No contact can be therapeutic only when your doing it to fix yourself and not attract your ex! Remember that ...I lost my sanity(still do) thinking ohhh if I do no contact I will attract them again ... and the truth is you don’t need toxic people in your life , you don’t need people who have dumped you , find someone who appreciates you
i fucked up and broke no contact and it hurt like hell. However, with a girl with abandonment issues, i had to do limited contact instead. NC now though, since I got what i needed to say out.
Things I can work on... 1. Work on my body, hit the gym more. 2. A more positive vibe 3. Be strong mentally and try not to think of the ex as often. Work on me 😁
worked on myself - new built body - new friends - new job at pharmacy - graduating soon - got a scholarship - learned a lot of guitar - meditation - reading - limited access to cell phone - no contact yet still no sign of my ex
@@chilla939 Just created another vk account and texted her back she missed me but tbh she slept with so many dudes during this period and she was single again but cuz of this I refused to be with her again so we decided to stay as friends, some guys might don't mind if their girl slept with dudes during their break up period, but I understand that no contact can work even for such long periods of time.
AGoodQudsi If you have new friends, new job and new hobby, you can easily find a new person to date. I am stuck because all people at my job are women, and all of my friends are women, so I can’t find a guy anywhere except public places, which rarely works.
If he apologizes you'll again start growing feelings towards him and that's not a good thing trust me... Best thing is just FORGET and believe that there are WAY better person in your life to look forward to
because tanishq do they never get karma for what they have done to us ? Or they never feel our love back? And I feel my ex behaviour is like a covert narcissist. 😭😢
@@priyaakshita334 of course they would but for that you have to develop your self... Trust me I've been on this situation and I felt like world was over... My ex was a textbook example of the word narcissist (so much so that I didn't understood the meaning of this word until I faced her and her BS) that much of a narcissist she was... But hey I just did the wise move and walked away and completely ignored her and started working on myself and looked out for new people, and experiences... There's a movie The Swingers... It really gave out a message: When you truly work on yourself and move on for good, the magic happens and that is probably you get a call from ya ex.. anyhu just believe in yourself and just COMPLETELY ignore and look out for people or someone who'll treat you like the way you wish for.. trust me everything gets better with time... Personal experience
I honestly don’t want my ex back. I just want to stop caring and not attracted to them anymore, because my ex was a really beautiful girl, so it’s hard.
Break up 10months I'm waiting for my ex 10months I decided to work on myself to improve 1)slim 5kg more 2)start a bakery class learning something new 3)traveling myself 4)read more book 5)im just bought an apartment start busy renovation
Good job. My ex has been gone about the same amount of time. Have seen her with someone else. Im pushing forward. Lost weight, gained muscle and doing my best to bring myself back from the dead. Good for you! you have my support and best wishes. Rick :)
1. Starting my career 2. Finally getting abs (aka lots and lots of exercise)! :D 3. Being more social with my friends and family 4. Forgiving myself and my ex 5. Understanding my part in the breakup and working towards making sure those particular mistakes never happen again for the sake of my future relationships (whoever they may be with)
Ex just reached out! 3 weeks after breakup plus 5 weeks of no contact. Not sure what’s going to happen, but I’m using the skills I’ve learnt over the last 5 weeks of detaching, self soothing and self esteem work. I was anxiously attached and became needy. The old relationship is over. This is potentially the start of something new. I know so much more about myself and my attachment style. I don’t need my ex. I don’t need anyone. But I do want a relationship. I’ve just sent a reply, now I’m going for my morning go run and I’ll meditate after. Thank you love chat!
1. loss weight and build muscles 2. new job 3. new friends hang out with 4. keep on learning new cube puzzles, i have 22 cube puzzles : ) 5. stop porn and be man im calling to be
1. Be more outgoing 2. Reignite my independent filmmaking career 3. Work on my relationship with Myself and God. 4. Take more risks. 5. Pick up drawing and guitar.
Rory, you are awesome! 1. Exercise more. 2. Read more. 3. Learn to communicate and control my emotions better. 4. Travel more. 5. Just be an overall loving and caring person.
1. my body even better 2. start flirting with other women and beat social anxiety 3. start going out alone and make new friends 4. get a job in a gym 5. start a youtube channel
1. Get fit 2. Have veneers 3. Therapy 4. Start a business up 5. Play guitar Gyms open Monday Booked at dentist for June Been doing therapy for 2 months Had a few guitar lessons Start new company Tuesday on the 4th
It's good that you mentioned it might be hard cuz we may be really depressed..cuz I've been really sad these days and staying motivated can get so hard at times.
membering: Agreed. It's a never ending challenge to stay motivated and move in a positive, healthy direction. Not gonna lie ... some days I fail horribly at it. I'm getting slightly better at not beating myself up on those days. And on the days when I do great or even just ok? Well, I feel those are wins I deserve. Best wishes for you.
I need to buy a guitar I have to loose some pounds I started reading more books spending more time with family Being more social in the gym Damn i used to be all alone when i was dating my ex i forgot who i was..
Had a Skype Session with Rory , very informative and helped me a lot as I was questioning myself and struggling with the breakup and NC. Highly recommended Guys
1) no contact 2) Sticking up for yourself, boundaries 3)physical stature, gym and/or self care= looks matter.... be careful who you attract. 4)social attraction, appear more attractive being seen with the opposite sex/threat partner.. 5) interact positively in a crowed...noticed by ex 6) list 5 to 10 things to change for yourself.... 7) trust the process -gym, already lost 6lbs -clearing out old energy and old things from my house -new career goals -healthier diet -meditation -more rest -improve my painting
1. Worked on myself.. Successfully dated 3 girls since the ex with my newfound knowledge of the "dating game" 2. Got myself my own apartment (a huge step in the right direction for me) 3. Got a raise at work, and have been taking lots of OT work. 4. Musically, I have some of the most exciting projects that I'm ever going to be involved with going into 2019.. Clearly I've been growing, so I wonder if she's noticing.......
@07 very cool DUDE.. I know how you feel... its easy to say who the fuck cares what she thinks... Hard to get our minds to that point... But that is the ideal point... You know how they say once you let go,,, women seem to know... Well it worked that way in my situation. As an aside.. I rejoined a Acoustic Guitar group lesson... So I'm growing musically also
@@matrixband12 I like that saying haha.. It's true though.. The girl before my ex was begging me to come over and have sex with her, but by that point I lost all interest.. I almost got there this summer with my ex.. July was a really fun month for me, and I definitely went a few days without thinking of her.. Gotta get to that point again! And that's cool man.. Playing a musical instrument is a GREAT distraction.
Just got dumped after 8 years, this is the only channel getting me through. Your voice is so soothing, ur ex is missing out. Also you sound like Seaman from Sega Dreamcast
I really like the fact that you mention how important attraction. Because whether or not people like it, it's the truth. The last time I saw my ex I literally looked like I was dying (thanks depression) and I could tell he wasn't attracted to me like he had been. The one thing I really want to change is my employment status.
Yep. My ex who is very gentle and diplomatic usually, saw me for the first time after 5 months (I was abroad). I had gained 50 pounds in our relationship (lots of drinking and partying). Plus I started smoking again while together (she is a health fanatic). During the breakup, she specifically said I looked like 'death' lol,
After 16 years together my wife left. Once i started to really work in me with fitness, new hobbies like playing guitar. I also started reading many books being really solitair after breakup i starte to go out and still working to build new social surroundings,i can honestly say It is her loss. I don't want her back my life is better and i am more me then ever. Stil, setting new goals and lots to do without having to be accountable.
