I prefer videos without the big microphones, I'm not sure why creators use them so much. I feel like it's something in between like a bit of an energy block or a distraction. But maybe I'm just sensitive hehe I always love your videos Vera! 💖💖💖
I stopped explaining myself, my choices, etc. My yes is yes, my no is no, and sometimes I just don't answer at all, esp to nosy, bossy, critical people. Sometimes I don't answer the door or phone if I need some QT , or I just don't want to!
Good on you! It takes a lot of courage to do that since its easily looked upon as "selfish", especially by narcessists or people who feel like your time is owed to them.
I'm a highly sensitive artist and writer. I was never able to work a 9-5 job in a regular workplace because of my sensitivity. I always knew this, but there wasn't the awareness on the part of the people around me. Thanks for making a video on this topic, to add to the knowledge on sensitivity. Osho once said that the question, is not, "Why are you so sensitive?"" But why are others not so sensitive?
hi! I know you posted this comment a long time ago but I wanted to say that I am just like you, and I´m feeling the same way about the 9-5 job... do you mind if I ask how have you dealt with it? It´s been super hard for me to find or even think about a possible job I´d like to do, so if you have any suggestions I´d love to know! thanks
@@graceevans9895 omg this is so me to I’ve been so scared of how I’m going to provide for myself when trying 9/5 jobs I get so overwhelmed to the point of tears and am never happy/ can’t see myself doing it long term. I work alone well and it’s been the longest I’ve held a job. I’ve felt like something is wrong with me it’s not working in general it’s just doing what that will last! You’re not alone! I recently took a job at my. College where I can make my own hours and sometimes work from home I’m very scared it’ll be like every other job where I can’t stay but I’m hoping all goes well. I’ve always been confused on how to grow in the work world if being so sensitive are my internal conditions. 😮
I especially felt that today. I can easily tell when other people aren't feeling or acting like themselves, but almost never do people ask if I'm okay when I'm quiet. You are like an emotional nurse to everyone, but not a lick of empathy shown to you. It does get exhausting.
@@EpiphanyAntoinette I thought there was something wrong with me, but I can see now that I am not the only one! I feel the same. A month ago I was fired from a 9 to 5 job because they thought after 9 months working there, that " I didn't fit"... This time I realize that it wasn't me, it was them. Thank for this video!!! It makes a lot of sense now.
One routine that helps me is getting ready for bed about an hour or so before I go to bed: brushing and flossing teeth, face washing, bedtime clothes, etc. That way I can do some restful activity after my bedtime routine. Then when I start to feel sleepy I can go right to bed and don't have to get over stimulated doing all that stuff.
😂. Same here. I like to get my extensive night time routine done a bit early since I can’t stand feeling rushed about anything. I’m so “fussy” I stress myself out. 😂
I love how you say that highly sensitive people are normal and we don’t need to just toughen up. When I was growing up, I hated that I was so sensitive. Apparently the people around me hated it to because the words, “ you are too sensitive” were thrown at me with distain and anger. But I’ve learned that I am a better person, friend, and mother because of the way I think, feel, and move through the world. I just wish I had learned this earlier.
Amen! I always thought "too sensitive" was a strange thing to say to anyone, when in most situations I cold see greater sensitivity was needed on all parts.
Ive been told all my life im too sensitive... but im the one in the room that would NEVER try to hurt anyones feelings, tease or criticicize because i respect people, and id much rather be kind in this life than be a jerk, So there, lol
Christine, Amanda, I also feel the same! I'm a 65 years old woman, and I learned that I was an introvert, with all that it means, only about 5 years ago. Then, about 2 years later, I also learned about HSP, and I could see that I'm also a highly sensitive person. It helps me tremendously to have discovered that, and I know my life would have been different have I known it when I was younger. BUT now that I know, I want to stay positive and start right now to make changes in my life. I discovered this channel just this week, and I have been watching as many videos as I could because the content is so interesting and I learn so much! Thank you Vera! 😊
I’ve lived my corporate life being frazzled and burnt out for many years. I honestly couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why I could never cope with things the way colleagues seemed to. I just found this and finally, finally I have an explanation that makes complete sense to me. Thanks so much. I’m actually in a bit of shock!
This is exactly my story :) I'm happy for you that this was helpful for you! :) I can really recommend reading Dr Elaine Aron's book (The highly sensitive person) as it was really helpful (and reassuring) for me :) Also, feel free to check out my other HSP videos in my HSP playlist :)
Thank you. I’m going to get the book and am looking forward to catching up with your other videos. Finally I may not have all the answers but I have found a path! Thank you so, so much.
I read the “Highly Sensitive Person” and for the first time in 50+ years realized there was nothing wrong with me, I was just different. It was such a wonderful “aha” moment. I now know how to take better care of myself and arrange my life accordingly. Thank you for these insightful and thoughtful tips.
Studio Ghibli movies are the most healing and joyful thing for me to watch. I also love rewatching original scooby doo episodes over and over. Thank you for your advice and vids. This is inspiring
I pick up on other people’s emotions so easily that I’m trying to learn to ask myself, “how did I feel before this interaction?” in order to reconnect with my own emotions.
My girlfriend is highly sensitive and knowing for the last year about this has helped us both. She is finding playing computer games for the first time has really helped her switch off and also gardening she is loving. She is full of beauty and love for the world and she is now finding things a little easier but we are still working on the sleep side of things. I have just bought another book (read two already) about highly sensitive people to help educate her, me and our friends more on the subject :-) Keep up the great work.
As a highly sensitive person, you are truly being the person we all need in our lives. When you put forth that effort like you have been, we feel valid and seen in a world that seems to not understand us. Thank you for being you. Seriously. 🙌🏻
What a lovely man you are. She is very blessed to have you. My husband is the same way... he loves mes so deeply and genuinely that goes out of his way to support me. I don't think I could handle it if he weren't as patient, kind and understanding. Because of him, I feel I have made vast strides over the years. Together we have figured it out and made compromises for each other. We will be married 33 years in Jan. May you both continue to grow and forge an even stronger bond with each challenge you face & overcome.
Great video! Being an Early Childhood Educator, I find that sensitive children are labelled as dramatic or over emotional, just like I was as a child. It brings me so much joy to build bonds and trust with these children when they realise that they are understood, and their feelings are respected. When a child puts their trust in you, their overall development grows exponentially.
I have just ordered this book, I am a highly sensitive person and my younger child is I believe, he is age 8 and will end up in tears over the smallest thing. I want to understand him more and help him thrive.
I’m glad you are researching and helping him. I know a child like this, male, and adults have said things like they think he is gay and it troubles me to put that label in a child because sensitivity is misunderstood- whether he is or isn’t - why can’t adults consider hsp is a normality in itself and not linked to future sexuality.
Ive struggled with ruminating over social situations for as long as I can remember. First, I thought it was anxiety, which my doctor agreed with. Now I think there's a possibility it's ASD. High sensitivity makes so much sense when I think about all the sensory and emotional difficulties I've gone through throughout my life. Thank you so much for this video.
I've never thought of myself as being a sensitive person until watching your video. When I was told to stop being sensitive, I felt like I was being picked on. But I now own & accept there's only so much I can do and take in. I no longer feel guilty for that. Thank you for this helpful & informative video.
I'm so happy to hear you've learned about yourself and own and accept your sensitivity like that!! :) Learning about high sensitivity has been such a life-changing thing for me, I want to help as many sensitive people as I can. So if my videos contribute to that, if even in small ways, I'm happy :)
It's a misconception that sensitive people are weak, we're actually stronger than less sensitive people. Empaths are the super heroes, not the types of people portrayed in films.
@@thewheatfields8852 I don't know if we are stronger then people that aren't sensitive. I think that can vary person to person. But definitely aren't weak.
I hate myself for being a sensitive person, I admire tough people!!!! If you are a sensitive person the world will walk all over you and you will helpless!!!
I remember when I worked 9-5, I had to ask my coworkers to go out and eat lunch without me, so I could stay alone at the office, have some time for myself, sleep a bit and recharge. They never judged me, for which I’m grateful.
Omg, thank you for saying this….if I lived near my work, I’d run home for a little nap. If I couldn’t there was usually a couch that I could crash on in the staff room. My whole life I’ve thought I had an element of physical un-wellness or basically lazy.
My cooworker especially my hr woman leader judged me why I do not talk so much, why do I work in earplugs - she was typically gaslighting me and I feel discriminated. She was extravert and probably with narcistisctic traits as well.
I do this! I go to lunch at 11.50 so I can sneak out for a walk on my own. If I leave it till 12 then someone inevitably asks me out to lunch with them and I either have to go and come back frazzled or have to say no thanks and then worry about the fact that I've hurt their feelings or that people will think I am weird and antisocial for the rest of the day 😭 After a morning of meetings and conversations and overhearing others around me, I am just desperate to zone out for a bit.
I don’t appear to be a overly sensitive person because I spent my life “faking it” then coming home completely worn out. It wasn’t until my husband died and all of those feelings came out (making myself sick in the process) that I started setting healthy boundaries for myself because I only needed to listen to ME. I do spend a lot of time alone, which I prefer, but I have family and friends with whom I can interact when I want to. Your videos calm me, and I understand myself and my needs better because of you, Thank you so much for making my life better. Stay well. I do like this new filming setup.
