1. Hit the gym 2. Write out exactly what you want to do, the outcome you want, and then have a friend read it back to you 3. Get with a therapist and counselor, figure out where insecurity is coming from 4. Affirm the positives of what you are going through (surround yourself with people who exude good) 5. Practice mindfulness
The positives I feel right now are being able to have a peaceful atmosphere and the chance to do the things I like to do without feeling I have to text or call him all the time for the fear of being dumped in case I took too long or not enough time. I hate the loneliness, and I try to fill my time with exercise and keeping busy. The feeling I miss the most are the hugs and the kisses and the daft silly little things, but after finding out about 'reactive Abuse' and why I left, I know that the life I've got now is better than the one I had with him, and that helps to reaffirm. I used to block him but not anymore because I'm not afraid to face him should he get in touch. 🍒
went on my facebook and unintentionally saw my ex fiance post a pic of her. that hurt. 2 months no contact and seeing her face lit this fire in my chest and gave me a good cry. so sick of feeling this :/
Positive of break up: I was insecure and needy. It has been a couple weeks when she asked for space. Begged the first week. No contact for over a week. Been working out at home, visiting friends I neglected. Working on my house. Spending more time with my kids. Being more social even when I felt like staying home. Forced myself out. Roller coaster but it gets better. Previous ex reached out 8 months after break up. I had moved on. I like the new gf/ex who asked for space due to her divorce and my issues. Best thing that could happen. We will see if she comes back. If not, I have to be ok with that too. Good luck. Thanks Rory and coach lee! Kenneth too.
It took me 2 months after breakup to finally say that I've moved on from my ex. I haven't even checked your videos for like 3 months already. I'm starting to date that's why I'm back just to check on some advice.
Almost 3 weeks of N.C..Now that I’m getting better everyday and I’m getting used to not messaging him..he messaged me..he said he now realized my importance, and that he wants me back..this is what I prayed before..but now, I’m afraid..idk what to do..I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt again..idk if I can still trust him coz he denied me as her gf before because he wanted to breakup with me..then, right after our breakup, he entered a rebound relationship..but I told him to give me time to think...idk what to do..
Mi Zaki Make him work for it! Don't accept him right back without making sure he means it and DO NOT CHASE! Let him come to you every time until he has earned his way back!
The Love Chat hi it’s me again..sorry. he just changed his mind..he told me that he just wants to be friends...I was doing better before he texted and called me and now I’m back to being hurt again...he’s just playing with my feelings. He said he’s not sure about his feelings for me..but why would he ask me to come back to him if he’s not sure about it?! I said okay to being friends with him, but I don’t think I will reply on his messages again...he keeps on hurting me..
@@TheLoveChat What if I go to the gym anyway, and my ex goes to the gym lots anyway. Does that mean that they will be getting over the break up quicker, and easier? Therefore, no contact won't be as successful?
How can we be complete if we are constantly growing and changing throughout our whole lives? If you wait to be fully complete before you find someone who is fully complete, would we not be single forever? Is it not more important to have a sense of self and a pretty good self esteem, with the intention of a healthy relationship, the wanting of a commitment, and the effort to create that? I happen to be someone who enjoys quality time with my partner. If I'm seeing someone, I enjoy that they are around. I feel like a lot of the dating coaches preach separateness above all else, when a real, deep connection comes from togetherness.so for someone like myself, watching videos (not all of them BTW, I think there's lots of value in yours Rory) tells me I'm doing it wrong. I'm not the type of person who will have a relationship because I enjoy closeness and that "scares people away", When I'm actually the type of person who has the skillset to be in in a relationship. Just to make it clear, I accept that my partner or someone I'm dating has their own life and I wouldn't get upset if they wanted to do something without me. Just food for thought guys. Don't be so hard on yourselves, Def work on self growth and think a lot. Figure out what feels right for you and know who you are ( your needs and values) then only date ppl who fit (want to give you what you need, and have similar values) always make the effort for your partner, you should want to meet their needs, nothing wrong with that, BUT it needs to be reciprocal. If someone thinks you're too needy because THEY are scared of connection, they are not the person for you. Don't beat yourself up. To help anxiety strt reading good books on relationships so you can build the skillset, so you're ready when a good partner comes along. "Staying power" (lesbian relationships) takes a look at long term couples and their stories (so you can see how different relationships really are and don't need to fit a mold) "Getting to commitment" talks about obstacles you may face building a solid relationship and what to look for when dating ppl who may not be the commitment types atm. Excellent book, I've read it three times:) "Don't sweat the small stuff in love" easy read and great info if you're critical and easily upset. "The five love languages" another easy read and small book. great insight into our needs and the needs of our partner. I always thought this would be a great book to read with our new partner, could do a chapter at a time. You're welcome in advance lol. Also, perhaps "the intimacy dance" by Harriott learner. We all need to learn how to relate, and any books that can teach validation of our partners needs are very important. The more you know the better yiu can guide you partner as well, because like I stated earlier, we are always a work in progress. Good luck to you all, love accept and respect yourselves. And thank you to The Love chat for good content.