Mutually broke up 11 months on Valentines Day ;( . She is now seeing someone else. 1.Work on myself...that’s lots of fun! 2.Improving big time in the gym 3.practice not letting my insecurities get in my way 4.know who is mor important her or me 5.practice self love 6. Enjoy the moments with myself 7. Try something new everyday 8. Laugh more especially at my stupid thoughts, yes!! 10. Looks for answers within 11. Use my breakup for leverage to motivate myself for awesome changes....like yoga.
One more thing...I realized my breakup is now about her anymore, it’s about me....knowing that makes it so much easier to let her go and know I’m on my way to bigger and better things.
Great video: Ex gone FOR A WHILE NOW. My all-time favorite dog has bone cancer and I have to put him down tomorrow. I am dealing with it and doing my DAMDEST not to let it push me back down in to the emotional black pit of hell. He would not want me to be sad. he would want me to do the following: 1. Lose 40lbs. I have lost 20 so far. :) Stopped the booze and crap food. Feel so much better. Imagine that!!! lolol 2. Go out and do anything. I tend to be a hermit in the house. 3. Ride my bike. About to snow in Minnesota so this will be tough. MMM? Got it. Walk the gym track :) 4. Maybe go on a date. OR JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. EVEN IF IT IS BY MYSELF. It's A START. 5.keep myself distracted so as to keep depression under control
Things I’ve accomplished since the breakup: 1. I actually have friends now. I’m learning that I am actually likeable and capable of making and keeping friends when I’m more authentic and don’t just focus on my ex! 2. Painting 3. Biking 4. Hiking 5. Made travel plans with friends 6. Relearning to drive (I’m 29 years old but always been scared by a past accident) 7. Hoping to go to nursing school next year 8. Learning to play an instrument 9. Learning a new language 10. Reading more books 11. I’m emotionally healthier and less anxious and less depressed due to everything mentioned above! 12. Joined a creative contest at work and won hehe Now I just need to work on my fitness. I’m having so much fun dating myself that I’m not even sure if I want him back. Maybe I do, but I hope he doesn’t reach out for four more months at least hahaha.
1. start running again 2. expand my social circle 3. get over the fear of being single 4. graduate from university 5. improve my relationship with my family
Another great video. Understanding the logic of what is happening in my break up, is so useful. Rory, you have agreat clean and clear way of explaining. Thank you
Love your work! Would love to see some content about friendship, toxic friendships versus great friendships, and also topics about how to handle those tough conversations and the psychology behind it.
Its not easy at first, but when you can finally improve yourself it is absolutely worth it. Step out of your comfort zone. Push yourself and become self sufficient. You will feel stronger than you've ever felt before
LoveChat, can you talk about some of these ideas: how to move on while still having hope for reconciliation, How to deal with the thoughts about your ex finding a rebound, If they are constantly thinking of their first love as they’re dating, not giving up hope when everything seems possible, how she changes the way she feels at the beginning of the end of relationship compared to being away for a while, if her parents don’t believe in divorce and still love and message you could they somewhat influence her decision later down the road, how to come back and show you’re no longer a verbal abuser. Just a few things like that.
I am going to: 1) Grow my photography business and become more secure financially 2) Work through my childhood trauma with a psychologist and become more securely attached (vs. anxious now) 3) Join classes (e.g. salsa dancing) and other social hobbies where I can meet new people 4) Keep working on my physique (power & endurance) 5) Start meditating daily to help with my emotional balance
Rory, if you could, even though this is a small percentage of time, do a video on about when a ex either lives directly across the street on how to handle that no contact, or when the ex mother is trying to remain friends after a breakup
Items from my list 1- Communication skills 2- Mental stability 3- The ability to act without thinking on what others might say 4- Read more 5 - Start a vlog
This is the most perspective video I’ve watched here it does work . I’ve gone threw no contact I’ve gone from a super negative person to the optimistic and positive person I know, and weather it get me my ex back or not I’m happy with myself. Even if I can’t it made me a better person and I agree with everything said in this video
"people want what they can't have." that's all good when you're in no contact and stuff, but when you do get back together do they still can want you? Given that same concept(grass is always greener syndrome). And how do you still apply that same concept when you get back together?
I lost 15 pounds, I bought my first car, learned how to drive, got my license, then got my GED, so then I applied to college and got accepted. I want to be a firefighter so I want to study fire science, soon I want to volunteer to be a firefighter for a few days before I start school again. Also I want to rearrange my room because it's small and a good change will help a lot. And something crazy fun i want to do by September is go skydiving I'm excited about all of it. The breakup happened on February 28th but I kept working hard, I saw no light at the end of the tunnel but once summer started it was like God released me and I just went boom💥!
My goals after she dumped me! 1. Read more books 2. Call up friends to check in on them rather than just going to them when I’m feeling down 3. Get abs by December 2020 (6months!) 4. Expand my diecast hobby page/side hustle (@dailydiecastsg) 5. Get a new job, I don’t like where I’m at but covid-19 situation makes it hard to get another job
Could you please go over something about the ex's life going downhill after the breakup? For instance I saw a picture of my ex on my friend's post and he gained weight. Someone also told my friends he's having a hard time and it's been several months since the split. He is the dumper. I'm not digging for these emotional triggers. I'm not talking or asking about him. I'd like to continue to move forward and look past little mental hurdles. Tips are appreciated!
Thanks Rory: Went NC 245 days. she reached out sever times... Physical Changes: Lost about 20 LBS... training for a marathon... 18 miles last Sunday for my training run. I grew a beard and started putting Gel into it to be more stylish. Some of my female coworkers have helped with new wardrobe. I saw ex 2 weekend ago.. we hung out. Then she says she just wants to be friends. Rory how about that as topic? I said NO to friends... she knows I want more.. She got mad I said NO to friends. SO Im on day 2 of NC...
you said she got mad because you refused to be just friends..that is good.. keep going stay on NC and maby at the end you will find yourself doesn't whant her back
Hey bro! Weren't you saying that you thought she'd never reach out in other vids? This is encouraging to me because I'm a little over 210 days of NC, so maybe there still is some hope that I'll get a text some day. The physical changes are commendable. You should really do that for yourself though, not her. That's why I haven't really done much in that department. I'm already fit, and have no desire to look like a juicehead lol. Anyway, yeah.. Stick to your guns and stay no contact. She's still trying to see if she has power over you, and testing to see if you've become mentally stronger over the course of all these months. Strict NC from this point on.
In no specefic order: 1. Dont care about the outcome its about having fun 2. Work out 3. Find one or more new hobby's / pasions 4. Go outside every day 5. Try something new 6. Practice DJ-ing 7. Get a drivers licence 8. Daily meditation (this one is tough for me) 9. Love myself (stop needing other people to feel whole/good/not alone)
I have always stood up for myself, been tough, a 'challenge' etc but after a while women DO get fed up. Not sure what happened in my first relationship (she cheated for 6 months) but in my other two relationships being 'tough' and standing up for yourself only lasts so long before you need to be nice. I guess a balance is the way forward. Just don't be a pushover and don't always be available at any stage of a relationship. Keep some mystery alive but BE NICE.
Well after she said she doesn't wanna see me anymore i mopped alone for a couple of weeks and then i quit my shitty job... I wanted something higher risk/reward so i just applied and started it 😉 i wanna overcome my fears one by one now!