Thank you so much for your kind words Karen! I'm so sorry about your husband's passing and that you were sick.. but really glad to hear you're setting boundaries and taking good care of yourself and your well-being :) Take good care!
All very good advice. I am a man, 68y old, HSP; I know I am HSP since nearly 20 year, my daughter gave me a book to read about it. My experience with sensibility is not so positive, living in a city, I have been bullied as child because of it, considered as a freak I grew up through different phases, aggressive, drugs, suicide, and a recurrent depression. All of that because you were not there to give me advice. I seem to be a magnet for people with problems, and having no boundaries, I crashed. Still pushing myself, but getting older, recovery times was longer, my employer put me in early retirement. I am extremely grateful to people like you, telling to people like me that we are not freaks. Thank you.
I found the book The Highly Sensitive Person because you were talking about it in one of your previous videos. I've been reading it for the last couple of days and the amount of times I had to put it down because I finally got why I acted certain ways when I grew up or even now as a grown-up. Thank you for talking about this trait that gets to overlooked way too often in our society that praises outgoing people who are always pushing forward
Ooooh so happy you're enjoying that book!! Learning about high sensitivity has been such a life-changing thing for me, I want to help as many sensitive people as I can :) So if my videos contribute to that, if even in small ways, I'm happy :)
I'm a man, creative designer, artist, I check all the boxes as a hsp, I figure it out alone most of the advice here, remote work is a blessing for me, but is harder for me living in a dangerous poor country and being a man, Colombia, see also most of the comments are from women... so great!
I've always had the traits of a highly sensitive person, and I recently discovered that it's because I'm autistic! It's massively reassuring to know why I experience life the way I do. As hard as it is to live in such a hectic world, I'm grateful for being autistic and sensitive because I'm so conscious of ways to be considerate to others. Love and loss are two sides of the same coin; loving is inevitably the setup for loss, but it's worth every moment. Similarly, high sensitivity will always make painful things hurt more, but it makes the tender things in life that much sweeter :)
Yay! My girlfriend is an H.S.P. and I love her for all the uniqueness she brings to this world. She has value and talent and a heart and empathy and compassion and so much true love to give. Thank you.
I was always wondering why “ breakfast “ and “ coffee time “ is sooo important for me to feel good! And why I need to take a break even for 5 mins around my family and outside.. oh God thanks for youtube! And for you girl! I felt NORMAL!
I am also a highly sensitive person and I chose to live in the countryside because I could not tolerate all the noise and air of a city. Our limbic and central nervous system picks up all the energy and these are emotions (energy in motion). This energy is also patterns of information. Many times I could not understand why I was feeling low or sad, then I found out about highly sensitive people and it made so much sense. For me it helps me a lot being by the sea or a forest. I also meditate and listen to healing frequencies and do pranayama which is wonderful and completely shifts my energy. Exercise is also a must for me, and grounding.
I’m finally accepting this about myself. Thank you for this video. This confirms I’m not crazy…my husband always wonders why I don’t want to stay with or vacation with friends. It’s too much pressure and stimulus; I end up needing a vacation from my vacation. 🤯
Thank you for sharing this … I feel that way about vacations with family and friends, I could only do a few days, I have felt like a need a vacation after that .. it’s so refreshing to finally understand that I’m not a “weird” one bc I am sensitive.
My mother was like that and they made an agreement they would socialize with couples at restaurants or others people's home once a month or more and special occasions. So my mother would not get stressed out. And once in a while at home for Saturday lunch and only if my father hired help for my mother.
People don’t understand why you don’t want to party and socialise. We get called miserable and boring We spend years wondering what’s wrong with us. Thankfully now we have the internet. When I was growing up people just thought we were stuck up or not friendly. There was really no understanding of it or words to describe it. We didn’t even understand it just felt like we were a bit odd.
I am always triggered by overanalyzing social interaction. I’m HSP but not a total introvert, however after any social interaction I keep wondering and thinking and sometimes feeling sad and ashamed, to the point to think that if it was possible I wouldn’t have any interaction anymore - lol. Thank you for your work, clarifying and enlightening about HSP.
You're very welcome :) I can relate to what you said haha, wondering and overthinking after having a social interaction, thinking that maybe I said something wrong, or what if the person didn't have a good time, etc. It's part of it haha, but there's no need for it. So feel free to try and let it go when you recognize it's happening :)
People drain me too and I’m not a total introvert. I found out I’ve got cptsd or “complex post traumatic stress”. I suspect a lot of sensitive people do. PTSD or CPTSD isn’t terribly uncommon. I was always sensitive too though, so it’s both.
@@angelwings7930 yes, same thing here. I often describe myself as 'easily traumatisable' now that I realise I'm a HSP. Anyone with cPTSD will be easily triggered by a number of things (= excessively sensitive), but if you were HSP to begin with, it makes smaller events more traumatic, traumas are more frequent, more easily reactivated and more lasting. And sadly you're also more of a target for bullies. Besides I think the ''trust how you feel about people'' advice is so tricky... because I always feel like 10 feelings a minute, so how do I pick?! Haha
I can relate. After a flippant comment made about me today through work, I was ready to isolate myself for the rest of my life. Tired of getting my feelings hurt. I took a tranquilizer after work and am enjoying some yummy hot chocolate.
I can relate as it is difficult for me to work in an office every day with the overly bright lights, social encounters. I am a total introvert and can hardly wait to get home to my cats. Being around people is overwhelming.
I feel this 💯! I arrange everything I do so that I interact with as few people as possible. If someone’s waiting for the elevator, I take the stairs, etc. And on days I have meetings I go home exhausted. It’s such a struggle that the two day weekend isn’t enough to reset. Bless my kitties! 😅🙌💗
Totally agree! I was lucky enough to figure out that I was sensitive in my early twenties. I thought I was just an irritable bitchy person. But then I realized I was just getting burnt out and overstimulated. When I started being kind to myself it immediately resulted in me being kind to others. It also worked wonders for my marriage. Instead of getting annoyed and snapping at him, I would say "I'm getting irritable" or "I'm stressy" and he would understand that I needed encouragement or support. Definitely let your loved ones in on how you're feeling and let them help you.
Thank you for this video, it really hit home, and I'm seeing so much similar experiences in the comments it suprised me. One thing that helps me is not look at my phone before breakfast or after breakfast. Reason being it takes me out of my body and into my mind, where I ruminate on what I have to do / the future which leads to anxiety and can affect the rest of my day. I always feel bad for avoiding halloween things because it deeply disturbs me, but this video is a good reminder theres nothing wrong with me for being sensetive.
It’s a breath of fresh air to know that there are other HSP around 🙌🏼 For me, communicating my needs was something very difficult but I am working on it, spirituality is another very important aspect in my life cause I find relief in praying and talking to the Lord.
This is so good! I am 60 and have struggled with this my whole life. I wish I had a wise friend like you growing up. So glad we are friends now. You have saved me!🤗🙏❤
it explain my life. I was lately told by a woman that I am a sensetive person and I was some how did not realized it or did anything until this conversation . I am now totally understand why my surrounding is really important to me, like having my own space, having trees and not buildings around me and having a garden is so important for my well being. and now I know that when I don't have this- I get sick and I am kind of sick for 4 months now becouse I though I don't have to have all of this ..... but now it too much stress to now have anything to calm down. thank you I will write them down and try it out
I had to repeat 10:46-11:33 a few times. Not taking on the problems/negative energy of others and setting boundaries are two of the most difficult areas for me.
Oh how I wish I had heard something as wonderful as this video. I'm 68 and it made me feel like not a freak for my sensitivity. From a child whose Mother rubbished me for crying or being upset. Just beautiful, thank you so very much. I now feel validated ❤️
My dad told me constantly to toughen up as a HSP this was alien to me. My sister was not HSP and seemingly not afraid of anything. She was my hero. As I man I felt expected to be tough an not get rattled by everything. In later life my anxieties tended to come out as angry outbursts. I had become my dad. This absolutely killed me as I had promised myself when I was 8 years old I would never, ever be like him. I have no doubt he was a HSP too. I have not yet found it possible to forgive him or myself for the angry outbursts. But I am hoping to do so at some point.
Not taking on other people's baggage is a very hard one for me, there stress becomes my stress if I can't fix it for them. I've found myself relapsing back into my old habits of just not going outside, being afraid to just walk out and check the mail. I'm hoping that having to report back to the office now will force me to get use to going outside even if it's just to walk to work.
It's not always easy :) Hope things will get easier for you again! And if you haven't read it yet, I really recommend checking out Dr Elaine Aron's book called The highly sensitive person, how to thrive if the world overwhelms you. It also talks about these things :)
You' re such a nice person for staying good. I used to be like that at school and everyone was bullying me and I was just getting sad and didn't do anything back, didn't even think resentfully. Now, I guess, I've turned to the dark side because I don't relate to making other people's problems my own. So many people here seem to be like you.
The feelings which sensitive people have always, leads to many health issues and physical pain. Their thinking pattern is very critical that they suffer health problems literally due to feelings and emotions.
