a highly sensitive person and once I learned more about it, it really allowed me to have a greater sense of self acceptance. Boundaries was a huge thing I needed to learn and once I did it changed my life in such a beautiful way.
I struggle with this so much myself. Especially when it comes to relationships that I have had since before I was able to realize issues and or behaviors that trigger this
@@sarahnelson9329 It was definitely a struggle for me for a long time setting boundaries and learning how to say no without feeling guilty. I lost some relationships because of it and some relationships changed. Yet some became stronger too. I am so much more happier as person for setting boundaries.
Can you give an example of setting your most important boundary?
Love Dr Judy's explanation. Thank you from Singapore. A much needed information in understanding ourselves.
My mind is blown! The Doctor reached into my thoughts and described my childhood/life so well! I have such a difficult time explaining myself and she said it perfectly for me. I shared this with my family and friends in hopes they’ll understand it’s nothing personal that I don’t interact as often with them but still love them dearly. I enjoy my alone time and I’m not depressed. I don’t need as much outward help to be happy and I feel I don’t have to explain myself to everyone and make excuses for being who I am. I also have PTSD on top of being HS and can relate to those who are on the spectrum. I used to think it was a curse but as I age I’m able to develop skills to handle life’s every day challenges and my anxiety is much less. Thank you for taking the time to share and educate us.
Kyle you are a super host and always asks questions right on point . Dr.Judy is fabulous and her knowledge of mental health subjects is so valuable. Always love Dr.Judy segments . Dr.Ramani is a gem as well .
I've just come across this term "highly sensitive" in adulthood. I know about empathy, but never really thought to be a HSP. In childhood & early adulthood I definitely was more logical. "Booksmart but ditzy" my friends would say growing up. Socially anxious and always cared too much about what others thought about me. However, as I've grown older and experienced more & more throughout my life (particularly losses and negative events) I see that I do take things to heart. My family (particularly my daughter) says I take things "too personal" when they're only joking around, but I do believe there is a little bit of truth behind every joke (just like the old sayings "kids & drunks don't lie"). I'm introverted but very talkative around those who I'm close with. My one friend swears I'm an ambiovert. I prefer to stay inside rather than goto a party and like to do activities alone (like writing).
I've suffered with anxiety and depression my whole life. I'm wondering if there is some kind of correlation between being a HSP & mental illness? And is it possible that my experiences have turned me into more of an emotional person or was I that way all along & just never realized it?
ME!!!! While it has its challenges, being highly sensitive actually makes me really good at what I do as a creative writer. I'm also highly sensitive to other people's emotions, so they benefit from that. :)
I resonated! This is why I love working from home and no longer being in the office. I am super sensitive and deal with a form of customer service in my job. But when people's energies become too much I cut it off in order to get my work done.
This video has explained soo much about why I am the way that I am. I care soo much about soo much and soo many. I'm sensitive to textures in fabric, cut tags out of my clothes, I'm super sound sensitive, not that every sound bothers me, but I am very aware, part of which (I believe) is down to being a single parent, having to listen out for my boys from a young age, be aware of orher people's noises around them. I'm also smell aware. I have anxiety which very few people even know as due to my parental responsibilities, I mask and find new focus in tasks and routine for my children.
I know that many of these things are linked to childhood trauma that was hidden and silenced for many years. I am learning soo much about myself and how not to suppress my feelings as with feeling comes healing.
I would love to know how many who are HSP also have ADHD. I, quite frankly, used to despise my HSP aspects growing up because boys/men are supposed to feel this way (so some people think), and this negatively effected my life for 31 years because I was living undiagnosed with ADHD and self-medicated to an extreme. Granted, my case likely isn't like every person with HSP.
Love you guys and all the great work you do! Learning about HSP’s altered my life. For years, I thought there was something wrong with me. I finally started to understand and begin to accept myself.
I am so happy to know that I am not the only one in this situation. Sometimes it is hard to go through certain things because I am sensitive, I get into such a strong sadness, for people around me and for my situations. Sometimes I forget that this is my nature, I can't judge myself for being like this, I can't ignore all this. I need to make certain habits in order not to get crazy, and art has helped me and is helping me a lot. For example I draw, sing, paint, etc.