1. Get fit to climb a mountain (started going to the gym)! I loved doing this in the past and I’m gonna do it again! 2. Learn some Spanish! I love language and it’s useful! 3. Already moved into my own place in an area I love! 4. Make new queer connections and nourish my current relationships so I have a solid sense of community, see who else is out there, and build my confidence 5. Already accepted a much improved job from my current one! Work life balance baby! I’m doing great. I’m lucky to have me ❤
SHOULD I even get an ex back?? How she gonna throw someone away like that who has been nothing but true with her and 100% behind her. I was fit, I was working on my goals and projects, things are slowly coming together. We were long-distance, I think that is the main reason cause shit went down the drain when lockdown started. Maybe she just thinks the grass is greener somewhere else? I'm starting to be able to come up with less and less reasons on why I should want her back. She probably has moved on already anyway, it's been 3 months.
I recently broke up with my ex and we have to live together until she move out in 2 weeks. It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up. After a couple of days into the break up she went to her parent’s house with her 5yr old son. I wish I watched your channel much earlier. I texted her to understand what had happened because I felt like there was a miscommunication. After she explained the situation from her perspective, I came to accept the decision. Just a couple of days ago, she came back home because she needed to bring her son back to his dad’s house. I can’t do no contact until after she’s gone because now we are stuck in quarantine. She invited her sister to stay with us while she’s here. What should I do? We have had very normal interaction because I told her to not act weird during the time that we are stuck together especially with her sister around. I have asked her before to not bring her sister but apparently this time there was a reason to (Even though there is always other solution). During the time that she’s here, I took down our photos together, stopped location sharing and have been talking to friends more often. She was acting weird yesterday. While she was texting, her body language showed that she wanted to hide it from me. . I don’t understand. I know I shouldn’t care anymore.
I fell in love with guys in relationships many times, but my feelings had nothing to do with their relationship status. I was attracted, pursued and then realized they had a girlfriend - it's not something I talk about when I meet people - so by the time I find out, I'm too hooked!
I fucked up. I text her after a few beers the other night telling her how much I missed her. She's in a rebound and it's been nearly 3 months. At least she knows how I feel, but maybe that's that.
It's been over two years since my breakup, l still love her and miss her incredibly. There is no communication between us as she knows we will never be "just friends", but she is still in fairly regular contact with my mom. We both can't understand why, they didn't even get along that well when we were together.
Gregor Brown wow exact same thing with my ex. She says nada to me but skypes my mom since the day we broke up regularly. She met my mom only in ONE visit where she stayed w my mom a few days. Crap i thought that was a good sign, but if your ex has been doing that for 2 years and still not contacting you???
@@BlackLabelSlushie yes it really strange behaviour. I don't know why. Does she feel guilty, want to keep tabs on me, or is she just trying to be nice? As far as l know she never did this with her previous ex boyfriends parents.
Have you thought of braking no contact? I mean why not at this point? I would think that after 6 months to a year there is nothing to lose unless she cheated or was very disrespectful in how she broke off. For me it's 'only' been 10 weeks and it's been incredibly painful. It's weird to think it's been only 10 weeks. It's like remember just 4 months ago feels in my head like a distant memory. It's weird. After she dumped me (long distance) I went no contact right away (it was a very amicable breakup in the sense no begging screaming etc). Then I VERY stupidly broke it once 3 weeks in, then have been silent since then. To my surprise she emailed me 5 weeks post-breakup with an ultra bland email "how are you? Weather is good" type of thing. I responded with an equally ultra bland and I think a bit sarcastically bland weather report. Heard nothing since. But she emails my mom eve saying affectionate things to my mom lol. But not a word about me.
Vidéo topic : what to do with with the love and desire that you have for the dumper (healthy and respectful break ups only) when you know you have to move on ?
I want to be less angry- part of the reason my ex broke up with me is because he hates conflict and I tend to be argumentative. I want to give myself respect- I felt like my ex wasn’t ever considering my feelings enough and I want to be able to stand up for myself when he doesn’t.
It’s been 4 weeks of no contact, it was brutal..but today I’ve been finding myself kind of put off by my ex, like how he could just leave me like that (he’s dismissive avoidant, I’m fearful avoidant and became needy)..like I bloody love myself now and feel turned off by the fact he doesn’t seem to love me as much as I love myself..can’t believe my mindset is slowly shifting like this, considering how crazily addicted and heartbroken I was on the first few weeks of no contact..im hopeful for more change in mindset! And even though right now I still wish he would come back some time in the future, I hope I will have forgotten my feelings for him, to start anew and let him be the one to obsess over and chase me instead~
What can I do if we can’t get social proof. My ex and the father of my child is a recovering alcoholic. We couldn’t do typical couple things like go out and because of that it was extremely more difficult to bond and we had to put more effort into doing it other ways which eventually I was the only one doing which ultimately contributed to our recent demise. Would you be willing to do videos on getting an ex back when you have kids? Thanks for all you do Rory I appreciate it more then you’ll ever know!
Hi the love chat. Thank you for your amazing work. Can you make a video about why the person who breaks up with you is super emotional? Blaming and cursing themselves, telling that she hates herself, etc? I could not find anything about that subject and I am really interested what is the reason behind those emotions. Best wishes :)
Already list 25 lbs. Moved in with my kids. Now working on getting my house on the market. Hopin to out alot of money in the bank so i can seriously house shop like we were doing the week she dumped me. It's been 3 months.
what do i do if they say they’ve lost feelings or like something is missing (currently in NC) he seems to have moved on after three weeks he’s going out with all these new people
I told me ex the other day that I’ve changed so much in my life in positive ways because of him. He looked really shocked and probably thinks I’m mad but never mind 😂
After listening to this, I begged. No wonder she said she didn’t love me anymore. After 4 years and many mistakes on my part. It’s time I take control of myself. Dominance.
2 months out of a 2 month rebound relationship (I was the rebound) 1) Spend more Time with my Friends. 2) get in shape (bulk) for summer 3)Meditate at least 2x (20 mins)/day 4)All A's and B's in my classes this semester 5) Make good money at a new job. 6) Get out into Nature every week I don't even care if she comes back, I just want these so i can be happy for myself finally!
I will get my drivers license, be more outgoing and I will play the piano more consistently. Honestly my list has like 15 items on it, I don't think I'll even have time for a boyfriend anymore 😅
Everyone's situation is a little different obviously but we all might share this issue. I am a cpl weeks into a no contact thing. Keeping avenues open between us is important naturally. Text, talk, messanger, facebook. I noticed she unfollowed me but is still friends via facebook. I last week unfollowed her also. Problem is we share about 19 friends. Some, my family to her and her family with me. Is this a form of CONTACT? If I'm playing Ghost with her, what should I do about the family of hers. For example her oldest son,Her cousin and her sister? Topics never being about her and I but what do you suggest?