My ex found a new hobby (that takes up a lot of her time and involves 200 people) and when that happened I felt invisible. I encouraged her to do it btw. I feel the hobby replaced the need for me. Will her new hobby deter her/help her move on/not contact me?
My girlfriend always says to me “You’re so different to most guys and you’re not needy at all. You hardly text me when we’re not together and you aren’t overly emotional” this has really helped me to set the boundaries for the relationship. As I know she thinks that if she were to try and leave me, there would be no begging or pleading on my part, and I think this scares the shit out of her. Is that a good position to be in? Thanks!
Sir he dint call me yet .what to do sir ?should I call him ? I miss him lot I think hi forget me .I am very upset after 10 days it will complete 3 month of breakup . I think this time he seriously gone.
Pls help me sir . How can hi forget everything I really don't understand . I did everything for him and he totally forgot about that please help me sir
Lubna Kazi dont feel bad tommorow it well be a new year and it well be at least 7 or 8 months for me since my girl left me my advice just go into NC meaning dont text dont call give him the gift of missing you and if you love him set them tough break but i did it keep your self busy date other people its what ive been doing even it feels aquaward but just live your life. good luck
Lubna Kazi i know the feeling its not fun but you well get through it but in the meantime keep busy make friends date new people i know people were telling me the same stuff but there Apsoulutly right its only been 3 months me its been a half a year and she already promised shes not coming and after all ive done for her and treated her like gold i say shame on her any questions im here happy new year.
Klint Kwiecien happy New year to you also thanks again. I don't understand why they do like this I did same I did lots of thing for him but he left me without giving me reason. I try to make new friend but still I can't date with anyone. Even I took meddicen but really thanks for understanding
1. Hit the gym
2. Write out exactly what you want to do, the outcome you want, and then have a friend read it back to you
3. Get with a therapist and counselor, figure out where insecurity is coming from
4. Affirm the positives of what you are going through (surround yourself with people who exude good)
5. Practice mindfulness
I dont need a therapist.I look toward Frank Underwood for strenght.
Can you do a vid on why you can’t concentrate after a break up? Like on work, school, life etc. Also, what you can do to get back on track. 🙏🏼
The positives I feel right now are being able to have a peaceful atmosphere and the chance to do the things I like to do without feeling I have to text or call him all the time for the fear of being dumped in case I took too long or not enough time. I hate the loneliness, and I try to fill my time with exercise and keeping busy. The feeling I miss the most are the hugs and the kisses and the daft silly little things, but after finding out about 'reactive Abuse' and why I left, I know that the life I've got now is better than the one I had with him, and that helps to reaffirm. I used to block him but not anymore because I'm not afraid to face him should he get in touch. 🍒
went on my facebook and unintentionally saw my ex fiance post a pic of her. that hurt. 2 months no contact and seeing her face lit this fire in my chest and gave me a good cry. so sick of feeling this :/
Positive of break up: I was insecure and needy. It has been a couple weeks when she asked for space. Begged the first week. No contact for over a week. Been working out at home, visiting friends I neglected. Working on my house. Spending more time with my kids. Being more social even when I felt like staying home. Forced myself out. Roller coaster but it gets better. Previous ex reached out 8 months after break up. I had moved on. I like the new gf/ex who asked for space due to her divorce and my issues. Best thing that could happen. We will see if she comes back. If not, I have to be ok with that too. Good luck. Thanks Rory and coach lee! Kenneth too.
Yes, it did motivate me a lot an still continues
It took me 2 months after breakup to finally say that I've moved on from my ex. I haven't even checked your videos for like 3 months already. I'm starting to date that's why I'm back just to check on some advice.
Almost 3 weeks of N.C..Now that I’m getting better everyday and I’m getting used to not messaging him..he messaged me..he said he now realized my importance, and that he wants me back..this is what I prayed before..but now, I’m afraid..idk what to do..I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt again..idk if I can still trust him coz he denied me as her gf before because he wanted to breakup with me..then, right after our breakup, he entered a rebound relationship..but I told him to give me time to think...idk what to do..
Mi Zaki Make him work for it! Don't accept him right back without making sure he means it and DO NOT CHASE! Let him come to you every time until he has earned his way back!
The Love Chat i will. Thank you! ❤️
The Love Chat hi it’s me again..sorry. he just changed his mind..he told me that he just wants to be friends...I was doing better before he texted and called me and now I’m back to being hurt again...he’s just playing with my feelings. He said he’s not sure about his feelings for me..but why would he ask me to come back to him if he’s not sure about it?! I said okay to being friends with him, but I don’t think I will reply on his messages again...he keeps on hurting me..