This video I felt was aimed directly at my heart. I was told from age 2 that I was "too sensitive". I now know just because I didn't fit in with the rest of my demonstrative family didn't mean I shouldn't have been treated like an outcast. I am much older and wiser now and have embraced my Empath personality and have found others to make so happy because of it. I've showed others you don't have to "hide" that beautiful part of you that is sensitive - it isn't a detriment, it's a characteristic to be joyful of. ***Being in my home art studio is my "grounding tool" for my sensitivity. I need it in my life everyday to finally give myself some "self care" and now I realize it is okay to take care of me. Loved your video!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, glad to hear you enjoyed the video and I loved what you said about how you learned to embrace your sensitivity
Great suggestions. I am 68 years old and much earlier in my life, I felt like I was a freak because I wasn’t an extrovert and I was highly sensitive. I had to learn to take better care of myself over the years.
I am high sensitive and it took me a while to accept this, I would often blame myself for not being able to keep up. Once I accepted it, I quit a highly draining job environment (loud, stressful, never sat down) and feel like a totally different person in a good way. Limiting caffeine intake has been critical for me. My body always tells me when I have gone to far because I feel depressed, and get a horrible headache and nausea. I used to try to keep going but it ALWAYS made it worse. Thanks for the video, Vera!
Ah this is so relatable :) Thanks for sharing Clair. It's true what you said, always trying to keep up and just keep going just makes things worse. Getting the rest we need and doing things our way is really the best way :) Also, I'm excited for you that you made a change with your job!
Get comfy with music without words! Ambiance music takes my sensory overload down from a stage ten panic not ok to a six manageable to know what I need to ease myself down
I discovered that i am a highly sensitive person in 2019 and with that, i too have discovered how deeply misunderstood we are, how much we are gaslighted and how much we are projection receptors.... i am struggling with all that and learn how to best handle it. It is so refreshing to watch your videos... thank you so much for making them and helping me accept that being hps is not an illness and hopefully i get to learn how to best use the traits that come with it as i discover them. Thank you again!!🌻
When I need to concentrate, I always listen the same playlist. I do it since college and im in my 40s. So this playlist make me feel good let my brain know its time to concentrate and Im not overwhelmed by new sounds.
I not able to deal with negative energy from others it really drains me. I am not sure how to deal with it yet. I am trying to manage it. I listen to music and all. Since I had a awakening I have no idea how to deal with things well. I do yoga and have a water fountain in my room and stones and other things that make me happy. I been listening to the other videos thank you. I am so glad this video popped up. Thank you beautiful soul 🦋
I'm a HSP and an empath and for me the most important rule is to allow myself not to play by social rules when it's too much. When I worked in an open plan office I'd most of the time spend lunch time somewhere outside by myself to recharge my batteries. And I allow myself to extract myself from situations where a lot of people are riled up or in another kind of state that affects my negatively. I also started changing to a different place if in a train someone happens to sit nearby who is overly nervous and can't stop tapping their foot etc. Doing these things and not feeling bad for them helped me a lot.
I do things like this. At my previous job we weren’t allowed to leave the premises but every day I sat out and ate my lunch. I think some people may have judged me for it but I come first. It was the only thing that got me through, being able to turn off for a bit with no one around.
Thanks Vera for this! 💖 Noise, crowd and chatter trigger me. I have noticed that I sleep well, from the day we stopped watching news. I’d prefer newspaper instead to keep up with the world.
This was so validating, thank you! I've recently started describing myself as "a low-energy person" and it was really nice to hear many of the things that I already do on this list. It took me a long time to realize that I need to give myself breaks and that it's okay to do so.
Thank you, this is v helpful. I've often felt that I'm too sensitive, mostly due to being told that as a child and at various times in my life by tougher, harder people. It's so refreshing to think that I can embrace it and care for myself whilst still being sensitive. And on that note I'm going to have a short nap before tidying up my studio to make it a nurturing space again, after which I'll do some painting. Wishing all the other sensitive souls out there a peaceful, nurturing day.
Your points are exactly what I found out this year. I got very sick last year and at one point I thought I wouldn't make it and then I realized a few things : 1. I have a strong desire to live and we really only have this one life 2. Sometimes I need some rest just reading a book or going outside will be fine 3. I wasted precious time, years of my life because I thought I'm not strong enough, but now I realize I was possibly stronger all this time then I've ever thought 4. Many people underestimated me, because they thought that I'm shy, but I'm not shy , I'm introverted ( I'm pretty good at leading a discussion or meeting new people) 5. I love my reflection skill. I have a lot of empathy, I'm good at listening, reflect other peoples behaviour, can guess their strategy,and reflect myself and my own strategy and I can change my point of view on many things So why introverted people are more often questionning themself? Because we can reflect, an ability we should be grateful to have. We want to improve ourself constantly and also assure that our environment and the people around us feel good. This realization made me more confident and self aware, when you find and accept yourself you will open up and let people in.
That sounds like a lot to have to go thru- hope you are well onto new phases of positivity. I also wasted many yrs worrying what others thought of me bc I never fit in or totally over-shared due to my passion for certain subjects. I have concern for bullied underdogs and multi-task while checking all aspects of who's near me constantly. I can actually partake in a room of ppl very well except as an Empath, I end up absorbing ALL their energy...good or bad. I then have to go and recharge alone. My worst issue is keeping a paying job -usually so boring and repetitive -I end up not jiving w any team and get let go...sick of the shame surrounding this. If I could stick to a routine, maybe life would make more sense to me.
I'm an HSP, introvert, and a very awkward person. I don't need a lot of friends, but would like at least one. I have no idea how to do it. I'm mid-life too, been struggling with this for years. I just wanna hike, garden, camp, marvel at the amazingness of animals and nature, listen to great music, etc. Why is that such a hard formula to find in other people (that also enjoy my company)?
People are absolutely 100% full of cliches.... people don't just have to "harden up and get over things". They actually need professional support/help. I like your talks. Keep doing it.
I am so glad that I am not alone. In my late fifties and only discover that it is nothing wrong with me. I am just a bit different. I only wish I can find similar people around me. Thank you for your videos. And I am glad that at least there is community of sensitive people on TH-cam.
All of my art friends are highly sensitive people, and we look out for each other if someone goes spacey/dead eyes before everyone else, or we all just go spacey together or try to give each other food or drinks, and then smile and joke about how existence is currently hard, and how much we're looking forward to going home and either sleeping or being alone.
I’ve known for a while I’m sensitive/empathic, and I have a horrible habit of overwhelming, overstimulating and staring myself out until I’m burned out. I’m working on recovering now from a run into that wall this week and I’m finally making the lifestyle changes needed to live a better life. I’m glad I bumped into you and these videos. I need to start living according to my teens and not everyone else’s. Thank you!
Hello Vera, another great video, thank you 😊. I am a highly sensitive person who also has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ M.E. All of your tips and suggestions are extremely useful in helping me to pace my daily activities. One of the best lessons I have learnt is not to feel responsible for the happiness of others. We all have a responsibility to ourselves to create joy in our lives, and if someone we love chooses to continue with behaviours or situations that make them unhappy, then that is their choice. I have learnt to love and support people in a way that doesn’t make me ill.
Love what you shared about taking responsibility for your own happiness, and not for the happiness of others, and supporting people in a way that doesn't hurt yourself :) So important with us sensitives to have boundaries like that :)
I also have CFS and have realised that I'm not responsible for fixing problems for others but lending an ear is more than enough. I also find living by myself helps me recover from being in the outside world.
Although I am tired of hearing the "toughen up" message, I have had trouble getting it out of my head. I believed I should be tougher, and I admire people who are. Accepting being sensitive as a positive attribute is new to me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kathryn :) I think changing our perspective about this can be a process. For some it's an instant light bulb moment thing, and for others (like me, too) it's a long process with ups and downs. :) Don't worry about it, just keep thinking about it and slowly but surely, your attitude towards your sensitivity might change :)
Thank you beautiful. I’m an HSP and your video just helped me realize why I love shopping, but I feel completely drained once I’m finished. I’ve often heard you’re just too sensitive. Loud noises make me feel overstimulated. I’ll be turning 60 this year and didn’t start healing and really learning about myself until I hit my early 50s. I love getting out in nature, especially at the lake near my house, connecting to the water just brings me to a place of peace and reset. I love guided meditations & learning to paint. 🎨 Getting in nature makes me feel connected to something greater than myself.
very good. I needed that, some people want so much out of me, I have had to subtly, gradually pull & be thoughtful of myself & not spread myself to thin
It’s so interesting. I started noticing that my youngest is highly sensitive and only then started realising that I’m also highly sensitive and I’ve been trying so hard to pretend that I’m not. I think that this realisation is going to be a real game changer for me.
Thank you for making me feel I am not alone. You have described my feelings, my routines, my needs for rest and sleep... I have always made great efforts to live like the rest of people, but it didn't work for me: I got extremely tired if I spent long time surrounded with people, or if I tried to go out at night. All day surrounded by my patients and my students also drained my energy...
This is me, my whole life- all of it. I have been more self aware in the last 5 years or so but wish I had understood and listened to my body way earlier in life instead of feeling weird, guilty, or burdensome. Thanks for the content!
I have just found your channel. I am highly sensitive and now understand it. Even coming down to feeling every heartbeat and any pain in my body. People I know always say I am too sensitive and I need to toughen up and I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I now there isn’t. Thank you! 🥰
I totally ignored my limits & necessary sleep last week & really drove myself to a dark place. Hopefully this weekend I can recharge fully & start feeling better again!! I know better!! Idk why I did this to myself 😒ugh oh well. Just reinforces that i can't ignore who I really am 😇
One of the ways I knew I was like this was that I HATE rushing for anything. I looooove to take my time, especially in the morning. I like to wake up before the sun rises to take a few hours to get ready for the day's work. Otherwise Im a mess all day long!