My ex actually jumped into a rebound with an orbiter that has been hanging around. See the thing is that me and my ex one day tried to rank all the people in the friend group by how attractive we find them. She placed the guy she branched to as least attractive. Other than that the dude is a complete clown. She's gonna have one hell of a realisation when puppy love wears off. I quite pity her 😂 I think she's gonna lose a lot of friends over this stunt (don't mean breaking up with me, the cheating part)
Please consider preparing videos that referenced couples that are married but separated (not legally). In my case we are 22 years into marriage with 3 kids. My wife informed of her desire to get divorced and has moved in with my in-laws in her country of origin. I have been successful in stalling divorce proceedings based on my discussion with my wife. I liken this experience to an alarm clock going off and one year into her moving out I am in the best shape of life, we are better off financially but I have a long way to go based on my goals, I am doing a great job managing all household responsibilities on my own and taking care of our kids. I am a business professional and have traveled to Asia and Europe which is when my wife willing returns home to take care of our kids.My wife has seen the positive changes that are taking place. How do I get her level of enthusiasm to increase to the point she decides to stay home? I believe she is going through a bit of a mid life crisis as she was a stay home mom and is currently working in my in-laws family business. I also feel she has been pressured by my sister in-law to work in the family business as well as to spend time with my mother in-law, who I believe feels lonely when my wife is not present.
Might as well give people some hope, met up with my ex the other day just as friends as I don’t really care if she came back or not, we broke up 5 months ago, iv improved massively physically and financially, I would post my Instagram so you could see what I look like but I like my privacy. towards the end of the night we went back to mine sober and we kissed and groped each other a bit haha, then I said you gotta go now as I’m going round some bird house. She wasn’t happy but I just don’t give a fuck anymore 😂😂
Never break no contact!! I broke it last night after 3 months and she was like you are still not over me. That gave me all my answer's but this time i didn't feel the pain i felt when she broke up after 7 long years!!
Is that what she said? "You are still not over me?" Damn. I think 3 months was a bit early to break NC. But I DO think there is a time to break NC. I mean you said it yourself: "this time I didn't feel the (same) pain" and now I think you will be closer to moving on faster. I do think there comes a point where, if you still want your ex, continuing no contact forever is pointless and counter-productive to you. At some point, endless NC becomes YOUR comfort zone. "I can't fuck up if I don't contact her." And I think at some stage, endless NC also becomes a way of clinging to hope. It keeps your hope frozen in time. Now, if they cheated on you or severely disrespected/humiliated you in the way they broke up, that is different and I would stay NC forever. Also, if you were extremely needy during the relationship or during the breakup, doing days or weeks of begging, pleading etc, then I'd continue NC.
Jose Montes i would give it time and stay no contact: by the way I have a major happy update since i wrote the above comments: my ex suddenly and finally contacted me (3 months NC). that very quickly we t from one neutral-ish email from her to within 4 weeks pretty heavy flirting and sexual advances from her. I am currently 6000 miles away so lets see what develops. But in a nutshell, i am very, VERY glad that I found 'the love chat' and used the recommendations he gives. Ie NC, work on yiurself, don't be needy & give it time
Was it a mistake to tell my ex that she shouldn't contact me unless she wants to get back together? I'd like people to weigh in (if Rory did, that'd be even better). I'm a month into NC with her. Made it very clear I love her and would like to stay together, but I'm giving her space and respecting her decision. I have no plans of breaking it, but I'm afraid that she'll never message me and thus I'll never have a chance to re-attract her.
I mean, I don't know how exactly you worded things, but I don't think it was a mistake. It's the truth, right? You don't want to "just" be her friend, at least not at this point in time. You still love her and feel for her in a romantic way. So you did the right thing by being honest. You wouldn't want her to reach out to "just be friends", right? I totally understand your worries, though, I have similar thoughts going through my mind. But I think you did the best thing. I know it's hard, but I think this process is all about arriving at a point where you know you'll be okay no matter what happens.
Hi ! Roxy ! Dated for 2 yrs. I'm 56 he is 61 with 5 kids. All was going good. We did fall in love. I was seeing him 1x/wk and I wanted to meet his kids so I can have a full blown relationship with him. When I asked can't wait for that day to meet your kids he said I can't give you more ? You need someone who can give you more ? He broke it off ? If he loves me, why is he not working it out with me? What is the real reason he pulled away. Please help me. I'm hurting so much. I feel like I have a sliver in my heart 😢 please help
The Love Chat Good, when I gave her a wink I’m worried that I messed up because a looked away quickly after the wink, I think that’s because of my anxiety. Do you think I messed up?
Please help me understand, I don't find re attracting an ex is worth it, it feels like I'm getting validation from someone who didn't want to work on things but rather bale on me
Are all of these videos also true when it's not your ex per say? It was a difficult situation and we were very intimate for about 2 months, then i got needy she pulled away i chased it ended. Couldn't go full no contact because we were working together, i did tell her however 3 times that i didn't wanna be friends and she cried all the time. She was always the one to initiate contact en touch me. I told her again i didn't wanna be friends and we havent been in contact since. Technically she is not my ex, so does all of this work for me as well?
A few things I wanna work on-
1. My Body
2. My communication skills
3. Controlling my anxiety
4. Reading more books
5. Creating a positive self image
Mayank Tiwari nice ! Those 5 things sound amazing. Best of luck!
@@JuanPerez-fq6wx Thanks man
Amen to that.
Me too...
How are you guys doing?
No contact can be therapeutic only when your doing it to fix yourself and not attract your ex! Remember that ...I lost my sanity(still do) thinking ohhh if I do no contact I will attract them again ... and the truth is you don’t need toxic people in your life , you don’t need people who have dumped you , find someone who appreciates you
i fucked up and broke no contact and it hurt like hell. However, with a girl with abandonment issues, i had to do limited contact instead. NC now though, since I got what i needed to say out.
Things I can work on...
1. Work on my body, hit the gym more.
2. A more positive vibe
3. Be strong mentally and try not to think of the ex as often. Work on me 😁
worked on myself
- new built body
- new friends
- new job at pharmacy
- graduating soon
- got a scholarship
- learned a lot of guitar
- meditation
- reading
- limited access to cell phone
- no contact
yet still no sign of my ex
Give it more time, it took me 5 years to have her back, honestly it took me 5 years and it passed as 5 days.
@@DanteGaKill I have never heard of a period like that. How did you got back in contact? This sounds amazing!!
@@chilla939 Just created another vk account and texted her back she missed me but tbh she slept with so many dudes during this period and she was single again but cuz of this I refused to be with her again so we decided to stay as friends, some guys might don't mind if their girl slept with dudes during their break up period, but I understand that no contact can work even for such long periods of time.
AGoodQudsi It’s not bad to post some of your guitar stuff on social media
AGoodQudsi
If you have new friends, new job and new hobby, you can easily find a new person to date.
I am stuck because all people at my job are women, and all of my friends are women, so I can’t find a guy anywhere except public places, which rarely works.
1. Starting my career/changing jobs 2. Driver's License 3. Emotional Wellbeing 4. Exercise 5. Saying YES to life
Olivia rodrigo is that u?
To be honest, I don't want him to comeback.I just want him to apologize for what he did to me.that's it
You Just need to apologize ...to yourself
Alice Mwamikazi same here ... 😏😫
If he apologizes you'll again start growing feelings towards him and that's not a good thing trust me... Best thing is just FORGET and believe that there are WAY better person in your life to look forward to
because tanishq do they never get karma for what they have done to us ? Or they never feel our love back? And I feel my ex behaviour is like a covert narcissist. 😭😢
@@priyaakshita334 of course they would but for that you have to develop your self... Trust me I've been on this situation and I felt like world was over... My ex was a textbook example of the word narcissist (so much so that I didn't understood the meaning of this word until I faced her and her BS) that much of a narcissist she was... But hey I just did the wise move and walked away and completely ignored her and started working on myself and looked out for new people, and experiences... There's a movie The Swingers... It really gave out a message: When you truly work on yourself and move on for good, the magic happens and that is probably you get a call from ya ex.. anyhu just believe in yourself and just COMPLETELY ignore and look out for people or someone who'll treat you like the way you wish for.. trust me everything gets better with time... Personal experience
I honestly don’t want my ex back. I just want to stop caring and not attracted to them anymore, because my ex was a really beautiful girl, so it’s hard.
