The no contact is the easy part. My issue is battling thoughts. Thoughts of what my ex is doing. I have to watch these videos and other favorite content creators, fall asleep with the TV on and keep busy. I have to do things to distract and occupy my mind. My break up was 3 weeks ago. At this point I don't want to hear from my ex so if he calls I won't answer or call back. It's ME time and I'm hanging in there 😁
imshrrj it will get easier . Those thoughts about my ex will come mostly at night. I started walking for 1 hr at night before bedtime . I will be so tired and my head was clear. Keep ur head up . If he reaches out don’t let him hurt u again.
My breakup was a week ago today, but it feels like forever. I think if my Ex got in touch now, I'd be afraid of reading or answering his calls, so I guess I'm not quite ready yet. I love him and miss him. The past week has been hard work, and I don't want all that work to go to waste. 🍒
I saw my comment now and see that its a year ago. I would like to say that all his advice worked. My ex came back but i didnt want him back lol. Im so over it..
My goals 1. To buy my own car 2. To going back to fit body 3. To travel the world 4. To be more society with my life 5. To run my own business (open a coffee shop) Thanks Rory, your channel really does help me a lot.. And I'm far better now.. It's been 2.5 months since I broke up with my ex boyfriend.. I'm still miss him but I'm all good now. Love ans support your channel From Cambodia
Love your videos. 1) New job. 2) New image and clean myself up. 3) Healthier and get fit. 4) Be free from debt and financially comfortable. 5) Reconnect with friends and get more.
I think that if you say to someone "Let me know if you start seeing someone so I can let go of any hope" is showing a bit of weakness and wanting. It's giving them a bit of power over you. If I found out that he was seeing someone, I would be calmer. I know it's hard and it hurts like hell, but if you can do this one thing calmly, it would put you in a good light. Concentrate on yourself. Your body, your appearance, your inner beauty and happiness and one day we'll get there. 🍒
Thanks for the great conversation the other day Rory. She reached out and she’s showing signs of wanting to get back. It’s only a matter of time now. In the meantime, I’m just going to continue to work on myself and not worry about her. No contact or limited contact in my case is definitely working.
- get back to favorite hobby, photography - car driving license - Scuba diving certification - Fit body (hiking, swimming) - Rock climbing Broke up 3 weeks ago, my ex reached out 3 times but no sign of getting back yet. During this time, i’ve been doing things I never thought i could, I moved to another city, live alone in my flat, get a real job (i was a freelancer), be able to swim!! (I was so scared of water), and got a motorcycle license (that I never learned how to ride!!) btw, i live in the island so i go for a morning run, swim at the beach and gym regularly. I’m actually so proud of myself, just booked a ticket to Europe going for backpacking there for 3 weeks. I know my ex is amazed by my progression now, but i do this all for me. To get myself back, for the best to myself!!
Goal one : get back into shape Goal two: make one solo trip Goal three: socialize with my friends more Goal four: be financially independent Goal five : learn more for my career this year
Had coaching with Rory last night and it was totally worth it. My BU is super fresh, but I'm atleast accepting feeling so bad. My goals would be 1. Get a driver's license (Been working on it) 2. Learn to play guitar! (I already sing from time to time) 3. Learn to be by myself and love myself more 4. Get even better at certain video games! 5. Take better care of my physical and mental health (already taken some babysteps) Thanks alot for what you do man!
I deactivated my Facebook account She still has my things I’ve gone no contact (1 month and two weeks) I left her alone as she asked. 1. Finish my college degree 2. Find a permanent job 3. Restore my relationship with God 4. Stay away from negativity (family , friendship, enemies) 5. Forgive myself Final-Heal
Goals: 1) Land a decent job 2) Drive (learn; buy my first vehicle) 3) Work on some projects (stories and novels, poems, etc.) 4) Give back to the community 5) Get back into music (playing piano, saxophone... perhaps learn a new instrument) 6) Learn to say "No" in some situations. 7) Keep journaling and exercising 8) Treat myself to good things (clothing, self-care products, etc.) and take charge! 9) Appreciate my personal growth 💎
Your advice on how to keep a girl interested in you during a relationship is helpful. It allows me to reflect on where I went wrong. Explaining to rationale of why it is important to be of high value supplies a deeper understating of the skill
5 goals 1. save deposit money for buying house 2. learn to play piano 3. stay positive even when there's no hope 4. have better emotional self control 5. have a healthy body and mind, stay detached from external influences
I needed to hear this. I wanted to reach out to her but after hearing the consequences of the woman’s mistakes after contacting her ex...I’ve continue to go incognito. It’s hard as hell but it’s what I need to do.
You are right. Believe me. The best part of no contact is you simply cannot do or say anything wrong. And every time you overcome the urge to break it you will feels so glad you didn't and just a little bit stronger too. I made the common mistakes at the beginning of the breakup and was mistreated and rejected. Then thanks to this guy doing these highly motivational quality videos I changed tactics, went no contact and was reached out to on day 8. The chatter went on a few days and I even got a Valentine's heart with no other msg but I made the mistake to tell him I was going out with a friend that night after getting him to admit he wasn't doing anything and his reaction was very negative even jaleous. After that he went pretty cold. I made another mistake, called him to confront his behaviour while bringing up some other issues. He cut the conversation saying he had to go somewhere at that moment we could continue to talk later that afternoon. Later never came. So now I am back into no contact almost a full week and will keep it that way no matter what. Self control is of utmost importance and if we don't have it, then it's best not to talk or to keep it super light for a while, no matter what
It's been almost 3 weeks since she dumped me. I found out last week she has a new boyfriend. Today about half way through the day I listened to one of your videos and I had a complete change of emotions. I know she is gone forever and even if she came back, she is not good for me and it will never be the same. Her moving on so fast made me loose alot of respect for her. I'm feeling better today for the first time since the break up. I hope I continue to feel this way. It's so exhausting thinking about getting her back and the what ifs. Shes not worth the energy
Goal 1 financial stability 2 write poetry when I feel good I can remember that there is light during dark times and when it's tough I can get it put of my head and onto paper 3 be more social with loved ones who are in my life and choose those who choose me 4 start to train MMA with emphasis and efficiency 5 pick up music and learn to make something beautiful
Thank you for the great advise and support for people like us going through difficult times :). I appreciate your effort! This is one of the best vids I watched. And you voice is so calming, I can listen to you all day. Thanks again! God bless you!
1. Develop an App.. maybe a game or something.. 2. Get in shape.. get rid of the fat belly.. lol 3. Be more social.. funny.. easy going.. 4. Have fun.. get rid of depression, that was pre and post breakup 5. Be more with family and friends.. because my god.. this relationship made me forget about them..