@@TheLoveChat What if I go to the gym anyway, and my ex goes to the gym lots anyway. Does that mean that they will be getting over the break up quicker, and easier? Therefore, no contact won't be as successful?
How can we be complete if we are constantly growing and changing throughout our whole lives? If you wait to be fully complete before you find someone who is fully complete, would we not be single forever? Is it not more important to have a sense of self and a pretty good self esteem, with the intention of a healthy relationship, the wanting of a commitment, and the effort to create that? I happen to be someone who enjoys quality time with my partner. If I'm seeing someone, I enjoy that they are around. I feel like a lot of the dating coaches preach separateness above all else, when a real, deep connection comes from togetherness.so for someone like myself, watching videos (not all of them BTW, I think there's lots of value in yours Rory) tells me I'm doing it wrong. I'm not the type of person who will have a relationship because I enjoy closeness and that "scares people away", When I'm actually the type of person who has the skillset to be in in a relationship. Just to make it clear, I accept that my partner or someone I'm dating has their own life and I wouldn't get upset if they wanted to do something without me. Just food for thought guys. Don't be so hard on yourselves, Def work on self growth and think a lot. Figure out what feels right for you and know who you are ( your needs and values) then only date ppl who fit (want to give you what you need, and have similar values) always make the effort for your partner, you should want to meet their needs, nothing wrong with that, BUT it needs to be reciprocal. If someone thinks you're too needy because THEY are scared of connection, they are not the person for you. Don't beat yourself up.
To help anxiety strt reading good books on relationships so you can build the skillset, so you're ready when a good partner comes along.
"Staying power" (lesbian relationships) takes a look at long term couples and their stories (so you can see how different relationships really are and don't need to fit a mold)
"Getting to commitment" talks about obstacles you may face building a solid relationship and what to look for when dating ppl who may not be the commitment types atm. Excellent book, I've read it three times:)
"Don't sweat the small stuff in love" easy read and great info if you're critical and easily upset.
"The five love languages" another easy read and small book. great insight into our needs and the needs of our partner. I always thought this would be a great book to read with our new partner, could do a chapter at a time. You're welcome in advance lol.
Also, perhaps "the intimacy dance" by Harriott learner. We all need to learn how to relate, and any books that can teach validation of our partners needs are very important. The more you know the better yiu can guide you partner as well, because like I stated earlier, we are always a work in progress.
Good luck to you all, love accept and respect yourselves. And thank you to The Love chat for good content.
My ex found a new hobby (that takes up a lot of her time and involves 200 people) and when that happened I felt invisible. I encouraged her to do it btw. I feel the hobby replaced the need for me. Will her new hobby deter her/help her move on/not contact me?
My girlfriend always says to me “You’re so different to most guys and you’re not needy at all. You hardly text me when we’re not together and you aren’t overly emotional” this has really helped me to set the boundaries for the relationship. As I know she thinks that if she were to try and leave me, there would be no begging or pleading on my part, and I think this scares the shit out of her. Is that a good position to be in? Thanks!
TenTonKoala it’s a very good position
If you're in a good relationship, why are you even thinking about a breakup?
Sir he dint call me yet .what to do sir ?should I call him ? I miss him lot I think hi forget me .I am very upset after 10 days it will complete 3 month of breakup . I think this time he seriously gone.
Pls help me sir . How can hi forget everything I really don't understand . I did everything for him and he totally forgot about that please help me sir
Lubna Kazi dont feel bad tommorow it well be a new year and it well be at least 7 or 8 months for me since my girl left me my advice just go into NC meaning dont text dont call give him the gift of missing you and if you love him set them tough break but i did it keep your self busy date other people its what ive been doing even it feels aquaward but just live your life. good luck
Klint Kwiecien thank you so much but it is not easy for me .but I will try thank dear
Lubna Kazi i know the feeling its not fun but you well get through it but in the meantime keep busy make friends date new people i know people were telling me the same stuff but there Apsoulutly right its only been 3 months me its been a half a year and she already promised shes not coming and after all ive done for her and treated her like gold i say shame on her any questions im here happy new year.
Klint Kwiecien happy New year to you also thanks again. I don't understand why they do like this I did same I did lots of thing for him but he left me without giving me reason. I try to make new friend but still I can't date with anyone. Even I took meddicen but really thanks for understanding
Can you please do a video on long distance relationship break up? Thanks!
Brett Koch you bet!
is it possible we could talk privately ? i’ve been in a ldr for over a year and i really need someone to talk to..
carla q Hello Carla, I do offer private Coaching! Visit www.thelovechat.net/coaching
The Love Chat is there any way i could get just a bit of advice as i really cannot afford it right now..
The Love Chat i emailed you..