He has to re-attract me, I will not move a finger for him anymore!!
Exactly
Break up 10months
I'm waiting for my ex 10months
I decided to work on myself to improve
1)slim 5kg more
2)start a bakery class learning something new
3)traveling myself
4)read more book
5)im just bought an apartment start busy renovation
Is their lost which left us
Now start dating someone new
Wow. Mine broke up with me two months ago but I’m not willing to wait 10 months 😩. I’m sorry. You deserve better. Good luck!
How did everything go? Ex back?
Good job. My ex has been gone about the same amount of time. Have seen her with someone else. Im pushing forward. Lost weight, gained muscle and doing my best to bring myself back from the dead. Good for you! you have my support and best wishes. Rick :)
1. Starting my career
2. Finally getting abs (aka lots and lots of exercise)! :D
3. Being more social with my friends and family
4. Forgiving myself and my ex
5. Understanding my part in the breakup and working towards making sure those particular mistakes never happen again for the sake of my future relationships (whoever they may be with)
Can I just sign up for a coaching just to listen to your voice? You could read children’s books for all I care.
;)
Ex just reached out! 3 weeks after breakup plus 5 weeks of no contact. Not sure what’s going to happen, but I’m using the skills I’ve learnt over the last 5 weeks of detaching, self soothing and self esteem work. I was anxiously attached and became needy.
The old relationship is over. This is potentially the start of something new.
I know so much more about myself and my attachment style. I don’t need my ex. I don’t need anyone. But I do want a relationship.
I’ve just sent a reply, now I’m going for my morning go run and I’ll meditate after.
Thank you love chat!
update? and if you don’t mind, what was the reason for breaking up?
1. loss weight and build muscles
2. new job
3. new friends hang out with
4. keep on learning new cube puzzles, i have 22 cube puzzles : )
5. stop porn and be man im calling to be
1. Be more outgoing
2. Reignite my independent filmmaking career
3. Work on my relationship with Myself and God.
4. Take more risks.
5. Pick up drawing and guitar.
I am following your path..
1-No contact.
2-Upgrade your better version.
Rory, you are awesome!
1. Exercise more.
2. Read more.
3. Learn to communicate and control my emotions better.
4. Travel more.
5. Just be an overall loving and caring person.
1. my body even better
2. start flirting with other women and beat social anxiety
3. start going out alone and make new friends
4. get a job in a gym
5. start a youtube channel
1. Get fit
2. Have veneers
3. Therapy
4. Start a business up
5. Play guitar
Gyms open Monday
Booked at dentist for June
Been doing therapy for 2 months
Had a few guitar lessons
Start new company Tuesday on the 4th
And off down ex’s tonight for some fun 😂
It's good that you mentioned it might be hard cuz we may be really depressed..cuz I've been really sad these days and staying motivated can get so hard at times.
membering: Agreed. It's a never ending challenge to stay motivated and move in a positive, healthy direction. Not gonna lie ... some days I fail horribly at it. I'm getting slightly better at not beating myself up on those days. And on the days when I do great or even just ok? Well, I feel those are wins I deserve. Best wishes for you.
I need to buy a guitar
I have to loose some pounds
I started reading more books
spending more time with family
Being more social in the gym
Damn i used to be all alone when i was dating my ex i forgot who i was..
Had a Skype Session with Rory , very informative and helped me a lot as I was questioning myself and struggling with the breakup and NC.
Highly recommended Guys
1) no contact
2) Sticking up for yourself, boundaries
3)physical stature, gym and/or self care= looks matter.... be careful who you attract.
4)social attraction, appear more attractive being seen with the opposite sex/threat partner..
5) interact positively in a crowed...noticed by ex
6) list 5 to 10 things to change for yourself....
7) trust the process
-gym, already lost 6lbs
-clearing out old energy and old things from my house
-new career goals
-healthier diet
-meditation
-more rest
-improve my painting
1. The way I talk and think about myself
2. The way I love my partner
3. My ideas and dreams
1. Worked on myself.. Successfully dated 3 girls since the ex with my newfound knowledge of the "dating game"
2. Got myself my own apartment (a huge step in the right direction for me)
3. Got a raise at work, and have been taking lots of OT work.
4. Musically, I have some of the most exciting projects that I'm ever going to be involved with going into 2019..
Clearly I've been growing, so I wonder if she's noticing.......
Its not about her noticing, its about you noticing it yourself
@@kenkham6145 I know man.. I'm doing it for myself 100%.. I'm just wondering if she's noticing..
@07 very cool DUDE.. I know how you feel... its easy to say who the fuck cares what she thinks... Hard to get our minds to that point... But that is the ideal point... You know how they say once you let go,,, women seem to know... Well it worked that way in my situation. As an aside.. I rejoined a Acoustic Guitar group lesson... So I'm growing musically also
@@matrixband12 I like that saying haha.. It's true though.. The girl before my ex was begging me to come over and have sex with her, but by that point I lost all interest.. I almost got there this summer with my ex.. July was a really fun month for me, and I definitely went a few days without thinking of her.. Gotta get to that point again! And that's cool man.. Playing a musical instrument is a GREAT distraction.
It's amazing what we get up to when we're given our freedom isn't it? Keep up the good work dudes! \m/
Just got dumped after 8 years, this is the only channel getting me through. Your voice is so soothing, ur ex is missing out. Also you sound like Seaman from Sega Dreamcast
Update
I really like the fact that you mention how important attraction. Because whether or not people like it, it's the truth. The last time I saw my ex I literally looked like I was dying (thanks depression) and I could tell he wasn't attracted to me like he had been. The one thing I really want to change is my employment status.
Yep. My ex who is very gentle and diplomatic usually, saw me for the first time after 5 months (I was abroad). I had gained 50 pounds in our relationship (lots of drinking and partying). Plus I started smoking again while together (she is a health fanatic). During the breakup, she specifically said I looked like 'death' lol,
After 16 years together my wife left. Once i started to really work in me with fitness, new hobbies like playing guitar. I also started reading many books being really solitair after breakup i starte to go out and still working to build new social surroundings,i can honestly say It is her loss. I don't want her back my life is better and i am more me then ever. Stil, setting new goals and lots to do without having to be accountable.
Raimond Boom damn man that would’ve been so heartbreaking I hope your doing well
Mutually broke up 11 months on Valentines Day ;( . She is now seeing someone else.
1.Work on myself...that’s lots of fun!
2.Improving big time in the gym
3.practice not letting my insecurities get in my way
4.know who is mor important her or me
5.practice self love
6. Enjoy the moments with myself
7. Try something new everyday
8. Laugh more especially at my stupid thoughts, yes!!
10. Looks for answers within
11. Use my breakup for leverage to motivate myself for awesome changes....like yoga.
One more thing...I realized my breakup is now about her anymore, it’s about me....knowing that makes it so much easier to let her go and know I’m on my way to bigger and better things.
Great video: Ex gone FOR A WHILE NOW.