My Ex got in touch after two weeks, and we tried again. But then after two days he'd start lecturing and interrogating me almost constantly. Then when I thought he'd finished he'd start again. He'd fetch up stuff from the past saying he'd got this trust issue in his head and it was my fault. I knew he was 'projecting' on to me narcissistically. And all this had come after a week of me cooking and cleaning and satisfying him in bed. I left calmly with my things and when he hoovers me again or can't get anyone else I'll not bother answering him.🍒
I wish I knew about these videos when it happened to me. He asked from me to trust him and he expressed his love to me. I have tried, even though I didn’t love him yet, but I liked spending time with him and learning to love things about him. I went through the biggest disappointment in my life when he decided that he doesn’t have fun anymore. I end up being disappointed in myself and my behavior of reaching out to him trying to understand. We have blocked each other in every social way. Now I’ve learned that I’ve dodged the bullet knowing that he was controlling, selfish and narcissistic. I am slowly healing from the pain of disappointment.
Having emotional self control led me to write my 5 life goals:- may change a little as l grow. 1) Learnt to say NO!!! does not mean l'm inconsiderate but that l am particular about who l associate with, since l come from a good class, also avoid and get rid of toxic people, a change was long overdue. 2) Taking care of No1 means:- being self sufficient, taking care of my monitory situation whilst at the same time being vulnerable enough in relationships. On the personal side take care of:- "myself" "my family" "my loved ones" all by myself, the best that l can, keep up with my personal and my mental health, growth and personal development, yoga and excersise. 3) Work at Life Goals means exactly that and l am working on them. 4) Avoid Manipulators be aware those types of people who will take charge of your life, manipulate you, keep you from growth, become the better version of yourself!, and increase my social situation and making new friends. (I know how much l've grown already) 5) No Contact Rule work only under this if and when embarking on new relationships!. (Its proven its worth. however, you need to be really strong cut off and move on) It seems the best way forwards.
I've got this habit of blocking my ex if I'm not emotionally stable enough for any confrontation with him. It gives me time to clear my head and calm down and think straight. I know it may not be a good idea, but it's the only way I can function. 🍒
1. Go to the gym at least 5 times a week 2. Save up enough money to take a nice vacation in Europe 3. Work towards my college degree 4. Track progress with a counselor 5. Make any effort to be with friends, even if I don't want to
LDR ending here, and I had left my dream job for us so i could move to him. SO now, life goals: new career I love. A great social life. Learn to horseback ride and make a trip with that. Have my own business. Get french citizenship, and could always use more money
Yay, i needed this im meeting up with my ex tommorow for lunch. Deff gotta keep the emotions in check. Ive been doing no contact and it got so bad she called my job! Just to "check" on me. Either way im Moving forward and making me happy.
Thomas McFly hey i just wanted to give you an update so me and my ex hung out yesterday went to the park. It went well we had fun little mentions of our break up. After went to dinner and it was good laughing hanging. Today shes been texting and she ended up saying it felt like it did before. She was happy. So idk we will see where this convo goes. But honestly me taking a step back not contacting her i lost that fear that worry that anxiety. It sounds bad but i dont care. Not that i dont care about her but i dont care if we talk or not or if i see her or not or if shes thinking of me. Yes she crosses my mind every day. But i push thru focus on me and i feel do much better. And because of that attuide that my day is fine with or with out her. She sees that too. She hasnt said its felt like it did in the beginning for literally a yr so thats huge. And its all because i took me back. Working out hanging with friends focusing on work and my daughter. Once you get YOU back. Thats all you need to move forward alone or with your ex but first step is all about you!
1.)improve my relationship with God and my family and friends. 2.)working out and improve my body and have a strong mind over my emotions. 3.)financial freedom..focusing on my work here in japan and my avocadoria franchise 4.)set bounderies.higher self love.self respect and dignity 5.)live freely without worries!!Hakuna matata!!
5 goals... No. 1 Losing the rest of my weight. No. 2 Learning philosophy. No. 3 Learning Minimalism. No. 4 Learning - The Power Of Walking Away! 💗 No. 5 Accepting that I am an amazing, beautiful human... No matter what I’ve done wrong... Because life Is a lesson! Bonus goal... No. 6 Read! Read! Read! Reading at least, one book per week. We can ALL get through this! I’ve lost my soulmate... But If It’s real, then he’ll come back home to me. 💗💯 We have to have peace In that fact and trust The Universe - ALWAYS!
Emotional self control being more confident doing 20-30 minuets of meditation a day being more grateful and thankful for what and who I have. And last but not least switching from the mindset of what can I get to what can I give. How can I make someone’s day better?
Put Rory or Craig Kenneth on to easy your anxiety and wanting to break no contact. I have done this so many times I can't tell you. I can tell you it works!
I did the same thing she did but I never had confirmation she was talking to someone else. I assumed she was talking to someone else because she wasn’t back with me. I kept asking until I got blocked called private with angry messages and some crying ones. Never got a response. I assumed she was with someone else and I had her mom come get her clothes that she’s left over here since the break up and give back my key. That was on Easter. She has not spoke to me since April 7th. I stopped contact finally April 27th. Like this girl in the email I think I messed up for good and it won’t be long before she’s with someone else if she ain’t already.
I’m trying to deal with my anxiety....it’s not easy....no contact now for....4 weeks...it’s been 3.5 months that he has gone....we have grown up children & it’s hurting us all....
My ex wants to return the promising ring which i gave to her. It's been one week we broke up and actually the broke up was from her side and so I went for No contact period after the break up and it's been just 5 days of my NC my ex called me and asked me how am I doing and all to which I replied cold and calm and then she told me to take my promising ring back to which I responded cold and calm and said Ok fine and i cut the phone from my side !! Well is it over ?? I mean she has completely decided to move on that's why she's returning the ring 💍 !! 😥
hey Rory, i did all but mistakes. he is now dating another girl and claims to be in love with her and lies to everyone about me trying to harm my identity to them help
Moments do pass. 1. Build my company to financial success. 2. Size 8 jeans 3. Take up a sport or outdoorsy thing 4. Date like a motherfucker 5. Build my relationship with my son
1. Be able to travel near enough whenever I want. 2. Not have to worry about spending money to a certain level 3. Become a stuntman/star in videos doing stunts 4.Become a really good photographer and editer 5. Stick to the gym properly and see good results
Hey, i did the same mistakes as she did and now I am blocked from everywhere and we had no talks from july3. I want her to chase me and she is in the same college and department but my senior. What can i do so that she chases me just once. I really want to feel that again. I was her 3rd bf and it was my first relationship. Please tell
Hi, currently my boyfriend and I are on a break. We have been dating long distance for over a year. I haven't had any contact with him for 4 days. Is being on a break the same as a break up. He told me if i needed to move on he couldn't stop me. I'm a little angry. I don't know how to proceed
Hi Rory. This topic may be a little sensitive. I'm not sure you have done a video of it. The topic is about my girlfriend sexual past or history matters? Does the body count matters?
Hey @Rory....great videos... do you have any tips for handling an ex who contacts you every few months? I’m 1 year post break up and it’s been going on for that long. Each time he confuses me, I tell him to stop reaching out. He won’t commit or get back together.