Sometimes I think I am like the people around me, I forget my nature, I feel so guilty.
I always need some labels to define what I am feeling, to justify my intense feelings.
I feel happy, when I feel happy it feels so wonderful. But when I feel sad, it feels like the end of the world.
She’s so spot on with the description.
This was the best video I’ve seen of yours so far, thank you for spreading the good word about HSP’s. Sensitivity is a power. Society doesn’t want to pull back and see and feel but to just push through. If you are HSP you are here for a reason, to bring awareness to the world through your sensitivity. It requires lots of inner work to use it. Keep going keep working! You are so beautiful ✊🏻take care of your divine self. Self love is the key.
💖🥲
thank you for bringing up the intersection with autism! 1 of my earlier therapists' guess was that I'm HSP. I have an autism diagnosis now w/ overlapping traits of a HSP. It was a 6y journey for my therapist to be able to definitely pinpoint it as autism, its also a late diagnosis at the age of 24y, so it can be VEEERY difficult to differentiate these 2 & me being an empath as well was also very difficult to joggle around to find a proper description for my personality.
I used to be very close w/ a HSP but they had to cancel our friendship due to the mental health effects they experienced when being around me. Its very sad but I had to accept. Now that I have the autism diagnosis I also understand why I was overwhelming to them (& they to me).
I became highly sensitive when I was being myself, expressing myself as my normal self, calm and positively, and I had a few people over the years who were offended and blew up and lashed out on me with passive aggressiveness with projecting their crap on me. Now I fear people significantly, I do not feel comfortable or feel safe getting to know people deeper. I keep my distance from people now because I do not know at any moment when someone could blow up on me. I only keep it on surface level and now I do not visit people at their homes etc. I prefer to be alone and build my self love and strength. In addition to healing my childhood trauma which also had a parent who traumatized me in a similar manner.
I should get my head checked. Some videos make me feel I have ADD and then another makes me think I might be a Sociopath and then another that makes me think it's just HSP or that I'm an Empath. It all resonates on some level...
My adhd won’t allow me to focus on this conversation so I have to get sleep and try again when I wake up whew. I knew I was highly sensitive as a kid. My dad would snore and I’d literally wanna cry. Also the sound of people eating food drives me nuts.
I hate the sound of people eating, too! I especially hate it when people smack their mouths! Drives me bananas!
I have been meditating for a few years, and that has dramatically increased my nervous system sensitivity. It's an interesting double edged sword to be more sensitive to stimuli, I can relate to burn-out easier too.
I meditate too. I would call it gaining greater understanding and with knowledge comes power :)
Yes i agree Multiplication can be taken away for Mental Health Education and treatment mechanisms in school
I'm highly sensitive, there's pros and cons for sure.
Omg some sounds, like mourning doves, drive me bonkers!!
But I love my ability to pick up on subtleties
I am an HSP as well as an empath. Everything discussed is perfectly true for me.
Me too
I welcome constructive criticism from a well intentioned person that I respect.
Yet I've been told I am too sensitive. But that's always from people who are rude, boorish and/or make antagonizing comments. And they also have to be someone I consider part of my friend or family circle. People with whom I expect to feel a certain amount of mutual respect with.
And they hit you with this jab meant to provoke you. And then call you "too sensitive" to deflect what they just did.
And having said that, one does need to develop thick skin to make it in this world.
When I hear "You are too sensitive", I automatically think "Or maybe you are not sensitive enough"...
Thank you for your program. I love people and so many are thrown under the bus. (made to feel less than themselves). I have found that in todays world compassion is not a character trait you see often.
I see a lot of this in my daughter. She was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder (she wanted to call it Sensory Processing Disorder but it was pulled from the diagnostic manual). We wound up doing Brain Balance and it helped a lot with the harder tendencies of what she was dealing with. She is definitely still sensitive but it she is better able to self regulate now.