Im a retired teacher. And throughout my career i would identify and point out to students when i believed they were a ‘sensitive instrument’. This always relaxed the pupil. And often led to further conversations. Thank you for these insights. I subscribed immediately! Enjoy the day.
This was so needed. I remember being told that I am too sensitive. It made me feel like it was a bad thing. Now, you have helped me to see it’s okay and a good thing.
It's definitely not a bad thing!! It comes with many advantages too :) Feel free to check out my other videos in my HSP playlist if you want to learn more :)
Thank you so much for this lovely video. I was always different from being a child, and couldn’t understand why friends where not like me. I tended to be bullied, and cared so much for the children that no one would play with. My childhood was all about very Highs, where everything I did was magic, and very lows, where I had a not very nice childhood, but always loved the persecutors. I loved reading poetry, even though I couldn’t understand it, and my mum, couldn’t understand me. Shame not many like poetry, but I did, and started writing it when I was about 17 years old, but the fun I get writing them, pleases me no end. I’m now 77 years old but have never grown up, and everything you talk about is just like me. I’ve noticed my sensitivity more since starting inner child work 9 years ago, which gave me much authenticity and self love. I never now let an emotion go unnoticed, and tend to my hurt self, feeling the feelings, crying the tears, writing how she feels, has been so worth while. Being knowingly on the Ascension Path, for the last 9 years, doing the work mentioned, I now have my own space like you talk about, in our home fir the last 7 years, I love it, and I let my hubby know I can’t take too much information, and need time alone and to get out in nature. I get very tired like you say, more so now than ever, but so do many on the Ascension Path, so it’s not my age. Actually I’m fitter than most my age, because I’ve looked after my body, doing yoga, which I’ve done for 38 years! I love it! Most people don’t warm to me, like neighbors, but I don’t care, I like being odd! Lol. Actually though I chat easily with strangers, though. I love my own space! I can’t be in groups, I feel awkward. I can teach groups, but not be part of them. Maybe that’s normal for HSP people? I love our garden, and always have it looking beautiful. I was a trained Hypno/Psychotherapist for 24 years, but gave up 9 years ago to do the work. I still teach yoga, but on line now, for my daughter-in-law, which keeps my hand in should I wish to go back to teaching. My hubby and I totally different but both love their own space, so that’s good. Thank you so much, your so beautiful. ❤️🙏🥰
These are such good tips! I also bring my “toolbox” with me because if I don’t have my water or lip balm or hand cream I can really feel like a fish out of water 😂 it may take a little more planning for a HSP to have a good day but it is so worth it! 🌿
Hahaha exactly!! :) It's so annoying if you're out somewhere and your hands or lips are dry, or you're thirsty, or something like that, and you don't have the thing to fix it with you
This video is making me realize how I developed a lot of these tools over time out of necessity and a few more recently like letting myself rest when I need to. Taking breaks when I need to. Thank you for making this video it’s helped me realize it’s okay to be sensitive and it’s not a negative thing.
I really enjoy your insights and how much I relate. Always told i was too sensitive, and heard it so often i believed it. Im still trying to understand that highly sensitive people are normal. My triggers include noise, crowds, traffic. I get relief from deep breathing, silence, aromatherapy, being alone for long periods. It's just who I am. If you're highly sensitive, there's nothing wrong with you. We have to be who we are. Everyone else is already taken anyway ❤
Oh my gosh! Thats so me. I'm a mom of 2 young adults and for years I saw all these other moms do it all. I gave up saying yes to everything but all the things you mentioned are so me! Thank you for this video! Acknowledgement. Validation.
Since I was a child,I was told that being too sensitive. So,I've tried to become someone else but recently I've learned to accept who I am. It's great to know that there are many similar type of people out there. Thank you for sharing 💕
Thank you so much for this. When I was a child around 11 or so , I went to the YWCA for the summer. It was a sort of day care/summer school for kids. The counselors would give the parents a report of how the kids were doing. I remember reading the report years later that my mom kept. It read "Leslie (my name lol) is a very sensitive child, not only to her own feelings, but the feelings of others". That really stuck with me as I've always suspected I'm very sensitive. It's so wonderful to find your channel 😊.
You just told the story of my life in this video! So much of what you say describes how I have felt and coped. It is reassuring to learn that this sensitivity is normal. Just to add that it can be an extra challenge for a guy who is expected to conform to stereotypes of how males should be and behave.
I love your calm voice. I also am an HSP. My daughter tells me that my voice is like Xanex. Others say I have a calming demeanor. If I gave the world a gift, its what I would want to give.
So many good relevant points here. Realizing that I am an HSP was life changing and in some ways life saving for me. So many things started to make sense.
Thank you so much for this video. I am exactly that person. Need much time alone, need 9 hours sleep, need regular healthy food intake, very active, drain quickly amongst people, (it does not mean that i dont like to be with poeple), I dont have a strong voice to speak up, i have loads of physical energy as i was a dancer/aerialist, creative activity (singing, writing) and sports give me the most energy. DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR WHO YOU ARE!
Having tea time around 3 hours before bed allows my body to signal it's time to relax! I love creating and mixing some non-caffeinated loose leaf herbs. The whole process is very meditative, give it a try ❤
Great video- if I hear or see too much negativity or sadness and panic, it stores in my thoughts and my energy levels become depleted quickly. It's awful in these negative times...
I loved your tips, because I do feel I am a burden so many times, I feel misunderstood and the odd person, and I really loved how practical you are in giving advice. I like to be at home, I like to be alone, and that is seen as very strange by others, and then I feel bad about it, and you show very clearly that’s ok. I recharge my batteries doing all sorts of creative art: stitching, embroidery, crochet, painting, etc. I love to go by the sea and gather stones and seashells and I love quiet and silent places. ♥️💙💚💛❤️💗🖤💜🧡
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Alexandra, feel free to check out my HSP playlist for more videos about being highly sensitive, if you'd like to learn more about it. :) Take care!
What do you think about this new filming setup? Yay or nay? 🤗👇
Yay 👍
Cool 😎😎👍👍
I prefer videos without the big microphones, I'm not sure why creators use them so much. I feel like it's something in between like a bit of an energy block or a distraction. But maybe I'm just sensitive hehe I always love your videos Vera! 💖💖💖
YAY
I don’t mind,whatever you are most comfortable with.🙂
I stopped explaining myself, my choices, etc. My yes is yes, my no is no, and sometimes I just don't answer at all, esp to nosy, bossy, critical people. Sometimes I don't answer the door or phone if I need some QT , or I just don't want to!
Good on you! It takes a lot of courage to do that since its easily looked upon as "selfish", especially by narcessists or people who feel like your time is owed to them.
I'm a highly sensitive artist and writer. I was never able to work a 9-5 job in a regular workplace because of my sensitivity. I always knew this, but there wasn't the awareness on the part of the people around me. Thanks for making a video on this topic, to add to the knowledge on sensitivity. Osho once said that the question, is not, "Why are you so sensitive?"" But why are others not so sensitive?
hi! I know you posted this comment a long time ago but I wanted to say that I am just like you, and I´m feeling the same way about the 9-5 job... do you mind if I ask how have you dealt with it? It´s been super hard for me to find or even think about a possible job I´d like to do, so if you have any suggestions I´d love to know! thanks
@@graceevans9895 omg this is so me to I’ve been so scared of how I’m going to provide for myself when trying 9/5 jobs I get so overwhelmed to the point of tears and am never happy/ can’t see myself doing it long term. I work alone well and it’s been the longest I’ve held a job. I’ve felt like something is wrong with me it’s not working in general it’s just doing what that will last! You’re not alone! I recently took a job at my. College where I can make my own hours and sometimes work from home I’m very scared it’ll be like every other job where I can’t stay but I’m hoping all goes well. I’ve always been confused on how to grow in the work world if being so sensitive are my internal conditions. 😮
I especially felt that today. I can easily tell when other people aren't feeling or acting like themselves, but almost never do people ask if I'm okay when I'm quiet. You are like an emotional nurse to everyone, but not a lick of empathy shown to you. It does get exhausting.
I feel exactly the same!
@@EpiphanyAntoinette I thought there was something wrong with me, but I can see now that I am not the only one! I feel the same. A month ago I was fired from a 9 to 5 job because they thought after 9 months working there, that " I didn't fit"... This time I realize that it wasn't me, it was them.
Thank for this video!!! It makes a lot of sense now.
One routine that helps me is getting ready for bed about an hour or so before I go to bed: brushing and flossing teeth, face washing, bedtime clothes, etc. That way I can do some restful activity after my bedtime routine. Then when I start to feel sleepy I can go right to bed and don't have to get over stimulated doing all that stuff.
I love that and often do that too :) Thanks for sharing Barbara!
so simple, yet something i very rarely do. i’m going to start doing this tonight. thanks for the suggestion.
That's a great idea. I need to start doing that, too.
This is great advice!