My all-time favorite dog has bone cancer and I have to put him down tomorrow. I am dealing with it and doing my DAMDEST not to let it push me back down in to the emotional black pit of hell. He would not want me to be sad. he would want me to do the following:
1. Lose 40lbs. I have lost 20 so far. :) Stopped the booze and crap food. Feel so much better. Imagine that!!! lolol
2. Go out and do anything. I tend to be a hermit in the house.
3. Ride my bike. About to snow in Minnesota so this will be tough. MMM? Got it. Walk the gym track :)
4. Maybe go on a date. OR JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. EVEN IF IT IS BY MYSELF. It's A START.
5.keep myself distracted so as to keep depression under control
@Arizona Yales Thank you so much.
Things I’ve accomplished since the breakup:
1. I actually have friends now. I’m learning that I am actually likeable and capable of making and keeping friends when I’m more authentic and don’t just focus on my ex!
2. Painting
3. Biking
4. Hiking
5. Made travel plans with friends
6. Relearning to drive (I’m 29 years old but always been scared by a past accident)
7. Hoping to go to nursing school next year
8. Learning to play an instrument
9. Learning a new language
10. Reading more books
11. I’m emotionally healthier and less anxious and less depressed due to everything mentioned above!
12. Joined a creative contest at work and won hehe
Now I just need to work on my fitness. I’m having so much fun dating myself that I’m not even sure if I want him back. Maybe I do, but I hope he doesn’t reach out for four more months at least hahaha.
Was having the worst day. Major boost of confidence right here
+2348053179252
He can help you with ur ex
1. start running again
2. expand my social circle
3. get over the fear of being single
4. graduate from university
5. improve my relationship with my family
I love your channel. You’re so motivating and your voice is so soothing 😍 you’re awesome Rory ♥️
"How many times have you fell in love with someone who is already in a relationship?"
Me, a person with integrity: not even a single time ._.
1. Workout
2 New company/work
3. Solo travel
4. Learn Japanese and korean in the next 2 years...
5. Guitar
Another great video. Understanding the logic of what is happening in my break up, is so useful. Rory, you have agreat clean and clear way of explaining. Thank you
Love your work! Would love to see some content about friendship, toxic friendships versus great friendships, and also topics about how to handle those tough conversations and the psychology behind it.
My 3 things I'm currently doing, My fitness everyday, Do something I've never done once a week, be kinder to strangers, great advice thank you :-)
What I've learned about women is that some don't become interested in you until they see you with someone else. Let that sink in.
Just like I said - we want what we can't have. However I must put emphasis on the word "some". Men also do this.
@@TheLoveChat Absolutely. keep the good advice coming. i love the channel.
Yea that's so true
I Am Chedda - it is called ‘the forbidding fruit syndrome’
@@bosschedda_ ok
Its not easy at first, but when you can finally improve yourself it is absolutely worth it. Step out of your comfort zone. Push yourself and become self sufficient. You will feel stronger than you've ever felt before
LoveChat, can you talk about some of these ideas: how to move on while still having hope for reconciliation, How to deal with the thoughts about your ex finding a rebound, If they are constantly thinking of their first love as they’re dating, not giving up hope when everything seems possible, how she changes the way she feels at the beginning of the end of relationship compared to being away for a while, if her parents don’t believe in divorce and still love and message you could they somewhat influence her decision later down the road, how to come back and show you’re no longer a verbal abuser. Just a few things like that.
I am going to:
1) Grow my photography business and become more secure financially
2) Work through my childhood trauma with a psychologist and become more securely attached (vs. anxious now)
3) Join classes (e.g. salsa dancing) and other social hobbies where I can meet new people
4) Keep working on my physique (power & endurance)
5) Start meditating daily to help with my emotional balance
Rory, if you could, even though this is a small percentage of time, do a video on about when a ex either lives directly across the street on how to handle that no contact, or when the ex mother is trying to remain friends after a breakup
Interesting. I'll look into this!
Please do, because i'm currently dealing with BOTH of these issues
Sounds kinda like my situation
Simple: don't shit where you eat!
Items from my list
1- Communication skills
2- Mental stability
3- The ability to act without thinking on what others might say
4- Read more
5 - Start a vlog
This is the most perspective video I’ve watched here it does work . I’ve gone threw no contact I’ve gone from a super negative person to the optimistic and positive person I know, and weather it get me my ex back or not I’m happy with myself. Even if I can’t it made me a better person and I agree with everything said in this video
"people want what they can't have." that's all good when you're in no contact and stuff, but when you do get back together do they still can want you? Given that same concept(grass is always greener syndrome). And how do you still apply that same concept when you get back together?
I lost 15 pounds, I bought my first car, learned how to drive, got my license, then got my GED, so then I applied to college and got accepted. I want to be a firefighter so I want to study fire science, soon I want to volunteer to be a firefighter for a few days before I start school again. Also I want to rearrange my room because it's small and a good change will help a lot. And something crazy fun i want to do by September is go skydiving I'm excited about all of it. The breakup happened on February 28th but I kept working hard, I saw no light at the end of the tunnel but once summer started it was like God released me and I just went boom💥!
Great achievement brother!!!!
My goals after she dumped me!
1. Read more books
2. Call up friends to check in on them rather than just going to them when I’m feeling down
3. Get abs by December 2020 (6months!)
4. Expand my diecast hobby page/side hustle (@dailydiecastsg)
5. Get a new job, I don’t like where I’m at but covid-19 situation makes it hard to get another job
Could you please go over something about the ex's life going downhill after the breakup? For instance I saw a picture of my ex on my friend's post and he gained weight. Someone also told my friends he's having a hard time and it's been several months since the split. He is the dumper. I'm not digging for these emotional triggers. I'm not talking or asking about him. I'd like to continue to move forward and look past little mental hurdles. Tips are appreciated!
Thanks Rory: Went NC 245 days. she reached out sever times... Physical Changes: Lost about 20 LBS... training for a marathon... 18 miles last Sunday for my training run. I grew a beard and started putting Gel into it to be more stylish. Some of my female coworkers have helped with new wardrobe. I saw ex 2 weekend ago.. we hung out. Then she says she just wants to be friends. Rory how about that as topic? I said NO to friends... she knows I want more.. She got mad I said NO to friends. SO Im on day 2 of NC...
I would continue no contact and start moving on with life like dating others
you said she got mad because you refused to be just friends..that is good.. keep going stay on NC and maby at the end you will find yourself doesn't whant her back
Walk away and don't look back . Don't waste your time with her you may miss out on an opportunity!
Hey bro! Weren't you saying that you thought she'd never reach out in other vids? This is encouraging to me because I'm a little over 210 days of NC, so maybe there still is some hope that I'll get a text some day. The physical changes are commendable. You should really do that for yourself though, not her. That's why I haven't really done much in that department. I'm already fit, and have no desire to look like a juicehead lol. Anyway, yeah.. Stick to your guns and stay no contact. She's still trying to see if she has power over you, and testing to see if you've become mentally stronger over the course of all these months. Strict NC from this point on.
@KK yep... I have a date with someone new this up coming weekend
In no specefic order:
1. Dont care about the outcome its about having fun
2. Work out
3. Find one or more new hobby's / pasions
4. Go outside every day
5. Try something new
6. Practice DJ-ing
7. Get a drivers licence
8. Daily meditation (this one is tough for me)
9. Love myself (stop needing other people to feel whole/good/not alone)
I have always stood up for myself, been tough, a 'challenge' etc but after a while women DO get fed up. Not sure what happened in my first relationship (she cheated for 6 months) but in my other two relationships being 'tough' and standing up for yourself only lasts so long before you need to be nice. I guess a balance is the way forward. Just don't be a pushover and don't always be available at any stage of a relationship. Keep some mystery alive but BE NICE.