@@hgzmatt she tends to be a very controlling person..as well as toxic in many ways. Also, Right now, after the break-up I am in depression and she only adds more to it by constantly telling me to do things she wants (such as getting engaged with a girl she wants). So, I cut her off. Has been two weeks since. I feel better now.
@@hgzmatt I've been hoping for her to change for the better for 10 years. Haven't gotten anywhere. So, giving her the hard treatment is my only option now.
@@IshanPatel2235 I haven't even told my mother about the breakup.. she never even asked about my relationship. Her only worry being that I'd move countries again. So I don't expect anything really.
Hmmmm...I really don't know why I can't find way to stop the communication between me and my bf? Now it's not that easy to find some point in time I am deeply asking questions to myself, if I am still alive and happy? ??? I HATE me..
My ex mailed the engagement ring and I gave her and she also returned the apartment keys I feel like I blew it she also has blocked me on Facebook messenger and her phone but she still has me on Facebook friends list and our pictures are still on her Facebook page what should I do I have been in no contact since we split
Thank you, it was wonderful! This moment THAT moment in my life, I really miss him. 34. day of nc, and he started a new relationship. BUT! I know I have to practising my emotional self controll. It is painful, hard, difficult..😐😐😐 BUT! I was strong; 34. day 💪💪💪💪 Your videos are really helpful, THANK YOU!
Am very fit and strong physically! Result of hours in the gym, miles of walking and hicking! Would love to be the same when it comes to emotional control! Any gyms for such purposes?!🤣🤣
1- Get the job in Web Development that’s going to change my career. 2- Continue to exercise, get fit, stronger. 3- Start Coding projects. 4- Start with my new hobby. 5- Continue with my personal development.
It's been three months now. I haven't heard anything back from her. Not even for the holidays. In about a week was supposed to be our 2 years anniversary. I'm losing hope more and more. I am stuck in this mental loop. I haven't gone to the gym once since even though I have a membership. In the beginning I barely ate anything. I barely got through the days at cooking school. When I wasn't there I was literally on the couch letting myself die. I lost like 40 pounds of muscle mass. I'm overweight. I know what to do. That I need to do it for myself. But then I remind myself of the slight possibility that we could get back together, then I just depress and breakdown because I tell myself that I'm just wishing for something that I have better odds at getting struck by lightning on a sunny day. I basically lose track of doing it for me. After all this time I feel like I have nothing to show for if she would even reach out. (Which I think would be no less than a miracle.) I'm dirt poor cause I have to attend school, I am an introvert so very little social skills, I don't know how to make new friends and meet new people. I feel hopeless.
TheFlameOfLife These are all stories you are telling yourself - limiting beliefs that you are self-fulfilling. As Coach Corey Wayne would say, at some point you must participate in your own rescue. You know what you need to do my friend, now get to it.
Please suggest how to deal with hot and cold behaviour of an ex. It's frustrating. I didn't chase following your advice. But they always come back and disappear again.
You'll never regret telling the truth! Set a date to hang out, and follow my traditional advice there. If they won't set dates but they keep reaching out, remind them that you're not interested in friendship.
I love him & and won't contact him. I enough hurt. I begged for 4days one text every day, not noo. I'hv sm value and m from a reputed family not a begger.
I never comment in TH-cam videos , but it's been so hard lately. Today is two weeks since we broke up. I was thinking of proposing her in May, I am devastated :(
I saw him last night and hi run away after same time I saw him again near by my house with his friend and I ignore him totally. I think he moved on. He forget everything I really don't understand why he doing like this. Pls help should I call him . Pls help me I want him back in my life. What a do pls help I am going mad pls help.
If I was the one that said we can't be friends and to not call or text me ever again, am I the one that has to eventually reach out or do I go no contact indefinitely? My concern is that me saying to not contact me, he will not contact me to respect my wishes.
i told him i was unhappy because he wasn't making me a priority. He said he couldn't give me what i needed even though I told him I would like to work on the relationship with him. He said he wanted to still be friends and I said no. So I guess the breakup was mutualish but more so I had to walk away and he didn't fight for it.
also important to mention, we share mutual friends and we are traveling on a trip overseas with friends in 2 weeks. I'm not sure if should reach out before then so its not weird.
If you would like to try the relationship again, then you can start a dialogue. If you don't want to start another relationship you can reach out to bury the hatchet so-to-speak.
My ex still wants to be friends even though he is talking to this new girl. And when we meet we get intimate. So he wants to continue to have me and her. I don’t really know how to continue this. I would like him back. But I don’t want this back and forth.
I would lovingly tell your ex that you are not cool with that, and so he should only be in contact with you if he wants to get back together. Then you should walk away and never look back.
help me. he broke up with me and I did no contact rule. he wrote me after a week. I said I was thinking that he changed his mind. but all he said was like"i wrote you just to know how are you doing, but i didn't change my mind." :( what does it mean? do i have any chnace to get him back? should i begin no contact again?
Nastarin Sodikova just move on but state well I understand and respect your decision and just incase you change your mind give me a call and just move on. Don't call,text or come into contact with them or whatever just ignore them and work on yourself.
h22sparkle thank you. we meet up with him 3 days ago. he waited until I beg. But I didn't. He gave me a rose and we broke up oficially without drama. He said can we be friends, I said no. what should I do now?
Nastarin Sodikova no don't do the friends thing. That's not where you want to be stand firm. Because the last thing you want is for someone else to be in your spot while your there as a friend don't fall for that shit your better than that know your worth as a special person in a relationship and don't take anything less.
I had nearly the exact same situation as you but mine was done over the phone so even more disrespectful, my advice would be the same as h22, since the second time she contacted me and told me she hasn't changed her mind i kept it no contact she's been changing her WhatsApp pictures to suggest she will cut me off ect hinting ect i haven't tried to play the game with her and I have no intention to, I'm working on myself been going gym 1month straight put on 2kg as I'm pretty skinny looking and feeling alot better than 1 month ago, all it takes is for you to value yourself over anyone once you do that you will attract the right person into your life and you will thank your ex for helping you change into a better person and moving on with your life 😁
1. get to uni in bristol 2. start making my music videos on youtube. 3. get back to my goal weight. 4. do self love meditation everyday 5. LEARN NOT TO GET WALKED OVER
-Become a better Chess Player -Have more confidence to perform magic for strangers -Create my own Language Teaching Website/TH-cam channel -Read a book every week -Learn Japanese
i know its been several months i think its over its not common for her to come back after several months now nailed it into the coffin i dont think she even thinks of me sense we ghosted each other or maybe moved on to someone bigger and better and you know what they say bigger is always better.
Hello Rory your videos are a life line to me atm! As you can see😉 Quick question: Emotional self control /Emotional strength are these names for the same thing. Or two different animals?🤣 Your insights are great tools for growing and learning! Much love❤💖❤
You are great, one question...my ex when she was in relationship whit me she play chess online every day. And I told you millions times, that I not like. Now when we broke up, she not play any more. She very little use what's app, and viber. She broke up in message, I not call her and messages two month's. Tell me what you think about that? thanks
MK Rob Remain confident and unaffected. Do not talk about your past relationship, or the other guy. Set a date and have fun! Women do not reach out to exes if they are happy in their current relationship.