😂. Same here. I like to get my extensive night time routine done a bit early since I can’t stand feeling rushed about anything. I’m so “fussy” I stress myself out. 😂
I love how you say that highly sensitive people are normal and we don’t need to just toughen up. When I was growing up, I hated that I was so sensitive. Apparently the people around me hated it to because the words, “ you are too sensitive” were thrown at me with distain and anger. But I’ve learned that I am a better person, friend, and mother because of the way I think, feel, and move through the world. I just wish I had learned this earlier.
Just get mad a lot and piss on people and you will become a insensitive asshole like everybody else.
Amen! I always thought "too sensitive" was a strange thing to say to anyone, when in most situations I cold see greater sensitivity was needed on all parts.
GENTLE. HATHA. YOGA HUGE HELPS ME
I feel you :) you are not alone here, blessings ;)
Yeah, you'd think that when know you are sensitive..they could say .."It will be okay..."..or something to relax you.
Ive been told all my life im too sensitive... but im the one in the room that would NEVER try to hurt anyones feelings, tease or criticicize because i respect people, and id much rather be kind in this life than be a jerk, So there, lol
Thank you. As a much older lady I wish it had been recognised when I was young. I am an highly sensitive, empathic introvert. xx
I can imagine, since it's such a big eye opener :) Happy you recognize it now! :) Have a lovely weekend
@Christine Schollar Exactly the same here! 🤗
Christine, Amanda, I also feel the same! I'm a 65 years old woman, and I learned that I was an introvert, with all that it means, only about 5 years ago. Then, about 2 years later, I also learned about HSP, and I could see that I'm also a highly sensitive person. It helps me tremendously to have discovered that, and I know my life would have been different have I known it when I was younger. BUT now that I know, I want to stay positive and start right now to make changes in my life. I discovered this channel just this week, and I have been watching as many videos as I could because the content is so interesting and I learn so much! Thank you Vera! 😊
62 and discovered this last week. It explains everything and I'm grateful to have discovered this. This young lady is spot on. TY dear !
Me too, girl. I’m 51 and just now realized this is what my problem has been. Better late than never ? Ughh it is what it is ..
I’ve lived my corporate life being frazzled and burnt out for many years. I honestly couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why I could never cope with things the way colleagues seemed to. I just found this and finally, finally I have an explanation that makes complete sense to me. Thanks so much. I’m actually in a bit of shock!
This is exactly my story :) I'm happy for you that this was helpful for you! :) I can really recommend reading Dr Elaine Aron's book (The highly sensitive person) as it was really helpful (and reassuring) for me :) Also, feel free to check out my other HSP videos in my HSP playlist :)
Thank you. I’m going to get the book and am looking forward to catching up with your other videos. Finally I may not have all the answers but I have found a path! Thank you so, so much.
I read the “Highly Sensitive Person” and for the first time in 50+ years realized there was nothing wrong with me, I was just different. It was such a wonderful “aha” moment. I now know how to take better care of myself and arrange my life accordingly. Thank you for these insightful and thoughtful tips.
Yes!! I had a similar experience :) I'm so thankful that Elaine Aron wrote that book haha
it took me 36 years😢😢 thanks for writing this... omg I don't have to feel alone anymore
Studio Ghibli movies are the most healing and joyful thing for me to watch. I also love rewatching original scooby doo episodes over and over. Thank you for your advice and vids. This is inspiring
I pick up on other people’s emotions so easily that I’m trying to learn to ask myself, “how did I feel before this interaction?” in order to reconnect with my own emotions.
My girlfriend is highly sensitive and knowing for the last year about this has helped us both. She is finding playing computer games for the first time has really helped her switch off and also gardening she is loving. She is full of beauty and love for the world and she is now finding things a little easier but we are still working on the sleep side of things. I have just bought another book (read two already) about highly sensitive people to help educate her, me and our friends more on the subject :-) Keep up the great work.
Love that you and your girlfriend are learning about it together!
Fantastic! This kind of support will benefit both of you, and your friends, too.
As a highly sensitive person, you are truly being the person we all need in our lives. When you put forth that effort like you have been, we feel valid and seen in a world that seems to not understand us. Thank you for being you. Seriously. 🙌🏻
@@rachelkrajewski5995 Thanks Rachel I think it has really helped us both and I love learning about it 🙂
What a lovely man you are. She is very blessed to have you. My husband is the same way... he loves mes so deeply and genuinely that goes out of his way to support me. I don't think I could handle it if he weren't as patient, kind and understanding. Because of him, I feel I have made vast strides over the years. Together we have figured it out and made compromises for each other. We will be married 33 years in Jan. May you both continue to grow and forge an even stronger bond with each challenge you face & overcome.
Restful, yet cheerful colors in your background
Great video! Being an Early Childhood Educator, I find that sensitive children are labelled as dramatic or over emotional, just like I was as a child. It brings me so much joy to build bonds and trust with these children when they realise that they are understood, and their feelings are respected. When a child puts their trust in you, their overall development grows exponentially.
Any resources you would recommend on raising an HSP? I am an hsp and I believe my son is showing signs of it as well.
There is a book by Dr. Elaine Aaron. The Highly Sensitive Child
I have just ordered this book, I am a highly sensitive person and my younger child is I believe, he is age 8 and will end up in tears over the smallest thing. I want to understand him more and help him thrive.
I’m glad you are researching and helping him. I know a child like this, male, and adults have said things like they think he is gay and it troubles me to put that label in a child because sensitivity is misunderstood- whether he is or isn’t - why can’t adults consider hsp is a normality in itself and not linked to future sexuality.
Ive struggled with ruminating over social situations for as long as I can remember. First, I thought it was anxiety, which my doctor agreed with. Now I think there's a possibility it's ASD. High sensitivity makes so much sense when I think about all the sensory and emotional difficulties I've gone through throughout my life. Thank you so much for this video.
I've never thought of myself as being a sensitive person until watching your video. When I was told to stop being sensitive, I felt like I was being picked on. But I now own & accept there's only so much I can do and take in. I no longer feel guilty for that. Thank you for this helpful & informative video.
I'm so happy to hear you've learned about yourself and own and accept your sensitivity like that!! :) Learning about high sensitivity has been such a life-changing thing for me, I want to help as many sensitive people as I can. So if my videos contribute to that, if even in small ways, I'm happy :)
It's a misconception that sensitive people are weak, we're actually stronger than less sensitive people. Empaths are the super heroes, not the types of people portrayed in films.
@@thewheatfields8852 I don't know if we are stronger then people that aren't sensitive. I think that can vary person to person. But definitely aren't weak.
I hate myself for being a sensitive person, I admire tough people!!!!
If you are a sensitive person the world will walk all over you and you will helpless!!!
I remember when I worked 9-5, I had to ask my coworkers to go out and eat lunch without me, so I could stay alone at the office, have some time for myself, sleep a bit and recharge. They never judged me, for which I’m grateful.
Omg, thank you for saying this….if I lived near my work, I’d run home for a little nap. If I couldn’t there was usually a couch that I could crash on in the staff room. My whole life I’ve thought I had an element of physical un-wellness or basically lazy.
I wait for my coworkers to leave the office after 5pm , so that I can get some time for myself to focus and organise for next day's work.
One of the reasons I choose to work fully from home is being able to sleep on my own couch on our 30 minute lunch break.
My cooworker especially my hr woman leader judged me why I do not talk so much, why do I work in earplugs - she was typically gaslighting me and I feel discriminated. She was extravert and probably with narcistisctic traits as well.
I do this! I go to lunch at 11.50 so I can sneak out for a walk on my own.
If I leave it till 12 then someone inevitably asks me out to lunch with them and I either have to go and come back frazzled or have to say no thanks and then worry about the fact that I've hurt their feelings or that people will think I am weird and antisocial for the rest of the day 😭
After a morning of meetings and conversations and overhearing others around me, I am just desperate to zone out for a bit.
I don’t appear to be a overly sensitive person because I spent my life “faking it” then coming home completely worn out. It wasn’t until my husband died and all of those feelings came out (making myself sick in the process) that I started setting healthy boundaries for myself because I only needed to listen to ME. I do spend a lot of time alone, which I prefer, but I have family and friends with whom I can interact when I want to. Your videos calm me, and I understand myself and my needs better because of you, Thank you so much for making my life better. Stay well. I do like this new filming setup.
Thank you so much for your kind words Karen! I'm so sorry about your husband's passing and that you were sick.. but really glad to hear you're setting boundaries and taking good care of yourself and your well-being :) Take good care!
All very good advice. I am a man, 68y old, HSP; I know I am HSP since nearly 20 year, my daughter gave me a book to read about it. My experience with sensibility is not so positive, living in a city, I have been bullied as child because of it, considered as a freak I grew up through different phases, aggressive, drugs, suicide, and a recurrent depression. All of that because you were not there to give me advice. I seem to be a magnet for people with problems, and having no boundaries, I crashed. Still pushing myself, but getting older, recovery times was longer, my employer put me in early retirement. I am extremely grateful to people like you, telling to people like me that we are not freaks. Thank you.