1 get 6 packs 2 build my financial up 3 get the new job 4 paid off my student loan 5 move on with my life
1. 1.Exam in Medicine
2. Run 10km
3. Being more positive
4. Travel
5. Be there for my family
Well after she said she doesn't wanna see me anymore i mopped alone for a couple of weeks and then i quit my shitty job... I wanted something higher risk/reward so i just applied and started it 😉 i wanna overcome my fears one by one now!
1. New job
2. gym
3. get a car
4. be more socially active!
5. be more aware of others emotions and signals
1. Get fit to climb a mountain (started going to the gym)! I loved doing this in the past and I’m gonna do it again!
2. Learn some Spanish! I love language and it’s useful!
3. Already moved into my own place in an area I love!
4. Make new queer connections and nourish my current relationships so I have a solid sense of community, see who else is out there, and build my confidence
5. Already accepted a much improved job from my current one! Work life balance baby!
I’m doing great. I’m lucky to have me ❤
SHOULD I even get an ex back?? How she gonna throw someone away like that who has been nothing but true with her and 100% behind her.
I was fit, I was working on my goals and projects, things are slowly coming together. We were long-distance, I think that is the main reason cause shit went down the drain when lockdown started.
Maybe she just thinks the grass is greener somewhere else? I'm starting to be able to come up with less and less reasons on why I should want her back. She probably has moved on already anyway, it's been 3 months.
+2348053179252
He can help you with your ex
I recently broke up with my ex and we have to live together until she move out in 2 weeks. It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up. After a couple of days into the break up she went to her parent’s house with her 5yr old son. I wish I watched your channel much earlier. I texted her to understand what had happened because I felt like there was a miscommunication. After she explained the situation from her perspective, I came to accept the decision. Just a couple of days ago, she came back home because she needed to bring her son back to his dad’s house. I can’t do no contact until after she’s gone because now we are stuck in quarantine. She invited her sister to stay with us while she’s here. What should I do? We have had very normal interaction because I told her to not act weird during the time that we are stuck together especially with her sister around. I have asked her before to not bring her sister but apparently this time there was a reason to (Even though there is always other solution). During the time that she’s here, I took down our photos together, stopped location sharing and have been talking to friends more often. She was acting weird yesterday. While she was texting, her body language showed that she wanted to hide it from me. . I don’t understand. I know I shouldn’t care anymore.
Same as me been through this all :(
Very sad...
I fell in love with guys in relationships many times, but my feelings had nothing to do with their relationship status. I was attracted, pursued and then realized they had a girlfriend - it's not something I talk about when I meet people - so by the time I find out, I'm too hooked!
I fucked up. I text her after a few beers the other night telling her how much I missed her. She's in a rebound and it's been nearly 3 months. At least she knows how I feel, but maybe that's that.
You have a great voice! Thank you for your guidance ❤️
+2348053179252
He can help you with ur ex
It's been over two years since my breakup, l still love her and miss her incredibly. There is no communication between us as she knows we will never be "just friends", but she is still in fairly regular contact with my mom. We both can't understand why, they didn't even get along that well when we were together.
Gregor Brown wow exact same thing with my ex. She says nada to me but skypes my mom since the day we broke up regularly. She met my mom only in ONE visit where she stayed w my mom a few days. Crap i thought that was a good sign, but if your ex has been doing that for 2 years and still not contacting you???
@@BlackLabelSlushie yes it really strange behaviour. I don't know why. Does she feel guilty, want to keep tabs on me, or is she just trying to be nice? As far as l know she never did this with her previous ex boyfriends parents.
Have you thought of braking no contact? I mean why not at this point? I would think that after 6 months to a year there is nothing to lose unless she cheated or was very disrespectful in how she broke off. For me it's 'only' been 10 weeks and it's been incredibly painful. It's weird to think it's been only 10 weeks. It's like remember just 4 months ago feels in my head like a distant memory. It's weird. After she dumped me (long distance) I went no contact right away (it was a very amicable breakup in the sense no begging screaming etc). Then I VERY stupidly broke it once 3 weeks in, then have been silent since then. To my surprise she emailed me 5 weeks post-breakup with an ultra bland email "how are you? Weather is good" type of thing. I responded with an equally ultra bland and I think a bit sarcastically bland weather report. Heard nothing since. But she emails my mom eve saying affectionate things to my mom lol. But not a word about me.
I am under weight and i am going to gain healthy weight, and definitely going to read those self improvement books. Happy healing to all. 😇😇
Vidéo topic : what to do with with the love and desire that you have for the dumper (healthy and respectful break ups only) when you know you have to move on ?
I want to be less angry- part of the reason my ex broke up with me is because he hates conflict and I tend to be argumentative.
I want to give myself respect- I felt like my ex wasn’t ever considering my feelings enough and I want to be able to stand up for myself when he doesn’t.
It’s been 4 weeks of no contact, it was brutal..but today I’ve been finding myself kind of put off by my ex, like how he could just leave me like that (he’s dismissive avoidant, I’m fearful avoidant and became needy)..like I bloody love myself now and feel turned off by the fact he doesn’t seem to love me as much as I love myself..can’t believe my mindset is slowly shifting like this, considering how crazily addicted and heartbroken I was on the first few weeks of no contact..im hopeful for more change in mindset!
And even though right now I still wish he would come back some time in the future, I hope I will have forgotten my feelings for him, to start anew and let him be the one to obsess over and chase me instead~
+2348053179252
He will help you with ur ex
What can I do if we can’t get social proof. My ex and the father of my child is a recovering alcoholic. We couldn’t do typical couple things like go out and because of that it was extremely more difficult to bond and we had to put more effort into doing it other ways which eventually I was the only one doing which ultimately contributed to our recent demise. Would you be willing to do videos on getting an ex back when you have kids? Thanks for all you do Rory I appreciate it more then you’ll ever know!
+2348053179252
He can help you with any problem
U have great advice. Thank you so much! 🙏😘
And while we're doing all of these overhauls with ourselves, what is my ex working on changing?
I was depressed a few weeks ago and now I’m not. Shits weird
+2348053179252
He can help you
Hi the love chat. Thank you for your amazing work. Can you make a video about why the person who breaks up with you is super emotional? Blaming and cursing themselves, telling that she hates herself, etc? I could not find anything about that subject and I am really interested what is the reason behind those emotions. Best wishes :)
Already list 25 lbs. Moved in with my kids. Now working on getting my house on the market. Hopin to out alot of money in the bank so i can seriously house shop like we were doing the week she dumped me. It's been 3 months.
Only one
1= forget permanently her 🤣
what do i do if they say they’ve lost feelings or like something is missing (currently in NC) he seems to have moved on after three weeks he’s going out with all these new people
Do you have an update om going through this please help
My ex reached out acall yesterday after 5months but said nothing what should I do now
Well we weren't even dating but people. Still considered us dating and bf and gf
I told me ex the other day that I’ve changed so much in my life in positive ways because of him. He looked really shocked and probably thinks I’m mad but never mind 😂
Spot on, Rory. Forbidden fruit always seems more tempting. 🍎
After listening to this, I begged. No wonder she said she didn’t love me anymore. After 4 years and many mistakes on my part. It’s time I take control of myself. Dominance.