This is a long comment but perhaps we could arrange a Skype session if you think you can help? I'm a month into strict no contact. The first two weeks were hell but it's gotten so much better. I was seeing someone for about 6 months. We were such good friends and lovers and a big part of each others' lives. It was open in that we both slept with other people and to this day that was never a problem for either of us because we valued our sexual freedom and knew how much we valued each other but even though we started this way and it was ver easy-going and casual we ended up falling for each other, telling each other that we loved one another but never taking it that step further, and never even talking about it. She told me I was the first man she said that she loved and could truly be herself with. I feel that this miscommunication between our feelings was the catalyst for what followed as we both started to project our frustration onto each other which at times made both of us feel like the other person didn't care. I'd been going through a mental health crisis which really didn't help either. I ended up acting irrationally and insensitively a few times and it led to a very messy and emotional break up (not that we were ever officially a couple) and she blocked me on everything. All of this messy stuff took place in maybe the last two weeks of our relationship and a lot of it was directly due to the way in which my mental state altered my behaviour and made me much more prone to acting impulsively. Before that pretty much all our time together was beautiful and we got on so well. This was about 6/7 weeks ago. We met a week later to talk through things and she'd unblocked me on Facebook and we started talking again for a bit. Things were going well then I made a huge mistake. I sent her a couple of long messages trying to provide some explanation re my mental health as I had been in therapy for a few weeks which was going well and was so close to a diagnosis but unfortunately it backfired massively and I can understand in hindsight how intense it must have been for her during exam period. She said she didn't think it was a good idea to be there through my recovery which I don't resent at all, even though it was painful to read. She said she'd see me on the weekend for my birthday but to lay off sending her any messages because they really overwhelmed her. I pushed her too far because I sent her another short message apologising and asking to meet before my birthday. She got very angry at me and blocked me on messenger telling me she was doing it for her own sake. She saw it as me being needy and wanting to get shit off my chest but in reality I just wanted to say that my birthday probably wouldn't be a great time to see each other if she felt she was moving on and that I thought she deserved that in person and that we might have been able to have a nice talk before having a break/separating but she took that really badly. I think she saw it as me being spiteful and essentially she ended up begging me to stop communicating with her as she desperately wanted me to get better, that it was all she could think about, that she felt hopeless and couldn't do anything for me and that she needed to function because she had so much going on in her life (exams etc.). I knew in this moment how serious this was and we've not spoken since. That day I received a horrible message from her friend who barely knows me or witnessed much of our relationship telling me how toxic I am and that I manipulated her, that I've cause her so much pain and that I took advantage of her kindness which I imagine was her mantra about me to the girl I was seeing. I've backed off completely because I love her enough to appreciate she is human and needs her space in order to heal and direct her energy where it's needed. It's been heart-breaking because I firmly believe miscommunication, my mental state at that time and her friend's bias opinion of me undermined something so special. I feel very misunderstood. The other day, after three weeks of no contact at all she blocked me on Facebook. I think it shows she still clearly cares and that any reminder of me probably still hurts her but it was painful. Regardless, after the first couple weeks of no contact I knew that she was right and that her being there for me during any kind of recovery would be unhealthy and that I had to face my demons on my own. In the last three weeks I have made amazing changes. I am in regular therapy and counselling, I have been exercising at a holistic fitness centre and working with a food scientist to approach my diet regarding mental wellbeing, I'm getting out much more, I've swapped from a course that was making me miserable and contributing to my depression to a creative business school and online music production course so I'll be constantly working on something I'm passionate about. I've discovered that I'm very talented on piano, I've moved into a beautiful new apartment, and the most incredible thing I've done is start the Wim Hof breathing and cold shower method that has all but blown away my depression and anxiety. I feel great, and I can see things objectively, but of course I still miss her. She loved me so much, I know it, but I was a huge source of pain for her too. It's bittersweet. I feel like a changed man, the man she deserved. And in all of this change she had a direct influence which she is unaware of. It's just that I know I can't reach out and I'm not sure she will because I feel like she'd been convinced by her friend that I'm 'toxic'. I feel like this is a pretty complicated and unorthodox situation but please correct me if I'm wrong. Please lemme know if you've some advice or if you genuinely think a conversation together might help. Thanks!
The no contact is the easy part. My issue is battling thoughts. Thoughts of what my ex is doing. I have to watch these videos and other favorite content creators, fall asleep with the TV on and keep busy. I have to do things to distract and occupy my mind. My break up was 3 weeks ago. At this point I don't want to hear from my ex so if he calls I won't answer or call back. It's ME time and I'm hanging in there 😁
Hang in there...
imshrrj it will get easier . Those thoughts about my ex will come mostly at night. I started walking for 1 hr at night before bedtime . I will be so tired and my head was clear. Keep ur head up . If he reaches out don’t let him hurt u again.
I hope you’re doing well
Ηοw are you now?
My breakup was a week ago today, but it feels like forever. I think if my Ex got in touch now, I'd be afraid of reading or answering his calls, so I guess I'm not quite ready yet. I love him and miss him. The past week has been hard work, and I don't want all that work to go to waste. 🍒
I listen to you everyday day, I can't explain how much you are helping me through this difficult time. God bless.
I saw my comment now and see that its a year ago. I would like to say that all his advice worked. My ex came back but i didnt want him back lol. Im so over it..
1. Dream House Completed
2. Balanced Lifestyle
3. 50,000USD Yearly Income
4. Healthy Relationships
5. Successful Motivator
"It is a moment and moments do pass" That's right!
My goals
1. To buy my own car
2. To going back to fit body
3. To travel the world
4. To be more society with my life
5. To run my own business (open a coffee shop)
Thanks Rory, your channel really does help me a lot.. And I'm far better now.. It's been 2.5 months since I broke up with my ex boyfriend.. I'm still miss him but I'm all good now.
Love ans support your channel From Cambodia
Love your videos.
1) New job.
2) New image and clean myself up.
3) Healthier and get fit.
4) Be free from debt and financially comfortable.
5) Reconnect with friends and get more.
I keep coming back to videos like these to remind me to stay in no contact. My mind tricks me with fear.
I think that if you say to someone "Let me know if you start seeing someone so I can let go of any hope" is showing a bit of weakness and wanting. It's giving them a bit of power over you. If I found out that he was seeing someone, I would be calmer. I know it's hard and it hurts like hell, but if you can do this one thing calmly, it would put you in a good light. Concentrate on yourself. Your body, your appearance, your inner beauty and happiness and one day we'll get there. 🍒
Brilliant! Doing that right now. Still drinking because I am lost, losing self respect. Not moving on. Really invigorates me. xx
Don't drink! It fucks with your emotions specially the day after.
Thanks for the great conversation the other day Rory. She reached out and she’s showing signs of wanting to get back. It’s only a matter of time now. In the meantime, I’m just going to continue to work on myself and not worry about her. No contact or limited contact in my case is definitely working.