I found the book The Highly Sensitive Person because you were talking about it in one of your previous videos. I've been reading it for the last couple of days and the amount of times I had to put it down because I finally got why I acted certain ways when I grew up or even now as a grown-up. Thank you for talking about this trait that gets to overlooked way too often in our society that praises outgoing people who are always pushing forward
Ooooh so happy you're enjoying that book!! Learning about high sensitivity has been such a life-changing thing for me, I want to help as many sensitive people as I can :) So if my videos contribute to that, if even in small ways, I'm happy :)
I'm a man, creative designer, artist, I check all the boxes as a hsp, I figure it out alone most of the advice here, remote work is a blessing for me, but is harder for me living in a dangerous poor country and being a man, Colombia, see also most of the comments are from women... so great!
❤ wishing you all the blessings God has for you.
I've always had the traits of a highly sensitive person, and I recently discovered that it's because I'm autistic! It's massively reassuring to know why I experience life the way I do. As hard as it is to live in such a hectic world, I'm grateful for being autistic and sensitive because I'm so conscious of ways to be considerate to others. Love and loss are two sides of the same coin; loving is inevitably the setup for loss, but it's worth every moment. Similarly, high sensitivity will always make painful things hurt more, but it makes the tender things in life that much sweeter :)
Yay! My girlfriend is an H.S.P. and I love her for all the uniqueness she brings to this world. She has value and talent and a heart and empathy and compassion and so much true love to give. Thank you.
Aww thats really sweet, im sure sh feels the same about you. we need more of that in the world today.
I was always wondering why “ breakfast “ and “ coffee time “ is sooo important for me to feel good! And why I need to take a break even for 5 mins around my family and outside.. oh God thanks for youtube! And for you girl! I felt NORMAL!
Hahaha totally normal!!! Enjoy your coffee time and alone time! 😁
I am also a highly sensitive person and I chose to live in the countryside because I could not tolerate all the noise and air of a city. Our limbic and central nervous system picks up all the energy and these are emotions (energy in motion). This energy is also patterns of information. Many times I could not understand why I was feeling low or sad, then I found out about highly sensitive people and it made so much sense. For me it helps me a lot being by the sea or a forest. I also meditate and listen to healing frequencies and do pranayama which is wonderful and completely shifts my energy. Exercise is also a must for me, and grounding.
Exactly..!!!
I've been thinking moving to country side.
Don' t do yoga. I' ve heard that it actually makes you worse. Going to church helped me a lot.
@@ΑνατολήΜαρίαΣαμιώτηyoga actually helped me tremendously!
@@ΑνατολήΜαρίαΣαμιώτηDepends on the type of yoga. There are calming, slower paced kinds of yoga that are beneficial.
I’m finally accepting this about myself. Thank you for this video. This confirms I’m not crazy…my husband always wonders why I don’t want to stay with or vacation with friends.
It’s too much pressure and stimulus; I end up needing a vacation from my vacation. 🤯
Happy to hear you're learning more about yourself and accepting your sensitivity :)
Thank you for sharing this … I feel that way about vacations with family and friends, I could only do a few days, I have felt like a need a vacation after that ..
it’s so refreshing to finally understand that I’m not a “weird” one bc I am sensitive.
My mother was like that and they made an agreement they would socialize with couples at restaurants or others people's home once a month or more and special occasions. So my mother would not get stressed out. And once in a while at home for Saturday lunch and only if my father hired help for my mother.
Oh boy , do I ever understand that. Hmmm. Maybe I am a super sensitive person after all.
People don’t understand why you don’t want to party and socialise. We get called miserable and boring We spend years wondering what’s wrong with us. Thankfully now we have the internet. When I was growing up people just thought we were stuck up or not friendly. There was really no understanding of it or words to describe it. We didn’t even understand it just felt like we were a bit odd.
I am always triggered by overanalyzing social interaction. I’m HSP but not a total introvert, however after any social interaction I keep wondering and thinking and sometimes feeling sad and ashamed, to the point to think that if it was possible I wouldn’t have any interaction anymore - lol. Thank you for your work, clarifying and enlightening about HSP.
You're very welcome :) I can relate to what you said haha, wondering and overthinking after having a social interaction, thinking that maybe I said something wrong, or what if the person didn't have a good time, etc. It's part of it haha, but there's no need for it. So feel free to try and let it go when you recognize it's happening :)
People drain me too and I’m not a total introvert. I found out I’ve got cptsd or “complex post traumatic stress”. I suspect a lot of sensitive people do. PTSD or CPTSD isn’t terribly uncommon. I was always sensitive too though, so it’s both.
Same here but I wonder after 40 something years- is this what happens when one is on the spectrum? Don’t know if I am
@@angelwings7930 yes, same thing here. I often describe myself as 'easily traumatisable' now that I realise I'm a HSP.
Anyone with cPTSD will be easily triggered by a number of things (= excessively sensitive), but if you were HSP to begin with, it makes smaller events more traumatic, traumas are more frequent, more easily reactivated and more lasting. And sadly you're also more of a target for bullies.
Besides I think the ''trust how you feel about people'' advice is so tricky... because I always feel like 10 feelings a minute, so how do I pick?! Haha
I can relate. After a flippant comment made about me today through work, I was ready to isolate myself for the rest of my life. Tired of getting my feelings hurt. I took a tranquilizer after work and am enjoying some yummy hot chocolate.
I can relate as it is difficult for me to work in an office every day with the overly bright lights, social encounters. I am a total introvert and can hardly wait to get home to my cats. Being around people is overwhelming.
I feel this 💯! I arrange everything I do so that I interact with as few people as possible. If someone’s waiting for the elevator, I take the stairs, etc. And on days I have meetings I go home exhausted. It’s such a struggle that the two day weekend isn’t enough to reset. Bless my kitties! 😅🙌💗
Totally agree! I was lucky enough to figure out that I was sensitive in my early twenties. I thought I was just an irritable bitchy person. But then I realized I was just getting burnt out and overstimulated. When I started being kind to myself it immediately resulted in me being kind to others. It also worked wonders for my marriage. Instead of getting annoyed and snapping at him, I would say "I'm getting irritable" or "I'm stressy" and he would understand that I needed encouragement or support. Definitely let your loved ones in on how you're feeling and let them help you.
Thank you for this video, it really hit home, and I'm seeing so much similar experiences in the comments it suprised me. One thing that helps me is not look at my phone before breakfast or after breakfast. Reason being it takes me out of my body and into my mind, where I ruminate on what I have to do / the future which leads to anxiety and can affect the rest of my day. I always feel bad for avoiding halloween things because it deeply disturbs me, but this video is a good reminder theres nothing wrong with me for being sensetive.
It’s a breath of fresh air to know that there are other HSP around 🙌🏼
For me, communicating my needs was something very difficult but I am working on it, spirituality is another very important aspect in my life cause I find relief in praying and talking to the Lord.
Cutting the news out of my life has been life changing as well as social media. Love these tips. Thanks!
Wonderful! :)
Great idea!!
❤🙏🙌
This is so good! I am 60 and have struggled with this my whole life. I wish I had a wise friend like you growing up. So glad we are friends now. You have saved me!🤗🙏❤
Aw that is so sweet of you to say, thank you so much 🤗💕 It's never to late to learn how to take better care of ourselves
We need to get together
it explain my life. I was lately told by a woman that I am a sensetive person and I was some how did not realized it or did anything until this conversation .
I am now totally understand why my surrounding is really important to me, like having my own space, having trees and not buildings around me and having a garden is so important for my well being. and now I know that when I don't have this- I get sick and I am kind of sick for 4 months now becouse I though I don't have to have all of this ..... but now it too much stress to now have anything to calm down.
thank you I will write them down and try it out
I had to repeat 10:46-11:33 a few times. Not taking on the problems/negative energy of others and setting boundaries are two of the most difficult areas for me.
Thanks! First video I've seen of yours. Was a tremendous help! Thank you so much! 💓
Aw thank you for the superthanks Trent! I really appreciate it. Happy you enjoyed the video and found it helpful! Take care and have a great day
Oh how I wish I had heard something as wonderful as this video. I'm 68 and it made me feel like not a freak for my sensitivity. From a child whose Mother rubbished me for crying or being upset. Just beautiful, thank you so very much. I now feel validated ❤️
Same here, Sharon, I was always always criticized for being who I was and shamed by my mother
My dad told me constantly to toughen up as a HSP this was alien to me. My sister was not HSP and seemingly not afraid of anything. She was my hero.
As I man I felt expected to be tough an not get rattled by everything. In later life my anxieties tended to come out as angry outbursts. I had become my dad.
This absolutely killed me as I had promised myself when I was 8 years old I would never, ever be like him.
I have no doubt he was a HSP too. I have not yet found it possible to forgive him or myself for the angry outbursts. But I am hoping to do so at some point.
I never heard anyone say these things. I just thought I was weird. Thank you for sharing your insights about being a sensitive person.
Not taking on other people's baggage is a very hard one for me, there stress becomes my stress if I can't fix it for them. I've found myself relapsing back into my old habits of just not going outside, being afraid to just walk out and check the mail. I'm hoping that having to report back to the office now will force me to get use to going outside even if it's just to walk to work.
It's not always easy :) Hope things will get easier for you again! And if you haven't read it yet, I really recommend checking out Dr Elaine Aron's book called The highly sensitive person, how to thrive if the world overwhelms you. It also talks about these things :)
You' re such a nice person for staying good. I used to be like that at school and everyone was bullying me and I was just getting sad and didn't do anything back, didn't even think resentfully. Now, I guess, I've turned to the dark side because I don't relate to making other people's problems my own. So many people here seem to be like you.