How about doing a vid on going into no contact beyond 5 months of being in contact....is it still effective? Is it too late?
+2348053179252
He will help you with ur ex
2 months out of a 2 month rebound relationship (I was the rebound)
1) Spend more Time with my Friends.
2) get in shape (bulk) for summer
3)Meditate at least 2x (20 mins)/day
4)All A's and B's in my classes this semester
5) Make good money at a new job.
6) Get out into Nature every week
I don't even care if she comes back, I just want these so i can be happy for myself finally!
No contact....& Joined the gym too..💛
1.Got a new Job
2.Cleaned up my flat
3.Reading and listening about relationship skills
4. Exercising more and eating kesä
5.Meeting friends
I will get my drivers license, be more outgoing and I will play the piano more consistently.
Honestly my list has like 15 items on it, I don't think I'll even have time for a boyfriend anymore 😅
Everyone's situation is a little different obviously but we all might share this issue. I am a cpl weeks into a no contact thing. Keeping avenues open between us is important naturally. Text, talk, messanger, facebook. I noticed she unfollowed me but is still friends via facebook. I last week unfollowed her also. Problem is we share about 19 friends. Some, my family to her and her family with me. Is this a form of CONTACT? If I'm playing Ghost with her, what should I do about the family of hers. For example her oldest son,Her cousin and her sister? Topics never being about her and I but what do you suggest?
My ex actually jumped into a rebound with an orbiter that has been hanging around. See the thing is that me and my ex one day tried to rank all the people in the friend group by how attractive we find them. She placed the guy she branched to as least attractive. Other than that the dude is a complete clown. She's gonna have one hell of a realisation when puppy love wears off. I quite pity her 😂 I think she's gonna lose a lot of friends over this stunt (don't mean breaking up with me, the cheating part)
Please consider preparing videos that referenced couples that are married but separated (not legally). In my case we are 22 years into marriage with 3 kids. My wife informed of her desire to get divorced and has moved in with my in-laws in her country of origin. I have been successful in stalling divorce proceedings based on my discussion with my wife. I liken this experience to an alarm clock going off and one year into her moving out I am in the best shape of life, we are better off financially but I have a long way to go based on my goals, I am doing a great job managing all household responsibilities on my own and taking care of our kids. I am a business professional and have traveled to Asia and Europe which is when my wife willing returns home to take care of our kids.My wife has seen the positive changes that are taking place. How do I get her level of enthusiasm to increase to the point she decides to stay home? I believe she is going through a bit of a mid life crisis as she was a stay home mom and is currently working in my in-laws family business. I also feel she has been pressured by my sister in-law to work in the family business as well as to spend time with my mother in-law, who I believe feels lonely when my wife is not present.
Might as well give people some hope, met up with my ex the other day just as friends as I don’t really care if she came back or not, we broke up 5 months ago, iv improved massively physically and financially, I would post my Instagram so you could see what I look like but I like my privacy. towards the end of the night we went back to mine sober and we kissed and groped each other a bit haha, then I said you gotta go now as I’m going round some bird house. She wasn’t happy but I just don’t give a fuck anymore 😂😂
My man!!! 🙌🙌🙌
Good for you bro. 😂
Can you do a video on being dumped because she’s “emotionally unavailable “
Never break no contact!! I broke it last night after 3 months and she was like you are still not over me. That gave me all my answer's but this time i didn't feel the pain i felt when she broke up after 7 long years!!
Is that what she said? "You are still not over me?" Damn. I think 3 months was a bit early to break NC. But I DO think there is a time to break NC. I mean you said it yourself: "this time I didn't feel the (same) pain" and now I think you will be closer to moving on faster. I do think there comes a point where, if you still want your ex, continuing no contact forever is pointless and counter-productive to you. At some point, endless NC becomes YOUR comfort zone. "I can't fuck up if I don't contact her." And I think at some stage, endless NC also becomes a way of clinging to hope. It keeps your hope frozen in time. Now, if they cheated on you or severely disrespected/humiliated you in the way they broke up, that is different and I would stay NC forever. Also, if you were extremely needy during the relationship or during the breakup, doing days or weeks of begging, pleading etc, then I'd continue NC.
TrueLies what if they contacted me but i was busy and told them to contact me when there free next time and its been 3 weeks since that last text
Jose Montes i would give it time and stay no contact: by the way I have a major happy update since i wrote the above comments: my ex suddenly and finally contacted me (3 months NC). that very quickly we t from one neutral-ish email from her to within 4 weeks pretty heavy flirting and sexual advances from her. I am currently 6000 miles away so lets see what develops. But in a nutshell, i am very, VERY glad that I found 'the love chat' and used the recommendations he gives. Ie NC, work on yiurself, don't be needy & give it time
Was it a mistake to tell my ex that she shouldn't contact me unless she wants to get back together? I'd like people to weigh in (if Rory did, that'd be even better).
I'm a month into NC with her. Made it very clear I love her and would like to stay together, but I'm giving her space and respecting her decision. I have no plans of breaking it, but I'm afraid that she'll never message me and thus I'll never have a chance to re-attract her.
I mean, I don't know how exactly you worded things, but I don't think it was a mistake. It's the truth, right? You don't want to "just" be her friend, at least not at this point in time. You still love her and feel for her in a romantic way. So you did the right thing by being honest.
You wouldn't want her to reach out to "just be friends", right? I totally understand your worries, though, I have similar thoughts going through my mind. But I think you did the best thing.
I know it's hard, but I think this process is all about arriving at a point where you know you'll be okay no matter what happens.
You did great!
1. Make more money
2. Get bigger
3. Be calmer
4. Learn judo
5. Focus on my purpose
What if your not connected on social media or don’t joint friends, how do you social proof
Hi ! Roxy ! Dated for 2 yrs. I'm 56 he is 61 with 5 kids. All was going good. We did fall in love. I was seeing him 1x/wk and I wanted to meet his kids so I can have a full blown relationship with him. When I asked can't wait for that day to meet your kids he said I can't give you more ? You need someone who can give you more ? He broke it off ? If he loves me, why is he not working it out with me? What is the real reason he pulled away. Please help me. I'm hurting so much. I feel like I have a sliver in my heart 😢 please help
Nah!! Shes an ex for a reason!
I gave a casual wink at my ex when we were both working the other day, is that considered as a grand gesture?
Nope, not at all! That's just being friendly!
The Love Chat Good, when I gave her a wink I’m worried that I messed up because a looked away quickly after the wink, I think that’s because of my anxiety. Do you think I messed up?
Please help me understand, I don't find re attracting an ex is worth it, it feels like I'm getting validation from someone who didn't want to work on things but rather bale on me
Nothing to understand - that seems like a healthy mentality to me!
Can this work in reverse where my ex tries to reattact me
I want be physically stronger!
I want to be more successful in school!
I want to be more social!
I want to be okay with being alone!
Are all of these videos also true when it's not your ex per say? It was a difficult situation and we were very intimate for about 2 months, then i got needy she pulled away i chased it ended. Couldn't go full no contact because we were working together, i did tell her however 3 times that i didn't wanna be friends and she cried all the time. She was always the one to initiate contact en touch me. I told her again i didn't wanna be friends and we havent been in contact since. Technically she is not my ex, so does all of this work for me as well?