Jared sam Bravo!
The Love Chat thanks again my friend. I’m looking forward to doing a 2nd Skype consultation with you in the near future.
How long was the long was the no contact?
Allan TheLimiterUS about 1 1/2 month
I am so happy for you.
- get back to favorite hobby, photography
- car driving license
- Scuba diving certification
- Fit body (hiking, swimming)
- Rock climbing
Broke up 3 weeks ago, my ex reached out 3 times but no sign of getting back yet.
During this time, i’ve been doing things I never thought i could, I moved to another city, live alone in my flat, get a real job (i was a freelancer), be able to swim!! (I was so scared of water), and got a motorcycle license (that I never learned how to ride!!) btw, i live in the island so i go for a morning run, swim at the beach and gym regularly.
I’m actually so proud of myself, just booked a ticket to Europe going for backpacking there for 3 weeks. I know my ex is amazed by my progression now, but i do this all for me. To get myself back, for the best to myself!!
Goal one : get back into shape
Goal two: make one solo trip
Goal three: socialize with my friends more
Goal four: be financially independent
Goal five : learn more for my career this year
Goals
1 weight lifting/exercise
2 buy new clothes
3 find a better job
4 get my license
5 save up for a trip to Japan
yo man, we have similiar goals. have you been to japan yet? its a country that i really really want to visit with my friends.
Had coaching with Rory last night and it was totally worth it. My BU is super fresh, but I'm atleast accepting feeling so bad.
My goals would be
1. Get a driver's license (Been working on it)
2. Learn to play guitar! (I already sing from time to time)
3. Learn to be by myself and love myself more
4. Get even better at certain video games!
5. Take better care of my physical and mental health (already taken some babysteps)
Thanks alot for what you do man!
No contact is THE best reaction to being dumped! It saves you from making stupid stuff you’ll regret. They know where to find you so let them go!
I deactivated my Facebook account
She still has my things
I’ve gone no contact (1 month and two weeks)
I left her alone as she asked.
1. Finish my college degree
2. Find a permanent job
3. Restore my relationship with God
4. Stay away from negativity (family , friendship, enemies)
5. Forgive myself
Final-Heal
Am wishing you strenght to do it..have faith and i ll pray for you...
Take back control.
1)Make myself great again.
2)Build up muscle.
3)build up business Empire
4)Invite the right people into my mind.
Thank you soooo very much!!!😍🥰🤩💕💕💕💋💋💋
1. Get my first certification in college
2. Good health
3. To be happy
4. Be financially free
5. Be more social
Goals:
1) Land a decent job
2) Drive (learn; buy my first vehicle)
3) Work on some projects (stories and novels, poems, etc.)
4) Give back to the community
5) Get back into music (playing piano, saxophone... perhaps learn a new instrument)
6) Learn to say "No" in some situations.
7) Keep journaling and exercising
8) Treat myself to good things (clothing, self-care products, etc.) and take charge!
9) Appreciate my personal growth 💎
Sell my home
Become finicially free
Get back in the gym
Find a new social group
Im soooooo excited!!!
Your advice on how to keep a girl interested in you during a relationship is helpful. It allows me to reflect on where I went wrong. Explaining to rationale of why it is important to be of high value supplies a deeper understating of the skill
5 goals
1. save deposit money for buying house
2. learn to play piano
3. stay positive even when there's no hope
4. have better emotional self control
5. have a healthy body and mind, stay detached from external influences
I needed to hear this. I wanted to reach out to her but after hearing the consequences of the woman’s mistakes after contacting her ex...I’ve continue to go incognito.
It’s hard as hell but it’s what I need to do.
You are right. Believe me. The best part of no contact is you simply cannot do or say anything wrong. And every time you overcome the urge to break it you will feels so glad you didn't and just a little bit stronger too. I made the common mistakes at the beginning of the breakup and was mistreated and rejected. Then thanks to this guy doing these highly motivational quality videos I changed tactics, went no contact and was reached out to on day 8. The chatter went on a few days and I even got a Valentine's heart with no other msg but I made the mistake to tell him I was going out with a friend that night after getting him to admit he wasn't doing anything and his reaction was very negative even jaleous. After that he went pretty cold. I made another mistake, called him to confront his behaviour while bringing up some other issues. He cut the conversation saying he had to go somewhere at that moment we could continue to talk later that afternoon. Later never came. So now I am back into no contact almost a full week and will keep it that way no matter what. Self control is of utmost importance and if we don't have it, then it's best not to talk or to keep it super light for a while, no matter what
It's been almost 3 weeks since she dumped me. I found out last week she has a new boyfriend. Today about half way through the day I listened to one of your videos and I had a complete change of emotions. I know she is gone forever and even if she came back, she is not good for me and it will never be the same. Her moving on so fast made me loose alot of respect for her. I'm feeling better today for the first time since the break up. I hope I continue to feel this way. It's so exhausting thinking about getting her back and the what ifs. Shes not worth the energy
I was just about to text him and watched this video. 2 weeks into NC
Goal
1 financial stability
2 write poetry when I feel good I can remember that there is light during dark times and when it's tough I can get it put of my head and onto paper
3 be more social with loved ones who are in my life and choose those who choose me
4 start to train MMA with emphasis and efficiency
5 pick up music and learn to make something beautiful
I am enjoying your inspirational videos. They are very helpful. Thanks again.
- Meditate Everyday
-Journal Everyday
-Move out and be financially independent
-Look and Feel My Best
-Learn my value
Love these goals, Claudia!
Thank you for the great advise and support for people like us going through difficult times :). I appreciate your effort! This is one of the best vids I watched. And you voice is so calming, I can listen to you all day. Thanks again! God bless you!
1. Develop an App.. maybe a game or something..
2. Get in shape.. get rid of the fat belly.. lol
3. Be more social.. funny.. easy going..
4. Have fun.. get rid of depression, that was pre and post breakup
5. Be more with family and friends.. because my god.. this relationship made me forget about them..
My Ex got in touch after two weeks, and we tried again. But then after two days he'd start lecturing and interrogating me almost constantly. Then when I thought he'd finished he'd start again. He'd fetch up stuff from the past saying he'd got this trust issue in his head and it was my fault. I knew he was 'projecting' on to me narcissistically. And all this had come after a week of me cooking and cleaning and satisfying him in bed. I left calmly with my things and when he hoovers me again or can't get anyone else I'll not bother answering him.🍒
I wish I knew about these videos when it happened to me. He asked from me to trust him and he expressed his love to me. I have tried, even though I didn’t love him yet, but I liked spending time with him and learning to love things about him.
I went through the biggest disappointment in my life when he decided that he doesn’t have fun anymore. I end up being disappointed in myself and my behavior of reaching out to him trying to understand. We have blocked each other in every social way.
Now I’ve learned that I’ve dodged the bullet knowing that he was controlling, selfish and narcissistic.
I am slowly healing from the pain of disappointment.
I love this channel. Can relate to so many of the topics.