The feelings which sensitive people have always, leads to many health issues and physical pain. Their thinking pattern is very critical that they suffer health problems literally due to feelings and emotions.
This video I felt was aimed directly at my heart. I was told from age 2 that I was "too sensitive". I now know just because I didn't fit in with the rest of my demonstrative family didn't mean I shouldn't have been treated like an outcast. I am much older and wiser now and have embraced my Empath personality and have found others to make so happy because of it. I've showed others you don't have to "hide" that beautiful part of you that is sensitive - it isn't a detriment, it's a characteristic to be joyful of. ***Being in my home art studio is my "grounding tool" for my sensitivity. I need it in my life everyday to finally give myself some "self care" and now I realize it is okay to take care of me. Loved your video!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, glad to hear you enjoyed the video and I loved what you said about how you learned to embrace your sensitivity
Great suggestions. I am 68 years old and much earlier in my life, I felt like I was a freak because I wasn’t an extrovert and I was highly sensitive. I had to learn to take better care of myself over the years.
I am high sensitive and it took me a while to accept this, I would often blame myself for not being able to keep up. Once I accepted it, I quit a highly draining job environment (loud, stressful, never sat down) and feel like a totally different person in a good way. Limiting caffeine intake has been critical for me. My body always tells me when I have gone to far because I feel depressed, and get a horrible headache and nausea. I used to try to keep going but it ALWAYS made it worse. Thanks for the video, Vera!
Ah this is so relatable :) Thanks for sharing Clair. It's true what you said, always trying to keep up and just keep going just makes things worse. Getting the rest we need and doing things our way is really the best way :) Also, I'm excited for you that you made a change with your job!
Get comfy with music without words! Ambiance music takes my sensory overload down from a stage ten panic not ok to a six manageable to know what I need to ease myself down
Such a great tip :)
I'm 29 years old. And only now I understand the way I am by watching your videos about sensitive people. I can relate 100% to this! THANK YOU
I am an introverted extrovert; I needed this video today. Thank-you.
Same
I discovered that i am a highly sensitive person in 2019 and with that, i too have discovered how deeply misunderstood we are, how much we are gaslighted and how much we are projection receptors.... i am struggling with all that and learn how to best handle it.
It is so refreshing to watch your videos... thank you so much for making them and helping me accept that being hps is not an illness and hopefully i get to learn how to best use the traits that come with it as i discover them. Thank you again!!🌻
You're very welcome Eva, so happy my videos about sensitivity have been helpful for you :) Take care!
When I need to concentrate, I always listen the same playlist. I do it since college and im in my 40s. So this playlist make me feel good let my brain know its time to concentrate and Im not overwhelmed by new sounds.
As soon as I embraced being an HSP, my whole life changed. My demeanor and the way people treat me. So cool!
Love that so much!
@@SimpleHappyZen
I finally felt seen, accepted and understood. Thank you so much for this❤️
🤗🌺💕
I not able to deal with negative energy from others it really drains me. I am not sure how to deal with it yet. I am trying to manage it. I listen to music and all.
Since I had a awakening I have no idea how to deal with things well. I do yoga and have a water fountain in my room and stones and other things that make me happy.
I been listening to the other videos thank you.
I am so glad this video popped up.
Thank you beautiful soul 🦋
I'm a HSP and an empath and for me the most important rule is to allow myself not to play by social rules when it's too much. When I worked in an open plan office I'd most of the time spend lunch time somewhere outside by myself to recharge my batteries. And I allow myself to extract myself from situations where a lot of people are riled up or in another kind of state that affects my negatively. I also started changing to a different place if in a train someone happens to sit nearby who is overly nervous and can't stop tapping their foot etc. Doing these things and not feeling bad for them helped me a lot.
I absolutely love that! Very relatable too haha
I do things like this. At my previous job we weren’t allowed to leave the premises but every day I sat out and ate my lunch. I think some people may have judged me for it but I come first. It was the only thing that got me through, being able to turn off for a bit with no one around.
Thanks Vera for this! 💖
Noise, crowd and chatter trigger me.
I have noticed that I sleep well, from the day we stopped watching news. I’d prefer newspaper instead to keep up with the world.
Ah that's interesting :) Thanks for sharing Ramya, have a nice day!
This was so validating, thank you! I've recently started describing myself as "a low-energy person" and it was really nice to hear many of the things that I already do on this list. It took me a long time to realize that I need to give myself breaks and that it's okay to do so.
So happy you enjoyed the video :) Take care!
Never knew how much wind bothered me until you said it. It's like my whole nervous system has been compromised, lol.
Thank you, this is v helpful. I've often felt that I'm too sensitive, mostly due to being told that as a child and at various times in my life by tougher, harder people. It's so refreshing to think that I can embrace it and care for myself whilst still being sensitive. And on that note I'm going to have a short nap before tidying up my studio to make it a nurturing space again, after which I'll do some painting. Wishing all the other sensitive souls out there a peaceful, nurturing day.
Oh I loved your comment Kate, thank you so much!! Hope you had a nice nap :)
These advices and tips are a life saver for me.❤💛
Your points are exactly what I found out this year. I got very sick last year and at one point I thought I wouldn't make it and then I realized a few things :
1. I have a strong desire to live and we really only have this one life
2. Sometimes I need some rest just reading a book or going outside will be fine
3. I wasted precious time, years of my life because I thought I'm not strong enough, but now I realize I was possibly stronger all this time then I've ever thought
4. Many people underestimated me, because they thought that I'm shy, but I'm not shy , I'm introverted ( I'm pretty good at leading a discussion or meeting new people)
5. I love my reflection skill. I have a lot of empathy, I'm good at listening, reflect other peoples behaviour, can guess their strategy,and reflect myself and my own strategy and I can change my point of view on many things
So why introverted people are more often questionning themself? Because we can reflect, an ability we should be grateful to have. We want to improve ourself constantly and also assure that our environment and the people around us feel good.
This realization made me more confident and self aware, when you find and accept yourself you will open up and let people in.
That sounds like a lot to have to go thru- hope you are well onto new phases of positivity. I also wasted many yrs worrying what others thought of me bc I never fit in or totally over-shared due to my passion for certain subjects. I have concern for bullied underdogs and multi-task while checking all aspects of who's near me constantly.
I can actually partake in a room of ppl very well except as an Empath, I end up absorbing ALL their energy...good or bad. I then have to go and recharge alone.
My worst issue is keeping a paying job -usually so boring and repetitive -I end up not jiving w any team and get let go...sick of the shame surrounding this.
If I could stick to a routine, maybe life would make more sense to me.
I loved the difference between "tough" and "strong", so eye-opening!
I'm an HSP, introvert, and a very awkward person. I don't need a lot of friends, but would like at least one. I have no idea how to do it. I'm mid-life too, been struggling with this for years. I just wanna hike, garden, camp, marvel at the amazingness of animals and nature, listen to great music, etc. Why is that such a hard formula to find in other people (that also enjoy my company)?
Truth!
People are absolutely 100% full of cliches.... people don't just have to "harden up and get over things". They actually need professional support/help. I like your talks. Keep doing it.
I am so glad that I am not alone. In my late fifties and only discover that it is nothing wrong with me. I am just a bit different. I only wish I can find similar people around me. Thank you for your videos. And I am glad that at least there is community of sensitive people on TH-cam.
Sending you a big hug Joanna 🤗🌱✨🌼
Me too. I’m 58, and it’s only been the last 10 years this has co e to my attention. I was constantly told I was too sensitive.
All of my art friends are highly sensitive people, and we look out for each other if someone goes spacey/dead eyes before everyone else, or we all just go spacey together or try to give each other food or drinks, and then smile and joke about how existence is currently hard, and how much we're looking forward to going home and either sleeping or being alone.
Thank you so much. You gave me hope. Life is beautiful. ❤
You're really doing a great job. Thanks for the list. Your voice is also so comforting and calm. Keep it up!!!
I’ve known for a while I’m sensitive/empathic, and I have a horrible habit of overwhelming, overstimulating and staring myself out until I’m burned out. I’m working on recovering now from a run into that wall this week and I’m finally making the lifestyle changes needed to live a better life. I’m glad I bumped into you and these videos. I need to start living according to my teens and not everyone else’s. Thank you!
Hello Vera, another great video, thank you 😊. I am a highly sensitive person who also has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ M.E. All of your tips and suggestions are extremely useful in helping me to pace my daily activities. One of the best lessons I have learnt is not to feel responsible for the happiness of others. We all have a responsibility to ourselves to create joy in our lives, and if someone we love chooses to continue with behaviours or situations that make them unhappy, then that is their choice. I have learnt to love and support people in a way that doesn’t make me ill.
Love what you shared about taking responsibility for your own happiness, and not for the happiness of others, and supporting people in a way that doesn't hurt yourself :) So important with us sensitives to have boundaries like that :)
I also have CFS and have realised that I'm not responsible for fixing problems for others but lending an ear is more than enough. I also find living by myself helps me recover from being in the outside world.
Have you checked you haven't got Asperger's add hypomobility why I have CFS fybromyalgia
@@melodybroome6203 have you got Asperger's I didn't find out reason until 43 CFS 26 fybromyalgia 6
Although I am tired of hearing the "toughen up" message, I have had trouble getting it out of my head. I believed I should be tougher, and I admire people who are. Accepting being sensitive as a positive attribute is new to me.