My ex said that all the time. “It’s not your business...do what makes you happy. I didn’t ask you to stay” It’s the worst feelings...
Having emotional self control led me to write my 5 life goals:-
may change a little as l grow.
1) Learnt to say NO!!!
does not mean l'm inconsiderate but that l am particular about who l associate with, since l come from a good class, also avoid and get rid of toxic people, a change was long overdue.
2) Taking care of No1 means:- being self sufficient, taking care of my monitory situation whilst at the same time being vulnerable enough in relationships.
On the personal side take care of:-
"myself"
"my family"
"my loved ones"
all by myself, the best that l can, keep up with my personal and my mental health, growth and personal development, yoga and excersise.
3) Work at Life Goals means exactly that and l am working on them.
4) Avoid Manipulators be aware those types of people who will take charge of your life, manipulate you, keep you from growth, become the better version of yourself!, and increase my social situation and making new friends. (I know how much l've grown already)
5) No Contact Rule work only under this if and when embarking on new relationships!.
(Its proven its worth.
however, you need to be really strong cut off and move on)
It seems the best way forwards.
I've got this habit of blocking my ex if I'm not emotionally stable enough for any confrontation with him. It gives me time to clear my head and calm down and think straight. I know it may not be a good idea, but it's the only way I can function. 🍒
My ex blocked me and won't reply to me. Lol
Goal 1 save money for school
Goal2 learn to say no
Goal 3 keep working out to be thick and tone
Goal 4 control my emotions
Goal 5 not settle
1. Go to the gym at least 5 times a week
2. Save up enough money to take a nice vacation in Europe
3. Work towards my college degree
4. Track progress with a counselor
5. Make any effort to be with friends, even if I don't want to
My goals is to recovery to heal emotionally .
Go to truck driving school, while still working.
Decorate my new place.
Focus on myself fully.
LDR ending here, and I had left my dream job for us so i could move to him. SO now, life goals: new career I love. A great social life. Learn to horseback ride and make a trip with that. Have my own business. Get french citizenship, and could always use more money
Yay, i needed this im meeting up with my ex tommorow for lunch. Deff gotta keep the emotions in check. Ive been doing no contact and it got so bad she called my job! Just to "check" on me. Either way im Moving forward and making me happy.
lucinda demonia Awesome!
Hi Lucinda Demonia - can you let us know how it went? - wish you all the best next to that of course!
Thomas McFly. Hey well life got in the way. My daughter got sick so i had to go pick her up and rescheduled lunch. So ill keep you posted.
Thomas McFly hey i just wanted to give you an update so me and my ex hung out yesterday went to the park. It went well we had fun little mentions of our break up. After went to dinner and it was good laughing hanging. Today shes been texting and she ended up saying it felt like it did before. She was happy. So idk we will see where this convo goes. But honestly me taking a step back not contacting her i lost that fear that worry that anxiety. It sounds bad but i dont care. Not that i dont care about her but i dont care if we talk or not or if i see her or not or if shes thinking of me. Yes she crosses my mind every day. But i push thru focus on me and i feel do much better. And because of that attuide that my day is fine with or with out her. She sees that too. She hasnt said its felt like it did in the beginning for literally a yr so thats huge. And its all because i took me back. Working out hanging with friends focusing on work and my daughter. Once you get YOU back. Thats all you need to move forward alone or with your ex but first step is all about you!
1.)improve my relationship with God and my family and friends.
2.)working out and improve my body and have a strong mind over my emotions.
3.)financial freedom..focusing on my work here in japan and my avocadoria franchise
4.)set bounderies.higher self love.self respect and dignity
5.)live freely without worries!!Hakuna matata!!
1. Finish my college degree
2. Be more attractive
3. Improve my communication skills
4. Improve my singing skill
5. Learn to be alone
5 goals... No. 1 Losing the rest of my weight. No. 2 Learning philosophy. No. 3 Learning Minimalism. No. 4 Learning - The Power Of Walking Away! 💗 No. 5 Accepting that I am an amazing, beautiful human... No matter what I’ve done wrong... Because life Is a lesson! Bonus goal... No. 6 Read! Read! Read! Reading at least, one book per week. We can ALL get through this! I’ve lost my soulmate... But If It’s real, then he’ll come back home to me. 💗💯 We have to have peace In that fact and trust The Universe - ALWAYS!
Emotional self control being more confident doing 20-30 minuets of meditation a day being more grateful and thankful for what and who I have. And last but not least switching from the mindset of what can I get to what can I give. How can I make someone’s day better?
Put Rory or Craig Kenneth on to easy your anxiety and wanting to break no contact. I have done this so many times I can't tell you.
I can tell you it works!
Get out of debt
Move out of home
Get a new job
Get back to my goal weight
Rory, what are your thoughts on reaching out to an ex as suggested by a twelve step recovery program? In order to make amends of course
I think that's fine if your only intention is to make amends and not reconcile.
Goals:
1. Be financially stable
2. Have a better body
3. Get braces for my crooked teeth
4. Be emotionally stable
5. Own a vehicle and a house
Can you do a video about no contact after cheating?
I did the same thing she did but I never had confirmation she was talking to someone else. I assumed she was talking to someone else because she wasn’t back with me. I kept asking until I got blocked called private with angry messages and some crying ones. Never got a response. I assumed she was with someone else and I had her mom come get her clothes that she’s left over here since the break up and give back my key. That was on Easter. She has not spoke to me since April 7th. I stopped contact finally April 27th. Like this girl in the email I think I messed up for good and it won’t be long before she’s with someone else if she ain’t already.
I’m trying to deal with my anxiety....it’s not easy....no contact now for....4 weeks...it’s been 3.5 months that he has gone....we have grown up children & it’s hurting us all....
My ex wants to return the promising ring which i gave to her. It's been one week we broke up and actually the broke up was from her side and so I went for No contact period after the break up and it's been just 5 days of my NC my ex called me and asked me how am I doing and all to which I replied cold and calm and then she told me to take my promising ring back to which I responded cold and calm and said Ok fine and i cut the phone from my side !! Well is it over ?? I mean she has completely decided to move on that's why she's returning the ring 💍 !! 😥
1. Pass my college math class
2. Find a job
3. Find happiness
4. Learn to love myself
5. Stop letting people take advantage of my kindness.
hey Rory, i did all but mistakes. he is now dating another girl and claims to be in love with her and lies to everyone about me trying to harm my identity to them help
Moments do pass.
1. Build my company to financial success.
2. Size 8 jeans
3. Take up a sport or outdoorsy thing
4. Date like a motherfucker
5. Build my relationship with my son
1. Be able to travel near enough whenever I want.
2. Not have to worry about spending money to a certain level
3. Become a stuntman/star in videos doing stunts
4.Become a really good photographer and editer
5. Stick to the gym properly and see good results
Hey, i did the same mistakes as she did and now I am blocked from everywhere and we had no talks from july3. I want her to chase me and she is in the same college and department but my senior. What can i do so that she chases me just once. I really want to feel that again. I was her 3rd bf and it was my first relationship. Please tell
1) learn to ride a motorbike
2) invest in stocks
3) finish my novel
4) take back up martial arts
5) travel to 10 countries
Hi, currently my boyfriend and I are on a break. We have been dating long distance for over a year. I haven't had any contact with him for 4 days. Is being on a break the same as a break up. He told me if i needed to move on he couldn't stop me. I'm a little angry. I don't know how to proceed
Hi Rory. This topic may be a little sensitive. I'm not sure you have done a video of it. The topic is about my girlfriend sexual past or history matters? Does the body count matters?