Toughness is being valued over sensitivity in own society because we live in a patriarchy
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kathryn :) I think changing our perspective about this can be a process. For some it's an instant light bulb moment thing, and for others (like me, too) it's a long process with ups and downs. :) Don't worry about it, just keep thinking about it and slowly but surely, your attitude towards your sensitivity might change :)
What a lovely thing to come across a year later than you made it . Its so informative, thank you .
Thank you beautiful. I’m an HSP and your video just helped me realize why I love shopping, but I feel completely drained once I’m finished. I’ve often heard you’re just too sensitive. Loud noises make me feel overstimulated. I’ll be turning 60 this year and didn’t start healing and really learning about myself until I hit my early 50s. I love getting out in nature, especially at the lake near my house, connecting to the water just brings me to a place of peace and reset. I love guided meditations & learning to paint. 🎨 Getting in nature makes me feel connected to something greater than myself.
very good. I needed that, some people
want so much out of me, I have had to subtly, gradually pull & be thoughtful of myself & not spread myself to thin
It’s so interesting. I started noticing that my youngest is highly sensitive and only then started realising that I’m also highly sensitive and I’ve been trying so hard to pretend that I’m not.
I think that this realisation is going to be a real game changer for me.
This is truly the best video of yours that I have ever listened to. It really speaks to me and I am grateful for you.
Thank you for making me feel I am not alone. You have described my feelings, my routines, my needs for rest and sleep... I have always made great efforts to live like the rest of people, but it didn't work for me: I got extremely tired if I spent long time surrounded with people, or if I tried to go out at night. All day surrounded by my patients and my students also drained my energy...
You're very welcome Elena, you're definitely not alone in this! Feel free to browse my HSP playlist for more videos about being highly sensitive
Wore sunglasses in Walmart. Helped me stay more focused...less stimuli
This is me, my whole life- all of it. I have been more self aware in the last 5 years or so but wish I had understood and listened to my body way earlier in life instead of feeling weird, guilty, or burdensome. Thanks for the content!
I have just found your channel. I am highly sensitive and now understand it. Even coming down to feeling every heartbeat and any pain in my body. People I know always say I am too sensitive and I need to toughen up and I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I now there isn’t. Thank you! 🥰
I totally ignored my limits & necessary sleep last week & really drove myself to a dark place. Hopefully this weekend I can recharge fully & start feeling better again!! I know better!! Idk why I did this to myself 😒ugh oh well. Just reinforces that i can't ignore who I really am 😇
Hahaha that still happens to me too 😄 It's funny how we need the reminders sometimes :) Hope you can take it easy this weekend!
Appreciate this advice…I’m 79 and have not tried any of your tips until now. Thank you.
One of the ways I knew I was like this was that I HATE rushing for anything. I looooove to take my time, especially in the morning. I like to wake up before the sun rises to take a few hours to get ready for the day's work. Otherwise Im a mess all day long!
Me too :)
Im a retired teacher. And throughout my career i would identify and point out to students when i believed they were a ‘sensitive instrument’. This always relaxed the pupil. And often led to further conversations.
Thank you for these insights. I subscribed immediately! Enjoy the day.
This was so needed. I remember being told that I am too sensitive. It made me feel like it was a bad thing. Now, you have helped me to see it’s okay and a good thing.
It's definitely not a bad thing!! It comes with many advantages too :) Feel free to check out my other videos in my HSP playlist if you want to learn more :)
Thank you so much for this lovely video. I was always different from being a child, and couldn’t understand why friends where not like me. I tended to be bullied, and cared so much for the children that no one would play with. My childhood was all about very Highs, where everything I did was magic, and very lows, where I had a not very nice childhood, but always loved the persecutors.
I loved reading poetry, even though I couldn’t understand it, and my mum, couldn’t understand me. Shame not many like poetry, but I did, and started writing it when I was about 17 years old, but the fun I get writing them, pleases me no end.
I’m now 77 years old but have never grown up, and everything you talk about is just like me. I’ve noticed my sensitivity more since starting inner child work 9 years ago, which gave me much authenticity and self love. I never now let an emotion go unnoticed, and tend to my hurt self, feeling the feelings, crying the tears, writing how she feels, has been so worth while.
Being knowingly on the Ascension Path, for the last 9 years, doing the work mentioned, I now have my own space like you talk about, in our home fir the last 7 years, I love it, and I let my hubby know I can’t take too much information, and need time alone and to get out in nature. I get very tired like you say, more so now than ever, but so do many on the Ascension Path, so it’s not my age.
Actually I’m fitter than most my age, because I’ve looked after my body, doing yoga, which I’ve done for 38 years! I love it!
Most people don’t warm to me, like neighbors, but I don’t care, I like being odd! Lol. Actually though I chat easily with strangers, though.
I love my own space! I can’t be in groups, I feel awkward. I can teach groups, but not be part of them. Maybe that’s normal for HSP people?
I love our garden, and always have it looking beautiful. I was a trained Hypno/Psychotherapist for 24 years, but gave up 9 years ago to do the work. I still teach yoga, but on line now, for my daughter-in-law, which keeps my hand in should I wish to go back to teaching. My hubby and I totally different but both love their own space, so that’s good. Thank you so much, your so beautiful. ❤️🙏🥰
These are such good tips! I also bring my “toolbox” with me because if I don’t have my water or lip balm or hand cream I can really feel like a fish out of water 😂 it may take a little more planning for a HSP to have a good day but it is so worth it! 🌿
Hahaha exactly!! :) It's so annoying if you're out somewhere and your hands or lips are dry, or you're thirsty, or something like that, and you don't have the thing to fix it with you
Lol! My entire life I’ve been made fun of because I always need my chapstick, lotion and water bottle! I thought it was just me!
This video is making me realize how I developed a lot of these tools over time out of necessity and a few more recently like letting myself rest when I need to. Taking breaks when I need to. Thank you for making this video it’s helped me realize it’s okay to be sensitive and it’s not a negative thing.
I really enjoy your insights and how much I relate. Always told i was too sensitive, and heard it so often i believed it. Im still trying to understand that highly sensitive people are normal. My triggers include noise, crowds, traffic. I get relief from deep breathing, silence, aromatherapy, being alone for long periods. It's just who I am. If you're highly sensitive, there's nothing wrong with you. We have to be who we are. Everyone else is already taken anyway ❤
The weather and high wind overwhelms me and creates anxiety
Oh my gosh! Thats so me. I'm a mom of 2 young adults and for years I saw all these other moms do it all. I gave up saying yes to everything but all the things you mentioned are so me! Thank you for this video! Acknowledgement. Validation.
You're very welcome Lauren, so happy the video was helpful for you :) Take care!
Since I was a child,I was told that being too sensitive. So,I've tried to become someone else but recently I've learned to accept who I am.
It's great to know that there are many similar type of people out there. Thank you for sharing 💕
Thank you so much for this. When I was a child around 11 or so , I went to the YWCA for the summer. It was a sort of day care/summer school for kids. The counselors would give the parents a report of how the kids were doing. I remember reading the report years later that my mom kept. It read "Leslie (my name lol) is a very sensitive child, not only to her own feelings, but the feelings of others". That really stuck with me as I've always suspected I'm very sensitive. It's so wonderful to find your channel 😊.
Hit the nail on the head. I've always considered myself an introvert but what I'm hearing here resonates much more deeply for me. Thank you !~
You just told the story of my life in this video! So much of what you say describes how I have felt and coped. It is reassuring to learn that this sensitivity is normal. Just to add that it can be an extra challenge for a guy who is expected to conform to stereotypes of how males should be and behave.
I love your calm voice. I also am an HSP. My daughter tells me that my voice is like Xanex. Others say I have a calming demeanor. If I gave the world a gift, its what I would want to give.
So many good relevant points here. Realizing that I am an HSP was life changing and in some ways life saving for me. So many things started to make sense.
Thank you so much for this video. I am exactly that person. Need much time alone, need 9 hours sleep, need regular healthy food intake, very active, drain quickly amongst people, (it does not mean that i dont like to be with poeple), I dont have a strong voice to speak up, i have loads of physical energy as i was a dancer/aerialist, creative activity (singing, writing) and sports give me the most energy. DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR WHO YOU ARE!
Having tea time around 3 hours before bed allows my body to signal it's time to relax! I love creating and mixing some non-caffeinated loose leaf herbs. The whole process is very meditative, give it a try ❤
Love that too!! :) I have a tea recipe like that in my latest video
Great video- if I hear or see too much negativity or sadness and panic, it stores in my thoughts and my energy levels become depleted quickly. It's awful in these negative times...
I loved your tips, because I do feel I am a burden so many times, I feel misunderstood and the odd person, and I really loved how practical you are in giving advice. I like to be at home, I like to be alone, and that is seen as very strange by others, and then I feel bad about it, and you show very clearly that’s ok. I recharge my batteries doing all sorts of creative art: stitching, embroidery, crochet, painting, etc. I love to go by the sea and gather stones and seashells and I love quiet and silent places. ♥️💙💚💛❤️💗🖤💜🧡
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Alexandra, feel free to check out my HSP playlist for more videos about being highly sensitive, if you'd like to learn more about it. :) Take care!
You are speaking directly to me. This was my first time watching and I'm glad I did.