Hey @Rory....great videos... do you have any tips for handling an ex who contacts you every few months? I’m 1 year post break up and it’s been going on for that long. Each time he confuses me, I tell him to stop reaching out. He won’t commit or get back together.
Keep the conversation short, just 2-4 texts/minutes on the phone and then "I'm busy, gotta run. Keep in touch"
What if the toxic person in your life is your parent..your mother? Is it possible to cut them off and not feel guilty? How to tackle this feeling?
If you think it's necessary. Maybe you just need some boundaries. If you are living close or relying on them it's going to be hard to do so.
@@hgzmatt she tends to be a very controlling person..as well as toxic in many ways. Also, Right now, after the break-up I am in depression and she only adds more to it by constantly telling me to do things she wants (such as getting engaged with a girl she wants). So, I cut her off. Has been two weeks since. I feel better now.
@@IshanPatel2235 Good! It doesn't have to be permanent but you shouldn't accept her controlling behaviour. Some people never change but there's hope.
@@hgzmatt I've been hoping for her to change for the better for 10 years. Haven't gotten anywhere. So, giving her the hard treatment is my only option now.
@@IshanPatel2235 I haven't even told my mother about the breakup.. she never even asked about my relationship. Her only worry being that I'd move countries again. So I don't expect anything really.
Hmmmm...I really don't know why I can't find way to stop the communication between me and my bf? Now it's not that easy to find some point in time I am deeply asking questions to myself, if I am still alive and happy? ??? I HATE me..
My ex mailed the engagement ring and I gave her and she also returned the apartment keys I feel like I blew it she also has blocked me on Facebook messenger and her phone but she still has me on Facebook friends list and our pictures are still on her Facebook page what should I do I have been in no contact since we split
Travel,Live healthy,Have fun,Find someone else,Become a better person with the one i love(cuz im kinda pain in the asss)
Thank you, it was wonderful! This moment THAT moment in my life, I really miss him. 34. day of nc, and he started a new relationship. BUT! I know I have to practising my emotional self controll. It is painful, hard, difficult..😐😐😐 BUT! I was strong; 34. day 💪💪💪💪 Your videos are really helpful, THANK YOU!
Am very fit and strong physically! Result of hours in the gym, miles of walking and hicking! Would love to be the same when it comes to emotional control! Any gyms for such purposes?!🤣🤣
1- Get the job in Web Development that’s going to change my career. 2- Continue to exercise, get fit, stronger. 3- Start Coding projects. 4- Start with my new hobby. 5- Continue with my personal development.
It's been three months now. I haven't heard anything back from her. Not even for the holidays. In about a week was supposed to be our 2 years anniversary. I'm losing hope more and more. I am stuck in this mental loop. I haven't gone to the gym once since even though I have a membership. In the beginning I barely ate anything. I barely got through the days at cooking school. When I wasn't there I was literally on the couch letting myself die. I lost like 40 pounds of muscle mass. I'm overweight. I know what to do. That I need to do it for myself. But then I remind myself of the slight possibility that we could get back together, then I just depress and breakdown because I tell myself that I'm just wishing for something that I have better odds at getting struck by lightning on a sunny day. I basically lose track of doing it for me. After all this time I feel like I have nothing to show for if she would even reach out. (Which I think would be no less than a miracle.) I'm dirt poor cause I have to attend school, I am an introvert so very little social skills, I don't know how to make new friends and meet new people. I feel hopeless.
TheFlameOfLife These are all stories you are telling yourself - limiting beliefs that you are self-fulfilling. As Coach Corey Wayne would say, at some point you must participate in your own rescue. You know what you need to do my friend, now get to it.
Please suggest how to deal with hot and cold behaviour of an ex. It's frustrating. I didn't chase following your advice. But they always come back and disappear again.
You'll never regret telling the truth! Set a date to hang out, and follow my traditional advice there. If they won't set dates but they keep reaching out, remind them that you're not interested in friendship.
The Love Chat Thank you Rory 💗
Walk away..... don’t get sucked into further confusion or games...
Why does he not respond to my text? I get upset and dont understand.
I love him & and won't contact him. I enough hurt. I begged for 4days one text every day, not noo. I'hv sm value and m from a reputed family not a begger.
I never comment in TH-cam videos , but it's been so hard lately. Today is two weeks since we broke up. I was thinking of proposing her in May, I am devastated :(
Hang in their I'm in the same boat
I saw him last night and hi run away after same time I saw him again near by my house with his friend and I ignore him totally. I think he moved on. He forget everything I really don't understand why he doing like this. Pls help should I call him . Pls help me I want him back in my life. What a do pls help I am going mad pls help.
Lubna Kazi You're doing fine. Remember to have patience, and keep working on yourself!
The Love Chat thanks sir
Update
He said that :if at all I'm dating y should I tell. He came to me & he left me for his selfishness
If I was the one that said we can't be friends and to not call or text me ever again, am I the one that has to eventually reach out or do I go no contact indefinitely? My concern is that me saying to not contact me, he will not contact me to respect my wishes.
vanillaxbean Did you dump your ex? Or did they dump you?
i told him i was unhappy because he wasn't making me a priority. He said he couldn't give me what i needed even though I told him I would like to work on the relationship with him. He said he wanted to still be friends and I said no. So I guess the breakup was mutualish but more so I had to walk away and he didn't fight for it.
also important to mention, we share mutual friends and we are traveling on a trip overseas with friends in 2 weeks. I'm not sure if should reach out before then so its not weird.
If you would like to try the relationship again, then you can start a dialogue. If you don't want to start another relationship you can reach out to bury the hatchet so-to-speak.
My ex still wants to be friends even though he is talking to this new girl. And when we meet we get intimate. So he wants to continue to have me and her. I don’t really know how to continue this. I would like him back. But I don’t want this back and forth.
I would lovingly tell your ex that you are not cool with that, and so he should only be in contact with you if he wants to get back together. Then you should walk away and never look back.
help me. he broke up with me and I did no contact rule. he wrote me after a week. I said I was thinking that he changed his mind. but all he said was like"i wrote you just to know how are you doing, but i didn't change my mind." :( what does it mean? do i have any chnace to get him back? should i begin no contact again?
Nastarin Sodikova just move on but state well I understand and respect your decision and just incase you change your mind give me a call and just move on. Don't call,text or come into contact with them or whatever just ignore them and work on yourself.
h22sparkle thank you. we meet up with him 3 days ago. he waited until I beg. But I didn't. He gave me a rose and we broke up oficially without drama. He said can we be friends, I said no. what should I do now?
Nastarin Sodikova no don't do the friends thing. That's not where you want to be stand firm. Because the last thing you want is for someone else to be in your spot while your there as a friend don't fall for that shit your better than that know your worth as a special person in a relationship and don't take anything less.
I had nearly the exact same situation as you but mine was done over the phone so even more disrespectful, my advice would be the same as h22, since the second time she contacted me and told me she hasn't changed her mind i kept it no contact she's been changing her WhatsApp pictures to suggest she will cut me off ect hinting ect i haven't tried to play the game with her and I have no intention to, I'm working on myself been going gym 1month straight put on 2kg as I'm pretty skinny looking and feeling alot better than 1 month ago, all it takes is for you to value yourself over anyone once you do that you will attract the right person into your life and you will thank your ex for helping you change into a better person and moving on with your life 😁
kind of sounds like what my ex did but I've been much better then before which is best because I forgot the love I had for myself
1. get to uni in bristol
2. start making my music videos on youtube.
3. get back to my goal weight.
4. do self love meditation everyday
5. LEARN NOT TO GET WALKED OVER
-Become a better Chess Player
-Have more confidence to perform magic for strangers
-Create my own Language Teaching Website/TH-cam channel
-Read a book every week
-Learn Japanese
i know its been several months i think its over its not common for her to come back after several months now nailed it into the coffin i dont think she even thinks of me sense we ghosted each other or maybe moved on to someone bigger and better and you know what they say bigger is always better.
Klint Kwiecien Stay strong my friend! You never know how these things will turn out. Just continue to work on yourself!
The Love Chat thank you roray your doing a great job.
Hello Rory your videos are a life line to me atm! As you can see😉 Quick question: Emotional self control /Emotional strength are these names for the same thing. Or two different animals?🤣 Your insights are great tools for growing and learning! Much love❤💖❤
Yep! Pretty much the same thing!
You are great, one question...my ex when she was in relationship whit me she play chess online every day. And I told you millions times, that I not like. Now when we broke up, she not play any more. She very little use what's app, and viber. She broke up in message, I not call her and messages two month's. Tell me what you think about that? thanks
Told her, I make mistake in writing :)
until next time 🙂
She reached out to me today, but don't know what to do... I know for a fact that she is still with the other dude.
MK Rob Remain confident and unaffected. Do not talk about your past relationship, or the other guy. Set a date and have fun! Women do not reach out to exes if they are happy in their current relationship.
This is a long comment but perhaps we could arrange a Skype session if you think you can help?
I'm a month into strict no contact. The first two weeks were hell but it's gotten so much better. I was seeing someone for about 6 months. We were such good friends and lovers and a big part of each others' lives. It was open in that we both slept with other people and to this day that was never a problem for either of us because we valued our sexual freedom and knew how much we valued each other but even though we started this way and it was ver easy-going and casual we ended up falling for each other, telling each other that we loved one another but never taking it that step further, and never even talking about it. She told me I was the first man she said that she loved and could truly be herself with. I feel that this miscommunication between our feelings was the catalyst for what followed as we both started to project our frustration onto each other which at times made both of us feel like the other person didn't care. I'd been going through a mental health crisis which really didn't help either. I ended up acting irrationally and insensitively a few times and it led to a very messy and emotional break up (not that we were ever officially a couple) and she blocked me on everything. All of this messy stuff took place in maybe the last two weeks of our relationship and a lot of it was directly due to the way in which my mental state altered my behaviour and made me much more prone to acting impulsively. Before that pretty much all our time together was beautiful and we got on so well. This was about 6/7 weeks ago. We met a week later to talk through things and she'd unblocked me on Facebook and we started talking again for a bit. Things were going well then I made a huge mistake. I sent her a couple of long messages trying to provide some explanation re my mental health as I had been in therapy for a few weeks which was going well and was so close to a diagnosis but unfortunately it backfired massively and I can understand in hindsight how intense it must have been for her during exam period.
She said she didn't think it was a good idea to be there through my recovery which I don't resent at all, even though it was painful to read. She said she'd see me on the weekend for my birthday but to lay off sending her any messages because they really overwhelmed her. I pushed her too far because I sent her another short message apologising and asking to meet before my birthday. She got very angry at me and blocked me on messenger telling me she was doing it for her own sake. She saw it as me being needy and wanting to get shit off my chest but in reality I just wanted to say that my birthday probably wouldn't be a great time to see each other if she felt she was moving on and that I thought she deserved that in person and that we might have been able to have a nice talk before having a break/separating but she took that really badly. I think she saw it as me being spiteful and essentially she ended up begging me to stop communicating with her as she desperately wanted me to get better, that it was all she could think about, that she felt hopeless and couldn't do anything for me and that she needed to function because she had so much going on in her life (exams etc.). I knew in this moment how serious this was and we've not spoken since. That day I received a horrible message from her friend who barely knows me or witnessed much of our relationship telling me how toxic I am and that I manipulated her, that I've cause her so much pain and that I took advantage of her kindness which I imagine was her mantra about me to the girl I was seeing.
I've backed off completely because I love her enough to appreciate she is human and needs her space in order to heal and direct her energy where it's needed. It's been heart-breaking because I firmly believe miscommunication, my mental state at that time and her friend's bias opinion of me undermined something so special. I feel very misunderstood. The other day, after three weeks of no contact at all she blocked me on Facebook. I think it shows she still clearly cares and that any reminder of me probably still hurts her but it was painful. Regardless, after the first couple weeks of no contact I knew that she was right and that her being there for me during any kind of recovery would be unhealthy and that I had to face my demons on my own. In the last three weeks I have made amazing changes. I am in regular therapy and counselling, I have been exercising at a holistic fitness centre and working with a food scientist to approach my diet regarding mental wellbeing, I'm getting out much more, I've swapped from a course that was making me miserable and contributing to my depression to a creative business school and online music production course so I'll be constantly working on something I'm passionate about. I've discovered that I'm very talented on piano, I've moved into a beautiful new apartment, and the most incredible thing I've done is start the Wim Hof breathing and cold shower method that has all but blown away my depression and anxiety. I feel great, and I can see things objectively, but of course I still miss her. She loved me so much, I know it, but I was a huge source of pain for her too. It's bittersweet. I feel like a changed man, the man she deserved. And in all of this change she had a direct influence which she is unaware of. It's just that I know I can't reach out and I'm not sure she will because I feel like she'd been convinced by her friend that I'm 'toxic'.
I feel like this is a pretty complicated and unorthodox situation but please correct me if I'm wrong. Please lemme know if you've some advice or if you genuinely think a conversation together might help. Thanks!
Can I set a Skype with you?
Lesly Morales Sure thing, just message my email!
I just want my Money back, she has to give me 50$..
I love your videos but I didn't hear you well ! You talk in low voice lol sorry to say that
namy M hm. did you turn up the volume? I'll try to make future videos louder
The Love Chat my volume is in a maximum if you can do something
I can hear it nice and clear